


Handwriting On The Wall

by xKireyy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BoyxBoy, Celebrities, Crossdressing Kink, Drama & Romance, Elounor, Fanfiction, Football, Gay, Gay Sex, International, Liam is with Sophia, M/M, Mental Disorder, Secrets, Singing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suspenders Kink, Swearing, Traveling, Ziall Horlik, cross dressing, finding kinks, football means soccer btw, gay everything, gay fanfiction, gay relationships, harry kink, harry works in a bakery, kinky everything, larry is real motherfuckers, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis is famous, louis kink, narry storan - Freeform, niall is hopeless, nick grimshaw is a dick, popstar, zayn is a model
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-16 13:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 200,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4627857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xKireyy/pseuds/xKireyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is a simple boy who works in a bakery.</p><p>Louis Tomlinson is an uprising singer making his way through the charts. </p><p>When the two meet by so-called 'fate', Harry's life is turned upside down when a simple friendship turns into something more. He's suddenly thrown into a world of popularity, scrutiny, secrecy and love. Everything seems to be going against his logic, but then again, love does that to you, doesn't it? </p><p>Contains mature themes, smut, kinks, swearing, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, emotionally abusive relationships, demonic themes, one instance of cross-dressing, and passive aggressive best friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! :) I'm new here so leave a comment if you like!

XxX

Harry Styles rolled over in bed as his alarm clock blared in his ears. He groaned and stared at it blankly for a moment before slamming his hand on top of it, silencing it. He dangled his arm over the edge of the bed and eyed his work pants lying by his closet. It was too early to be awake on a weekend. He sat there for a few minutes before crawling out of his bed.

Harry ran his fingers through his tangled hair as he went into the bathroom across the hall. His mother was passing by with some laundry as he shut the door.

"Work today, Harry?"

She received a groggy groan in response and smiled, continuing on her way.

Harry stared at himself in the mirror. He was still waking up, so his eyelids were drooping and his face looked pale. He turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on his face, instantly bringing the color back to his skin. He let the water drip down his chin before giving his reflection a cheeky grin.

His mother watched as Harry bolted down the stairs and into the laundry room. A smile slowly grew on her face as she counted down seconds on her fingers before she heard Harry yelling.

"Mum, where's my shirt?"

"In your closet where I put it." She replied. Gemma rolled her eyes at her brother's antics but Harry darted out of the laundry room and back to his room upstairs. Minutes later he came down in his black slacks and polo and sat at the table next to Gemma.

"You should try to keep track of your own clothes instead of making mum do it." Gemma teased.

Harry smiled and Anne set a plate of breakfast in front on him. Harry immediately began eating. There was an eased silence between the three.

"So Harry, how long do you work today?" Anne asked.

"Pretty much all day." He answered, looking up from his plate. "They asked since tomorrow is a holiday. It's going to be busy so they wanted all the employees they could get."

"Do you need a ride?"

"No, I was going to drive."

"But Harry I was going to use the car today." Gemma frowned.

He furrowed his brows and gave his mom a look. She shrugged at him.

"You two work it out, don't get me involved."

Harry pursed his lips in annoyance. "Fine, Gemma you can use the car today. Mum, will you take me to work?"

She smiled. "Of course, hun."

Harry smiled and put his dish in the sink. "I'll get my shoes on."

"I'll be in the car." She grabbed the keys and went to the car. Minutes later Harry jumped in the passenger's seat, his shoes still untied. Anne gave him a disapproving look and he gave her a cheesy smile. He quickly tied his shoes to rid of her expression.

The bakery was only a few minutes away, so Harry and his mother listened to the radio quietly as they drove. She parked in front of the bakery and right before Harry jumped out of the car, she grabbed his wrist and kissed him on the forehead.

"Have a good day. Call me when your shift ends."

He smiled. "I will." Harry jumped out of the car and jogged down the sidewalk to the front entrance. He opened the door and his co-workers instantly greeted him.

"Good to see ya Harry! Glad you decided to show up on time."

Harry chuckled. "Yeah, well, have to give credit to my mum. Gemma decided to steal the car today."

"It's what sisters are for, isn't it?" His manager smiled, putting her hands on her hips. "Now get to work, it's going to be busy."

Harry nodded. "Right."

XxX

"Hello! Welcome to your local radio broadcasting station! Today, we have a special visit from Louis Tomlinson, an uprising singer who's making his way up the charts-"

The radio was flipped off, gaining Harry's attention. He looked up from his phone to see one of his co-workers finding a station to listen to.

"Don't like radio news?" He teased.

"I'd rather listen to music." She replied, stopping on a pop station that had all the major hits currently. Harry wasn't one to listen to mainstream music; he liked older music or instrumental - things that he could sing to or harmonize with. A lot of the music these days were lacking in depth and passion. Harry thought of becoming a singer but realized that he would rather go to college and get a degree than be a one-hit-wonder and his uprising fame would crash down below him. It was a much safer route.

A few hours later it was lunchtime and customers were coming in by the dozens. Some of them were getting pastries and loaves of bread for the holidays while others wanted either just for enjoyment. Harry smiled at each customer as they entered and exited the bakery. He loved his job. Sometimes he got to help make the pastries or decorate them or simply operate the front cash register. Either way, he loved the atmosphere and the people that worked with him. The initial lunch rush was starting, so Harry took a deep breath. The line was starting to build up, and soon the large space of the entrance was filling up with people. Harry heard the distinct chime of the opening door, but ignored it as many people were filing in the entrance way.

He helped multiple people one-by-one with their orders and the line decreased significantly the next few minutes. A smile never ceased to leave his face as each customer passed through, some cheerful, some not so much.

"I'll have a blueberry pastry." A girl that approached the cash register said. Harry nodded and went to get one from the glass case, but saw there were none. He frowned and found a co-worker to take his place while he went to the back to get some more. It was rare they ever ran out, but it must be the over-indulgence from the holidays. Harry got a tray and brought it out front, handing the girl one with a napkin. She thanked him and paid while he bent down to set the rest in the glass case in a line.

"I'll have two apple strudels." A male voice said. The co-worker he had replaced him nodded.

"Harry, will you get those for him?" She asked. Harry nodded and reached into the case, picking them up with a napkin, and straightening his back as he stood up. As he looked up at the customer, his voice hitched in the back of his throat and all time seemed to stand still.

The customer had tousled brown hair that was covered by a gray beanie. He was wearing a gray jacket with a black and white striped shirt underneath with black pants. He had blue eyes that shone with deviance and they averted their gaze to Harry. They had a glint of puzzlement as he stared at Harry, but a small smile came to his face. Harry slowly handed him the strudels that he had put in a small bag.

"U-Uh," He cleared his throat. "Here."

He took them and nodded. "Thanks." He reached in his pocket for his wallet. A girl came frolicking up to him and wrapped her arms around his, staring at him lovingly.

"You ready, Lou?"

"Almost, Eleanor." He answered, giving her a quick peck on the lips, making Harry frown. He held out money to Harry and raised his eyebrows. Harry glared at the money before taking it and giving him back some change.

"Thanks curly." He responded, giving him a discreet wink before taking the small bag and walking away. Harry was breathless. He felt stupid though, is this what love at first sight felt like? His co-worker approached him from behind with a big smile.

"You fancy him?"

Harry turned and gave her an incredulous look. "I don't even know him!"

"Then why don't you?"

"Because he has a girlfriend, that much is obvious." Harry eyed them as they sat at a small table in the corner of the bakery, chatting about who-knows-what.

"So?"

Harry suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "So, he's not interested."

"You don't know that! He's Louis Tomlinson, rumors about his sexuality never cease even if he has a girlfriend."

"Louis Tomlinson?" Harry questioned. Never had he heard that name until this morning on the radio, which he had just recalled. "Who is he?"

"One of the most popular artists right now. He got famous from the X Factor." She replied, stocking the case with more pastries. "I can't believe you've never heard of him."

"I don't watch the telly often." He sat on the barstool and leaned his head against the wall. Louis Tomlinson. What an interesting name.

"I wouldn't doubt your chances with him. He's said to get in and out of relationships quickly, though this current one he has has been going for a while now." She said, eyeing the said couple curiously.

"It doesn't matter." Harry said bleakly, "So what if I fancy him, I have nothing to offer except my cooking."

She burst into a fit of laughter, slightly startling Harry. She put her hands on her hips and faced him. "Harry, you don't give yourself enough credit! There's plenty of things to like about you!"

He certainly didn't agree but didn't press the argument further. Sure, he found Louis attractive, but he had a girlfriend and he was famous. He wouldn't ever like an ordinary guy like Harry.

Eventually, the lunch rush was over, but Louis and Eleanor were still in the corner, even being long done with their strudels. Was it just Harry, or did Louis keep sneaking glances at him every now and then? He must've been hallucinating or something.

Eleanor stood up and left to go to what Harry presumed was the bathroom. Louis watched her carefully for a moment before standing up slowly, letting the chair be pushed back by his legs, and approaching Harry. Harry looked up from his phone and swallowed harshly, attempting to hold back his fidgety legs as they kept tapping up and down.

Louis leaned on the glass and did nothing but look at Harry, and eventually he got so self-conscious he wanted it to end. "Can I help you?" He snapped, more harshly than intended. His nervous tapping became more rapid, though Louis didn't seem to notice. The color in Harry's face was draining the longer Louis stared at him.

"I've never seen someone quite as attractive as you before." Louis said, completely disregarding Harry's question. He was caught so off-guard that his mouth gaped open and his hands went cold. Did he seriously just say that?

"Um...excuse me?"

"You heard me." Louis lips twitched into a devious smile. "Are you single?"

"You're not so why does it matter?" Harry shot back. He groaned internally. He had never been good at speaking with people he was attracted to. So what if a celebrity was hitting on him? So what if he was super attractive? So what if Harry was twitterpated over a guy he just met? He was still in a relationship and that wasn't fair to the other person, as much as Harry wanted that aspect to not be true.

"It was just a question." Louis said, sliding closer. Harry's eyes quivered as he stared at Louis. His blue eyes were shining brilliantly and his small smile made his face look 20x brighter. Harry wanted to ignore him, but he continued. "I've never seen such fascinating hair as yours. Is it natural?"

"Is this how you always talk to people?" He questioned. Harry didn't mean to sound so rude, it was just this Tomlinson guy rubbed him the wrong way, whether he was hot or not.

"Touchy I see." He said, interlacing his fingers. "Well, I was going to ask-"

"Lou-bear!" Eleanor exclaimed, interrupting him. Louis' face went a full 180 and he plastered a smile on his face, extending his arms out to her. She embraced him in a hug and looked at him. "We still have all day. I want to look around the town more."

"Alright, whatever you want." He kissed her slowly and Harry flared his nostrils in disgust. Talk about PDA. He could not be jealous over a guy he just met.

They broke apart and Louis lazily slung his arm over Eleanor's shoulders. "Well, it was nice talkin' to you curly. I'll see you later." He winked and him and Eleanor exited the bakery. Harry clenched his teeth. Did that seriously just happen? The oh-so famous Louis Tomlinson comes frolicking into the bakery - the one Harry works at, no less - and hits on him like it's not big deal? Was Louis even gay? He thought back to what his co-worker had said, but he knew nothing about Louis, and he wasn't about to stalk him on the Internet.

He groaned. This was turning out to be a long day.

XxX


	2. Chapter 2

XxX

That Monday at school, Harry couldn't wrap his head around what had occurred on Saturday. He wasn't sure if he was going to tell his friend Niall or not, but he figured it couldn't hurt. They were in their math class when Harry casually brought it up.

"You mean the Louis Tomlinson hit on you?"

Harry gave him a look. It was only expected Niall would make a bigger deal out of it than it really was. "What's so special about this guy? He seems cocky and arrogant if you ask me."

Niall sat back in his seat, sighing. "Harry, you don't get it. Louis Tomlinson is like, every girls' heartthrob right now, and he was here in our town. Hitting on you, no less!"

"Was he really though?" Harry flicked his pencil back and forth. "Seemed like a miserable chap who wanted out of a relationship."

Niall blinked. "He has a girlfriend?"

"Her name is Eleanor." Harry raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Niall's face was blank for a few moments as he seemed to be processing something. He shook his head and smiled. "No, it's nothing. So no one recognized him?"

"I guess not." Harry shrugged halfhearted. He honestly didn't want to talk about it anymore. It made him feel worse to know that an uprising celebrity had been flirting with him and he was practically indifferent about it. On the inside, he was a nervous wreck, but to the outside it translated to annoyance. This is why people often misunderstood Harry and perceived him as socially awkward.

Yeah, Louis was attractive, but there was way more to it that Harry needed. He wanted to have a relationship with someone who had depth, life experiences, stories to tell, all that stuff. He didn't want some mainstream pop artist to come and sweep him off his feet, only living in the fame and fortune for a few years then having it die off. It was almost like a cliché love story. He let out an irritated sigh.

"Why don't you talk to Liam about it?" Niall questioned. Harry shrugged.

"He's not too experienced with this sort of thing."

Niall laughed. "And you think I am?"

Harry paused. "I guess you're right."

Niall shoved Harry lightly whilst chuckling and the bell rang. They gathered their things and headed off to their next class.

It was no secret that Harry was gay, but he didn't flaunt it everywhere. He had been persecuted for it once in a while, but for the most part everyone at his school was okay with it. The first person he told was Niall, and him being his best friend for countless years said he suspected as much. Harry had only given him a stupid look and Niall giggled.

Harry had tried dating girls before, but found them daunting, so decided to try something else. He found guys much more attractive anyhow with their deep voices and facial hair. For some reason Harry couldn't find himself attractive because he had a hard time growing facial hair. That was the only reason. Other than that, he felt completely normal and loved life as it went on day to day.

Harry stopped at his locker and Liam approached him seconds later.

Speak of the devil. He pursed his lips and looked at his friend. Liam's girlfriend was holding his hand with a gentle smile on her face.

"Good morning Harry," Liam greeted. Harry nodded to him and Sophia in acknowledgement. "Niall said you needed to talk to me."

"He found you that quickly?" Harry was appalled. Niall could be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

"He mentioned something about Louis Tomlinson?" A very questionable look was on Liam's face and Sophia looked at him.

"What about Louis Tomlinson?" She asked.

"We met Saturday." Harry answered. "He came into the bakery and wouldn't stop flirting with me."

Liam's eyebrows raised and his girlfriend looked at Harry in dismay.

"The Louis Tomlinson?"

"Why does everyone keep referring to him as 'the Louis Tomlinson'?" Harry muttered, taking a book out of his locker.

"Are you sure it was flirting?" Sophia questioned.

"Look, I don't know what it was, but he called me curly." A flash of annoyance flashed on Harry's face. Liam nodded slowly.

"Pet names already, eh?"

A smile of amusement came to Harry's face. "Shut up." He closed his locker and put his knapsack over his shoulder. "I'll see you two at lunch."

"I want more details!" Liam shouted after him.

"Later." Harry dismissed him with a wave.

The rest of the day went by normal; Niall hadn't accidentally slipped that Louis Tomlinson had been in town or Harry's name had nowhere near been mentioned. He did overhear some of the girls talking about the radio interview Louis had and it made sense now. He had been in town because he was doing an interview at one of their local radio stations. It was just coincidence Louis and his girlfriend ended up at the bakery.

Harry frowned. Why did fate hate him so much?

He hadn't even told his mum yet. He didn't dare tell Gemma or she would flat out accuse him of lying. The chance of Louis Tomlinson ending up in their town and meeting Harry was less likely than the moon exploding.

Well, since it happened Harry would be expecting the moon to explode any minute now.

He shook his head, refusing to think anymore. He wanted to go home, immerse himself in homework, go to work, and hopefully not have Louis come back to torture him. Harry met him once, a guy who has thousands of fans, tons of money, a girlfriend, hair that was to die for, so why did he fancy Harry?

"You look like you're thinking up a storm." Niall chided, leaning against the locker next to Harry's. Harry sighed, putting his books slowly in his locker.

"I can't stop thinking about him."

Niall smirked. "Ooooh, it's love~"

Harry pushed Niall weakly. "Shut up."

Niall laughed. "You never tell me to shut up! You must really mean it then!"

"I don't know what to do anymore." Harry said slowly. "Here comes this celebrity who flat out says I'm attractive and asks me if I was single, I don't understand why he would like someone like me-"

"Harry, Harry, I'm going to stop you before you start rambling." Niall interrupted, putting his hand on Harry's mouth. He took it off and Harry closed his locker, leaning against it with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "You always over think things. Even when we first became friends, you told me that you had no idea why someone would want to be your friend. Come on Harry, you're a great lad and you have a lot of talents. You're good at cooking, singing, dancing, cleaning...I couldn't even name them all. Stop doubting yourself so much. Who knows, maybe Louis was just testing the waters? Maybe he genuinely likes you, maybe he's forgotten about you by now. Just take it as it comes and don't get all obsessive over him. It's only Monday." Niall gave Harry an earnest smile.

Harry looked down at the floor. Niall was right, he really had to stop over-thinking everything. This is why Niall was his best friend; sure he was a dork and didn't take things seriously half of the time, but he had killer advice and could make anyone happy no matter what the situation. Harry smiled at Niall.

"Thank you, Niall."

Niall's heart throbbed at the sight of Harry's green eyes. How they were shining with so much gratitude was beyond him. Niall didn't know what to say next, so he awkwardly set his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? Let me know if anything else happens."

Harry nodded and Niall walked off, shoving his hands in his pockets. Harry sighed, absentmindedly watching him go. He made his way to the exit of the school towards his car, and as he approached a group of girls, he heard Louis' name. He slowed his pace and as he walked by listened to what they were saying. It wasn't anything of importance, just that they knew he had been in their town over the weekend and were sad they didn't see him. Harry flared his nostrils and continued on. What made him think Louis was going to come back? This was a small town that offered little to nothing for someone like Louis.

XxX

The moment Harry walked into work, the bakery went silent. All of his co-workers were staring at him and he eyed them all curiously as he walked behind the front counter.

"Did I miss something?" He asked slowly.

"Apparently we did on Saturday!" One of the younger girls chimed. "Louis Tomlinson came in here?"

Harry sighed. Of course his co-worker told everyone. She smiled at him and he set his knapsack down in the back corner near the cash register.

"Yeah, he did." Harry muttered.

"And that's not all! She said he was hitting on you!" Another girl said. Harry sat on the bar stool and took out his homework from his knapsack, attempting to ignore them. If he was going to be patronized every time he came into work now he wasn't so sure he wouldn't enjoy it as much.

"We're just playing with 'ya Harry," His manager said, walking out from the back, "Don't worry about it."

He nodded and turned his attention back to his homework. For his English class, he had a six page essay due at the end of the term for something that had inspired him in his life. He hadn't even started yet and the term was almost halfway through. He clenched his teeth and tapped his pencil on his head. He figured he might as well start an outline for the essay that was overkill. Six pages was ridiculous.

The night was slow since it was a Monday, so Harry only had to stop occasionally to help a customer. His manager didn't mind that he did homework since she understood that he had to keep his grades up in order to keep his mother happy and also keep his job.

When his shift was over, he walked out to his car and saw that he had a text from Niall. It said something about Louis being on the news, but Harry watched his phone dim back down and decided to read it later when he got home.

5 Days Earlier

A knocked sounded on the door and Louis looked at it with an eyebrow raised. Eleanor, who was sitting beside him on the couch, looked at Louis with a scowl on her face.

"Who is it?"

Louis blinked. "I don't know since I obviously haven't opened the door yet."

Eleanor stuck her tongue out at him and he slowly stood up and opened it, seeing his agent standing there with a smile on his face.

"I have good news!" He sang cheerfully.

"I hardly doubt it." Louis sang with the same tone but duller. His agent pushed past him into the room and looked at his clipboard, taking a pen from behind his ear.

"So, I scheduled an interview for you in Liverpool on Friday. Then you have a radio interview in Cheshire a day later, and then you have a charity concert in Nottingham the week after." He gave Louis a expectant look.

Louis sighed. It looked like he would be experiencing lots of traveling, something that wasn't particularly his favorite. Eleanor's face brightened.

"Isn't this great Loubear! You're getting noticed!" She hugged him and he gave her a halfhearted smile.

"Yeah. Lots of traveling."

"That's the best part." She looked up at him, giving him a knowing smile. He pursed his lips and pushed himself out of her grasp.

"I thought you had a modeling tour next week." Louis switched topics, grabbing Eleanor's wrists to keep her hands from touching him.

"No Lou, that's in a month." Eleanor gave him a confused look.

"Right, right, sorry." Louis shook his head, swinging Eleanor's hands back and forth. "I've got a lot on my mind, love."

"It's okay." She smiled and kissed him. Louis' agent cleared his throat.

"Anyway." He said harshly. Louis and Eleanor pulled away and looked at him, slightly annoyed. "Start packing. We want to be there a few days early for preparations."

Louis wasted no time. Eleanor complained that she wanted to relax for a few more hours, but honestly, Louis' mind was racing too much for him to focus on anything. He began packing, but his mind wandered, and he absentmindedly folded his clothes and threw them into his suitcase. First they were headed to Liverpool. Louis had been there once before but not for very long. He had never been to Cheshire but heard it was a lovely place. He only knew Nottingham from the movie Robin Hood he used to watch all the time when he was little.

"Lou, what should I wear to the interview?" Eleanor asked, holding up shirts in front of the mirror.

It took Louis a few seconds to register what she had said. "What?"

She turned around to look at him. "To the interview? I want to look nice."

Louis' scowled. "Eleanor, love, the interview is for me, not us."

"What do you mean?"

"Did my agent say anything about us being in an interview together? If it was for both of us, he would've said so explicitly." Louis tossed the rest of his clothes in his suitcase. His mood was slowly declining and Eleanor was not helping.

She frowned and pouted. "But I'm your fiancé-"

"Girlfriend." Louis corrected. "And this is my fame, not yours." He stood up and stormed past her, letting the hotel door slam behind him. He thought he heard Eleanor call after him, but he ignored it. He wanted time to himself for once.

Louis pressed the elevator button and waited impatiently, tapping his foot and twiddling his fingers. The door finally opened and he walked in, seeing only a girl, and pressed the lobby floor button. He leaned against the side of it, pulling out his phone and sending out a text.

Louis felt the burning impression of eyes on him, so he slowly lifted his head to look at the girl. Her eyes were glued on him nervously and her hands were held close to her chest.

"Can I help you?" He asked, his annoyance crystal clear in his tone.

"A-Are you Louis Tomlinson?" Her voice quivered.

"Yeah, so?"

Her eyes widened and a small smile appeared on her lips. "U-Um, I'm a really big fan, if it's not a bother, could I get a pic-"

"Nope." He snapped right as the elevator doors opened simultaneously. He strolled out leaving the girl in a stupor and the doors rolled shut behind him. This was probably going to give him a bad rep if the girl said anything, but it didn't matter to him. He had plenty of other fans that adored him and would gladly sacrifice their souls to meet him. What was one fan to the equivalent of thousands?

He was outside of the hotel now and he spotted a bench. There was no one occupying it, so he sat down and read the text he had just received. He dialed a number and put the phone to his ear, leaning back and resting his arm on the back of the bench.

"What do you want, Louis?"

"Is this how you greet me after so long?" He smirked.

"Yes. I was in the middle of a nap."

"Well I'm more important than sleep! I'm the Louis Tomlinson!"

"And I'm Zayn Malik, and you're an idiot."

Louis chuckled. "Don't be that way, Zaynie!"

"The only reason you'd call me Zaynie is because you're annoyed with Eleanor. Or you're drunk." He chided.

Louis' expression fell. "Is it that obvious?"

"Lou, I'm your best friend. For one, you never ask to call me, and that's also one of our code words for 'get-this-bitch-off-my-ass."

"Right...I forgot about that."

Zayn sighed. "What'd she do this time?"

"She thinks that every interview or concert I have she's invited! I was just in our room and she was picking her outfit for my interview." Louis exclaimed, feeling his previous irritation build back up. A few months ago he decided Eleanor was bad for his health since she only made him angry and stressed and he didn't want to deal with her anymore.

"Well she's going to be there, isn't she?"

"Yeah, in the car."

Louis was positive Zayn rolled his eyes. "Louis, what's so bad about her being in the interview with you? She is your girlfriend."

"But that's all she is, Zayn. This is an interview that was set up for me, not us. I told her that it's my career but she got angry with me."

"Have you ever had a couple interview?"

"Like once, but I told my agent to never book one again because she kept spouting rubbish on how we were getting married. You could only imagine the rumors after that one!"

Zayn let out a long sigh on the other end. Louis knew Zayn was holding back his annoyance with him. He was grateful he had Zayn to talk to, but he knew his constant problems got bothersome. He tried to minimize involving Zayn, but as of recent, there was always something happening that Louis needed to vent about, leaving no room for Zayn to talk for himself.

Zayn brought Louis back to the conversation by starting out slowly. "Listen, Lou, she's your girlfriend. You've been dating for what, a year and a half now? Its time to make a decision, are you going to marry her or break up? You can't keep going in circles forever. If she pesters you that much then do something about it, okay? I can't always be there to help, I have my own problems with Perrie and things going on back home. Just listen to yourself." Zayn pulled the phone away from his ear and spoke softly to someone before speaking again. "I have to go. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah. See ya." Louis sighed. Zayn hung up and Louis let his arm drop to his side with his phone still clasped in his hand. Listen to himself, huh? He wasn't sure how that was supposed to work. He needed Zayn to clarify. He quickly typed out a text.

To: ZZ

What do u mean by 'listen to myself' ?

From: ZZ

Seriously Lou -_-

To: ZZ

Just a question !

Louis tapped his legs impatiently waiting for a text. His phone vibrated and he opened the message.

From: ZZ

Pay attention to how Eleanor makes you feel compared to when youre around other people.

Louis pursed his lips. Zayn put a period at the end of his sentence so that meant he was done with the conversation. Leave it to Zayn to be as vague as ever. He let his phone drop on the bench and his head lulled back. He gazed at the sky that was held clouds drifting lazily and the setting sun. It felt nice outside and the breeze was perfect. He smiled contently.

These are the things he missed about being ordinary. He could sit anywhere in public and not care if anyone was going to come up and ask him for a picture or autograph. He could wear whatever he wanted and wasn't pressured into having a girlfriend. Honestly, his and Eleanor's relationship was pushed on them because Louis had been single for so long people were starting to get suspicious. It had gone alright the first bit, but now their relationship was getting rocky. He found it tedious to be around her for long periods of time and Eleanor was now trying to force marriage on him. Well, at least this was all from Louis' perspective. For all he knew Eleanor could've forced him to sign a marriage contract in his sleep.

The thought made him cringe.

Louis sat there for a while just enjoying the silence. There was the occasional tweet of a bird and footsteps walking by, but no one bothered him. Either they noticed he wasn't in a social mood or they didn't recognize him. Louis still had a long way to become internationally famous. For now, his popularity spanned all of the UK and into Ireland. It was mainly in England that he was recognized since he had been on the X Factor.

Louis checked the clock on his phone, seeing it was a little past eight PM. The sun was finally beginning to set and silhouettes were now being cast across the sidewalk. The leaves were dancing in the breeze and the birds were returning to their nests for the night. Louis simply watched the world around him move as he sat still. It was so much more peaceful by himself, but now he was getting restless. He needed to finish packing or he would be rushing tomorrow morning to shove everything into a suitcase or travel bag.

As he stood up, he hesitated. Eleanor was more than likely to still be in the hotel room so that meant he had to deal with her, which is something he still wasn't in the mood to do. Was it normal for him to be annoyed by his girlfriend this often? Louis always thought in relationships you wanted to be around that person all the time and do everything with them. He wasn't a newbie to relationships - he had had his fair share of heartbreak.

Louis slowly headed back up to the room, despite his reluctance to do so. When he opened the door, he saw Eleanor lying on the bed reading a magazine. She looked up and her face was stoic.

"Are you done throwing a fit?"

Louis scowled. "I came to apologize."

Eleanor blinked a few times before she smiled. "Oh, really? Well that's great! I'm sorry I tried to interfere with your interview." She got up off the bed and stood a few feet in front of him. "Do you forgive me?" She frowned and a small smile found it way to Louis' lips.

"Of course I do, love. We all make mistakes." He hugged her tightly and felt a sudden ache in his chest.

"I love you." She said.

"Love you." He muttered back, not able to convince himself that he meant it.

XxX


	3. Chapter 3

XxX

The crowd cheered loudly as Louis stepped down from the bus; his sunglasses reflecting the flashes of the camera and the suns rays. Eleanor promised she would wait in the tour bus and listen to his interview on the radio rather than come in. She wasn't feeling too chipper either so Louis had told her to stay put. He walked through the row of security as fans reached out to him, their screams piercing his ears. He often wore earplugs just to block out most of the sound so he wouldn't be deaf by the time he hit his thirties. He was only nineteen so he still had a long life ahead of him.

He sat down with the interviewer, putting on a set of headphones and sat on an uncomfortable barstool. Louis cast his agent a look and he shrugged at him. Louis rolled his eyes as he looked back to the interviewer.

"Hello!" He started out cheerfully. "Welcome to your local radio broadcasting station! Today, we have a special visit from Louis Tomlinson, an uprising singer who's making his way up the charts. It's good to have you Louis!"

"Thanks for having me." He said nodding.

"So Louis, tell me about yourself." The interviewer stroked his chin. "Where are you from?"

"I was born in Doncaster. I've lived there all my life and still do." Louis smiled.

"Do you visit your home often?"

"Not recently since I've been performing all over."

"Ah, so do you miss it back home?"

Louis sat back in his seat. "Uh, I guess yeah. There are days I'm glad I'm not home anymore but other times I miss my family."

The interviewer nodded. "Yes, yes, understandable. So Louis, tell us about your career. How is it going right now? Are there any successes that you are proud to share?"

Louis recited the answer that his management had told him to say if that question was ever asked. He was supposed to talk about how hard the struggle was getting from being a simple lad auditioning for the X Factor, going from nothing to as popular as he is now and how much work it had been. The story was second nature to him so he said it without any remorse or emotion for that matter. Louis' agent sighed and looked at the clock.

"So Louis, you have a girlfriend named Eleanor, correct?"

"Correct." He verified, slightly wary where this was going.

"Eleanor is a darling girl. You two seem very happy together."

"Yeah." Louis held a forced smile on his face. The expression didn't meet his eyes. "We are."

"Oh, I sense some hesitation?" The interviewer leaned closer to Louis. He quickly glanced over at his agent and saw he was giving him a stern look. He switched his gaze back to the interviewer.

"Of course we're happy. Just not all couples are going to get along all the time, you know? We have some fights here and there but we still love each other afterwards." Louis pressed his lips together in a firm smile. The interviewer nodded slowly.

"Words spoken by a true man. When did you meet Eleanor?"

Oh shit. Louis couldn't recall. The more seconds that ticked by the farther his mouth dropped and his gaze quivered. Louis slowly looked at the interviewer and he raised an eyebrow.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Louis was frozen for a few more seconds before he blinked. "N-No, yeah, sorry. Spaced out, you know? I'm a bit tired from all the traveling."

Louis' agent waved to grab their attention. They both looked at him and he made a cutting motion by his throat then tapped on his wrist. The interviewer scrambled to grab a pile of papers.

"W-Well, it looks like we're out of time! This has been your host and guest star Louis Tomlinson! Be sure to check out his new single!" The broadcast light switched off and Louis let out a large sigh as he sat back in his uncomfortable chair. That had almost been a disaster. He'd managed to come up with an excuse but he knew management wouldn't be happy with him. Louis didn't even remember meeting Eleanor, she just kind of appeared.

Louis took his headphones off and hopped off of his barstool, popping his back. He had been slouching most of the interview so now his back was sore. He approached his agent who had a frown on his face.

"Louis..."

"Aye, I did pretty good, didn't I?" He smirked, adjusting his shoulders as he put his hands in his pockets. "That was a bloody good save I will admit."

"That's not the point. Remember you met Eleanor at a signing? She was having a shoot nearby and dropped by to say hello. From there it just clicked." His agent raised his eyebrows and folded his arms.

"How am I supposed to remember that?" Louis folded his arms as well. "You and management make me memorize fake stories that are so Shakespeare worthy I hardly remember which things actually happened."

"Do better to remember them next time. Write them on your arm if you have to." He looked at his clipboard and wrote something. "You have the rest of today to relax then we're going to Nottingham tomorrow morning. Do any sightseeing or frolicking with Eleanor you want, just be in the bus by seven AM sharp."

A devious look came on Louis' face. "So you're saying I can stay out all night?"

"As I said." He said walking away. Louis grinned and trailed behind. The fans were still to the sidelines screaming and Louis was in a much better mood now. He took pictures and gave autographs to them, only increasing the volume of their cheers. He skipped cheerfully back to the bus where he hopped up the stairs and was met with an angry Eleanor staring at him.

He forced his expression to go neutral but his eyebrows were raised attempting to hide his smile. "What's wrong love?"

"You forgot when we met." She said it more as a statement than a question. Louis sighed, putting his chipper mood to the side and sliding onto the seat next to Eleanor.

"I'm tired so you can't blame me."

She sighed. "I suppose not."

He noticed the frustration in her voice and bit the inside of his lip. There was an earsplitting silence between them for longer than Louis liked. He tapped his fingers on his legs, eager to go do something to release some steam.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asked.

"A little, but not much."

Louis smiled and took Eleanor's hand in his own. "Say, how about you and I go get a pastry? My treat."

She blinked. "Really? But aren't you busy today?"

"Nope, I'm free the rest of the day." He gave her an invigorating smile and kissed her gently. "Get dressed and we'll go."

She nodded. "Okay."

XxX

Louis had requested they have their own car to lower the risks of being noticed. His agent was a bit hesitant to turn him loose but got him the car nonetheless, and Louis drove Eleanor around town. They spent a good amount of time sight-seeing before they spotted a bakery. It was the only bakery they had seen so Louis parked in the parking lot and opened the door for Eleanor. She smiled at him and they headed inside.

When they walked in it was fairly crowded, but no one seemed to recognize them. Louis was looking at the menu while Eleanor quietly stood next to him.

"What do you want?" He asked. Eleanor shrugged.

"You choose. I'll be right back."

Louis raised his eyebrow as she walked away. Well, if she didn't care he was going to pick something he liked.

He got to the front and Louis looked at the cashier over the glass case. She was an older lady and looked slightly in a bad mood, but Louis' own mood was beginning to waver so he sympathized with her.

"I'll have two apple strudels." He said. She nodded and looked at a boy that was crouching down behind the class case.

"Harry, will you get those for him?" She asked. He reached into the case and picked them up with a napkin, standing up afterwards and he froze as his eyes fell on Louis.

Louis' gaze trailed from the women to the boy, seeing his appearance a smile unknowingly made its way onto his lips. He had curly brown hair and green eyes that shone with wonder. He slowly handed Louis the bag he had put the strudels into.

"U-Uh," He cleared his throat. "Here."

Louis took them and nodded. "Thanks." He reached in his pocket for his wallet while Eleanor came bounding back to him and wrapped her arms around his.

"You ready, Lou?"

"Almost Eleanor." He answered, giving her a quick peck on the lips to make her be quiet. He swore he saw the boy frown, but ignored it as he held money out to him and raised his eyebrows. The boy glared at the money before taking it and giving Louis back his change.

"Thanks curly." He said, giving the boy a wink, walking away with a smirk on his face. The boy looked appalled, but Louis had no time to look back and cherish his expression for Eleanor stole his attention away.

They chose a small table in the corner of the bakery, deciding to play it safe. There were limited tables in the bakery already, but they didn't want to make a scene in a small store such as this. Louis listened to Eleanor speak of her modeling agency and how recently it was being unfair. He only could nod absentmindedly as his eyes kept trailing back to the curly-haired boy at the counter. He intrigued Louis - he seemed so young but at the same time he didn't. Not to mention Louis found him charming. Dare he even say he was attractive.

Louis wasn't one to only restrict himself to a specific gender. Eleanor was his current girlfriend because of his impulse. But now, he was beginning to feel like Eleanor was more a burden to be taken care of rather than his girlfriend. He always imagined relationships to be equal but now he wasn't so sure what a relationship was anymore. He knew you had to find the person attractive, and it just so happened that he found the innocent-green-eyed cashier attractive.

Louis sighed. He needed Eleanor to leave so he had a chance to go talk to the boy. He was going to go by what Zayn had told him. Listen to yourself.

If Louis came out of this still sane and dignified, he would thank Zayn later.

"Louis, I'll be right back." Eleanor excused herself, standing up and walking to the bathroom. Louis watched her leave, slightly shocked at the irony of the situation. Apparently fate really wanted him to listen to himself.

Louis slowly stood up, feeling the nerves of what he was about to do kick in. He had never been one to believe in coincidences, but maybe Zayn was right. So many people were controlling his life and events that he needed to do things for himself once in a while. He approached the front counter slowly, observing the boys movements. He was tapping his legs up and down rapidly. He didn't seem to notice Louis yet, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Louis leaned his arms on the glass and stared at the boy. Eventually, his head snapped up.

"Can I help you?" He said sharply. Once the words left his mouth he almost looked mortified, it amused Louis.

"I've never seen someone quite as attractive as you before." He said, disregarding his question. If he was going to be sassy, Louis would give him sass right back. The boy's mouth opened in stupor and Louis had to hold back a gratifying grin.

"Um...excuse me?"

"You heard me." Louis couldn't contain the smile that slowly formed. "Are you single?" It couldn't hurt to ask.

"You're not so why does it matter?" He shot back. Ouch, so he had paid attention to that small detail.

"It was just a question." Louis said, sliding closer to him. He was admiring the boys' features. The soft brown curls, bright green eyes, smooth skin, lustrous lips...Louis was having a hard time focusing on what he had originally intended to accomplish. He couldn't get over the boys' hair - he himself had always had straight hair so he didn't have much to work with. "I've never seen such fascinating hair as yours. Is it natural?"

"Is this how you always talk to people?" The boy asked. He almost sounded offended but Louis wanted to believe that wasn't the case.

"Touchy I see." Louis said, interlacing his fingers. "Well, I was going to ask-"

"Lou-bear!" Eleanor exclaimed, interrupting him. He cursed her internally but he plastered a smile on his face, extending his arms out to her. She hugged him and pulled away, a large smile on her face. "We still have all day. I want to look around the town more."

"Alright, whatever you want." He kissed her and cursed every second of it. How he would like the boy to be in her place instead. He broke away and saw the boy had a look of disgust on his face. So maybe he was repelling him more than attracting him. Damn.

Louis slung his arm over Eleanor's shoulders, feeling slightly awkward as she was just about as tall as him. "Well, it was nice talkin' to you curly. I'll see you later." Before he turned to leave, he winked for good measure. He swore he saw the boys face turn the faintest touch of pink and he smiled to himself. He and Eleanor exited the bakery and Louis made a mental note of the name.

He would definitely be returning soon.

3 Days Later

Harry walked in the school the next day and was instantly mauled by Niall. He shoved his phone in Harry's face and he was still startled. He blinked, seeing Louis on the screen. He scrunched his eyebrows and looked at Niall.

"What's this?"

"Louis' charity performance in Nottingham." He grinned. "I figured you would still be interested in your secret admirer so I took it upon myself to research a little about him."

Harry shoved Niall's phone back into his chest. He took it as Harry stalked off, his hands in his pockets and his head low. Niall caught up to him.

"Wait, Harry, what's wrong?"

"I want to forget about him. It was nothing." He growled. Niall raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, who said something to you?"

"No one," Harry stopped at his locker and looked at his friend, "I just want to forget about it. Louis is a famous singer who has a girlfriend, tons of fans, and lots of money. He wouldn't remember someone like me so why should I remember him?"

Niall frowned as he watched Harry put his books in his locker. He shut it and looked at Niall.

"Look, I'm sorry for snapping, but I don't want to get my hopes up for something that isn't realistic."

"Yeah, I understand." Niall said quietly. His face instantly brightened and he threw his arm around Harry's shoulder.

"Say then, how about we go to the shopping center today? We can look for cute girls!"

Harry grinned widely. "Niall."

Niall chuckled as he punched Harry's arm. "I'm just jokin' with you. More like I can look for cute girls and you can check out all the guys!"

"There's not any cute ones in this area anyway." Harry pouted as they began walking down the hall. "I've looked."

"Well you're not looking hard enough!" Niall exclaimed. "I'll pick you up around six."

"Who said I even wanted to go?" Harry asked with a smile, looking over at Niall.

"Me, because if not you're going to sit in your room all night and mope." Niall said, leaving no room for Harry to argue.

The bell rang and they both went to math, sitting next to each other and getting out their notebooks. There was no seating chart, so Niall and Harry always sat together. There was only one time at the beginning of the year where they didn't because Niall had been trying to win over a girl. She rudely turned him down and said she had a boyfriend. From then on, Niall nor Harry ever ditched each other for someone else. That was the pact they had made.

After the teacher was done lecturing, they were handed their assignments and they started working on it. Niall had always been good at math, so he quite often ended up helping Harry. He didn't mind though, and Harry liked Niall better as a teacher anyway.

"You need to isolate the x," Niall said, pointing to the variable, "it's anti-social so it doesn't want to be next to anything."

Harry gave Niall a strange look and he grinned. "It's how my mum taught me."

"Weird." Harry commented. "So what do you do after that?"

"Well, that's the basis of the problem. You need to get the number with the variable on one side only, so you would add forty-two to both sides." Niall said as he wrote it down on Harry's paper. "This cancels out one of the numbers and then you subtract forty-two from this side." Niall scribbled down numbers on the paper. "After that, you need to divide and you have your answer." He circled the answer and Harry stared at it. He ran his hand through his curls exasperated.

"I hate this stuff."

Niall smiled. "You almost got it. You just need to practice."

Harry sighed sharply and started on the next problem. He had Niall walk him through it a few more times before he got the hang of it. Soon, Harry was able to do the problems by himself but at a very slow pace. Niall watched him and his eyes trailed up to his face. When Harry was focusing, he bit the inside of his lip and a small crinkle appeared above his eyebrows. Niall found it endearing. Harry felt him staring and looked up.

"Something wrong?"

"No." Niall shook his head quickly. "I was watching you do the problem. You're doing really well." He gave a halfhearted smile.

Harry beamed at the compliment. "Really? Thanks Niall, you're the one who has helped me though."

He dismissed Harry with a wave of his hand as he sat back. "Nah, it's no biggie." He glanced at the clock and saw they only had twenty minutes left. Niall started working on his own worksheet and soon finished. Harry glanced over and scowled.

"Not fair." Niall looked at Harry then to his paper then back to Harry. He grinned and poked his cheek.

"Practice, my friend."

Harry chuckled and shooed his hand away. The bell rang and they gathered their things, walking out the door. They were having small talk when Liam approached them.

"Hey Liam!" Niall greeted with a fist-bump. "Where's the girly-friend?"

"She felt ill this morning. I'm going to see her after school."

Harry and Niall cast each other a glance then gave Liam a cheeky look. "Aww."

Liam laughed. "Shut it, you two. Care to come with?"

"Nah, Har-bear and I are going to the shopping center." Niall grinned and Harry rolled his eyes.

"I told you I hate that nickname."

"You make fun of my name all the time!" Niall exclaimed. They started to banter but Liam separated them with his arms.

"Okay you two stop with the lovers quarrel," Liam chided. Harry didn't catch the look Niall shot at Liam and he quickly changed the topic. "I'll talk to you two later, I have to get to chemistry."

"See ya Liam!" Niall called out as he left. He was silent after that and Harry cast him a look.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked. Niall didn't answer immediately, instead he gave Harry a half-hearted smile.

"Don't worry about me so much, yeah? I'll see you at six." He smiled and walked off leaving Harry in front of the door of his next class.

As Harry walked in his class, he noted Niall was acting a bit strange this morning. From researching Louis Tomlinson to his mood swings there was definitely something going on. He made a mental note to ask Niall again later and request that he answers honestly.

XxX


	4. Chapter 4

XxX

A knock sounded on the door and Harry jumped up from the kitchen table, running to the front door. He opened it and saw Niall smiling.

"Hey Haz, you ready?"

"Yeah, let me grab my pullover." Harry moved to the side to let Niall in, running up to his room. He closed the door and stood in the doorway and Anne came around the corner.

"Oh Niall! I didn't know you'd be coming over!"

"Yeah, Harry and I are going to the shopping center." He replied.

Anne smiled. "I'm glad, Harry's seemed to be down these past few days. Do you know what's going on?"

"It's a long story, I'm sure he'll tell you sometime." Niall said. He didn't want to tell Anne just in case Harry wanted to keep it a secret, which he didn't know why he would want to. Harry came running down the stairs with his shoes still untied. Anne gave him a look and he grinned at her.

"I'm tying them, don't worry."

She simply shook her head and walked into the kitchen. Harry sat on the stairs and proceeded to tie his shoes. Niall leaned against the door.

"Does your mum know about Louis?"

Harry paused and looked up at Niall. "No, why?"

"She just asked me if something was wrong is all." He flashed a smile to Harry. "Ready yet?"

Harry finished tying his shoes and nodded. They headed out the door and jumped in the car; Niall put the key in the ignition and started the car. He drove out of the neighborhood and Harry turned on the radio. He surfed the channels for a second before he stopped on a station that was actually playing music. He lifted his eyebrow at the song - he didn't recognize it.

Niall glanced over at Harry. "This is Louis Tomlinson."

Harry gave Niall a look of bewilderment. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I thought you'd know all of his songs by now." He grinned and Harry rolled his eyes with a smile.

"What's it called?"

"No Control." Niall answered. "It's not a song with much depth but it's catchy."

Harry sat back and listened to it. He had to admit Louis had a nice voice - he had a wide range and good pitch but he wasn't sure about how he was live. He thought back to earlier today when Niall handed him the video of the charity concert at Nottingham. If he watched that, it would give him a good idea of what he sounded like live.

Waking up

Beside you I'm a loaded gun

I can't contain this anymore

I'm all yours

I got no control, no control

Powerless

And I don't care it's obvious

I just can't get enough of you

The pedal's down, my eyes are closed

No control

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Interesting song."

Niall shrugged. "It's been on the top ten hits for weeks now. If it gets money then that's all that matters to them. I personally think you're a much better singer than he is."

Harry gave Niall a look. "No way."

"Yeah way! If you and Louis Tomlinson had a sing-off you would so win."

"I haven't sung in ages," Harry whined. "I doubt it."

Niall laughed and pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center. He and Harry got out of the car and went inside. They saw lots of people walking around and even spotted some of their classmates but they didn't bother to say hi.

"So why are we here again?" Harry questioned, putting his hands in his pockets.

"To get you out and about so you're not locked in your room overthinking." Niall grinned. "There's something I want to buy real quick, do you mind?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I actually needed to get something too."

"Great, let's go then!"

XxX

Niall had been hungry so he and Harry got some food from the food court. Their bags were set on the table right next to them as they ate in silence.

Harry watched Niall eat. He was uncharacteristically quiet for being the perky hyper boy he usually was. He slowly set his fork down and Niall looked at him.

"Something wrong?"

"You're quiet today." Harry stated.

Niall gave him a halfhearted smile. "Yeah, I've just been tired lately. That's all."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Anything else on your mind?"

Niall hesitated. Harry knew there was something bothering him but he wasn't admitting to it. He waited patiently as Niall fidgeted in his seat.

"Well, Louis Tomlinson. There's something you should know."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "What about him?"

Niall took a deep breath. "He...well, let's just say Eleanor isn't his girlfriend."

"...That makes no sense."

Niall sighed and sat back in the chair. "I know...I don't want to get your hopes up since you wanted to drop the topic. I don't think I should-"

"Niall," Harry interrupted him, setting his hand on his arm, "I'm asking because I want to know. I'm not getting my hopes up, I already told you that."

"Yeah." Niall muttered. He looked off in the distance. "Just, don't fall in love with him okay? He could end up disappointing you."

Harry raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. So that's all that was bothering Niall was Louis Tomlinson? Maybe he knew more about him than Harry did - no, he had to or else he wouldn't be so worried.

"You done?" Niall asked, gesturing to his food. Harry nodded and they both stood up, getting their trays. Harry took a step but misjudged where the leg of the chair was, tripping on it, expecting to face-plant onto the ground. A pair of arms wrapped around him and both trays clattered to the ground, bringing the attention of nearby people. Harry looked up to see Niall's apprehensive gaze.

"You alright?" He asked breathless. Harry blinked before he shied away from Niall's retention, fixing his pullover.

"Yeah...but there's food everywhere." Harry said surveying the ground. They both stared at it for a moment before Niall cracked a grin.

"That's alright, they'll clean it up."

Harry gave him a look. "We're not leaving it."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Such a Samaritan." He leaned down to pick up the tray and Harry couldn't help but smirk.

Niall was a dork.

XxX

They were now driving home and it had started to rain. The window-wipers were moving across the windshield slowly and Harry watched them disinterestedly as he stared out the front with his chin resting on the palm of his hand. The radio was playing softly and Niall was humming along. Harry closed his eyes and smiled. He had always liked it when Niall sang and played along with his guitar as well. His voice was soothing.

One thing kept coming back into Harry's thoughts. Why was Niall so wary about Louis Tomlinson? Did he have a big secret that only few knew about? What did he mean by Eleanor wasn't his girlfriend? He frowned, tempted to pull out his phone and search him on the Internet, but he would wait until he wasn't with Niall.

"Hey Haz," Niall looked over at him. "Did you want to come over to my place for a bit? My parents aren't home."

"Yeah, let me call my mum." Harry unlocked his phone and for a split second was tempted to pull up the Internet, but clicked on the phone icon instead. He dialed his mother and she answered after a few rings.

"Harry, where are you?"

"With Niall. He wants me to come over."

"This late?"

Harry glanced at the clock in the car. "It's hardly eight."

"Well it is a school night. Try to be home by ten, okay?"

"'Kay, thanks mum." He hung up and looked at Niall. "She said yes."

Niall smiled. "Awesome." He took a left at the street where Harry would turn right. They only lived a few blocks away from each other, so they could walk to each other's houses unless they were going somewhere afterwards. Niall usually drove because Harry shared a car with Gemma - and she was gone more than half of the time.

Niall pulled into the driveway and parked the car. He and Harry hopped out and Niall grabbed his bags from the back seat before they ran into the house. They slipped their shoes off and Niall went to put the bags up in his room while Harry went into the kitchen.

Minutes later, Niall slid into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Harry watched amusedly as Niall pulled out food and set it on the counter.

"We literally just ate." Harry grinned.

"I'm still hungry!" Niall said, throwing random food together and putting it in the microwave. Harry watched with an eyebrow raised as he took it out and began eating once it was done cooking. Niall offered him some but Harry waved his hand to decline. Niall continued eating until he was done, he shot up from his seat and went into the living room.

"Harry! Come here!"

He sighed as he stood up and went into the living room. Niall had his guitar resting on his leg as he was tuning it. He looked up and smiled. "I'm writing a new song."

"Yeah?" Harry asked. "What's this one about?"

"Not too sure yet." Niall picked up a piece of paper and glanced over it. "I don't have much written, but do you want to hear what I have?"

"Of course." Harry sat on the chair across from Niall, his full attention on him. Niall cleared his throat and began playing. Harry watched his fingers glide across the strings. The song was slow and Harry closed his eyes, listening to the soothing melody.

I'm like a crow on a wire

You're the shining distraction that makes me fly, oh

Niall glanced up at Harry and smiled.

I'm like a boat on the water

You're the raise on the waves that calm my mind

Oh, every time

Niall paused before his posture relaxed and he sat straight. Harry started clapping slowly.

"That was beautiful, Niall."

He laughed. "Thanks. I don't know what to write next though, I'm stumped!"

Harry went and sat next to Niall and took the paper from him, looking over it. "Well, what's the song about?"

Niall pursed his lips. "I'm not too sure yet. Just someone that is very calming to be around and is always happy. Brings out the good in everyone, you might say. Everyone is amazed by their kindness." He looked at his feet and fidgeted with his guitar strings, plucking them aimlessly. Harry held out a finger.

"Well, this person has to be one of a kind, right?"

Niall looked over at Harry and nodded.

"Then putting it into more specific terms, they could be a star in your life since they're always shining with happiness. There's not people like that too often."

"Yeah," Niall muttered. "or some people are never consistent."

Harry mulled for a few moments before his eyes widened. "I got it, they're not a constant star, since stars are always changing."

"What rhymes with star?" Niall laid back on the couch, putting pressure on his forehead.

"Uh...bar, car..." Harry paused, "that's about all I got."

Niall laughed. "Brilliant, Harry. I would've never thought of those."

Harry glared at him, but it was all in good fun. They sat in silence for a while before Niall started humming the melody.

"Heart..." He muttered. "And I know in my heart, you're not a constant star..." Niall suddenly sat up, startling Harry. He almost fell off the couch but Niall grabbed the paper from him and viciously scribbled something down.

"There." He smiled and Harry looked over his shoulder once he had steadied himself. Niall set the paper in his lap and he began playing his guitar again.

"And I know in my heart, you're not a constant star." As Niall finished, he had a large smile on his face. Harry smiled as well.

"It's brilliant."

Niall grinned. "Thanks to you. I've been stuck for ages!"

Harry took the compliment positively, but he didn't say anything. It was Niall's song so he didn't want to take credit for anything. He laced his fingers and listened as Niall started from the beginning until it ended. He was quiet for a long time until Harry looked at him.

"Something the matter?" Harry asked quietly.

Niall didn't say anything. He looked at Harry and pressed his lips together, letting his eyes trail around Harry's features. They landed on his lips and he slowly swallowed the nerves that were beginning to build.

His eyes trailed back up to Harry's green eyes which looked puzzled but calm. Harry didn't know about Niall's crush on him. Liam did, but Harry didn't. He had wanted to keep it that way, but it was slowly getting harder to deny the feelings he was having. He had tried so hard to convince himself and Harry that he liked girls but couldn't bring himself to believe it. He was in love with his best friend.

And he didn't want to be.

"I should get you home," Niall said bitterly. He stood up, setting the guitar on the couch gently. Harry's eyes followed Niall's figure to the kitchen where he put on his coat. He looked at Harry with a solemn expression. "Ready?"

"Yeah," Harry answered slowly. He knew Niall was definitely acting weird today and it didn't just have to do with Louis Tomlinson.

The ride back to Harry's house was silent. Harry felt like they hadn't been conversing much lately, it had all been unspoken words and actions that were telling each other the answers. Niall pulled into Harry's driveway and didn't look at him immediately.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Harry inquired hopefully. He didn't like to see Niall like this - it made him feel like he had done something wrong.

"Yeah." Niall smiled and then looked at Harry. They gazed at each other until Harry broke the stare, jumping out of the car into the pouring rain. He ran to his front porch and watched as Niall drove away.

One Month Later

It had been a month since Louis walked into the bakery and saw the curly haired boy - a month since he'd been stuck in his mind. He tapped his foot impatiently along with his fingers. He was watching a choreography routine that was required for his next concert. The steps weren't difficult, he was just too lazy to do it.

"Tomlinson, pay attention!"

"I am." He whined. His choreographer scrunched his nose and got into position.

"Five, six, seven, eight!"

The music started and he began doing steps and twirls Louis couldn't comprehend. His mind was elsewhere, or more specifically on the boy. He swore he'd heard his name at the bakery - it was eating Louis alive to not remember. What was it, Henry? Harlan? Hagrid?

He huffed in agitation.

"Tomlinson, eyes up here!" His choreographer snapped. Louis rolled his eyes and stood up from the chair he was sitting on.

"Nah, I'm taking a water break!" He waved as he walked away and his choreographer protested. He walked out into the hallway and slid down against the wall. He had lied, he wasn't thirsty, he had just wanted to escape the pressure that was being put on him. He was tired and stressed - not to mention he hadn't had a good shower for weeks and he felt disgusting.

"What was his damn name..." Louis leaned his head back against the wall. He laced his fingers through his brunette hair and sighed deeply. He couldn't even remember the name of the bakery after he told himself to ingrain it in his brain. Everything the past few weeks was muddled in his mind. He had so much on his plate that he could hardly function anymore.

He heard footsteps walk out of the door and saw his agent frown at the sight of him. He bent down next to him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"You doing okay?"

"No." He said sharply. "I'm tired and angry."

"Most teenagers are." He said. Louis glared at him.

"I don't need your sass right now. I want a break."

His agent sighed. "How long?"

"Until I feel better again."

"Then that'll be a while." He said comically. Louis rolled his eyes and let his hands drop into his lap.

"One week, that's all I'm asking."

His agent sighed and sat next to him. "I'll see what I can do. But, will you promise me that you'll do this last concert?"

Louis didn't answer immediately. It was Tuesday and he had another charity concert on Friday, meaning he had to only go through three more days of rigorous schedules and have tons of energy before he could have a break. He nodded, he could do this.

His agent smiled. "Alright. Thanks for being a cooperative lad." He patted him on the shoulder and stood up. "Now, come do the choreography! You were sitting and watching for an hour after all!"

Louis groaned. Not that he had been paying attention, but his agent didn't need to know that. A sudden thought came to his mind.

"Wait! I actually have a favor..."

XxX


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all the comments/kudos! :)

XxX

It was Saturday. An entire month had passed since the bakery incident. Niall had long forgotten about the subject and was happy again. There no longer seemed to be a strain in their friendship and things were going well for Harry. He was happy, content, and had moved on.

He was staring at his phone screen absentmindedly until he heard the bell hanging on the door ring. He slowly looked up and his eyes instantly widened. Before the person spotted him, he darted to the back, knocking over the barstool on the way. It landed on the floor with a loud clatter and he ran into his manager gaping like a fish.

"Harry, what's wrong?" She asked quizzically. He tried to form words with his mouth but all he could do was point to the door. She scowled at Harry and looked out the door into the main part of the bakery. She slowly nodded with her mouth forming into an 'o'. She looked back at Harry and grinned - making a look of horror cross his face - and walked out, clapping her hands together.

"Hello sir, how may I help you?" She asked, holding a smile back.

"Hi...I'm looking for someone. I was wondering if he works here."

"What's his name?"

"I don't know," he said slowly, "but he has curly brown hair, green eyes..."

"Excuse me for a moment." She walked into the back and put her hands on her hips. "Harry."

"What?" He whined. "Tell him I don't want to talk to him!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Why not? He's looking for you, the least you could do is go an see what he wants."

"It's a mistake!" Harry protested. She gave him a look and forcefully pushed him out to the front.

His blood ran cold as Louis Tomlinson's eyes rested on him.

"Hey." Louis breathed. His gaze glimmered with something Harry couldn't decipher.

Harry was speechless. He tried to form words but his brain and mouth were both frozen. Louis raised an eyebrow.

"You do remember me...right?"

"Y-Yeah..." Harry fumbled. He shook his head to try and organize his thoughts. "Just...what are you...doing here?"

"I came to find you." Louis leaned on the glass. "I haven't gotten you off my mind since last time I saw you."

Harry wasn't sure whether to be sufficiently creeped out or flattered. To be honest, he hadn't been able to get Louis off of his mind either but he had chosen to move on since the chances of ever seeing him again were below negative. He had accepted that but now...

He was fully expecting the moon to crash down again.

"How did you...find me?" Harry still couldn't comprehend what was happening. He had thousands of questions running through his mind.

"Well, I remembered I was in Holmes Chapel last month for a radio interview and I ran into this cute curly haired boy in a bakery." He pursed his lips and looked down. "I wanted to introduce myself properly so I requested another interview here so I would have a reason to come back." He flashed a grin at Harry and he blinked.

Harry had absolutely no idea what was going on. Did the Louis Tomlinson seriously come back just for that?

"So," Louis started, "my name is Louis Tomlinson. What's yours?"

"Harry," He answered slowly, "Harry Styles."

Louis nodded mulling. "I see, Harry Styles, I need to ask you something."

Harry looked at him skeptically. "What?"

"I was wondering if I could have your number." He cast Harry a charming smile.

"Uh...why?"

Louis gave him a look. "Because I want it?"

"What about your girlfriend?" He questioned. Louis averted his gaze and shifted his weight.

"Eleanor-" He paused, "She's...not around."

"Why?" Harry raised a brow.

"Modeling." Louis dismissed. He leaned forward on the glass again. "So, is that a yes?"

Harry frowned. What was Louis trying to accomplish? Was there some underlying motive that he was getting at? Was Harry being pranked and was supposed to fall for it?

"Why are you here?" Harry opted to ask instead. He really was curious.

"Because I wanted to see you again." Louis answered honestly.

"Why?"

"You ask a lot of questions." Louis chuckled. "And because I find you intriguing. I want to get to know you."

Harry was torn. He wasn't sure whether to trust if Louis was telling the truth or this was all some huge set-up. Forget that Louis was attractive, his fame was way over his head and he was insincere. Harry didn't want to like someone like that.

"Say this, you come to my radio interview with me and think about it." Louis raised his eyebrows.

"But I'm working." Harry said as if it were obvious.

"No, you got off half an hour ago." His manager walked out from the back. "Go with him." His eyes widened and she gave him a wink, walking to the other end of the counter. Louis gave him a hopeful grin.

Harry sighed. "How long will it be?"

"An hour at most." Louis answered. "Now come on, it starts in ten." He gestured his head towards the door and waited for Harry to take off his apron and grab his things. He stumbled after Louis and was surprised to see no one else in the car.

"Why isn't there anyone around?" Harry questioned as he got into the vehicle with Louis.

"Because no one knows I'm here." He cast him a smirk and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. Harry's anticipation grew - his trust for Louis was slowly going down the drain. Were they even going to an interview or was all of this still part of a prank?

Harry was tense the entire ride there and luckily Louis didn't speak to him. They drove past crowds of screaming fans and Harry was appalled by the chaos. There were bodyguards standing everywhere as well as police officers controlling the crowds. Was this all because of Louis?

"Unless you want to get mauled, we have to sneak through the back." Louis said parking the car behind the building. Harry was still skeptical but they ran to the building and through the back door. As they got inside, Louis instantly stood up straight and walked confidently down the halls. Harry trailed behind him, feeling more awkward and apprehensive as they passed by more and more people.

He and Louis went into a door on the left where the recording studio was. A man - who Harry presumed was of importance - stormed up to them shortly after.

"Where have you been?" He demanded.

"No time to explain. Harry Styles, this is my agent. Acquaint yourselves. I will be back." Louis clicked his tongue as he cheerfully skipped into the studio, greeting the interviewer and putting a set of headphones on. The broadcast light switched on and Harry fiddled with the bottom of his pullover nervously.

"So, Harry Styles," His agent spoke slowly and Harry snapped his gaze up. "how do you know Louis?"

"Um...we met last month while I was working in the bakery. He and his girlfriend came in and he just sort of...talked to me." Harry's eyebrows furrowed.

Louis's agent raised his brow. "You met once? Did you keep in contact afterwards?"

"No," He shook his head, trying to find a clear explanation, "I'm surprised he even remembers me."

"So you don't know him at all?" His agent pressed. He was probably just as confused as Harry was. Louis's intentions were unclear and Harry wasn't sure he wanted to understand them. He was hoping that this was all some big dream and he'd wake up any second.

"No, sir."

He sighed. "That boy. I could have you arrested for being here," Harry's heart dropped, "but I'm not going to do that. Louis obviously has a reason or he wouldn't have brought you here. For now, go sit down and we'll deal with this after his interview."

Harry could tell he seemed irked but he was keeping his cool for now. Harry was seriously confused beyond all reason. The fact that Louis had come back after a month - and even remembered him - was appalling. He almost felt the type of excitement like when a crush would finally notice you in the hallways - but Harry quickly crushed those feelings. He slowly made his way to a chair and sat down, pulling out his phone.

To: Nialler

Louis Tomlinson came into the bakery again.

His reply was instant.

From: Nialler

WHAATTTT ??!?!?! Harry what happened ???

To: Nialler

I have no idea what's going on. He came in and said he came back because he was interested in me and now I'm at his radio interview.

From: Nialler

Do u need me to come pick you up ??

To: Nialler

No, Louis wanted me to wait for him. His agent is angry and wants to set things straight so I at least owe him that.

From: Nialler

Ok....but if you need my help i'll seriously pick you up !

To: Nialler

thanks .x

Harry was about to put his phone back in his pocket but it buzzed again.

From: Nialler

So like he just randomly came back ??

To: Nialler

Yeah

From: Nialler

Wow.... um Harry are you sure he's not a stalker ?

To: Nialler

Hah ! I don't think so. Why would he be interested in someone like me?

From: Nialler

I already told u the answer to that. Keep me updated though , ok ?

To: Nialler

I will x

This time Harry put his phone away. Niall was probably now worried out of his mind but Harry wanted to tell someone what happened in case he got kidnapped or something. He anxiously tapped his foot as he watched Louis in the other room. He seemed chipper as he answered each question and laughed at something humorous, responding with a witty comeback.

About half an hour had passed and Louis was finally finished. He shook hands with the interviewer and hopped out of the studio with a large smile on his face. He approached Harry.

"How'd I do?"

"I don't know, I couldn't hear you." He answered. Louis's expression dropped but he didn't have time to dwell since his agent suddenly put his hand on Louis's shoulder.

"You two, dressing room. Now."

Harry followed behind Louis and his agent closely as they walked down the halls. His agent unlocked a room that had a sign on the door that said Louis Tomlinson and let them in. Louis went and sat on the nearest couch while Harry stood awkwardly to the side.

"Alright, now that we can elaborate." His agent clapped his hands together after he closed the door. "What is going on?"

"Just the blooming of a beautiful friendship." Louis said, putting his legs on the table. His agent was tempted to hit him upside the head.

"I'm being serious, Louis. What do you think you're doing?"

"Involving my fans, what do you think?" Louis gave him a look.

"I'm not a fan," Harry interjected, "I didn't even know who you were until you came into the bakery."

Louis feigned offense but his agent cut in. "It doesn't matter whether you're a fan or not. My question is to you, Louis, what is his purpose?"

"He's simply a spectator in all this madness. Quite the unfortunate fellow he is."

His agent frowned. "Louis, tell me the truth."

Louis averted his gaze. "All of this is a waste of time. I like him a lot." He cast Harry a gaze and he looked away embarrassed.

"Louis, you know you can't pull a stunt like this. Why are you doing this?"

"Because he seems kind." Louis said, determination shining in his eyes. "I'm tired of my relationship."

His agent let out an exasperated huff. "Is this why you requested another interview in Cheshire?"

Louis pursed his lips and slowly looked away. His agent rolled his eyes.

"This is unacceptable, Louis. You can't make impulsive decisions like that."

"Is there something I can do then?" Louis raised a brow challengingly. "If so, please enlighten me."

Needless to say, Louis's agent wasn't pleased. Harry was paid to forget that anything had ever happened and they requested that he go home without any fuss. Before he walked out the door, Louis grabbed him from behind and slipped a small piece of paper in his pocket.

"Text me something only we would know so I know it's you," He whispered into Harry's ear. Louis's breath tickled his neck and sent shivers up his spine. His agent pulled Louis away and Harry was escorted home by one of the bodyguards.

He had texted his mother previously to tell her that he was being driven home and he would explain everything once he got there. He also texted Niall to tell him to come over so he could explain everything. A few minutes later he was dropped off and his mother, Gemma, and Niall were all standing on the porch with worried expressions. Harry blundered out a "thank you" before he ran to his porch. His mother embraced him tightly.

"What on earth happened?" She questioned. He sent Niall a wary glance.

"Let's go inside."

Harry had to explain from the very beginning for his mother and Gemma so they would understand that this wasn't some random occurrence. Niall, of course, already knew, so he listened silently as Harry elaborated. He went through the events of tonight and the three were more confused than when he had started the story.

"Wait, so you're saying Louis Tomlinson kidnapped you and forced you to come to his interview?"

"He didn't kidnap me." Harry sent Gemma a look.

"But you went unwillingly, right?" Niall asked.

"If he went then it wasn't unwillingly." Gemma commented, looking at her nails. Both boys glared at her.

"They paid me to forget that anything ever happened," Harry took the bundle of cash out from his pocket, "but I don't want it." He pushed it to Anne and she looked at it uncertainly. Gemma took the rubber band off of it and started counting the money.

"So you don't know why he took you with him?" Niall asked.

"He said he wanted to get to know me and that he fancies me." Harry said. "Which I don't understand because he has a girlfriend."

Niall leaned back in his chair uncomfortably. Anne put her hand on Harry's back. "It's okay Harry, like his agent said, forget about it."

"But how could I? You don't randomly meet a celebrity then have them show up a month later with the same intentions they had in the first place." Harry barked. "I'm going up to my room." He hopped off from the chair and raged upstairs. They all heard his door slam shut and it was silent. Gemma finished counting the money and her eyes widened.

"Three-thousand pounds just to keep quiet? This Louis guy is loaded!"

"Three-thousand?" Niall said incredulously. They really must've wanted Harry to keep this on the low-down or they wouldn't have paid him such a big amount. He looked to where Harry retreated and frowned. "I'm gonna go see if he's okay."

Anne nodded and Niall made his way up the stairs. He stood in front of Harry's door and knocked softly.

"Haz, it's me. I'm coming in."

He opened the door and found Harry sitting on his bed frowning. He had changed out of his work clothes that were now sprawled across the floor near his closet. The light from his phone illuminated his face and Niall crawled on the bed and sat next to him. He didn't say anything at first and let the silence ring through his ears. Eventually, Harry sighed and threw his phone on the bed.

"How do they not expect me to forget? Niall, that's twice he's come into the bakery now. Does that mean he likes me?"

"I couldn't tell ya." Niall shrugged weakly. He didn't have a clear answer to offer. "He probably does."

"I'm so confused." Harry complained, pressing his hand to his forehead. "Before I left he gave me his number and told me to text him."

Niall looked at him. "Are you going to?"

"Probably." Harry shrugged. "That way I'll know if he was just playing a game or not. I'm not expecting him to text back, he probably gets loads every day from fans so there's no way he would ever see mine."

Niall looked down at his lap. "You're right." He looked at the clock on Harry's nightstand. "Hey, I better get going. My parents want to get up early to go visit family." He gave Harry a smile. "See you on Monday?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sorry if I freaked you out today."

Niall chuckled. "No way, I knew you'd be able to handle him." He patted Harry's leg and got up from the bed, walking out of his bedroom.

Harry sat in the silence, the urge to text Louis itching on his fingertips. He slowly pulled the parchment out of his pocket and stared at it. He had Louis Tomlinson's number. This was either the best or worst day of his entire life. It couldn't hurt to text him once, and if he didn't reply, then there had been nothing to lose in the first place.

He slowly typed in the number but then paused. What was he thinking? There was no way Louis was being serious. All of this was a giant prank and everyone wanted Harry to fall for it. He was smarter than that - he wasn't going to text Louis.

He shut his phone off and threw it in his nightstand drawer, walking back downstairs, wanting to forget everything that ever happened.

XxX

The next day had been uneventful. He, Gemma, and his mother had done some grocery shopping and he finished up some homework and played video games afterwards. It was a rather relaxed day, and neither Gemma or his mother had questioned anything about Louis. For that, Harry was grateful, but the fact that the parchment was still in the pocket of his jeans was nagging at him. Harry paused his game and lowered his Nintendo DS. He had this overwhelming impulse to text Louis. He shook his head and tried to focus on his game, but to no avail. His mind kept wandering back to the sassy popstar.

He scoffed.

Harry shut his DS and got up from the couch, wandering into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and stared absentmindedly into it. He blinked a few times before closing it and scanning across the counter. He picked up a peach from the fruit bowl and gazed at it thoughtfully.

If he had to choose a fruit to represent Louis, he would choose a peach. Because Louis was peachy.

Harry dwelt in his own pun before he cursed at himself and set the peach back in the bowl. He was doing himself no good by comparing Louis to a peach. He might as well text him and get it over with. He went up to his room and found the piece of paper in his jeans, turned his phone on, and typed in the number. The insertion point blinked at him mockingly as he was at loss for what to say.

To: (***)-***-****

We don't know each other well enough to have something only we know.

Harry slowly lowered his phone down to his lap. Well, he had done it. Now his subconscious couldn't constantly nag at him to text Louis even though he mostly likely wouldn't get a response. There were a few hours left until he went to sleep anyway, so he wouldn't be plagued with the thought of Louis texting him back. He could go to sleep, forget what happened, and go to school tomorrow like nothing happened.

~-~-~

Harry was curled up in bed and half asleep. His phone vibrated and he vaguely registered that he got a message. Half of him wanted to roll over in bed and ignore it, but the other half was curious. If it was from Niall, he would leave it and read it in the morning.

He rolled over and squinted as the bright screen burned his eyes. He saw it was from an unknown number and his heart rate sped up as he realized who it might be.

From: (***)-***-****

Well frankly we do now :) x

Harry couldn't contain the large smile that made its way onto his face. He inserted Louis's name in his contacts and quickly typed back a reply.

To: Louis

I guess so .x

XxX


	6. Chapter 6

XxX

From: Curly

I guess so .x

Louis smiled. This had to be the best day of his life. Though, he wasn't sure what had made him so impulsive to come back.

He met Harry a month ago and still remembered him. Louis requested another interview in the area so he could go looking for Harry. Honestly, it had been two of the most frustrating hours of his life but had been determined to find him no matter how much trouble he got in. Because when Louis Tomlinson wanted someone, he got them.

It wasn't a coincidence he walked into the bakery that day. The second he saw Harry, he felt a connection. It didn't matter that he was with Eleanor at the time. All he saw in his view was Harry. He had never been so attracted to someone just by first sight. Just being around Harry made all of Louis' inhibitions dissipate. He always felt so insecure of himself but Harry completely wiped away those feelings just within seconds. Louis had never met anyone like him before. He felt these feelings so strongly and was terrified that Harry didn't reciprocate them. But he had to, or else he wouldn't have texted him.

"Louis, lights off." His agent said. They were in the tour bus and Louis was sitting in his bunk. The curtains were draped shut but the light that illuminated from his phone glowed out into the open. Louis rolled his eyes.

He shut off his phone and curled into his blanket. It was a blanket his mother had given him before he went on his first tour. He took it everywhere with him no matter how corny people claimed it was. It was special to him.

Louis couldn't contain his energy. He was still thrilled over the thought that he had finally gotten to see Harry again - and the fact that he had texted Louis. That had to be an indication that something was going right. Louis unlocked his phone and typed out a text.

To: Curly

Are you still awake ??

He impatiently drummed his fingers on his stomach. He wasn't even sure Harry would reply but he couldn't help the anticipation.

The second his phone vibrated, he speedily opened the text.

From: Curly

Barely. Why are you still awake?

To: Curly

Can't sleep :) too busy thinking of you x

Was it too early to be saying things like that to him? Louis contemplated it for a moment before shrugging and waiting for a reply, humming his songs while he was at it.

From: Curly

I'm flattered. But I have school tomorrow. I'll text you then? :)

Louis frowned. School was more important than the Louis Tomlinson? Obviously Harry didn't know whom he was dealing with quite yet.

To: Curly

:( :( fine. Ttyl :)

From: Curly

xx

Louis smiled largely and stared at the text, sighing. He really liked Harry - he was a cheeky boy who was very peaceful. A bit shy, but Louis didn't mind. Harry seemed to be the type of person that needed to warm up to someone before they showed their true colors.

"Louis!" His agent snapped. Louis jumped and his phone slipped out of his hands, smacking right onto his face. He groaned in pain as he held his nose.

"I'm asleep." He said sarcastically, turning on his side. He heard his agent mutter something but Louis ignored it. Since Harry said goodnight Louis could go to sleep - though the mere thought of Harry could get every inch of Louis' body tingling. He made Louis happy again.

He hadn't felt this way in a long time.

XxX

To: Curly

HARRY !!!!!!! ARE U AWAKE ???

Louis had resisted texting Harry all morning. He had gotten up around eight and they were heading to northern England today for a concert he had tonight, meaning he hadn't been able to see Harry before he left. They were driving and he had tried to occupy himself by reading some online fiction or practicing his scales, but nothing was sufficing. He figured Harry was in school so he wouldn't be able to reply immediately. Every so often, Louis checked his phone in case it vibrated and he hadn't heard it.

He was in the middle of the climax of his book when his phone vibrated across the room. He stared at it wide-eyed before diving for it, opening the text.

From: Curly

Yes, Im at school. Srry I can't text much :(

Louis giddily replied, dumping his book to the side.

To: Curly

Thats ok !!! Im so bored, were driving to Glasgow for a concert and i have nothing to do :(

From: Curly

At least youre not in school. Its boring here aswell!

To: Curly

Yeah well have u ever gone on a road trip with only adults ?! Theres no one to entertain me. You should come with me next time !

Louis waited a few moments but there was no reply. He frowned, refreshing his messages. Maybe he had scared Harry by asking him to come with? Louis hadn't seen any harm in it. Had he offended Harry? Did he hate him now?

Louis rolled onto his back and groaned. He hated texting. Someone could easily lie and say that they were doing something they're not. They could be talking behind your back to their friends and then sending sickly sweet texts to you the next moment. The agonizing patience it took to wait for a reply was the worst part. Louis hated waiting.

After what seemed like years, his phone buzzed and he hurriedly opened the text.

From: Curly

Maybe. I dont have a break until half term.

To: Curly

When is that ? :)

From: Curly

October 25th.

To: Curly

Ohhh well maybe you can come with me then :) hows school ??

From: Curly

Just fine. Lots of tests coming up tho so thats not too fun :(

To: Curly

Hehe im glad im not in school anymore X)

From: Curly

Feel lucky. I have to go, Niall says hi .x

Louis glared at the text.

To: Curly

Who the hell is Niall ?!?!

XxX

It was a slow day, but when Louis texted him it made it more bearable. When Harry had finished the quiz he'd been taking and checked his phone, he was shocked to see Louis had texted him. He felt happiness bubble in his chest and couldn't contain a smile. After the class ended, he ran into Niall but hardly registered it was him. They walked to their next class together and Niall bid him goodbye but he didn't notice.

Niall and Harry were at lunch when he was able to check his texts again. He was surprised to see that Louis asked him to come on the next road trip with him. It would be fun, but he wasn't sure he would be able to due to his school schedule.

Niall glanced over at Harry and then glanced down at Harry's phone. "Who're you texting?" He questioned.

"Louis." Harry responded, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

Niall's mouth opened. "Seriously? He texted you back?"

Harry nodded and cast Niall a short glance. "Yeah, but we haven't been texting much. I was tired last night and he just texted me a while ago but I've been in class."

Niall clenched his jaw. Liam and Sophia along with a few other people came and sat down on the opposite side of the table. Harry didn't acknowledge them and Niall gave Liam a look.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Harry's found a new one." He said, raising an eyebrow. Liam nodded slowly. Sophia looked at him confused.

"'A new one'?"

"A new person he fancies." Liam answered. "When it happens he gets super spacey and doesn't pay attention to his surroundings. It's almost like he's in a daydream."

"Oh." Sophia said quietly. She looked at Harry who hadn't taken his eyes off of his phone.

"Haz, are you hungry?" Niall asked. Harry didn't respond and Niall waved his hand in front of his face. "Haz."

"What-What?" Harry shook his head. "No, I'm not hungry. You can go without me." He looked back down at his screen and Niall frowned. He rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Tell Louis I say hi." He said, pressing his lips together. He went to the lunch line and Liam cast Harry an uncertain glance before turning his attention back to his food.

A few minutes later, Niall came back and sat back down with a grim look on his face. He was about to say something to Harry but decided against it. Their table was silent for a long time until Harry snickered. Niall read over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

From: Louis

Who the hell is Niall ?!?!

"You gonna tell 'em?" He asked, slightly bemused. The bell rang in the background and Liam and Sophia said goodbye as they headed to their classes.

Harry shook his head. "Nah, I'll let him suffer for a while." He put his phone back in his knapsack and stood up with Niall. They had casual conversation before they split ways to their classes. Harry walked into the classroom and sat at his desk, pulling out his notebook. His eyes darted around the classroom to locate his teacher. Once he found her and saw she wasn't paying attention, he quickly pulled out his phone and typed a response.

To: Louis

My best friend :) x

Harry was about to put his phone back in his knapsack, but it buzzed.

From: Louis

What does he look like ??

To: Louis

Ill send you a pic later. Im in class.

From: Louis

Naughty boy texting during class ! i might have to punish you ;)

Harry had to resist from snorting or blushing. Mostly both.

To: Louis

Can't wait ;)

XxX

"Is this the real life...is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality..."

"Louis."

"Open your eyes...look up to the skies and seeeeeee-"

"Louis," His agent snapped. "what are you doing?"

He gave his agent a look. "Singing, what does it sound like?"

"What for?"

"Because the budding romance, my friend." Louis flashed a smile and his agent frowned. He continued singing. "I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy!"

"With that voice you do." His agent said. Louis' mouth gaped open in offense and he threw a pillow at him.

"Hey!"

His agent laughed and flipped through papers on his clipboard. "Once we get there we have to do a sound check. You'll have a few hours to meet with fans and chat or relax."

"Hmm, I say relax." Louis set his feet up on the couch, unlocking his phone and going to twitter.

"Any more lazing around and I'll have to send you back to boot camp." His agent said curtly.

"So mean." Louis pursed his lips and typed out a tweet.

Charity concert in Glasgow tonight !! :) :) see you there !

XxX

School finally ended and Harry sighed as he picked up his binder and put it in his knapsack. He walked to his locker and checked his phone on the way. He saw he had a message from Louis and opened it.

From: Louis

Text me when ur done with school :)

He smiled, typing out a reply. Niall came out from his class and approached Harry, leaning against the lockers.

"You busy tonight?" Niall questioned. Harry shook his head.

"Not at all, why?"

"You want to do some homework? I haven't finished the worksheet yet." Niall gave him a hopeful smile but Harry's expression was the opposite.

"I thought you finished it during class."

"Nah, there were a few problems I skipped." He said quickly. "What do you say?"

"Yeah, let me call my mum." Harry said. He dialed Anne's number and put the phone to his ear, listening to it ring. Once she answered, he asked her and she said to be back before it got too late. Harry nodded even though she couldn't see him and hung up, pulling a book out from his locker before he shut it. "Ready?"

Niall nodded and they headed out to his car. Harry trailed behind him, looking around the parking lot. There were other students who also drove, but most of them walked. The range of their school was barely a mile perimeter so only the ones who lived on the outskirts of the boundaries drove, like Niall and Harry. That didn't mean that neither of them had ever walked though. Harry enjoyed the view to and from school to his neighborhood so if his mother or Gemma couldn't ever take him to school he would opt to walk.

The ride was quiet most of the way to Niall's house. He had the radio turned on low and he was driving with one hand on the steering wheel. Harry had just noticed that Niall seemed a bit off today. His mind was elsewhere again and Harry worried that it was because of Louis.

Niall pulled into his driveway and they got out, grabbing their knapsacks and went into the house. Niall's mother greeted them from the kitchen and they went up to Niall's room. Harry walked in and sat on the bed, opening his knapsack out and taking out his math. Niall stalled in the doorway. Harry's eyes swept over to him.

"Something wrong?" He questioned.

Niall avoided his gaze. "No." He sat next to Harry and took out his math. "Have you finished yet?"

"I only have a few problems left." Harry answered. He scooted back so he was leaning against the wall and looked over his paper. Niall watched him closely before doing the same.

"Do you know how to do number twenty-one?" Harry asked.

"It's just like the other ones except it has one more equation added to it," Niall pointed to his paper. "Just do the formula once more for the bottom part."

"Oh, okay." Harry flipped his paper to the front to see the formula he scribbled at the top of the paper. He wrote it on the other side and began finishing the problem. Niall watched and corrected him on a few things as he solved it.

Time elapsed and Niall finished his worksheet but was now watching Harry finish his. He was almost having a déjà vu - watching Harry do his work while he stared at him. Except this time they were in Niall's room and not at school. Niall frowned, looking down at his lap. He wasn't sure how he felt about the whole Louis Tomlinson situation. He honestly felt like it was a terrible idea. There were always lots of rumors surrounding him and it was rare that good news ever surfaced about him. Unfortunately for Harry, he was never in the loop of celebrities so he didn't know any of this. Niall didn't want to be a bad friend to Harry, so he was going to support him no matter what happened.

"Harry, can I ask you something?"

"Go for it."

Niall hesitated. "What...do you think is going to happen?"

Harry gave him a look of confusion. "With what?"

"The whole...Louis Tomlinson situation." Niall said awkwardly. "Like...could this even go anywhere? He's famous and is touring all over and you're just a student."

Harry didn't respond immediately. He spoke slowly. "I don't know. I think for now we're just really good friends."

Niall pursed his lips. It felt like his questions were going in circles since there was never a definite answer. He didn't have much time to dwell on the thought because Harry's phone vibrated and he read it, smiling.

"Louis wants a picture of us, if you don't mind." Harry said. Niall furrowed his eyebrows but shook his head.

Harry went to his camera and gave a toothy smile while Niall offered a half-hearted smile. Harry looked at it before sending it.

"Why does he want a picture?" Niall questioned.

"He wants to know what you look like." Harry answered without looking at him. Niall rolled his eyes and wondered why that could possibly be.

Harry went back to his worksheet and finished only with minor errors. Niall corrected them, so now they were prepared to turn it in tomorrow. They went down to Niall's kitchen and found something to eat, opting to play video games the rest of the night until Harry had to go home. Niall enjoyed spending time with Harry, but he wasn't sure he would like it anymore with Louis constantly texting Harry. There had been a few breaks where Louis was having a sound-check and being interviewed before his concert so he wasn't able to text. That short time frames were very delightful for Niall since Harry didn't pause the game every ten seconds to respond.

Harry on the other hand was very chipper the whole night. He brushed off Niall's strange mood and was living in the moment for how it was. He figured that Niall couldn't be that upset over the Louis situation and it had to be something else as well. He had asked if something was wrong the past day more times than he had the entire month. Harry knew that Niall would eventually get over it whatever it was. He was disappointed when Louis wasn't able to text Harry back and he had to wait a few hours for a response.

Harry was getting into bed when his phone buzzed on his nightstand. He looked at it from across the room before going and opening the text.

From: Louis

Im knackered so im gonna sleep :( im sorry x

To: Louis

Thats alright :) sleep well Lou

From: Louis

You too :) xx

XxX

Over the next couple of weeks Harry had gotten to know Louis significantly better. They told each other things ranging from the color of their toothbrush to the darkest secrets about themselves. Louis' incident had far outweighed Harry's by milestones - Harry and Niall were at a party Niall was hammered and handed Harry a drink accidentally. Harry ended up on his doorstep drunk and his mother hadn't been too happy. That was hardly a year ago, so they had moved on and Niall had been forgiven. But still that was nothing compared to Louis' experience. He had only given Harry minimal details; such as he had shoplifted alcohol and went to a party but ended up getting arrested. That was all he told Harry and refused to give him anymore details. Louis had also mentioned he hated scales - and Harry had a vague feeling that he wasn't talking about the musical term.

There had been a stagnant period of time where Louis had gone days without texting him. Harry would stare endlessly at his phone and would frown when it never lit up with Louis' name. He would try to occupy himself with video games or cooking or cleaning but none of it worked. He didn't know if it was because Louis had been leading him on the whole time or he was overly busy and didn't have the time.

But for now, Harry could say that he was definitely head-over-heels for Louis and craved to see him again. He wasn't sure where Louis was located momentarily since he hadn't texted him back for days, but, the last day before mid-term break when he went to his locker and opened it, his eyes widened as a letter fell to the ground. He picked it up and opened it; Niall had been walking with him and looked over his shoulder. His mouth dropped.

Curly,

Your plane leaves at 5:30. Sorry for such short notice but I wanted to see you over your break :) hope you can come xx

-Louis

"Are you serious?" Niall exclaimed. "He bought you a plane ticket to France? This has to be fake."

Harry was still speechless. Liam and Sophia walked up to them and gave them confused looks.

"Is everything alright?" Liam questioned. Niall snatched the letter from Harry's hands and shoved it in Liam's face. He crossed his eyes but then backed away, taking it from Niall. He read over the note and looked at the plane ticket, slowly raising his gaze up to Harry. Sophia read it and her expression mirrored Liam's.

The four were completely silent since none of them could comprehend what was happening. Harry's voice had gone completely dry and his brain was going in circles. Louis bought him a plane ticket. An actual plane ticket. To France. Louis bought him a plane ticket to France.

"Well are you going?" Liam asked. Niall looked offended as he snatched the letter back.

"Why would he expect him to? He must be pretty cocky if he thinks Harry is going to be his last minute vacation-"

"Yes." Harry interrupted. Niall's expression was indescribable, but it would be somewhere along the lines of disbelief, offense, pain, and complete and utter shock.

"Harry," Niall stammered incredulously, "you can't be serious-"

"I'm going." Harry said blankly. "Niall, could you give me a ride home?"

"No!" Niall protested. "I...I'm not having any part in this."

Harry scowled, gripping the straps of his knapsack. He snatched the ticket out of Niall's hand and shut his locker, walking away. Niall pushed past Liam. "Wait, Harry!"

"What?" He spun around. Niall stopped a few feet behind him.

"Why are you going?" He asked dejectedly. "He just..."

"Why aren't you helping me? I thought you were my friend." Harry interjected, clenching his fist. He turned around and walked away without looking back.

He dialed Gemma's number as a lump in his throat formed. Gemma answered sharply.

"Will you come pick me up?" He croaked.

Gemma paused on the other end. "Haz, are you alright?"

"Um...it's a long story. Will you come get me?"

"Yeah," She said sweetly. "Stay there. I'll be there soon."

Harry stood on the curb and waited, hoping and praying Niall wouldn't run out and try to talk him out of it. He didn't, and true to Gemma's word, she appeared minutes later. Harry hopped into the car with conflicted emotions. He was upset over the way Niall reacted but he was thrilled that Louis had bought him a plane ticket. Gemma looked at him for a moment before beginning to drive home.

"What happened?" She went straight to the point.

"Niall is upset with me." He said. Gemma frowned.

"What for? He never gets mad at you."

"Yeah, well..." Harry rubbed his fingers across the envelope he had put the tickets back into. "You know Louis Tomlinson?"

"What about him?"

Harry held up the envelope. "He bought me a plane ticket to France."

Gemma slammed on the breaks, making Harry lurch forward. A swear word slipped out and he glared at Gemma.

"What the hell-"

"He bought you a plane ticket?" She exclaimed.

"Is that bad?" Harry asked. He was getting defensive since everyone was reacting badly. Apparently he judged Gemma too quickly because her face broke out in a smile of disbelief.

"Are you serious? Louis Tomlinson bought you a plane ticket to France?" She took the envelope from Harry and shook out the letter and plane ticket. She scoffed in disbelief and looked back at Harry. "Are you going?"

"Well yeah, I was going to ask you to drive me to the airport-"

"Well what are we waiting for?" Gemma said, taking her foot off the break. "Jeez Harry, your love life is better than mine!"

"Shush." He muttered. "We're just friends."

"Yeah, because just friends buy you a plane ticket to France." She sent him a cheeky look and pulled into the driveway. They jumped out of the car and both scurried upstairs, earning Anne's attention but she left them alone.

Gemma and Harry went into his room and shut the door. Gemma began pulling out clothes for Harry while he found his travel bag in the back of his closet.

"Oh my gosh Harry, I can't believe this is happening." Gemma gushed. "Can I come with you?"

"There's only one ticket, Gem." He said, unzipping the bag. Gemma dumped a pile of clothes in it and Harry frowned. He pulled them out and folded them neatly before placing them back in the bag.

"What are you gonna tell mum?" Gemma asked. Harry's consistent rate of folding of clothes slowed significantly.

"Um...I don't know."

"Well you have to tell her soon!" Gemma pulled Harry up by his arm and dragged him downstairs. Anne watched as her two children trampled down the stairs - Gemma with a huge grin on her face and Harry with the opposite and slightly horrified.

"Harry has to tell you something." Gemma pushed him forward and he scowled at her.

He handed her the letter and Anne took it with an eyebrow raised. She read it and her expression slowly fell. She looked at the plane ticket and then looked at Harry. He had a sheepish grin.

"Um...I found this in my locker today and I was wondering if I could go?"

Anne blinked. Her child was asking to go to France to spend the break with a celebrity. Louis Tomlinson to be more exact - someone she's only briefly heard about; and not good things either. She didn't even know what to say. Both of her kids were giving her hopeful looks.

"Come on, mum." Gemma pleaded. Harry stayed deathly silent, looking apprehensive and like he was about to throw up.

There was a long, drawn out silence as Anne was deep in thought. She started out slowly. "As much as I want to say no and that this is a terrible idea," Harry and Gemma's expressions dampened, "...promise me you'll be safe."

It took a few seconds for it to register in Harry's brain what she said. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me and I'm trusting you. Now go finish packing." She gave him the letter back and pushed him upstairs. Gemma shouted in excitement and Harry had a large grin on his face. Soon, they were running back down the stairs, Harry's travel bag full and Gemma's car keys in her hand. He hugged her goodbye and once they were out the door, she leaned against the counter, putting her hand to her forehead.

"What did I just do?”

XxX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think is going to happen? Leave a comment if ya liiiike ;)


	7. Chapter 7

XxX

Honestly, Harry was terrified.

He was in France, unboarding the plane, he didn't know how to speak French, he had no service on his phone, Louis had only given him minimal details, and he had a knapsack full of clothes and electronics. Gemma had walked in the airport with him until he got to security. She hugged him and wished him the best of luck with whatever happened, and that if he ended up being stranded that she would come get him herself and proceed to punch Louis Tomlinson straight in the face if she ever met him.

He walked out of the terminal behind a group of people and stood awkwardly to the side of the entrance. He re-read the note over and over and to his disappointment it stayed the same. There weren't any magical words that appeared on the paper once he crossed the border of France. He searched frantically through the crowd of people, looking for a sign of some sorts. His heart fell.

Nothing.

"Puis-je vous aider, monsieur?" A lady sitting down asked. Harry blinked, forcing himself not to panic.

"Um...do you speak English?"

"Yes, I do." She spoke choppily. "Do you need help?"

"Well," Harry paused, "Someone bought me a ticket to come here for the weekend. I'm trying to find him."

"What is his name?"

"Louis Tomlinson." An expression passed through Harry's face of discomfort. He must sound insane right now saying that a celebrity wanted to spend the weekend with him. Harry felt embarrassed - what if this was still all part of a prank? This must've been one serious prank then for someone to have him flown all the way to France.

"What is your name?"

"Harry Styles." He said. The lady nodded.

"I am Annette. Would you like me to stay with you until you find him?"

Harry had to push back the negative thought, if he even comes, and his face slowly lit up with hope. "Yeah, I would like that a lot."

Annette smiled. "My plane does not leave for another hour. I do not mind keeping you company."

Harry smiled and the lady scooted over a seat, letting him sit down. They had casual conversation and Harry learned that she was flying to England to visit her husband's grave. He had been in the army but died on duty, so she went back to France to move back in with her family. She asked Harry about himself, and he told her his situation with Louis. She said he was lucky and Harry had to silently agree. They talked for a while until Annette suddenly pointed to something. Harry's gaze traveled to where she was pointing and saw a sign that said Harry Styles. His blood turned ice cold.

"I think he found you." She smiled. Harry was in disbelief but he stood up and couldn't make any further movements. Annette leaned forward. "Harry, he is waiting."

He nodded slowly and broke out of his trance. "Thank you very much. I hope your trip is lovely." He said wholeheartedly before walking to the burly man holding the sign. Harry apprehensively cleared his throat.

"U-Um, excuse me, I'm Harry Styles."

The man looked down at him then back at the sign. "May I see some identification?"

Harry furrowed his brows before pulling out his wallet, showing the man his driver's license. He leaned close to look at it before nodding. "Come with me."

Harry cast Annette one last look and she gave him a smile. He followed the man out to a black car where they both got in the back seat. Harry sat with his hands in his lap and his travel bag at his feet. The ride was quiet the entire way there except for the music playing on the radio.

This had to be one of the scariest things Harry had ever done. He had never been to France and only talked to Louis twice in person. They practically knew everything about each other yet it had all been through text. Harry was beginning to feel like their friendship they had was only based on high expectations and over-dramatized stories. What if they didn't even get along? He frowned, feeling a pit of despair form in his stomach.

The car pulled up in front of a hotel and Harry's dread grew. This was it. Either he met his pranksters and was abandoned in France sobbing, or he would come face-to-face with Louis Tomlinson.

The man gestured to get out of the car and Harry scrambled to pick up his bag and jump out. He followed the man into the hotel and up the lift. They walked to a door and the man unlocked it with a key card. The door seemed to take forever to open, making Harry grip the straps of his knapsack apprehensively. It slowly creaked open as if he were in a horror movie.

"Harry!"

Suddenly, a body was flung at him. Harry took a step back as he was enveloped in a tight hug. The person pulled away and their blue eyes sparkled as their fringe fell angelically around their face.

It was Louis.

Harry let out a breath of disbelief as a smile crossed his lips. "Louis."

"It's you!" Louis exclaimed. "I'm so happy you came!" He buried his head into Harry's chest.

"Louis, people are sleeping." The large man scolded. He gestured his head inside the room.

Louis scrunched his nose and dragged Harry inside by the wrist. Harry looked around in awe - the room looked more like a small flat if you asked him. It had two rooms, a kitchen, a living room, and very fancy interior decor. He hardly registered that Louis was talking to him until Louis hugged him tightly again around his neck.

"I can't believe you're here!" Louis exclaimed. "I'm sorry it was such short notice and I couldn't text you back either since we were in different countries and my phone bill would've been off the wall-!"

"Louis!" Harry cut in laughing, "It's okay, try and breathe once in a while! I'm happy to be here."

Louis' face was bright as he gazed into Harry's eyes. Harry couldn't believe he was here. He was in France with Louis Tomlinson. This hadn't been a prank. He would've been devastated if it had been; but the fact that this was real was proof to Harry that Louis stayed true to his word. He couldn't contain his own smile from lightening up his features. He instinctively began to lean forward but the large man cleared his throat.

"Oh, right." Louis cleared his own throat. "Harry, this is one of my body guards, Phil. I hope he didn't scare you too bad on the ride down."

Harry chuckled and glanced at Phil. "Yeah, he gave me quite a scare. More than the whole situation of finding a plane ticket to France in my locker at school." Harry cast Louis a look and he smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll explain that later. Are you hungry?" He questioned.

Harry smiled in amusement. "I ate on the plane."

"Peanuts and juice I bet." Louis scoffed. "Seriously, eat something so I feel better."

"Fine, I'll have something small. And some tea if you have any."

Louis grinned and dragged Harry into the kitchen by his hand. They made him something to eat and some tea they found. Phil went to bed so Louis and Harry were in the kitchen alone; a dim light was shining above them but the moon illuminated the rest of the room.

"I've missed you." Louis said, his gaze burning intensely into Harry.

Harry flushed and looked down at his steaming cup. "I wouldn't think that much."

"No really," Louis scooted closer to him. "going everywhere by myself gets boring. I hate it, honestly."

"What about Eleanor?" Harry questioned. Louis averted his gaze.

"She's busy."

Harry scowled. "You say that every time I bring her up."

Louis was silent but then sighed in defeat. "She doesn't know I'm here. She's on a modeling tour and I didn't tell her I was bringing you to France." A look flashed across his face but it was quickly replaced with a hopeful look. "It's a secret."

A secret? It was hardly a secret back home. His family knew, his friends knew, hell - Sophia most likely would accidentally spill that Harry went to France over the break with Louis Tomlinson. She was a trustworthy girl, she just had a lot of friends.

"Don't think it's because I don't want to be seen with you," Louis reassured. "it's not like that. Just for now I want to keep this hidden, alright? Rumors will start to circulate and I don't want people picking out my relationship with Eleanor and saying it's falling apart."

"So why am I here then?" Harry's forehead creased.

"Because I wanted to be with you. Get to know you." He gave Harry an angelic smile. Harry's heart raced at his words. He was still confused by Louis' intentions - they were still unclear and Harry didn't know what he was getting out of this for himself.

"Tell you what, tomorrow let's stroll around Paris. We'll do whatever you want - my treat." He flashed Harry a grin but he had a doubtful look on his face.

"I still don't understand why I'm here."

Louis' expression fell. "Soon." He patted Harry's knee and slowly slid off of the barstool. "Bed or couch?"

"I'll take the couch." He answered. Louis nodded and went to the bathroom leaving Harry by himself. He sat there for a moment, thinking to himself. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was actually in France with Louis Tomlinson. It made him smile. He was too joyful to begin an explanation.

Harry put his dish away and changed into his pajamas, going and sitting on the couch. He usually didn't sleep with clothes on, but he found the situation inappropriate to sleep nude. Maybe once him and Louis got comfortable with each other they could. Him and Niall had done it before.

Speaking of Niall...Harry felt terrible about what had happened. Niall would always be his friend but Harry was so upset by the way he reacted. Why did Niall dislike Louis so much? Ever since the bakery incident anytime Louis was brought up Niall would get a stoic face and was so serious. He acted like it was the end of the world that Harry was talking to Louis. Harry wanted to apologize, but he didn't get international service and he didn't want to risk his phone bill being costly either. He would have to wait until he got home to apologize.

Louis walked out of the bathroom and saw Harry. He smiled and sat next to him.

"What are you looking at?"

"I want to text Niall and apologize. He was with me when I found the letter in my locker and wasn't very happy." He pursed his lips and Louis looked at him.

"Then why don't you?"

Harry shook his phone. "Different country. I don't have international service."

"Ah," Louis nodded. "Well, wait until you get home then you can. For now, just enjoy spending all your time with the awesome me!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up. Harry chuckled and pushed him playfully.

"We'll see about that." They both grinned at each other.

The mood was light. It had been a bit awkward at first since they hadn't seen each other for a month and weren't used to each other, but the feeling soon dissipated. They were both happy to be in each other's presence but there was now a feeling forming in the pit of Harry's stomach. He recalled the initial feelings Louis had given him the first time Harry saw him and it made him feel jittery and his palms were sweaty. Louis had overdosed on the compliments only making Harry more drawn to him. Things seemed different now - maybe Louis had realized that he didn't need to be that way with Harry.

They talked for hours and ended up staying up later than intended. They spoke about what they had been up to the past month - the things they hadn't covered over text. Harry was excited to hear about Louis' tours and how his career had been going. Louis said he would have a small concert in a nearby mall for charity and he had wanted Harry to come watch. Harry felt honored and his fingers and toes curled in anticipation at the mere thought of seeing Louis perform live.

Eventually, Harry somehow ended up next to Louis in his bed, their faces only inches away. A blanket covered their bodies and their legs were tangled together. They would crack jokes and giggle about things they had experienced or stories they had heard. They would hush each other in fear Phil would walk out and scold them. Louis gingerly traced his fingers along Harry's arm as they talked, his eyes flickering to each feature on Harry's face. A smile slowly grew on his face, which Harry noticed, and he paused mid-sentence.

"What?"

"Nothing," Louis smile grew bigger. "I'm just looking at you."

Harry looked embarrassed but changed the subject. "We should probably get to sleep. I have a feeling we'll be busy all day."

Louis smirked. "We'll be busy alright."

Harry flared his nostrils and turned on his side so he was facing away from Louis. "Goodnight Louis."

Louis scooted closer to Harry and whispered in his ear. "Goodnight curly."

XxX

Harry woke up with a warmth on his back. He hadn't gotten cold at all throughout the night, which surprised him. He felt a slight tickle on his neck and he craned his head to the side, seeing Louis fast asleep. His chest gently rose up and down and his arm was draped over Harry. Harry shifted so he was now facing Louis, causing his eyelids to flutter. Louis took a deep breath as he rolled to his back and brought his hand up to his forehead. He rubbed his eyes and opened them, looking at Harry. A small smile graced his features.

"Good morning."

Harry smiled cheekily. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I ever have, considering how late we stayed up." He poked Harry's cheek and sat up, looking at the clock on the nightstand next to them. "It's only ten-thirty, the day is still young."

"Well I want to take a shower. I got super sweaty last night." Harry scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up, stretching his back.

"Body heat, curly." Louis gave him a sly smile and Harry scrunched his nose at him playfully. "Let me go first, unless you want to join me."

"You wish." Harry scoffed. Louis grinned before heading to the shower.

Harry went to his travel bag and grabbed an outfit Gemma had chosen out for him. He had bought three shirts and two pairs of pants - he didn't know how long he'd be staying but he figured he would want room for things to bring back. But knowing Louis, they would be in France the very last second until Harry had to be in class five minutes later.

When Louis was done, Harry set his clothes on the counter and turned on the shower. He stepped in and the cold water ran down his back, sending chills through his body. He smiled to himself - this was the most content he had ever felt. His entire life he had always felt that he had a purpose for something yet he hadn't been able to figure it out. He felt that he wasn't getting anywhere by living in Cheshire his entire life. He wanted to experience true happiness by doing something he enjoyed. Right now, Louis was giving that to him.

A little under half an hour Harry was finished and putting his clothes on. It was a simple white v-neck with a navy blue sweater over it in case it got chilly. He also had on his white converse on with simple jeans. When he walked out, Louis was sitting at the counter, a plate of food in front of him, waiting.

"Phil called room service." He said. "I don't know what you like so I got you the same as mine."

Harry peered at the plates, seeing that it was a simple flapjacks, eggs, sausage, and hashbrowns. "Looks great."

"This place has way good breakfast." Louis smiled. "But later, we'll go to a bistro for lunch. It has great ratings and I've been wanting to go there!"

"As long as I get to be with you." Harry sat next to Louis and they began eating. They talked a bit, enjoying the company of one another. The sun was shining through the windows, reflecting off of the counter. The balcony door was cracked open, letting a cool breeze flow in.

They lounged around for a few hours, talking some more and watching the television. They found a soap and couldn't understand anything so made up their own dialogue for it. They came up with the tragic story of Julliard being in love with Lillian but she didn't love him back. She loved a man named Jon who was from Greece and loved cats. Lillian's cousin Beatrice was head-over-heels with Julliard but he didn't notice her. Harry and Louis felt they were doing really well creating their own dialogue until at the very end of the episode all four characters died from being stabbed. They stared at the screen and sat in shocked silence.

After a long moment, Louis stood up and adjusted his shirt. "Well that's awkward. I rather liked our love square."

Harry giggled. "You'd do well voicing girls."

Louis spiked his tone up an octave. "Oh my gosh, I know right?"

Harry stifled a laugh. "Never do that again."

Louis playfully scrunched his nose at Harry. "Now that's over, let's go into town. I want to show you around." He walked to the front door and turned around. He smiled. "Ready?"

XxX


	8. Chapter 8

XxX

Louis had to admit France was beautiful. He cast his gaze to Harry who was sitting next to him. Harry looked like a lost puppy staring at everything with his mouth agape. It was endearing - Louis had only wanted to make him happy. They were being driven to the main part of Paris, where they would walk around and enjoy a romantic stroll around the city. Or at least that's how Louis perceived it. Harry would most likely be so caught up in sightseeing that he would forget Louis even existed.

Louis smiled fondly, as long as Harry was happy, that was okay with him.

His nerves had been over the top this past week. He had bought the plane ticket on impulse and had one of his agents stationed in Cheshire to deliver it to Harry's locker. He originally intended it to be given to Harry in person, but found putting it in his locker was more cliché and he liked that. Louis didn't consider himself a romantic person though.

Being brought back to the present, Louis squeezed the top of Harry's hand. Harry turned his attention to him. "Do you like it?"

"Yes." Harry breathed. "It's amazing, I can't believe I'm here."

"Well don't worry, we won't be leaving anytime soon." Louis said, looking out his window. His charity concert was tomorrow, meaning he could spend all of today with Harry without any interruptions.

They were dropped off on the sidewalk and Harry fiddled with the ends of his sleeves. Louis put his hand on Harry's shoulder comfortingly.

"Is there anywhere specific you want to go?"

"Well...the only place I know is the Eiffel Tower..." Harry muttered and Louis smiled.

"In that case I'll lead." Louis gently took Harry's hand in his own. Their fingers interlaced naturally Harry stared at it for a second until they started walking. It was crazy to Louis how perfect their hands fit together perfectly - like they were meant to be together. He pulled Harry closer to him subconsciously.

They walked through the streets and Harry occasionally stopped to take pictures. He asked some pedestrians to take pictures of him and Louis together which Louis found cute. Harry grumbled out the explanation that Gemma would want to see them as proof that they were together. Louis raised his eyebrows amused and they continued walking.

They strolled through the Rue des Martyrs and stopped at as many of the vendors as they could. He and Harry eagerly sampled everything they could. All the things they tasted were delicious. Hours passed and they found themselves sitting in a gourmet café, laughing and bubbling with joy. Louis had ordered one of the top rated foods served while Harry opted for something less fancy. He said he didn't want to waste all of Louis' money, but he assured Harry that he had money to spare. As their food arrived, they began conversing in deep subjects. As Louis was talking to Harry, he learned that they had similar views and beliefs that only varied slightly. For that he was glad; he didn't want to have some close-minded fool wrapped around his finger.

As Harry talked, Louis' smile slowly grew bigger. He was so endearing the way he slowly spoke with his accent that differed from Louis' about his experiences and described the people close to him. They were long done with their food and Louis' hand slowly slid to Harry's, sliding his thumb over the back of his hand gently. Harry paused and looked at it, smiled, and continued to talk.

Even after their plates were taken and they ate dessert, they kept talking. Louis loved how he could hold a deep, continuous conversation with Harry. He had been right; once Harry got comfortable he was very outgoing. He smiled softly once more, absentmindedly playing with Harry's fingers.

"Haz, you ready to go?"

Harry seemed taken aback, which Louis didn't know why, but shook his head. "No, yeah. Sorry."

Louis raised an eyebrow, suddenly alarmed. "Something the matter?"

"Not at all," Harry pursed his lips, "Niall just calls me Haz, so it caught me off guard."

Louis' eyes narrowed the slightest bit. He slid out from his chair and stood up, fixing his shirt. "Well, if you don't want me to call you that then I won't."

"It's not that." Harry stood up as well. "It's just no one else has ever called me that. You just always call me curly." He smiled and Louis couldn't keep from smiling himself. Harry's smile was contagious.

"I can't stay jealous when you look like that."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Why are you jealous-"

"Oh look, it's three-o'clock, we can catch one of those tour boats." Louis cut him off, quickly pacing out of the cafe. Harry stumbled after him, grabbing Louis' sleeve once they were outside.

"Lou, talk to me. Why are you jealous?"

Louis' nostrils flared and he huffed. "I like you a lot, Harry. When you talk about Niall it reminds me that I don't know you as well as he does. Besides, he doesn't even like me."

"That's not true." Harry furrowed his eyebrows. He had spoken too soon - the longer he thought about it the more he realized that Niall didn't like Louis at all. He thought back to all the times Niall proved that statement.

"The Louis Tomlinson?"

"Just don't fall in love with him okay? He could end up disappointing you."

"The whole...Louis Tomlinson situation. Like...could this even go anywhere?"

"He must be pretty cocky if he thinks Harry is going to be his last minute vacation."

"Why are you going? He just..."

Louis looked at Harry expectantly. He knew exactly what was going through his mind. Louis folded his arms and waited patiently for a response while Harry avoided his gaze.

"Okay, maybe you're not his favorite, but that doesn't matter."

Louis gave him a look but then his expression softened. "I don't want to lose you. For now, can we leave everything else back in England? We're here together and I want to enjoy that."

Harry slowly let his gaze trail up to Louis' blue eyes. Louis gave Harry a hopeful look and held his hand out. Harry smiled slowly and took his hand. Louis' smile grew bigger and he squeezed Harry's hand.

They went to the local dock where they got on a tour boat, never letting go of each other's hand the entire time. Harry pointed to buildings and things he found interesting. He took tons of pictures while Louis watched fondly as Harry's face would light up and he would bounce up and down eagerly.

The tour took a little over two hours, so by the time they were finished it was barely past six o'clock. The sun was beginning to set and they stepped off of the boat, eyes drooping and stomachs empty.

"Care for dinner, my cupcake?" Louis asked. They were both fatigued but Harry gave him a cheeky smile regardless.

"Indeed, my sunshine."

Louis hailed a taxi and told the driver the address of their hotel. Harry was momentarily confused.

"Why our hotel?"

"It's a five-star restaurant, darling." He brushed Harry's hair away from his face. "We need to get dressed for the occasion."

"But I didn't bring nice clothing." Harry said, slightly mortified.

"I figured as much, that's why I had Phil go shopping for you today." Louis smirked while Harry's eyes widened.

"You've got to be kidding."

"Nope! I had him measure the clothing in your bag yesterday and go and get a suit tailored. I'd say it will look great on you."

"Louis," Harry whined, "why would you do that?"

"Because I can." Louis shrugged. He had a cocky smile on his face and Harry scrunched his nose. He didn't want Louis spending copious amounts of money on him - he just wanted to be here with him. "Let me spoil you at least once."

"Fine." Harry huffed. There was no use in fighting since it had already been done. Louis smiled and kissed his temple lightly, making Harry's blood run cold. He was too shocked to say anything so the rest of the ride was silent.

Minutes later, they were dropped off at the hotel and Louis led Harry up to their room. Their hands were still glued together even when they walked through the door. It was crazy for Harry to think that less than twenty-four hours ago he was standing in this exact spot finally seeing Louis after an entire month. He had been terrified but now exactly a day later he was feeling more secure than he ever had.

"Phil, we're ready!" Louis called out. Harry heard a door open and Phil soon appeared with two suits in hand. They were both black pinstripe with a white dress shirt underneath - Louis hadn't been joking when he said Phil went shopping. He immediately could tell which one was Louis' because it was a bit shorter. Harry was in awe as Phil handed it to him.

"Ah pinstripe," Louis sighed, "my favorite. It will look great on you too." He winked at Harry and went into the bathroom, suit in hand. Harry stared at the clothing item in his own hands, still shocked. This thing must've cost thousands, especially to have it made in only one day. He looked up at Phil who had a passive expression.

"Um, did Louis really do this for me?"

Phil nodded.

"...Why?"

"Because he cares." Phil answered.

Harry scrunched his eyebrows. He didn't say anything and slowly retreated to the bedroom, shutting the door.

Harry took his clothes off and put on each piece of the suit slowly, feeling the way it fit him perfectly. It was amazing how Phil could've gotten his measurements just by looking at his regular clothes. He looked at himself in the full-body mirror, flipping his hair a few times and combing his fingers through it. He frowned, knowing that was all the cooperation he was getting. He was still in awe by the suit itself - it was expensive looking and had very durable material.

He walked out of the room slowly, seeing Louis standing there in his suit talking with Phil. He had fixed his hair up a bit to where it was a messy quiff instead; he looked absolutely stunning and Harry's voice hitched in the back of his throat. Louis looked so attractive.

Their attention was brought to Harry and instantly Louis' face lit up. "Harry, you look great!"

"Really?" He scratched his nose, flustered. This was all too much for him. Louis walked up to him, putting his hands behind his back and strolling in circles around him.

"You've done well, Phil. It fits him in all the right places." He smirked as Harry flushed.

"Your reservations are at seven." Phil said, looking at his watch. "We should head out."

"Mm Harry, you might also want to bring clothes for after. The ones you were wearing earlier will work." He smiled and it unnerved Harry.

"What are we doing?"

Louis shook his finger. "That's a surprise. Shall we go?" He held out his hand to Harry and he took it. They walked out of the room with Phil behind them. He locked the door and they went down to the lobby. Harry's heart dropped as they walked outside.

"You did not."

Louis' impish grin grew larger. "I did."

Harry let out a huff of agitation as he looked at the sleek black limo parked in front of them. A valet was waiting by the opened door with a smile on his face. Louis adjusted his suit jacket, a cocky smile on his face, and walked to the limo. He got inside and beckoned Harry to follow. He peered inside and saw the seats were leather while the tables and cups were all glass. There were red, green, and blue lights trailing across the outline of the roof. There were red lights illuminating under the glass tables, giving it a very sensual aura. Harry felt the lump in his throat grow as Louis held his hand out.

"Care to sit?"

Harry took his hand apprehensively and sat next to him. Louis crossed his legs and put his arm on the back of the seat behind Harry. Harry sat with his hands in his lap and lips pressed in a firm line. Phil got in behind them and the valet closed the door. Soon, they were on the road. There was quiet music playing in the background and Louis sighed in content.

"Isn't this lovely?"

"I've never been in a limo before." Harry muttered. Louis looked appalled.

"Seriously?"

"Serious."

He pouted. "Wow Haz, I need to expose you to a few things then."

Harry wasn't sure which way to take that, so he ignored it.

The ride was quiet and content. Harry eventually eased up as he got used to the atmosphere of the vehicle. Rich people definitely did live a different lifestyle than the middle class. Everything of theirs was lavish and nothing fancy fazed them. It was all part of their world.

Soon they arrived at their destination. The valet opened the door and Harry stepped out, looking at the restaurant. It was titled Verjus; Louis stepped out behind him.

"Ready love?" He asked, taking Harry's hand. He smiled and nodded, letting him lead the way. Phil stayed behind in the car while they walked inside. Instantly, Harry was rushed with the scent of food and his stomach growled. There were people dressed in expensive clothing lined up in the waiting area. Harry searched for a single person wearing casual clothes - none. This restaurant must've meant business. Louis walked right up to the hostess, ignoring the glares people sent his way.

"Tomlinson, table for two."

She checked her list and nodded, grabbing two menus. "Follow me."

She lead them to a secluded table that was illuminated by dim lights from above. Harry stared at the setting in wonder - this was truly a marvelous place already. Louis pulled out his chair for him and he sat down.

"Thank you, kind sir." He said cheekily. Louis grinned.

"My pleasure." He sat across the table from Harry and interlaced his fingers. "So, what do you think so far?"

"It's incredible." Harry said. "I still can't believe all this."

Louis smiled fondly. "I'm glad. All I wanted was for you to have a good time."

"It's amazing, Louis. Thank you so much." Harry said wholeheartedly. He genuinely was thankful, Louis was showing him wonders he had never seen before.

"Don't thank me quite yet." Louis took a sip of his water that had already been on the table. The waiter approached them and asked what they would like to drink. "Do you like wine?"

"I can't say I've tried it." Harry pursed his lips.

"A simple white wine will be fine." Louis told the waiter. She nodded and left.

"You're not getting me drunk are you?"

Louis scoffed, though playfully. "Of course not, a light wine will only give you a small buzz. Besides, it's to compliment the food."

Harry decided to trust Louis on this one since he knew nothing of wine. They were in France so the occasion called for it - he just wouldn't tell him mum when he got home. They looked over their menus and decided on their choice once the waiter arrived with the bottle. She took their orders and left them in the dim lighting.

"So, what's your favorite thing about France so far?"

Harry paused mid-drink. He mused over the question but couldn't come up with a specific answer. "Honestly, everything. The scenery is especially beautiful."

"It is, I love France." Louis poured himself a small glass of wine and did the same for Harry. "Try some."

Harry picked up the glass tentatively and clinked it together with Louis', taking a small sip. His face scrunched up once it hit his tongue. "It's bitter."

"If you think this is bitter then wait until you have red wine." Louis chuckled. "You get used to it, but don't drink anymore until you have your food. It tastes much better then."

Harry set the glass to the side and kept sipping on his water. A while later, their food arrived at their table and Harry marveled at the sight of it. Not only did it smell heavenly but it was also set on the plate like an art project. Harry was almost too scared to touch it so he took a picture of it instead.

Louis laughed. "How many pictures are you going to take?"

"Look at this thing! My mum and Gemma would never believe me if I tried to explain it." Harry looked at the picture and opted it good before picking up his fork. He gently poked at it before taking a small bite, seeing Louis' eyes follow the fork to his lips. He sat back in his chair.

"This tastes amazing."

Louis smirked and took a sip of his wine.

~-~-~

After they finished dinner, they met Phil in the limo the same place they left. Harry wondered if they had been waiting there the entire time since they had taken an hour. Phil handed Louis and Harry a bag full of their clothes and he looked at it skeptically.

"What are these for again?" Harry questioned.

"The night is far from done, Harry." Louis said, scooting to the front part of the limo. "Excuse me for a moment." He pulled a curtain from the roof and Harry was appalled. Was there anything else that would surprise him?

A few minutes later Louis pulled the curtain to the side, now wearing his casual clothes once more. He handed his failed attempt at folding his suit to Phil and Harry went to the front of the limo. He pulled down the curtain as he saw Louis do and changed clothes. He folded his suit much better than Louis had done and handed it to Phil.

The car stopped and the door opened. Harry and Louis jumped out since they now had more freedom in their clothes. Harry eyes widened as his gaze traveled upwards.

"The Eiffel Tower?"

"Yup." Louis said cheerfully, popping the last letter of the word. He took Harry's hand and they walked towards it. Harry stopped and pulled out his phone, snapping a photo of it. Louis watched fondly.

"Lou, I want a picture with you." Harry said. Louis was stunned to silence for a moment before he grabbed a pedestrian walking past. Harry turned on the flash and handed his phone to them, standing next to Louis. Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' shoulders and he scowled.

"Why do you have to be taller than me?"

Harry shrugged, keeping his amusement at bay. The man took a photo and handed the phone back. Harry thanked him and looked at it. Louis was pouting while Harry was smiling at the camera.

"It looks great."

Louis let out a huff. "You're younger than me yet taller."

"Hardly!" Harry grinned. "Don't be so depressed, I'm sure you'll grow a few more inches."

Louis poked Harry's forehead. "Come on, we're going to the top."

"Of that?" Harry exclaimed. Louis couldn't be serious, that was too high for his liking. Louis nodded firmly.

"Yes, we're taking the lift. Unless you want to walk up tons of stairs."

"How about we stay down here?" Harry offered weakly. It's not that he was scared of heights, he just preferred to stay close to the ground where he knew he wasn't going to fall to his death. Louis squeezed his hand to bring him out of his momentary nightmare.

"It's alright, there's railings and the scenery is to die for." He gave Harry a genuine smile and it calmed his nerves if only a little.

They were on the lift and Harry kept his gaze on the metal floor. He was shaking slightly but Louis hadn't let go of his hand. It was keeping him calm. Louis tilted Harry's chin up with his hand.

"Hey, I promise you'll like it. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Harry forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat and blinked, looking back to the floor. He slowly let his gaze trail through the window to the outside, seeing all of the lights. The higher they got, the farther out he was able to see. He breathed slowly as he drank in the sight - it was absolutely breathtaking.

They reached the top and Louis stepped out first, letting Harry prepare himself before gently pulling him out of the lift. Harry's grip tightened as the wind whipped through his curls. Louis took Harry's other hand in his own.

"See, it's not so bad!"

"It's windy up here." Harry muttered. Louis smiled fondly and gently rubbed Harry's cheek with his thumb. Harry took a glimpse at Louis and his heart melted at the sight of his shining blue eyes.

"I know." Louis said softly. "Come here, I want to show you something."

Louis led him closer to the edge and Harry felt a shiver run up his spine, closing his eyes. He was glad he brought a jacket since the breeze was rather chilly. They slowly approached the rail and Harry took a deep breath before opening his eyes, beholding the sight in front of him.

He let out an silent breath as the lights blared beneath him. The distant sound of cars echoed below and there was the outlying sound of people's footsteps. The sun had finally set, leaving streaks of orange, pink and purple through the sky, letting the moon take its place. The crisp air blew past Harry with no effort. He sighed deeply, smelling the countless aromas that surrounded the city. A smile slowly formed on his face. He felt like he could fly.

Louis watched him closely; he wanted to feel certain that Harry wasn't about to have a heart attack. He felt Harry's grip on his hand loosen and Louis looked down. Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' waist and held him close. Louis smiled as he gently brushed his lips against Harry's jaw. He leaned his head down into Harry's chest and Harry hugged him from the side as they stood in silence.

Their ears perked as they heard music in the distance. Harry loosened his grasp from Louis' waist and gripped his hand against the frigid rails, leaning closer as if to listen better. He saw a small fair a distance away and his face lightened.

"It looks like a merry-go-round!"

Louis smiled affectionately. He stayed voiceless because he loved watching the silent emotions pass through Harry's features. Harry was terrible at hiding how he was feeling, which Louis found endearing. As Louis shifted his position to press his body closer to Harry's, his gaze averted to Louis.

Louis looked up and they both stared at each other for a long moment as a thought passed through both of their minds. Louis swallowed nervously and clenched his fists together as he leaned forward the slightest bit, prompting him. Harry's heart pumped erratically as his hands slid off the railing and to his side. He kept Louis' mindful watch as they slowly inched towards each other, both of their pulses racing and hands icy. Harry's eyes closed at the last second before their lips met in the middle.

The feeling was sweet, arousing, tender, galvanizing...Harry's head was spinning. Louis' fingers tangled themselves into Harry's hair to close their proximity. Harry's arms wrapped around Louis' waist tightly, one resting on his lower back. Their lips moved together passionately as they felt all the pent up emotions over the course of their meeting flow out. They soon parted to fulfill their need for a breath. Both of their faces were flushed and a fond smile appeared on Louis' features. He leaned forward again, placing a small kiss to Harry's lips.

"I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to do that." Louis breathed, feeling his stomach twirl in bliss.

"Why didn't you earlier?" Harry's voice was tender as he rubbed circles with his thumb against Louis' back.

"I was scared." Louis eyes darted back and forth from Harry's eyes.

Harry smiled compassionately and brought Louis' face closer to his own. Their foreheads were touching and Harry kissed the tip of his nose.

"Well I'm glad you did."

XxX


	9. Chapter 9

XxX

In the morning, Harry woke up with a soft breath tingling against his neck. He slowly blinked his groggy eyes open and took in his view. He was in Louis' room again.

Harry slowly turned his head back to look and the sleeping boy beside him. He had such a peaceful look on his face. Harry realized how vulnerable Louis currently was and pursed his lips. He had been here a day and was already falling for him big time. He had never expected his initial feelings for Louis to further than they were but he was wrong.

He slowly pressed a kiss to Louis' forehead, wanting to get out of his own thoughts. Louis stirred and blinked a few moments later, taking in a deep breath before opening his eyes. He smiled once his eyes gazed into Harry's.

"Good morning."

Harry smiled. "Good morning to you. How did you sleep?"

"Better than ever." Louis grinned, brushing Harry's hair away from his forehead then sitting up. He yawned and stretched. "What time did we get back last night?"

"I don't remember," Harry laid on his back and put his arms behind his head, "late?"

Louis scoffed. "You're helpful." He laid down on his stomach and rested his chin on the palms of his hands. A smile grew on Harry's lips the longer Louis stared at him.

"What?"

"I have a charity concert tonight." He whined, lulling his head to the side. "I don't want to do it."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to stay in bed with you." He said pitifully. Harry chuckled.

"I'll be there too, since you said I could come."

Louis only scrunched his nose at the statement. He leaned forward to give Harry a kiss but Harry quickly covered his mouth with his palm facing outward. Louis kissed his hand and grinned as he rolled out of bed.

Harry and Louis brushed their teeth together then Harry jumped back in bed. He was still cold and didn't want to get up yet; unfortunately Louis couldn't join him since he still had to get ready. About thirty minutes later, he came out dressed in a collared navy blue shirt, red pants, and triad colored braces with his hair quiffed nicely. The past few days he had styled it down so Harry rather liked the different look. Louis glared at him with amusement reflecting behind his eyes.

"You haven't gotten up yet!"

Harry rolled to his stomach and hid his face in the pillow, groaning. "But it's so warm."

Louis ran to Harry and jumped on top of his back, bouncing up and down. "Come on, Haz! I'm starving!"

Harry only groaned again as Louis' bouncing continued though he couldn't keep a grin off of his face. Eventually, Louis stopped bouncing and Harry took this as his chance to roll on his side, throwing Louis off of him. Harry spun around and straddled his legs around Louis so now he was hovering over him and Louis looked shocked. Their chests were heaving as they stared at each other in silence.

"Well this is a certain turn of events." Louis said eventually, though his voice was hoarse. Harry grinned and put his hands on both sides of Louis' head. He slowly dipped his head down and kissed him softly. Louis responded by wrapping his arms around Harry's neck to pull him closer.

Harry brushed a stay hair away from Louis' forehead and cupped his cheek. His other hand trailed up Louis' torso and Louis let out a muffled groan, hooking each of his fingers in Harry's curls in response. Their bodies began moving synchronic to each other as their breaths became more ragged and quick. The hedonic air around them grew warmer with each passing second and Harry craved more. His slender fingers trailed to the top of Louis' shirt and slowly toyed with the top button, undoing it. Louis gasped as Harry's icy fingers pressed against his skin and shivers went up his spine.

They both heard a cough and Harry instantly pulled away and snapped his head to the side. Phil was standing in the doorway with a blank look on his face, fingers interlaced in front of his body. He blinked, waiting patiently, and Louis sat up flustered, buttoning his shirt back up and running his fingers through his hair in attempt to tame it. "Y-Yes, Phil?"

"Breakfast is ready." He said and walked out. Louis and Harry stared after him in utter mortification and chagrin. After a moment, Harry cleared his throat and avoided Louis' gaze.

"We should-uhh...go eat."

Louis nodded meekly without saying a word. They scrambled out of the bed and left the covers a mess. Harry went into the bathroom while Louis headed to the kitchen. Phil was looking at his phone as Louis hesitantly sat down, refusing to look at him. He picked up his fork and began poking at an egg.

"Louis," Phil started. His entire body froze and he felt his face heating up. "your concert starts at five tonight, you have interviews beforehand."

Oh, that's all he was going to say. Louis was relieved and found himself letting out a breath he never knew he was holding in. He felt his the tension in his shoulders start to ease away, but the discomfort in his lower region stayed. He shifted his legs uncomfortably.

"I didn't know you two were that close." Phil said more as a statement. Louis scrunched his face together, silently pleading that Phil drop the subject.

"Me neither."

Phil raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"I don't want to talk about it." Louis squeaked. He felt more humiliated than ever. At least it wasn't his agent that had walked in on him - he would've been toast if that were the case. Phil wasn't the type to tell secrets, but the fact that he had walked in on them was more embarrassing than anything Louis had ever been caught doing. He twiddled his thumbs nervously, dreading when Harry would come back out of the bathroom.

Harry stared at himself in the mirror; eyes glossy and cheeks flushed. He had attempted to comb his hair and find some clothes to put on but his mind was frazzled. He almost wore all black then tried to mix neon yellow with orange. He'd look like a walking ray of sunshine if he did that.

What the hell just happened?

Harry still couldn't wrap his mind around what had taken place less than five minutes ago. He had surprised himself by being so forward, but that wasn't what made it awkward. The fact that Phil had walked in and probably watched for a few seconds is what made Harry feel embarrassed. He was terrified how Louis was going to react when he walked out and he wasn't sure if he wanted to ever leave the comfort of the bleak bathroom. It was better than facing Phil - he already scared the shit out of Harry to begin with.

He ran the tap and splashed water on his face, hoping that the redness of his cheeks would die down. His heartbeat was still erratic and he took a deep breath, smoothing down his shirt. Harry clenched his fists to his side and opened the door, slowly walking out. He saw Louis sitting a few chairs away from Phil, and just by looking at his posture, Harry could tell Louis was feeling the same way as him.

Harry slid into the chair next to Louis and he jumped slightly, giving Harry halfhearted smile. Harry pressed his lips together tightly, letting his eyes trail down to Louis' lips. Just a few minutes ago he had been ravishing them with his own and the thought made him grin. Louis raised an unsure eyebrow and went back to his plate of food.

The breakfast was silent and soon the awkward tension went away. Phil didn't bring it up or seem to have any intentions to so Harry was relieved. Louis' chipper attitude came back and he and Harry were cracking jokes, with an occasional brush against each other's hands. Each time it happened Harry's skin tingled and Louis would give him a look that Harry knew only meant one thing.

The rest of the day Louis and Harry spent their time in the shopping center Louis was going to perform at. Phil left them alone to go set up for Louis' interview in the building next door. Louis dragged Harry to where he would be performing and scowled.

"It's right in the center of the food court!" He exclaimed with a look of terror. Harry held back his laughter.

"Yeah, where did you expect it to be?"

"Not in the middle of everything!" He pouted. "I just...I don't like performing."

Harry raised an eyebrow, clearly shocked. "What do you mean?"

Louis huffed. "Let's go look around more." He mumbled, taking Harry's hand in his own and pulling him away from the food court.

Harry was asking countless questions in his head. What did Louis mean by he didn't like performing? Didn't he love singing and being in front of crowds? Louis seemed to be that kind of guy to have been the class clown that was always the center of attention. He could be cocky when he wanted to be but for the most part he was genuine, or at least what Harry had experienced so far.

Louis held onto Harry's hand as they continued walking through the mall. He dragged Harry into a few stores to avert his mind from his performance later today. He had to pull himself together or Harry would think he was weak. He didn't want that.

XxX

Harry stood with Louis' agent as Louis was interviewed. He occasionally wrote on his clipboard but ignored Harry for the most part. Louis gave out some autographs and had pictures with fans. Harry could tell Louis was antsy to get this over with since he kept his conversations curt and straight to the point. The paparazzi's cameras flashed as he waved and stepped off the platform where his interview had taken place. Phil set his hand on Louis' back as he led him away from the press with their extended microphones and cameras, shouting questions at him. Louis cast a small smile and wave and caught up with Harry and his agent.

Louis grabbed Harry's hand instinctively and they were lead to a black car outside of the building. There were screaming girls outside being held back by policemen and some more of Louis' body guards that had been flown in. As Louis and Harry walked down the strip of gated sidewalk, he posed for some pictures with fans, quickly scurrying away afterwards, never letting go of Harry's hand. The commotion was overwhelming for Harry and he felt faint. The flashing of cameras and screaming fans was too much. He felt Louis grip his hand tightly and he kept his gaze on it until they got inside the car. He sighed a shaken breath and Louis rubbed his thumb against Harry's soothingly. Louis' agent was sitting on the other side of Louis with his clipboard out, pen between tucked behind his ear.

"Good job, Louis. There weren't any major slip-ups." He said casually, casting a glance to him. Louis gave him a look.

"I did great, thank you."

"Now your concert is in thirty minutes. You need to get your wardrobe ready."

"I was planning on only wearing this." Louis scowled. His agent shook his head.

"You need a different outfit."

He blew at a stray hair that had fallen out of his quiff irritated. Harry gave him a reassuring smile.

"You'll do great."

Louis didn't look at him. "Yeah. Hopefully."

They were snuck to the tour bus and Harry waited on the couch outside of Louis' closet. Louis walked out and Harry looked him up and down; he had redone his hair and was wearing a white v-neck, red chinos, white vans, and red braces. He held his hands out expectantly.

"What do you think?"

"Lots of red." Harry mulled. Louis scowled and Harry chuckled apologetically. "I'm kidding, you look lovely." Harry nodded. Louis smiled and dipped down to kiss him softly. Harry was taken aback, but then melted into the kiss. He brought his hands to cup Louis' cheeks and Louis slyly moved onto Harry's lap, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck. They heard the door open and Louis hastily flipped off of Harry and sat next to him with his hands in his lap inconspicuously. His agent walked up the steps, clipboard in hand, and looked up. He gave them a weird look.

"Is everything alright?"

Harry cleared his throat and Louis nodded. "Yes sir. "

He raised his eyebrow and closed the door. "Are you ready, Louis?"

He nodded and stood up. Harry scowled as a thought came to his head.

"Aren't you going to warm up first?"

Louis' eyes widened but he didn't turn around immediately. His agent cast Louis a look and Louis turned around with trepidation. "Silly Harry, I warmed up in my closet. Couldn't you hear me?" He outstretched his hand with a forced smile. "Come on."

Harry's skeptical look didn't dissipate but he took Louis' hand regardless. They were lead through a back way into the mall and Louis kept a firm grip on Harry's hand. He let go when his agent turned around to fall in step with them, spouting a list of everything Louis needed to make sure and do during the performance. Harry couldn't help feel like his agent was only worsening Louis' nerves.

They approached the stage and Louis' agent stopped walking and held a hand out to Harry to do the same. He watched as Louis kept walking to the stage.

"Good luck!" Harry called out. Louis turned around and flashed him a smile, hopping up the steps. His agent pushed Harry around to the front so they could watch the performance. They saw someone hand Louis a microphone and he examined it before putting it to his lips.

"How's everyone doin' tonight?" Louis questioned. The girls around the food court screamed in response. He smiled. "Good! I'm glad to be here, I'd like to thank my agent for giving me this opportunity to promote this charity. It's for a worthy cause so don't forget to donate!"

The music started and Louis skipped around the stage for a bit before he began to sing. Harry smiled. Seeing Louis perform was a wonder - he didn't seem nervous anymore and the energy level was high. He saw Louis' agent writing notes on his clipboard and he was tempted to look but he didn't want to snoop. If he was on his bad side then he would never get to be around Louis.

"Isn't he something?" His agent said. Harry was surprised that he had even spoken and looked at him. His agent was watching Louis and Harry's eyes followed his gaze. "He puts up such a fight and disagrees with everything I say but in the end turns out alright. He's very brave, I hope you know." He cast Harry a side glance.

Harry suddenly felt scrutinized under his intimidating look. "Um, yes sir. I know he is."

His agent turned his attention back to Louis. "Recently he's been requesting to have more performances. In the beginning, I had to force him to even considering doing one gig. I had to start out small since he always got so anxious."

Harry pursed his lips. "Um, sir, can I ask you something?"

"Depends."

"Why does Louis get so nervous?" He saw his agent blink slowly and sigh discreetly.

"You'll have to ask him."

XxX

An hour later, Louis was waving to his fans and jumped down the steps, heading to the back. His agent beckoned Harry to walk behind the makeshift stage, and Harry stumbled forward. They met Louis behind the stage and Louis' face brightened when he saw Harry. He lunged forward and enveloped him in a hug and Harry chuckled.

"You did wicked." Harry said, wrapping his arm around Louis. He pulled back and grinned. Louis' face was flushed and his eyes were sparkling.

"You think so?"

"Could be better, Tomlinson." His agent stated as he walked past. He sent him a hard look. "Three slip-ups in the exact same places."

Louis' demeanor fell. His face went stoic and he nodded. "I understand."

Harry kept his glare from showing through but he was sure his agent saw it. Once he was out of earshot, he scowled at Louis. "Why does he scold you so much?"

Louis shrugged halfheartedly. "He has his best interest out for me. He's been through this multiple times so he knows what he's doing."

"Don't you think he's a little harsh-" Harry questioned but Louis put his hand over Harry's mouth.

"Harry, don't worry! I know how he is - that's not even close to harsh." He smiled and took his hand off Harry's mouth. Harry still had a doubtful look on his face and Louis kissed him sweetly.

"Don't worry."

"Louis!" His agent snapped. He was standing over by Phil now and their attention was turned to them. "You have the rest of the week off to do whatever. Don't get in any trouble."

Louis grinned and grabbed Harry's hand. "What do you want to do?"

"Don't you want to relax? I bet you're tired after all that singing." Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

He swore he saw some unnamed emotion pass through Louis' eyes but Louis shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine! Are you hungry?"

"I guess, but-"

"Phil, Harry and I want to go eat!" Louis called out. Phil looked at him and nodded, turning back to Louis' agent. He took a piece of paper and put it in the inner pocket of his suit jacket before walking over to them.

"Where?"

"We don't know, somewhere nice but not too over the top." He sent a sly smirk at Harry and he shuffled his feet anxiously.

Phil nodded and led them through the back of the mall. They were taken to a limo waiting outside and once again the paparazzi and screaming fans were lined up against the gates, holding their hands out and cameras flashing. Louis pressed his hand on the small of Harry's back to guide him forward, waving at fans and smiling. He didn't stop for pictures and they got in the black limo. Harry sighed in relief.

"How do you get used to that?"

Louis paused, thinking about it. "I guess you don't. I was a normal guy just like you a few years ago so I'm still not used to girls screaming at me." He pulled a face and Harry laughed.

"I don't think I'm normal; I'm in France with Louis Tomlinson."

Louis grinned cheekily. "That's not a big deal! Now, where do you want to eat?"

Harry rested his head back on the seat, exasperated. "Louis, I thought you said you weren't going to spoil me anymore."

Louis put his arm around the back of Harry's seat. "Haz, I care about you. I want to give you nice things. You've been better to me than anyone ever has and I want to show you that I appreciate you." His blue eyes shone genuinely and Harry felt his heart throb. A small smile graced Harry's lips. Louis looked down at Harry's mouth and pressed their lips together firmly. Harry responded by cupping Louis' cheek with his hand and pulled him closer.

A thought crossed through Harry's mind and his movements faltered. Louis noticed and pulled back, a look of uncertainty on his face. "Harry?"

"Why do you get so nervous when performing?" Harry questioned, his eyes darting back and forth between Louis'. Louis' face went pale and he turned forward, twiddling his thumbs together.

"Isn't it normal to get nervous?" He said shakily. Harry shook his head.

"Your agent mentioned something about it. He said you refused to do any concerts when your career first started."

Louis didn't meet Harry's gaze. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his legs, resting his chin on the palms of his hands. "I...feel like I'm not good enough, that I don't have a good voice. I was crap when I first auditioned but they gave me a chance. Even then, I still have that insecurity that I'm not good enough." His eyes quivered and he clenched his fists. "No one knows this except my agent and Phil...but I lip-sync in performances."

Harry's eyes widened.

Louis blinked the moisture in his eyes away, turning his head to the window. "I know you probably think I'm a joke now. That's why my agent is so strict with me - if I get caught lip-syncing then I would lose tons of fans and the press would hound me until I disappeared altogether. I can tell you I actually went in a recording studio and sang those songs but they've been auto tuned. I do it so people would believe I'm good at singing. I honestly think I have a terrible voice and sometimes wonder why I auditioned for the X Factor when I'm not even good at what I do."

Harry was speechless. He never knew Louis felt that way, but it all made sense how he was acting before the performance. Louis didn't warm up because he didn't need to. Louis acted the way he did because it was to cover up his insecurity. When they were texting Louis had made a clear point that he didn't want to talk about his career and now Harry knew why.

Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' shoulders and pulled him closer. Louis tried to scoot away but Harry had a firm grip on him. He buried his face in Louis' hair. "Why do you feel that way?"

Louis hesitated. "It...was when I was in the top twenty. I was practicing for that week and my pitch was a bit off - though I had improved tremendously. Some other contestants were walking by and they listened to me for a bit before telling me how much I sucked. They said I shouldn't even be here and I would never have a career as a solo artist." He bit his lip and added softly, "I guess I showed them, right?"

"It's not about you proving yourself to them. That was a rude thing for them to say." Harry said, looking at Louis' shaky gaze. "I'm so sorry."

Louis shook his head. "Don't be, it's the truth so I can't be angry. I just almost wish I hadn't signed that contract...I'm all talk and no talent."

"Louis, stop." Harry pleaded. "Don't talk about yourself like that. You have to be good at singing or else they wouldn't have given you a chance."

Louis smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make the mood foul. I never wanted to talk about my career for this reason." He slowly looked at Harry. "I wanted you to like me."

"Louis, I would've liked you regardless if you were famous or not." Harry frowned. "That day you walked into the bakery I knew you were something special. I can honestly say I'd never heard of you until Niall told me about you."

Louis pursed his lips. "Yeah, well, goes to show how far my 'talent' has gotten me."

Harry pulled Louis' head to his shoulder, hushing him. He rubbed soothing circles on his thigh and Louis sighed.

"Sometimes I just feel so worthless. Like what am I doing this for? I've lost sight of my goal." His voice was frail as he rubbed his eyes. Harry looked down at him empathetically.

"Hey, tell you what."

Louis looked up at Harry with glossy eyes.

"We have a nice dinner, go back to the hotel, and just mess around. Forget about your career and your lip-syncing," Harry stroked his cheek softly, "just be normal for a day. We can stay in tomorrow."

A tear slipped out of Louis' eye and he wiped it away quickly, nodding. "Okay."

XxX

Louis woke up the next morning with his nose buried in Harry's hair. He smiled, nuzzling further into it. After last night, he was positively head-over-heels for Harry. He was everything Louis had ever wanted. The fact that he had listened and didn't try to put down what Louis was saying but rather talked through it with him was more than enough for Louis' feelings to deepen. He wanted to stay in bed like this forever with Harry. He didn't want to think about the repercussions once they went back to their everyday lives. Louis still had this entire week with Harry so he wanted to make the most out of it.

Louis pulled away from Harry and sat up against the headboard, combing through Harry's curls gently. He sat like that for a while until Phil knocked quietly, earning Louis' attention. Phil raised his eyebrows and Louis shook his head. Phil nodded and shut the door silently as he walked out.

Louis' gaze trailed back down to the sleeping boy and he couldn't keep a smile off of his face. He sunk back down into the covers and pressed light kisses all along his neck. He felt Harry stir and he backed away.

Harry's blinked groggily as he turned his head around. He gave a delirious smile to Louis.

"Hi."

"Hi," Louis responded, a smile on his lips. "how'd you sleep?"

"Great. I think waking up was better though." Harry turned his body so he was now facing Louis. Louis smiled and brushed the hair away from Harry's forehead.

"What do you want to do today?"

Harry groaned and rolled to his back. "Stay in bed. I swear that food had tryptophan in it or something."

Louis chuckled, laying on Harry's chest. "Probably. You can't trust the French."

Harry gave Louis a weird look then started laughing. Louis grinned in amusement - he loved the sound of Harry's laugh. It rumbled deep in his chest before it was heard. He always got this look on his face when he was trying to hold back his laughter but in the end always let it out.

"Want to watch a movie?" Louis questioned after Harry's laughter died down. Harry nodded.

"Sure, I just want to shower first." He pressed a kiss to Louis' forehead before rolling out of bed.

Louis smirked. "Mind if I join?"

Harry stuck his tongue out playfully and closed the bathroom door. Louis chuckled and shook his head, getting a movie from his case of DVD's he carried around with him. A few minutes later, Harry came out of the shower wearing sweat pants and a white t-shirt. Louis smiled, Harry looked attractive in anything he wore.

Louis went and had his own shower and the cool water felt good on his limbs that were aching. When he got out, he put on clothes and opened the door, seeing Harry lying on the bed looking at his phone. Louis smiled.

Harry looked up from his phone. "How was it?"

"Refreshing." Louis answered, crawling up next to him. Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders and Louis pressed play. Harry looked at him skeptically.

"Moulin Rouge?"

Louis nodded. "I thought it'd be fitting since we're here. Just bear with me, the beginning is a bit strange." Louis said amused. Harry looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

After Louis had Phil order some room service, he pointed to the television. "Just watch."

Harry turned to his attention to the film. He'd never even heard of this movie. It started out with a man leading an orchestra in front of a curtain and so it didn't seem too wacky at first. The more the movie went on, though, he felt he was on the same drug as Christian and the Bohemians.

Harry couldn't stop laughing at the part when Satine was trying to seduce Christian whilst he recited poetry then broke out into song. Louis would occasionally quote a few of Christian's lines, especially the one where he said, "love is like oxygen; love is a many splendored thing - love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!" It made Harry so relaxed to see that he was being himself. The characters reminded him so much of him and Louis. He really liked this movie no matter how much the visual effects seemed to be on an acid trip.

"We could be heroes!" Louis belted out, sitting up and flinging his arms out to the side. He looked at Harry and grinned. "Just for one day."

Harry grinned like an idiot. It warmed his heart to hear Louis sing without any restrictions. He wasn't lip-syncing, he wasn't in front of a big crowd, he was here with just Harry, and he trusted him enough to sing. Harry thought his natural voice was beautiful and unique - he couldn't understand why Louis hated it so much.

"We should be lovers, and that's a fact!" Louis continued. He sang Satine's part. "Though nothing will keep us together," Harry smiled as Louis was now straddling him, his hands on his shoulders, "we could steal time just for one day."

He didn't finish singing the song because he kissed Harry. Harry pulled Louis' hips closer and they moved against each other. The movie simply turned into background noise as they got lost in the moment. The feeling was so urgent but admiring - Harry wasn't able to put it into exact words. Louis already meant everything to him and he never wanted Louis out of his life. Louis eventually pulled back and let out a small giggle.

"Sorry...got a bit carried away there."

Harry gave him a big smile. "It's quite alright."

"My mum and I always used to watch this so it's one of my favorite movies." Louis smiled, caressing Harry's cheek gently. "That's my favorite part."

"I can tell." Harry hummed and pressed another soft kiss to Louis' lips. He responded immediately but then rolled off of Harry.

"You can't miss anything! This is the best part!" Louis huffed, pointing to the telly. Harry pressed a kiss to his forehead and continued watching.

After another hour and a half the movie finally ended. Louis was in tears and Harry was sitting in shock. After everything Satine and Christian had been through - the lying, the sneaking, the undeniable love, the sickness - it just had to end like that?

"Wow." Harry breathed as the credits rolled. Louis crawled to the bottom of the bed - Harry totally wasn't staring at his bum the whole way - and ejected the disk. He sighed.

"Every time." Louis rubbed his eyes. "I swear the ending gets me every time!"

"Really? I'd say it's where Harold told them they couldn't be together." Harry leaned on one arm, watching as Louis put the disk back in the portable case. "That or when they were singing Roxanne. She didn't love the Duke and Christian had to pretend he didn't love her."

Louis shrugged. "Oh well, it all ends shit anyway." He crawled back up the bed with a predatory look in his eye and Harry was unsure where this was going. Louis crawled on top of him and laid down, snuggling into his chest. "I'm never leaving."

He stretched dramatically and Harry playfully shoved Louis off to the side, making him pout.

"That wasn't niiiiice!" He whined. Harry laughed and Louis' fake pout dropped as he smiled. "Do you want to go somewhere? I feel stuffy in here."

"Whatever you want to do." Harry kissed his temple and Louis chuckled, getting up.

"Let's walk around the city. I want to visit some of the shops they have around here."

Harry looked at himself in the mirror once he got ready. Louis always dressed nice no matter what so he tried to go for something more appealing. He was wearing a gray plaid shirt over a white v-neck underneath with black pants and his converse. He didn't bring much to wear so he hoped it sufficed for today. He walked out of the bathroom and Louis' eyes lit up when he saw him.

"You look great."

Harry smiled sheepishly. "Thanks, I tried."

Louis stood on his toes and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck. "I think you look great in anything you wear."

Harry leaned forward and kissed him gently. Louis tugged on Harry's shirt to pull him closer then pushed him down on the bed. Harry was sitting up at first, but eventually Louis gently pressed him onto his back. His hands were on both sides of Harry's head and he brushed the curls away from his forehead. Harry pulled his neck closer as they met in the middle.

Their lips moved against each other's ravenously and their bodies moved in rhythm. The speed picked up and Harry sucked in a breath as Louis' hand made its way up his shirt, caressing his side. Louis squeezed his side as he bit Harry's lip, eliciting a small moan from the boy underneath him. An arousing throb hit Louis in the chest and he mashed his lips against Harry's; his grip getting tighter on his side.

Harry's chest constricted as Louis' lips trailed down his neck, slowly letting his teeth tease the flesh. Harry's breath was uneven as Louis' hand that was squeezing his side caressed the top of his jeans, slowly tugging at the top button. Harry's back arched as Louis' lips attached to his skin and he undid the top button. Harry let out a ragged squeak and his chest heaved up and down. Louis' mouth detached from his neck and his head hovered over Harry's, seeing his eyes clenched shut and his body tense. Louis' breath hitched in the back of his throat, causing him to pull away and take a few steps back. Harry was breathing deeply as he blinked and sat up. He was still breathing heavily and gathered his composure before frowning.

"Louis?"

"I-I'm sorry, I went too far." He spluttered, pacing to each corner of the room. Harry's eyes quivered in concern.

"What, no-"

"I'm sorry." Louis ran an exasperated hand through his hair, facing away from Harry. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yes Louis, I'm fine." Harry redid his top button and stood up, walking toward Louis but he repelled from his touch. "What's wrong?"

Louis was silent. It felt like minutes before he said in a shrill tone, "Don't hate me."

Harry felt heartbroken. "Oh, Lou," He wrapped his arms around him. "I couldn't ever hate you. You didn't hurt me, everything is fine."

Louis tried to pry out of Harry's embrace but Harry held on tight. He turned Louis around so he was facing him and kissed him. Louis pulled away and avoided his gaze.

"You looked scared. I didn't think I could ever do that to someone." He slowly let his eyes trail up to Harry. "I don't ever want to see you like that again."

Harry kissed his forehead softly. "It's okay Lou. We don't have to do that again. We were caught in the moment and I was surprised. You didn't hurt me and I definitely don't hate you."

Louis pursed his lips. "Okay. Do you want to go to the shops now?"

Harry smiled. "Of course I do." He leaned down to kiss him softly. Louis responded this time, but kept it brief.

They alerted Phil that they were going to walk around town and he called a cab for them. By the time they got to the lobby, the car was waiting and they got in. A few minutes later they were dropped off and Louis took Harry's hand in his own, smiling as they made their way around town.

They stopped in a few antique shops since Harry had mentioned he was interested in old things. Harry had been turning to show Louis something and knocked over an expensive vase. The shop owner was furious and insisted they pay for it, but Louis got Phil on the phone and had her talked out of it. Harry was completely mortified to the point of crying while Louis was trying to hold back his giggling. An old lady yelling profanities in French was rather comical to him but Harry didn't find it as funny. She kicked them out of the shop and ultimately they dubbed visiting antique shops off limits.

They had stopped and gotten a cup of black tea and their affection grew with their spiked energy. It seemed every ten seconds Louis would press a kiss to Harry's forehead or whisper something into his ear. Harry was flustered either way since he had never experienced showing anything in public. Louis teased him by touching his butt as he walked by and Harry would flare his nostrils at him in a cute way. Louis did it in all good fun; his feelings for Harry were growing deeper and deeper each day.

"Lou, look at this!"

Louis turned his head and set down the keychain he held in his hand. Harry had a small laser cube of the Eiffel Tower cupped in his hands. His eyes were gleaming and Louis had to tear his eyes away from Harry's beautiful face to look at the cube.

"You like that?"

Harry nodded eagerly. He looked on the bottom for the price tag and his face instantly fell. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and counted his money, frowning. "It's too expensive."

"I'll get it for you-"

"No! I don't want you to keep buying me everything. You've already bought me a suit." Harry huffed. "Please. Don't buy my anything else."

Louis frowned and cupped his hands over Harry's with the laser cube in the middle. "Harry, if you want it I can get it for you. I don't mind, I have a ton of money, if you didn't catch that."

Harry chuckled bitterly. "I know you do. But I don't want to keep mooching off of you. It's okay, I'll just get something less expensive. I wanted to get my mum and Gemma a souvenir so I need to save my money." Harry put the glass cube back on the shelf and went to the other side of the store. Louis watched him and then looked back at the cube and frowned.

Harry had bought Anne and Gemma something small and they left the shop. Louis had also bought something for Phil since he felt Phil deserved it. He put up with Louis and his shenanigans so Louis felt obligated to show his gratitude. With the glass cube forgotten, they walked around the city for a while, occasionally stopping to takes pictures or get ice cream and sit on a park bench. When they went back to the apartment, Phil had gotten them dinner and they hadn't realized they'd been gone that long. After they ate, Louis came out of the bathroom and saw Harry staring at his phone with a blank expression on his face. Louis frowned and sat next to him.

"Haz, is something wrong?"

"I miss my mum." He said, his eyebrows furrowing.

"...Oh." Louis was speechless. "You haven't been able to call her, have you?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I don't want to give my mum a huge phone bill, that's not fair to her. But I bet she's worried sick about me. It's been four days."

Louis interlocked his fingers together and stared ahead at the television blankly. Harry wasn't used to traveling all over so of course he missed his family. Louis hadn't thought of that - but he guessed when Harry had been buying souvenirs for his family that he started to miss them then. Harry bounced his phone in his fingers then put it to the side of him, sighing.

"I'm also worried about Niall. I feel like he'll hate me when I get back."

Louis internally growled. He really didn't like Niall and he hadn't been nice to Louis the moment he heard of him. Louis draped his arm around Harry's shoulders and he pulled Harry close, pushing aside his irritation for Niall.

"Hey, it's okay. He's your best friend, I'm sure he'll forgive you."

Harry sighed with annoyance. "He doesn't like you. He thinks you're bad news and didn't think coming to France was a good idea-" Louis rolled his eyes.

"It's obvious Harry, he likes you."

Harry scrunched his eyebrows, giving Louis a look of incredulity. "What?"

"You heard me." Louis snapped. "Think about it, the moment I'm brought up he gets defensive. You said he never spoke highly of me to begin with."

Harry shook his head, trying to process what Louis had previously said. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean he likes me-"

"Look at the signs, Harry." Louis' blue eyes burned into Harry. "He likes you."

Harry stared back with equally as much intensity. "Is that why you're jealous?"

Louis raised his eyebrows up and down with a forced smiled on his face. Harry leaned back on the couch.

"This is complicated."

"You're telling me." Louis leaned forward. "So what are you going to do? Will things change?"

"I don't know." Harry admitted, shaking his head. "I think I'm going to ask Niall if that's true."

"He's going to deny it." Louis scoffed. "He wouldn't want to ruin his 'friendship' with you."

Harry scowled. "I need to ask you something."

"Does it have to do with Niall?"

"No."

"Then go for it."

"Do you care about Eleanor?"

Louis was taken aback. He scowled. "What do you mean?"

"Just do you care about her."

"Of course I do, Harry."

"Then why are you here with me?" His eyes quivered, darting back and forth between Louis' eyes. "Why not her instead?"

"Because I don't love her!" Louis raged, standing up. Harry scooted to the other side of the couch. "Yes, I care about her but I don't love her. She's just a cover up!"

"A cover up?" Harry asked incredulously. "What...What do you mean?"

"Harry, I'm gay. I have never been straight. My management told me in order to sell albums I have to appear a certain way. If I was gay then my ratings would go down, girls wouldn't like me, I wouldn't get money, it's all politics." Louis stayed in place before huffing and began pacing around the room. He ran a hand through his hair and put his hands over his eyes. "But Eleanor doesn't know any of this."

"How?" Harry chided. "You've been with her for years now and she doesn't know?"

"It's called acting, Harry! I'm terrible to her and she's a bitch to me but I have to stay with her in order to have a certain image. I'm taking a huge risk having you here with me, I hope you know."

Harry stood up. "Of course I know that. That's why I'm asking why you brought me here."

Louis faltered. "It's because I-" He closed his mouth and opened it again, but sighed. "Never mind. Just know that it's because I'd rather be here with you than Eleanor. I like you a lot, Harry. I'm sorry I had to lie to you in the beginning."

Harry's eyes raked Louis' expression for any lying but he didn't find any. Louis truly looked upset and frustrated. Harry ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"So you don't love Eleanor?"

"No." Louis' gaze tremored. "I don't."

Harry nodded, accepting that answer. He could only trust what Louis said was true and hoped he wouldn't regret it later.

After a few minutes of silence, they apologized and put in a Disney movie and laid on the couch together. Louis toyed with Harry's hair absentmindedly and before the movie ended they fell asleep. Louis was holding Harry close and their breathing was in sync.

Phil walked into the hotel and spotted them on the couch. He quietly shut off the television and draped a soft blanket over both of them. He smiled at the sight of them and retired to his bedroom.

XxX


	10. Chapter 10

XxX

The week passed quicker than Louis had liked. It was now Friday and he was dreading the day Harry had to fly back home. He had to fly south to Italy next so he was excited for that but he wanted Harry to come with him. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle being away from him for longer than five minutes. This past week they had grown closer and Louis was nervous that once Harry went back home that he would change his mind about Louis and dump him. His anxiety was going through the roof just at the mere thought of Harry leaving.

Louis' phone rang on the counter and his attention was brought to it. Anyone that ever called him was nearby so he didn't understand who would be calling him. He looked at it skeptically before picking up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lou, it's Zayn."

"Zayn! I haven't heard from you in a while!" Louis said cheerfully, fixing his posture. "How's it going?"

"Good, I'm in France with Perrie right now. I heard you were there as well."

"Seriously? What's the occasion for?" Louis questioned.

"I figured I owed her an apology for everything that had happened this past month. She actually broke up with me but after a week I begged her to talk to me."

"You never told me any of this!" Louis exclaimed, feeling a slight pang of offense. Zayn was his best friend, why hadn't he said anything?

"You never answered your phone."

Oh. He could hear the underlying tone of hurt in Zayn's voice now. That had been a pivotal point in his and Perrie's relationship and Louis had completely blanked it. He had been so caught up with Harry and his career that he had forgotten about everything else.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it."

"It's chill. But listen, Perrie and I wanted to go out to dinner tonight so would you like to join us?"

Louis smiled. "Yeah, Harry's with me if you don't mind him coming too."

"Harry's with you?" Zayn sounded shocked. Louis blinked.

"...Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No, I just didn't know he was there with you. Things are going well then?"

"Yes, very well actually." He said cockily.

"Have you two done it yet?"

Louis' face instantly flushed at the thought. "Zayn!"

He chuckled on the other line. "It was just a question! It's not every day you take some random guy to France!"

"I'll talk to you more about it at dinner." Louis muttered. "I hope Perrie doesn't mind company."

"Nah, she'll love him." Zayn said sweetly. "I'll text you the time and location. Remember to dress nice."

He hung up and Louis shook his head hopelessly. That was quite a bombshell - to hear that Zayn and Perrie had broken up and got back together. Zayn was always one to over-dramatize things so of course he took Perrie to France after they got back together. That's just how he was. Zayn loved Perrie deeply and Louis could tell by the way he talked about her and how he treated her like a queen.

Harry walked out of the bedroom fixing his hair and Louis' face lit up. He clung to Harry and kissed his forehead.

"We're going to dinner with Zayn and his girlfriend."

Harry pulled away and raised his eyebrows. "Zayn?"

"My best friend."

"What time?"

"Dunno yet. He's sending me all the details." Louis' phone buzzed a few moments later and he opened the text, reading it.

"Who's his girlfriend?" Harry questioned.

"Her name is Perrie Edwards. I've only met her a few times but she's a nice bird." Louis texted Zayn back, thanking him for the invite. Harry rested his chin on Louis' shoulder and watched him text.

"Does Zayn know about Eleanor?" He asked absentmindedly.

Louis looked at Harry then looked back down. "Yes. He's actually the one that I go to when we're in a fight."

"Do you fight a lot?"

Louis smiled and pinched Harry's cheek. "You ask a lot of questions, love." He kissed Harry and he frowned.

"I'm just wondering. I'm still confused about all of this."

Louis' thumb caressed Harry's cheek. "I know, and I'm sorry. Tonight I'll make it up to you with that dinner. And afterwards I have a little surprise for you too." He grinned and Harry raised his eyebrow questioningly.

"What is it?"

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise!" Louis exclaimed, seeing Harry's face go stoic.

"Louis..."

"On second thought, maybe I'll give it to you another time. Tonight doesn't seem right..." Louis pretended to be thinking and Harry poked his side.

"That's not fair."

Louis flinched away. "H-Hey, let's not tickle me now. It's not good for my figure."

Harry gave him a disapproving look and grabbed Louis' side, making him squeal and run to the other side of the island. Harry chased him around, their socks making them slip around corners, until they ended up in the living room. Louis tried to jump across the back of the couch but Harry tackled him, both landing on the cushions. They were both laughing and their lungs were shot from the lack of air. Once their laughter died down, they lied next to each other and stared into each others eyes. Louis was absentmindedly trailing his fingers up and down Harry's arms.

"I'm glad you're here, Haz." He said truthfully. "I've had a great time and I wouldn't want anyone else to be with me."

Harry almost blushed at the compliment. "Well it's thanks to you that I'm here."

Louis' fingers faltered and he pulled Harry close to his chest, whispering into his hair. "I don't want you to leave."

Harry breathed slowly and closed his eyes, taking in Louis' scent. He smelled like roses and a faint hint of cologne. It was an unexpected smell but it fit him perfectly. Harry pulled out of Louis' embrace and kissed him sweetly.

"I'm not going anywhere. After this I'll go back home and be normal again."

Louis frowned and tapped his nose. "Hey, don't say that you're just a normal person when you mean the world to me."

Harry stared into Louis' eyes. There was so much passion hidden inside of them and Harry had only grazed the surface of it. There was still so much about Louis he didn't know, but the past week they had come milestones. Louis had finally admitted why Harry was here. For the past week that was all he had wanted to know.

XxX

Louis and Harry were standing at the entrance of the restaurant Zayn had given them the address to. They were both wearing their pinstripe suits from a few nights ago and Harry kept fidgeting with his suit coat. Louis swatted Harry's hands away from his tie that Louis had bought him. It was dark green with white stripes and Louis thought it brought out the color of Harry's eyes very well.

"Stop, you're making it worse."

"But I'm nervous." He whined. "Zayn is your best friend. What if he doesn't like me?"

"Oh he likes you." Louis mumbled under his breath, fixing Harry's tie. "Trust me."

"Louis!"

Louis turned his head and saw Zayn walking towards them with Perrie by his side, their hands intertwined together. Louis face brightened and him and Zayn embraced in a hug.

"Good to see you, man! I haven't seen you in a long time!" Zayn said cheerfully.

"Well I have been traveling a bit!" Louis said, turning to Perrie. "You look lovely as always."

"Thank you." She smiled. Hers and Zayn's gaze traveled to Harry and he suddenly felt scrutinized under both of their looks.

"You must be Harry." Zayn outstretched his hand and Harry took it graciously as he looked over his features. Harry's eyes widened as he swallowed slowly.

Damn, Zayn is hot.

"Yes, that's me. I've heard a lot about you." Harry smiled.

"All good things, I hope." Zayn chuckled, casting Louis a look. "Our reservation is at seven. We should be alright to go in."

Louis nodded and held the door open and they all walked through. He grasped Harry's hand as they stood in the front and Zayn briefly glanced at them before going up to the hostess.

"Reservation for Malik."

She nodded. "Right this way." They all followed her and Harry looked up wondrously at the interior as they walked to their table. Perrie and Zayn were seated next to each other while Harry sat next to Louis. Louis tapped Harry's thigh reassuringly and smiled.

"So Harry, I've only heard a bit about you." Zayn said as glass cups full of water were placed on their table. "Where do you come from?"

"Cheshire, Holmes Chapel to be exact." He answered.

Zayn nodded. "How did you and Louis meet exactly?"

Louis and Harry cast each other a comical glance. Louis held back his laughter as Harry turned back to Zayn. "Well, I was working in the bakery and Louis came in with Eleanor. He was flirting up a storm but had to stop because Eleanor came back."

Perrie giggled and Zayn looked amused. "Typical. Continue."

"Well a month later, Louis requested a radio broadcast in Cheshire just to see me. I happened to be working again and he asked for my number and took me to the interview with him." Harry's held back his smile. "And from there everything just sort of fell into place."

Zayn stroked his chin musingly. "Strange how quickly that happened. Louis must be pretty serious about you if he remembered you after a month."

Louis looked flustered at the comment but brushed it off. Harry sent him a grin.

"He's pretty great."

Louis waved Harry off and picked up his menu. "Zayn, tell Harry a little about yourself. I mentioned you once."

"Once? I should feel offended." Zayn said, taking a sip of his water. "Well, my dad owns businesses across the world, so we're well off economically. I'm the second oldest out of three sisters. I met Perrie at a singing camp when we were sixteen and from there we clicked. By the time camp had ended we were already official; we've been together ever since." He smiled at her and she sent him a cheeky look.

Harry admired the way Zayn talked about Perrie. He could tell that he cared for her very much and they had been though their fair share of hardships. Louis looked at Harry from the side, watching his expression carefully.

The waiter came back up to their table. "Are you all ready to order?"

They nodded and she wrote down their order. Harry was surprised by Louis' order since it mostly consisted of meat and he usually had something light. Before she walked away, Louis stopped her.

"Excuse me, but can we get a bottle of red wine with that?"

"Yes sir." She said, walking away. Harry gave Louis a quizzical look.

"Why red wine?"

"It's a bit stronger than white wine and it goes better with meat. I'll let you try some, I'm sure you'll like it." He answered, taking a drink of his water. Harry looked at Perrie and Zayn and shrugged.

They all engaged in casual conversation - Harry told Zayn and Perrie a little about himself then Perrie talked about herself. The farther the night progressed, the more envious he became of her. He saw the tiny glances Zayn sent her way and how he always teased her lightly. He only spoke highly of her and made sure she was enjoying herself. Harry also noted that Louis seemed very disengaged as he sipped on his red wine. He had gone through almost half the bottle and Harry was beginning to worry.

"Lou, are you sure you haven't had too much to drink?"

"Nope." He deadpanned, holding his glass out to Harry. "Try some!"

"I already have."

"Then drink more!"

"Louis, I think you've had enough." Zayn went to take the bottle away but Louis snatched it before Zayn could grab it.

"Mine."

Zayn rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Harry. "How is it?" He gestured to his plate of food.

"It's brilliant," He said, watching as Louis attempted to fill his glass back up with wine. He slipped the bottle out of Louis' grasp and poured some in his own glass. Louis made a grabbing motion for the bottle but Harry set it on the other side of the table. "I've never tasted anything quite as good."

"Harrryyyyy give it back."

They all ignored Louis. "I'm glad. Perrie and I had a falling out so I wanted to make it up to her. I'm honestly shit with anything else but gifts so I hope this does it." Zayn smiled at Perrie and lightly kissed her on the cheek. She smiled and so did Harry. Louis' head was hung to the side as he pitifully reached for the wine bottle.

"No, Louis, you've had enough." Harry scolded. Louis pouted.

"But Haaroolddd."

"You're deluded." He snorted. "I'm not going to feel remorse for you when you have a killer hangover tomorrow."

"I'm still sane, I'm just a bit tipsy." Louis bobbed his head back and forth. "Red wine is a lot stronger."

"He's quite a sight when he's drunk." Zayn piped up. "He's either off the walls dramatic or like this."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What does it mean when he's like this?"

"That there's something on his mind." Zayn looked at his friend who was examining his nails daintily. "Judging by his reaction to everything it must be pretty serious."

"I'm fine." Louis groaned. "My head is just hurting."

"Which is why I'm not allowing you to drink anymore." Harry took a sip of his own wine. He felt the bitterness bite at his tongue and his mind was starting to buzz. It felt good so he took a long drink, feeling the spark intensify. He poured another glass and Louis watched as he did so.

"No fair. Why do you get another one?"

"Because I'm not drunk yet." Harry said, taking a drink of it. The taste was numbing his senses - he liked the feeling of it. His tongue was tingling and his brain was becoming fuzzy. He sent a goofy grin to Louis. "Okay, maybe a little."

"I'll call a cab." Zayn pulled out his phone and dialed a number, talking to someone on the other end. Louis and Harry stared at each other with stupid grins on their faces for a long time with nothing in their brains. Perrie held back her laughter as she took a drink of her water.

"Your cab will be here in five. Hopefully you two make it up the lift." Zayn wiped his mouth and set his napkin on his plate. He stood up and walked to the other side of the table, helping Louis stand up. "It was nice seeing you again."

"You too Zaynie!" Louis exclaimed loudly, earning the attention from nearby customers. He hugged Zayn tightly and he laughed.

"Yeah, you'll definitely have to tell me how this hangover feels tomorrow."

"I will!" Louis said, taking a last drink of his water before wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Are you ready Hazza bear?"

He nodded mutely and Zayn and Perrie guided them out of the restaurant so they wouldn't trip over tables and chairs. They all stood outside and Zayn and Perrie waited for their cab with them. When it came, Zayn bid them goodbye and Louis waved halfheartedly before rolling up the window. They were driven to their hotel where Phil met them outside. He frowned when Louis and Harry stepped out of the car.

"Have you two been drinking?"

"What makes you think that?" Louis asked loudly.

"I'll take that as a yes." Phil helped them walk through the doors and up the lift. They both felt sick when it moved upwards but once it stopped moving they felt better. Phil helped them into their designated rooms and Harry just collapsed on the bed, too tired to do anything.

The feeling in his brain was euphoric. He couldn't keep a smile off of his face. The way his brain was fuzzy, his tongue was numb, and his arms and legs were tingly was arousing. He felt this endless wave of happiness shooting through every nerve in his body. Harry sat up and took his shoes off, taking his suit off and attempting to fold it nicely before dropping it in the corner. He couldn't even count his fingers so he wasn't going to try and put his suit on a hanger.

"Harry..."

He looked to his doorway and saw Louis leaning against the door frame. He was only in pajama pants and Harry felt his stomach swirl. Louis closed the door and approached him, placing a sloppy kiss on his lips.

"I'm horny."

Harry let out a hearty laugh. "What do you want me to do about it?"

Louis let out a groan and pushed Harry down on the bed, trailing his fingers up Harry's torso. "I want you."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, trying to comprehend what Louis was saying. "Louis-"

Louis cut him off by pressing his mouth to Harry's neck. He let out a slow breath and it sent shivers down Harry's body. Louis ran his teeth up the side of Harry's neck until it reached his jaw. He pressed his nose into Harry's ear and let out a breath. Harry gripped the covers of the bed trying to hold himself back.

"Come up here." Louis nuzzled Harry to move to the top of the bed. He did so and Louis crawled towards him slowly. Harry gulped as he felt the pressure in his lower region intensify. His fuzzy mind along with the feelings Louis was arousing inside of him was sending him over the edge. Louis pressed his lips to Harry's harshly and tugged at his curls. Harry quickly responded by pulling Louis so he was straddling him. They kissed fiercely and Harry cupped Louis' bum, eliciting a muffled moan from him.

Louis pulled back and yanked at Harry's waistband. Louis sat up on his knees as Harry kicked off his pajama pants and was left only in briefs. Louis' eyes raked every inch of Harry's body before taking off his own pajama pants. He slowly trailed his fingers down Harry's torso past his belly-button and paused, making Harry fidget. His hands were resting on Louis' legs and he was staring at Louis' hands apprehensively. Louis slowly let his gaze trail up to Harry's glazed green eyes.

"Do you want me to stop?" Louis whispered hoarsely. Harry held his gaze and slowly shook his head. Louis swallowed and began to slide Harry's briefs down his thighs.

Louis stared at Harry in all his glory. His brain couldn't register what he was currently experiencing. His adrenaline kicked in and he pulled off his own boxers and grasped Harry's length. Harry let out a grunt but he was breathless as Louis' hand slowly stroked up and down. Harry's back arched as he felt himself harden even more. Louis leaned down and kissed Harry gently then moved his mouth down to his neck. Harry's pulse raced as Louis' speed increased.

Their breaths were gruff as they moved against each other. Their bodies fell in rhythm and their chests heaved. Harry felt euphoric under Louis' touch. He let out a moan as Louis stroked harder and faster. His toes curled together, feeling the pressure in his abdomen build up. It suddenly burst and Harry let out a cry of bliss. Louis fell on top of him, breathing heavily.

They sat there for an unknown amount of time basking in the aftermath. Their bodies were glazed with sweat and their pulses were still erratic. Louis briefly lifted his head to kiss Harry's temple before rolling off of him and letting his mind blank into darkness.

XxX

Louis blinked as the sunlight hit his eyes. He groaned as he rolled over, draping his arm over his forehead. When he opened his eyes, he knew he was in his room but something felt different. There was a presence next to him and he turned his head to see Harry asleep. There was a cool breeze coming in from the window hitting him in places that would usually be covered. There was a sticky substance on his stomach and he touched it tentatively before it registered in his brain. He shot upright and threw the remaining covers off of his feet, making Harry stir.

"Oh shit!"

XxX

Louis and Harry were sitting at opposite sides of the couch in a deathly silence. Louis was leaned forward and had his eyes hidden in his hands and Harry sat with his hands in his lap, looking straight ahead with no expression. After they had both taken separate showers, they couldn't find the motivation to even eat breakfast. Louis had sat down on the opposite side of the couch and they had no idea how long they had been sitting there in silence but the awkward tension was eating them alive.

"Harry." Louis started quietly. Harry looked over at him. "Um...do you...exactly remember what happened last night?"

"No." Harry frowned, trying to recall. "We both got drunk."

"And woke up naked." Louis pressed the sides of his head, feeling a headache come on. "I don't think we went all the way or else we would've been sore this morning."

"Yeah." Harry muttered, thinking to his backside. It definitely felt quite content so he was at least relieved for that.

Louis sighed and shook his head, standing up. "Okay, I'm just going to be honest. I feel awkward. Do you want to forget about this ever happening or what?"

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. Did he want to forget? He wasn't sure that he did - this was a pivotal point in their new relationship and Harry didn't know what to do. What did this mean for their relationship? Were they going to break off this 'fling' they were having when Harry went back home?

"No...I don't think I'd want to forget." Harry said awkwardly. Louis gazed at him. "I'd rather move on and go from here."

Louis sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You're right." He slowly sat next to Harry, looking at him. "Do you regret it?"

Harry was silent. He was looking at the floor and shook his head. "No, I don't."

Louis wasn't sure whether to be angry or relieved. He reached his hand to put it on Harry's back but stopped and awkwardly put it on the back of the couch instead. "So...you wanted to go home Sunday?"

Harry nodded firmly. "I need to get ready for school to start again. I haven't done any homework either."

"So this is our last day together." Louis said sorrowfully. He shook his head. "What do you want to do?"

Harry shrugged halfheartedly, continuing to stare ahead blankly. Louis sucked in a breath and boldly rested his hand on Harry's back.

"Can we please not leave on a bad note? I like you a lot, Haz. I don't want this to ruin everything we have."

Harry slowly let his gaze trail to the boy next to him. Louis' eyes were pleading and Harry sat up straight, making Louis remove his hand from his back.

"I don't know what I want to happen now." Harry admitted, looking away. "I just-"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Harry's head snapped to Louis. "What?"

Louis bit his lip and twiddled his fingers together. He said slowly, "Will you, Harry Styles, be my boyfriend?"

Harry blinked rapidly. "Louis, we've only known each other for a short time-"

"Harry," Louis drawled out, "where else do we go from here? I don't want this to end now. I-" He stopped quickly, gathering all the courage he could muster. "I'm falling in love with you."

Harry's mind completely froze. His body tensed and he felt his hands go cold. Louis was staring at him intently, eyes glistening with uncertainty. Harry forced himself to swallow, though he still didn't trust his voice to come out clearly. He opened his mouth to talk, but then closed it, pressing his lips in a firm line. His mind couldn't form words, so instead, he grabbed Louis' cheeks and smashed their lips together.

Louis' eyes widened but he quickly responded by wrapping his arms around Harry's neck. Their lips moved against each others passionately and Louis pulled Harry on top of him. Harry was hovering over Louis and he brushed the hair away from Louis' forehead. He pulled away and Louis' chest was heaving; eyes glazed over.

"Is this your answer?" He asked in a small voice. Harry's eyes glinted with mischief.

"Yes."

XxX


	11. Chapter 11

XxX

Harry fiddled with the straps of his travel bag and Louis was walking next to him carrying Harry's jacket. He had a frown on his face and kept sending Harry's sorrowful glances, making Harry’s heart clench at the sight. Phil was walking a few paces behind them, observing the area.

They arrived at security and Louis sighed, sending Harry a longing look.

"Are you sure you can’t stay longer?"

Harry smiled and pressed a kiss to Louis’ lips. "Sorry darling. I'd stay if I could." Louis’ frown stayed and Harry rubbed his cheek soothingly. "I'll see you again."

"I know." Louis said, “I go to Italy tomorrow anyway, so you'd either have to come with me or go home then. I just wish we could spend the rest of today together."

Harry smiled sympathetically. He hated long goodbyes, so he didn’t want to draw it out and make it more dramatic than it needed to be. People were already staring and he wanted to get out of their scrutinizing gazes. "Me too. I have to go now." He took a step to walk away but Louis clasped onto his wrist.

"Hey, you're not leaving quite yet." Louis pulled Harry into his embrace, burying his head into his neck. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Harry pressed a sloppy kiss to the side of his head making Louis squeal. He pulled back smiling and stared into Harry's eyes. They leaned forward to kiss gently and Louis brushed the hair away from Harry's forehead. Harry felt slightly timid to show public affection since Phil was here with them and there were people around, but he was turned the opposite direction and no one seemed to be paying attention.

"I'll keep in touch." Louis said smiling. They were still in each other’s embrace. "Okay, my Satine?"

Harry pulled away and gave him a puppy-dog frown. “But I wanted to be Christian.”

Louis couldn’t contain his blissful yet sly smile. “Okay, you penniless sitar player. I’ll miss you.”

Harry gave him a cheeky grin. “Forever and ever.”

Louis kissed him deeply and afterwards Harry took his jacket, walking through security. It went fairly quick which Harry was grateful for and he was able to get one last glance at Louis once he was on the other side. They waved and Louis kissed his fingertips then held it out to Harry. He smiled and did the same, heading to his gate. He boarded the plane and took out his phone, absentmindedly staring at the blank screen. He hadn’t used it all week – he could’ve but didn’t want to force his mother to pay an expensive phone bill. He figured once he landed in England, he could call Gemma and ask her to come pick him up. Just hopefully she was free to do so or he’d have to improvise a ride.

The plane ride went smoothly. Harry sat next to a kind woman who didn't speak much but was polite. She reminded Harry of the lady he met when he arrived in France. He absentmindedly wondered how she was doing but most of his thoughts were consumed of Louis. He already missed his infectious laughter, his sharp cheekbones, his genuine personality, the shape of his torso when they hugged, the rough skin of his hands as their fingers intertwined, and the way his eyes glittered the deepest blue before their lips touched together in the middle tentatively.

The moment the plane landed, Harry was shaken out of his thoughts and he threw his carry on over his shoulder and went through the jet bridge, turning on his phone as he did so. A few moments later, his phone blew up with texts and missed calls, most of them being from Niall and Liam and even a few from Sophia. He had texts from those three as well as Gemma and his mother. He read through them all, seeing as most of them were asking if he was okay. He frowned at the sight of Niall's texts.

From: Nialler

Harry i'm sorry for what i said

From: Nialler

Plz talk to me :(

From: Nialler

Harry are u there ?

From: Nialler

Are u ignoring me on purpose ?

From: Nialler

:(

From: Nialler

Im so sorry Harry

Harry felt a pang in his chest. He and Niall left on a bad note and he wasn't able to text him. He hit 'reply', hoping that Niall would forgive him.

To: Nialler

Im sorry, I was in France all week and couldnt text. Im fine, I just landed at the airport.

He sent it and dialed his mothers number. After a few rings she picked up, frenzy apparent in her voice. Harry was worried this might happen.

"Harry! Where are you? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I promise. I'm at the airport." Harry chuckled. Of course that was the first thing she asked. He hadn't heard his mother's voice in so long and it made happiness bubble in his chest. "I kind of need a ride home."

"Okay, but on the way home you have a lot of explaining to do!"

"Yes mum." Harry shook his head playfully. He heard Gemma saying something in the background and the phone was stolen from Anne.

"Harry?!"

"Hey Gem." Harry said.

"Oh my gosh, you're actually alive! You have to tell me everything!"

Harry felt his phone buzz repeatedly signaling he received text messages. He glanced at it quickly before putting his phone back to his ear. "You'll have to come to the airport with mum then."

"Okay, we'll be there soon!" She hung up and Harry checked his messages, seeing they were from Niall.

From: Nialler

Jeez Harry ! I was so worried you have no idea !!!

From: Nialler

Can i see you when you get home ?? :(

The thought of seeing Niall made Harry cringe. He was positive Niall was mad at him and was most likely going to chew him out. After a peaceful week with Louis he was suddenly being brought back to reality. There would be consequences he would have to deal with when he got home. He frowned, sighing. He wanted to go back already.

To: Nialler

As long as you dont yell at me.

He flared his nostrils, making his way out of the depths of the airport. He waited on the sidewalk where the pick-up lane was and texted Gemma his location. His phone vibrated.

From: Nialler

As much as i want to i wont do that. I havent seen you in forever so i just want to talk.

Harry felt relieved. He understood Niall's urge to strangle him but greatly appreciated that he wasn't going to.

To: Nialler

Okay :) My mum and Gem are picking me up right now so I'll be home in a bit

From: Nialler

Im really glad ur ok Haz. I was super worried

Harry frowned at the nickname Haz. Over the week that's what Louis had called him and deemed “his” nickname for Harry, regardless if Niall came up with it first. Just the mere thought of Louis made Harry miss him again.

To: Nialler

I'll see you when i get home .x

XxX

On the ride home Harry explained everything to Anne and Gemma – leaving out the intimate details, of course – and they were in awe the entire time. He started from when he arrived at the airport and saw the sign with his name on it, telling all the way to earlier this afternoon. His mother wanted to scold him for not staying in touch, but Harry rebutted with the fact he didn't have international service and he didn't want to make his phone bill go through the roof. Gemma laughed, changing the subject to Louis. Harry explained how Louis asked him to be his boyfriend and complied. Gemma was shocked while Anne stayed silent.

"What does Niall think of this?"

Harry gave his mum a strange look. "I haven't talked to Niall since I left."

She raised her eyebrow. "Just so you know, he was worried sick. He showed up at our house a few times crying his eyes out. He said it was all his fault that you wanted to leave."

"A few? More like every night." Gemma muttered. "I swear, if people didn't know you two personally they would think he's your boyfriend instead of Louis’."

Harry's mind shot back to when he and Louis got into an argument over Niall. Louis claimed that it was obvious Niall liked Harry yet he still didn't believe it. He frowned.

"He was really that worried?"

"I don't think you understand how much what you said hurt him." Anne cast Harry a look in the rearview mirror. "He told us everything."

Harry muttered under his breath. He wasn't sure whether to be angry or feel special that Niall cared that much. He looked out the window and sighed, longing for Louis’ touch.

Anne glanced at her son in the back seat, looking at his expression. He obviously didn't want to talk about Niall so she changed the subject. "Did you have fun?" She asked.

"Yeah," A smile graced Harry's lips. "Louis is a lot of fun."

"In or outside of the bedroom?" Gemma turned around and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Harry's eyes widened and his face flushed.

"Gemma!"

Anne chuckled. "Harry, it's okay to admit that. You're old enough now."

Harry twiddled his thumbs embarrassed. He didn't want to mention anything about “accidentally” getting drunk and having Louis waking up naked beside him. The memory now made him laugh but when it had been in the midst of happening it was mortifying.

They pulled into their driveway and hopped out of the car. Harry's tension eased as he looked up at his house. This week his anxiety had always been over the roof so it was nice to finally have a break. He was taken aback when his mother hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad you're safe," She looked at him and smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Gemma and I missed you a lot. The house is much quieter with you gone."

Harry smiled genuinely. Gemma smiled at him too and they went inside.

Harry was taking his pile of dirty clothes to the laundry when he heard a knock on the door. He raised an eyebrow and set it in the washer before going and opening the door. A body was flung at him and for a moment he thought it was Louis, but when the distinctive musky cologne hit his nose he knew it was Niall.

"Harry! I'm so glad you're safe!" He said, burying his head in the crook of his neck. Harry wrapped his arms around Niall tightly, feeling out of place. He was used to Louis’ thin frame, not Niall’s.

"It's alright, I'm not dead." He said lightheartedly. Niall's glossy eyes peered at Harry.

They went up to Harry's room and sat on his bed. Niall absentmindedly toyed with the corners of Harry's pillow while Harry sat with his hands in his lap, drumming his fingers against each other. The air was awkward and tense.

"So you had fun?" Niall asked quietly. Harry cleared his throat and nodded.

"Yeah, loads."

Niall bobbed his head up and down, humming. "Things with Louis going alright?"

"Yeah." Harry said. "We um...are together now."

Niall's head snapped over to Harry. "What?"

"He's my boyfriend." Harry fumbled out. "We became official the day before I left."

Niall blinked with his mouth dropped. There were multiple emotions passing through his eyes and Harry was scared what he was going to say.

"So you two...are going out?"

Harry nodded timidly.

Niall sat back against the wall, his eyes still wide. He pursed his lips and looked down at his lap. "I see."

"Please don't be mad." Harry said quickly, putting his hand on Niall's arm. Niall's eyes trailed back to Harry. He let out a soft chuckle.

"Mad? No, I'm not mad. I just don't know what to think, is all."

Harry raised his eyebrows carefully. "So..."

"I'm glad things worked out for you two. He's lucky to have you." Niall said with a sad smile. Harry's eyebrows furrowed as his mind reverted back to his and Louis’ conversation.

"Niall, I have a question."

"What?"

"Do you..." Harry paused, trying to find the correct words. "Well, I was talking with Louis about you. He said it was obvious that you liked me, but I told him that wasn't true because we were just friends. So I want to know..." Harry didn't finish his sentence because Niall's expression revealed everything.

"How...how did he know?" Niall asked in a frail voice. Harry's heart plummeted.

"Why? When...how?"

"Harry don't freak out, please!" Niall pleaded, grabbing both of his wrists. "It started a long time ago...I just..." He sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. "I tried to convince you that I liked girls because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. At one point I did like girls but then I realized that you were better." He said sheepishly.

Harry couldn't keep the amused smile from coming onto his face. He pushed Niall's shoulder affectionately.

"Is that why you got so jealous?"

"Well...yeah." Niall scratched the back of his neck. "But obviously it didn't do anything except push you away. Besides, you and Louis are together now so I don't have a chance."

"Niall," Harry droned, "It's not that you don't have a chance it's just," He paused to take a breath, "I didn't know."

Niall shrugged. "It doesn't matter. You liked Louis since you first saw him anyway so I can't change your feelings. But if he ever hurts you I won't hesitate to kill him." Niall's eyes shone darkly. "I'm serious too."

Harry gave him a look but then pulled him into a hug. "I'm glad I have a friend like you. You're the best."

Niall smiled. "I just want you to be happy, Haz. And if Louis makes you happy then that's all that matters."

Harry let out a small sigh of relief. Well, Niall took it a lot better than Harry thought he would. For that, he was grateful.

XxX

Harry and Niall cheerfully walked into school on Monday morning. The atmosphere was good and Niall and Harry were acting normal again. Liam and Sophia approached them and asked Harry all sorts of questions. Harry gave them a brief synopsis before the bell rang. Him and Niall headed to math and they pulled out their worksheets.

"I still don't understand this stuff." Harry muttered. Niall laughed and pointed his pencil at his paper.

"But you still did it, yeah?"

"It took me ages to finish." Harry felt his phone buzz in his pocket and saw it was from Louis. His mother had finally signed him up for an international plan since she figured he would be texting Louis all around the world now. She didn’t want to pay thousands of dollars for one phone bill either. He smiled at the thought and opened it.

From: Lou

Hey Im boarding a plane to Italy now !! I miss you already :( :(

To: Lou

Miss you too x

From: Lou 

How is everything there ?

To: Lou

Fine, Niall wasnt mad at all. In fact he hardly was

From: Lou

Shocker. What did he say ?

To: Lou

He said he was happy for us. He supports our relationship

From: Lou

Wow !!!! Didnt expect that !!

To: Lou

Be nice.

"Mr. Styles, please put your phone away." The teacher scolded. Harry gave her a sheepish grin and set it in his lap. Once the teacher's glare averted to the board, he made sure she wasn't looking and quickly started a new text.

To: Lou

Also, you were right. Niall does like me.

XxX

Louis had stopped texting Harry since he boarded the plane. It was now lunchtime and he was sitting at a table with Niall, Liam, Sophia and a few of their other friends. Louis’ flight had only been a few hours so it wasn't long before he got another message. Harry’s face lit up to match the brightness of his phone.

From: Lou

Hope your day is going well :) x the plane ride was boring

To: Lou

Don't you have Phil with you?

From: Lou

Yea but he was reading the whole time. I miss you :(

To: Lou

You said that earlier

From: Lou

Its because its true! I want to bring you to Italy. Its beautiful here

To: Lou

Last time you said you wanted me to come somewhere i ended up having a plane ticket in my locker :P

From: Lou

Haha :) well just wait. Its not even the end of the day yet! I have to go do sound check, ttyl <3 x

Harry raised an eyebrow. What did Louis mean it wasn't even the end of the day yet?

"Is that Louis?" Niall asked. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, he's in Italy now."

"Is he having another concert there?" Liam asked. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, that's what he told me. I think it's for the same charity."

"That's noble of him, doing concerts for charities." Sophia said. "He must be very talented if he's going all over Europe now."

Harry bit the inside of his cheek. He remembered when they were driving to dinner and Louis confessed that he lip sang. That was a secret he could never tell anyone, not even Niall. Louis had trusted him with his deepest secret so he had to keep his promise. Niall raised his eyebrow.

"Something wrong Harry?"

He quickly shook his head and picked up his tray. "No. I'm done eating, are you coming?"

Niall nodded and followed Harry to the garbage cans. They threw their food away and Harry adjusted his knapsack as they walked out of the cafeteria. Him and Niall walked through the halls absentmindedly as they talked about random topics. Harry mentioned how him and Louis went out to dinner with Zayn, and Niall raised his eyebrow.

"What's he look like?"

Harry blinked, pulling out his phone. He searched Louis and Zayn's name and a few pictures of them popped up. He handed his phone to Niall and he looked at them intently.

"...Oh."

Harry gave him a questionable smile. "Why?"

Niall handed Harry his phone. "Back when Louis was just becoming famous he and Zayn went everywhere together. I just vaguely remember him." He said curtly. Harry chuckled.

"Whatever you say."

Niall cleared his throat and was silent for a minute. Harry remembered something and his face lit up.

"By the way, how's your song coming?"

It took Niall a few seconds for him to know what Harry was talking about. "Oh! That song. Well," Niall laughed nervously, "I haven't written anymore since you helped me with it."

"That's boring." Harry pouted. "Why not?"

Niall shrugged. "I haven't had inspiration."

Harry pursed his lips and felt himself let out a breath of relief when the bell rang to avoid the awkward conversation that had been predestined to follow. They said their goodbyes and headed to class. It droned on much longer than Harry liked, but once all his classes were over, him and Niall met by his locker. They were laughing together and Harry opened his locker, seeing a folded paper flutter to the ground. A feeling of impending doom dropped in his stomach and he picked it up, shakily opening it.

Dear Harry,

Thank you for this past week. It was very enjoyable to have you with me the whole time so I wasn't lonely :) I got this for you since I thought you'd like it but it's only small compared to what you've given me. Miss you already xx

-Lou

Harry looked in his locker and grabbed the small box. He flipped open the top and his eyes widened.

"What is it?" Niall asked warily. Harry slid it out of the box into his hands, his mouth wide open.

"It's the laser cube I wanted."

Niall raised an eyebrow, snatching the note from Harry. He read it and he covered his mouth, attempting to hide his smile.

"I had no idea he could be such a sap."

Harry stuck his tongue out and his eyes trailed back to the cube. It had the Eiffel Tower in the middle with the date of their first kiss engraved on the bottom left corner. Underneath the date it said Forever and Ever. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over it. Niall peered over the shoulder.

"Is that a special date?"

"No," Harry waved him away, trying to contain his smile. "it's not that important."

Niall shrugged, handing the note back to Harry. Harry put the note and glass cube in the box and put it in his knapsack gently. They began walking out of the school and Niall cast him aside glare.

"Relationship goals." Niall sighed dramatically and sent him an annoyed look.

Harry couldn't stop laughing.

XxX


	12. Chapter 12

XxX

It had been three weeks and each day Harry missed Louis more. Louis had traveled to Spain and Germany within that time frame since he was booking charity concerts everywhere. According to Louis' sudden uprising in fame, Harry assumed the charity was getting lots of donations and people were starting to appreciate Louis' presence in the industry. The texts got few and far between and Harry couldn't help but feel ignored. It was almost as if Louis had forgotten about him now that he had so many other people bowing at his feet and tons of girls that would gladly get with him in a heartbeat. Niall helped by talking with him about it, but still Harry craved Louis' presence.

A few times throughout the course of the weeks, Harry would find a small present in his locker. Most of the time it was flowers with a small letter but other times it would be gift cards or other small souvenirs Louis bought from a certain country. The mere fact that Louis was touring around the continent and still making sure Harry knew how much he valued him made Harry internally squeal at how adorable he was. Louis was honestly the most thoughtful person ever and Harry could fully admit he was completely and utterly in love with the fool. Rumors started to speculate that Harry had a secret admirer but he didn't pay attention to them. He already knew who it was and he loved every minute of it.

After a particularly hellish day and no word from Louis in days, he met up with Niall after school tired and upset. Niall frowned but didn't say anything since he could tell Harry didn't want to talk about it. He knew it had to do with Louis and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Why don't you text him?" Niall offered, hoping to lift Harry's spirits only slightly.

"I've sent him a text this morning." He replied, spinning the dial on his locker. He swung it open and his eyebrows scrunched when he saw his books were knocked over. There were flowers sitting in the bottom section and he gave Niall a strange look before picking them up, examining them and taking the letter attached to the bouquet and shoving the flowers into Niall's hands. Niall was stunned and gave Harry a glare as he opened the letter.

Your plane leaves at 6 :) x

-Lou

Harry's eyes brightened as he waved the letter in Niall's face. He grunted as he held Harry's hand still to read it.

"Seriously? Where are you going this time?"

"I don't know!" Harry bounced up and down, looking over the flight information. Prague, Czech Republic.

Niall looked over at his shoulder and nodded approvingly. "That's wicked."

Harry contained a squeal and he quickly called Gemma, filling her in on what he found in his locker. Gemma screamed that Louis was the best boyfriend ever and she wanted to date him instead. Harry agreed and said his plane left at six, which Gemma began to yell at their mother that Louis was the best boyfriend ever. Harry heard Anne sigh deeply and say she'd go pack Harry's bag.

Harry hung up and smiled at Niall. He gave Harry a halfhearted smile.

"How long will you be gone?"

"I'm assuming just for the weekend since we have school on Monday." Harry said, taking the flowers from Niall and examining them once more. People were staring at him as they walked by but he ignored them. "Can you believe he did this?"

"Perks of being rich." Niall rolled his eyes. Harry punched him lightheartedly.

"I'll tell him to get you a ticket too next time."

Niall gave him a cheeky smile. "Don't worry about me. Have fun this weekend and don't get mugged or anything."

Harry gave Niall a tight hug. "Thanks."

Niall slowly put his arms around Harry. "For what?"

"Being a good friend."

Niall felt his heart pound. He covered it up with a laugh and patted Harry's back.

"Don't worry about it. Go have fun with your boyfriend." Niall pushed Harry to the exit and he smiled, waving to his friend.

Niall sighed as he watched Harry walk away. He was happy for Harry, honestly; but it was hard seeing him travel everywhere and having lots of fun just because he had a famous boyfriend with lots of money. Also the fact that Niall had to deal with Harry when he was in a foul mood and Louis got Harry when he was in cupcake mode made him angry. He found it unfair but there's nothing he could do about it.

He sighed, shoving his hands in his pocket and walking out the exit opposite of Harry.

XxX

Harry was so excited he practically skipped down the terminal. He hadn't bothered to bring his phone since he wanted to spend every possible moment only with Louis with absolutely no distractions. He swiftly walked through the airport and saw the signature sign Harry Styles.

He went up to Phil with a large smile on his face. Phil greeted him and led him to a car. As always, Louis hadn't been allowed to come but the anticipation of seeing him made Harry's anxiety grow. The car ride was much shorter than Harry expected but it made him elated. He was eager to see Louis, so he was bounding behind Phil, trying to keep his excitement at bay. Phil got to the room and Harry tapped his fingers on his legs impatiently.

The door swung open and he peered in, seeing nothing. He took a timid step forward and someone jumped out yelling, startling Harry. He exclaimed a profanity and Louis burst into laughter and keeled over. Harry's hand was pressed to his heart and his expression was still stuck in utter shock. Tears pricked at the side of Louis' eyes as he continued laughing.

"You scared me!" Harry whined. He hated when people jumped out at him. Louis' laughter slowly died down and he wiped his tears away.

"I'm sorry," He sniffled and put his hand on Harry's arm. "I had to."

Harry scrunched his nose and Louis kissed him deeply. Harry felt just as breathless as the time of their first kiss - it was pure bliss. He walked into the room and Phil and Louis followed after him, shutting the door. Harry stopped when he saw an unknown person sitting at the counter. The man had neatly styled brown hair and he was wearing a navy blue suit. Harry hesitantly took a step back and glanced at Louis.

"Louis...who is that?"

"Oh! Right, sorry." Louis stood next to the man. "This is Nicholas Maynard, my other body guard. He was recently hired due to the increasing amount of fans starting to mob me." Louis made a face but then replaced it with a smile. "Nicholas, this is Harry Styles, my boyfriend."

Nicholas stood up and outstretched his hand. "Pleasure to meet you Mr. Styles. I've heard a lot about you."

Harry laughed nervously and shook his hand. "I hope nothing embarrassing."

"Mr. Connors has filled me in on most everything." Nicholas said. Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Mr. Connors?"

"That's Phil's last name." Louis chipped in. Harry looked down flustered.

"Oh."

"How was the flight over?" Louis asked, pressing a kiss to his forehead and gesturing for Harry to sit down. Harry sat his travel bag against the couch and took a seat next to Nicholas.

"It was fine, a bit bumpy but it was alright." Harry answered. Louis handed him a glass of water and he took it graciously. "I've never been to Prague before, it's beautiful here already."

"Me either, I have a show here so I wanted you to come experience it with me." Louis gave Harry a genuine smile. Harry felt unnerved because not only was Phil here, but Nicholas was too and Harry hardly knew him. If Louis was being this way around Nicholas then that meant he knew some of what was going on. Louis continued. "It's honestly beautiful here, I've never seen anything like it. Oh, and I had one of my guards stationed in the area deliver the plane ticket to your locker again, if you were wondering."

"Is this going to become a normal thing?" Harry asked amused. Louis gave him a sly smirk.

"Maybe."

"Louis, you have a dinner booked at seven PM tomorrow, if you had forgotten." Nicholas said, looking at his watch. "I expect you to be ready by six PM sharp."

"Yeah yeah." Louis dismissed him with a wave. "Go to bed. I want to be with Harry."

"As you please." Nicholas and Phil retired to their bedroom. Harry watched them skeptically then turned to Louis.

"Are they...?" He trailed off, feeling awkward and not sure what to say.

"There are separate beds in there." Louis chuckled. "Nicholas is married. He hasn't been for very long. His wife is in Rome with her friends right now so he's not too cranky about having to be with me twenty-four-seven."

"Oh." Harry sipped his water absentmindedly. "Is it different having him here too?"

"I guess. He's definitely more outspoken than Phil." Louis sat in the seat Nicholas had previously been in. "He's more routine-oriented while Phil just tells me what I have that day then lets me do my own thing the rest of the time. He's quite a change but I like him." Louis smiled and scooted closer to Harry. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to text you much. I promise I didn't forget about you." Harry's face flushed in guilt. Louis gave him a knowing smirk and continued. "Nicholas has me booked every day for something in a billion different places. I had to tell him to lay off and give me a break this weekend so I could see you."

"So Nicholas then...he knows about us and Eleanor?" Harry questioned.

Louis leaned away from Harry and nodded solemnly. "Yes, though I can't say he agrees with it, him being married and all. But he knew what he was getting into when he applied to be my bodyguard so I don't really care if he stays or not."

Harry rested his hand on Louis' leg. "How have the shows been going?"

"Better." Louis answered, lightly touching Harry's hand with his own. "I'm talking to my agent about letting me sing live instead of lip syncing...but fact is I'm just so bloody scared to."

"Hey, it's alright." Harry gave his leg a reassuring squeeze. "It just takes practice."

"Speaking of which," Louis slid off the bench and grabbed Harry's travel bag, taking it into their room, "I've never heard you sing before."

"You don't want to." Harry said following him. Louis gave him a doubtful look.

"Now come on, I'm sure your voice is lovely."

"It's alright." Harry shrugged. "But I'm not the famous one here."

Louis scoffed, crawling to the head of the bed. He patted Harry to come sit next to him and Harry sat next to him and curled into his chest. Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." Harry looked up and stared into Louis' eyes. They were gleaming brightly and swirled with affection. Louis slowly inched his face closer and kissed Harry softly. Harry leaned into the kiss - he had missed this so much. The past few weeks he had craved to feel Louis' touch again and here he was in Prague with him. His pride swelled at the mere reality.

Louis pulled away and gently brushed Harry's hair with his fingers. "How have you been?"

"Fine." Harry answered curtly. Louis raised an eyebrow.

"Just fine?"

Harry hesitated. "Well, when you didn't text me I felt like you didn't care anymore. I know it's because you were busy but still..." He trailed off, feeling abash. Louis lifted his head and his expression softened.

"I'm sorry, dove. I get really busy sometimes, I don't want you to ever feel that way again." Louis pulled Harry close to his chest and wrapped his legs around Harry, burying his nose in his hair. "Forgive me?"

"Of course." Harry breathed. "Forever and ever."

Louis grinned like an idiot. "I'll do better. Even if I don't text back, know that every second of the day my thoughts are consumed with you. I want to be with you all the time and when you're not near me I miss you more than ever. You mean the world to me, Harry, I hope you know that."

Harry averted his gaze, flustered. He wasn't used to these types of compliments and it evoked an emotion deep within him that he didn't know how to describe. Louis was the first person to ever make him feel this way.

They changed into pajama pants and crawled into bed together. Harry curled up into Louis' chest and Louis fondly stroked his curls. After a while of easing silence, they fell into a deep, gentle sleep.

XxX

Harry woke up with the sun shining through his eyelids. He slowly blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the light, and sat up slowly. Louis' arm was still draped over his waist as he continued sleeping soundly. Harry smiled and pressed a short kiss to his forehead making him stir. Louis took in a deep breath and smiled when he opened his eyes and saw Harry.

"Good morning." He said sweetly. Harry smiled.

"Good morning. Nice to see you in your natural habitat."

Louis let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, well."

Harry dipped down to kiss Louis but he covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Harry ended up kissing his palm and chuckled before going into the bathroom and turning on the shower. He stepped in and the hot water ran down his back, making his muscles relax. He let out a deep sigh. He was in Prague with Louis Tomlinson. His boyfriend.

A smile made its way onto his face without him knowing. He was soon finished with his shower and stepped out, seeing Louis had finally gotten out of bed. After he got dressed he walked out to the kitchen and saw Phil making pancakes and Louis eating breakfast at the counter. He kissed Louis' temple as he sat next to him. Phil slid him a plate of food.

"You smell good." Louis stated, flaring his nostrils. His eyes raked up and down Harry's body, stopping on his lips. Harry grinned cheekily at the simple reaction.

"Shoulda joined me. It felt great."

Louis let out a snort and finished his remaining breakfast, putting his plate in the sink and giving Harry a short kiss. "I'm showering. You're free to join if you want."

"Nah, I'm too hungry." Harry gave him a sly smile and Louis winked as he retreated to the bedroom. Nicholas walked out of his room with his eyes glued to his phone. He looked up when he noticed Harry and smiled.

"Good morning Mr. Styles. I hope you slept well."

"I did, thank you." Harry replied. He liked Nicholas - he didn't seem as uptight as Louis made him out to be. Louis was more free-spirited so someone like Nicholas could come across that way to him. Harry found him quite normal and very easy to talk to.

Harry found it interesting how he was so comfortable around Phil and Nicholas. At first, Phil scared the living shit out of him - and still did sometimes - but the more time he spent around him he realized Phil was a big teddy bear. He was the nicest guy you could ever know and was very protective over Louis. Though he didn't know Nicholas as well, he still found his presence alerting but reserved. Nicholas always seemed to be up to date on the latest news and he had quite the rigorous schedules.

"So Mr. Styles, I'm curious." Nicholas said, pushing his barren plate away from him. "I never heard the story of how you and Mr. Tomlinson met."

"Call me Harry, please." The sound of Mr. Styles made him sound uptight and snobby. Harry liked his first name better, but he continued. "I work at a bakery and one day Louis walked in with his-" Harry caught himself before speaking again, "-Eleanor, and started talking to me. He said he took a fancy to me, so a month later, he requested a radio interview. He found me at the bakery again and got my number, and from there it just kind of happened."

"I see." Nicholas interlaced his fingers together. "Did you feel the same about Louis when you first met him?"

"No," Harry admitted sheepishly. "I thought he was attractive but quite stuck up and rather rude. He dragged me to one of his radio interviews but once we started texting he opened up to me a bit. There's still things I don't know about him but for now I'm happy." He realized he had started smiling without knowing and tried to force his expression to go neutral. Nicholas seemed to notice and let out a chuckle.

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Mr. Styles, I'm just wondering. That's the only part Mr. Connors didn't fill me in on."

"How long have you been working for Louis?" Harry questioned, wanting to turn the attention away from him.

"About two weeks now." He answered. "When he went to Spain for a charity concert was when I officially started."

Harry scowled. Louis hadn't told him that - not even mentioned it slightly. Maybe when he was in Italy it had just slipped his mind since his fame was rising and it was starting to get harder to moderate what information he took in and gave out. Harry brushed it off; the fact was insignificant, though he still bed a bit offended that Louis never brought it up. He assumed they talked about everything with each other but apparently not.

Louis came out of the bedroom, his hair slightly damp and wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts. Harry had never seen him dressed so casually and it was a different sight. Louis noticed Harry checking him out and smirked but then looked to Phil. He was teasing Harry.

"Anything of importance today?" He asked.

"Just your dinner booked with Harry." Phil said, wiping his hands with a towel. Harry snapped his gaze to Phil then back to Louis.

"What dinner?"

"Shh, that's a secret." Louis covered Harry's mouth with one hand and stroked his hair with the other. "We're touring around the city today and it's quite cold. You should wear a jacket or you'll regret it."

Harry nodded, sticking his tongue out to lick Louis' hand to get him to remove it. He dragged his tongue across the entire length of his palm and Louis squealed in shock, glaring after Harry as he chuckled maniacally while scampering to their bedroom. He wanted to get dressed so they could leave sooner.

Harry looked through his bag and pulled out what his mother had packed. He'd hardly glanced in his bag twice before hopping on the plane. As he pulled out his choices, he noticed his mother had actually packed a wide variety of things. She even threw in one of his beanies - she must've looked at the whether beforehand before him and Gemma had taken off to the airport. He would have to remind himself to thank his mother later.

As he picked out clothes, his mind began to wander. The past few weeks had been hell, but back in France everything seemed to be going great. The day Louis asked Harry to be his boyfriend had been the last time they ever had done something like that. It often crossed Harry's mind if Louis ever wanted to do something like that again or if he was too scared to. Even before then when they were snogging Louis had stressed that he'd taken it too far. Harry felt himself swallow shallowly; his body was starting to react to the feeling of Louis' hands running up and down his torso while his mouth was sucking at his flesh. He was craving to feel that rush of adrenaline again. He wanted to do it again.

Harry shook his head, ridding his mind of the tempting thoughts. He wasn't going to push Louis - obviously he was uncomfortable with it and so Harry wasn't going to bring it up. Something had happened that made Louis repelled by the actions so he wasn't going to pressure him into it. He huffed, putting together a compellation of clothes until it all fit together and threw on a beanie to compliment the outfit. He deemed it good before walking out and seeing Louis slumped over on the counter. Harry raised an eyebrow and sat next to Louis.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm tired." Louis complained. He slowly lifted his head up and looked Harry up and down. "You look nice."

Harry smiled, still forcing the sensual thoughts to leave his brain. "My mum packed for me."

Louis gave him a saucy smile before hopping off the chair and going into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. He soon came out later in a short sleeve maroon shirt with dark jeans and his white vans. He had a black jacket thrown over the top and a beanie resting on his head. Harry smiled.

"I've never seen you dressed so casually."

Louis shrugged. "Yeah, well, I always have concerts so I have to dress nice. Ready?"

Harry nodded and made sure he had his wallet before they went out the door. Nicholas got off of the chair with his phone in his hands.

"Louis, I've received a request."

Both him and Harry stopped and turned their attention to Nicholas.

"Your agent wants you start thinking of a song so you can release a new single. I suggest listening to the sound of the city while you're walking around." He set his hand on Louis' shoulder gently before taking it off, waiting at the doorway for them. Louis pursed his lips and looked at Harry.

"Sound of the city, huh? You're gonna have to help me with that one."

Harry scrunched his nose up and took Louis' hand in his own.

They were getting in the car when Louis' posture suddenly straightened. Louis snapped his intense gaze to Harry and he leaned back warily.

"What?" Harry questioned, confused by Louis' sudden antics.

"Let's write a song together," Louis said, his tone demanding. "Since my agent wants me to have a new song, why not write it with you? We could even have a few more to make a mini album."

Harry blinked, musing over the idea. Writing a song with Louis? But he didn't even know how to, first of all. And second, what even was there to write about? Harry didn't know, but he liked the idea.

"Sure, anything for you." Harry said sweetly, nuzzling his nose into Louis' hair. Louis' heart melted at the shivers that ran up his spine.

Harry was his everything; he never wanted that to change.

Louis pulled out his phone and went onto Twitter, ignoring all the spam and mentions he got from fans. It rather bothered him by how much spam he got since it was hard to sift through every tweet. His Twitter often crashed for how many notifications he received. He began typing out a tweet, a smile forming on his face as he did so.

'What do you guys think about an EP ?? I say yes ;)'

XxX


	13. Chapter 13

XxX

They visited a few prestigious landmarks - one was the Charles Bridge - which was crowded as can be - and the other was the ten baby public sculptures by David Cerny. Harry simply looked at the ten crawling babies and exclaimed in a wondrous tone, "Look at their butts!" Louis snorted and couldn't stop laughing after that.

The walk along the bridge was romantic, Louis could say. It was insanely crowded but not many people seemed to recognize them. Louis and Harry elbowed their way through the crowds of people just to get a good view from the side of the bridge. Harry slipped Louis' phone from his back pocket and took a picture of them both with the endless river behind them. Harry smiled when he saw the photo and snapped an unsuspected picture of Louis looking out across the vast waters, completely lost in thought. Louis heard the camera shutter and he snapped his attention to Harry, instantly grabbing his phone and pulled Harry into a headlock. He kissed him hard and created quite a scene, needing to be escorted by Phil and Nicholas back to their car afterward. If a picture of that were to be released anywhere it wouldn't turn out good, though neither of them cared.

Louis looked over and saw Harry staring out the window in awe as they drove around the city. His face was lit up and Louis smiled. He was glad Harry was here and that he could spend time with him. Louis toyed with Harry's fingers and looked out the window.

"What's your favorite thing so far?" He asked.

Harry looked to Louis. "I would say the architecture. It's different."

Louis smiled and pressed a kiss to the back of Harry's hand. "Just wait when we drive around the castle. You'll love it."

Harry grinned at him and looked back out at the window. He was happy to be here.

The day went smoothly much to Louis' pleasure. Him and Harry were able to walk around the Old Town Square and only a few girls asked to take pictures with him. When they really started to be noticed, they were quickly ushered back to the car and taken back to the hotel. On the way, Louis checked his Twitter and saw in his mentions that people were starting to ask if he was in Prague, though the response to the EP had blown up his Twitter with positive feedback. He pursed his lips and scrolled through the numerous tweets. They basically all said the same thing so he closed the app and put his phone back in his pocket.

They got back to the hotel a little after two PM. Harry and Louis were exhausted so they retired to the bedroom to take a short nap. Phil and Nicholas took phone calls and sent out emails. Nicholas was in the middle of typing when he paused and looked at Phil.

"Mr. Connors, I have a question."

"Hm?"

"Does Mr. Tomlinson intend to stay with Mr. Styles or is he just doing this to be rebellious?" He questioned. It had been bothering him ever since last night and he didn't want to ask Louis because he was positive Louis would lie, whatever the answer may be.

"It's none of my concern what Louis intends with Harry. I'm just here so he doesn't get hurt." Phil answered. Nicholas nodded.

"Yes, I apologize for my rudeness. I was curious, is all."

"That's alright. You could always ask Louis himself." Phil said, putting his phone to his ear, leaving no more room for conversation. Nicholas looked back at his laptop and sighed, turning his focus back to the email.

~-~-~

Louis woke up before Harry and stared at him while he continued to sleep. His mouth was parted slightly and his chest rose up and down slowly. He looked so angelic - Louis was in love with Harry more and more each day. While he was away he had missed everything about Harry from his deep voice, to his curly hair, to his laughter, and even the way he unconsciously stared ahead wondrously while letting his eyelids slowly flutter open and shut. Louis wanted to bring him everywhere he went but since he was still in school Louis couldn't do that. He gently brushed away Harry's curls from his face and smiled. Harry was beautiful.

Louis glanced at the clock on the nightstand next to them. Their dinner was at seven and Nicholas wanted them ready by six. He scoffed, there was no way in hell he was being ready an hour early. Nicholas was insane.

After a while of lying there, Louis felt bored so he rolled around on the bed. Harry was still sound asleep and he stared at him, watching for any signs of stirring. Where there was none, Louis scowled and poked his dimple.

"Harry, wake up."

His breathing hitched slightly but it went back to normal. He rolled onto his back and Louis sat up and threw his legs over Harry so he was straddling him.

"Hazza, wake up!"

He groaned, blinking before opening his eyes. He draped his arm over his eyes. He was quiet for a few moments before he sleepily muttered, "What?"

"I'm bored." Louis snipped. He suddenly grinned and bounced up and down. "We have dinner at seven!"

Harry mumbled under his breath with each bounce something and attempted to throw Louis aside. "But I'm sleeping."

"Hmm no you're not." Louis smiled mischievously laid down on top of Harry and touched their noses together. "Come on, we need to get ready."

"But I didn't bring any nice clothing." Harry glowered.

"It's dressy-casual, don't worry. If it wasn't I would've bought you another suit." Louis was about to give him a kiss but Harry covered his mouth. Louis kissed his palm cheekily and rolled off of him. Harry stopped Louis from getting off the bed by wrapping his arm around his hips.

"Don't go." He muttered, pulling Louis closer to him. "You're warm."

Louis chuckled at Harry's expression. If they were in different circumstances, Louis would've assumed he's stoned. "Come on, love." He took Harry's hand off his hips and kissed the back of it before dropping it on the bed. Louis went over to his suitcase and began pulling out clothes, throwing ones aside that he didn't like.

Harry crawled to the bottom of the bed and watched Louis rummage through his suitcase. After a few minutes of them sitting in silence Louis chucked clothes at Harry and they landed on his head. Harry spluttered as he pulled them off, sitting up and looking at them.

"What's this for?"

"Wear my clothes." Louis grinned cheekily. "I want to see you in them."

"Or not at all..." Harry muttered. Louis raised his eyebrows.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." He said quickly, retreating to the bathroom to change. Louis had given him a rounded collar light blue dress shirt and beige slacks with white braces. He raised an eyebrow - he had no idea how to put them on. Surprisingly enough Louis' clothes fit though the shirt was a bit short on him. The slacks fit nicely and he walked out with the braces in his hand. Louis had already gotten dressed in a white dress shirt with a navy blue sweater over it with dark trousers. Louis' heart raced as he saw Harry.

"You look great." He breathed.

"Really?" He fiddled with the braces. "I don't know how to put these on..."

Louis smirked. He slowly slid them out of Harry's hands and went behind him, holding his waist.

"First, you clip them on the back." Louis grabbed the waistband of Harry's pants, trailing his finger along it and hooked the clasps on. It sent shivers up Harry's spine - Louis was teasing him. "These ones are crossed in the back so you don't want to get them tangled." He moved to the front of Harry and pulled at the waistband, attaching the other clasps. "Then you put your arms through and you're good." Louis put Harry's arms through and slid his grip down the braces to straighten them out, lightly brushing against Harry's shoulders as he did so. Harry shuddered at the touch and suddenly Louis pulled the braces away before letting go, making Harry yelp loudly.

"What was that for?" He griped, putting his hands across his chest and taking a step back. Louis laughed.

"It happens to the best of us! Now come here," Louis grabbed the braces and pulled Harry close to him, pressing his lips to Harry's softly. Harry was still grumbling when Louis pulled away.

"That hurt."

Louis scoffed. "But you look adorable. Now put on those shoes." He gestured to the pair of white vans sitting on the bed. Harry gaped as he saw Louis putting on his own vans.

"Whose are those?"

"Yours! I had Phil go and buy you some." Louis answered, smiling. He finished tying his shoes and jumped up, walking out of the room. His tone was sing-song. "If you wore your converse it wouldn't have matched!"

Harry huffed. Louis really needed to stop buying him stuff.

XxX

The braces had started bugging Harry so he slipped them off his arms and let them hang down by his hips. Louis gave him a look as he did so but Harry had a feeling it wasn't because he was angry.

They arrived at the restaurant and Harry smiled. The building and everything surrounding it was so beautiful - the view they had out the window was breathtaking. The atmosphere inside was very serene and calm music was playing. Phil and Nicholas escorted them in and then were set at their own table nearby Harry and Louis. Harry didn't mind though, he felt secure with their following presence.

Him and Louis looked through the menu and ordered their drinks first. Louis wanted to get a bottle of wine but Harry convinced him otherwise. He didn't want them to end up reliving that one night in France again.

Louis instead opted for just one glass of wine, which Harry was fine with. That way he would moderate his drinking throughout the night and he wouldn't be drunk to the point of being delirious. Louis convinced Harry to get a glass as well since the event afterwards required it. Harry raised an eyebrow but didn't question him since he knew Louis wasn't going to tell him anyway. He was always one for surprises.

Their dinner went flawlessly and they got back in the car after Phil had retrieved it. He had his head rested on Louis' shoulder and Louis was softly stroking his hair. Harry was completely comfortable - being in Louis' presence calmed him and made him feel loved. His eyes began to droop as he felt the fatigue catch up to him. He swore he fell asleep but Louis shook him awake gently moments later.

"Harry, we're here."

"Where?" He muttered sleepily.

"There." Louis pointed out the window. Harry leaned forward so he could look out the window. His expression turned foul and he looked at Louis.

"Don't you have to be twenty-one or older to go to a club?"

"Silly Harry. That's what lying is for." Louis pinched his cheeks and stepped out of the car. Harry scrambled out of the car and almost tripped over his feet. Louis chuckled at his antics as Nicholas stepped out of the passengers seat.

"Louis, I'll follow you in and stand off to the side. Phil is going to park the car then will be in shortly." He informed. Louis nodded and linked his arm with Harry's.

"Ever been to a club?"

"No," Harry answered apprehensively. It was getting colder outside but the loud music blaring from inside the building interfered. His heart dropped; he wasn't so sure about this.

Louis grinned. "Well don't be surprised if tons of people hit on you. Come on." He began dragging Harry to the entrance where a doorman greeted them. Louis pulled out his ID and Harry stood next to him mortified.

"Louis Tomlinson, uprising celebrity and pro footballer. This here is my bodyguard Nicholas Maynard and this is my friends first time." Louis handed the doorman his drivers license - which Harry didn't even know Louis owned - and he looked over it. His eyes trailed to Harry.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen, sir." Harry squeaked. Louis cast him a glance.

He nodded, handing Louis back his license and waved them through. Harry was shocked as Louis pulled him through the doorway by his hand. Nicholas greeted the doorman and followed them a few feet before diverting in another direction. Harry's mind was swimming with worry. He had just lied to someone who could potentially snap him in half and Louis had gotten in a club without a second glance.

"How?" He asked over the loud, blaring music. It sounded like Black Eyed Peas but Harry couldn't place the song.

"I have my ways." Louis smirked, taking Harry to the bar. He took notice of the music and his face lit up. "Bit of a throwback here, innit!" He sat on a stood, kicking one out for Harry. "Care for a drink?"

"But-"

"Two guinnes, please." Louis told the bartender. He nodded and Harry cast a scowl to Louis.

"Lou, I'm not old enough to drink-"

"Nonsense!" Louis exclaimed, yanking Harry down onto the barstool. A few moments later their drinks were pushed in front of them and Louis took a long gulp. Harry tentatively took a sip and scrunched his nose. It felt as if bile was burning down his throat. He looked over at Louis who was chugging his with no hesitation. Harry's eyebrows scrunched together; he had to admit Louis was almost up to par with Niall when it came to the speed of drinking, but Harry had only witnessed Niall's drinking talent when they went to a party a few years back. He shuttered - not good memories.

Harry hardly got halfway through his glass when Louis dragged him to the dance floor. He felt his mind numbing again in a way that was different. It was a slower process and burned his throat longer than the wine had. Louis pulled Harry close to him by his hips and slowly swayed against him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' neck and buried his head into Louis' chest. He pressed a sloppy kiss to Louis and he responded equally with as much force.

The music pulsed through their bodies as they swayed to the music. The song ended and a mashup of Justin Timberlake played, making Louis belt out with an excited yell. Harry laughed and stumbled a bit as people flocked towards the DJ. Louis dragged him to the center of the crowd of people and they were all bouncing up and down. Louis' hands roamed around Harry's body and Harry pulled him closer. The heat that surrounded them made their skin slick and breaths quicken. The air was suffocating them but the alcohol and numerous bodies around them dulled their senses.

Harry didn't know how long they'd been there, but the Justin Timberlake mashup had long ended and the next song came to a point where everyone went wild. Louis and Harry were shoved apart and Louis was thrown to the edge of the crowd. His face contorted in irritation and he pushed back into the crowd forcefully. He searched for Harry frantically, looking back and forth in every direction. He swore he caught a glance of Harry on the other side of the crowd so he put all his energy into dividing the crowd. He tripped out of the mass of people in a haze and looked up, seeing Harry's body engulfed in someone's arms. He blinked rapidly, forcing his eyes to focus. Harry was pinned against the wall, lips locked with another guy, hands on his butt, and their hips grinding against each other.

Louis' rage flared. He stormed over to them and tore the boy off of Harry. Harry yelled something incoherent and Louis' readied his fist and swung as hard as he could. The impact sent the guy stumbling back and he held his jaw, his face contorting into anger. Louis didn't pay attention to him and glared at Harry instead.

"What the hell are you doing?" Louis screamed over the blaring music. At one point it had transitioned into Blurred Lines and Harry didn't know why he would rather disappear into the crowd twerking to Robin Thicke than deal with his livid boyfriend.

"It wasn't me I swear!" Harry protested. "He came onto me!"

"Shit man!" The guy yelled, "You want to fight?"

Louis turned to him, chest puffed out and he took two long strides before he was standing so their bodies were touching.

"Stay away from my boyfriend." He glowered, rage aflame in his eyes.

Louis grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him to the entrance of the club, leaving behind the mass of people. His grip on Harry never loosened and Harry cried out in pain.

"Louis, stop it! You're hurting me!"

He let go of Harry's wrist and threw him against the wall. Louis' mouth instantly attached to his neck and Harry let out an unexpected moan. He writhed as Louis nipped and sucked on his flesh, creating a wet bruise. Louis pulled away, feeling proud of his handiwork yet still livid with Harry. He pressed a forceful kiss to Harry's lips then pierced into his gaze, hoping this would teach him a lesson.

"You're mine."

Harry whimpered slightly and wrapped his arms around his body. A few beats later Nicholas ran up to them.

"Louis, what do you think you're doing? You can't punch people in public!" He exclaimed.

"Take us home." Louis snapped, glaring at Nicholas. He then cast a look to Harry. "We're done here."

Phil came up behind Nicholas with concern etched on his face. Nicholas told him to get the car and he nodded, walking out of the club. Harry held his neck protectively as he cowered under Louis' harsh gaze. Nicholas ushered them out of the club entrance quickly and into the car once Phil had driven to the front. Louis shoved past Harry and got in first. Harry sent him a glare and sat on the opposite side of the seat. Louis put his elbow on the door handle and looked out the window, completely avoiding Harry's gaze, while Harry sat dejectedly with one hand cupping his abused neck and the other hugging his torso.

Why had Louis gotten so mad? It wasn't Harry's fault - when they were separated Harry had been pushed out of the crowd and into some drunken mans arms. Harry mistook it for Louis since he had looked an awful lot like him but now that Harry recalled, the man had been taller and had a bigger build. Louis was more petite and definitely shorter than Harry. Harry rolled his eyes and huffed; why was it fair for Louis to get mad and not allow Harry to have an explanation? He didn't want to be blunt with Louis though since he knew it would only repel him. He had to go about this in an indirect way.

"Louis, please talk to me." Harry pleaded. Louis kept his gaze pointed out the window. Harry felt a lump rise in his throat as he realized Louis might actually be angry with him. "Louis-"

"I'm mad at you." He stated, still not looking at Harry.

Harry scowled. "You never gave me time to explain-"

"I know what I saw! Eyes don't lie, Harry." Louis snapped his eyes over to him. "If you wanted to snog some random bloke you could've told me and we would've avoided this entire mess altogether!"

"I didn't mean for it to happen!" Harry's voice rose the slightest bit. "I told you, he came onto me!"

"Whatever." Louis scoffed. He turned back to the window. "I'm done talking to you."

Harry clenched his jaw, feeling his insides burning with anger. He opened his mouth to retort but found it useless. He would only create more tension between them and he didn't want that. They may be drunk but Harry still had his common sense. It seemed Louis passed the point of all logic to where it was thrown out the window so Harry knew he wasn't going to get a real conversation out of him until he was sober. He had never seen Louis so angry and forceful before over something so trivial. Honestly, it scared him.

A lot.

XxX


	14. Chapter 14

XxX

They arrived at the hotel and Louis refused any help from Nicholas or Phil. He stumbled out of the lift and held onto the wall, a look of pain etched on his face. His eyes were watery but Harry did the best to ignore him. If Louis was going to be a heartless bastard then Harry would be one back.

Nicholas opened the door with an irritated sigh and let the other three in. Phil escorted Louis to his room and shut the door. He heard angry yelling and things being thrown around the room. Harry ran to open the door but Nicholas held him back.

"Harry, let Mr. Connors deal with it." He said. The demanding tone of his voice reflected that he was serious and Harry's posture relaxed.

"I've never seen Louis this angry." Harry sat on the couch and hung his head. He gripped his fingers in his hair and Nicholas sat next to him.

"I can say I honestly haven't either." He sat back and crossed his legs. "What exactly happened?"

"This random drunk guy came onto me." Harry replied. "Louis saw us and punched him. You know the rest from there."

Nicholas let out a drawn out sigh. He shook his head. "I'm assuming all alcohol will be restricted from Mr. Tomlinson now. Mr. Walter would be furious."

"Mr. Walter?" Harry questioned, looking at him through his drooping hair.

"His agent, Bradley Walter." Nicholas said. "You never knew his name?"

Harry shook his head. He felt a headache coming on and the mark Louis left on his neck was still throbbing. He touched it tentatively and flinched when he felt it was hot. Nicholas watched his movements and stood up, going to the kitchen and getting a glass of water and painkillers. He handed it to Harry and he took it graciously.

"I'm pretty sure I'll need more than this." Harry said, taking a sip of the water. The coolness ran down his throat and he suddenly felt sick. The water mixed with alcohol and his emotions weren't residing well. Nicholas shook his head.

"Wait for your stomach to settle before taking those. Just relax for now and try to sleep. I'll see if I can get you clothes."

"That's alright, Nicholas." Harry waved. "I don't want you to-"

The door swung open and Louis came stomping out. Phil was right behind him, watching Louis carefully as he got a glass of water. He chugged it quickly and wiped his mouth, glaring at Harry. Harry stayed silent as their gazes burned into each other.

Louis set his glass on the counter and retreated to the bedroom, closing the door. Phil sighed and sat on the couch opposite of Harry. After a few moments of looking at Harry, he spoke.

"He's angry."

"Obviously." Harry gibed.

"He'll come around." Phil informed, standing back up. "He's very emotional when he's drunk."

"I've found that out." Harry muttered as Phil went into his room. Nicholas knocked on Louis' door gently.

"Louis, may I get some clothes for Harry?" He waited patiently for a moment before Louis replied.

"No. Make him sleep naked."

Harry glared towards the door and Nicholas sent him an apologetic look. "Louis, we're adults here. Be mature about this."

A few minutes later clothes were thrown out of the door and it was quickly slammed shut. Nicholas refrained from rolling his eyes and handed them to Harry.

"Thanks." Harry grumbled. "May I use your bathroom?"

"Of course." Nicholas nodded, leading him into the room.

Harry shut the door hurriedly and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible; his hair was no longer styled neatly, his eyes were bloodshot, his top buttons were undone, his new white shoes were smudged with filth, his face was pale, there were dark circles under his eyes, and his wrists were covered with bruises. No wonder Nicholas had taken so much compassion on him - he looked like a wreck.

He changed into the t-shirt and pajama pants he was granted. The cool material felt nice on his skin as opposed to the sweat-clad, tight fitting outfit he was wearing previously. He had smelled like Louis all night and loved it but now smelled of alcohol and depression.

If depression even had a scent.

He walked out and said goodnight to Phil and Nicholas. He appreciated them much more from the events of tonight. Harry wasn't sure he would've been able to deal with Louis' outburst on his own - it had been so unexpected that he was caught off guard completely.

He sunk into the couch and sent a longing look to the shut door that Louis was hiding behind. He felt tears prick at the sides of his eyes and wiped them away. He wrapped the blanket Nicholas had provided around his body and forced his mind to shut off.

~-~-~

A hand being placed on Harry's arm suddenly woke him up. He jumped and sat up, instantly backing away. The person gazed at him with sorrow in their eyes as the moonlight bounced off their skin and the tips of their brunette hair. They looked angelic, but not in Harry's eyes.

"What do you want, Louis?" Harry cringed when his groggy voice cracked.

"I'm so sorry." He said, his voice frail. "I'm so sorry...I-I'm..."

He broke into tears and hid his face by burying it into the couch. His shoulders shook up and down and Harry's eyebrows furrowed. His brain was still fuzzy and he didn't fully comprehend the situation. He was pretty sure Louis was in front of him crying at sometime early in the morning.

"Lou..." Harry set his hand on his hair gently.

Louis lifted his head slowly to show tears seeping down his face. "I'm an idiot, a true idiot. I'm so sorry Harry. When I saw you with that guy I-I just...I lost it. I couldn't handle the thought of you being in someone else's arms...I just, I don't know." He trailed off and rubbed the tears away. "I-I'm so sorry."

Harry blinked, still trying to wrap his head around what was happening. He wanted to be angry at Louis for overreacting but now that Louis was completely broken in front of his eyes Harry couldn't find any rage inside of him. The better part of him was saying to comfort him while he cried genuine tears. Harry slipped to the floor and grasped Louis in a tight hug.

"I forgive you." He whispered. He felt Louis' breath hitch and he buried his head into Harry's neck.

They sat in silence for a very long time. Seconds clicked away at the clock and the moonlight from outside shone in through the balcony windows. Harry felt his shirt become damp as Louis' tears rolled down from his cheeks onto the cloth. Harry pressed a gentle kiss to his temple.

"Come on." Harry beckoned Louis to get up on the couch. He rubbed his eyes and waited for Harry to situate himself before lying in front of him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and he felt Louis' shoulders still shaking up and down. Harry's eyebrows etched in concern; Louis must've felt so much guilt to be this shattered.

Harry stroked Louis' hair comfortingly and eventually he felt Louis' tension ease. Soon, he was sound asleep and Harry pressed a kiss to his hair, whispering into his ear before falling into his own slumber.

XxX

In the morning Nicholas walked out of his room. He stopped in the doorway as he spotted Harry and Louis on the couch and his eyebrows furrowed. Phil came up behind him and looked, seeing them as well.

"Looks like they made up." Nicholas said. Phil nodded.

"I knew they would."

Nicholas went back into the room and Phil followed him. They closed the door and left Harry and Louis alone to sleep for a while longer.

A few hours later Harry stirred. He lifted his free arm up and turned his head as he saw Louis curled up next to him. He blinked, vaguely remembering what happened last night. Louis had been a mess and Harry scrunched his eyebrows. Besides that bloke coming onto him, what else upset Louis? If Harry knew Louis as well as he thought he did then there was some underlying anger that had been triggered.

He laid on the couch in the light of the sun, holding Louis in his arms. He was absentmindedly stroking Louis' hair and felt the gentle breath on his skin. He smiled down at Louis, watching as his chest rose up and down slowly. He pressed a kiss to the side of Louis' head and heard the door open. Nicholas walked out and his step faltered as their eyes met. He sent Harry an acknowledging nod before walking to the kitchen. Phil walked out a few moments later and gave Harry the same look before starting breakfast.

Harry watched as Phil and Nicholas went about their morning routine while Louis was still sleeping soundly. Harry was glad that Louis was still asleep - he was exhausted and greatly needed the rest.

Once the food got cooking and the aromas floated around the room, he felt Louis stir in his arms. He took a deep breath as he rolled onto his back and opened his eyes groggily, his face instantly lighting up once he saw Harry.

"Hi."

"Hi," Harry grinned and looked down at him. "how did you sleep?"

"I have a massive headache." He groaned. "And that smells good."

"Phil is making breakfast." Harry informed. Louis' arm was draped over his forehead before his eyes shot open.

"You leave today." Louis said shakily as he apprehensively glanced up at Harry.

Harry scowled. He sat up and pulled Louis into his lap and buried his nose into his hair. "I know."

"I don't want you to leave." He pouted. "I'll miss you."

"It's okay," He said softly, "I'll see you again."

Louis groaned and got up from the couch, walking past Phil to get a glass of water. He drank it quickly and set it down, putting his hands on the counter. He took a deep sigh and Phil slid a plate of food in front of him. He took it and sat at the counter and Harry joined him.

"Glad to see you two made up." Phil said nonchalantly. The egg on Louis' fork slipped off and he tried awkwardly to save it but set his utensil down hastily, pretending like nothing happened. He looked down sheepishly.

"Yeah...sorry about last night."

"No need to apologize. We all learn." He put a plate of food in front of Harry. "You will have to pay for that lamp though."

"That won't be an issue." Louis muttered, stabbing at his fallen egg. "And why do you always cook eggs?"

"Would you rather make yourself food?" Phil sent Louis a sharp look. He cowered under his gaze.

"No, sir." Louis squeaked. Harry held in his giggle as Louis ate the rest of his breakfast in silence.

Phil turned back to the stove and turned it off, setting the spatula in the sink. Nicholas had been on the phone all morning and had stepped out into the hall as to not disturb them. He came back in with a smile on his face.

"Louis, we're going to LA."

His forked clattered on the counter and his eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "There's a branch of the charity you're promoting there. They want you to come perform."

Louis looked at Harry with excitement. His eyes were gleaming and he engulfed Harry in a tight hug.

"Can you believe it Harry? I'm going to the US!"

"I'm so proud of you!" He said. Louis let go and bounced around the kitchen island for a moment before hugging Nicholas.

"Thank you so much!"

"Don't thank me." He peeled Louis off of him awkwardly. "Thank Mr. Walter. You'll be meeting him in LA tomorrow."

Louis groaned dramatically. "I don't want to travel with him! He's so boring to be around!"

"You can't always have Harry come with you." Nicholas scolded, sending Harry a look of amusement. "You'll be there for two weeks. Get ready for no sleep and no privacy."

Louis rolled his eyes and leaned back on the counter. "Nothing is a secret in LA. If Harry went people would find out for sure."

Nicholas nodded, scrolling through his calendar. "Do you have anything planned for today?"

"Usually I'm the one asking that." Louis said amused. "But we're dropping Harry at the airport at four."

"Have you been thinking of a melody?" He asked, pulling out a pen and paper from one of the kitchen drawers. He handed it to Louis and he frowned.

"No."

Nicholas gestured his head to Louis' bedroom. "Get on it, Mr. Walter doesn't like to be disappointed."

~-~-~

Louis' head was hanging over the side of the bed kicking his legs while papers were scattered around the bed. Harry had a pen in his hand, jotting down words. He put the pen between his teeth and swung it up and down.

"Any ideas?" Louis droned, turning his head to look at Harry.

"So far I have..." Harry held up the paper close to his face, "Confusion, illusion, hurt, dirt, tear, dear, anger, danger, date, fate, break, hate-"

"Okay I think that's enough." Louis cut him off quickly. He sat up and scowled. "Why do they all have negative connotation?"

Harry gave him a look. "If you don't remember last night was hell."

"Don't remind me." Louis muttered. He scooted closer to Harry. "But let's remember what was actually fun and not depressing." He rested his head on Harry's shoulder. "Let's talk about us."

"What about us?" Harry smiled, cocking his head to look at Louis.

"You had me at that apple strudel." Louis gave him a shrewd smile. Harry stared at him stupidly before bursting into laughter.

"Be serious!"

"Okay, okay! Um..." He tapped the pen against his mouth. Harry's eyes traveled down to Louis' pink lips and his imagination could only run wild with the images flashing through his mind. Louis' mouth trailing down his spine, occasionally nipping at each indent, stopping right before his hips then flipping him over to do the same to his front. Except this time he would go all the way, taking Harry in all at once-

"You stole my heart the first time I saw you." Louis proclaimed, pointing the pen at Harry, bringing him out of his daydream. Reality slapped him in the face and it almost made him choke on his own spit.

"No permission needed." Harry said quietly, trying to cover up his sudden hard-on.

"Cheeky." Louis poked him in the side, making Harry squirm. He hadn't noticed yet, or if he did, he was teasing again. "Can I get it back?"

Harry snorted and pushed Louis down on the bed slowly, hearing the papers crumple beneath them. He smiled and leaned down so their noses were touching. He expected some good treatment.

"Nope." He kissed Louis hard then pulled away. "It's mine forever."

"Forever and ever." Louis said. They kissed passionately and Louis smiled into it, wrapping his arms around Harry to pull him closer.

XxX


	15. Chapter 15

XxX

Harry smiled to himself as he looked out the window. He gripped the paper in his hands as excitement coursed through his body. His mind was replaying everything that had happened the past few days. Him and Louis had their first fight but apologized, and Harry couldn't be more relieved. He couldn't even imagine being without Louis – he was his everything. Every moment they weren't touching or holding hands Harry missed him. He could call himself a sap, but it was the truth. His heart was aching just at the mere thought of being back home alone while Louis was out having the time of his life without him. Harry sighed and Gemma looked over at him.

"What happened this time?"

"Lou and I wrote a few songs before I left." He said, trying not to sound too overly excited. He couldn't spend time worrying and missing Louis while they were apart, they would see each other soon and he was guaranteed it could very well be this next weekend. Gemma's mouth dropped.

"Seriously? You two are such saps!"

"His agent requested it! He wants Louis to release a new single and Lou wanted me to sing with him."

Gemma scoffed. "He is literally the cutest. Can Louis be my boyfriend?"

"No!" Harry protested, though he laughed. "You'll find your man soon enough...unless you secretly like girls."

She burst into laughter. "No, Harry!" She stopped at a red light and they were silent for a moment. Gemma tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and when the light turned green she began driving again. She clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth. "So...what are the songs about?"

"Us," Harry answered immediately. "He's going to LA so we won't be able to record together for a few weeks."

"Why don't you go to LA?" Gemma questioned, her face skeptical but keeping her eyes on the road.

"Louis said he doesn't want people to find out about me."

"Why not?"

"Because of Eleanor."

"Who's Eleanor?"

Oh shit. Harry forgot he hadn't filled in Gemma on that part – even his own mother for that matter; somehow Eleanor just slipped out of the conversation. He suddenly felt a sinking feeling as he realized this might not turn out well. He cleared his throat sheepishly.

"U-Um...his girlfriend."

Gemma slammed on the breaks and Harry lurched forward, clutching the papers in his hands. He exclaimed a swear word and glared at her, ignoring the fact that the papers were now crumpled.

"What the hell Gemma?"

"His girlfriend?" She exclaimed. "Harry, just–what?"

"It's a cover up!" Harry exclaimed quickly. "His management is forcing him to date her but he doesn't love her."

"A cover up?" Gemma narrowed her eyes. Harry subconsciously at the accusatory glare he was receiving.

"Y-Yeah..."

She gave him a look that Harry wasn't quite sure meant, but luckily no cars had been behind them and they were at a stop sign because bloody hell Gemma had to stop randomly slamming on her breaks. She was going to give Harry whiplash one of these times.

The rest of the ride was icily silent. Harry felt discomfort and Gemma's expression looked like she was stirring up a tornado in her brain. They pulled into the driveway and Gemma didn't shut off the car immediately. Harry tried to open the door but it was still locked and he cast a confused look over to Gemma.

"Are you okay with this?" She looked over at him, her eyebrows scrunched together in worry. Harry gave her a look.

"What are you talking about?"

"Louis having a fake girlfriend. You know that means he holds her hand and kisses her and stuff. He has to act like they're a real couple so they've probably even slept together."

Harry felt his insides flare up with jealousy. No, Louis would never do that, Harry knows that. Him and Louis made a promise that Louis was telling the truth when he said he didn't love Eleanor and so he would never do anything. Harry pursed his lips and pushed the thought to the back of his mind. "Of course I know that. I believe what Louis says. I know he's in love with me even if he hasn't said it."

Gemma sighed. "But is being in love enough?"

Harry stared and Gemma shook her head. "N-Never mind, forget I said anything. I'm glad you're happy, Harry." She gave him a quick half smile and turned off the car and got out. Harry huffed and threw his travel bag over his shoulder, following her through the front door. He spotted his mom in the kitchen and she smiled and embraced him tightly.

"Welcome home, Harry. How was Prague?"

"Good." He answered, still miffed from Gemma's comment. He looked around the room for her and his gaze traveled to the stairs. Anne cocked her head.

"Is something the matter?"

"Mum, do you think Louis loves me?" He questioned, averting his eyes to her. Anne's expression fell.

"I don't know, Harry. I'd have to meet him to know. The way you speak of him makes it sound like he is." She hugged him again. "Don't worry, Harry. If he's willing to buy you a plane ticket to come see him then I'm sure he does."

Later that night Harry was sitting in his bed, twirling his phone. Niall had texted him a few times as well as Liam, but since they knew he was in Prague and would be back by Sunday night their texts were full of positive reinforcement. Niall said he missed Harry a few times, but other than that nothing excited had happened. Gemma's comment was still nagging at him and it was making him more irritated the longer time passed. He started a text and typed quickly.

To: Lou

Thank you lots for having me come to Prague. I had a lot of fun and i enjoyed spending time with you :) i do have a question though

He sighed and set his phone down. He didn't expect Louis to text back for a long time since he was getting ready to fly to Los Angeles. He felt his eyes start to droop but his phone vibrated, making him jump. Seeing it was from Louis made him smile and push all his inhibitions away.

From: Lou

Thank u for coming :) whats ur question ?

To: Lou

I told my sister about Eleanor. She questioned if what you tell me is true

From: Lou

About what ?

Harry hesitated. He was typing If you love me but stopped. Why did he doubt Louis? He was his boyfriend – of course Harry trusted him. He pressed the backspace and retyped the message.

To: Lou

Why Eleanor of all people?

From: Lou

Hah well funny story her dad works for my management. Why such the obscure question ??

To: Lou

I couldnt tell you. Gemma has her own way of thinking.

From: Lou

Well dont ever doubt me ok :) im about ready to go to sleep but once i hit LA i'll text you!

Way to be ironic, Louis.

To: Lou

Okay, goodnight .x

From: Lou

Goodnight Haz :) x

XxX

From: Lou

HARRY I MET MEGAN FOX I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING

From: Lou

I CANT BELIEVE THIS

From: Lou

SHES HOT BUT UR HOTTER SO DONT WORRY

From: Lou

HELLO

From: Lou

HAROLD

From: Lou

HAZZA KITTEN PUMPKIN BEAR

From: Lou

PLZ ANSWER ME THIS IS IMPORTANT :( :(

"Mr. Styles, is there a reason your phone is disrupting our class?" The teacher turned around, scowling at him.

Niall muffled his laughter with his hand and Harry gave her a cheeky smile before whipping his phone out of his knapsack and glaring down at it. Seven unread messages from Louis – he never texted him that much so it meant something important must've happened.

As Harry read through the messages, his annoyance rapidly grew. He typed out a response that was intricately thought out but at the same time held lots of meaning and would get straight to the point; fully encasing Harry's feelings towards Louis and his persistent texts.

To: Lou

Wow.

He rolled his eyes and threw his phone in his knapsack, making sure the ringer was off. Niall was still laughing and Harry sent him a look. His foot was resting against his knapsack so he could hear if it vibrated, and when it did, he leaned down and opened the message.

From: Lou

I thought you would be more excited for me :'(

To: Lou

I got in trouble because you. Im also assuming youre in LA.

From: Lou

Oh yeah i am haha the ride over here was great !! Way long but cool, LA is huge !

To: Lou

You just landed and you already met Megan Fox?

From: Lou

No i just wanted a reason to text you :)

Harry felt a warm bubbling in his chest. He put his hand over his mouth to contain his smile that was blooming on his lips. Niall noticed out of the corner of his eye and did a double take, raising an eyebrow.

"What's got you fangirling?"

Harry pursed his lips, his smile never leaving his face, and dismissed him with a wave. Niall gave him a look then turned his attention back to the lecture.

To: Lou

You know you can text me anytime you want. You ARE my boyfriend ;P

From: Lou

I know, i was just trying to be romantic D:

To: Lou

Cheeky :) x

"Mr. Styles, put your phone up." The teacher snapped. Harry let out a big sigh, ignoring the giggles of his classmates, and went to the back of the room and set his phone on the teacher's desk. The feeling of hatred between him and his math teacher was mutual.

He sat back down and picked up his pencil, swinging it between his fingers. Since Louis wasn't going to fly him out to Los Angeles he wouldn't see Louis for two weeks. The thought made his heart hurt. He already missed him tremendously and it had only been less than a day. He laid his head on the desk, absentmindedly staring at Niall. Harry felt like he hadn't been a good friend to Niall lately because he always dropped everything to be with Louis. He was sure they had had plans over the weekend but completely forgotten when he found the plane ticket in his locker. Oh, now that he recalls they were supposed to go to the cinema. Harry felt his face burn with shame – no wonder Niall seemed so hurt. Of course though, Harry was grateful that Niall put up with his constant mood swings and was still a supportive friend.

Class ended and Harry and Niall went to his locker. He almost scoffed when he opened it and saw a bag with a card taped to the side of it. Niall's expression was unreadable as Harry picked it up and read the card.

Miss you already :) Have some fun with Niall. He needs your friendship.

Forever and ever x

-Lou

Harry pulled out dozens of unspecified movie tickets – meaning they could go see any film they want at any time. His and Niall's eyes widened.

"I guess he likes the cinema?"

Harry shook his head with a smile and stuffed the tickets back in the bag.

XxX

Louis clapped his hands together as laughter rang through the interior of the range rover. He was in the car with his agent, Phil, and Nicholas and so far they were all having a good time. Louis did miss Harry, but it was nice to not have the constant worry that he would be caught or Harry would get hurt. He had two weeks in LA all to himself to relax and do his own thing.

He dragged his suitcase down the hall of the hotel and waited for Phil to open the door. He walked through the room and propped his suitcase against the wall, screaming in surprise when turned around and saw someone sitting on the bed.

"Loubear!" They hugged him tightly and he felt his chest constrict. His mood instantly flipped on the other side of the spectrum. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around them.

"Eleanor...how are you?"

"I've missed you so much!" She exclaimed, looking at him. "When your agent called and said that he would fly me out to LA I was really excited! My modeling tour was lonely without you but now that we're here we can be together all the time!" She smiled and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him. Louis was absolutely stunned and his lips stayed frozen. She pulled away and cocked an eyebrow.

"Louis, what's wrong?"

"I..." Louis stammered, giving a desperate glance to the three adults. He felt a pounding in his chest. His agent gave him a stern look and he felt a lump form in his throat. His voice was shaky as he spoke. "I-I didn't expect you to be here. I...missed you so much."

"Aww," She frowned and hugged him. Louis felt a stifled sob in his throat and he rested his head on her shoulder, hugging her tightly. Tears slipped out of his eyes as his shoulders shook up and down. The sound of cries filled the hotel room and Nicholas closed the hotel door quietly.

~-~-~

Louis had calmed down though he had locked himself in the bathroom most of the day. He claimed it was because he felt gross and was showering, but Phil knew that wasn't the case. Louis was trying to avoid Eleanor – Phil just hoped she didn't catch onto that fact. Eleanor was absentmindedly playing with her food at the table while Nicholas was distracting her with card tricks his wife had taught him. According to the look of disinterest on her face it wasn't working.

Phil knocked on the door, hearing Louis croak out, "What?"

"Let me in." He said quietly.

There was silence on the other end of the door until it opened. Phil walked in and shut the door. Louis was sitting on the counter with only sweatpants on and his chest bare. His face was streaked with tears and his eyes were puffy and red. He trailed his gaze over to Phil.

"I want Harry back."

"I know." Phil answered. "Louis, you knew what you were getting into. What's got you so upset?"

Louis' face contorted before a new round of tears came. He wiped them off and sniffed. "I-I love Harry, not her. I don't want to hide who I am anymore, I want to be free."

Phil nodded, folding his arms. Louis was a strong boy but it took a lot of emotional stress for him to break down this badly. Phil didn't know what to do and he wasn't sure if there was anything to even fix the problem. As long as Louis was with his management, they were going to force him to hide who he really was. And Phil knew Louis wasn't about to give up his career just for love either; he was at a fork in the road and had to choose soon before all hell broke loose.

"Can we fly Harry out to LA? I want to see him." Louis choked out. Phil shook his head.

"Louis, you need to control yourself. You can't have Harry and Eleanor in the same place at the same time, you know that."

Louis wiped his eyes and nodded, albeit stubbornly. He forced a smile on his face. "So, what do I do then?"

"Go back to how everything was in the beginning." Phil said, keeping an even gaze with him. He reached for a bag sitting in the corner of the counter and pulled out a bottle. He dumped a few pills into his hand and held them out to Louis. He looked at them unsurely.

"Where did you get those?" His voice quivered.

"Your agent requested I keep extra in my own bag incase you forgot yours." Phil said.

Louis' expression went stoic. He regretfully swallowed the pills with water and after a few minutes of staring blankly at the floor, he slid off the counter and put on a shirt. He fixed his hair in the mirror and blinked all the tears out of his eyes before taking a deep breath and gave himself a reassuring smile. He pushed past Phil and walked up to Eleanor, hugging her from behind.

"I'm sorry, I got too emotional. It was a long plane ride." He said. She smiled and put her arms over his.

"It's okay, I understand." She stood up and he kissed her deeply. Nicholas averted his eyes to Phil who was walking out of the bathroom. Nicholas raised his eyebrow at Phil and he shook his head. Nicholas looked back to Louis and Eleanor who were now hugging. Louis slowly let his empty gaze trail up to Nicholas and it unnerved him. He'd never seen Louis that expressionless before.

"What do you say we walk around a bit?" Louis asked, swinging his and Eleanor's hands back and forth. Her face lit up and she nodded.

"Phil, Nicholas, we're going out." Louis announced, going to his room to change out of his sweat pants. They waited for Phil to drive the car to the front and then they were on the road. Eleanor and Louis were sitting next to each other, pointing to all the different things they saw. Louis was caressing the top of Eleanor's hand with his thumb, not realizing his thoughts had already trailed to Harry.

"You seem different." She said with a sullen expression. Louis' thumb froze and he slowly put a smile on his face.

"What makes you say that, love?"

"I don't know." She admitted, biting her lip. "Did something happen while I was gone?"

Louis pressed his lips to hers, putting his hand to her cheek. He stroked it tenderly.

"Nothing at all, Eleanor."

XxX


	16. Chapter 16

XxX

"Harry, you might want to see this."

Harry was at Niall's house doing homework in his room. It had only been one day since they got back from the break and their teachers already loaded them with homework. Niall had finished his math - refusing to let Harry copy - and was surfing the web on his phone while Harry procrastinated. At the sound of Niall's voice, Harry's ears perked and he leaned on Niall's shoulder as he read the bolded title at the top of the screen.

Louis Tomlinson & Eleanor Calder Share A Romantic Day Out in LA

His eyes widened and he snatched Niall's phone. His eyes raked across the article, his heart pounding in his chest. No, no, no, no, this wasn't what it looked like, or at least that's what Harry kept trying to tell himself the further he got into the article. Louis said he was going alone; Harry had no recollection of Louis saying Eleanor was going to be there as well.

19-year-old singer Louis Tomlinson just arrived in Los Angeles early this morning. His girlfriend of one year Eleanor Calder was eagerly waiting for him in the hotel. The two have since then been out and about as tourists, posing for pictures and showing the world their dedication to each other. Tomlinson has an upcoming charity concert later this week.

There were pictures of them walking and holding hands. They had cups of coffee from Starbucks in their free hand and Harry scowled. Louis didn't even like coffee, why was he drinking it then? What made Eleanor so special?

He scrolled through the pictures and each one made his heart constrict. Louis looked so good, but he looked so wrong next to Eleanor. That was supposed to be him next to Louis. As he kept swiping left, he swore he felt his heart break as a picture of Louis kissing Eleanor came up. They were on a park bench; drinks in hand, legs intertwined, people walking past in the background and the shining sun from above them. His mind went blank as he could only stare at it.

"Harry." Niall said, putting his hand on his friends' shoulder. He had a wary look on his face. "Are you okay?"

Harry didn't speak - he couldn't speak. All he could do was stare at the picture. There was only one thing running through his mind on repeat.

Louis is kissing Eleanor.

The words Gemma had spoken popped into his mind.

"You know that means he holds her hand and kisses her and stuff. He has to act like they're a real couple so they've probably even slept together."

No, Harry absolutely refused to believe it. Louis told him the truth - he had no reason to lie. Sure, Harry would've been upset at knowing Eleanor would be in LA with him, but the fact that he found out this way made it more painful. He felt betrayed.

Niall took his phone from Harry's grasp, turning it off and throwing it to the side. He pulled Harry into his arms and was stunned to feel how rigid Harry was. Niall rubbed circles in his back soothingly, attempting to calm his anxiety that was slowly building.

"He doesn't love me." Harry said, his eyes crinkling together. Niall's frowned, he felt empathy for Harry but there was nothing he could do. Louis was on the other side of the world with his fake girlfriend he didn't even mention would be there while Harry was sitting in his room with a broken heart. Niall had no idea what to say and he didn't want to point out that Harry should've seen it coming. Eleanor was only there for the sake of making rumors about his sexuality die down - but at this point it should've been obvious. Louis didn't love Eleanor.

But at the same time, Niall didn't know if he loved Harry either.

He kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to further upset Harry and he wouldn't listen to anything Niall said anyway. All he could do now was let Harry cry silently until his emotions died down. Maybe Harry would finally realize that Louis isn't genuine and all he's getting out of this is a game; that's what Niall was hoping Harry would figure out as he stroked his friends' hair soothingly, clutching his hand.

Harry went home a few hours later, his eyes raw from crying. The tears had subsided but he still felt a void inside the place his heart was supposed to be. Harry felt ridiculous. He knew from the very start what he was getting into when Louis asked Harry to be his boyfriend and yet he was still crying over the fact that Louis had to kiss his fake girlfriend. Suck it up, Harry told himself, but then cringed, feeling a new set of tears pool at the rims of his eyes.

Why did it hurt so much?

He trudged through the door and saw Gemma sitting at the counter. His mother was washing dishes and looked up upon his arrival, her expression suddenly turning concerned as she saw him.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

Harry let out a shaky sigh and set his knapsack on the table, resting his head on the counter. It felt cool against his burning skull. He wanted to lie but knew he was complete shit at making up stories. "No."

"What happened?"

"Eleanor is with Louis in LA." He spat the words out like venom and was even surprised at his own viciousness. Gemma's eyebrows raised, clearly not surprised, and Anne frowned sympathetically.

"I'm sorry sweetie."

"It doesn't matter." Harry hid his face in his arms. "I'm going to forget about it."

"Do you want some tea?" Anne questioned. Harry looked up and nodded meekly. "Gemma?"

"No thanks. I'm going to bed early." She dismissed herself and went upstairs. Anne watched her warily for a moment before turning to the cupboard and pulling out a pack of tea. Harry observed with disinterest as his mother began to heat up water in the kettle and forced his thoughts to avert to something else in order to avoid another breakdown. A few minutes later he was handed the cup and took it graciously, wrapping his cold hands around it. It was hot and it filled him with a sense of relief. He supposed not everything was cold and heartless in this life.

"How's Niall doing?" Anne asked, knowing fully well her son would want to avoid the topic of Louis. Harry was very transparent. He took a sip of his tea and recoiled as it burned his tongue, letting it fall limp out of his mouth.

"He's fine." He slurred.

Anne smiled. "Harry, you burn your tongue every time. Be a bit more patient."

He snorted, tongue still sticking out, and rested his head sideways on his arm. He felt exhausted - not just physically but emotionally too. His eyes watched the trail of steam as it rose from the cup slowly and then dissipated into the air. It was fascinating to him how it could be visible one moment and the next it was gone - right now that's what he wanted to do.

"Mum, do you think I'm choosing the right thing?"

She turned around from the sink and gave him a quizzical expression. "Are you talking about Louis?"

He nodded.

She suppressed a sigh. "Well, I definitely think you're getting a bit over your head with this, but that's normal for teenagers. If in the long run things work out for you and Louis then great. But for now," She leaned on the counter diagonal from him, "just let it happen. If Louis comes back from LA and says he wants to break up, then that's what was meant to happen. If he comes back and wants to be with you even more, then you'll know. You can't always control the situation, Harry, and once you learn that you'll be a lot happier."

Harry tilted his head up and his eyes quivered. He met his mothers' even gaze and comforting smile and felt as if she could see straight to his soul. Harry took a tentative sip of his tea that was now the perfect temperature, suddenly feeling a lot better than before.

"Thank you, mum."

She nodded. "But Harry, I want you to listen to yourself as well. If things don't feel right, don't force it. Don't feel obligated to do anything - you're not responsible for anyone but yourself. Just remember that."

Harry nodded, looking down at his tea. It swirled around the cup as a faint steam still rose from the liquid. The smell was intoxicating and he felt himself relax the longer he stared into his cup, letting himself get lost.

Anne kissed his forehead and went upstairs. When Harry was done with his tea, he rinsed the cup and set it in the sink, going to his bedroom to flop face-first onto his covers. He got a text from Niall saying he hoped he was okay and Harry smiled, sending back a quick thank you. Niall was honestly the best friend he could ever have.

He was awakened in the middle of the night by his phone vibrating. He scowled as his mind slowly woke up and his eyes opened, squinting as the light of his phone illuminated his bedroom. He glanced at his clock and saw it was a little past five in the morning. There were no birds chirping outside and the moon was only a crescent, letting little to no light through his window. He looked at his phone and saw he had a message from Louis. His heart dropped and he opened it, expecting the worst.

From: Lou

If you saw anything on the news from today please dont believe it. I had no idea El was coming and was upset but i couldnt do anything about it. Please dont be mad x

Harry felt a dull ache in his heart that was quickly turning to anger. Now Louis was telling him? Why didn't he text Harry the moment he found out Eleanor was going to be there? Harry trusted that Louis was going to be in LA by himself and Harry respected that, but now that Eleanor was there he was beginning to doubt everything Louis had ever said to him. Maybe Louis was just a liar.

His rapidly blinked his watery eyes away as he typed out a text.

To: Lou

Its too late.

XxX

All morning Harry's phone had been bombarded with texts. Louis wasn't ceasing his messaging even though it had to be midnight in LA whereas Harry was now at school. It felt as if a dark presence was looming over him and it wouldn't go away. It seemed to be a demon pawing at his back telling him that Louis had lied and that Harry was a fool for being strung in his web of deceit.

He turned off his phone in spite and walked into the school, having been dropped off by Gemma, and went into the lunchroom where he found Niall, Liam, and Sophia. Their conversation was cut short the instant they saw him and Harry knew they had just been talking about him. He clenched his teeth, not in the mood to deal with drama this early in the morning when he'd already slept terribly.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Niall asked, appalled.

"Louis' been texting me all morning." Harry said, keeping his emotions at bay. "He told not to believe anything the news said about him and Eleanor."

"Who's Eleanor?" Sophia asked. Niall sent her a glare that could kill and she instantly shut up. Harry smiled sadly and shook his head, admitting defeat to himself.

"His girlfriend. It's okay, Niall, don't get mad at Sophia." Harry sat down next to Niall and his friend shifted uncomfortably. Niall could feel the tension emitting from Harry and it unnerved him greatly - he knew Harry had a string of patience and once it snapped things got ugly real quick. This wasn't quite the reaction he had been expecting.

"Wait, how is Eleanor his girlfriend if you're together?" Liam questioned. Again, Niall sent him a glare but Harry held his hand up.

"Chill, Niall. We are together but Eleanor is there to cover up his sexuality."

"Oh." Liam blinked, looking at Sophia. "That must be hard to see then."

Harry shrugged, shoving all of his feelings to the back of his mind. He couldn't care. He didn't care. "It's the first time, I should've expected as much."

"Are you sure you want to deal with that though?" Sophia questioned, frowning. "I mean, I definitely wouldn't want to share Liam no matter what the circumstances."

"I knew what I was getting into when I flew to France." Harry said, suddenly becoming impatient. "I can't exactly change my mind now."

"Harry, you can do whatever you want." Liam spoke softly. "No one's expecting you to stay with him if you don't want to."

Harry's gaze stayed focused on the table. He didn't want to look at his friends because he knew they were right. Was he being over dramatic? The last thing he wanted to do was make a rash decision and ruin everything, but he had an idea of what he wanted to do.

The bell rang and they all went to class. Throughout the entire day, Harry's fingers were itching to turn on his phone and see what Louis was saying. He missed him so much but was resisting for the sake of his own sanity. School was the main focus right now - Louis could wait. His education was the most important thing because it would always be there but Louis wouldn't.

The moment the last bell of the day rang Harry hastily walked out of class and whipped out his phone and turned it on. His hands shook in anticipation as the startup icon popped up and it took him to the lock screen. His phone stalled before being overloaded by texts. He noticed there had been a period of time where Louis stopped texting him and if Harry had to assume anything, Louis had fallen asleep, but when he woke up Mr. Walter told Louis to not text around Eleanor or her suspicions would arise. Harry wasn't supposed to exist when Eleanor was there. He almost didn't want to exist regardless because this wasn't worth his time.

He hesitantly opened the long string of messages, starting from the response to his text this morning.

From: Lou

Harry what do you mean ?

From: Lou

Please tell me youre not breaking up with me :(

From: Lou

You cant be breaking up with me

From: Lou

Harry please

From: Lou

Just let me explain, i promise everything isnt what it looks like

From: Lou

:(

From: Lou

Im not going to stop until you answer me. Im not letting you go this easily

From: Lou

Please dont be mad at me Harry. Just let me explain :(

From: Lou

Please answer me :(

Harry clenched his fist. His mind was screaming at him. He didn't know what to do. One part of him wanted to cry out in agony and scream his feelings for Louis - fuck Eleanor and the media, Louis was his boyfriend, damnit, and he wanted to show him off and spoil him as much as he could and tell him how amazing and wonderfully talented he was, but the other part of him wanted to end it all. He wanted to erase the memories of Louis and the impression he'd put on Harry's skin with his fingertips and his lips as they brushed against his jaw. He wanted to forget all the nights they spent wrapped up next to each other, tickling each other's arms and pressing Eskimo kisses to their noses, blowing air in their ear when either of them became too obnoxious. The bakery incident, France, the movie, Prague, the pictures, the songs, the handwritten letters, he wanted to forget it all.

It was his problem and his alone; he didn't wan to involve anyone else. Either choice of his he'd have to deal with the consequences, whether good or bad. Harry didn't want to break up with Louis; he felt cheated but knew what he was getting into. It was his decision, so it was his consequence he'd deal with the rest of his life.

He was angry - livid - to the point of wanting to scream at Louis; begging him to understand the situation Harry was in. He couldn't tell people he had a boyfriend, he couldn't post pictures of them everywhere, he couldn't hold Louis' hand when they were in public, he had to hide every miniscule piece of emotion he held towards Louis which led his heart to ache. He'd never felt such deep emotions up until the first night in bed when he came home from France and went to reach for Louis but he wasn't there. It was at that moment that Harry realized how much Louis meant to him and how badly he missed him when they were apart. It took every ounce of Harry's self control to not be too clingy or text him every second of the day. He wanted to drop out of school to travel with Louis and support every charity concert and every venue and interview and everything he did.

But he couldn't. And that's what was killing him.

Harry took in a deep breath, calming his shaky hands. He slowly typed out a text to Louis, reading it over and over before pressing send. He didn't notice when a tear dropped onto his screen.

To: Lou

I need some time to think.

He hardly took three steps before his phone vibrated.

From: Lou

What do you mean ? Harry , i miss you, just please let me explain :(

To: Lou

This is a conversation we should have in person, not through text

From: Lou

Well what am i supposed to do , fly all the way to England ?!

To: Lou

You tell me.

From: Lou

Please dont be that way :( I know ur mad but i promise ill make it up to you :(

To: Lou

How? By telling me that next time Eleanor is going to be there?

From: Lou

Listen to me i honestly had no idea she was going to be here until i walked into my hotel room. I already told you that !

To: Lou

Im sorry Lou, i just cant do it anymore

Harry felt his emotions bubbling to the surface and quickly retreated to the boy's bathroom. He locked himself in the largest stall and leaned against the wall, breathing erratically. His phone slid from his hand and dropped to the tile floor, spouting a web of cracks and he hid his face in his hands. It vibrated relentlessly against the floor but he ignored it. Calls and texts were flooding the device but he couldn't hear it. The only thing he could hear was the overwhelming sound of blood rushing through his system and he could only see fuzzy patterns of purple and blue dots.

He felt cold inside, hollow. His mind was muddled and all his logic was crashing into each other. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. There was no reason for him to exist without Louis, but what else could he do? They would never get to be a normal couple. There would always be inhibitions, misgivings, inconveniences, it would never work out.

With that realization, Harry's emotions burst at once and he fell to the floor, sobs racking his entire body. The sounds echoed around the desolate bathroom and at that moment all Harry knew was complete and utter abandonment.

XxX


	17. Chapter 17

XxX

A week passed.

Each day felt like a knife being dragged across his torso; long, agonizing, torturous, distressful. There wasn't a heavier heart than Harry's and he didn't know how much longer he could take it.

Life without Louis had no meaning. Harry felt alone, barren, desolate, and void of any adventure. He always felt bored - tapping his pen in class trying to shut off his clenching heart trying to writhe away the pain. He felt angry all the time, there was nothing any of his friends or family could do. He was angry with himself for being so naïve and trusting so blindly, but he was also angry with Louis for not staying faithful.

But you're not the one calling the shots, Harry reminded himself. Louis may be your boyfriend but you'll always just be a second option.

After school he would go home and fall asleep on his couch. There was nothing else he felt like doing except falling into a comatose state where all his problems were irrelevant. He had good grades, Niall was his best friend and partner in crime, his mom and sister loved him, and Louis didn't exist.

There hadn't been any contact ever since Harry sent that last text. There were no more handwritten messages in his locker, no presents, no flowers, nothing. Even when his phone turned back on in all its cracked-screen glory, there were no messages. Harry can't blame Louis either, a breakup over text wasn't the ideal way he wanted to end their relationship - not that he ever wanted to in the first place, but it was inevitable - and he felt like an idiot for doing so. If there was one thing he ultimately regretted about their whole relationship was the breakup. Why did things have to end that way?

Harry found himself wasting time to ease away the pain by running or indulging in schoolwork or sleeping. One particular day he was rummaging through his drawers to find his phone charger when he spotted a book stashed at the bottom of the piles of papers and notebooks. He slid it out and looked at the cover. It was the book he had been meaning to start for ages. He had brought it into work with him the day Louis came in with Eleanor, and ever since he'd never found time to read it. Harry had been too preoccupied the past three months to think of anything else except Louis.

It was the last day before their winter break and Harry strolled into the school, book tucked under his arm, and went to his locker. Niall met him there with a smile but it faltered when he saw the book. Harry just smiled, and Niall didn't say anything the rest of the day.

It wasn't until when Niall was driving Harry home he finally spoke up.

"Haven't seen you read in a while." He said.

"I know." Harry responded. And that was it.

The first few days of the break were uneventful. Harry helped his mum and Gemma decorate the tree a bit more - Gemma's friends decided to buy her tons of ornaments because for some reason she collected them - and he hung each one delicately on the fake branches while watching the snow fall outside. It was a mild snowfall, but just enough to add serenity to the picturesque view he had out his window. The lights were dim in the living room and there was Christmas music playing through an old, crackly radio his mum had back when she was a kid. The sound of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas was playing as if it was a scratched record, though wasn't Harry paying much attention.

Suddenly, Gemma and her friends came bombarding through the front door, ruining the placid mood. Harry scowled as he watched them all trample to the kitchen and Gemma came in last, laughing and telling inside jokes, making her friends roar with laughter. Harry sighed and looked at the box of ornament he still had left to hang. He didn't want to be downstairs while Gemma and all her friends were partying. It was just a reminder to him that Niall and Liam were the only two friends he had and they were busy, so that left him all alone. He was boyfriendless and his Chihuahua ran away in his Nintendogs game last week. His life was just fantastic.

Gemma paused at the entrance to the kitchen, letting her expression fall. He bounced over to Harry and plopped a Santa hat on his head, making him cringe.

"Lighten up, you salt." She said. "It's Christmas in a few days! Be happy."

Harry chuckled, grateful at her attempts to cheer him up. "I am, I promise."

Gemma gazed at him for a moment before ruffling the hat. He laughed when it fell off-centered and he took it off, ruffling his hair before putting it back on his head. Gemma grinned in approval.

"Okay, just looking out for my baby brother." She said softly and Harry felt a swelling in his chest. He nodded, unable to say anything.

Of course his family had asked what happened the moment Niall came through the door with Harry's arm wrapped over his shoulder, but since then no one really brought it up. It was almost taboo to even mention the past few months, especially when Harry began to fall back into his normal routine, such as reading and casually lounging on the couch. He didn't remember the last time he'd actually read a book - or even relaxed for that matter - before he met Louis. Everything was a blur.

Harry left the box of ornaments for Gemma and her friends to decorate before going up to his room. He glanced at the calendar and saw it was the twenty-second. He sighed, remembering the yearly chocolate calendars his mother used to get him and Gemma when they were little. He remembered one year Gemma had gotten too impatient and ate all twenty-five chocolates in one sitting and threw a fit the rest of the month when Anne wouldn't buy her a new one. She would constantly glare at Harry when he pulled his own chocolate calendar out of the pantry to eat a chocolate, and he would stick his tongue out at her before she dragged him outside and shoved snow down his shirt. He laughed to himself. Those were the good days.

He lied back on his bed with his hands behind his head, staring up at his ceiling. Back when he was little, he used to try and find different shapes out of the texture. Once he found a dog head, then it turned into the rump of a cow. Him and Niall used to go cloud watching and would do the same things, throwing their fingers to the blue sky when either of them found a shape. Thinking of Niall made Harry reach over to his nightstand to pick up his cracked phone, unlocking it and scowling as his thumb ran over the shattered glass.

To: Nialler

Hows the party?

The response was almost instantaneous.

From: Nialler

Soooo boring im about to die ,, seriously come and save me !!

To: Nialler

Youre in Ireland I don't think I can do that :P

From: Nialler

I know im just joking! Wht are u doing ?

To: Nialler

Im in my room. Gemma invited friends over

From: Nialler

Ew

To: Nialler

Yeah. Its all good though.

From: Nialler

I wish I could be there with u :( im srry I couldn't invite you

To: Nialler

It would've been awkward if I went anyway, don't worry about it

From: Nialler

But my family loves you !!!

To: Nialler

I know

From: Nialler

Soooooo.... has he texted you at all?

Harry bit his lip.

To: Nialler

No. And I don't think he will. Hes probably pissed.

From: Nialler

Well thts his problem. He doesnt know what hes missing !!!!

To: Nialler

Yeah a case of seasonal depression and lack of holiday cheer. Sounds ideal.

From: Nialler

Haz don't say that :( if I was there I would take you sledding and dump snow on you at 5 am

To: Nialler

I wouldn't put it past you!

From: Nialler

:) gotta go , fam is bringing out the beer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry covered his mouth to muffle his uncontrollable laughter.

To: Nialler

Ok Niall, don't get too drunk :)

From: Nialler

If i call u at 4 am I apologize in advance !! Goodnight hazza ! :DDD

Harry didn't reply. Niall had already most likely been chugging a pint of beer as he was typing. He found himself smiling, but the expression soon dropped. He was left in the darkness alone; only hearing the crackling radio still playing Christmas songs and the chatter from Gemma's friends downstairs. A text soon lit up on his phone and he scrunched his eyebrows as he saw it was from Niall.

From: Nialler

Go do something with liam instead of finding designs on your ceiling wall all break !!

Harry laughed. Niall knew him too well.

XxX

The next day Harry called Liam.

"Oh okay...I had something planned with Sophia but do you want to join us? It wasn't really a date."

Harry cringed. Of course Liam already had something planned, he was just that type of guy to already have his whole break planned out. Especially with Sophia, those two were inseparable. It was a miracle when him and Niall got Liam to themselves.

"I don't want to intrude on your guys' time," Harry said, surprised at how depressed he sounded. No wonder Liam wanted him to join them.

"No, it's fine! Soph is completely okay with you coming. Besides, Niall is gone so you have no one to hang out with."

Harry decided to not take that offensively since it was true. He could hear the sympathy in Liam's tone, so what the hell, he would go.

Harry found himself standing at the top of the bowling alley watching Sophia throw her ball down the lane. This totally was planned as a date, but Liam knew Niall who knew Harry better than he knew himself so it all came down to "invite him to come with you or feel my Irish wrath when I get back home". Harry can only imagine the threatening call Liam received at three AM demanding he take Harry anywhere he wanted to go the next day regardless of what he already had planned. It almost annoyed Harry how much Niall cared, but at the same time, he would do the same for his friend any day.

The ball struck all ten pins with a loud clatter and Sophia clapped her hands together, running to give Liam a hug. Damn, it was only the second round and he was being beaten. Harry had to step up his game.

Liam went next and got a gutter ball twice, which Harry totally thinks he did that on purpose to make Sophia feel good. He scoffed, aiming with precision and only striking five pins. The next round he only got three, putting him in second place.

Sophia went again, and got a spare, to which pissed off Harry, because how was she so good at this? Either she was a secret bowling champion in disguise, or her and Liam went on a lot of dates. He assumed the latter, but threw the ball down the lane anyway as his turn came. He didn't care when it fell into the gutter or when it struck all ten pins the next time. The screen above flashed SPARE!!! in fancy lettering.

"Good job, Harry!" Sophia said as she picked up the pink ball. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and sat back down, watching as she lined up in the middle and threw the ball professionally. It barely missed a single pin and she frowned, going to get another ball. Harry was brought out of his trance when Liam sat next to him with a smile that clearly said, "you're upset and I'm supposed to talk to you because if I don't Niall will have my head and because I care for you as my friend".

"I already know what you're going to say, breakups happen, it was my decision so I shouldn't regret it, blah blah." Harry said, leaning against the chair. Liam simply chuckled and crossed his legs towards Harry.

"Nah, not what I was going to say at all." He said. Harry raised an eyebrow. "I was just going to say how you're letting my girlfriend beat you at bowling."

Harry cracked a smile. "Liar."

"I'm being serious!" Liam held his hands up in defense. "When we used to go all the time you won every time! What happened?"

Harry put his hands behind his head. "I got a life, that's what happened. And got into a shitty relationship that gave me nothing but heartache."

Sophia came to sit back down but Liam caught her before she could. "Will you go for me, love?" He asked quietly, not leaving any option but to do as he said. He gave her a quick kiss on the hand before turning back to Harry. "I don't think it just gave you heartache. Every time you came home you were the happiest I'd seen you in the whole time I've known you. He made you happy, Harry, you can't deny that."

Harry stared at the ceiling, his lips pressed in a firm line. "I know he did. But the circumstances weren't in our favor."

Liam shrugged. "Then there's nothing wrong with that." He glanced at Sophia who was throwing bowling pins down the lanes turn after turn. "Do you remember Danielle?"

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"We dated for a while before I met Sophia. I don't think I knew you very well back then, but Niall did. He was with me through thick and thin. All of our fights, arguments, the good and the bad." Liam smiled as he reminisced in the memory. The expression soon fell. "But she broke up with me. Not quite the same reason as you, but I had met Sophia and started talking to her. One day she was left at school and I offered her a ride. It was a simple gesture, but Danielle took it as I wanted Sophia instead, and completely overreacted before she ended it."

"That's terrible." Harry said.

Liam nodded. "But you see, the point is she didn't know the full story. Her parents had gotten in a car crash and she didn't have anyway to get to the hospital, so I took her there and stayed with her most of the night. She cried and cried but her parents were okay. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

Harry shook his head slowly.

"Danielle broke up with me on impulse because she was jealous and insecure. Now I'm not saying I'd take her back," Liam glanced at Sophia, "ever. Because Sophia is a darling and I love her very much and I wouldn't want anyone else in the world but her. She enhances me like Louis enhanced you; he changed you - in a good way - but you let pride get in the way."

Harry looked to the floor, consumed in his thoughts. He'd never heard the story of how Liam and Sophia met, but now it all made sense. Liam chose Sophia because she made Liam want to be a better person - she made him want to try harder and do things he wouldn't normally do. She made him happy, unlike Danielle who had been full of insecurities and only pulled Liam down with her.

"All I'm saying is I think you burned the bridge a bit too quickly." Liam said carefully. "And I understand you were upset, you had a right to be, but you should've communicated with him better. He was across the Earth in a completely foreign country doing adult things while you were at home in your comfort zone surrounded by family and friends. Imagine how Louis felt getting that text while he already felt like shit having Eleanor there."

Harry felt like the shittiest shit, more than Louis probably felt getting that text. Liam was right - Harry was prideful, insecure, jealous, resentful, and impulsive. He never meant any of the things he said in those messages, that was his insecurity talking behind a screen and the comfort of knowing Louis was on the other side of the world. He felt like a complete dick. He was a Danielle, not a Sophia, and that's not who he wanted to be.

"So what should I do?" Harry asked.

Liam shrugged. "You could shoot him a text, ask to talk if he's back in the country. It's Christmas, after all, I wouldn't doubt he's going to see his family."

Harry looked to the floor, fiddling with his thumbs nervously. Could he do it? Could he face Louis after all the terrible things he said and silent thoughts he cursed him with? No, there was no way. Harry was a coward and he knew it.

He had never fallen so hard for someone in such a short time. His heart had been broken and strung onto the ground before having it stomped on and scraped into the ground. That's what he felt like, that his love had ended up as a waste. Louis couldn't love him, he had Eleanor, and Harry could never measure up to that. All the times he'd cried himself to sleep the past few weeks until he was numb never would amount to his worth. He'd always be second.

Liam turned back to bowling to see Sophia was already on round seven. So far, she was still in the lead while Harry was in second and Liam a close tie. He hopped up from the seat and pressed a kiss to her temple, smiling.

"Thanks love." He said. She simply smiled and handed him the bowling ball.

Harry let them play his turn the rest of the game.

Afterwards they went to a small café. As they sat down, they all ordered soup to counter the cold, endless snow that was falling outside. The bushes and trees were lined with white and the roads were filled with slush. Harry stared out the window as they drove back to his house to drop him off after a long, emotionally taxing day.

"Thanks, guys. I didn't mean to intrude on your date." Harry said, standing outside the driver's door. Liam's window was rolled down and he shook his head.

"You're not a burden, Harry. We had fun." He said. Sophia nodded in agreement and Harry felt somewhat better. He waved as they pulled out of his driveway and he went inside, kicking off his boots and going to the fire to warm his hands. It was about four PM, so he still had a ton of time to kill before Anne and Gemma got home. He hadn't wanted to stay any longer with Liam and Sophia in fear that they would begin to resent him for intruding.

Harry paced around the kitchen for a bit before grabbing a banana and going up to his room. He pulled the book out of his drawer and checked which page he was on before going back downstairs, sitting on the couch and pulling a blanket over his lap.

A while later after he made himself some tea, he found himself engrossed in the book, eyes scanning across the pages, sentence by sentence, word by word. It was a beautiful book, the way the words were placed upon the page in such a poetic way. Harry felt like he was sleeping on the ocean waves, gently rocking to and froe with the water, completely in harmony. He was so relaxed until he was finally brought out of his stupor when he heard knocks on the door. He flinched and looked up at the clock, puzzled. It was eight PM and pitch black outside and neither Anne nor Gemma was home yet, so who would possibly be at the door?

He gently set his tea on the coffee table and put his bookmark in the crevice of the spine. He was about three fourths done with the book, and he even surprised himself how immersed in the book he had become. His mind still wasn't fully functioning that his legs were moving towards the door until he opened it and the cold wind rushed in, making him flinch back. When he opened his eyes, his heart dropped to his stomach.

"L-Louis?"

XxX


	18. Chapter 18

XxX

He gently set his tea on the coffee table and put his bookmark in the crevice of the spine. He was about three fourths done with the book, and he even surprised himself how immersed in the book he had become. His mind still wasn't fully functioning that his legs were moving towards the door until he opened it and the cold wind rushed in, making him flinch back. When he opened his eyes, his heart dropped to his stomach.

"L-Louis?"

His eyes were glossy. The tip of his nose was red from the cold. He was drowning in the fabric of a big parka and a scarf wrapped around his neck and covered the bottom of his chin. He looked upset, almost like he'd been crying. "Harry, please." He said. "Can I come in?"

Harry opened his mouth to speak but his words were lost at the tip of his tongue. There were so many questions swimming through his mind he didn't even know where to begin. Why did Louis know where he lived? Why was he even here? Why should Harry even let him in?

Because he's your boyfriend.

Was. Harry corrected himself, biting his lip. Or at least I'm think we broke up...

"Harry," Louis snapped, "I'm freezing my fucking balls off. Just let me in."

Harry's eyes quivered as he moved to the side. Louis stumbled through the door with his suitcase and bag and gasped as the warmth from the house encased around him. He dropped his belongings to the floor and stood dormant, rubbing his bare, swollen red hands together to get the blood circulation flowing. His hands were completely stiff from the cold. Harry slowly shut the door, never taking his eyes off the boy in front of him.

"What are you doing here?"

Louis glared at him through frosted eyelashes. "Give me a minute, I'm still frozen half to death."

Well, he definitely didn't lose his sharp tongue, Harry noted. He blinked, still both agog and aghast that Louis was actually here standing in his front entryway.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" Harry questioned, since that was the only thing he was able to verbalize.

Louis nodded quickly, trying to calm his chattering teeth. Harry went into the kitchen and pulled out a mug and put water in the kettle, setting it on the stovetop. Louis slowly shuffled into the kitchen, looking around the interior of Harry's house with an expression that was unreadable. To Harry, he looked damaged from the freezing weather outside, but that was it. He couldn't tell what Louis was thinking at all. Louis slid onto a barstool placed at the counter and hunched together, attempting to preserve his body heat.

"Why are you so cold?" Harry asked, looking back at him from the kettle. Louis didn't look up at him.

"I walked here partway."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "From where?"

"The outskirts of the city. I had a cab drive me here from Manchester Airport, but he fucking sucked. Once I knew I was in Holmes Chapel I just walked the rest of the way since I didn't want to pay him."

"Where are Phil and Nicholas?" Harry felt weird knowing so much about Louis since their lives had been disconnected for weeks. He felt estranged to everyone he had been close to when he was with Louis, but since they had broken up, he'd lost all those connections.

"It's holiday break, they're not in charge of me." Louis' voice was hoarse. Harry wanted to hug and cuddle him until he knew that Louis was safe and warm but he couldn't do that. Things were awkward, and Harry could feel the thick tension between them. They were thriving off of small talk, hoping to get to the real point sometime in the near future. Louis didn't come here just to idly chat over a cuppa; there was a specific reason. Louis raised his eyebrows as Harry prepared the tealeaves and put it in the strainer. "You're going all out?"

"I was having some of my own. I figured I might as well make some more." Harry closed the lid of the teapot and went to the coffee table to pick up his own cup that was now half-filled with lukewarm tea. He would definitely need to burn his tongue for a situation like this to check if he was dreaming.

After letting the leaves set for a few minutes in a heavy silence he poured both glasses until they were full and Louis took his graciously. His hands flinched away as they touched the hot cup, but soon, they adjusted to the temperature and Harry watched him carefully as his hands wrapped around the warm porcelain. There were still so many questions running through his mind but he didn't even know where to start.

"Stop thinking so hard. You're making my brain hurt." Louis said, blowing the steam away from his cup. Harry frowned.

"You can't blame me. You don't talk to me for weeks then show up on my doorstep."

There it was. There was no more beating around the bush, no more letting the sleeping dogs lie; he had to get this over with before it caused him more pain and suffering. The inevitable part of it was Louis was most likely going to chew his ass off.

"I tried to tell you but you weren't listening!" Louis' tone was sharp. He took a sip of tea and raised his eyebrows. "What kind is this?"

"Irish breakfast." Harry said, his patience running thin. Was the type of tea seriously distracting him at a time like this?

"Thought so." Louis looked down at the cup then shot a glare back up at Harry. "What was your deal anyway?"

"My deal?" Harry scoffed. So Louis was pinning all the blame on him now. "My deal was that you went to LA and told me you were going by yourself. I trusted you, Lou, then Niall shows me all these articles about yours and Eleanor's date!"

"I told you I didn't know she was there until I walked in the hotel room." He sneered. "Why don't you believe me?"

"Oh I don't know, try being in my shoes for once." Harry threw his hands out in defeat. "I can only see you when it's convenient for you, not me, I have to watch you snog your fake girlfriend you don't even love and you can't take me out anywhere."

"That's not fair to say, Harry. I've brought you many places, if you hadn't remembered." Louis said snidely. The words came tumbling out of Harry's mouth before he could think.

"I tried to forget."

A look of pain crossed Louis' features, making Harry cringe. He was being harsh, but how could he not be? He'd been miserable the past few weeks, thinking Louis had been telling the truth saying he'd be alone in Los Angeles only for Harry to find out that wasn't the case. Eleanor was there, and part of him wanted to believe Louis and the other part was mocking him, saying he's an idiot and he was cheated on. Harry forced himself to swallow; his mind was swirling in a rage of emotions.

"You really tried to forget?" Louis said, his voice weak. Harry felt a lump form in his throat and nodded solemnly. Louis looked down at his cup and stared at the foggy reflection. "I see."

"What else was I supposed to do?" Harry asked desperately, holding his hands out.

"I don't know, maybe believe me!" Louis persisted. "Everyone thinks of me as this horrible liar who can't stay in a relationship and has no idea what he wants in life but I can assure you Harry that they're the ones lying. You fell into their trap and broke up with me!"

"I didn't break up with you," Harry put it in quotations with his fingers, "I just said that I needed time." It was true, that was one thing that hadn't been defined. Clearly it was causing both of them exasperation.

Louis ran a hand through his hair, leaning his forehead against the palm of his hand. He shook his head with his eyes closed. "Harry...you have no idea how upset it made me. I was torn inside. I had to smile for the cameras." He sniffed and looked up at Harry, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Do you know how hard that is? To fake like you're not on the end of your rope? Those were the hardest weeks of my life. Without you I feel like I'm nothing, I am nothing. I was miserable and a complete wreck. I need you, Harry, you complete me and you make me happy. I don't want to ever let go of that."

He wiped his eyes and shook his head, taking a deep breath. "I want to take you everywhere, I want to hold your hand in public, I want to do all these things with you but I can't, I just can't, and I'm so sorry you have to go through all this shit because of me but if you just give me another chance I swear I won't screw up!" Tears slipped down Louis' face and he wiped them away. "I don't care what people say when we're together. I just want to be with you." He tentatively reached his hand out, touching Harry's knuckles lightly. "Forever and ever, remember?"

Harry felt like his lungs were in his throat. There was nothing he could say to even describe how he was feeling. Louis' touch was so pure, so fragile, and he was here bearing his heart and soul to him and all Harry could do was stare. He couldn't deny it anymore. The past weeks he'd only been trying to convince himself that Louis lied to him, but that wasn't the real problem. The real problem was Harry didn't want to be replaced, and because Eleanor had been there unexpectedly, he had felt abandoned - unnecessary, irrelevant - in Louis' life because he had it all. Money, fame, popularity, he could get anyone he wanted at the blink of an eye. Harry knew that and was reminded every time they were together, so it made every day the most frightening experience of all, thinking that at any moment Louis could choose to walk away. He had been trying to cover up how terrified he was of being abandoned, so had taken drastic measures into his own hands.

"You can't always control the situation, Harry, and once you learn that you'll be a lot happier."

He was an idiot. A true, undeniable idiot, thinking that Louis didn't love him. Even though the words had never been uttered, Harry could hear it in the silence, he could feel it when they were in their hotel room together sitting with their limbs tangled together and hands brushing against skin, he could see it when Louis gave him a look of pride that was engrained in his mind as he went to sleep, he just knew. He'd tried to deny it to avoid getting deeply hurt, but if he were to be finally be honest with himself, it was most empowering feeling in the world.

Louis kept his gaze evenly on Harry before blinking out of his stupor. He looked back down at his cooled down tea and fiddled with the handle, taking Harry's silence as the only logical answer there could be. Harry didn't want him anymore.

"Y-You...don't have to believe me," He bit his lip, trying to keep his tears from falling past the rims of his eyes, "just...that's all I came to say. I'll see you later, Harry." He slid off the chair and zipped his coat back up. Harry watched with a scowl as Louis rewrapped the scarf around his neck.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, his tone unsettling.

"I'm going to see my family in Doncaster for Christmas. I wanted to clear things up with you before I went home." He said making sure his voice didn't waver. He came to do exactly that and to see the outcome. So far, it wasn't going in his favor, and it was breaking his heart. But he couldn't let Harry see that.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but the words were lost. Louis abandoned his half-empty cup of tea and was throwing his bag over his shoulder while pulling up the suitcase handle to go who-knows-where. Louis couldn't handle the weather outside - he had showed up here frozen half to death and just recovered. If Harry knew Louis as well as he thought he did, he knew for a fact Louis was putting up a front to act like he didn't care about Harry anymore. They were both idiots, acting like they didn't care when it was the complete opposite. And now standing there in his kitchen watching the person who made him happier than anyone in his entire life pack up his belongings to leave and never be seen again, Liam's words echoed in his mind.

"She enhances me like Louis enhanced you; he changed you - in a good way - but you let pride get in the way."

No. There's no way Harry was going to let that happen. Not again. Louis had put his heart on his sleeve and Harry wasn't about to let it go.

He took long strides to Louis, who was going to ask what he was doing, but was cut off when Harry smashed their lips together. Louis stumbled back and his bag dropped off his shoulder onto the floor. Harry pushed him against the wall, kissing him harder, putting every pent up emotion he'd felt the past few weeks. He'd missed this so much; it was like a drug he couldn't get enough of. The feel of Louis' lips against his, his scent, the sound of his breaths, the feel of his body, his laugh, his smile, everything. Louis' hands went up to Harry's curls and tugged at them desperately, pulling him closer. Their hands roamed and their tongues swirled together, trying to cover every inch of skin they'd been deprived of for so long. The moment only seemed to last a millisecond before a voice rung in their ears.

"Harry?"

They both tore apart and Harry spun around. Gemma and his mother were standing in the doorway with wary looks on their faces. He glanced back at Louis who simply looked mortified. He pursed his lips together, unsure if this would end up being a good consequence or a bad one, but judging by the expression on Anne's face she just looked confused.

"Who is this?" Anne questioned, trying to comprehend why her son had just been snogging a stranger against the wall. Harry had about five seconds to explain or he was going to be in trouble.

"U-Uhm," He cleared his throat, pulling Louis closer to him by his waist. "Mum, Gemma...this is Louis. Louis Tomlinson."

Louis gave an awkward wave and they all four stared at the each other for a long, long time until Gemma squealed loudly. She grabbed Louis' hands and yanked him forward so their faces were only inches apart. Louis leaned back unsurely, sending Harry a look of discomfort.

"Oh my gosh, Harry said you were hot but I didn't think he actually meant it!"

Louis heard Harry snort beside him. Louis' eyebrows twitched in amusement.

"You must be the sister that always slams on her breaks." He retaliated, a small smirk forming on his lips. Gemma's mouth dropped and she glared at Harry.

"You told him?!"

He held his hands up defensively. "He's my boyfriend, of course I did!"

Louis felt his heart throb at the word boyfriend. Gemma sneered at him then turned back to Louis. "What are you doing here then? I thought you and Harry-" She stopped when Harry held a hand between her and Louis.

"I came to clear things up." Louis slid his wrists out of Gemma's grasp, stepping closer to Harry. "When I went to LA, things got a bit complicated."

"He's told us." Anne said, folding her arms. "Why now of all times?"

"Because it was the only time I could." Louis said sheepishly, looking to the floor. "I'm going back home to Doncaster for Christmas so I figured while I was nearby I should say something."

"Where are you staying tonight?"

Louis was taken aback by the question and shuffled his feet nervously. "Um, I was just going to go straight to Donny tonight."

"At this late hour?"

Louis blinked. "Um, yes ma'am."

"How are you getting there?"

"Cab." Louis shrugged. "No other way."

Anne shook her head. "Stay here tonight then. It's the least we could do for you in your travels." She looked at Harry. "And besides, I haven't met you yet."

Harry tried to hold back his smile as he looked at Louis. Louis looked nervous beyond compare but that was how Anne liked it. She was always skeptical of people at first but then grew to love them immediately, no matter how tough she acted at first.

"No, I really don't want to intrude. I was rude barging in this late and-"

"Louis," Anne cut him off. "you're sleeping here."

Louis looked at the floor and nodded, not wanting to argue further. "Okay."

"I don't care if you do it outside, just as long as nothing explicit happens under this roof." She winked at Harry and Louis' face instantly lit up. Harry and Gemma burst into laughter.

"Do you need help unpacking?" Harry asked after his laughter died down. Louis shook his head, still trying to ease his tension.

"I just want to get out of these clothes...they're wet."

"Not the only thing that'll be wet tonight." Gemma strolled past them casually and Louis covered his eyes with his hand. Harry resisted strangling her.

"Gem, will you go get him pajamas from my drawer?" He asked as sweetly as he could muster. Gemma scoffed.

"Jeez, just sleep naked with him." She walked up the stairs. Harry snorted and Louis broke into a fit of giggles.

"I wouldn't be opposed to that." He said. Harry lifted an eyebrow and he had to keep his thoughts from spiraling into the gutter, though he was still harboring the hard-on from minutes before.

"Really now?"

Louis cast him a smirk from the side. "Do I get to sleep with you tonight, Mr. Styles?"

"I think you do, Mr. Tomlinson, unless your magnificent body needs it's own bed." Harry sent a devious look to Louis, feeling himself get anxious just at the images of Louis' naked torso. He shook his head; he had to stop before it got out of control. Luckily Louis didn't seem to notice his internal horniness.

"No, I think my body will be fine right next to yours." His smirk morphed into a smile and Harry's heart warmed at the sight. A smile really did suit Louis better than a frown. He always wanted to keep it like that.

Louis dragged his bags upstairs and set them in the corner of Harry's room. Gemma purposely forgot to get him pajamas, so Harry had to himself. The pajama pants were loose on Louis' waist and they showed more of his hipbones than necessary, but once they were under the blanket together Harry could only focus on Louis' face - the shape of his cheekbones, the angle of his nose, his long eyelashes, and the brilliant color of his eyes - Harry loved and missed it all.

They were tangled up together, a lot like when they had been in France, and Harry could only lie there and relish in the feeling. When his eyes were closed, he didn't have to worry about the illusion disappearing once he opened them because now it was reality. He felt as if a ten-ton weight had been lifted from his shoulders - Louis came back and that spoke novels to him. There was no longer the anxiety constantly clawing at his back asking if Louis was going to leave him, he felt completely secure within their relationship. He no longer was questioning anything; he was at peace with himself.

Louis was stroking Harry's hair gently and letting his eyes trail over every centimeter of his face. Harry was so beautiful. Louis hated when they were apart; he missed Harry so much. His heart had been slowly ripping apart by the seams at every unspoken word that only lodged a deeper hole in their relationship, but now, that was gone.

"I missed you." Harry said, leaning forward to press their noses together. "So much."

Louis sucked in a breath. "I did too."

Harry smiled and let his lids flutter open. He brushed Louis' fringe away from his forehead.

"You look cute in my clothes." He commented. Louis raised his eyebrows.

"Really? They're like twenty sizes bigger than me."

Harry forced a frown and pouted. "I'm not that fat."

Louis scrunched his face together as he giggled and tapped Harry on the nose. "You're not fat, you ham. I like them. They're warm."

"Says the one calling me a ham." Harry's fake frown dropped and he went back to smiling. He pressed his lips to Louis' slowly and full of fervor. They were both happy to be next to each other again - it had been miserable when they were apart. Eleanor was nothing compared to Harry and Louis' company beat loneliness any day.

"So Harry, I...have a question." Harry had turned his back to Louis and he draped his arm over Harry's waist.

"Yes?"

"Do...do you, uh," He let out a nervous chuckle, "want to come with me to Doncaster and meet my family?"

Harry looked at him with shock. "What?"

Louis averted his gaze. "I mean, you've never met them and I know it's quick, but I figured since I just met yours that I should invite you to meet mine-"

"Louis, stop," Harry turned around to face him, smiling from pure amusement. "Of course I'd love to meet your family."

Louis let out a big sigh of relief. "Okay, but as a forewarning I have a lot of sisters."

"How many?"

"Five."

He spluttered. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "I'm the oldest. I have a little brother too but he was just born a few months ago. Poor lad, having to grow up in a house of girls."

"What are all their names?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow, there's too many." Louis said, turning to his back. "Also, how do you feel about going down to London to record our songs? There's a studio down there I'm rather fond of and my agent and the owner are good friends."

"That sounds lovely." Harry smiled. Louis hummed and flipped Harry so he was facing the wall and he snuggled to his body, wrapping his leg around Harry's hip.

"What are you doing?" Harry chuckled.

"Making sure you don't leave me." He muttered. Harry felt his nerves flare up - Louis could say the simplest things and it would still make his heart race and fill his stomach with butterflies.

"I'll never leave you, Lou. Ever."

He swore he felt Louis smile against his hair. Louis pressed a soft kiss to the back of Harry's ear, sending chills up his spine.

"Noo, you can't do that to me right before we sleep." Harry whined. Louis clasped his hand over Harry's mouth, petting his hair with the other hand.

"It's called self-control, Hazzy." He was being cheeky.

"Fuck that." Harry scoffed, rolling out of Louis' hold and straddled him, smirking down at Louis' astonished face.

"You, Harry Styles, are a wonder to behold." Louis said. Harry grinned cheekily and bent down to press a kiss to his lips. They moved against each other slowly at first, then roughly, building up tension and speed. Louis sat up and held Harry's neck in place as they kissed lasciviously. Louis' mouth trailed down Harry's neck and sucked lightly just below his jawline. Harry's head fell backwards and he let out a breathy moan, clutching the back of Louis' shirt as teeth nipped tantalizingly slow at his flesh. Louis noticed his impatience and pulled away, a full-blown smirk on his face.

"Bit needy there, aren't you love?" He said, making Harry squirm in desperation. He tugged on Louis' neck and they fell backwards so Harry's back was pressed against the covers. Louis brushed away the curls from Harry's forehead gently before dipping down to kiss him.

"I just missed you so much." Harry said, gazing into Louis' blue eyes. Louis smiled.

"I missed you too."

Harry sighed before pulling Louis down so he was direction lying on top of his torso. Louis drew circles in his inner bicep as he rested his head on Harry's chest.

"We should really go to sleep." Louis said after a while. Harry pursed his lips out in a pout.

"But Louiiiiiis."

He gave Harry a dispraising look. "No."

Harry tilted his head to the side. The sexual tension was thick; they hadn't done anything extremely explicit since France, which Harry was craving all too much. he knew Louis was too, but for some reason he was holding back. Louis swallowed and licked his lips, bending down to capture Harry's mouth with his own. Harry's hand went to the back of Louis' neck to hold his head in place. The rest was all a blur - the kisses, strokes, love bites, emotions - Harry had to clasp a hand over his mouth or else he would've let out a loud gasp when Louis sucked particularly hard on his collar bone and raked his nails down his sides. They pulled apart, breathless and all heart-eyed as they stared at each other.

They reveled in the atmosphere. Louis felt so much better now with Harry in his arms, slowly drifting to sleep with the slow rhythm of his chest moving up and down. There was no denying his feelings; he was completely and utterly in love with Harry. He had to push all his inhibitions away or else it would never work out. The only problem was, Louis didn't know if he could do that. There was so much more to him than Harry even knew, and Louis worried if Harry ever found out he would immediately be driven away.

For now, Louis stroked Harry's curls lightly, repeatedly pressing kisses to his shoulder. There was no place he'd rather be.

Louis slowly fell asleep with a smile on his face, completely content.

XxX


	19. Chapter 19

XxX

Louis and Harry stirred at the sound of the door opening. Gemma peeked her head in the room slowly - she'd be damned if she saw a wild male genital flying about; she wanted to keep her semi-virginal eyes, thank you - and resisted the urge to vomit at the sight of her brother in bed with Louis. Why was he allowed to sleep with his boyfriend people but she wasn't? Not that she ever had a boyfriend in her life, but there was some serious injustice taking place in this household.

"Are you decent?" She asked, fearing to even open her eyes.

Harry groaned and rolled over, glaring at her. "Go away Gemma."

"But mum made breakfast and is withholding it until you two wake up." She put her hands on her hips. "So get up so I can eat." Gemma left the door wide open and Harry let his head fall back on the pillow, letting out an irritable sigh.

"What time is it?"

Louis glanced at the clock on Harry's nightstand. "Nine."

Harry sighed and sat up slowly, turning to look at Louis. He smiled down at his splayed fringe and drooping eyes. "Good morning, by the way."

Louis smiled lazily and pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek. He got out of bed, going to the window and stretched. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and he chuckled.

"I still can't believe I'm here." Louis said. Harry hummed in the crevice of his neck and Louis squirmed at the vibrations it sent down his spine. "I was a little drunk last night."

Harry raised an eyebrow though Louis couldn't see. "Really?"

"Mhm." Louis nodded. "Long car ride, you know. Nice little neighborhood, by the way."

"Yeah, it's a good one." Harry said looking out the window. The rooftops were covered in snow and the sky was cloudy. There was a small draft coming in from the crack of the window, but it smelled cold and fresh. They stood in silence for a while, gently rocking back and forth. Harry didn't want to let go and Louis certainly didn't want to pry his hands off. Soon, the moment was broken when Gemma walked past Harry's room exclaiming her annoyance to him taking his sweet time, and Harry stuck his tongue out at her before pressing a kiss to the back of Louis' head.

"I'll get dressed. Do you want some clothes?"

"Sure." Louis said, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. Once Harry was gone, Louis wrapped his arms around himself and sighed. He already missed Harry's touch. The clothes he was wearing smelled just like him and they were baggy and warm. Louis had never felt more at home in his life.

Harry walked out of his closet and handed Louis some clothes, walking downstairs as Louis got dressed. He sat at the counter and his mother put a plate of food in front of him. Waffles with strawberries and whip cream - his favorite.

"Where's Louis?" Anne questioned.

"Upstairs. He'll be down in a minute." Harry replied, getting a fork and sitting back down. Soon, Louis came trotting down the stairs and Harry's face lit up. Anne watched with amusement as Louis practically leaped into Harry's lap and kissed his cheek. Harry giggled and pressed their lips together, and Anne saw the nervous look Louis casted her as he did so.

"I like my clothes on you." Harry said, looking him up and down. Louis gave Harry a look.

"Yeah well they look massive on me." He scrunched his nose and Harry chuckled. Anne slid a plate of food in front of Louis and he looked up in surprise.

"Nice to see you in the light, Louis." She said. "I can see why Harry would be a fan."

Louis looked at his plate flustered and nodded. Harry nudged him in the side.

"Why are you being so shy?" He asked.

"I don't know." Louis shrugged halfheartedly. "This is all new."

"Well there's nothing to be scared of." Anne leaned on the other side of the counter. "I'm not as scary as I appear to be. I am Harry's mum."

Louis laughed and took a bite of his food, his eyes widening shortly after. "This is really good."

"Family recipe." Harry said through a mouthful of food. Louis sent him a glare.

"Have some manners."

Harry smiled cheekily and wiped his mouth with a napkin. Anne cracked a grin watching the two.

"So, tell me a bit about yourself Louis. Harry hasn't told me much." She said. Louis instantly froze, slowly setting his fork on his plate. Harry scrunched his eyebrows in confusion but Louis gave him a reassuring look.

"Well I'm from Doncaster." He said, his mind instantly reverting to the scripted answers he would say in interviews. Louis' eyes quivered, realizing he wasn't in an interview, and forced himself to relax. His fingers tapped on the counter anxiously, his mind not quite in the conversation. "I'm the oldest of seven. They're all my half-siblings though."

"Oh?" Anne raised her eyebrows.

Louis nodded. Anne was onto him. "My mum had me with my-" He pursed his lips and cleared his throat, "uh, and then she got remarried and had four of my sisters. Then they split and she got remarried to her current husband and they had twins only a bit ago."

"That's quite a family." Anne said, sending a quick look to Harry. "Do you like your current step-dad?"

"Oh yeah," Louis smiled. He was proud of his newfound ability to force himself to relax. It was getting better. "He's good to my mum so that's all I care about. He's a kind bloke."

"I can tell you care about your mother very much." Anne got a glass of water for the three of them and took a sip of hers. Louis raised an eyebrow as he grasped the cup.

"How could you tell?"

"The way you talk about her. You two have been through a lot." She sent a wink to Louis then looked to Harry. He was too busy eating his waffle to notice. Louis shuffled his feet nervously on the barstool; he suddenly wasn't so relaxed anymore.

"What made you want to sing?" Anne questioned, changing the topic. Just by talking to Louis for less than five minutes she already knew everything about him. It seemed as if Harry didn't know any of this yet by the way his attention kept switching between the plate of heaven in front of him and his boyfriend beside him.

Louis slid the fork out of his mouth slowly, looking up to the ceiling. "Uhh...I would say just because I love being in front of people. Music is my passion and I love performing." He smiled down at his lap, trying not to let his emotions conflict. He was starting to stress out. "I can prove that I'm worth something when I'm successful."

Harry let the fork dangle in his mouth with one eyebrow cocked up. Back in France, Louis had said he hated performing, so was Louis lying to impress his mum or was there another reason why he said that? Louis knew exactly what Harry was thinking and cast Harry a quick look, making him scowl and assume the latter. Louis had an ulterior motive.

Anne nodded and her eyes traveled to Gemma who was just walking in the kitchen. She sat down and rested her arms on the counter. "What are we doing today?" She asked.

"Well it is Christmas Eve Eve," Anne said. Harry and Gemma gave her a dull look while Louis covered his mouth to muffle the laugh that escaped past his lips. "Oh, don't be so uptight you two!"

"Louis wanted me to meet his family." Harry said quietly. All their eyes snapped to him.

"Seriously?" Gemma asked incredulously. Harry glared at her.

"In Doncaster?" Anne asked. Louis nodded and finished off his water, shifting in his seat uneasily.

"Yes...if you wouldn't mind. My birthday is tomorrow and they wanted me to come home-"

"Your birthday is tomorrow?" Harry cut him off. "You never told me that!"

"I didn't find it relevant," Louis spoke nervously, giving him a smile. Harry's expression fell.

"Well I think it is."

Louis stared at Harry and was about to speak but Anne cut in. "How long would you be staying?"

"Until he needs to be home, but I can always drive Harry back for Christmas. It's only a few hours away." Louis responded.

"No need, he can stay at your house."

Both Louis and Harry's eyebrows shot up. "What?" They said simultaneously.

Anne laughed. "Harry, you can go spend Christmas with Louis' family if you'd like. He is your boyfriend and you don't even wake up until noon."

"That's because Gemma ruined Santa for me..." Harry muttered, casting his sister a deathly look. She gave him a peace sign.

"O-Oh no, I couldn't take Harry away from you." Louis stuttered, "Family is more important."

"Nonsense. When were you two leaving?"

"Tonight..."

Anne pursed her lips. "Well, why don't we have a nice dinner tonight and then you can go? Think of it as my early birthday present."

Louis opened his mouth to protest, but he closed it, sighing deeply. He smiled softly. "Thank you, that'd be lovely. Um, of you'd excuse me for a moment." He jumped off the seat, leaving his half-eaten waffle and hurried up the stairs with three pair of curious eyes trailing after him. Harry had no idea what Louis was being so jittery over unless Anne spiked his water.

"He's just nervous." Anne said. Harry turned his head to his mother though he was only able to give her half of his attention. "But he'll be fine."

"I've never seen him like that before." Harry said, furrowing his eyebrows. It honestly was concerning to him, Louis had been just fine this morning. "He's never that jumpy."

"Could be anxiety." Gemma said, taking a bite of her waffle. "Has he ever said anything to you about it?"

Harry shook his head. "No, not at all."

"Well don't pressure him. He might be embarrassed about it." Anne said, taking Harry's empty cup and plate to the sink. She rinsed them off then put them in the dishwasher.

"Yeah, I'm just worried."

Gemma scoffed, taking her plate to the sink as well. "Don't be. If you two can hold a long distance relationship, break up five times and still get back together, then it's no big deal."

Harry pursed his lips. Gemma was right, they'd gotten through so many more things bigger than this, what was Louis having anxiety going to change anything? He just had to take medication, that wasn't a problem at all. Harry had known people throughout his life that had anxiety and they never stood out from others in a crowd. Maybe Louis was worried Anne had found out right away and would judge him for it, hence why he'd been so edgy. Harry wanted to reassure Louis that nothing would be different if that turned out to be the case. 

XxX

Louis held tightly onto Harry's arm as they walked around Harry's school. It turned out, after Harry finished his breakfast, he'd gone upstairs to his bedroom only to find an empty pill bottle lying by Louis' travel bag and Louis frozen in place in the bathroom, his cell phone next to him vibrating with texts, his face pale and his hair matted to his sticky forehead. Louis refused to answer any questions and simply demanded a cup of water. Harry got it for him and Louis had been latched to Harry's side ever since, occasionally throwing snippy comments towards certain things but that was it. Harry definitely didn't mind the proximity but he was worried something happened and Louis wasn't telling him.

Louis seemed to be in a foul mood. Since the building was locked, they were simply walking around the outside hearing their boots crunch on the snow, which Louis murmured his disdain for the cold, but Harry distracted him by pointing out which classroom was which and what hall his locker was in. Louis said nothing but at least it stopped his incessant complaining.

Louis let out a frosty breath in the air and pulled his scarf around his neck tighter. His breath dissipated into the air and he watched it in wonder as it drifted up into the sky. Harry's footsteps faltered as he stopped to look back at Louis.

"You okay?"

"No. It's cold." Louis said through chattering teeth. Harry smiled in amusement and wrapped his arms around Louis.

"Do you want to go back?"

"Only if you're finished." He said.

Harry pressed a kiss to his forehead and took him by the hand. Harry led him back to the car and they got in and Harry started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. Today was good so far, Harry decided. He and Louis were in a good place - though he was in a bad mood today Harry just took it as not a good night of sleep or the fear of Anne knowing about his anxiety. Harry desperately wanted Louis to know he could talk to him about anything and there would be no judgment or break ups. Unfortunately, it seemed like Louis wasn't ready to open that topic for discussion yet, but Harry didn't mind.

They pulled into an oh-so-familiar parking lot and Louis stepped out of the car. He looked at the sign and scoffed at the sentiment it held. This is where it had all started; Mandeville Bakery.

"Quite nostalgic already, isn't it?" Harry said lightheartedly.

"It is." He nodded in agreement.

Harry led Louis inside and once Harry's co-workers saw them their faces lit up. "Harry, long time no see!" They all enveloped him in hugs one-by-one with their floury aprons. Harry laughed as he wiped off the white powder off his coat.

"Hey guys, how's it been going here?"

"Very slow without you. You bring life to this ol' bakery." His manager came out of the back and smiled. "You're looking well! What'll you have this fine afternoon?"

Harry turned to Louis with a mischievous eyebrow raised. "Apple strudel?"

It took a moment for Louis to make the connection and then gave Harry an irked expression. "Very funny."

"Have you seen anyone as attractive as me yet?" Harry bit his bottom lip to contain his smile. Louis' expression grew darker.

"Harry."

"What about my hair? Is it still fascinating?"

"I'll have a plain strudel, please." Louis snapped his head to the manager, his mouth pressed in a firm line. Harry was giggling like a mad man and she looked between the two before blinking. Harry ordered in between breaks of laughter and Louis folded his arms.

"Come on Lou, I'm only teasing."

He rolled his eyes and Harry snuggled his nose into the crook of Louis' neck. He flinched away as Harry's breath tingled against his skin and he shoved Harry away. "Idiot."

Harry pressed a kiss to the side of his cheek and took the pastries from his manager. "Thanks."

"No problem, Harry." She smiled. "Remember, you work the day after New Years!"

"I'll remember." He waved and they sat down. Harry blinked as he recalled Louis and Eleanor sitting in this exact spot. He spaced out for a moment until Louis kicked his shin underneath the table.

"Ow!" Harry pulled his legs under his chair. "What was that for?"

"You're ignoring me." Louis flared his nostrils. "I don't like it when you do that."

Harry shook his head hopelessly though a smile graced his lips regardless. "Lou, I'm not ignoring you. Just reminiscing."

"About me and Eleanor?" He raised an eyebrow challengingly, taking a bite of his pastry. Harry's expression fell.

"Yeah, it's been a while."

"Well, it's over now, so don't think about it." Louis looked out the window. The snow was falling gently on the pavement. Slush crowded the corners of the sidewalks and parents held their children close as they walked across the streets, fearing that they might slip on ice or a car would spin out of control. Louis' eyes quivered and he took another bite.

"Do you like it?" Harry asked.

Louis nodded, outstretching his arm to Harry. "Try some." Harry shook his head.

"I know what it tastes like."

Louis' arm fell and he frowned. "Please?"

Harry chuckled and when Louis held the pastry out to him again he took a bite. Some of the filling smeared on the side of his mouth and he wiped it off with his thumb before sucking it off. His gaze burned into Louis who swallowed harshly. Harry raised his eyebrow as he let his tongue slowly graze against his lips that were twitched up in a smirk. This was payback for all the times Louis did this to him and he had been too shocked to do it back.

"Something the matter?"

"No." Louis answered hoarsely. He cleared his throat and Harry grinned, biting his bottom lip. He knew Louis knew he was just playing, he was only acting annoyed but deep down found it humorous. He had to see the irony in the situation.

Harry slid his foot across the floor so it was now touching the side of Louis' foot. He looked up at Harry with a mischievous glint in his eye and slowly took a bite of his pastry. Harry caressed his chin with his thumb gently.

"Louis Tomlinson, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Maybe." He answered cheekily. He moved his other foot so it was touching Harry's other. "You started it."

"That I did." Harry smiled impishly and was about to say something but his phone suddenly rang loudly in his pocket. Both of their expressions fell as Harry pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. He held up a finger to Louis and turned sideways in his chair. "Hey, Niall."

He didn't see the look of pure disdain cross Louis' face.

"Aye mate! You busy right now?"

"I'm with Louis right now." Louis raised his eyebrows up at the mention of his name. "Why? What's up?"

Niall stayed uncharacteristically quiet. "Oh, I had to tell you something, but that's okay, you can be with him."

Harry frowned at Niall's tone. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah! I know your time with him is limited so I don't mind. Have fun."

"Wait! Niall-" Harry took a deep breath. Why was Niall acting so distant? "-why don't you just tell to me? I know he won't care; we have a few days together."

Niall forced a chuckle on the other end. "Nah, that's okay. It doesn't matter anyway, I'll see you when I get home." He quickly hung up and Harry was left hanging. That was strange, Niall never called him unless it was something important. He didn't even seem fazed they were back together. What was that about?

"Was that Niall?" Louis asked, even though he already knew the answer. Harry slid his phone back in his pocket and nodded.

"Yeah, he had something to tell me but said it didn't matter."

Louis rested his chin on the palm of his hand. "He doesn't fancy me, does he?"

Harry hesitantly shook his head. "I suppose not. Though he said he was supportive of our relationship."

"That's 'cause he's your best friend. What's he gonna do, complain?" Louis scoffed, finishing the last bite of his pastry. "How would this ever work out? Your best friend hates your famous boyfriend."

"I'll write a book about it." Harry said, taking a bite of his pastry. Louis gave him a look of stupidity.

"I'd like to see that get published."

Harry grinned and lightly kicked Louis' shin under the table. Louis smirked and interlaced his fingers, slowly easing into the warm, comforting air of the bakery and his wonderful boyfriend.

XxX


	20. Chapter 20

XxX

"Again, dinner was fantastic, thank you."

Anne smiled and gave Louis and Harry a hug. "It's no problem Louis, happy early birthday to you! Now you two drive safe. Harry, be sure to text me when you get there since you're staying in the country this time!"

He flushed. They had early Christmas when they got back from dinner, and it turned out Anne had gotten Harry a new phone to replace the one he had shattered. He was sad to see his old phone go after having it for such a long time, but knew it was time to get a new one. They were now loading their belongings into the back of Harry's car while Louis was leaned against the door, checking his phone. "Yes mum."

"And make sure to check your mirrors and wear your seat belts, I don't want either of you going to the hospital because you go flying out the windshield!"

"I get it, I get it!" Harry laughed, throwing his bag into the trunk. He didn't know how long he'd be gone, but at least this time he was able to pack himself and not rely on his mother to try and match shirts with trousers. "I'll be back in a few days. It's only a two hour drive."

She kissed Harry on the forehead. "I'll miss you. Louis, don't distract him while driving!"

"I'll do just that." He said. Harry covered his giggle with a hand and Anne put her hands on her hips.

"I can always drive you two there myself-"

"Okay bye mum!" Harry pushed Louis to the passenger's side and opened the door. He sent Harry a glare but Gemma quickly intervened by embracing them both in a hug.

"Jeez Harry, I'm becoming an only child here." She gave him a pouty smile then turned to Louis. "Now listen, Louis, because this is important. On weekends he usually wakes up around nine and prepare for angry curly head - he's never happy in the morning. During holidays he gets really bored so he'll probably pester you until you rip all your hair out. He's super specific what he eats too; for breakfast, he likes cereal. Cold milk, has to either be plain almond or two percent. For lunch he likes whatever, dinner has to be hot food or he won't eat it, and before bed he always has a cup of tea, preferably some type of spice but he likes regular too-"

"Gemma," Harry snapped, his face ablaze. "He already knows all this!"

She laughed and held her hands up defensively. "I'm just saying in case he didn't!" She sent them both a look then smiled warmly. "Have fun, but not too much." She winked at them and scurried back into the house. Harry sighed and rubbed his face in exasperation.

"Just...ignore her."

Louis snorted and caressed Harry's cheek. "It's alright, love. I'd be concerned for you too if you were coming to my house."

Harry raised his eyebrows in amusement but said nothing. He leaned forward to press a small kiss to Louis' lips before shutting the door and getting in the drivers side. Once he turned on the car, the radio beamed to life and Louis' face contorted as No Control started blaring from the speakers. Harry hid his laughter and nonchalantly turned it up, swatting Louis' hand away when he went to shut it off. Louis groaned as he slumped back in his seat.

"Harry, I've had to hear this song more times than the age I'll live, I'd appreciate it if I could get a break at least once." Louis said. Harry bit his lip, trying to contain his smile.

"Nope, I like this song. It reminds me of how you are in the morning." He turned it up even louder and Louis rolled his eyes. Harry bounced his head to the beat as he drove through the town, heading towards the freeway. He started doing a shoulder thrust and Louis looked over and cracked a smile but shook his head and looked back out the front windshield. Harry sent him an amused look and turned the volume down so that it wouldn't interfere with conversation.

"What did you write this song about anyway?" Harry asked.

"I didn't." Louis answered ruefully. "They wrote it for me since it was my first song. When you start out in the industry they usually write songs for you just so you can get your name out there. All of the songs on my album right now aren't even mine."

Harry pursed his lips and gripped the steering wheel. He didn't have time to speak when Louis continued.

"It's not that I hate the songs, I just don't relate to them." He picked at his nails then lolled his head to Harry. "So I'm bored of them."

"Well," Harry said, not quite sure what he was going to say, "that's not what matters, it's all about the experience."

Louis scoffed. "You would say something like that." He looked around the interior of the car before messing with the heating vents. He changed the level of air from high to low and cold to hot repeatedly until he stopped in the very middle. Harry could only watch, purely entertained at his antics.

"Have you written your own song?" Harry asked, since the question was eating at him. Louis hadn't written any songs on his album, that was completely fine, that's usually how new artists started out anyway.

"Once or twice. They didn't let me put them on the album though since because I lip-sing I'm not a capable artist." The irritation in Louis' voice was apparent. "What a fat load of bullshit that is."

Harry wanted to change the subject. "Haven't you asked them to let you sing live?"

Louis huffed. "Harry, we've been through this. I'm bloody scared to. In front of you it's a different story."

"Then why don't you practice right now?"

Louis' face scrunched up. "Huh?"

"You're comfortable in front of me, so why not? If you never practice you'll never get better. Here," Harry turned up the volume. It was an upbeat song that he recalled being played on the radio countless times last year. Fortunately it was one of those songs he found before it went mainstream so everyone was sick of it before he was. "You know this song, right?"

Louis blinked. "Well, yeah, but-"

"Then sing. I haven't heard you since we were in France." Harry said, looking at him evenly. Louis' gaze quivered.

"Why haven't you asked?"

"I didn't want to pressure you." Harry said.

Louis felt his stomach drop. He couldn't identify this feeling. It felt like disappointment but he knew for certain that wasn't it. It almost felt lonely and hollow, but he knew that wasn't it either. His eyebrows scrunched together as he stared at the floor, trying to pinpoint the exact emotion. Then, he suddenly realized, it was that someone cared about his insecurity and respected it.

Louis let out a breath slowly and leaned back in his seat. He looked over despairingly at Harry then to the radio. He was terrified of something so trivial. He bit the inside of his cheeks; it really wasn't that hard to sing to the radio, he could always turn it up if he got off pitch. But what if Harry thought he was terrible? What if Harry hated his voice? People had always said Louis had a very distinctive voice but it wouldn't be marketable because of it. That had put a damper on his confidence and for Louis to sing for someone like Harry - who's opinion meant the world to him - it was mortifying to think of the outcome.

Louis took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, but then let it out sharply.

"I can't do it."

Harry said nothing. He looked over his shoulder as he switched lanes to get onto the freeway. The song ended and another upbeat one started. After a long string of silence to the pop music, Louis heard Harry take a breath and started singing.

Let it in your body

And the party won't stop

'Cause it's seven kinds of naughty

When you let the beat drop

I told it to you once

I said why don't you understand?

Tell the DJ drop the beat

Don't play some motherfuckin' band

Harry stuck his tongue out at Louis playfully and began singing the second verse. The end of Louis' lips rose in a smirk - hearing such foul language come from Harry's mouth was such a turn on. It wasn't often he did swear, but he seemed to have a habit of letting it slip when he was around Louis. It was slightly arousing, to say the least, but Louis couldn't think about that quite yet since he was trying to focus on Harry's voice. It had a deep rasp to it but it was perfectly on pitch. By the time the chorus came again, Harry had given Louis a challenging look and - Louis being the way he is - would be damned if he let his non-famous boyfriend win in his own career, so they were belting the song together.

I told it to you twice

I said why don't you understand?

Tell the DJ drop the beat

Don't play some motherfuckin' band!

Harry attempted to sing the intermediate part and Louis burst into laughter. Harry grinned over at him and when the opera voice came again, he opened his mouth widely and mimicked it. Louis held his stomach as laughter shook his entire body, losing all hope of any more singing. Harry hit his forearm lightly and Louis stared at him determined as they began singing together again.

Once the song ended, they both grinned at each other.

"See, you have a great voice!" Harry said.

"I wasn't even trying!" Louis protested.

"Still, it's good." Harry smiled at him and his attention was brought back to the radio. "Ooh, Thinking Out Loud, sing this one!"

"Harry, we're not turning this into karaoke car night." Louis deadpanned.

Harry turned up the volume and leaned back, keeping one hand on the steering wheel while the other was resting on Louis' inner thigh. "I'm listening."

"I like it when you sing with me." Louis muttered, playing with Harry's fingers. "I'm not so self-conscious."

Harry smirked and he gave Louis a pouty look. "Darlin' I will be loving you till we're seventy," He glanced at Louis with a cheesy smirk, "baby my heart could still fall as hard as twenty-three."

Louis snickered quietly and twiddled his and Harry's thumbs together, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to scream and cry at the top of his lungs at all these new emotions he'd never experienced before in his life. They scared him, but to know Harry was the one causing them didn't make it so bad.

Louis waited a few moments before joining in. "I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways," He cast a soft look to Harry as he felt something in his chest constrict, "maybe just a touch of a hand."

"Well me I fall in love with you every single day." Harry stared straight at Louis as he sang, not even giving a second thought to paying attention to the road, "and I just wanna tell you I am."

Louis sucked in a breath and tore his gaze from Harry to the window, forcing the anxiety in his stomach to settle. He shut his eyes and sang, letting his emotions pour out through the chorus. Unbeknownst to him, Harry slowly let his voice die away to let Louis' voice carry out. Once he was lost in the music he sounded so calm and emotional; Harry had never seen this side of him before. And especially today, Louis had been irritable all day but he'd seemed to calm down. His voice was so gentle it was as if it was the last time he'd ever sing in his life. Harry always knew Louis had a unique voice from the moment he heard No Control. He had been completely fascinated and enamored from the start, it was appalling that someone like Louis could have such a unique voice and not want to share it with the world.

Harry listened silently as Louis kept singing his heart out. Once the song ended, Louis looked over at Harry and his jaw dropped as he suddenly tensed up. "You weren't even singing!" He smacked Harry's arm making him burst into laughter.

"Of course not! I wanted to hear you!"

Louis hunched back in his seat with his arms folded like a small child. Harry had to resist the urge to laugh even more or Louis would only get angrier.

"Lou, you have a beautiful voice." Harry reassured, smiling at him. "I don't see why you hate it so much."

"It sounds weird." Louis muttered. "Like a little boy. I'm twenty-years-old tomorrow and I sound like a nasally munchkin with the pox."

Harry snorted at his analogy but went straight-faced when Louis cast him a glare. His smile began to slip and Louis smacked him lightly again, grabbing Harry's hand and starting to play with his fingers.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Harry ran his thumb over the top of Louis' hand gently. "Look how far you've come. I know you can sing; it's just a matter of believing that you can."

Louis said nothing as he stared out the window. He and Harry sat in silence, hand in hand, until Louis spoke quietly. He began in detail about his family and how they worked, all of his siblings, his parents - even some extended family - and all of their names. The whole time Harry listened intently, nodding every once in a while to show that he was listening. Louis couldn't help but smile as he gushed about the twins that had been born earlier in the year and played with the rings on Harry's fingers. Harry happened to notice Louis was very tight-lipped about his birth father and came to the conclusion that it was a sensitive topic for him but he didn't blame him.

After Harry was sure he had the basic knowledge of Louis' genealogy down, they drove in silence as the radio played quietly in the background and Louis drummed his fingers against his legs impatiently. He took in a breath and let it out dramatically, staring longingly out the window. He turned back to Harry and thought of a brilliant idea that might invoke a reaction from him. He brought Harry's hand to his lips and grazed the top of his soft skin, making him shudder under the touch and his grip on the steering wheel tighten. Louis looked at him deviously through his long eyelashes.

"Did you like that?"

"I'm driving." Harry said, hoping his voice didn't sound as hollow as it felt.

"Which makes you look sexy." Louis softly nipped at Harry's knuckles. Harry bit his lip and yanked his hand out of Louis' grasp, now sporting a hard-on that he couldn't take care of unless they pulled over.

"You're a tease."

Louis stuck his tongue out playfully then bounced in his seat. "How much longer?" He whined.

"About an hour and a half." Harry answered, not sure whether to feel more irritated that he had a boner or that he couldn't take care of it. Probably both. He could always have Louis give him road head but that might result in a crash and Harry absolutely did not want to admit to his mother the cause for veering off the freeway.

"Seriously?" Louis groaned. "I'm so bored!"

"Well if we pulled over..." A smirk came to Harry's face and Louis raised his eyebrows.

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

Harry gave him a cheeky grin then swatted his knee lightly. "I'm only kidding. We'll be there soon, just go to sleep. I have my phone with your address on the GPS so I'll wake you up when we get there."

Louis glanced down then back up. "You sure about that?"

Harry kept his gaze straight ahead because if he looked at Louis there was no going back. "Yes."

For some reason, a full-blown alluringly coy look bloomed on Louis' features. He slowly sat back in his seat and put his feet up on the dashboard in a tantalizing manner.

"Alright, whatever you say Harold."

Harry knew that Louis knew and was going to take advantage of it as much as he could. He scrunched his nose to brush the feeling off, and soon after a while, it calmed down and Louis appeared to be asleep. He was turned on one side with two vents blowing on him so he wouldn't get cold. Harry smiled fondly and rested his hand on Louis' thigh gently.

Soon it started to lightly snow. Harry found it relaxing since the roads weren't icy nor was it a big disturbance to his driving. There weren't any crazy drivers out and about so he was able to focus on maintaining an even speed while reveling in the atmosphere of the warm car. He glanced over at Louis and saw his lips slightly parted as his chest rose up and down - he was exhausted and Harry didn't blame him. The past few weeks had been a complete mess. Now he couldn't begin to fathom why he ever wanted to break up with Louis when he's the best thing that's happened to Harry.

His thoughts soon began to wander as they covered a long stretch of road. To him, Louis was an addiction. Every time they kissed he craved more and always tried not to act needy, but if he were to be honest, he badly yearned for every single part of Louis. He didn't just want a simple relationship anymore - he wanted to go deeper; deeper into the parts of their past they didn't share with anyone, deeper into their thoughts and why they acted the way they did, deeper into their physical relationship. Louis was Harry's first for everything and he wanted to take it another step further.

He sighed, glancing over at his boyfriend. He was still sound asleep, which made a pit of loneliness settle in Harry's stomach but also relief. It was good that Louis was sleeping because he needed it but at the same time Harry wanted to talk. He felt like Louis was so closed off about so many things and Harry just wanted answers. Answers to things like why Louis always avoided the topic of his birth father or why Harry found an empty pill bottle earlier that morning by his bag or why every time an article of clothing was removed Louis flipped out and walked away. It was frustrating at how many questions there still were that required trust and that was the one thing holding Harry back from honestly expressing himself. He trusted Louis but he didn't know if the feeling was mutual.

There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that he was in love with Louis, he just didn't know when to say it. Throughout their whole relationship it had always been Louis calling the shots and showing Harry all of the new experiences but this time Harry wanted to be the first to introduce something to Louis. He seemed so terrified at the concept of love and Harry didn't know why. Obviously love had never been something high on Louis' list of skills but it hadn't been for Harry at first either, but now that he found Louis he was pretty sure he had the hang of it. If Louis just trusted Harry then he wouldn't have anything to worry about and they could figure it out together, or at least Harry hoped wistfully.

He sighed, changing the radio to a classical music station and turned it up so he couldn't hear his thoughts.

XxX

Harry pulled his suitcase out of the trunk of his car and set it on the snowy ground. He had attempted to wake up Louis, but he was still half asleep in the front seat scrunched in his coat because Harry shut of the car and the heat with it, making Louis protest. He had been in a warm blanket of fluff until Harry opened the door and left it wide open so cold air was filling into the car, giving Louis no other option but to wake up. He blatantly refused to move until Harry turned the heat back on, but unfortunately, Harry wasn't taking it.

"Lou, wake up." Harry said, dragging his suitcase to the sidewalk. He was going to make Louis get his own bags because he was being stubborn.

"But it's cold!" He whined, burrowing further into his coat. Harry stepped through the small patch of snow to poke his side. Louis flinched dramatically, making Harry smile.

"I'll throw you in the snow!"

"You wouldn't!" Louis exclaimed, hopping out onto the curb immediately. He shut the door and glared at Harry but his expression soon turned soft. He pressed his hands to Harry's cheeks and rose to his tiptoes.

"I can't wait for you to meet my family." He said, eyes shimmering, and pressed a kiss to Harry's nose. He went to get his bags and Harry looked back at Louis' house - it was fairly sized with a garden in front that was topped over with snow. There was a small front yard and the door was to the left of the house. It was less modern than his own house but he rather liked it; it was different.

He picked up his suitcase and dragged it to the front door. Louis sent him a reassuring look before pulling keys from his pocket and unlocking the door, letting it swing open. They hardly took three steps inside before footsteps were heard thudding their way accompanied with screams. Two identical girls with bright smiles came skidding to the front entrance, startling Harry when they jumped into Louis' arms. His face lit up immediately.

"Louis!" They exclaimed, bouncing up and down. Louis enveloped them and their weight made him fall backwards onto his butt. He laughed and hugged them tighter.

"Daisy, Phoebe, I missed you!"

More footsteps were heard and Harry saw two girls trampling down the stairs. They both stopped on the bottom step, their expressions elated. Louis stood up with Phoebe and Daisy hanging on his legs and outstretched his arms. The two girls ran to hug him and two adults walked in from the kitchen with babies in their arms. Harry was so overwhelmed by the sudden presence of people that he hid behind Louis to put all the attention on him.

"Louis!" His mother said, embracing in a group hug. The man stood back and watched the scene unfold in front of him with a smile on his face, gently rocking the baby back and forth. Louis pulled back to look at Phoebe and Daisy, who were still hanging on his legs, and patted them on the heads.

"Wow, you've all grown!" He said wondrously, containing the biggest smile Harry's ever seen on his face. Louis turned to Harry, who was still deathly immobile, and pulled him forward. "Everyone, this is Harry Styles, my boyfriend."

Harry flushed at the introduction but nodded curtly. He was caught off-guard when Louis' mother suddenly gave him a one-armed hug.

"Nice to meet you Harry," She smiled. "I'm Johannah. I've heard a lot about you."

He smiled shyly and Louis' step dad outstretched his hand. "Nice to meet you lad, I'm Dan."

"Dan," He grasped his hand firmly. Louis beamed and shuddered as a gust of wind blew through the door.

"Dais, Phoebs, mind getting off? It's a bit chilly and I'm sure Hazza is freezing."

Harry felt embarrassed by the nickname now that it was being vocalized in front of people as the twins rolled off of Louis' ankles. They moved their suitcases and bag into the kitchen and the whole family migrated to the living room. Harry sat down and Louis mouthed something to Johannah before turning to Harry and holding up a finger. He retreated upstairs so Harry was left alone under the scrutiny of six pairs of eyes.

"Louis had to do something, he'll be right back." Johannah said, bouncing one of the babies up and down. "I'm glad to finally meet you in person."

"Yeah," Harry breathed, hoping to calm his nerves by twiddling his fingers mercilessly. "Lou talked about you guys the whole ride here."

Johannah and Dan cast each other a look and a blonde cleared her throat not-so-subtly. "I'm Lottie," She said, then gestured to the brunette next to her. "This is Fizzy."

"Lottie, Fizzy," Harry nodded, hoping to ingrain their faces to names because he'd never been around this many girls at one time in his life.

"I'm Daisy!" One of the twins popped up from behind the couch, which significantly startled Harry. The other twin appeared on the other side and scowled. "No, I'm Daisy, you're Phoebe!"

"Oh yeah," She smiled sheepishly, "I'm Phoebe, that's Daisy. That's Doris in my mums hands and Ernest in Dan's!"

Harry had no idea how he was going to keep any of the twins straight so he looked for any differences between them. So far he saw none, so he just nodded. "Nice to meet you. Louis said you two are his favorite siblings."

Phoebe and Daisy beamed at each other and he sent a cheeky look to Johannah. She winked at him and Louis came jogging back to the couch, plopping down next to Harry.

"Did I miss much?" He seemed out of breath, which was puzzling. What could he have possibly done in that short amount of time?

"We're just confusing Harry with the twins." Lottie said, flipping her hair behind her shoulder.

"Troublemakers," Louis ruffled Phoebe and Daisy's hair and they squealed. "Don't scare him off, he just got here!"

They giggled and Johannah beckoned them to come sit by her. They kicked their legs giddily and continually whispered to each other. Louis relaxed and leaned back on the couch, unknowingly resting his hand on Harry's leg.

"It feels so great to be home, it's been ages." Louis sighed.

"It's definitely been a while." Dan said, playing with Ernest's hands. He swapped babies with Johannah when Doris began reaching for him. Harry felt his heart melt at the sight.

"Harry, you have to know that Louis can be quite rowdy, I don't know if you've experienced that yet." Johannah said lightheartedly. "How did you two meet?"

Louis and Harry looked at each other and paused before laughing. It was so coincidental that they still couldn't believe it themselves. He let Louis tell from his point of view and the beginning wasn't much different from Harry's except Eleanor was brought up - which left a bad taste in Harry's mouth but thankfully Louis left her out the rest of the story - and skimmed the important details such as when Phil told him to take a risk and get a plane ticket for Harry, which Harry had no idea about but it was fascinating to hear how nervous Louis had been. He spoke of their experience in Prague - leaving out the clubbing incident, of course - and then their mild setback in LA to here. The whole time he was telling the story, he was always touching Harry in some way, be it their fingers were pressed against each other, their arms brushing, or Louis lightly caressing Harry's leg.

Johannah and Dan seemed keenly interested in the story and nodded, occasionally asking questions but not delving into anything too personal, Harry knew they would do that later. After the story was done, they all sat and talked about random things - not without an occasional interruption by Phoebe or Daisy - and Louis found that Harry got along with his family well; even Doris and Ernest grinned every time Harry smiled at them. Fizzy was tranquil as usual; Lottie was unusually quiet and it wasn't hard for Louis to piece together that she had a crush on Harry. She would glance at him then catch Louis looking at her and quickly avert her gaze. Louis smirked, putting his hand on Harry's thigh and rubbing it teasingly. Harry absentmindedly put his hand over the top of Louis' subconsciously and continued explaining to Johannah and Dan how he made the best muffins at the bakery, making Lottie frown. Louis flashed her a grin and she sneered at him.

"Okay you four," Johannah spoke up after a long conversation, standing up and bringing Ernest to her hip, "Harry and Louis are tired and it's a big day tomorrow. Say goodnight to him while he's still nineteen."

"No!" Phoebe and Daisy whined. Louis rubbed both of their heads to mess up their hair. They glared at him and viciously combed it back down.

"You'll see me tomorrow. I'm knackered, Hazza and I are going to sleep."

"Where is Harry sleeping?" Phoebe asked innocently. Louis and Harry cast uneasy glances at each other and Dan stood up, averting all their attention to him immediately.

"Louis, if you wouldn't mind having him sleep on the floor in your room." He took Ernest from Johannah and adjusted Doris in his arms. "Come on you two."

"It's Christmas Eve tomorrow!" Daisy exclaimed, running up stairs. Phoebe followed her sister in suit, Lottie retreated upstairs quickly, and Fizzy said goodnight to both of them before following Dan upstairs. Johannah kissed Louis on the forehead and hugged Harry tightly.

"Thank you for coming," She smiled and looked at Louis. "I can't believe you're going to be twenty tomorrow, I'm so proud of how far you've come."

Louis looked to the floor, nodding meekly. "Thanks mum. You too."

She hugged him again and squeezed his arm reassuringly and went upstairs, leaving Harry and Louis in the living room alone. The fireplace blazed brightly and Harry looked at Louis, letting out a breath of relief. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"You have a ton of sisters."

Louis laughed. "Yeah, well I warned you!" He gazed at Harry before kissing him tenderly. "Would you like some tea, love? Since Gemma so kindly gave me your strict eating schedule."

He scoffed but was still smiling. "I'd love some." He caressed Louis' cheek gently. Louis bounded to the kitchen and had to pause before remembering where the tea was kept. He scowled when he opened the cupboard and saw it was too high up for him to reach. Harry muffled his laughter as Louis had to drag a chair from the table to step on before reaching the tealeaves and jumping back down, sending Harry a warning look.

Harry broke into a fit of laughter and Louis put on a kettle of tea, deliberately ignoring him. Minutes later, the whistle blew and Louis prepared two mugs and brought one back to Harry. He took it graciously and let the steam rise to his chin, inhaling the smell. It smelled of oolong and spice, his favorite kind. He smiled at Louis.

"Thank you."

"No problem." Louis sat next to him and they both stared at the dancing flames in silence. The orange radiated off their skins and Harry sighed in content.

"I like your family," Harry took a sip of tea, relishing in the flavor as the warmth traveled down his throat, "they're very kind."

Louis chuckled. "Yeah, well Daisy and Phoebe are troublemakers. Lottie is too involved with her friends to care and Fizzy is mostly quiet."

"I could tell." Harry mused, linking his fingers together around the mug. "But I like them."

Louis smiled fondly. "Thanks. I'd have to say I like yours too." They looked at each other and smiled. Louis' expression faltered as a thought came to his mind and he squeezed his cup uncertainly.

"Harry...do you mind if I ask you something?"

Harry's eyebrows furrowed as he rested the cup in his lap. "Sure, go ahead."

"Well," Louis swallowed and his eyes trailed around the room diffidently. "Your dad...I noticed he wasn't there."

Harry immediately went rigid. He blinked slowly and forced himself to swallow and take even breaths. The topic of his father hadn't come up for years and it was almost a taboo topic in his household. He bit his lip and timidly leaned back on the couch. Well, this is what he wanted, wasn't it? For him and Louis to trust each other enough to reveal the haunting secrets of their past? He had to take a risk, knowing the possibility of relapsing into that period of time when all hope seemed lost but also know that he wasn't fully alone this time. He had Louis, his family, his friends, and that's all he would ever need. Eventually, Harry spoke.

"My dad...he left when I was seven."

Louis felt his heart break.

Harry cleared his throat and grasped the cup in his hands, willing his eyes not to get teary. It'd been so long since he even thought about the experience that he wasn't sure he could make it through without crying, but he had to be strong for Louis. "He's not estranged, but I haven't spoke to him in years." His eyes reflected the burning fire, flickering back and forth with the flames. They were glossed with emotions. "One day he sat Gemma and I down on the couch and said he was leaving. At the time I didn't understand what he meant but after a week I realized he wasn't coming back." Harry tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it was stuck along with a soreness that wouldn't go away. "Since then it's just been me, Gemma, and my mum."

"Oh Haz," Louis set his cup on the floor and pulled him into his embrace. Harry leaned into his shoulder, his gaze overcast with the recollection. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, it's over now." He said quietly.

The fire crackled loudly and Louis swallowed his own nerves, rubbing Harry's arm soothingly. He knew he'd been leaving Harry in the dark ever since they met, he'd kept his deep personal life strictly out of their conversations, but now that barrier had been broken he had to open up if he wanted to fully heal. He rubbed circles on Harry's shoulder as he spoke almost inaudibly. "Mine left when I was born."

Harry snapped his gaze to Louis. "What?"

Louis nodded slowly; avoiding the look Harry was giving him. "I don't even know my own dad. He threatened to leave my mum when she found out she was pregnant. He said, 'get rid of it or I'm leaving'." Louis' eyes quivered as he looked to the floor. "She chose me, so he left."

"I couldn't even imagine what that must've been like." Harry whispered. He was stunned - everything made sense now. The way Louis always avoided speaking of his birth father, the way he was so distant when it came to personal topics, how he put on a mask to hide what he was truly feeling, why he was so insecure about his voice, and why he was so hesitant to love. Harry wanted to hold him tightly until all his pain went away. He was still hurting from all those years ago, holding onto the resentment and anger. It was still an open wound that hadn't been properly sealed up.

Louis forced a smile. "I was hardly two weeks old, so you'd probably think, 'why is he so fucked up from this?' I don't even know myself, it's just I had to see the pain my mum went through as I was growing up. None of the girls know, not even Dan. Only my mum and I have scars." Louis slowly looked at Harry with tears on the brink of his eyelids. His voice cracked as he spoke. "Why are dads so shitty?"

Harry felt his heart wrench and he set his cup on the floor and pulled Louis into his lap. He squeezed him tightly, brushing his nose against his collarbones, breathing in his rosy scent. Louis buried his head into the crevice of Harry's neck, letting warm tears soak through the fabric of his shirt. Harry held Louis' head comfortingly and rocked back and forth slowly. "I'm so sorry, Lou. It's okay, it's hard, I know."

"I-I just," He sighed deeply, "I don't know whether to hate him or be relieved," His voice was shaky and he pulled away from Harry, his tone slowly growing in intensity, "Having a bastard like him be married to my mum and treat her like shit or leaving me to feel worthless. I'd rather suffer than my mum, she's too good for that. I want to hate him for leaving us and putting us through hell but I also feel like he's done us a favor." Louis wiped his tears away and shook his head.

"You're not worthless." Harry said sternly, holding Louis' cheeks so he couldn't look away. "Neither of us are. You and your mum are the strongest people I know and you didn't deserve what happened to you. It's his fault he left, not yours."

Louis brought his legs close to his body. He traced invisible patterns on Harry's chest, his eyes glazed over with emotions Harry recognized all too well. "How have you moved on so quickly? I hate him so much and I've never been able to get over it. He's caused my mum so much hurt and done us so much damage I can't stand even the thought of him."

"Time works differently for everyone." Harry muttered, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to the side of Louis' nose. He kept their proximity close. "I learned to accept that my dad wasn't coming back but that didn't mean it was my fault. It was his choice and out of my control so I learned to live with it, but just because I've moved on doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt."

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, staring past him at nothing in particular. "I hardly remember my childhood. All I know is that my mum worked all the time and was rarely home. I was at daycare most of the week until she met Mark. He was good for my mum, he helped her move on and they had Lottie, Fizzy, and the twins. He's more of my dad than my birth father is," His eyes narrowed but then they softened, "I miss Mark. He used to take me to the park and play football with me. He was the one that gave me any sort of passion for life again. We sang, played sports, ran, cooked, went on road trips, went boating...we did everything together."

Louis sighed and leaned his head on Harry's shoulder. "Then one day my mum came home with divorce papers. I had no idea what happened and within the next month he was moved out with custody of the girls left with my mum. It's not that he left on a bad note - it just happened so quickly that the five of us had no idea what was going on. Everyone acted out in their own way, but I was probably the worst." He let out a halfhearted chuckle, tracing the seam of Harry's shirt. "I was suspended more times from school by pulling pranks and talking back to teachers than anybody ever had which I'm sure gave my mum a heart attack each time. I probably caused her more stress than she needed but I was hurting inside." He paused. "Everyone I ever cared about always left."

Harry rubbed Louis' back softly. "I'm sorry, you and your mum never deserved this."

Louis nuzzled into Harry's chest. "It's okay, we're dysfunctional in our own way but we make it work." He kissed Harry's jaw. "What did you and Gemma do?"

"Well, it wasn't so much when we were little, but when we got older Gem started partying all the time." Harry said, absentmindedly twirling his fingers in Louis' brown hair. "I'll never forget the one time she came home completely smashed and got in a huge argument with my mum. I don't remember most of it 'cause I was supposed to be asleep but I snuck to the top of the stairs to listen. Gemma ended up running out of the house that night and my mum was up all night crying. We had the police looking for her and everything, it was pretty bad."

"Sounds like it." Louis said.

"Well it turns out she had been trying to find our dad the whole time," Harry's voice broke and he paused to compose himself. "She'd found his address and ran to his house. He turned up the next morning with her in the front seat of his car asleep and from then on things have been okay, though he's never fully come back."

Louis brushed the hair away from Harry's forehead, letting his thumb trail down his hairline. "How old were you when this happened?"

"Thirteen, so Gemma was fifteen." Harry said. "Crazy how long a scar that deep can last."

Louis scoffed. "No kidding. So what did you do?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm more boring. I just cried a lot and immersed myself in music. It always could describe what I was feeling even when I couldn't find the words for it. Niall was a big help at the time since his family helped ours when we went through financial troubles." He furrowed his eyebrows. "That's all."

Louis interlaced their fingers together, offering a gentle smile. "Here we are, two broken boys with no one to call dad."

Harry cracked a smile and looked down at their laps. "It's the anger that's the hardest to let go of. I still don't know or understand why my dad left but I'm sure there's a reason. I might find out one day but for now I'm not going to let it stop me from living my life."

"You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, love." Louis brushed his lips against Harry's curls. "I hope you know that."

"You are too." Harry said with a trace of amusement. "Think of how much you've accomplished in your life even when you had all the odds against you. For one, you're a huge celebrity with an insanely sexy boyfriend."

"Hey," Louis chided, "way to ruin the mood."

"It's my job." Harry said proudly. Louis smiled and kissed Harry slowly.

"I'm tired, this past week has been exhausting. Can we go to sleep?"

"As long as I get to sleep in your bed." Harry said huskily. His tone sent chills up Louis' spine.

"Maybe if you behave." Louis whispered in his ear. Harry smirked at him and nipped at the skin of his jaw.

"That sounds like a challenge to me."

Louis gave him a grin look before bolting out of the living room, abandoning their two mugs on the floor. Harry followed at a slower pace and they both dragged their belongings upstairs to Louis' room. Harry looked around and smiled at the unique space just meant for Louis. He thought it was endearing how they kept his room even though he was gone most of the year. Harry slowly walked around looking at each trinket and picture placed on his desk and shelves, each one holding some sort of significance. There was a picture on the desk in the corner of Louis when he was little sitting at a table with a man and he leaned closer to look at it. Harry assumed the man he was with was Mark. He was smiling largely and Louis leaned over Harry's shoulder.

"That's me and Mark."

"I thought so." Harry said, stroking the side of Louis' face. He stood up and looked around the room once more. "I like it."

"If that's sarcastic I might make you sleep outside." Louis said impishly. He pulled blankets and pillows off of his bed and dropped them on the floor. Harry frowned.

"We're not sleeping together?"

Louis paused mid-pillow drop and looked at Harry's innocent gaze. He set the bedding down slowly and rested his hands on Harry's waist.

"As much as I'd love to, I'm not going to defy Dan the first day I'm back. There's small children in his household." Louis kissed him curtly. "Tomorrow night. Then when I wake up you can be my Christmas present."

"I'm okay with that." Harry grinned. Louis hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad you're here."

Harry inhaled deeply as Louis' hair brushed against his nose. "Thanks for inviting me."

Louis finished making Harry's bed out of blankets and pillows, which ended up looking more like a fortress but Harry was okay with it. For a while, they were on Louis' bed talking, but when Louis fell asleep first Harry stayed next to him, gently tickling his arm with his fingertips. He was tempted to fall asleep next to him but if Louis was respecting Dan's request then he would too.

Harry regretfully slid off the bed onto the floor and he shivered at the lack of proximity. He pulled the blanket up to the bottom of his eyes and curled his legs to his body, slowly falling into a deep sleep.

XxX


	21. Chapter 21

XxX

Harry woke up to a sudden pressure on his abdomen, and he was utterly confused in his half-comatose state until he opened his eyes. Louis was looming over him, blinking innocently with a grin as large as the span of the Amazon River. He began to bounce up and down the way a giddy child would after having too much candy.

"Wake up Hazza! It's my birthday!"

Harry groaned and each bounce made his voice go up and down. Louis laughed and bounced even harder. Harry stopped him by quickly sitting up and capturing his lips in a deep kiss. Louis was effectively taken off guard and Harry smirked against his lips in victory. He rested his hands on Louis' waist. "Well happy birthday to you. How does it feel to be twenty?"

"I'm old," He whined, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and swaying back and forth. Harry chuckled and pushed Louis on his back so he was looming overhead and pressed a soft kiss to Louis' jaw, making him melt under his touch.

"You're now three years older than me." He said.

Louis scoffed. "Don't remind me." He poked Harry's sides and he flinched, giving Louis the upper hand. He quickly rolled out from under Harry and onto the floor, bracing himself for a tackle that was bound to come. Fortunately, he was prepared, so when Harry tried to pin him to the ground Louis effectively sat on Harry's torso and pinned his wrists down with his feet.

"I win." He said smugly, though he knew Harry hadn't even been trying.

"You win." Harry said, wiggling his fingers. "Am I going to be your birthday bondage slave for the day?"

"That's actually not a bad idea..." Louis pretended to stroke his fake beard but then grinned down at Harry. "Just kidding. We're going out to dinner tonight, you get to experience first hand what a real night with the Tomlinson-Deakin family is like."

Harry flashed a grin. "I'm sure it'll be great. I love your family."

Louis smiled proudly.

"How did you sleep?" Harry asked, since he himself had slept absolutely terrible. It had been cold, lonely, desolate, barren, and basically all the synonyms in a thesaurus for 'bleak'.

"Horrible." Louis frowned. "I wanted to crawl in with you but I didn't want the girls walking in on us. Dan would skewer me."

"Skewer?" Harry questioned in amusement. "I don't think so."

Louis said nothing and bent down, his face suddenly stoic. Their lips met carefully and Harry brushed Louis' messy hair away from his face. They didn't even care it was the morning - they just wanted to be with each other. Harry pulled his legs to his body to push Louis closer to him and Louis let out a small squeak when Harry bit his bottom lip.

"Someone's excited." Louis simpered.

Harry blinked innocently. Louis grinned and pressed a swift kiss to his lips and stood up, grabbing Harry's wrist and pulling him onto his feet. They both took their time getting dressed, brushing their teeth, and Harry caught a glance of Louis through the crack of his bedroom door swallowing some pills before hiding them once more, and they headed downstairs. Before Louis even set foot in the kitchen, Phoebe and Daisy screamed and assaulted his legs, hindering him from walking any further.

"Happy birthday Louis!" They chimed simultaneously. They both had reindeer antlers propped behind their ears and Louis laughed, taking Daisy's pair off her head, which she exclaimed in protest.

"You two are funny." He set the antlers on his head then took the other pair from Phoebe, pushing them on Harry's head. They fell down to his nose and he had to fix them upright. Louis cracked a smile as he did so.

"And tomorrow is Christmas!" Daisy squealed. They both stood up and ran to the kitchen where Lottie and Fizzy were sitting at the counter, the two babies were in their high chairs and Johannah and Dan were preparing breakfast. Johannah hugged Harry and Louis when they came into the kitchen and they set the reindeer antlers on the counter.

"I got reservations at your favorite restaurant for tonight, we can sing to you after." She said then turned to Harry. "I hope Louis didn't snore too loud last night!"

Louis flushed and looked to the floor, making Harry grin. "No, he's a quiet one." Louis' jaw dropped incredulously before slapping a hand to his mouth to cover his snickers. Harry elbowed him, trying to suppress his own smile, because that joke had been totally unintentional and came out wrong, but apparently Lottie and Fizzy understood it because they were giggling too. Daisy and Phoebe just looked confused and Johannah raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Did I miss something?" Johannah asked slowly, casting a confused look to all the older children. They erupted in laughter and Louis pulled Harry behind him, still inhibited from his uncontrollable giggles.

"Nothing, nothing! What's for breakfast?"

XxX

The day passed by in a blur. Harry didn't ever remember ever having to pay attention to so many things at once in his life. At one point, Doris spilled her food all over the floor and Johannah was cleaning it when Dan accidentally knocked over a plate to the floor when taking Ernest out of his high chair. Phoebe almost stepped in the glass but Louis grabbed her before that happened, then he bumped into Fizzy who knocked over the pile of snow in Daisy's hands she decided to bring in the house for some reason. The dirty snow melted all over the carpet and Lottie walked in the house in her socks, squealing when the water absorbed into the fabric. It was this huge domino effect that Louis acted like was a normal thing whereas Harry was exhausted by the time all the girls were fighting who got to sit next to Louis in the car on the ride there.

Dinner with the Tomlinson-Deakin family was definitely a different experience because Harry was used to just his mother and Gemma; but with two babies, two twins, two teens, and Louis it was definitely a party. First, they had to wait almost half and hour before a large table opened up, then the four sisters fought over who got to sit next to Louis, which ended up being Harry on his left and Lottie on his right because she 'was the oldest and the most privileged'. Then Daisy knocked her water all over the table and placemats and all of their napkins had to be used to clean it up. So by the time the waiter came around, they were napkinless and one water down, pushing their ordering time back further. The time had also taken longer because Fizzy had recently become a gluten-free vegetarian and was complaining about the food so she had to get a specially requested meal in intricate detail.

Harry thought he was going to go insane.

Louis noticed Harry's internal distress and typed something out on his phone before passing it to Harry under the table.

Do u still love my family? ;)

Harry pursed his lips to contain his smile. He typed back.

Of course. Just a lot of people, not quite used to it yet :)

He passed it back and was caught under the accusatory gaze of Dan.

"Are you two seriously texting when you're sitting right next to each other?" The question seemed rhetorical but it definitely had an upward inflection.

"I bet they're saying a bunch of mushy stuff," Phoebe said, "like how much they love each other."

"Ewwww," Daisy said, "or that they'll love each other forever!"

"Ha ha," Louis said, putting an elbow on the table which was quickly removed when Johannah sent him a look, "you only wish. It's grown up stuff, we're talking about my job."

"That's boring." Phoebe took a drink of her water and spilled some on her lap. She looked up sheepishly at her family and took her pile of napkins she had been given.

Harry felt an unnamable pang inside his chest. It was that love word, the one thing he dreaded that Louis feared most. They still hadn't brought it up and at this point Harry wasn't sure it ever would by the way Louis had been acting so indifferent about the topic. They were definitely closer from last night but there was still that last stretch they needed in the relationship before Harry could stop worrying completely.

Surprisingly, the rest of the dinner went smoothly. Lottie tried to take a call outside but Johannah simply gave her a look and she slumped in her chair after putting her phone on silent. Most of the time, Louis was talking to his family and Harry listened to him peacefully, but a few times he brush his hand against Harry's thigh and it would send shivers down his spine. Louis had to be teasing him on purpose by the way his eyes radiated deviance and flitted to the side to watch Harry's reaction. Each time he did it, it stunned Harry into complete silence even in the middle of his sentence and the touch along with a sultry side-look from Louis equaled a caught off boner that wasn't going away anytime soon.

The ride home was long, since they had to take two cars and they all fought who got to sit next to Louis again. Harry eventually leaned over in the midst of an argument - after deciding he could just sit in the front because it was ultimately Louis' decision what he wanted to do - and whispered, "Where do you want to sit?"

Louis leaned back and whispered, "Next to you."

Harry felt a sense of pride swell in his chest. Not because Louis was choosing something as simple as sitting next to him over his family...okay, maybe that was part of it but Harry also wanted to snog him on the hood of the car he was so infatuated with this boy but unfortunately fate was not on their side since there were four girls under the age of sixteen watching impatiently.

"Since Lottie had a chance it's Fizzy's turn. We'll go down the age line." Louis said, keeping a firm hold on Harry's hand. It felt as if his fingers were numb from the sparks between their skin that still collided like lightning to a metal rod. Even the simplest of touches could send Harry over the edge and he could imagine when the day finally came that Louis was claimed as his only one.

The rest of the ride was calm and Harry found that he rather enjoyed Fizzy's company. She was very easy-going and wasn't overbearing like the twins when they were together. Today had been draining not just physically but mentally as well. Luckily, Louis empathized and was rubbing soothing circles on his wrist as he spoke to Fizzy about her recent school experiences. She seemed to be having a good year though she often missed Louis when he was away.

When they got back to the house, Johannah had already set up the cake she had bought earlier in the day. Louis' eyes brightened as he saw it was a superhero cake, grinning widely as he took a picture of it. He sneakily took one with Harry in the background as well then put his phone in his pocket, wiping some of the frosting off and licking from his finger. Harry elbowed him in the side and Louis took another swab of frosting and smeared it on Harry's nose. His mouth dropped in disbelief and everyone burst into laughter. They all sang to Louis in a semi-horrible attempt to stay on pitch and were all given a slice of cake, even though Harry was tempted to smash his piece into Louis' face.

Afterwards, they were all seated in a circle by the fireplace; Phoebe sat next to Louis with Daisy next to her, Johannah, the babies, Dan, Fizzy, Lottie, and Harry. The whole family was given Christmas socks - even Harry, which he was surprised when Johannah pulled out a matching fuzzy blue pair for him and Louis - and Phoebe and Daisy fought over who got the polka dot ones. Louis opened all his presents next and they went around the circle and gave one compliment to him which Harry found the tradition heartwarming. When it came to Harry's turn, he felt so inadequate compared to the praises Louis' family said; they loved him and had known him for his entire life unlike Harry who had known him for only a few months. He muttered embarrassedly that Louis showed him a new way of life and everyone aww'd. Louis even pressed a small kiss to his temple.

"You look better than Louis said you did." Phoebe said. Louis froze and quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. Harry cast him smug look.

"That's her way of saying she thinks you're cute."

Phoebe struggled to pull his hand away from her mouth. "No it isn't! I remember when he first phoned mum about you! He said that you were-"

Louis threw Phoebe to the ground and she cried in laughter. Daisy jumped on Louis' back and they broke out in a full on wrestle war. The two girls giggled madly as Louis tickled them. Everyone laughed at their antics and Phoebe and Daisy successfully pinned both Louis' arms down, though he his legs were still flailing.

They both looked at Harry desperately while giggling. "Harry, come help us!"

Louis gave him a pleading look and Harry smirked, moving to sit on top of Louis' shins. He pouted and Phoebe and Daisy chanted triumphantly.

"We're stronger! We're stronger!'

"Okay, okay, you win!" Louis barked. Everyone was laughing and the three got off of Louis, allowing him to sit up. He adjusted his shirt and hair and glared at Harry.

"You betrayed me!" He said dramatically, putting a hand to his chest. Harry held up his hands defensively.

"I was only helping my team."

Lottie and Fizzy laughed. Louis cast them an annoyed look.

"Okay everyone, it's time for bed. It's been a busy day." Dan said, leaning Ernest and Doris against his hips. They all whined and Johannah held up her finger.

"If you don't go to sleep Santa won't come tomorrow." She chided.

Phoebe and Daisy looked at each other and gasped. "Santa!" They exclaimed, running upstairs. Louis chuckled and Harry leaned to his ear.

"Santa still exists?" He whispered.

"Of course." Louis gave him a cheeky smirk. "I help my mum set up all the presents."

Harry pursed his lips and nodded. Johannah hugged them both goodnight, told them she'd be back down soon to set up the presents, and went upstairs with Fizzy and Lottie. The two were left in the comfort of each other with the fire warming their backs. Snow gently fell outside the window leaving a blanket of white along the sidewalk. Harry inhaled deeply, rubbing his sock-clad feet together. The silence was peaceful.

"You went down quite easily." Harry said. Louis gave him a strange look until it finally clicked in his brain.

"Ohh, you meant the wrestling."

"Yeah, what did you think I was talking about?" Harry asked. Louis tapped his finger on his chin slowly, feigning to think.

"I could think of a few things..." He smirked but then scowled. "Hey, I'm not weak!"

Harry laughed. "Not what it looked like to me."

Louis pursed his lips and crawled sensually towards Harry on all fours. He watched apprehensively and tensed when Louis pounced on him, straddling his torso. Harry giggled as Louis hands went to his sides, mercilessly tickling him. Harry grabbed Louis' wrists and flipped him on the floor, making him grunt. Louis brought one leg up into his crotch and Harry flinched, allowing Louis shove him back to the floor and flip on top of him.

"Who's weak now?" He whispered breathlessly, a look of triumph flashing through his eyes as he loomed over Harry. It made the back of his throat hitch.

He leaned down and kissed Harry intensely, putting as much fervor into it as he could. Harry pulled against Louis' shirt to sit up and Louis was in his lap, their torsos aligned and lips locked. Louis ran his fingers through Harry's curls and tugged. Harry cupped Louis' bum to pull him closer to his boner that was now regaining life.

Louis yanked away and pushed Harry to the floor, immediately attaching their lips once more. His hips dipped down to meet with Harry's and he felt a breathless moan leave his lips. In the midst of their intimate moment, a thought flashed through Harry's mind and he began to panic. What if Johannah walked back down the stairs, what would she think? Or even worse, one of the girls? They were in the living room where there was absolutely no privacy. He didn't have much more time to think when Louis detached their lips and moved down to his jaw, nipping gently as his hand trailed up Harry's torso and squeezed his side. He dug his nails into the back of Louis' skin as pure euphoria washed over him.

Harry's mouth dropped open in a gasp when their hips found a sweet spot against each other. Louis moved his body enticingly slow and Harry wrapped his legs around Louis' back, forcing their bodies to come closer. Their breaths were ragged and they felt sweat beads forming on their foreheads from the flames dancing to their left. Harry opened his eyes and looked over Louis' shoulder, hardly registering the patterns on the ceiling. It felt as if he was in a different dimension with their bodies so closely intertwined. His cock was pressed hard against his pants and he was aching for some relief. He panted as he reached his hand down to unbutton his trousers and Louis' hand caught his wrist midway. It seemed like time stood still as they stared at each other and Louis carefully pinned Harry's hand above his head.

Louis adjusted his position, still looming over Harry, and trailed a finger along the seam of Harry's shirt. He clasped it between two of his fingers and glanced up at Harry through his eyelashes. Harry gave him a nod to continue and Louis slowly lifted Harry's shirt up his torso and above his arms. He discarded the shirt to the side and let his fingers trail down Harry's body lightly. He squirmed underneath Louis and bit his lip, just wishing to get it over with. The pressure in Harry's trousers was too great to handle and he was about to flip Louis on his back and take him right then if he didn't hurry up.

No words were needed for Louis to know exactly what was running through Harry's mind. He slowly dipped down and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, attaching to his mouth and sucked. Harry rested his hand on the back of Louis' head, taking in a deep breath. Soon, their bodies met again and the pace quickened, Harry pushing Louis hips to grind against each other the hardest they could. Louis let off Harry's neck and looked at the mark before trailing down his chest, gently biting at the skin.

Harry let out a small grunt as Louis' mouth attached to one of his nipples, swirling his tongue around it. Louis palmed the top of Harry's pants and fumbled to find the top button before ripping it open, peeling his trousers down past his erection, leaving his briefs the only things between them. Louis was heaving as he stared at it and he looked to Harry whose eyes were glossy and full of apprehension, chest rising up and down rapidly. Louis almost looked sick, and after Harry managed to swallow the lump in his throat before asking, "What's wrong?"

Louis immediately backed away, scrambling out of the living room into the kitchen. Harry quickly sat up and watched incredulously as he pulled out a teapot and filled it with water.

"Louis?" He asked. He was completely ignoring him, hurrying around the kitchen to get the tealeaves from the cabinet. Harry was half-naked on the floor and Louis was making tea?

Since Louis seemed to be more interested in dragging a chair across the kitchen floor because he was too short to reach, Harry stormed to the nearest bathroom, locked the door, and took matters into his own hands. So many emotions in such a short amount of time were pulsing through his veins he felt like he was going to explode. He was pissed at Louis for walking away again, and he was also horny as fuck so he had to do something about it. He pumped himself harder and faster before throwing his head back as he came intensely in his briefs. Well, it looked like he'd need a shower tonight after that.

He wiped himself off and washed his hands, not quite sure how to ask Louis what his problem was. Was he scared? Did he get bored? Was he second-guessing his relationship with Harry? That was the worst thing Harry could possibly think could happen. They weren't drunk this time so they would both definitely remember. Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was angry - a bit more than necessary, he would admit - but he was also sexually frustrated and just frustrated in general. Why didn't Louis trust him? He thought they had gotten past that already.

Harry opened the door and walked out, picking his shirt back up from the floor and putting it on. Louis was waiting for the kettle and Harry slowly made his way to the kitchen. He sat at the table and the two stayed in a long, suffocating silence until the kettle whistled. Louis took it off and put the strainer full of tealeaves in it and let it sit. Harry twiddled his fingers while Louis stared blankly at the floor, his elbows propped behind him on the counter. His eyebrows were knitted together in deep thought.

Once the tea was done, Louis poured it in two cups and slid one to Harry. He pulled it closer to him and took a sip, too distracted to savor it. Louis sat at the opposite end of the table and Harry swirled the tea in his cup absentmindedly. It was still too hot to drink so all he could do was watch the steam rise into the air.

They finished their tea without saying a single word to each other and Louis took the cups to the sink. Harry was itching to question him but had no idea where to even start. He felt like they were going in circles, every time they took one step forward they took five steps back. They were almost acting like complete strangers even when they headed up to bed and were standing next to each other brushing their teeth. Harry purposely took a long shower just so he could gather his thoughts and maybe have a gist of what he wanted to ask. Harry walked in Louis' room and saw he was curled up under his covers. He cautiously slid in next to him and rested his head on the pillow, not looking away.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harry asked, since he didn't know where else to start. He was just as confused as his boner that had been getting attention from something completely new and foreign then suddenly had a reunion with his friend Mr. Hand. Which, by the way, was still begging for stimulation but Harry was still too angry to pay attention to it unless Louis did.

Louis slowly turned to face Harry, timidly meeting his gaze. "No."

Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wanted to scream and be angry but knew that wouldn't do any good. There was something else Louis wasn't telling him and judging by what happened tonight it was confirmed. So much for Louis having the best birthday of his life.

"Okay." Harry said softly. "Will you ever want to talk about it?"

Louis gave a noncommittal shrug. "Maybe."

Harry nodded and turned so his back was facing towards Louis. He didn't care that he had been instructed to sleep on the floor; he hated sleeping by himself on the cold hard ground and wanted the proximity, comfort, and warmth from Louis. It didn't matter to him that Louis was acting weird because Harry knew he would be over it by morning. He always was.

The stillness of the room was almost eerie. Harry could hear Louis' soft breaths but he couldn't feel the touch of his skin or the energy from his aura. There was a feint glow from the moon outside reflecting off of the snow along with the orange tinted sky. Harry flipped on his back so he could watch the snow gently fall onto the rooftops. He wasn't tired at all and knew Louis wasn't asleep by the way he kept moving around. Harry figured he could at least try to ease the tension.

"I was ready, you know." He said.

Louis stopped moving. There was a long pause before he spoke.

"I know, babe."

Harry turned his head. Louis was still facing the wall but he'd seemed to ease up a bit. His shoulders were more relaxed and his breathing wasn't as shallow. Harry smiled, gradually inching closer to Louis. He draped his arm over his waist and Louis accepted him warmly, immediately pulling him closer. Harry chuckled.

"Does this mean you like me again?"

Louis turned his head the slightest bit. "I always like you."

Harry grinned fondly and pressed a kiss to the back of Louis' hair.

XxX


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading! Leave a comment if you like it :)

XxX

"Louis, Harry, wake up! Wake up! It's Christmas!" Voices rang outside their door as footsteps trampled down the hall. The door burst open and Phoebe and Daisy jumped on top of them, repeatedly bouncing up and down. Both Louis and Harry woke up groaning and Dan poked his head in the doorway, scowling when he saw their proximity.

"Louis."

"Sorry," He said sheepishly, immediately sitting up. He tickled Phoebe's sides and she squealed and jumped off the bed, pulling Daisy with her out the door and downstairs. Dan gave him one last stern look before trailing after the twins.

"Let's open presents!" They heard Daisy exclaim, her voice disappearing down the stairs. Louis laughed and looked at Harry.

"Harryyyyyyy wake upppp."

He groaned and cracked one eye open at the clock on Louis' nightstand. "It's six-thirty AM." He said, his voice groggy and laced with sleep. Louis smiled fondly and rolled on top of him, folding his arms on Harry's chest and resting his chin on top.

"I know." He kissed Harry's nose gently. "Merry Christmas."

Harry's eyes were still closed but he smiled, leaning forward to capture Louis' lips with his own. They stayed there like that for a moment until Lottie walked past his room, saying in a monotone voice, "get a room" before walking downstairs. Louis lifted his head to shoot a glare at her and huffed, making Harry chuckle.

"She's just jealous." Louis said and Harry nodded in agreement, his eyes drifting across Louis' features. His eyes were so bright this morning, completely contrast to how they were last night. He seemed to be in a better mood, which Harry was glad.

Louis pressed a swift kiss to him. "Now come on, I'm not opening presents alone!" He rolled over Harry and landed on the floor. He stood up and stripped to his boxers, giving Harry a full view of his rear, and went to his closet to pull clothes out. Harry sat up and licked his lips.

"I think I've already gotten my Christmas present." He said. Louis sent him a cheeky look and slipped on dark green skinny jeans. Harry snuck behind him, throwing his arms around his torso right as he was about to put on a white v-neck and threw him back onto the bed. Louis squealed as Harry tickled him, attempting to fight his hands but ultimately failing. His laughter was like music to Harry's ears. Harry dipped down and kissed him hard and Louis wrapped his arms around his neck.

A few minutes passed until Johannah started calling their names from the kitchen. They pulled apart, lips swollen and faces flushed and got dressed, brushing their teeth together and bumping hips. Louis won, of course, but only because Harry let him. He lingered in the bathroom while Harry went to get dressed, and as he was putting on a shirt he heard multiple cupboards open and slam shut. It was disconcerting, so he went back and knocked lightly.

"Louis, are you okay?" He asked. When he pushed the door open Louis looked alarmed, squatting down rummaging through the drawers. He looked up at Harry and nodded.

"Yeah, of course, everything's fine, love, I'll be down in a minute." He said quickly, turning his attention back to the drawers. Harry scrunched his eyebrows but did as he said, walking downstairs and immediately being attacked by the twins. He patted them on the head and they clung to him as he walked in the kitchen.

"Good morning Harry!" Johannah greeted. He waved and Phoebe and Daisy dragged him to the table, sitting him in-between their chairs. Lottie and Fizzy were sitting across from him and a plate of food was set in front of them.

"Thank you." He said. Johannah smiled.

"No problem. Where's Louis?"

"Upstairs, I think he was looking for something."

Johannah was about to say something but Louis came hopping down the stairs, immediately pulling his mother to the side. He whispered in her ear and she nodded. Harry was trying not to pry and act like he was more interested in the strawberries Daisy kept setting on his pancake, but the expression on both of their faces was concerning. Johannah said something back to Louis before kissing his forehead. He walked to the table and pursed his lips at the sight of all seats by Harry occupied.

"Now you two," Phoebe and Daisy looked up guiltily, "do I get to sit next to Harry?"

They both looked at each other, communicating with their eyes then looked back at him. "Nope!" They said in unison. They both giggled and Louis folded his arms. Johannah intervened before he could say something else.

"Girls, please let him. You'll get to spend time with Harry later."

They whined but moved regardless. Louis took the seat Phoebe had been in previously and set his hand on Harry's thigh, giving it a small squeeze. Harry set his hand on top of Louis' and smiled.

"Everything alright?"

"Of course." Louis smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "No biggie."

He was hiding something and Harry knew it. A plate of pancakes was set in front of Louis and his attention was diverted. For now, Harry would let the subject drop and ask questions later, he wanted to enjoy himself while he was here.

After they were all done eating, they all sat in a circle by the Christmas tree and Johannah passed out presents. Louis was elated to see the expression of shock on Harry's face when he received two boxes - one from him and the other from Dan and Johannah. Harry looked at them quizzically, wondering what they could possibly be. Phoebe and Daisy opened their presents first and squealed when they each got a doll. They immediately began comparing one another's, arguing over who's had the cutest hairstyle. Fizzy and Lottie opened their presents next then it was Louis' turn. He received a new pair of slip-on black and white checkered vans and thanked his mum and Dan.

Harry hesitated opening his present from Louis. Once it was unwrapped, he opened the shoebox and his eyes widened. It was a new, untouched pair of white vans. He looked at Louis, shocked.

"You-"

"To replace the ones from that night." He said quickly, averting his look to the floor.

Harry felt his heart melt and he hugged Louis from the side, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He flushed and patted Harry's head awkwardly.

"Thank you, Lou." He squeezed his shoulders and set the shoebox off to the side. Louis smiled and they went around the circle again. When it came back to Harry he picked up the small present from Dan and Johannah, opening it carefully and gasping. It was a silver necklace of the Eiffel Tower with the names Louis and Harry engraved in fancy font up the sides. He looked up at Johannah and Dan in disbelief.

"This...is beautiful."

"Louis called us and told us what to get." Johannah smiled. "He was very specific."

Louis pulled his legs close to his body and looked at the floor sheepishly. Harry looked to him, his expression still shocked. He set the necklace down in front of him and pulled in Louis in a tight hug, making him yelp. Harry squeezed him and buried his head in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you so much. I love it."

Louis gave him a fond smile, brushing back his hair. "You're welcome.

Later, they were lounging around the living room, Phoebe and Daisy playing with their dolls and drawing and Doris and Ernest were bouncing in their high chairs up in the kitchen. Moulin Rouge was playing on the telly while Harry was resting his head on Louis' lap asleep, Lottie was playing games on her phone, and Fizzy was watching the movie with her eyebrows scrunched together, puzzled.

"I don't get this movie."

"Shh," Louis said, brushing his fingers through Harry's curls. "Just watch. It's award winning."

Fizzy gave him a weird look then looked back to the movie where Satine and Christian had just been spotted by Harold up on the balcony kissing passionately. She sighed and stood up, going to the kitchen to find another source of entertainment. Louis kept his full attention on the movie - he honestly could watch it twenty-three times in a row and never get sick of it. His inner peace was disturbed when his phone rang in his pocket. His siblings glanced at him momentarily but he gave them a dismissing wave before pulling his phone out and answering it quietly with a scowl on his face. 

"Hello?"

"Hey Lou!"

"Stan!" Louis exclaimed, his fingers halting in Harry's hair. He hadn't checked the ID so was pleasantly surprised; it'd been ages since he'd seen his friend. "What's up?"

"I heard you're in town, the gang is getting together and they wanted to know if you'd come play a game of footie with us."

"Of course I do!" Louis was always up for a game of footie, especially with his friends. The last time he'd played was during his X Factor days where he had more free time. Lately, he just hadn't had time to even think about sports, which saddened him, but he was doing different things now that required more work and attention. Plus he figured it would improve his mood, so far the movie had masked that he wasn't feeling too chipper but it wouldn't last much longer. "Where at?"

"Just the school field. We're meeting at two."

"Yeah, I'll definitely come." Louis paused, suddenly remembering Harry and looked down at him. He was still asleep, completely content and tranquil in his lap. "Uh, do you mind if I bring someone with me?"

Stan paused on the other end, probably questioning whom Louis could possibly want to bring to a footie game. No one was ever that special. "Who?"

"My boyfriend." Louis said tentatively. Why was he nervous to tell Stan about Harry? Stan was his best friend and knew everything about him so he shouldn't be phased that Louis has a boyfriend, they'd been friends since they time they went to primary school and knew everything about each other. That was probably the reason why Louis was so nervous - Stan knew things that Harry didn't and he was afraid Stan might say something to Harry that would raise multiple questions or make him doubt Louis. It wasn't like Louis was keeping secrets from Harry; he just hadn't bothered to tell him certain things because he didn't find them relevant.

"...Oh." Stan sounded dumbfounded. "Well yeah, he's invited too."

"I'll see you there." Louis said and quickly hung up. He let out an annoyed sigh. Stan probably had tons of questions he was going to ask when they got there. For one, Louis knew Stan knew about Eleanor, and the fact that Louis had never actually brought her home to meet him was rather suspicious to Stan, especially since they always introduced their girlfriends to each other. Louis hadn't seen or spoken to Eleanor for a long time and it was probably becoming very apparent not just in his home life but in the media as well. That was one repercussion Louis would have to deal with once he was off break.

Louis didn't want to think about his work so instead he put a small amount of pressure on Harry's cheek, caressing it with his thumb. He began to stir and Louis couldn't help but smile at the beautiful boy that was his. "Hey, Hazza."

Harry blinked slowly and he gave Louis a goofy smile. "Hi."

"How was your nap?" Louis couldn't keep a smile off his face. Harry was just too adorable. He sat up and stretched, leaning into Louis' shoulder after.

"Short, but I feel better. I didn't know I was that tired.

"My family will do that to you." Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders, squeezing him tightly and pressing his lips into his hair. He could stay here forever, but his mind was racing relentlessly so he couldn't enjoy it. He swallowed and hesitantly spoke. "So...my friend Stan invited me to come play football with him and all our friends."

Harry looked at him and blinked. "Okay."

Louis let go of him. "He said you can come too, I want to introduce you to all my friends."

"Well okay," Harry said, "when?"

"In half an hour." Louis berated himself for acting so nervous. He shouldn't be worrying about if Stan will like Harry or not and it was getting on his nerves that he was. "Are you okay with that?"

"Of course I am." Harry's eyebrows furrowed, but his tone was light. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Louis shrugged, not really having an answer. "In case you don't like sports."

Harry laughed. "I'm no expert but I can hold my own."

Louis smiled and kissed Harry. "Good. 'Cause we're leaving now." They both jumped up from the couch and grabbed their coats, having a war consisting of unzipping each others coats once they zipped them up, and put their shoes on.

"No fair, I want to come." Lottie said frowning. Louis stuck his tongue out at her mockingly.

"Get a boyfriend and turn twenty. Mum will let you go everywhere!"

"That's a lie," Johannah said from the kitchen. "I'm only letting you go because Harry is here."

Louis grinned and gave her a hug before putting a beanie on his head and walking out to the car. He opened the door for Harry and before he stepped in Louis captured his lips and they stood there in the cold wind leaning against the car, Louis on his tiptoes and Harry with his hands pressed to Louis' cheeks. He pulled away and said nothing as he rounded to the other side and started the car.

As they drove Harry stared out the window in awe looking at all the Christmas displays and lights draping from the rooftops. There were Christmas trees visible in windows and steam rising up from chimneys along with children playing outside in the yard, building snowmen and throwing snowballs at each other. He smiled, feeling nostalgic of his own childhood before his dad left. They would always go sledding and make snow angels all day and go inside once they were freezing and his mum would make them hot chocolate and they would sit around the tree and sing songs and read books by the fire. Harry felt a pang in his heart and pushed the memory away. It was still too painful to think about.

The school was about ten minutes away. It was a decent sized school but it definitely wasn't as large as Harry's. Harry looked around and smiled when Louis parked rounded the car to open his door. He smiled at his chivalry and grasped his hand as he got out.

"Ah, I missed this place. I got in so much trouble here." Louis said grinning, standing on the curb. When he turned around he noticed he was a bit taller than Harry and he smirked. "I'm taller than you."

"For now." Harry said, and stepped up on the curb. Louis jutted out his bottom lip in a pout as he looked up at Harry.

"No fair." He muttered, grabbing Harry's hand, their shoes squishing in the soggy grass from the melting snow, and Louis pulled him to the sidewalk. Louis pointed to areas of his school that held fond - or not so fond - memories as they headed to the field. He briefly told Harry a story of how his tenth year him and Stan had snuck in to the field at three in the morning. All they wanted to do was play some footie because neither of them could sleep, but a neighbor had seen them sneak in and called the police. They managed to get away by hiding in a dumpster for two hours but after that they definitely didn't do anything like that for a long time.

He told another story of how for his graduation prank him, Stan, and a tons of other boys from their drama class glued all the teacher's desks shut hours before school even started. They figured since there was only three weeks left before they graduated they could get away with it, but unfortunately, the jocks ratted them out and they were all suspended. Since then, the drama club and sports teams have been mortal enemies and even to this day.

Harry smiled at the retelling of Louis' story and let out a breath of frosty air. The air smelled crisp and the sun was peeking through the thick, gray clouds. There was a lingering chill outside and Harry knew it would only get colder as the night changed.

"Stan!" Louis called out as they approached the field. There was a group of people and a boy with brown turned around and waved, running over to them.

"Aye Louis! Glad you could make it!" Louis let go of Harry's hand to embrace Stan. He then moved to greet all of his friends - there were at least ten people there - holding a brief conversation with each person before moving to the other. Meanwhile, Harry was left off to the side, watching quietly and feeling out of place while Stan examined him up and down.

"You're his boyfriend?" Stan asked.

"Y-" Harry began to say, but his voice cracked so he cleared his throat, "Yes. I am." He flinched when Stan thrust out his hand.

"Stan."

"Harry." He said more confidently, shaking it firmly.

"So Louis said." Stan nodded. Harry tried to mask his foul expression but wasn't sure if he succeeded.

"Everyone!" Louis chimed, jogging back to Harry and wrapping his arms around Harry's elbow. "This is my boyfriend, Harry Styles." He smiled up at Harry and everyone greeted him warmly. Maybe Louis' friends would accept him; he wasn't sure about Stan but if the others liked him then he would be fine. 

Soon they lined up in a single-file. Louis and Stan were chosen as team captains and they stood in front, scanning through their options for players. Louis picked first and then Stan, going back and forth. Harry was second to last when Louis chose him. He wasn't offended - obviously Louis wanted a good team and he had never seen Harry play sports before. The last girl went on Stan's team and they split on the field and Harry was placed left-rear defense. Since there was a lack of bodies to play, there were two forwards, two defenders, and one goalie on each team. Louis and Stan both played forward and were pitted directly against each other.

"I haven't played in ages so don't go too hard on me." Louis taunted. Stan let out a scoff.

"As if! Just 'cause you've been focusing on singing doesn't mean we'll go easy on you." Stan smirked. "We play to eight points. Loser team has to do what the winners say."

Louis grinned slyly and they bumped fists. "You're on."

They moved to the middle and him and Louis stared each other down. Louis faked a right kick, throwing Stan off then kicking the ball to the left. The girl playing left forward took the ball and dashed forward with great speed and Louis kept up with her despite the wet and muddy field. Harry was shivering in his coat yet was highly impressed with his agility. He pursed his lips, feeling his dick twitch in his pants. Of course of all the times he could get turned on it would be now.

The left forward - who Harry recalled her name being Tori - passed the ball back to Louis. He kicked it behind him and twirled around, throwing off the boy in the left defense. Louis kicked it into the goal but the goalie picked it up and drop kicked it to the other side of the line. Louis and Tori ran back to their side of the field and Harry felt his stomach drop as the ball headed straight in his direction. He suddenly felt all eyes on him and took a deep breath before stopping the ball with his kneecap. It left a wet spot on his trousers, which made him scowl, but he dodged the opposing left forward as he came charging towards Harry. He saw Tori running towards him and the other boy playing defense shouting at him. He passed the ball to him and was shoved backwards by the opposing team's forward. He tripped on his ankles but caught himself before he landed on his butt, thanking every deity in existence that he didn't make a fool of himself this early in the game. Louis grinned largely and gave him a thumb up before turning his attention back to the game. Harry couldn't contain a smile that blossomed across his face.

The right defense on his team, which Harry knew his name was Mason, took the ball and was trampled by Stan. Louis held his elbow out to hold Stan back while Mason went to pass the ball back to Tori. The right offense stole the ball before it reached her and dashed towards the goalie. Harry suddenly panicked as the ball rolled near him at a rapid pace. He intercepted the ball but right as he outstretched his foot the forward kicked the ball straight into the goal. Their team exclaimed a loud victory and ran back to their side of the field. Harry grunted in agitation as their goalie kicked the ball back to Louis. He rolled it to the center of the field - his face stoic. He was just getting warmed up.

"Not too shabby, Styles!" Stan called out. Harry felt his face flush as everyone turned to look at him. He gave them a shy wave and Louis smiled at the ground.

The game continued and Harry noticed from the corner of his eye two girls had shown up and were sitting on the bleachers, giggling as they watched the game then looked down at their phones. Harry ignored them and found the longer game went on, the better he felt himself getting. He charged more fiercely to the ball and alternated between passing it to Louis and Tori. His heart was pounding and his adrenaline was pumping through his body. The cold nipped at his nose and rosy cheeks but he was sweating so badly he didn't even notice.

Of course, Harry wasn't an athlete, but he was decent at football - albeit being a bit clumsy - and even Louis seemed impressed. When they were halfway through the game and changing sides, Louis praised him highly and it made Harry beam. Harry was even impressed with Louis; he recalled Louis had mentioning he played football but Harry didn't know he was that good. He almost seemed professional.

In the end, their team won by one point. Stan grabbed Louis in a neck hold and messed up his hair, shouting at him playfully. Harry laughed and looked down at his clothes. His shoes were muddy and felt water soaking through to his socks. His pants were splattered with water and mud but he didn't mind. He had fun and made friends so it didn't matter.

"Hey nice job," Mason said as he approached Harry, holding out his fist. Harry smiled and bumped it lightly.

"Thanks, I'm not much of a sports person."

"You did well for a beginner. You didn't trip over your feet too much." The goalie said, smiling. "My name is Leia, by the way."

"Leia," Harry said, "nice to meet you."

She giggled. "You got quite a catch over there." She nodded to Louis. He was still in Stan's vice-grip. "How did you two meet?"

"Funny story." Harry said. He swore he'd never get tired of telling the story. "I work at a bakery and one day he came in after a radio interview he'd done in my town. We talked and he didn't come back for another month."

"A month?" Leia asked incredulously. "Jeez, you must be something special 'cause Boo has the mental capacity of a teaspoon."

Harry pursed his lips trying to keep back his grin from the compliment. "Boo?" He questioned, wanting to avert the attention from him.

Leia giggled. "In year ten our spring play was To Kill A Mockingbird, he played Arthur Radley and I played Scout. We rehearsed so much that I just got used to calling him that so it sort of stuck." She said. Mason rolled his eyes and Harry grinned. He was definitely going to use that against him later.

"Doesn't Louis have a girlfriend though? What was her name, Eleanor?" Mason questioned. He sent a quizzical look to Harry and he felt the blood drain out of his face.

"Mason," Leia snapped, "it's none of your business."

Harry sent a grateful look to Leia and if she caught it she had no reaction. The three of them walked over to Stan and Louis tackled Harry in a hug around his neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"You did great, Hazza!" He exclaimed. His cheeks were flushed, his chest was heaving, and there was pure euphoria and thrill dripping from every sparkle in his eyes. A large smile made it's way on Harry's face, it wasn't often he saw Louis so exultant.

"I tried." He said.

"Not hard enough!" Stan grumbled. Louis kicked him in the shin.

"You're the one that lost, shut up!"

"I demand a rematch!" Stan shouted. Louis glared at him and let go of Harry to take a step forward.

"I'm sitting out this one," Harry said quickly. Louis broke out of his fury and turned to him, expression almost insulted.

"Why?"

"I'm tired. You go have fun." He said, feeling slightly off-put by his sudden mood swing. Louis glared and opened his mouth to speak but Stan cut him off.

"If we win you buy me ice cream!"

"As if!" Louis snapped. Harry slowly backed away from their bicker and jogged to the bleachers and sat down, unzipping his coat. Even though it was cold he was sweating badly. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually done that much running in such a short amount of time.

Harry heard giggling to the left of him and looked back, seeing the two girls whispering to each other and occasionally glancing back at him. He refrained from rolling his eyes and took out his phone. He had forgotten to take it out of his coat pocket and luckily it wasn't damaged or cracked, his mum would've killed him if he broke it already after only one day. When he turned it on, he saw he had a text from Niall and his mum. He quickly replied to his mum, saying he was playing football at Louis' old high school and read Niall's text but ignored it. He sat back and rested his elbows on the bleacher behind him. It was weird to think that Louis had already graduated when Harry was still in his last year. He would be graduating in June and was turning eighteen in two months. The thought made him scowl.

"Hey, you." One of the girls said. Harry turned and looked over his shoulder. The blonde that had spoken smiled. "Come over here."

Harry paused before hesitantly standing up and walking over with his hands in his pockets. He stood with one bleacher separating him and the two girls.

"So you're Harry?" The blonde asked. He nodded. "I'm Hannah."

"Nice to meet you," Harry replied, nodding.

"I'm Louis' ex."

Harry immediately paused, confusion running through his mind like a bullet train. His fingers fumbled in his coat pocket as he stared at her blankly.

"Oh." He said. He forced an awkward smile but it quickly disappeared.

Hannah interlaced her fingers as her friend giggled into her sleeve. "I'm only telling you that because I know him really well. He's not one for, shall we say...public display of affection."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

Hannah rolled her eyes playfully. "Meaning he likes you a lot if he'd do something like that. The two years we were together he never kissed me in front of people."

Something swarmed inside of Harry's stomach. It felt like satisfaction mixed in with a bit of jealousy. It made him swell with pride to know that Louis showed more affection to him in public than he had towards Hannah. He could only relish in the thought for a moment when he realized she was his ex before he was famous. Other than Stan, she probably knew him better than anyone.

"Why don't you sit?" Hannah questioned, patting the spot next to her. He stepped over the bleacher and sat down slowly.

"You're pretty good for not playing sports." Her friend said, smiling warmly. "I'm Jenny."

"Nice to meet you, Jenny." He smiled. "You two come here often?"

"If that's a pickup line then yes." Hannah said playfully. "But no, we were invited to come play with everyone. We aren't huge into sports so we thought we'd at least come and watch."

Their attention was all turned to the field when they heard Louis let out a loud man squeal. He was being high-tailed by Stan as he ran down the field with the ball in front of his feet. The three looked at each other then snorted in laughter. Louis let out a loud cheer as he scored and tackled Stan to the ground, getting their clothes muddy and wet. Harry grinned fondly - he loved seeing Louis in his element. He was so relaxed yet intense and focused at the same time, it was such a turn on to see and Harry wasn't ashamed admitting that to himself. His boyfriend was hot and he knew it. Hannah watched him carefully.

"When did you two meet?" She asked.

Harry blinked out of his stupor. He had been so focused on Louis that it took him a few seconds to register what she had asked. "Oh, we met in the bakery I work at. It was back in September."

"So not too long then." Hannah pursed her lips. "Well, for being such a short time he really is head over heels for you."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Come on Harry, it's obvious." She sighed. "He just can't get enough of you."

Harry looked to the ground, musing over what she said. He could admit that Louis was very affectionate towards him in public and around their families but he had nothing else to compare it with. He had only seen Louis around Eleanor, which even then he was acting. He didn't want to use Hannah just to get information on Louis, but since he was here, he supposed he could get away with a few questions...

"What was he like when he was with you?"

Hannah let out a sharp breath. "Basically the way he is now, but it was all in private. He was always super loud - which he still is - but with you he's a lot more open about it. I always suspected he swung both ways..." She scowled, "but now that's been confirmed."

Harry scowled but he had a smile on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Well you're his boyfriend."

Harry felt like she was just begging to say something else but was holding back. The way the end of her sentence lingered was a definite sign. "And?"

"He cheated on me."

Harry suddenly wasn't smiling anymore. What? "Oh, um...I'm sorry?" He didn't know what else to say. Louis cheated on her? Since when? Why?

She shrugged. "It's whatever. It's when he was at X Factor. I heard that he slept with a guy that's all. It's fine though, he said our relationship was getting old anyway."

It definitely didn't seem fine the way she had addressed it. Harry felt awkward and slightly angry. Of course Louis would never tell him something like that, it wasn't very inviting to know his current boyfriend had a history of cheating. And now the pattern was repeating with Eleanor...but that was a fake relationship, so it didn't count, right? He tapped his fingers on his legs, ultimately bewildered. Hannah was definitely the most blunt girl he had ever met, he's almost sorry he asked. "I'm...sorry to hear that."

"It's okay! We talked through it and he apologized. We're good friends now." She smiled, seeming to have no remorse about planting a seed of doubt in Harry's mind. Even though her mood had already switched it didn't mean Harry's had as well. Harry was honestly conflicted; there was still so much he didn't know about Louis and it was starting to get old. It seriously felt like they kept moving one step forward then they would run into a wall and either have to avoid it or go around it. Harry had a burning curiosity and needed to extinguish it before it drove him mad.

"Do you know who the guy was?"

She shrugged. "Some guy named Nick."

Harry raised his eyebrows. He didn't know of any guy named "Nick" nor had Louis ever mentioned anything about him. Was that because Louis purposely avoided the conversation about his experience at the X Factor or because it just had never come up in conversation? That wasn't the last of his questions, he fully intended to get as much out of Hannah as he could. He wasn't going to skirt around the edges anymore, he was done with this 'keeping secrets' bullshit.

"What about Eleanor?"

Hannah scoffed as if it was the punch line of a joke. "They got together a few months after Louis got signed. I knew the second they became official that she was only there to make the cheating rumors die down and I hadn't talked to Louis for over a year."

Harry felt insignificant. Louis had all these relationship experiences - he'd even slept with a guy! - and here he was having Louis as his first with everything. Harry had definitely had crushes before but he had never gotten serious with anyone. This was all a big shock to him and frankly he wasn't sure whether to feel jealous or let it go completely; it was the past after all and before he met Harry. Hannah seemed to notice his internal conflict and nudged his arm lightly.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Louis has turned out to be an alright guy and he really loves you." She smiled. "It's as plain as day. He never spent Christmas with me when we were together."

Harry felt all his emotions clashing into one another. He felt prideful and it was heartwarming that Louis cared for him so much and showed him affection in public but at the same time he was angry and bitter to discover that Louis had cheated on Hannah with some guy named Nick. He'd slept with him! Harry still couldn't wrap his head around that fact - he wasn't sure if he should ask Louis about it or not. He didn't want Louis getting mad at Hannah for his own simple curiosity because it wasn't her fault. Louis had a dark past that he hadn't even bothered to delve into fully and Harry wanted to feel offended but knew that would be unfair.

He sighed. He really needed to talk to Louis.

XxX


	23. Chapter 23

XxX

Louis' team had ended up winning the second round and Stan, him, Louis, Mason, and Leia to a restaurant. The others had said they needed to be home for Christmas or they were too tired to stay out. Before they left, Hannah had slipped her number in Harry's pocket, saying "text me anytime" with a wink. Harry couldn't help but feel that Hannah was still bitter from what happened and was trying to get under Harry's skin and break him and Louis up. It wasn't going to happen.

Harry looked around in awe as they walked in the restaurant. It was very casual; almost having a diner feel to it. Louis and him were hand and hand - he was strangely stiff but Harry just assumed it was from the cold - and a waiter led them to a table for five people. Harry sat in between Louis and Leia in the booth while Mason and Stan sat on the other side, Mason complaining about the chairs but quickly shutting him up when Louis sent him a glare.

"Alright, just drinks, guys. I'm not that rich." Stan's tone held warning. They all laughed.

"What happened to ice cream?" Louis asked, setting his menu in the middle of the table.

"I was kidding. It's way too cold outside for that." Stan shot back playfully, doing the same with his menu. They talked casually for a while, Louis bringing up that him and Harry were writing some songs together, and Harry had completely forgotten. Apparently Louis was on top of it because he already brought it up with his manager, gotten his permission, and had booked a recording session for them in London. He simply blinked as Louis rattled on about the plans he had absolutely no idea about until now. Well, at least he would be spending the whole break with Louis, so he couldn't be too mad about the unannounced change of schedule.

Soon, the waiter came back and their conversation halted as they ordered. Most everyone ordered tea, but when it came to Louis, he hesitated.

"I'll have coffee."

They all looked at him strangely but Louis kept his eyes on the waiter. She wrote it down, took the menus, and then walked away. Louis looked at his lap, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. Harry leaned next to his ear.

"I thought you hated coffee." He whispered, deciding to break the unspoken ice that had frozen over the atmosphere. He figured it would be better not to draw attention to it since Louis seemed to be irked already. Louis sent him side daggers but kept his body forward.

"I do." He answered in a hushed tone.

Harry scowled. "Then why did you-"

"So Mason!" Louis outburst as if he'd already drank five cups of black coffee, "I've noticed you got better at footie. Have you been practicing?"

Harry flat out scowled and Mason was completely taken aback. He blinked, casting a glance to Harry before looking back at Louis. "O-Oh yeah, Stan has been teaching me."

Louis smiled at Stan. "Good lad. I remember when I taught you!"

"That's when we were younger." Stan muttered. "And you're still better than me."

Louis shrugged indifferently though the expression on his face said the opposite. Harry knew that face all too well; his ego was bathing in the attention. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Louis was honestly one of the most unpredictable people he'd ever met and it was starting to get on his nerves. Harry looked forward and took a deep breath, thinking of it rationally. He was probably just cold, hungry, tired, horny, and maybe a little emotionally wrought out from the past few months. That's no big deal, he was here with Louis and he needed to enjoy it before they were separated again.

"Why haven't you gone pro, Boo?" Leia asked.

"I was actually going to after I graduated but I kind of got a record label." Louis said, though the smugness in his tone was apparent. He pursed his lips. "Thanks to Hannah, at least."

"And me!" Stan interjected. "I was the one who convinced you to audition then Hannah had to drag your ass to the audition."

Louis laughed and said something but Harry was no longer paying attention. He didn't know what to make of the conversation, really. What he was getting from it was Stan and Hannah got Louis to audition - as Stan just stated - then during the X Factor Louis met Nick and cheated on Hannah. They broke up and Louis was signed on a label then he met Eleanor and they've been together since, which has been about a year and a half, and then Louis met Harry. The puzzle was finally starting to come together but there was still so much in between that was missing. He still had so many questions and he felt like he was going insane trying to make sense of all of it.

There was one question standing prominent in the front of his mind. How did Hannah find out Louis cheated on her?

Their drinks were all brought out and they thanked the waiter. Harry might have taken a sip of his tea and burned his tongue but the scalding sensation was nothing compared to the burning pit of anger in his stomach. Louis cheated and history has a habit of repeating itself. And now that habit was Eleanor and Harry, except it wasn't a secret. At least not to Harry. He was blatantly being a home-wrecker and was getting away with it.

He felt like he could cry.

"Harry? Are you okay?" Louis asked, and only then did Harry's heartbeat speed up. There was no smug egocentric tone in his voice, just the raw, loving voice of Louis who was concerned. He had to stop thinking about the past, Hannah was doing this intentionally, trying to break them up because if she couldn't be happy with Louis then no one could be happy with Louis. That bitch.

He suddenly felt much better. Knowing that Hannah was a deceiving hoe that deserved to be cheated on made him feel like he could fly over rainbows. Hannah didn't deserve Louis - hell, Eleanor didn't even deserve him - so fuck yeah he was a home-wrecker. And he liked it.

"Better than ever." He replied, grinning impishly. He leaned and pressed a kiss to the corner of Louis' mouth and he seemed taken aback by it before resting his hand on his cheek, smiling at the previous contact of Harry's lips.

Sure, Harry still had a shit ton of questions, such as why Louis never showed affection for Hannah in public or why he'd never mentioned any of this to Harry or why Louis only said Eleanor was a cover up for his sexuality - that was a real dozy excuse - but for now he was going to enjoy this moment with Louis until his mind swallowed him alive. Or they had to go back home; he was hoping for the latter.

"Do you want some?" Louis asked. Harry glanced at the cup of brown sugar liquid and blinked.

"Of that?"

Louis nodded hopefully.

"No, I don't like coffee." Harry was tempted to add, "and you don't either", but refrained from doing so. He might be in a better mood internally but that didn't mean Louis was and the last thing he wanted to do was set him off on a rampage. The last time he'd seen Louis physically violent had been in Prague after the clubbing incident - he only broke a lamp, but still - and wanted to avoid that. Louis was scary when he was angry drunk, that's something Harry hoped he'd never have to experience again.

He still fully planned on interrogating Louis until he was satisfied, but not right now. Harry didn't exactly trust Stan and felt like it was mutual between them. Maybe there was something Stan knew about Louis that Harry didn't since everyone seemed to.

No, stop it. He chided himself. You're only going to make the situation worse.

He watched as Louis took a drink of the coffee and physically cringed. He was way too fidgety to be normal. There was another question Harry had, why was he drinking coffee when he hated it? He always preferred plain Yorkshire Tea maybe with two lumps of sugar if he was feeling adventurous. But coffee? It must be the weather.

Louis suddenly jumped, startling everyone else. He slapped a hand to his coat pocket and grinned sheepishly before nudging Leia from the booth.

"Excuse me I have to take this." He said quickly, fleeing out of the restaurant.

Definitely the weather.

The four looked at each other strangely and Leia sat back down, poking Louis' abandoned cup. It was hardly half empty.

"Doesn't he hate coffee?" Mason questioned.

"I thought he did," Stan said more as a question than a statement. If Stan was confused, then Harry should definitely be confused. Leia was still poking at the cup.

"Why would he be drinking it if he hates it?" She took a sip of her tea and they all shrugged. Harry looked to the entrance to see if he could catch a glimpse of Louis but he didn't see him.

He was in a bad mood again.

XxX

Louis stepped outside with his blaring phone and finally answered it, keeping his tone as even as possible. He was so tempted to throw it against the ground so he wouldn't have to deal with this shit. He was on break and this wasn't fair.

"Hello?"

"Louis, I've been texting you all day."

"I know, I know, Eleanor. But I'm busy." He said, pacing around the sidewalk. He was getting anxiety just talking to her; she was reality whereas Harry was a fantasy. He'd purposely avoided looking at his phone all day. But of course, he still had a job, so it was inevitable that he'd have to deal with it sooner or later. He just hoped he wasn't in too much trouble with his agent. He slid his foot on a small ice patch to distract himself from the unnecessary scolding he was about to get.

"Your agent has been trying to call you too. Why haven't you answered?"

"Because I'm on break." Louis said as if it were the most obvious thing. Since when did Eleanor turn into the messenger between him and his agent? As far as Louis knew, he was on break until the second week of January. Then he had to jump back into his touring schedule, which he was not looking forward too. Basically anything in the near future without Harry he wasn't looking forward too.

Eleanor was unnaturally silent and Louis wanted to snap at her but didn't. Obviously she was calling for a reason, whether it was to talk mush about how much she missed him or straight business - literally - but Louis didn't care. He was already more irked than he liked. The fact that he had been irritable all day only irritated him more. He was stuck in a shitty cycle of self-loathing.

"...Is this a bad time?"

And now Louis felt like a dick; one because Eleanor had no idea about Harry, and two because he'd been ignored her all break. It'd been weeks since they last talked so he can't blame her. But of course, it was her fault that him and Harry got into that fight over LA so he still was holding that grudge, so he actually wasn't sorry. Eleanor deserved what she got. He was about to tell her off right there about how she's ruining everything but stopped himself. He couldn't make any rash decisions while he was like this, he had to take a deep breath, revaluate why he was mad, know that there are some things he can't control, and just remember what his doctor told him.

"No, El, sorry, I'm just-" He pressed a hand to his head, stopping before he rambled. The air seemed to be settling around him and it sent a chill down his spine. "It's been a long day and I'm out with friends. What do you need?"

There was rustling on the other end before she replied. "You were invited to a New Years party in London, but since you weren't answering your phone they called me."

"New Years party?" Louis raised an eyebrow. Since when did he become famous enough to be invited to a celebrity party? This specific party was legendary; Louis remembered always hearing about it when he was little and only hoped one day he could go to it. Now he was actually invited? That lifted his mood if only a little, but knew there was more to the story. "As in, this week?"

"Yeah," Eleanor said, "you know, on New Years Eve."

Louis rolled his eyes. Eleanor was playing with him but he just found it annoying. "Yeah, yeah, so is there a list?"

"Yeah there is."

Louis pursed his lips, musing over the thought. Right now he was in the shittiest mood a human being could ever be in so the idea of socializing sounded repulsing to him. But, if he declined now, he would regret it later.

"Alright, well, I guess we're meeting up in London?"

He swore he heard Eleanor frown. "We won't fly down there together?"

She must be home by the way her surroundings are suspiciously quiet and referred to London as being south. Usually she was stationed in London but he guessed she was on break as well. "No, sorry love, I have stuff I need to finish up here first."

It was a lie and Louis knew it was. He just wanted more time with Harry, because if he was going to spend a whole night with Eleanor he'd have to over-indulge himself on as much of his boyfriend as he could before he left.

Wait. An idea popped into Louis' brilliant mind and a grin bloomed on his face. Just because Harry wasn't invited to the party didn't mean he couldn't come. Yeah, it was risky, but what was the worst that could happen? Mr. Walter yells at him, Eleanor breaks up with him, and Harry gets his name out there, so what was the problem again?

"Oh okay. I'll see you there then, I'll give you the times later."

"'Kay babe." He said, feeling haughty. "Wear something hot." He was in a great mood.

Eleanor giggled. "Okay, I love you."

He took that back.

"Love you." He said, doing his best not to cringe. He hung up and put his phone in his pocket, letting out a big sigh. Well fuck him sideways. He had no idea how he was going to get away with this one. He could call his agent and ask to bring Harry? No, he already knew his answer.

Well, it was better to ask forgiveness than permission, right?

Instead of calling his agent, he scrolled through his contacts, feeling a sense of familiarity wash over him. It'd been so long.

"Louis?"

"Aye, Phil!" He said cheerfully. "How's it going?"

"Good," He answered, and is probably felt strange from Louis calling him Christmas Day but Louis didn't pay attention to details, this was strict business and slightly recalcitrant on his part. He should start an anarchic protest. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes, actually. I'm glad you asked." Louis sat down on the cold bench meant for waiting, but in the winter it was more like if someone wanted to shiver to death. He felt his bum immediately freeze as he sat down and cringed. "So Eleanor called. She informed me that I've been put on a list for the New Years party coming up this week."

"Okay."

"But the problem is, that list doesn't have Harry's name on it." He said, and knew that Phil caught on immediately.

"...And you want me to put his name on there?"

"Correct."

Phil let out a heavy sigh and Louis didn't feel remorse for the potential job opening he just accidentally might have created. He wanted Harry at the party so he was going to come to the party whether Louis had to sneak him in himself or ditch it altogether, there was no way in hell he was spending New Years with Eleanor. He was already bored of their relationship and now she was just a nuisance. If he weren't still signed with his management he would've dumped her ages ago.

"Are you calling me because you don't want to ask Mr. Walter?"

"As they say, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission." Louis said looking at his nails.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. Is there anything else?"

"Yeah, actually, if the situation calls for it and you can't get Harry's name on the list, distract Eleanor so I can have Harry for the night. I don't want to spend New Years with her." He knew he was asking a lot but he could always afford to hire a new bodyguard and get a new agent if it came down to it. He was Louis Tomlinson, the one and only. He got what he wanted.

"Alright. Shall I bring Mr. Maynard with me?"

"Yes please." Louis felt like a kid in a candy shop asking what flavors he wanted. "Wait, one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Can you find out if Zayn is going?" If Louis wanted this plan to work he needed all the diversion tactics he could get. So far he had his two bodyguards, Zayn, if he was going, and Perrie if he brought her with.

"I can."

"Okay." Louis sighed, feeling a weight lifted off of his shoulders. Everything seemed to always go perfect when Zayn was around. Like that dinner in France, it hadn't been a complete flop, which Louis had been so grateful for. Zayn was his perfectly good-quiffed luck charm.

"Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you." He said, and suddenly felt so much better. Phil hung up and Louis sat there in the cold for a few more moments before deeming a job well done. He was a genius and he knew it. This would be the best New Years party he'd ever gone to, and only because Harry would be with him while he got to play the Phantom in disguise.

He went back into the restaurant, eyes burning from the sudden change of temperature and nose bright red. He thought his friends would start singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer when he came back but they all looked a mixture of worried and annoyed.

"Did I miss something?" He asked, immediately looking at Harry. He looked put-off, like somehow Louis' absence had made him angry, and Stan took a sip of his tea.

"Not much. We were all discussing how much you hate coffee."

Oh, Louis didn't know if Stan knew that it was his coping method for times in massive stress, but he was going to leave that out of the conversation. It was unnecessary.

Leia stood up from the booth and let Louis slide back in. He gripped Harry's warm hand in his cold one and squeezed, smiling. It seemed to ease his tension a little bit. He left his coffee untouched the rest of the time and saw that Harry noticed by the way he kept glancing at the cup then back to Louis. Each time it happened Louis would distract him by rubbing his thigh soothingly and it shut off Harry's brain for a few minutes before he fell back into the pattern.

Louis definitely had a lot to sort out, one being the arrangement of Harry staying a whole extra week because it would be pointless for him to go home then just have to meet Louis back in London a few days later. Two, he had the party and then the recording session, so it would be much more logical for them to fly down together in a small jet Louis could rent. Somehow, though, everything seemed to be falling into place and he couldn't help but smile to himself.

They all finished their drinks and Stan paid the bill. Before everyone parted ways, Louis let go of Harry's hand to enveloped Stan in a tight hug. Harry knew it'd be a while before they saw each other again so they wanted to relish in the moment for a bit longer. When they pulled away, they exchanged some words, inside jokes that made them laugh, then Stan turned to Harry, giving him a curt goodbye before turning on his heel and not looking back. Mason and Leia on the other hand hugged him and complimented his football skills, and Harry blushed when Leia even added she'd be at Louis and Harry's wedding.

Now Harry was left alone with Louis, his thoughts swirling. Before he fled the restaurant he had been acting weird, then came back and seemed perfectly normal. There was something definitely going on that he was keeping from Harry and that was the first thing he intended to question him about.

Since the restaurant was right across the street from Louis' school, they crossed the road hand-in-hand and their shoes squished on the muddy grass. There was a slight snowfall and Harry presumed it was around five, judging by the way it was starting to get dark already.

They got to the car and Louis opened the door for Harry, slamming it shut. While he was rounding to the driver's side, Harry was left to his thoughts in the cold car. He was stuck in a never-ending cycle of questions and wanted this to all be over with. Him and Louis already fought so much and got into so many pointless arguments, he wanted it to stop.

"So what was that about?" He asked as Louis put the key in the ignition. He looked at Harry and blinked before turning back to the steering wheel.

"Oh, the phone call? It was my mum, she was wondering where we were." He said.

Harry had a hunch that he was lying but wanted to be wrong. "Quite a long conversation just for your mum, don't you think?"

If the car wasn't already cold enough the look Louis sent him made it worse. He said nothing as he put the car in reverse and drove out of the parking lot.

There was a long stretched out silence between the two. Harry was shivering but didn't bother to grab Louis' hand. He wondered what question he could ask next without being sent to an early grave just by one look.

"So...do you want to talk about last night?"

Louis tensed and looked over. "Sure. If you want."

"Why did you walk away? Again, I might add." Harry said. He couldn't even keep track at this point how many times Louis had gotten up and left the room during a heavy snog session and Harry wanted to know why.

Louis sighed. "I've told you, Haz, I don't want to take things too far. I saw the look on your face and I-"

"You were reading me wrong." He interjected. Louis scowled. "I trust you, why don't you trust me?"

"I'm pretty sure we're past the trust stage," Louis grumbled. "It has nothing to do with that."

"Then what?"

"Here's a question for you," Louis said, "do you want to come to a New Years party with me?"

Harry is so appalled by the sudden subject change that he could hardly comprehend it. "Wh...What?"

Louis glanced at him. "Do you want to come to a New Years party with me?"

"Well, yeah, of course, but you totally changed the subject!"

"Because it's only going to result in an argument that you wouldn't like." Louis said. "What would you say if I told you it was because I decided I wasn't in the mood?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "That's a quick decision then."

Louis' eyes quivered. "It happens."

"Okay," Harry took in a deep breath, "I feel like I'm going out on a limb here, but I honestly have nothing to lose at this point." He has Louis' full attention by now. "I feel like you're keeping things from me. Back when you were playing football I met Hannah on the bleachers and when we were talking she told me some things and it doesn't add up with what you've told me."

Louis' lips pressed into a thin line. Harry took that as his cue to continue.

"I mean I really don't know what to believe anymore, with all this secrecy with Eleanor and Hannah and Stan and Nick-"

"Harry, Harry," Louis said quickly, "you're getting in over your head. What Hannah told you doesn't matter, are you seriously going to believe her over me?"

"Well, no," He said, dumbfounded.

"Exactly. So don't worry about it." Louis smiled as if all the problems of the world had been answered but Harry wasn't done.

"Louis, I still have no idea what's going on." Harry said, desperation becoming apparent in his tone. "Who's Nick?"

"Irrelevant," Louis smiled, "anything else?"

Harry let out an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you lying to me?"

Louis raised an eyebrow as he turned on his left signal. "What would I lie to you about?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe that you cheated on Hannah."

Louis pulled off to the side of the road so quickly Harry had to grip onto the armrest as if his life depended on it. Once they were completely stopped, Louis snapped his gaze to Harry, his eyes burning and voice stern. Harry felt his throat drop to his stomach.

"Whatever Hannah told you is a lie. She's my ex for a reason Harry. She's a liar. You can't honestly say you believe her over me, who's the one you're in a relationship with again?"

Harry pursed his lips. "Well, you, but-"

"Exactly. So drop it." He snapped, leaving no more room for conversation.

Harry felt like he wanted to cry. Why was Louis being so defensive? He was more confused now that he was beforehand, was he supposed to believe Hannah or Louis? None of this was making sense anymore. He tentatively reached out and touched Louis' hand that was sitting on the armrest; his eyes buried in his other hand. He seemed just as frustrated as Harry, knowing that his own boyfriend had doubted him. Harry felt terrible.

"Lou, I'm sorry. I-I just," Harry sighed, tightening his grip on Louis' hand. "I feel like I hardly know you. Hannah and Stan grew up with you so they know you better than anyone else, how am I supposed to know what to believe when I don't even know anything about you?"

Louis was silent, only worsening Harry's guilt.

"It's my fault," Louis said, and Harry wanted to yell at him a thousand times "no it's not" but Louis kept talking. "I don't speak up because I don't think it's necessary to say. I've grown up my whole life like that, always being shut down." He looked at Harry. "I'm complete shit at saying how I feel, Harry, and you know that better than anyone. Just like my birthday, I didn't tell you because I thought you wouldn't care."

And suddenly a new piece of the puzzle had been found. Louis was so used to being thrown aside that he never actually learned how to express himself in a healthy and effective way. He lied to protect himself and everyone around him and Harry never wanted to hug him harder.

"I'm so sorry, Lou." He said, rubbing his thumb gently on top of Louis' hand. He looked down at it and set his other hand on top of Harry's, smiling.

"Well now you know, so I guess that's progress?" He grinned hopefully and Harry couldn't be more in love.

"Kiss me you fool." He said, and Louis couldn't be happier to oblige.

They unbuckled their seatbelts and leaned to meet halfway in a rush to physically feel each other as soon as possible. The only obstacle between them was the middle console and Harry wanted to tear it out as quickly as possible to close the gap. Louis broke their contact and clambered over the console before landing in Harry's lap and picking up right where they left off. Harry's hands snuck behind his bulky coat and up his shirt to the small of his back. Louis was so tiny, so warm, so perfect. And he was all his.

Louis dug his fingers into the corners of Harry's mouth as they kissed. It had been far too long since the last time they'd done this. Hours seemed like years in the universe they inhibited and there was no possible way to be closer than they already were yet they felt like they were so far away. Harry's hands slid down to Louis' hips as Louis' mouth trailed down to Harry's neck, gently nipping and sucking at the flesh. Harry let his head fall back as Louis teased him, moving his hips back and forth in a tantalizing rhythm.

"Louis," Harry said, "Louis."

He stopped, pulling away. "What?"

"Promise me you'll tell me things from now on." Harry said, panting. It really wasn't the time but he needed to make sure he could get a point across, even if it meant interrupting their make out session. "Promise. Even if you don't think it's necessary."

"Of course." Louis' brows furrowed but he was still smiling. Harry grinned and pressed their lips together before pulling back.

"You promise?"

"Yes." Louis brought their lips back together and Harry pulled away again. He didn't even have time to let one word come out before Louis slapped a hand over his mouth. "Don't you dare!"

Harry laughed, bringing their lips back together. He could get used to this, everything felt so right with Louis. Even if they argued and there were still things Harry didn't understand completely, there was no one else he'd rather be with. He wanted to give Louis his all and have him in return. He wanted to be able to wake up next to him and get to be the first one to see his ruffled bed head and sparkly blue eyes, he wanted to be the first one to give him a good morning kiss, he wanted to be the first one to kiss him goodbye to work, he wanted to be Louis' everything.

Louis smiled against Harry's mouth and kissed with so much fervor it sent shivers up Harry's spine. This is what he wanted forever, Louis to be his. Their tongues tangled together and Harry felt Louis undoing his belt and top button. His half-hard cock sprung free and Louis stared at it for a moment before taking it in hand, yanking it until they both came, staining their clothes and the interior of the car.

Yeah, Harry could definitely get used to this.

XxX


	24. Chapter 24

XxX

"You can't catch me!" Phoebe and Daisy shouted, running in different directions. Harry chased after one twin but then they would switch directions and he would go after the other. Louis watched him from the patio with amusement, his mood exceptionally brighter today. He could watch Harry all day, he was hilarious and told the most stupid jokes but that's what made him perfect. They were practically inseparable at this point. If anyone had thought they were before they would be wrong compared to how they were now. There was nowhere they could go without the other trailing behind. They were starting to mirror each other, finish sentences, do hand gestures that helped describe a story both of them had heard many times, they would say the same thing at the same time then look at each other and laugh, too caught in the moment to even focus back on the conversation.

Throughout the day they would often catch themselves smiling at nothing just at the thought of the other. Harry never caught the fond glances Louis sent his way but Lottie definitely did and made a point to vocalize it each time it happened. Louis started messing up her hair every time she did it and she stopped. There wasn't a time they could go five seconds without a small kiss or touch of the hand. Neither of them could help it

Daisy and Phoebe screeched when Harry tackled them into the snow, sending white flurries all around them. It had snowed overnight so Lottie and Fizzy were in the midst of building a snowman. As it turned out Fizzy had rolled the body too large to fit on the bottom so they were dejectedly scraping off snow from the edges. He turned his head when he heard the door slide open and his mum walked out with Ernest in her arms.

"Aren't you going to play with them?"

"Nah," He said, waving her off. "I'd much rather watch-" A snowball hit him square in the face and he spluttered the snow out of his mouth. He looked incredulously at one of the three culprits and they all pointed to the other. Harry's arms crossed to point at both of the twins who were on each side of him. Louis growled and stood up, brushing the snow off of him.

"Harry..."

"It wasn't me!" Harry protested, dashing away from a playfully angry Louis. Phoebe and Daisy squealed as Louis picked up a large amount of snow and balled it up, chucking it at both of them. Johannah laughed and dusted off the snow in the chair and sat down, watching her children and Harry break out in a full-blown snowball fight.

Lottie screamed when Louis shoved snow down her back and Fizzy was laughing until Harry did the same to her. She gasped and jumped around until all the snow was out from her clothes and made a snowball, aiming for Harry but hitting Daisy instead. Dan came outside with Doris in his arms and chuckled at the sight.

"Quite the energetic bunch out here."

Johannah nodded. "Definitely. Harry finally got Louis to come outside and play with the girls for once."

Dan pulled up a chair and sat next to her. He bounced Doris on his leg and she grinned cheerfully. "I found them in the same bed yesterday."

Johannah looked over at him. "Did you?"

He nodded. "There's nothing wrong with that, I just didn't want the girls to walk in and see something they weren't supposed to."

Johannah smiled. "Louis wouldn't ever do anything to scar the girls. He knows how big of an influence he is on them."

"I just don't know him that well since he's mostly been gone from the time we got married." He let Doris play with his fingers. "Did you know about Harry?"

Johannah shook her head. "No, and I try not to ask too many questions. I know Louis likes being independent so I wanted him to figure things out himself. But he's putting himself in a real compromising situation with his agent and Eleanor, I know that much."

"Eleanor is his girlfriend, right?"

She nodded.

"Well maybe you need to this time." He switched Johannah babies and bounced Ernest in his lap. "Maybe he's gotten himself into something he doesn't know how to get out of."

They both looked back to the kids who were now piling on top of each other. Harry was face down in the snow underneath all the Tomlinson's with Louis on top, looking self-righteous in his powerful state. Harry flailed his arms and they all rolled off of him. He gasped for air as his numb, red face finally surfaced from the suffocating snow. Louis laughed and ruffed his hair and Harry pretended to bite at Louis' finger. He jumped back in surprise and shoved snow in his face as payback. Daisy and Phoebe followed his example and dumped snow on Harry's head.

"Why am I the scapegoat?" Harry whined, almost completely buried beneath snow. Louis kneeled at the top of his head and loomed over him.

"Because my sisters get bored of me." Louis smiled and kissed his forehead. "Sorry love."

Harry smashed snow into Louis' face and broke out of the snow prison. His teeth were chattering as he stood up and then fell back to the ground, rubbing his arms and legs back and forth. Louis gave him a weird look.

"What are you doing?"

"Making a snow angel!" He chirped.

"I wanna make one!" Daisy exclaimed, following Harry's example and fell to the ground. Phoebe did too and flattened the snow before waving their arms and legs back and forth. They all stood up and looked at their creation. Harry sighed.

"Leonardo would be proud of me."

Louis rolled his eyes and pushed Harry playfully. He scrunched his nose and instead of starting another snow war he went over to Lottie and Fizzy's snowman. He helped them pick up the head and set it on top before putting on the eyes, buttons, and nose. Louis was about to bite the tip of the carrot before Harry snatched it away.

"You can't eat the nose!"

"He can be Frosty the Thugman!"

Harry shook his head and stuffed the nose in the middle, stepping back to look at the snow sculpture. There was one thing missing and none of them knew until Phoebe snatched the beanie from Louis' head.

"Here's his hat!" She said, handing it to Lottie and she put it over the top. Louis wasn't too happy that one of his favorite beanies was now going to be stretched out but they were all proud of the creation nonetheless.

"Alright, Frosty is done. I'm calling it a night, my toes are frozen." Louis said, retreating to the patio. He stomped the snow off his boots shook out his hair. His hair was drenched from the amount of snow that had melted on it and he couldn't feel his hands through his gloves. Harry did the same and they all stripped to their last layer of underclothing before they were allowed to go inside.

Harry and Louis made all the girls close their eyes before they scurried up to Louis' bedroom in just their boxers and closed the door, immediately landing on the bed in a tangle of limbs and lips pressed together. They were still both so cold they could hardly move and they ended up cutting their snog session short as they could only laugh through their shivering. Louis was lying on Harry's torso with his arms wrapped around Louis' back, letting their body heat transfuse.

They were both warmed up and half-asleep when they heard a knock on Louis' door. They both blinked groggily and sat up.

"Who is it?" Louis asked.

"Me," Johannah's voice came through the door, "can I come in?"

"Uhh," Louis scrambled off Harry and out of the bed to his closet, throwing Harry a shirt and putting on clothes, "yeah, come in!"

She opened the door right as Louis did up his top button and Harry threw the covers over the bottom half of his body. Louis smiled at her.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment." She asked. Louis' face fell and she quickly added, "You're not in trouble, I promise. I just haven't gotten to talk to you yet." She looked at Harry. "Do you mind?"

He shook his head. "No, not at all, go ahead."

Johannah beckoned Louis out the door and he cast Harry a look before shutting the door. Harry heard their footsteps pad down the hall and he figured this would be a good time to put on trousers.

He made sure they weren't coming back before getting out of Louis' bed and darting to his closet. It was fairly sized, big enough to be a walk-in, and he scanned through the shelves before finding gym shorts he could wear. As he stepped forward to pull out a pair, he heard a crumple beneath him. He looked down and lifted his foot, seeing a piece of paper. Harry bent down and picked it up, flipping it to the other side and seeing Louis' name scrawled on the front. It must've fallen when Louis grabbed the shirt for Harry. He glanced out of the closet to make sure Louis wasn't walking back in before looking back to the note. He really shouldn't open it but his curiosity was killing him.

Harry unfolded it, seeing it dated almost two years ago. The note must've been something important for Louis to keep it for so long. He read it slowly.

I'm rather disappointed to hear that you and Eleanor are together now. I thought we had something special? You kept reassuring me that I was everything you wanted and I believed you when I shouldn't have. We fucked then you left when you found something better. Is that how your disorder works? You get bored then move on to the "next best thing"? I wonder how long you can keep this up before everyone finds out how terrible you actually are. When you've gotten your fill of fun don't come crawling back to me because I won't feel sorry for you. You should've listened to me.

Sincerely,

Nick

Harry couldn't move. What the fuck did he just read? Was this the same Nick Hannah had mentioned and Louis said was irrelevant? If it was, then it was confirmed Louis cheated on Hannah. And what about a disorder, what did that even mean? Most importantly why did Louis keep the note? What was so valuable about something that only would bring down his self-esteem? Maybe he just forgot to throw it out, or maybe he actually kept it on purpose.

Well what was he supposed to do now? He was in Doncaster staying at Louis' house in Louis' room wearing Louis' clothes after meeting Louis' friends and family. Everything had been just fine after their argument yesterday. A stupid note from two years ago shouldn't change anything. Like Hannah said, it was in the past. Harry had to accept that Louis cheated on Hannah and that was said and done, it couldn't be taken back. He had to pretend like nothing was wrong.

He sighed, rubbing a hand across his forehead. This absolutely could not change anything. Harry knew that Louis cheated so there was nothing he could do. He wasn't going to overreact, he was going to stay calm and think rationally. History wasn't repeating itself, Harry wasn't the "next best thing", Louis was the one for Harry and that was that.

Harry heard footsteps and quickly scrambled to stuff the note back under a pile of clothes and act inconspicuously. This wouldn't change things, he chanted in his mind, this wouldn't change things, this wouldn't change things. I'm still Louis' and he's still mine.

"Harry?" Louis said tentatively. He poked his head out of the doorway. Louis jumped and held a hand to his chest. "You scared me. What are you doing in the closet?"

"Oh, you know." Harry grinned, and Louis deadpanned at him. He let out a snicker and Louis rolled his eyes playfully.

"You dork, come here." He opened his arms and Harry hugged him tightly. He smelled just like he was supposed to. All homey and warm and Louis. There was nothing better than that.

"Looks like you found some shorts," Louis says, looking down at the chosen pair Harry picked out. He looked down then back at Louis sheepishly.

"Well, I figured walking around in my underwear wouldn't benefit anyone but you, so."

Louis smiled and kissed him gently. Harry rested his hand on the back of Louis' neck to pull them closer but pulled away when he heard someone walking down the hall. It was just Johannah and she smiled at them both before going down the stairs.

"So what did you two talk about, if I can ask?" Harry turned to Louis. He shrugged.

"She just asked me about Eleanor. What I was going to do about hit."

Harry's brows furrowed the slightest bit. "What did she say?"

"Nothing serious, that's it." Louis said, walking past Harry into his closet. "Hazza, come here."

Harry had to keep the chant, nothing has changed, nothing has changed, in his brain as he stood next to Louis in front of all his hangers. He pulled down a green hoodie and handed it to Harry.

"I want you to have this," He said holding it out. Harry took it, his expression quizzical.

"Why?"

"Think of it as an after Christmas present." Louis said grinning. Harry couldn't resist his smile and hugged him. Warm.

"Thank you. Are you sure?"

"Harry," Louis pulled away, "If I wasn't I wouldn't have given it to you."

"Okay, okay," He kissed Louis' forehead. "I love it."

There was a moment when Louis' mouth opened but he closed it and smiled instead. He didn't think anything of it, still keeping up the chant in his brain.

XxX

The plan was Harry would drive back home the next day before Louis came and picked him up in a private jet in an empty field a few miles away. Yeah, Harry could hardly believe it, and neither could Gemma and his mother, but what could he say? His boyfriend was rich.

The ride was long and quiet without Louis so Harry had a lot of time to think to himself. Of course, he had to keep things in perspective, or else he would be holding a grudge for no reason then cause another fight. That was the last thing Harry wanted so he was trying to keep his questions at a minimum. He noticed that whenever he asked Louis something and he only responded with a short answer then changed the subject it meant he didn't want to talk about it. And since there was no possible way Harry could indirectly get an answer, he stopped asking altogether.

He switched on the radio and Ed Sheeran came on. He smiled and turned it up, singing along and harmonizing. It was nice to just be alone for once without having to worry about anything. He felt like the world was starting to weigh on his shoulders with all this drama. He thought about his life only months before back in August, him and Niall were lazing around on the couch eating crisps and watching stupid videos on the Internet and dreading their final year of school. Then the day Louis walked in it was like the whole purpose of the universe had changed. Harry no longer cared about things he had before and his entire existence relied on Louis. It was a bit unhealthy, Harry had to admit, but that's why this drive was good for him. They were getting time apart to relax and just think.

Speaking of Niall, Harry knew he was coming home today from visiting his relatives in Ireland. He was planning on paying a visit to the Horan home since they hadn't been in contact since the day Harry showed Louis around his town. That was unusual since they could never go a few hours without sending a quick text or calling each other and he vaguely wondered if Louis was pushing Niall away.

No way, Niall would speak up if they started drifting apart. They had been through too much to let a simple relationship get in the way. But still, Harry felt guilty that he never spent as much time with Niall as he used to since he was always on alert for whenever Louis wanted to bring him somewhere. And when he did hang out with Niall, all Harry ever did was talk about Louis. Wow. He felt like a shitty friend.

Paying Niall a visit was definitely on his to-do-list when he got home. Then he had to pack so he could go spend another week with Louis in London to go to a party and record their songs. What was his life becoming?

He pulled into his driveway and a sense of nostalgia hit him. He hadn't realized how much he missed home just in the few days. Yeah, spending a Christmas at the Tomlinson-Deakin house had been fun, but there was no place like home. Harry just so happened to start humming Somewhere Over The Rainbow as he grabbed his suitcase and walked inside his house.

"Hello, I'm home." He said, his voice echoing against the walls. That was strange, usually he would've heard some type of noise in the kitchen or seen lights turned on upstairs. He walked forward cautiously to the kitchen until all the lights flipped on.

"Welcome home!" Everyone shouted, which was his mum, Gemma, Liam, Sophia, and Niall. There was a poster that said Welcome Home Harry in fancy font and presents on the table. He blinked, feeling a burden lift off his shoulders.

Anne was the first to hug him, then Gemma, then Liam and Niall, and Harry even gave Sophia a hug.

"What are you all doing here?" He asked, genuinely surprised.

"We haven't seen you in ages!" Niall said. "Well, at least I haven't." He laughed and Harry hadn't realized how much he missed the sound. He pulled Niall into another tight hug and for a moment thought it was Louis by the way he lingered as they pulled away.

"We have presents for you too, since you weren't here." Liam said. "And don't worry, you can tell us all about Louis' family later."

Niall nodded but it seemed forced. They all must've filled him in before Harry arrived; he'd been absent for Louis showing up to his house and getting back together so Harry was grateful he didn't have to deal with that speech. Sophia handed Harry a present.

"This one's from me, Liam helped me pick it out."

"Aw, seriously guys, you didn't have to." He said taking it from her. And he meant it because not once had it crossed his mind to buy them a present.

"We wanted to." Niall said, eying the necklace hanging from the chain. "What's that?"

"Oh, this?" Harry looked down, holding it in his fingers. His reality was suddenly crashing back on him all at once and he didn't want to be there anymore. He wanted to go back to Louis where it was safe and the only issue he had to deal with was they hadn't gone all the way yet. His whole life and existence had begun to revolve around Louis and nothing else. This realization made him feel like the most selfish, inconsiderate bastard that had ever walked this planet. "Johannah and Dan–er, Louis' mum and step-dad gave it to me."

Niall scrutinized it between his fingers. It was still sheen and brand new and Harry felt himself subconsciously pulling away. Louis was his; the necklace was too special for anyone else to look at. He took it from Niall and when Niall looked up at him quizzically he smiled sheepishly.

"Brand new, don't want finger prints on it." Harry said and dropped it down his shirt. Niall was giving him a look that Harry had forgotten what it meant, but sat at the table. "Presents?"

Harry ended up getting some new earphones, socks, a phone case, and miscellaneous souvenirs Niall brought back from Ireland. They were mostly clovers or fake leprechaun beards, nothing that would be qualified as a serious Christmas present.

"Niall, didn't you have one more thing?" Anne asked. All eyes turned to him and he immediately flustered.

"No, no, that was it. I promise." He flashed a grin and Gemma gave him a look. He glanced at her before looking back at Harry.

"I'm gonna go put this stuff up in my room," Harry said, hoping to get away from the crowd watching him like a hawk. Hopefully he could quickly call Louis and get a few things off his chest before going back and facing reality. It was like every time someone looked at him or spoke to him was a slap in the face. He gathered the presents in his arms and headed upstairs, going in his room and shutting the door. He set them on his bed deciding that he would go through them later after everyone left.

The door creaked open and Harry turned around to see Niall. He looked rather obdurate and awkward standing in his doorway, waiting for permission to come in, which, Harry never remembered a time when they hadn't just barged in. Something had drastically changed.

"Hey, you can come in you know." Harry said, offering a smile that would hopefully make it easier for Niall to spill. He nodded and took a step in and looked around as if Harry's room were some magical realm. He sat on the end of the bed and played with the ends of his sweater.

"How was Ireland?" Harry asked. He might as well make some conversation while Niall was gathering his thoughts.

"Good," He answered. "Same as how I left it last year." He let out a small chuckle as his gaze fell to the floor. "Harry, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, course, anything."

Niall was quiet for a long time. "So, Louis, you went to his place, right?" Harry nodded. "Oh, okay."

There was a long stretch of pause that was blatantly empty and Harry couldn't help but let out a snort. "That's it? That's all you wanted to ask me?"

Niall laughed. "Okay, no, but it's really awkward right now to be honest. I haven't see you in forever and you're all..." He gestured to Harry's body, "relationship-y."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Relationship-y. What does that mean?"

Niall shrugged. "I don't know, Haz. I'm just trying to make conversation."

Harry sat next to him, twiddling his fingers. That was definitely a new one, there had never been a time where Harry and Niall had run out of things to say in all of their years growing up together.

"I know there's something else, Niall. You can just say it." Harry said.

Niall inhaled deeply. "Okay. Well, I don't know, I feel like all you ever do is go with Louis everywhere. And I know he's your boyfriend and stuff but like," He takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair, "when's the last time you actually thought about someone other than Louis?"

If tumbleweed could ever end up in a house it would definitely be rolling across Harry's messy floor and out the window. Niall looked appalled that he'd actually said that out loud and he backpedaled.

"No wait, that's not what I meant, that came out wrong."

"No, Niall, it's fine, you're right." Harry shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I was just thinking about that on the drive here. I spend way too much time talking about him." Niall gave him a look that clearly said, "you just figured this out?" Harry nudged him lightly. "Hey, I'm learning."

"I know, I know." Niall rubbed his arm. "I don't mean to sound like a sap but we never hang out anymore. I miss you."

Harry nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry."

Niall was about to say something, but Harry's phone rang in his pocket. He furrowed his brows and pulled it out. Why was Louis calling him?

"Just a second," He held out a finger to Niall, vaguely having déjà vu back to when him and Louis were in the bakery and Niall called him. "Hey, Lou. What's up?"

"Love, I have a favor."

"Sure, anything."

"You know that New Years party I was talking about? The one in London?"

"Yeah."

"How would you feel about having your mates come with you, the one that hates me and the baldy and his girlfriend?"

"You want Niall, Liam and Sophia to come?" He asked, glancing at Niall. "Um, not that I'm against it, but why?"

Harry imagined Louis probably shrugged. "Just please, will you ask them? It'll be more fun for you if they do come. Besides, it's by invite only, and who isn't dying to go to a big celebrity party?"

Well, there was truth in that, so Harry couldn't argue. "Sure, I'll ask them."

"Okay," He sounded cheerful and Harry couldn't help but smiling. "See you tomorrow, Hazza. Be there on time!"

Harry laughed. "I will. Bye."

Louis hung up and Harry was sufficiently in a better mood now. Niall gave him a quizzical look.

"Was that the husband?"

"Boyfriend," Harry corrected, willing his blush away, "and yes. We were going to a New Years party this week and he just invited you guys."

Niall seemed to be in dismay at the idea of Louis being nice to him. He opened and closed his mouth multiple times much like a fish, completely at loss for words. All that he could manage was, "Seriously?"

Harry laughed. "Serious. It's a huge celebrity party. Invite only."

"Well hell yeah I'm coming." Niall stood up. "And if Louis even tries to complain remind him that he's the one who invited me."

"I will." Harry grinned. There wasn't that awkward tension between them anymore, they had fallen back into their usual bantering. Harry didn't feel so guilty anymore, right now he was away from his drug so he could think clearly. It seemed as when he was with Louis all his judgment clouded and he couldn't think logically. But now that he was back home in the presence of five people who loved him unconditionally, he felt more like himself.

"Come on, your mum made food and I'm starving." Niall said, and before he could walk out of the room Harry grabbed his wrist.

"Niall," He said, "I'm sorry, you know. For not keeping in touch."

Niall gave him a dismissing wave. "It's no big deal, I was drunk most of the time anyway. I just hoped Liam helped you when I text-bullied him into taking you wherever you wanted. You went bowling, right?"

Harry grinned at the memory. "Yeah. That was fun."

Niall smiled. "Good, that's what I was hoping for." He pulled Harry back downstairs and Harry caught a glimpse of the small black box in Niall's back pocket but brushed it off and didn't worry about a single thing the rest of the night.

XxX


	25. Chapter 25

XxX

Harry woke up to the sunlight shining on his eyes. He blinked groggily and sat up, making an arm fall off his waist. He smiled down at the body next to him, planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Louiiiiiis, wake up."

He groaned, pawing at the air to get Harry to leave him alone. Harry chuckled and rolled on top of him and bit his nose.

"Louiiis."

"Mmm what?" He said, putting his hand over his eyes. Harry grinned.

"Aren't we going to record today?"

"Hmm?" Louis finally opened his eyes, looking around their hotel room. They had flown in late yesterday after Louis picked them up in a private jet. The second Louis had climbed down the steps he jumped into Harry's arms, already having missed him even though it had only been a day. Harry carried him off a few feet until Louis fell to the ground and they kissed passionately, making Niall, Liam, Sophia, and Anne roll their eyes. The two were so sappy and co-dependent it was almost sickening.

Louis had talked to Anne for a minute, thanking her for letting Harry come and stay for Christmas before they got on the jet. They then arrived in London only an hour and a half later where a huge suite was provided. It had three bedrooms and two bathrooms meaning Harry got one room, Niall and Liam shared the other, and Sophia got her own. Of course, Liam spent most of the time with Sophia anyway so he stayed in her room the first night, giving Niall the bed all to himself.

"Yeah, what day is it?" Louis said after a long pause. Harry buried his head into Louis' neck, inhaling the scent that was unique to only Louis. And he was too adorable.

"The twenty-eighth."

Louis groaned, rubbing a hand across his forehead. It always took him a minute to wake up, but when he did, he was as perky as can be and him and Harry could have a good morning hand job before ordering high quality breakfast for their suite. Harry was already planning on what he wanted when Louis shoved him to the side, straddling him and tickling his sides mercilessly. Harry laughed, doing his best to stop Louis' persistent poking but to no avail.

He pulled Louis down in a kiss and they rolled over, tugging their pajama pants off and letting their cocks spring free. Harry had missed this in the short time he was away.

After they brushed their teeth and showered separately, Harry greeted Louis at the counter with a kiss. Niall rolled his eyes and poked at his eggs petulantly while Liam and Sophia were sitting on the couch.

"What time are we leaving?" Harry asked, cutting his crepe in half. Louis stole one of the strawberries from Harry's plate and popped it into his mouth. Harry scrunched his nose and knocked the fork out of Louis' hand. He retaliated by doing the same and Niall snorted.

"You two are disgusting. There's other people in the room too, you know."

Harry gave him an apologetic look and Louis rolled his eyes. "Don't be jealous just 'cause you're single and lonely."

Niall glared at Louis. Harry groaned.

"Guys, please don't fight. We're here for five days so try not to kill each other before then."

Louis and Niall cast each other a look before going back to their food. Harry shook his head and took a bite of his crepe. He swore he was surrounded by immature five-year-olds fighting over a toy. He knew Niall wouldn't ever actually do anything but spew slander and insult him but Louis on the other hand...Harry honestly had no idea what he was capable of.

"Anyway, we leave in forty-five minutes." Louis said, smacking a kiss to Harry's lips despite Niall and he strutted off to the bedroom. Niall glared daggers at him the entire time and Harry only shook his head.

"What are we supposed to do while you two are gone?" Niall asked indignantly.

"It's called being a tourist!" Louis called from the bedroom. Harry smiled at Niall sympathetically and slid off the barstool.

He walked in the bedroom to find Louis on his phone, tweeting about the EP and getting up the hype for it. Many people seemed excited and Louis got an ingenious idea to make Harry an account, immediately tagging him afterwards in a tweet. Louis helped him set up an account on most social media sites and for Harry's first picture on Instagram he took a picture of Louis shying away from the camera and captioned it "Louisstagram". After he posted it, Louis chased him around the room to try and steal his phone to delete it but they ended up falling on the bed, lips locked and phone forgotten.

It seemed like forever before they pulled apart. Harry had a very large bulge in his pants and Louis tapped it playfully before going to slip on his shoes. Harry dragged him back to the bed with one shoe and half a sock on and made him fix the problem before they were allowed to leave.

The drive to the studio was about ten minutes and on the way there Harry was admiring the snowy view. He had never been to London before, which Louis found incredibly surprising, but so far he loved it. He had his face pressed against the glass like a small child, tapping Louis and pointing out something he liked. Louis grinned and simply held his hand, giving instructions to Phil and Nicholas in the front. Nicholas was reading direction on his phone while Phil was driving. Harry felt good to know that he was in protection again and didn't have to worry about any mobbing or sneak attacks on them while their back was turned.

At the studio, Louis chivalrously opened the door for Harry and he mock thanked him, earning a slap on his bum as he walked through. Louis led them down the hallway and to the left. A few times Harry started to lag behind due to his interest in the sleek tile and fancy wall designs and light fixtures. It was almost like he was in a completely new dimension.

They walked into a room and a man was sitting at a soundboard and he looked up at the noise. He immediately smiled and stood up, holding out his arms.

"Ah, Louis! It's been a while since I've seen you, you've grown some." He wrapped Louis in a tight hug and messed up his hair. Louis laughed and swatted his hands away.

"Aye, not the hair! This is what wins the ladies," Louis winked at Harry and he scoffed.

"Harry, this is Andrew Irvine, he's the manager of this studio. Mr. Irvine, this is my boyfriend, Harry Styles." Louis gestured to Harry. Harry nodded appreciatively, feeling his nerves begin to rise. Andrew pursed his lips, scrutinizing him.

"Harry Styles, huh?" Andrew said, holding out his hand. "Very marketable name. I'm Mr. Irvine."

"Pleasure." Harry shook his hand firmly. On the other side of the room a door opened and a pretty lady with a pixie cut came into the room. She saw all of them gathered and approached with a smile. Andrew immediately pulled her in close.

"Louis, Harry, this is my assistant Devry Scott. I just hired her, she's quite the keeper!" Andrew gushed. Devry chuckled.

"Always the charmer, Andrew. Nice to meet you, Louis, Harry," Devry shook both of their hands. "I'm Mrs. Scott."

"Who's the lucky man?" Harry questioned. Andrew and Devry burst into laughter and Louis and Harry looked at each other quizzically.

"I like you already. I have a wife, Harry." Devry said. Harry's formed into a silent 'o' and he flushed. Louis giggled from the side of him.

"Oh...I apologize." Harry muttered.

"It's alright!" Devry patted his back comfortingly. "You lads have a bit of time blocked out today, what are you up to?"

"We're doing an EP," Louis pulled Harry closer to him by his waist. "We've written a few songs."

Andrew raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. "Even with your girlfriend in the picture?"

Louis scowled and subconsciously gripped Harry tighter. "She's not my girlfriend. Harry is the only one for me."

Andrew nodded since he couldn't disagree. Devry set her clipboard down on the desk and sat at the soundboard, wrapping headphones around her neck.

"Well, let's get started then." Andrew said, sitting in the chair next to Devry. "You've emailed me the audio files, correct?"

"Yes." Louis pulled out of his back pocket the papers that contained the lyrics. Harry had no idea he was so on top of things, he must've really been working on it the past month for him to already have this much done. "I want it exported to the highest quality possible."

Andrew flicked his hands out. "You know me. Go get in the booth. Harry can go second." He flashed them a smile and put on his headphones. Louis squeezed Harry's hand before going into the studio, putting on his set of headphones.

"Can you hear me?" He asked. Andrew and Devry gave him thumbs up while Harry was only reading his lips. He stood next to Phil and Nicholas and watched Louis as he closed his eyes and tapped the beat on his leg, taking a deep breath once the music started playing. They recorded his parts first for two of the songs before he was done and came out of the booth.

"How'd I do?" He asked, and Harry had a vague memory of back in Cheshire when Louis kidnapped him to come to a radio interview. It seemed like so long ago and now here they were in London making an EP together.

"I dunno, couldn't hear you." He said. Louis frowned which made Harry grin.

"You're up, Harry." Andrew said. Harry's nerves suddenly kicked in and he looked to Phil and Nicholas. They smiled at him encouragingly and Louis raised an eyebrow. He led Harry into the booth and showed him what to do. There was one microphone with headphones wrapped around it hanging from the ceiling in the center. Harry put on the headphones and Louis handed him the paper containing the lyrics and gave him a kiss before shutting the door.

Harry wasn't claustrophobic but the sudden feeling of being enclosed in a dimly lit booth wasn't very enlightening. He wringed his wrists and tried to familiarize himself with the small booth. It didn't work.

"Can you hear me?" Andrew asked. Harry nodded. "Okay, talk into the microphone."

"Um, hi." He said, at loss of what else to say. Andrew tried to contain his amused smile.

"Okay, I'm going to play the music. You'll hear Louis' voice and then it'll be your turn. You two are both singing the chorus, correct?"

"I think so." Harry said, looking at Louis. He was talking to Phil and Nicholas so wasn't paying attention. He wanted him to be in the booth so he could talk him through this whole procedure or at least acknowledge that he was in the booth. He'd never done this before so he felt completely out of his element.

The music started playing and it startled Harry. He heard Louis sing and was frozen in place until it was blank. Andrew stopped the music.

"Harry, that was your cue."

"Right, right, sorry." He shook his head, trying to psych himself up. He couldn't chicken out now; he was already in a studio so there was no going back at this point.

"Okay, I'll start it over. Just relax, I know you're nervous but it's not as scary as you think it is."

Andrew's words echoed in Harry's brain as he clutched one fist at his side, holding the paper full of lyrics in the other. He heard Louis' voice in the microphone and took a shaky breath before starting. His voice was small and timid but by the next time his part came he sang more confidently, pushing himself out of his comfort zone. By the end of the song he heard Andrew hum in approval.

"Very, very, good Harry. That was excellent for your first time."

Harry felt a grin bloom on his face. He bit his lip to contain the expression; even such a simple compliment meant so much to him coming from someone like Andrew.

"Do you think you'd want to redo the first part? I noticed your voice was a bit weak."

"Yeah, that'd be great." Harry said, thankful that Andrew was willing to be patient and work with him until he got the hang of it.

The second song went smoothly even though at one part Harry got tongue-tied in the middle of a sentence. That was the only part they had to redo. They spent another thirty minutes playing it back and editing it until Andrew swiveled around and clasped them both in a hug.

"You two are brilliant. It's always a pleasure working with you Louis." He ruffled his hair and Louis scrunched his nose.

"What'd I say about the hair!"

"Oh you can fix it later." Andrew waved him off. He turned to Harry. "Excellent job. I'll be looking forward to your second session."

Harry nodded, feeling a sense of pride swell in his chest. When they got back in the car, they started heading in a direction Harry was positive wasn't the hotel and he turned to Louis.

"Where are we going?"

He blinked before smiling sheepishly. "Oh, did I forget to tell you? We have a photo shoot too."

"A photo shoot?" Harry asked incredulously. Not once had he ever posed for a picture unless it was for a sports team or employee of the month. How did Louis expect him to do a photo shoot when he didn't even bring anything to wear?

He apparently had nothing to worry about when they arrived at the studio. Phil and Nicholas took them up the lift and into a room with multiple cameras and lights all facing towards a white backdrop. Harry gulped and held tighter onto Louis' hand at the sight. What even was the point of photo shoots? He didn't understand why someone would want to stare at his face 24/7. Louis' face, yes. His face, no.

The photographer approached them with a thick French accent, kissing them both on the cheeks then spouting something incoherent before leading them to the dressing room. Louis was dressed in braces and colored chinos whereas Harry was given a light blue dress shirt. Two ladies worked on their hair, one named Lou that Louis seemed to be rather fond of and Harry had a feeling it was because of the name similarity, and he played with Lou's daughter until they were called on set. Louis went first just for candid shots, some of him laughing, some serious, some smiling, then it was Harry's turn. He looked at Louis like a deer in headlights and he made faces at him, pointing to his cheeks and mouthing, "smile!"

Never in his life had Harry experienced something so different. Being famous seemed like a lot of work; always having to worry about not getting kidnapped or mobbed and then the work aspect of it along with pointless photo shoots. Harry didn't know if he could handle being more famous than just a simple EP with Louis. After this he wanted out of the limelight to leave it for other people who craved the spotlight more than he did.

Louis was brought into the pictures and Harry immediately relaxed, feeling his muscles loosen. He was able to pose naturally as opposed to looking like a statue all because of Louis' nearby presence. Halfway through the shoot they had a wardrobe change and hair touch-up before they were put back on the set for another hour. By the time they were done and getting into the car Harry collapsed onto Louis' lap from exhaustion.

"I'm dead," He said, too tired to even comb the insane amount of product from his nicely quiffed hair. "How do you stand doing this every day?"

"It's not every day, love. I just figured we could kill two birds with one stone." Louis said, tracing Harry's jaw delicately. "But there is one more thing we have planned."

Harry looked up at Louis and whined. Louis chuckled and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"I promise it's not all posh. It's simple, I think you'll like it."

"Does it require any walking?" Harry moaned. "I don't think I can take another step. Please tell me it's sleeping."

"No, it's not sleeping, Hazza." Louis pushed Harry's head back down on his lap, stroking his hair soothingly. "It's a surprise."

Harry made a noise of protest. For a long time it was quiet in the car and he was half asleep, mind wandering, when a thought came to mind.

"Louis."

"Hm?"

"I just noticed something."

"What's that?" Louis' hand stopped stroking his hair.

"You never call me curly anymore. You used to all the time back when we first got together."

Louis smiled and started lightly massaging Harry's temples. "Do you want me to still call you that?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't care, I just remembered."

Louis chuckled. "Well okay, curly."

Harry grinned and felt the car stop. He propped himself up and ducked out the window, seeing they were in front of a restaurant. Nicholas jumped out of the front seat to open the door for them. Louis held onto Harry's hand as they slid out of the car and Nicholas shut the door. Phil drove away and Harry looked up then to Louis.

"You didn't have to take me out, you know."

Louis squeezed his hand. "It's the least I could do."

Harry smiled, not only because he appreciated Louis for the wonderful person he was but also he was utterly in love with the fool. Everything Louis did was because he wanted Harry to have a good time or to simply be happy. Louis never had to come back to the bakery, he never buy a plane ticket, he never had to suggest writing songs together, he never had to invite Harry to his home for Christmas, he never had to do any of those things, yet he did, all because he wanted Harry to be happy. And now standing in front of a fun, quirky restaurant with snow flurries swirling around them, Harry wanted nothing more than to hug him for everything he's done.

They were led inside the restaurants and ordered white wine and an overly priced poached salmon salad and enjoyed the serene atmosphere. No one recognized them or bothered them and Harry had sufficiently relaxed, talking with Louis about things of the past and things that made them laugh now but were mortifying then, such as when they gave each other their first drunken hand job and how awkward it was after that. Harry choked on his wine a few times from laughing too hard about the time he broke the vase in the story and the French lady yelled at him. Louis then proceeded to re-tell the clubbing incident and how jealous it made him but was glad Harry still belonged to him.

By the time they were finished eating and had their coats were zipped up, they were blinded the moment they stepped through the door. Paparazzi surrounded them and Harry clutched to Louis' arm. His eyes were wide, frantically searching for Nicholas. He could hardly hear his own thoughts above the noises and voice recorders being shoved in their faces. Louis snapped at a reporter who tugged on Harry's coat, and finally Nicholas emerged from the mass of cameras, waving at them.

He grabbed a hold of them and pushed the paparazzi away, leading them into the car before Phil peeled out from the sidewalk. Harry's chest was heaving and Louis held him protectively, brushing snow from his hair.

"Are you okay, love?"

Harry blinked, still shell-shocked, and looked over at Louis. "Yeah, but are you? I saw you got elbowed in the face."

Louis shrugged, lightly touching his cheek. "It's no big deal, it's happened before. I'm just more worried about you."

Nicholas turned around, his expression apologetic. "I'm so sorry. Word must've gotten out; by the time I was heading to the door you two were already surrounded." His gaze fixated through the back window and Louis and harry turned around. There were at least four cars trailing them and Louis groaned, burying his face into his hands.

"This is so fucking annoying," He said, turning back around then sitting dejectedly in his seat. He looked to Harry. "I'm so sorry."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's okay. It's part of your job, it's no big deal."

Louis sighed, holding onto the door handle as Phil maneuvered through traffic. "We might be a while, you might want to tell the others what happened."

Harry pursed his lips but nodded, dialing Niall. He explained what happened and that they might be back a little later, and Niall simply told him to be safe. He hung up and it was a good thirty minutes of driving through southeast London before the cars seemed to cease. Louis let out a relieved breath and they drove back to their hotel, collapsing onto the couch the second they got back in the suite. Liam, Sophia, and Niall emerged from one of the rooms.

"You guys okay?" Liam asked. They simply groaned. They hadn't taken their coats or shoes off yet and were too exhausted to even think of doing any more physical movement. Nicholas was in a heated conversation on the phone whereas Phil sat on the coffee table and held his hand out for their feet.

"You'll catch a cold." He said simply. Louis stubbornly threw his foot in Phil's lap and he took his shoes off along with Harry's, taking their coats from them. He hung them up on the coat rack and talked with Nicholas for a minute before turning back to Louis.

"Louis, do you have anything planned tomorrow?"

"No."

"Okay. We'll be on standby." He said, both of them leaving the five to their suite. Niall went over and sat next to them on the couch, gently rubbing Harry's leg.

"You okay, Haz?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired." He sat up, yawning and leaning on Niall's shoulder. "Never become famous. It's a trap."

"That must've been scary being chased like that." Liam sat on the couch diagonal from them. "Don't paparazzi have to be called to take pictures?"

Louis' eyes shot open. He slowly sat up and stared at the four of them, his eyes completely void of any emotion, and buried his hands in his face.

"I'll be right back. Harry, will you make some tea or something?" Louis stood up and fixed his shirt as he quickly shuffled out of the room. They all watched him curiously and Harry heaved himself onto his feet, avoiding his wet shoes and coat and went to the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Niall asked. Harry shrugged.

"He's probably going to talk to Phil."

Niall cast a glance to the door.

XxX

Louis marched over to the room his bodyguards were in and knocked, waiting for the door to open before barging in.

"My agent called the fucking paps?"

"He didn't know Harry was with you," Nicholas said carefully, "he thought it was Eleanor."

Louis glared at him before scoffing and sitting at the table. He let his head fall onto his arms and Phil handed him a Benadryl and a glass of water.

"Please tell me this isn't going to ruin everything." Louis whined, poking the cup.

"As long as you stay on the down-low tomorrow I'm sure everything will be fine." Nicholas said, taking off his suit coat. "You and Harry were at the studio today so it's okay that you were seen together. You might need to go out with Eleanor tomorrow though."

Louis groaned and took a drink, swallowing the pill with it. Today had been such a great day and it had to go and be ruined by his agent. He guessed allegedly being spotted with a tall brunette was enough for Mr. Walter to assume it was Eleanor and to call the paps for publicity, so it was only natural that he would. But now that it was revealed to be Harry he was sure to get a phone scolding within the next morning saying about how careless he was being and for not getting permission. Well frankly, Louis didn't give a damn.

"This sucks." He said, finishing the last of the water. Phil took the cup from him and rinsed it before setting it in the sink. "Why can't I just have a normal day in London without having to worry about Harry all the time? I just want to walk down the street without people chasing and bugging me for a picture every five seconds. What happened to turning something I love doing into a chore?"

Nicholas shrugged, sitting across the table from him diagonally. "That's just how it is, that's why it our job to keep you safe. Which, again, I'm sorry for earlier."

Louis let out a long breath and rested his head on the table. It felt cool and relaxing, unlike his brain that was overwhelmingly active to be legal at such a late time of the night. He just wanted to crawl in bed next to Harry and never wake up again with any responsibilities. Whoever said being twenty was the best age was lying.

"If Mr. Walter calls us we'll tell you." Phil said, sitting next to Nicholas. "Don't worry about it. Go be with Harry and his friends."

Louis lifted his head to glare. "You say that like they're not my friends too."

His bodyguards stared at him quietly. Louis huffed, though there was a hint of amused mock behind it. "Whatever, I have Harry!"

Nicholas chuckled. "That's all you need."

Louis popped his head back in the door. "Thanks you guys for always looking out for me even if it is your job. I appreciate it, I really do." Before they had time to reply, he shut the door and strolled back to his suite, feeling much better about the situation. Even if it was still bugging him in the back of his mind he had no time to think about it when he was greeted with the smell of oolong tea. Ah, he just wanted to kiss Harry. So he did.

"Smells wonderful." He said. Harry smiled.

"Everything alright?"

"'Course," He replied, pouring himself a cup. It warmed his hands and he clinked glasses with Harry before taking a sip. It traveled down his throat and he relished in the feeling. So what if he had to go out with Eleanor tomorrow, he'd worry about that later. Right now, he was content and wanted to enjoy spending time with Harry.

After their tea they retired to their bed in just pajama pants, tracing the outline of each other's body and languidly grinding against each other, too tired to actually make out. So far, they'd only gone as far as hand jobs and Louis wasn't sure if they'd ever go all the way. It'd been three months since they got together yet it seemed like time was flying by. Soon Harry would be eighteen and Louis could finally take him places legally. Then the next thing they'd know Harry would be graduating and officially off to college while Louis' career would be flourishing. Everything seemed to be falling into place and Louis couldn't be happier.

Louis poked Harry's dimples when he smiled up at him. He raised his eyebrow.

"What was that for?"

"You're just really cute." Louis said. Harry wanted to combust with joy but contained himself. Instead, he grinned largely and snuggled closer to Louis.

"You are too."

They both settled into bed under the covers, Harry's back to Louis' chest and fell asleep.

XxX


	26. Chapter 26

XxX

The next day had been filled with lazing around, watching stupid reality TV shows and ordering room service every hour just to get another ice cream sundae. Louis and Harry were passed out on the couch with Liam and Sophia on the other when Louis' phone rang on the coffee table. He slowly sat up not to disturb Harry from his sleep and reached over to pick it up and answer. It was Phil, saying Mr. Walter needed Louis to make an appearance with Eleanor. Louis' jaw aligned and he said he'd be right over before carefully climbing over Harry and stopping in his tracks when he saw Niall leaning against the doorframe of his room.

"Where ya headed?"

"No where," He said, and then realized how suspicious that sounded. "just work related. I'll be right back, if Hazza wakes up will you tell him I'll be gone for a bit?"

Niall eyed him curiously before pushing off of the doorframe and stood a few inches away, barely towering above him. Behind his irises there was a burning flame just ready to engulf Louis whole.

"If you hurt Harry in any way," He paused for an added effect, "I won't hesitate to ruin your life."

"Duly noted." Louis deadpanned, looking at his invisible watch. "Can I go now? Unlike you, I have a job."

He pushed past Niall but he grabbed Louis' wrist, torqueing it so he couldn't move. Louis glared at his grip then to him.

"What's your problem?"

"My problem? My problem is that you treat everything like a game." Niall said darkly. "You know I know."

Louis felt his eyes tremble. The way Niall was looking at him was unsettling and frankly he wanted to flee as quickly as possible. Niall was overanalyzing everything – props to being in love with his best friend – but he had to stop pegging all the blame on Louis. They were human, they both messed up, of course their relationship wasn't perfect. They were going to make mistakes and yell at each other and break up and get back together and do it all over again, that's just how it worked in life. Louis yanked his wrist out of Niall's grip and held it to his body protectively.

"You only think you know." He said haughtily, grabbing his coat and walking out the door. Niall inhaled deeply before looking to Harry, wondering how someone as kindhearted as him ever got trapped in such a dysfunctional relationship.

XxX

Louis pressed a hard kiss to Harry's lips before stepping into the limo. After making a public appearance with Eleanor two days ago, he promptly snuck back into the room. Harry had just woken up and thought Louis had been talking to Phil – which he later learned Niall had given him that excuse but not without sending him a look of pure hatred and a clear message of "you owe me" – and he took the excuse without a second thought and drank tea with Harry, Liam, and Sophia. Niall stayed in his room.

He was headed to the New Years party and everything was set up perfectly. He had specifically brought the three stooges to distract Harry while he made his appearance at the front entrance with Eleanor. He didn't want them to come, but if he wanted his plan to work, then that was the only way it would. Once that was done with, Zayn and Perrie would distract Eleanor so he could ditch her and spend the rest of the night with Harry. He was supposed to pick Eleanor up at her hotel, which he told Harry he simply wanted the initial paparazzi to die down so security wouldn't be as tight and Nicholas could sneak all of them in. It was an ingenious plan and he couldn't believe he'd actually pull it off. He had Phil and Nicholas on his side and his agent still had caught no wind that Harry and his friends were going to be at the party. Louis wanted to keep it that way.

The most worrisome thing was if Harry and Eleanor happened to run into each other and Harry recognized her. Throughout their months of endless hours together Louis had learned to appreciate as well as hate Harry's acute memory for both faces and facts. If Harry saw Eleanor it would be the end and he would be sent into a downward spiral of doubt of their relationship – again, might he add. They hadn't argued since Christmas, which was a new record. Go them.

The past few days his distraction tactics had worked so far. Harry hadn't questioned him once since they'd been in London and it was honestly the most enjoyable time Louis had spent with him yet. France had been awkward, Prague was a mess, they'd always been interrupted during the span of Christmas but now they seemed to have things figured out. It was about time; that was the whole point of the New Year. Louis was getting bored and he didn't want to be; he had to keep marking small incentives for himself to keep their relationship alive. They were only just starting to venture down the physical intimacy side, which Louis was looking forward to very much.

The limo came to a halt in front of the hotel Eleanor was staying at. The doorman of the hotel opened the car door and Louis stepped out, offering a hand to Eleanor.

"You look lovely." He said, looking her up and down. She did look nice but he was still looking forward to seeing Harry more. He kissed her softly and had to resist the urge to cringe.

"You do too." She said. They got in the limo and Eleanor crossed her legs towards him, his hand resting on her thigh, sipping some water provided from the limo service. They pulled away from the front and Louis checked his watch he'd bought specifically for tonight. If he wanted things to go as planned he couldn't miss a single digit. His phone would be a hassle to constantly pull in and out of his pocket so he kept it classy.

"I heard Zayn is going to be there." Eleanor said, "will Perrie be there too?"

"Of course. Wherever Zayn is Perrie isn't far behind." Louis answered, looking around the interior of the car. It was fancy indeed, there were lights lined around the corners that changed from pastel pink all the way to the color of blue cotton candy and he rather liked it. There was a mini wine bar that had bottles sitting in a bucket of ice. As tempting as it was to pop open a cork, he didn't want to drink prematurely until the main episode of the plan was done; he had to be fully alert until he could let himself go.

He looked at his watch again. Harry was scheduled to come forty-five minutes after the party started, that way all the fashionably late people could get their fill of attention before blending in with the rest of the party. He internally huffed, just wanting tonight to be over with so he could be with Harry. Eleanor was just getting in the way.

They pulled up to the magnificent mansion where giant lights were lined up the stairs along with a carpet. The paparazzi were lined up on the sides and Louis took in a deep breath. This entire ride had been him mentally preparing himself for tonight and he'd taken an extra pill just for an extra kick. He smirked to himself, he felt prepared.

"You ready?" He asked Eleanor. She nodded and once the door was open they stepped out. He immediately heard shutters and held out a hand for Eleanor. She took it and gracefully stepped out of the car, holding up one corner of her sparkly blue dress . They walked up the steps hand-in-hand and Louis had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't Harry. It was Eleanor, and he had to act a certain way when he was with her. They stopped at each division of steps to pose for pictures until continuing. Even though this was a New Years party it was still all about the appearance and prestige.

They gave the doorman their information and Louis stole a glance at the list for Harry's name. He didn't see it and cursed when Eleanor pulled him through the door, eager to get out of the hundreds of camera lenses.

Inside there were tons of people and celebrities alike dancing, some grinding, some twerking, in the middle of the floor. Not one person was without a drink in their hand and Louis felt an excitement bubble in his chest. Tonight was going to be fucking insane.

"Oh my gosh, Eleanor!" A girl squealed a few feet away, running up to them. Instinctively, Louis pulled Eleanor closer to him as the girl stopped in front of them. Eleanor smiled brightly and let go of Louis's grip, enveloping her in a hug. He crinkled his nose at the fact that he was actually the one invited and was inclined to bring Eleanor so she should feel damn privileged that she's even here and has the status she does today. Maybe it was the bitter, friendless, pre-alcoholic Louis talking, maybe it wasn't, he wasn't sure.

Louis backed away from the squealing girls praying that Harry and his clan would get here sooner. He could go look for Zayn alone, but he hasn't been spotted with Eleanor long enough to leave her. He fixed his shirt collar and plastered on his best fake smile and turned to their conversation.

"I haven't seen you in ages!" Eleanor said, jabbering about some girl stuff Louis didn't understand then she turned to him. "Meredith, this is my boyfriend Louis. Louis, this is Meredith, we met in Uni."

"Oh I know you! You're that new cutie everyone is talking about." She giggled, twirling her hair around her finger, attempting to be flirtatious. Louis masked his mocking laugh with a cough. Obviously this girl didn't know him very well.

"Nice to meet you, Meredith." He said in his most charming voice, bringing her hand up to his lips. Meredith's face turned bright red and she turned to Eleanor.

"You scored good! Where did you meet him?"

"Oh, let me tell you!" Eleanor exclaimed, taking Meredith's hand and pulling her to a different part of the room. Louis blinked, quite taken aback, and looked at his watch. Well, that was a lot easier than expected.

He pulled out his phone in hopes of any updates. He smiled when he saw he had a text from Zayn.

From: ZZ

Perrie and I are coming soon. Where are u?

To: ZZ

Entrance. El ditched me already. This is turning out to be easier than i expected

From: ZZ

Hah just wait until harry gets there. Shits gonna go down!!!

To: ZZ

Thats only if they run into each other. I have this so elaborately set up that it would be impossible for that to happen. If worst comes to worst ill have Nicholas distract el with card tricks again in her drunk stupor

From: ZZ

I wish u all the luck with that one. I dont want to be stuck in the front with all the paps so meet me in the backyard. Ill be with Perrie.

To: ZZ

Ok :D

Louis had a bounce in his step as he walked past the dance floor to the backyard. It was amazing how happy and carefree he felt when he was either alone or with Harry. Speaking of which, he looked at his watch again. Only two minutes had passed by and he huffed. This was going to be the longest forty-five minutes of his life. He stopped on the outskirts of the dance floor and scanned across the mass of faces. He didn't recognize anyone and it made him feel a lonely ache in his chest. He missed Harry.

He grabbed a shot as a waiter passed by with one, downing it and setting it on the table of punch. It would be so easy for someone to spike the punch so he doesn't even know why they would have a bowl just sitting out like that, he'd definitely make a mental note to avoid it at all costs.

Once he was outside, he took in the atmosphere. Drunk people everywhere, some standing on the grass, others in the pool regardless of the low degree weather, some in mass groups having a drinking competition and some completely naked. He recoiled at the sight of them and ducked his head as he walked past their nude glory until he found Zayn surrounded by a group of girls with Perrie attached to his side. His face lit up, cutting in between two girls.

"Zayn!" He exclaimed, and Zayn's face immediately brightened. They hugged and all the girls around them let out an "aww".

"How'd you manage to sneak past me?" He asked, lightly slapping Zayn's arm. They migrated out of the circle and Zayn chuckled, taking a swig of his drink he brought for himself. That was smart, Louis can't believe he didn't think of doing that. He'd have to rely on the cheap whisky and run the risk of his drink getting spiked because of his lack of alcoholic beverage. Oh well, there were more important things for him to worry about.

"Perrie and I have gotten quite good at it." He said, taking a drink. He offered it to Louis and he took it graciously. It was fruity, almost like a spin off of a strawberry daiquiri. Louis was about to give him shit for it until he noticed Perrie's dress. It was white patterned with lavender flowers and her platinum hair was curled.

"Well don't you look lovely!" Louis said, the alcohol already taking effect. He could feel the way his brain was buzzing and his fingers felt a little numb. He couldn't drink anymore until Harry came.

"Thank you." Perrie did a small curtsey. "Where's your man at?"

"My man?" Louis grinned at the title, handing the drink back to Zayn and holding a hand to his chest. "My man is on his way with the three stooges. His best friends Niall, Liam, and his girlfriend Sophia came too."

Zayn raised an eyebrow and Louis already knew what the look meant. "Yes, I have friends, technically they're not mine because one third of them hates me, but it still counts."

Zayn scoffed and took a drink then glanced at Perrie. Louis was suddenly reminded that he wasn't the only one who had a plan tonight; a few days prior while he was going through the juicy details of his plan to Zayn on the phone Zayn mentioned that he was going to propose. Of course this sent Louis into a fit of questions and Zayn wouldn't spill anything other than he had the ring and was going to do it at the New Years party and Louis better be there to witness it or he'd have his head. Louis was going to have to keep that tidbit in the back of his mind to stay within a twenty-foot distance of Zayn so he could watch them at all times.

"This place is huge! I can't believe someone would live here." Perrie said.

"Well, if we get married we can have a house like this." Zayn said. If he was going to do it now then Louis' camera was definitely prepared.

Perrie pushed him away, laughing. "No way, I want a small house. Something this huge isn't my style."

Zayn looked a bit put-off and Louis didn't blame him. He was probably freaking out so bad internally but playing it off cool. No wonder he had the strawberry daiquiri rip off, back when they weren't so famous they would go drinking all the time and that's what Zayn would drink to relieve stress. Louis missed those days when things were simpler and he wasn't forced to date someone he hated and hide his other relationship.

"So where's Eleanor?" Zayn asked, seemingly over his previous irking.

"With her friend Meredith." Louis rolled his eyes at the mention of her friend. He looked at his watch again. Thirty-seven minutes.

"Eleanor is here?" Perrie asked. Louis nodded disinterested. "Oh, well I'm going to go find her then, I haven't seen her in a while. I'll be back, Zayn." She kissed him quickly and walked off, Zayn smiling as he watched her leave. His eyes scanned up and down her body and Louis finally looked up and nudged him, a hopeless look on his face.

"Dude, you've got it bad."

Zayn simply laughed and looked to the ground. "I hope everything goes out the way I'd hoped, it would be humiliating if she said no."

"Come onnnn," Louis said, "with your looks there's no way someone could resist you. Hell, if I weren't your best friend I'd go gay for you."

"Thanks, Louis." Zayn said, his tone mocking. He took another drink and Louis snatched the bottle from him. He looked at Louis inquisitively. "Are you going to get hammered before midnight?"

Louis shook his head as he dropped the bottle from his lips. Screw waiting for Harry. "No, time is just moving too damn slow and I want it to hurry up."

Zayn laughed and stole the bottle back from Louis.

"So you never did tell me why you took Perrie to France." Louis said.

"Oh, right." Zayn and him moved from out of the cold into the warmer house even though it was blasting music, "I told you she broke up with me, right?"

Louis nodded.

"Yeah, so after we'd been back together for a few weeks I noticed she was a little distant and wasn't talking to me. I know her home life has been kind of stressful so I wanted to take her somewhere she could just get away for a while. Turns out you were in France the same time as me which was a coincidence." He smiled.

Louis laughed. "No kidding. So has she talked to you yet?"

Zayn gave a half-hearted shrug. "Well, yeah, but she always says everything is fine when I feel like it's not.

"Maybe you're over thinking it." Louis said, snatching a glass of wine from a waiter walking past. He was so going to regret this in the morning. "Maybe you're the girl in this relationship."

Zayn scrunched his nose and finished off the bottle. If he was done drinking then Louis had to be too or else he would be inhibited before Harry even got here. He wanted to see the look on Harry's face when he walked in and saw the interior and fancy decorations and all the celebrities and when Louis started showing his moves on the dance floor. That's what he was looking forward too most was a slow dance with Harry. It was a slim possibility but he wanted to make it happen. He looked at his watch again. Thirty-four minutes.

"Why does time pass so slowly?" He whined.

"Go get more pictures with Eleanor before you go MIA." Zayn pushed him towards the crowd of people. "When he gets here I'll cover for you as long as I can but there's only so much I can do."

Louis slapped his arm. "Thanks, Zayn, you're a pal." He walked past the dance floor and looked around, searching for the only cause of his unhappiness. He might as well distract himself with her until Harry got here. This had to be the most agonizing wait of his life.

When he spotted Eleanor, he was about to give her an earful about leaving him so soon in the party, but a hand clasped his shoulder. He turned; ready to give the person a piece of his mind, but all the words escaped his mouth and the color drained from his face.

"Nick."

"Louis, it's been a while!" He said cheerfully. Judging by the way his speech was already slurring he was completely intoxicated. It wasn't even an hour into the party either, how pathetic. "I didn't know you were going to be here!"

"Yeah, funny." He forced out a laugh, his brain spinning in circles. Shit, this was definitely not part of the plan; he had no idea Nick was going to be here. The only part of his past Zayn didn't know about and he couldn't explain it in one sentence over a text, he was going to have to keep an eye on Nick himself while trusting Zayn to distract Eleanor and keep Harry a safe distance away at the same time. Tonight was turning into his worst nightmare.

"You still remember–" Nick stopped and his eyes closed before they snapped open again. "–the X Factor?"

Louis sneered. How could he forget? The one thing he still hadn't made total amends with and had Harry questioning relentlessly about the entire week. Luckily, he dropped Christmas Day and hadn't brought it up since but Louis knew for a fact it was still on Harry's mind, he was just pushing the topic away every time it came up. At this point in time he wouldn't mind if Eleanor were to come and sweep him off his feet, he was trembling in his shoes.

"Of course." He answered, glancing around for any potential distract before making the quickest beeline to find Eleanor. Where the hell was she? He needed some more damn pictures before Harry got here; he was running out of time.

"Louis!" Louis almost fell to his knees in relief when he heard Eleanor's voice among the noise. He plastered a smile to his face and stopped her before she came face to face with Nick, because that was a story he didn't want to explain to her either. She didn't know about Nick but Nick definitely knew about Eleanor.

"I finally found you! Let's go dance, shall we?" He held out his arm and dragged her away before she could protest. He cast a glance back to Nick to see him glowering. Okay, maybe he wasn't as inhibited as Louis thought he was, but that was all right because he was going to avoid Nick all night anyway. He already had enough to deal with tonight just with Harry and Eleanor and Zayn's proposal and most likely trying to avoid getting impaled with a shot glass by Niall. Everything was fine, there was no need for him to start freaking out just yet.

They got on the dance floor and Louis danced for a bit and let Eleanor do her thing. In the midst of the Cha Cha Slide he checked his watch. Twenty-four minutes, why was time taking so damn long?

He got mixed up with the Electric Slide and the Cupid Shuffle – the stupid, overplayed American songs that somehow made it to Britain – and had to sneak away for another drink. Nick was nowhere in sight but Zayn was chatting up some nice looking man who looked like a spin off of Leonardo DiCaprio. Lucky son of a bastard, Louis would have to give him shit for that later and give Zayn the nickname "Rose" and tell him to jump for his forbidden love because he was an engaged man. Louis wondered if he'd already had too much to drink.

All he remembered in his pre-arrival of Harry haze was that some Miley Cyrus and Ice Cube mashup played and there was dirty dancing everywhere. Another person smashed some cake onto the floor making people slip and it caused a huge domino effect of tumbling celebrities. Out of all of the clubs Louis had been to none of them were that messy, he eventually had to escape and sit down to take a breather. This party seemed to be dragging on for ages and he didn't know how much longer he could stand it.

The next time he looked at his watch he was rewarded with five minutes. He must be blessed having to not come in contact with Nick or Eleanor for almost half an hour, but at the same time it was worrisome. If Nick were to tell Eleanor anything about the X Factor then he'd be doomed on both sides. Once again, Nick would ruin his life and Eleanor would only make it worse. He had to find them both before Harry showed up so he could plan accordingly. He sent a text to Zayn to find Eleanor and headed to the front.

Most of the paparazzi had left, only a few stragglers but they were being ushered out by the security. Good, Louis needed them all gone before Harry could arrive. His name wasn't out there enough for him to be recognized as worthy to come to the party, and the fact that his name was only affiliated with Louis would give him a bad reputation if he were to be caught. Louis was putting so much on the line tonight but he didn't care, he just wanted to have one fun night with Harry.

He peered out the window. There was still no sign of Harry. His watch said nine-forty-five, so where was he? Usually Nicholas was very punctual so did something happen? Did they get caught in traffic? Louis backed away from the window and found a waiter, taking a shot before downing it. He had to stop over thinking before he went insane. He could admit he was starting to panic a bit with the unexpected presence of Nick just looming over his shoulder.

Someone touched his arm lightly and he was about to deliver a swift blow to their throat before he stopped. He spun around and Harry stood in front of him, smiling all dopey and charming and all Harry-like. Niall, Liam, and Sophia were standing behind him patiently but Louis didn't care about them. He felt the air leave his lungs and had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't hallucinating before he hugged Harry tightly, not caring at that particular moment if someone snapped a picture.

"When the hell did you get here?" He asked, pulling away and looking Harry up and down. He was in a patterned heart dress shirt and slacks Louis had bought him a few days ago. It made him grin proudly.

"Just barely," Harry said, raising his voice above the loud music. He eyed the shot in Louis' hand. "Drinking already?"

Louis looked down at his hand and set the empty shot on a waiter's tray as they walked by. "Maybe, it was boring here without you!"

Harry smiled and Louis felt like all the alcohol was draining out of his system. The thought of a New Years party was much better than the reality, now that he had been here for almost an hour surrounded by people he hated and terrible pop music he just wanted to go back to the suite and cuddle until they fell asleep in each others arms eating leftover sushi and burning their nostrils with wasabi. That sounded much more ideal than being here, but Louis knew what he got himself into and he had to stick with it. There was only three hours until midnight; he could make it until then.

Louis went to interlace his fingers with Harry but he immediately recoiled, and Louis remembered they were in public. Right, things would've been awkward if Harry hadn't stayed alert. They'd clearly defined that they couldn't show any public affection; Harry just pegged it as Louis not wanting to disclose their relationship to the public. Sure, he'd go with that.

"Er, right, want a drink?" Louis stole a shot from a tray and Harry shook his head.

"Um, I'll pass."

"Thanks." Niall took the shot from Louis and downed it, wiping his mouth off with no remorse. Louis deadpanned at him and Liam and Sophia covered their mouths to suppress their giggles. Apparently Niall had a death wish tonight, he should even be glad he was at the fucking party because Louis only invited him for the plan. Other than that Louis couldn't care less if Niall was stranded in a ditch away from him and Harry.

Harry pushed between them. "He's, uh, a bit eager to drink." He coughed awkwardly, wrapping his arm around Louis' and tugging him away from his friend. They were still glaring at each other and Harry forced Louis to look at him. "Hey, stop it."

Louis scoffed. He didn't want to fight tonight; he already had a ton on his plate and wasn't going to let Niall add to it. "Fine, but only for you. Let's go find Zayn."

Louis watched carefully for any sign of Nick or Eleanor as they walked past the dance floor and back outside where Zayn was in another big group. Louis broke into the center of the circle, hugging Zayn tightly.

"Oh thy dearest Zayn, how thy art hath missed thine beautiful face!" He caressed Zayn's cheek and he shoved Louis off, laughing.

"You're so drunk." He looked to Harry and pulled him in for a hug. "Good to see you again! It's been a while."

"Yeah," Harry said, he then looked to the group. "Hello everyone." He said, making all the girls giggle and Louis rolled his eyes. Harry was always so charming it was almost a downfall. The three broke from the group to talk amongst themselves. Louis was looking over his shoulder like a hawk the entire time in case Nick decided to pop out of the bushes. It was like Harry was a rare gem and Louis was protecting him from all the filth in the world.

"Where's Perrie?" Harry asked.

"With El–" Zayn cleared his throat and corrected his mistake, "–a friend."

Fortunately Harry didn't seem to notice his slip up and nodded. He was too busy looking around the large yard and watching all the crazy drunk people. Louis subconsciously rested his hand on Harry's lower back. He was so on edge and hopefully Harry wouldn't notice; he needed to get Harry drunk so his perceptive skills were dulled.

"Here," Louis handed Harry a drink from a tray, "the occasion calls for it."

Harry looked at him expectantly then caved, taking a drink from the glass. He scrunched his nose as it burned down his throat but continued to drink it. Good.

"Let's go dance," Louis said, knowing that Harry's tolerance was below average so it wouldn't take him long to get hammered. Harry nodded and Louis gave Zayn a look before guiding him back inside. He handed Harry another shot and he drank it slowly. Not quite the purpose of a shot, but oh well.

"I'm not much of a dancer," Harry said, his words beginning to blend into each other. Louis searched for any sign of Eleanor or Nick before pushing into the crowd, clutching onto Harry's wrist. He wasn't going to have a rerun of Prague again.

"Sure you are! Just keep drinking and it gets easier." Louis patted his back and Harry scowled at the drink before begrudgingly downing the rest. Louis smiled. "Good lad!"

An arm suddenly wrapped around Harry's and tugged him into the crowd, whisking him away from Louis. He was about to punch the culprit in the face but then realized it was Niall, pint in his hand and face flushed. He was clearly intoxicated so Louis wasn't going to kill him quite yet.

Eventually, Zayn joined them and Liam did too once he spotted Niall and Harry. Sophia wasn't in sight, so the five boys let themselves loose and caused ruckus throughout the whole crowd. They laughed as they were pushed and toppled over people. Harry and Louis wrapped themselves around each other and everything in motion seemed to halt as they held each other tight. People were jumping all around them, yelling and spilling their drinks but all they could see was one another. Louis stared into Harry's glossy green eyes and began to lean forward but Louis was suddenly ripped away from Harry.

"Eleanor." Zayn said in his ear, taking Louis' place and turning Harry around. He pushed Harry and Niall together and Louis had to resist strangling him until he turned around and saw Eleanor on the outskirts of the dance floor, straining on her tip toes. Louis pushed passed all the drunken people and tripped at the end, falling to his knees in front of Eleanor and Perrie. They looked surprised and he quickly stood up, brushing himself off.

"Hello ladies," He said, trying to be as casual as possible, "how is the party?"

"I thought you said you weren't going to drink." Eleanor said, clearly displeased but Perrie was snickering.

"I said no such thing!" He was appalled. He may be more than a little tipsy but he never recalled ever saying something like that because that would definitely be a promise he couldn't keep, hence why he didn't say it.

Eleanor glared at him and then huffed. "We're going to the powder room." She turned around dramatically and stormed off, Perrie trailing after her. Louis rolled his eyes.

"We're going to the powder room," He mocked, pitching his voice higher to imitate Eleanor's.

He swore he saw Nick's stupid hairstyle in the crowd and ducked behind the punch table, crouching as he watched through the punch bowl. Nick walked right past Harry without sparing a glance. Luckily neither of them knew what the other looked like so that was the only upside, Louis just hoped they would never come to find that out. Eleanor was too busy doing girl stuff so Louis didn't have to worry about her for now.

He saw Zayn dragging Niall off the dance floor and raised an eyebrow, making his way over to them. He thought he felt some alcohol spill on his shirt but right now he didn't care, his senses were already overloaded and he was wondering what the fuck happened. Niall was sat down on one of the couches and Harry was crouched down at his knee, touching it tentatively.

"What happened?" Louis asked, raising his voice above the music. Zayn craned his neck to look for Eleanor.

"Niall jumped too high and landed wrong." Harry said. "He's already gotten surgery on it twice so it's a little weak."

"It's not a big deal, I'm fine!" Niall protested, attempting to stand up but Zayn pushed him back down. Niall glared at him. "It doesn't hurt!"

"If you try to move I'll make sure it does." Zayn snapped, making Niall shut his mouth. Liam shook his head hopelessly.

"We're not going to fight about Niall's knee now, are we?" He ran a hand through his short hair. Harry grinned.

"I actually don't think you all know each other. Zayn, this is Niall," Harry gestured to his friend, who was acting like a petulant child who just got punished, "and Liam. Guys this is Zayn, Louis' best friend."

Louis slung an arm over Zayn's shoulders, flashing a grin. "The one and only!"

"We know who you are." Niall said. Louis narrowed his eyes and took a step forward, sucking on his teeth and clasping his hands together.

"I'm sorry, but, who invited you again?"

"Harry, actually, since you never called me directly." He gave Louis a challenging smile and Harry rolled his eyes.

"Just stop it you two. I thought you agreed not to fight!"

Louis glared at him. "I'm not–"

"Oh, would you look at the time?" Zayn suddenly exclaimed, putting his hands on Louis' shoulders. "Time for you to go get me a drink, run along now." Zayn swiveled Louis around and shoved him in the opposite direction. He caught the skeptical look Liam was giving him but ignored it as he spotted Eleanor storming towards him. Nick was also coming his way from the other direction and he panicked. He had to deal with Eleanor first since she was more of a current problem so he walked towards her. He sent a desperate look back to Zayn and he whispered something to Harry before jogging up next to Louis.

"Hello, dear," Louis said as Eleanor stopped right in front of him. Perrie smiled apologetically at them both.

"Where have you been all night?" She asked, crossing her arms.

Louis pursed his lips, deciding he actually would rather deal with Nick instead. "You know what, love, I think Zayn should take you for a spin, get you loosened up a bit. Is that alright, Perrie?"

Perrie went to speak but Eleanor cut her off. "No, Louis, I'm being serious! It's like you're avoiding me or something."

Louis wanted to laugh at how far away from the truth she was. Nick was right behind him now and he dismissed himself quickly before Eleanor could nag him some more and glanced at Harry, seeing that he was engrossed talking to Niall and Liam. Niall was talking animatedly with his hands, and, were those tears in his eyes? He must be an emotional drunk; Louis had no time to deal with him right now. Nick was staring down at him.

"You're skittish tonight." He said, his voice and demeanor even.

"Must be the alcohol," Louis said, looking behind to make sure Zayn was keeping Eleanor occupied. He was, and Perrie was watching them, but Eleanor still seemed annoyed. Oh well, she would get over it later. "can't blame me."

Nick looked past Louis' shoulder. "Is that Eleanor over there?"

Oh shit. Louis wrapped his arm around Nick's, glancing at Harry to make sure he still wasn't paying attention – and he wasn't – but Liam had a cautious eye on Louis. He quickly averted his gaze back in front of him, pretending like he didn't see him. Three out of the five were onto him, this was bad.

"No, no, just some chick Zayn found. You've heard he's bi, right?" Louis said, knowing fully well that he would get his nuts slapped for that. Zayn most definitely was not bisexual but desperate measures called for bullshit lies. Apparently the distraction tactic seemed to work.

"Really?" Nick raised an eyebrow, seeming to enjoy having Louis' arm wrapped around his a little too much. "I thought he was engaged to Perrie though."

Louis' steps faltered for a split second. Okay, maybe it hadn't worked as well as he'd hoped, but he covered it with a forced laugh. "Never heard of polyamorous?" Yep, Zayn was definitely going to kill him.

Nick seemed taken aback and Louis detached himself from Nick's arm, checking for Harry and Eleanor. They were both still distracted, good.

"So did you need something?" Louis asked, wanting to get away from his creepy gaze and badly styled hair. Seriously, it had been styled the same way since Louis was with him at the X Factor, he needed to move on already.

"Yes, actually. I just have a question." Nick said, grabbing a shot for both of them. He raised it in the air and Louis did too nervously.

"Ask away." He plastered a grin on his face, pretending to drink it but really threw it over his shoulder on the girl behind him. She squealed and glared at Louis but he kept looking at Nick. He didn't dare drink with Nick; he didn't know what could happen. Nick didn't seem to notice that he hadn't actually drank it. He looked to the floor, shuffling his feet a bit, then looked back at Louis.

"Who's Harry?"

XxX


	27. Chapter 27

XxX

Zayn was a good friend. No, he wasn't just a good friend; he was a damn good friend. He prided himself in this fact as he successfully sent his fiancé he was going to propose to in less than two hours and best friend's girlfriend off to scavenge information about the recent news of Shia LeBeouf's recent injury on set. He was the best friend anyone could have.

He looked around to see Louis talking to some guy, and Zayn didn't even know who but wasn't about to interrupt, and saw Liam and Harry still talking to Niall. He looked upset but Zayn hardly knew him so he couldn't tell whether he was or it was just the alcohol making his mind fuzzy.

Liam pulled out his phone and beckoned Harry to come with, leaving Niall by himself. Zayn frowned as he looked like a lost puppy sitting on the couch with no one to talk to. He glanced back at Louis to make sure he was still occupied and that Eleanor was nowhere in sight, and made his way through the crowd over to Niall.

He looked up as Zayn stood in front of him.

"Where'd Harry and Liam go?" Zayn asked.

"To find Liam's girlfriend, Sophia." He said. "Liam didn't want to get lost so he took Haz with him."

Zayn slowly sat down next to Niall, keeping a decent distance between them but not enough to be suspicious. Zayn wasn't a readable person but when there was a lot on his mind things tended to show and he got a little intense, and the last thing he wanted was for Niall to find out Louis was trying to hide Eleanor and Harry from each other. He assumed neither Niall nor Liam knew what she looked like so he didn't have to worry too much about them, it was if they met then it would become a problem.

"So Harry said you've had surgery before?" He asked, gesturing to Niall's knee. He might as well engage in some conversation to keep his mind off of the fifty different things he was supposed to watch for and give Niall some company since he was momentarily incapacitated.

"What?" Niall looked at him then at his legs, grinning. "Oh, yeah. Back when I used to play sports it hurt all the time so I had to wear a brace. Eventually I had to stop altogether or it wouldn't ever heal." He looked annoyed at the fact. "But Harry encouraged me to play my guitar more so that's all I mostly do now."

Zayn smiled. "I like guitar, I've never known how to play it though."

"It's great, a lot easier for me that's for sure." Niall said. "I've written a few songs but never done anything with them. I mostly write them and have Harry help me since they'd be of more use to him than me."

"Why do you say that?"

Niall shrugged. "He's the one with the famous boyfriend."

Zayn wasn't sure how to respond. He straightened his back and swallowed. It felt like with this topic he was walking on a minefield. "So...Louis told me a little bit about you, he said you like Harry?" He said it more as a question than a statement, but he figured he shouldn't assume and just ask him flat out so there wasn't a miscommunication. Louis has said more negative than positive things about Niall but Zayn wasn't going to mention that out loud.

Niall was quiet, his fingers lightly tapping on his thighs. "Yeah," He said eventually, "but I'm over it now. He has Louis so it's pointless."

"Why do you think it's pointless?"

Niall gave him a look. "I grew up with Harry, he's never felt the same way about me."

Zayn raised an eyebrow. "Well did you ever tell him?"

Niall opened his mouth but then closed it, mumbling quietly, "No."

Zayn couldn't help but let out an amused snort. "Then why are you complaining?"

Niall looked vexed. Judging by the way he wasn't saying anything meant he was at loss for words. Zayn smiled and nudged him lightly.

"I'm just saying. You can't get mad at him if he never knew."

Niall huffed. "Well he found out he was already with Louis. When he asked, and it's not like I could lie 'cause I'd been doing that my whole life."

Zayn crossed his legs and threw his arm over the back of the couch. "I think it's brave of you to stick with it even though it may not be what you want." Niall was looking over at him curiously now. "Having to watch your best friend go through all of this while you're stuck on the sidelines. It must be hard."

Niall shrugged. "Yeah, but he's is my best friend. I'd rather be miserable and have him happy than both of us unhappy."

Zayn gathered his thoughts before speaking. "Well I'd say if things weren't to work out between him and Louis he'd have a great friend to come back to." He smiled and Niall refused to meet his gaze.

Zayn took his hand off the couch and leaned forward on his knees, looking out at the crowd. There was still music blasting and drunken people dancing, and Zayn wondered how a simple New Years party turned into the biggest disaster of all time.

XxX

"Who's Harry?"

Louis froze, his empty shot dangling at the tip of his fingers and his brain on overdrive. What should he say? Should he try to avoid the question altogether? Pretend to faint and make a scene? He could admit he'd always been dramatic but he wasn't so sure that would work out in his favor. The last thing he wanted was to congregate Nick, Eleanor, and Harry all to the same place. That wouldn't be good.

He laughed forcefully and Nick cringed at the outburst. "He's just a friend. Why do you ask?"

"I think you've forgotten my job." Nick folded his arms. "I may have lost the X Factor to you but that didn't mean I dropped out completely, I'm a radio talk show host, so news about the music industry gets around fast. Of course I'm interested to hear about the little lad you've picked up off the streets to make an EP with you. Tell me, what makes him so special?"

Jealousy. It was as plain as day on Nick's face. He was indirectly asking why Louis chose Harry over him when Louis hadn't known him as long. Well, Nick certainly had a right to feel offended, but he most definitely didn't have a right to blame Harry.

"Well my dear Nick, we became friends without a bribe into bed." He stole a shot from a waiter walking by and drank it, giving him a cheeky smile. "That's why."

Nick looked infuriated. His fist was clenching his shot class and Louis had a feeling it was going to break. That would definitely cause a scene so Louis had to leave before that happened. He searched desperately for either Harry or Eleanor and happened to spot Eleanor and Perrie walking back to Zayn and Niall, and he put his hand on Nick's arm.

"I'd love to stay and chat but I have more important relationships to keep up." He grinned and tapped his chest lightly before pushing past him. Nick grabbed his wrist and flung him around, twisting the front of his shirt in his fist.

"You're a little bitch, Tomlinson." He hissed. "You seem to have forgotten going to bed with me was consensual."

Louis desperately pulled against his hand, trying to undo his fingers but to no avail. Nick was lifting him off his feet and he was doing his best not to draw attention to himself. He'd rather have Eleanor see this than Harry or it would lead to an outburst that couldn't be contained.

"It may have been consensual then but it never would be now." Louis said, his shirt cutting off his breathing. "It was a mistake, just leave it at that."

"That's not what you said back then!" Nick shook him and Louis closed his eyes, hoping this nightmare would end soon. "You said you loved me, what happened to that?"

"Nick, you're drunk. Just get over it already!" He shouted.

"Is that all I am to you now? A mistake?" Nick's grasp on his shirt loosened and Louis' feet could fully touch the ground. He looked at Zayn only to find him occupied talking to Niall. Liam, Eleanor, or Perrie were nowhere in sight and he had no idea where Phil and Nicholas had gone. "You willingly had sex with me then you dumped me for that whore! Let me guess, you're doing the same to Harry now, huh? He's your 'next best thing' because you're bored with Eleanor? Don't pretend like I don't know everything about you, Louis! You were the one who came to me crying about your low shitty confidence saying that no one would ever love you for who you were!"

"Nick, just stop!" Louis pushed against his chest, kicking and flailing but Nick was unmoved.

"Well you know what, no one will ever love you. You know why? Because of your stupid excuse for a disorder! It's not even real, when are you going to stop pretending–"

"Louis?"

Louis' heart skyrocketed to his throat and his and Nick's gaze snapped over simultaneously. Harry was standing with Liam and Sophia, his eyebrows clenched together and fingers wringing together. Nick turned from Harry to Louis then back to Harry. Harry looked like a small child who just witnessed his parents in a physical fight.

"Who are you?" Nick asked.

Harry blinked. "I'm–"

"No one," Louis interjected, turning back to Nick practically seething. "now get the fuck away from me."

Nick glared at Louis and dropped him to his feet. He stumbled back and Harry took him in his arms, giving Nick an accusatory stare.

Nick stormed off, throwing the shot glass to the ground and making it shatter. Louis clenched his teeth. It had taken so much self-control not to punch him into next week but Harry was here and they had to move before they drew even more attention to themselves.

"Louis, who was that?" Harry asked, clearly disturbed from seeing his boyfriend getting strangled. Louis raked his hands through his hair and fixed his collar.

"No one. Just a bloke who's had too many drinks." He said, too miffed to even come up with an elaborate lie. "Come on." He dragged Harry over to Zayn and pushed him down on the couch harder than intended. Zayn looked over and flinched when he saw Harry flung towards him.

"Easy, you only get one Harry." Zayn said, eyeing Louis suspiciously. "What just happened?"

"Nothing." Louis murmured, looking around the room. He was about to say something but then stopped when he heard his name being called. He clenched his fists. "I need a drink."

Harry went to stand up. "I'll come with you–"

"No, you won't." Louis said sternly, pushing Harry back down on the couch. "Stay here with Zayn. I'll be fine."

He frowned. "But–"

Louis was getting nowhere if he was going to seem irritated. He plastered the most convincing smile he could muster on his face. "Everything is fine, Harry. I promise." He smiled and kissed the tip of his fingers then patted Harry's cheek, spinning on his heel and catching Eleanor right before she came into Harry's line of vision.

"Hi," He was so out of breath it was like he'd been running a marathon all night. He saw Perrie walk past him in the corner of his eye, presumably to go find Zayn. Hopefully Zayn had kept her up to date with his plan about not exposing Eleanor's presence at the party to Harry. "How's your night going?"

Eleanor frowned. "I miss you."

He blinked. "I know."

She sighed and played with his fingers. "I just feel like you're avoiding me or something. You keep disappearing and you're acting so weird tonight and I–"

"Eleanor, love, calm down." Louis held her arms gently. He'd be damned if his girlfriend started freaking out on him now. He already had a crazy one-night-stand looming in the shadows; he didn't need a second one. "It's alright, I may have had a bit too much to drink, so I'm sorry."

Eleanor pursed her lips, lacing hers and Louis' fingers together. "It's okay. I just hardly know anyone here." She fiddled with her purse then looked back up. "I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier."

"No, no, it's my fault. I'm the one being weird, remember?" Louis said, and she giggled. He pulled her further into the crowd and away from Harry. "Forgive me?"

Eleanor smiled. "Of course." She leaned in to kiss him and Louis quickly made a face before meeting her lips. He had to make this as convincing as possible, so he drew her waist close to his body and when she finally seemed to relax, he pulled out his phone and opened one eye.

To: ZZ

PLAN B

Zayn texted back immediately.

From: ZZ

You so owe me.

XxX

It was nearing midnight and Louis felt like he was going insane. It was nearly impossible to check his phone every five minutes to get an update on Harry's location so he could move Eleanor accordingly. Even when he saw Nick he had to steer Eleanor in the other direction and pray that Zayn kept Harry hidden well enough in the crowd that they didn't run into each other. He was about to rip all his hair out from the stress.

He and Eleanor even got their pictures taken a few more times, which was good for the press. His agent would see the pictures and not freak out that a few days prior he had been seen with Harry. He was holding his phone in one hand and Eleanor's hand in the other when the device vibrated.

From: ZZ

He keeps asking where you are :/

Louis never wanted to punch himself in the face more.

To: ZZ

Tell him i got caught up in a drinking game and none of them will let me go

From: ZZ

Youve already pulled that excuse

To: ZZ

Ugh just change the subject then. Im just as miserable as he is

From: ZZ

Then leave !!!!

To: ZZ

Then you come distract her !!

From: ZZ

Be there in 5

Louis shut off his phone and resisted the urge to kick the leg of the table. This wasn't how he pictured the night to go at all. Nick had been a major problem and Eleanor was being more clingy than usual. Louis felt a migraine start to form.

"Love, I'm going to get a drink. Do you mind staying here?" Louis asked. Eleanor gave him a concerned look.

"Weren't you going to stop drinking?"

"El, it's the New Years. Please, just one more?" He jutted out his lip and she chuckled.

"Fine, I'll be right here."

"Good." He kissed her for good measure then ducked into the crowd, seeing Nick and Zayn simultaneously. He caught eyes with Zayn and nodded before dodging Nick and heading straight towards Harry. He was leaning against the table stirring his shot dejectedly.

When Harry looked up his face brightened. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Louis grinned. He felt so much better around Harry. "Where are the others?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Liam and Sophia were with Perrie last time I saw. I think Niall went with Zayn."

"How's his knee?" Louis caught Nick's stare and immediately pulled Harry in the other direction.

"It's fine now I think. I haven't seen him much tonight."

Louis was keeping Nick in his peripheral vision. He held his arm out and gestured to the stairs. "C'mon, lets go look downstairs. I think there's games down there."

Harry grinned and linked his arms with Louis. He glanced back at Nick who was flat out glaring and Louis snapped his gaze forward, a sinking feeling of anxiety settling in his stomach.

Zayn told him that Eleanor was now happily with Perrie and meeting Liam and Sophia, and Louis was content with that. As long as none of them mentioned Harry then she would have no idea, all of them were irrelevant anyway. That was the whole point he wanted to bring Harry's friends, so Zayn would have an excuse to have her socialize with new people and thus find them more interesting than Louis at the moment. Now that he was with Harry his apprehension was starting to ease away.

"Bet I can beat you in air hockey." Harry said as he eyed the empty table. Louis nudged him.

"You're on."

A few games and spilled shots later Louis and Harry were yelling and shouting whenever they claimed the other cheated or scored. Louis felt his phone buzz and he held the puck at his end of the table.

From: ZZ

E headed downstairs w P and S

Shit. Louis hardly was able to hide his horrified expression before Harry made his way over to his side.

"Did something happen?"

"I-I think the air vent broke, will you get under there and check it?" He said, giving Harry no time to respond before pushing him to the floor. Harry gave him an amused look and crawled underneath. Louis quickly typed a response.

To: ZZ

THATS WHERE H AND I ARE U FUCK FACE

From: ZZ

Shouty capitals are unnecessary. Dont get mad at me for the female species getting bored easily!!!!! Theres no second exit down there is there???

To: ZZ

No. Just distract them as long as you can

From: ZZ

Too late they already went downstairs

To: ZZ

Fucking hell

From: ZZ

I don't think thatd be very fun

Louis dramatically rolled his eyes. Of course Zayn wanted to crack jokes at a serious time like this. He heard giggling coming from the stairs and immediately ducked beneath the table, seeing Harry examining the vent closely. Bless him.

"Lou, I don't think there's anything wrong with it." He said, and Louis' heart was beating so loudly in his chest he hardly comprehended what he said.

"O-Oh, okay. I was worried when we spilled that drink." Louis said, seeing three pairs of legs walk past them. Luckily Harry was too engrossed in the vent to notice.

"You know what, Haz? I'm feeling a little stuffy in here. Why don't we go outside for a bit? I'm sure the people can fix this later."

Harry gave him a look. "You sure?"

"Very sure. Now let's go." Louis checked for their feet before grabbing Harry's wrist and dragging him out from under the table. He couldn't believe this is what his dignity had sunk to, hiding under an air hockey table with his boyfriend from his friends girlfriend, fiancé, and his own girlfriend with an ex who almost strangled him an hour prior. He was Louis Tomlinson, damnit, and he was lacking in his superiority.

He caught a glimpse of the three girls rounding the corner before dragging Harry upstairs. He turned the corner and saw Nick and immediately pulled Harry the other way, not caring that they were taking the long way around.

"L-ou-is," Harry was struggling to speak through his laughter as they bumped into people, and Louis wasn't sure whether to be angry or glad Harry didn't know the seriousness of the situation, "what are we doing?"

"Going outside!" He said, keeping a firm grip on his wrist. Once they made it outside, Louis let go and had to lean against the house to catch his breath. Harry was still chuckling.

"You're funny when you're drunk." He said, and Louis had to smile.

"Yeah, well. What time is it?" He was too tired to check his watch.

Harry checked his phone. "Quarter to midnight."

"Perfect." Louis had previously seen pictures of this house and saw a pathway somewhere in the backyard that led up to a gazebo. He planned to find it and take Harry up there for the midnight fireworks as to not be interrupted. He just had to make it fifteen more minutes.

They stood outside basking in the faded music in the background and people outside. Most of them had gone in the house to retreat from the cold air settling in but Louis didn't care about that right now. He knew the last place a girl would want to go is outside where it was cold and Nick had been aimlessly wandering around all night so he wasn't expected to come outside.

"It's nice out here." Harry said, leaning against the house next to Louis. He looked over. "Especially with you."

Louis blinked and then smiled. He was still calming himself down and he glanced at the crowd of people still lingering outside. None of them were paying attention. He took Harry's hand and brought him in for a kiss. "Yeah, it is."

Harry smiled and caressed Louis' cheek softly. Louis felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and squeezed Harry's hand before pulling it out.

From: ZZ

E is asking where u are

Louis scowled.

To: ZZ

Im coming

Louis pretended to shiver. "Okay, it's cold now. Let's go back inside."

Harry nodded and complacently let Louis pull him back inside. They met halfway with Zayn, Liam, Sophia, and Niall and Zayn whispered in Louis' ear before he nodded and claimed he was going to get a drink. He met with Eleanor near the front entrance.

"I heard you requested my presence?" He smiled. Eleanor hugged him.

"You disappeared on me again! It's almost midnight."

"I know." He said, kissing her cheek and seeing a camera flash. He pulled away and the cameraman gave him a thumbs up before walking away. He gave a half-hearted smile before looking at Eleanor. She giggled.

"You are going to be my New Years kiss, right?" She asked rather coyly. Louis was inclined to return the expression.

"Of course, who else would I give it to?"

Louis wanted to go back to Harry, so he excused himself to the toilet before he caught Nick in the corner of his eye. He stopped, and Nick's gaze was eerily even. They were standing directly across the dance floor from each other, the bodies seeming to disappear in their vision, and he could clearly see both Harry and Eleanor in the corner of his view.

Nick smirked, and the expression was so blood curling and vile that the sinking feeling in Louis' stomach came back. The way Nick's eyes were full of pure malice and vengeance had Louis frozen in place. Harry and Eleanor both noticed Louis had stopped, and Harry took a step forward. Zayn looked back and turned to Harry to momentarily distract him. Eleanor was eyeing him curiously all while Nick and Louis kept staring at each other.

Louis' whole body felt numb. He knew exactly what Nick was doing. He was making Louis choose between Harry and Eleanor, because if he went to one, Nick was going to go to the other. Either way he was going to sabotage one of his relationships and there was no possible way he could save both. He just had to pick which one he wanted to save.

He looked to Eleanor and she raised a questionable eyebrow. He waved at her with a true, apologetic smile before bolting to Harry, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out the door, fully aware of Nick making his way through the crowd towards Eleanor. He slammed the outside door shut before he could watch any longer and Harry held his hands out cautiously.

"Louis, are you alright?"

"Come on," Louis said completely winded, "I want to take you somewhere."

He took Harry's hand and led him around the perimeter of the backyard, looking up and down for any signs of a stone pathway to the gazebo. When he found it, he tugged Harry up the path, looking at his watch.

"Ladies and gentlemen, three minutes until midnight!" Louis heard someone yell through a megaphone. Cheers erupted from down below and Louis only pulled Harry quicker up the pathway to hopefully get a moment of relaxation. When they got to the top there was a couple but Louis quickly booted them out, much to their aggravation, and Harry frowned.

"Louis, are you sure everything is alright? You still haven't told me what that whole thing was about."

He was referring to earlier when Nick was planning to execute his vendetta against Louis right then and there. Louis smiled and ruffled Harry's nicely styled hair. Now that he had a moment to actually look at Harry he looked wonderful in his long sleeve dark blue shirt with pattered hearts. Only he could pull something like that off and Louis loved it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry if that scared you. I'm not very liked in my industry, if you couldn't tell." He said. "He knows me from X Factor and got a little mad at me for getting a career out of it and he didn't. That's all."

It wasn't like he was lying completely. Nick truly did hate him and want Louis to fail in everything he did after what happened. Louis just wasn't mentioning Nick's name and hopefully Harry would drop the subject.

They went to the side of the gazebo and looked at the stars. They were gleaming brightly and Louis squeezed Harry's hand. When he was with Harry it was like all his problems disappeared.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Harry sighed. A smile bloomed on Louis' face as he looked beside him.

"Not as beautiful as you."

Harry looked at him fondly with a bit of embarrassment, biting his lip and letting out a chuckle. "That was awful."

Louis grinned. "Thank you, I've been planning that one all night."

"So where have you been all night? You kept disappearing on me." Harry frowned, no previous recollection of the moment prior. Louis found it strange how when Eleanor said the exact same thing he found it annoying but when Harry said it, it was out of concern and endearment.

"Around. I had to meet a lot of people tonight to get my name out there."

Harry nodded and looked down at his and Louis' hand. "Can you believe it's the New Year already? I feel like you just walked into the bakery yesterday."

Louis let out an amused snort. "I feel like the moment you agreed to be my boyfriend was yesterday."

Harry smiled and leaned in but stopped when they heard the megaphone again.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen, fifteen seconds left! Count with me now."

They both heard chants going down from ten and Harry and Louis stared at each other apprehensively.

"Five." Louis said.

"Four." Harry continued.

"Three,"

"Two," Harry's smile grew bigger.

"One," Louis' expression matched his.

"Happy New Year!" Everyone shouted, clinking glasses and drinking. Louis pulled Harry's lips to his and kissed him passionately. He had missed this all night. Even though all the stress he went through that night it had all been worth it in the end just to get a kiss with Harry. He would do it all over again if it meant they could stay like that forever.

Their tongues tangled together and Louis fisted his fingers in Harry's sweet smelling curls. In that moment everything was perfect, and Louis felt like it was time. They pulled apart and Louis couldn't help the love and affection that was radiating from the bottom of his toes all the way to the top of his head. He bit his lip, staring at the wonderful boy in front of him.

"Hey, Harry."

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Harry paused, clearly stunned. "Wait, what?"

Louis giggled. "You heard me."

Harry was sent in a stupor and Louis kissed him again. It took Harry a few seconds to snap out of it before he kissed back fiercely, tugging apart breathless.

"I love you too. So much." He said, his voice breathless and green eyes glazed. Louis bit the inside of his cheek to try and stop the earsplitting grin from forming but failed. Louis suddenly remembered something and tore away, panic settling in.

"Oh shit, I forgot Zayn was going to propose to Perrie at midnight."

Harry blinked in shock. "He was?"

Louis nodded and entangled his hand with Harry's, letting out a nervous laugh as they ran down the stone pathway. "He's going to kill me for not being there!"

"It's Zayn, he'll forgive you!" Harry said. They reached the mushy grass and ran through the backyard. Louis almost felt like they were children without a care in the world running into the house for supper after staying out too long. Except in this case he and Harry were lovers, not just friends, and that fact made Louis bubble with joy.

The moment they got in the house he spotted Eleanor headed towards him from the left. He yanked Harry back into his proximity.

"Hazza, go find them. I'll catch up in a second." He said in his ear, pushing him forward. Harry glanced back at him unsurely but did as he said and Louis couldn't be more grateful. He approached Eleanor apprehensively with hands outstretched and a smile on his face.

"Eleanor–"

"Did you think I was some joke?" She asked. "That I wouldn't find out eventually?"

Louis blinked slowly. "Um, what are you talking about exactly?"

"You were already in a relationship and you used me?"

Nick. There was no doubt he definitely said something to her. Louis took in a deep breath and tried to think rationally. "El, listen to me, that was far over before I met you. I don't know what Nick told you–"

"What Nick told me was enough." Eleanor said. "You lied to me and him. How could you?"

"You have no reason to blame me for this. You knew the situation I was in when we got together." Louis said incredulously. What the hell did Nick say to her?

She scoffed. "Yeah, to cover up the fact that you're actually gay? You lied to me all this time!"

"That's not true. I've been more honest with you than anyone I've ever been with!" He said. That was a lie, but she didn't need to know that.

"Save it for someone who cares." Eleanor sneered. "We're done." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and stormed to the front door. She walked past Zayn and everyone else and threw her nose in the air and strut past them. Louis watched after her in a daze. Wait, what the fuck? Did she just break up with him?

Louis swore under his breath. He didn't have time for this. He jogged over to Zayn, who was hunched over, Niall and Harry were bent over the couch rubbing his back soothingly, Liam and Sophia looked concerned and Perrie was nowhere insight. Again, what the fuck?

"Zayn, what happened?" He asked. He was winded all over again. First Nick had to go and ruin his night then Eleanor broke up with him and now there was the possibility Harry might've seen her. He definitely had a migraine.

Zayn sniffled and looked up with his red, puffy eyes, and Louis had a feeling this night just turned to complete shit.

"She rejected me."

XxX


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Smut ;)

XxX

"She rejected me."

When the words came from Zayn's lips Harry instantly froze. But why? Zayn and Perrie had been together for years, they were perfect together! Louis looked just as appalled as the rest of them.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." He said, running a hand through his messy fringe. "That's a fucking joke."

"No, it's not, Louis!" Zayn moved his hands on the side of his legs. "She said no, all because I was trying to make sure your night didn't turn to shit! She thought I was ignoring her because you were more important, well look what happened!"

"I'm sorry, okay? My night hasn't been fucking fantastic either!" Louis said, throwing his hands out.

Zayn narrowed his eyes and stood up, towering over Louis. "Maybe if you spent a little less time thinking about yourself and worried about others for a change things wouldn't always turn to shit. This always happens, Louis, and you know it!"

"It's not my fault wherever I go something bad happens, and it's not my fault Perrie didn't love you enough to say yes!"

Time froze. The music stopped playing in the background, the mindless chatter disappeared, and the warm air turned to ice, Zayn and Louis simply stared. Louis had no trace of remorse and Zayn looked like he'd been hit by a freight train. He blinked slowly, his shoulders going lax.

"That's how you feel, huh?" Zayn said ominously quiet. "You think Perrie didn't love me enough to want to marry me? Why don't you take a look at you and Harry, are you sure he's not using you for your money? That's all you do after all, is buy his love with money."

"Zayn, stop it." Niall grabbed his arm. "We're all upset, okay? There's no need to drag Harry into this!"

Zayn jerked from his touch and glared at him. "You're defending him? Your best friend who makes you miserable yet you stay with him just to make him happy?"

"Is that true?" Harry asked, his eyes wide. When Niall didn't respond, Harry asked again. "Niall, is it?"

"Of course it is!" Louis rolled his eyes. "Why do you think he hates me? I stole his best friend and he's jealous."

Harry flinched. "But Niall, you should've told me–"

"I did tell you, Harry!" Niall said, "I told you so many times but you kept choosing Louis! What was I supposed to do?"

"Everyone, stop it." Liam interjected. "We're getting no where fighting like this."

"Says the one without a care in the world. You and your girlfriend have nothing to worry about!" Zayn said. Louis slapped his arm.

"Don't take it out on Harry's friends."

"Don't act like you can control me!"

"Louis, stop." Harry frowned.

"No, Harry, you stop!" Zayn said. "You think yours and Louis' relationship is all that? You think it's perfect? It's not, has there even been a moment where you actually liked Louis for who he truly is?"

"Of course there has! I love Louis and he loves me!"

The expression on Niall's face was unreadable. Louis turned away and Zayn flared his nostrils. He suddenly smirked, giving all of them an unnerving feeling.

"Let me guess, you just established this tonight?"

Louis shoved Zayn as hard as he could. He fell to the ground with a loud thud and Louis raised his foot, fully determined to kick him until his entire body was bruised, but Harry grabbed Louis' arms and held him back.

"Louis, stop it! Please!" He cried.

Niall helped Zayn stand up and once he was on his feet he pushed Niall away. "I don't need you guys. All you ever do is bring me down," Zayn jived at Louis, "and the rest of you can go to hell." He fixed his hair and stalked off, realigning his jaw as he grabbed his jacket. He disappeared through the door and Harry was in tears.

Harry had so much swimming through his mind. First he swore he saw Eleanor walk past even though Louis had reassured she wasn't coming. Harry trusted Louis, but it looked so much like her and he wasn't about to jump to conclusions. Then some guy had been threatening Louis and Harry didn't even know who he was. And now Perrie rejected Zayn, was this all one big hallucination? All the alcohol mixed with their emotions wasn't helping and Louis was still struggling to get out of his grip. Harry let go of Louis' arms and wrapped his own arms around his torso instead, burying his head into the crook of his shoulder.

"Let's just go home, please." He begged, his voice completely wrought. Louis' persistent struggling dwindled and he eased into Harry's touch. Once he stopped struggling, he set his hand lightly on top of Harry's.

"Okay." Louis glanced up at everyone then back to the floor.

They all made their way to the limo where Liam and Sophia climbed in first, then Niall, then Louis and Harry. He was still trying to get his emotions under control and Louis rubbed the back of his hand soothingly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, pressing a soft kiss behind Harry's ear. He rubbed his nose.

"You need to apologize to Zayn." He said, and Louis looked at him like he grew two heads. "I'm serious, Louis! You guys are best friends, why'd you have to go and say that?"

"Because," Louis let out an exasperated sigh, "I've had a stressful night too. Zayn doesn't get to shit all over me because of it."

"But you can to him?" Harry said. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm not blaming you, he had a part in it too."

Louis scoffed. "I think it was more than just both of us." He cast a glance to Niall who looked at him expressionless. After a long silence in the limo, Louis crawled to the front of the car and knocked on the window. It rolled down and he gave directions to a location that wasn't their hotel and Harry scrunched his brows together.

"Where are we going?"

Louis plopped on the seat and pulled a bottle of champagne from the cooler, popping open the cork and pouring himself a glass. He took a sip and leaned his head back.

"To get Zayn."

XxX

"Zayn, open up."

"No."

Louis rolled his eyes. Everyone was standing outside his door, which he stubbornly refused to open, but at least they'd made progress to where he was communicating. Knowing Zayn, his pride was hurt and his ego was damaged so the last thing he wanted to do was admit he was rejected and was forming a bruise on his ass. Louis would have to apologize for that one another time.

"Come on Z, I said I was sorry."

"That doesn't change what you did!"

"Yeah, well, New Year new start, must I repeat that mantra until it gets through your thick skull?" Harry nudged him forcefully. "Sorry, didn't mean that. I'm still a little drunk here."

There was no answer. Louis tapped his foot impatiently. "Zayn, I'm the only one who knows you the best out of everyone here, so I know your pride is ruined but no one here gives a fuck. We were all demoralized tonight in some way so we're equal."

A moment later the door cracked open. Zayn was peeking through and Louis gave him a hopeful smile. "We can have a pity party back at my place. Besides, you don't want to sleep alone do you? I know it'll be much more fun with people."

Zayn blinked, shutting the door. Louis was about to roll his eyes when he heard it unlock. The door swung open to reveal Zayn hugging a pillow to his pitifully dressed state. Gym shorts and a ratty hoodie Louis swore he got when he was in his prepubescent years. He looked like a wreck.

"Come on, you're not going to let some girl ruin you for the rest of your life, are you?" Louis asked. "Obviously it wasn't meant to be, and I'm sorry I had to go and make it worse, I'm a terrible person. She was a nice girl but didn't deserve you."

Zayn was silent, his eyes still bloodshot and face hidden behind the decorative pillow. Louis smiled sympathetically.

"Are you going to let a small pebble keep you from moving forward?"

Zayn wiped his eyes, lowering the pillow. "I loved her."

Louis nodded. "I know. Come on." He held his arm out and Zayn slowly let the pillow drop to the ground and he shut the door. He and Louis hugged tightly and Louis patted his back.

"Just for the record, that was the worst analogy I've ever heard. Especially from you." Zayn cracked a smile and Louis nudged him.

"That's what I'm here for. Now come on, I have some beer back at our place!" He said, keeping his arm interlinked with Zayn. Zayn's step faltered for a second as he turned to everyone else.

"Listen, I, um, I'm sorry about earlier. I just..." He ran a hand through his messy hair. "Tonight was stressful."

They all smiled.

Back at the suite, Louis pulled out two cases of beer and a card game. Zayn sat on the couch cuddling Louis' pillow and Niall was sitting next to him. They all started a game of Truth or Dare which Sophia said she was going to bed early, but none of them blamed her. It was a rough night but all had been forgiven. They were now all laughing and enjoyed watching Liam try to chug a bottle of beer in less than twenty seconds.

"Zayn, I dare you and Niall to sleep together." Louis said. Niall and Zayn's eyebrows shot to the top of their head and Louis barked in laughter. "No, no, not like that! Like sleep in the same bed, don't actually do each other."

"Oh," Zayn said, slightly perturbed, "I thought you meant–yeah."

Niall snickered beside him and Harry grinned. He was glad to see Zayn and Niall getting along so well, they both needed each other. Zayn seemed to have his mind taken off of Perrie and Harry could tell Louis was relieved. He almost thought their friendship was over for good; the last time he saw Louis that angry was back in Prague. It was a scary thing when Louis was drunk, Harry never knew how he was going to react.

"Harry, I dare you to chop all your hair off." Niall said.

Louis gasped and grabbed Harry's head, petting it gently. "How dare you suggest such a thing! I'm taking a chicken for him!"

Harry laughed and swatted Louis' hands away. "Ni, be reasonable."

"Fine," He said, "I dare you to moan as loud as you can and make it believable."

Harry deadpanned at him and Louis turned to Harry. He bit his lip nervously.

"Uh...I don't know how to do that."

"Maybe I can show you." Louis whispered in his ear, and Harry really hoped the other three didn't notice the sudden bulge in his pants.

"Just do it, Harry, none of us will remember this anyway." Niall said, leaning back on his elbows.

"I'm kind of in the mood for Go Fish. Anyone else?" Liam said, and everyone besides Louis and Harry chimed in agreement. They were all too drunk to focus on something for long and they dumped the cards on the ground, too intoxicated to shuffle the cards correctly or even deal out the right amount.

Soon, the two cases of beer were gone and they were all in a giggling frenzy. Louis kept teasing Harry by trailing his fingers up his leg then stopping right before he got to the middle. It only worsened Harry's mood and eventually he tackled Louis to the ground, cards flinging everywhere and lips locked in an intense heat. The other three kept playing as if nothing was happening.

"If I were half alive right now I'd kick you." Niall said as he laid down a pair of three's. Louis let out a breath as Harry sucked on his neck, opening his eyes to glare at him.

"Get your own boyfriend–oh shit, Harry." He breathed, and Harry brought Louis into his lap, pressing against the couch in an attempt to push their throbbing cocks together.

"Harry," Louis panted, "Harry–bed, bedroom–"

Harry picked Louis up by his thighs and tripped across the room and slammed the door. It was suddenly quiet and Zayn looked up from his deck of cards.

"Got any two's?"

"Go fish."

XxX

Harry threw Louis on the end of the bed. He crawled to the head and Harry clambered after him, staring into his eyes before kissing him again. Louis pushed back up with much fervor, undoing the buttons to Harry's shirt and ripping it off. Harry threw it to the side and Louis pushed him onto his back, pressing kisses around his jaw and in the crevices of his collarbone. Harry raked Louis' back and fisted his shirt before pulling it off of him.

Louis bit at the flesh and Harry scrunched his eyes shut.

"Let me hear you," Louis said, his hot breath tickling Harry's skin, "just let it out."

Harry was inexplicably hard and he groaned, aching to relieve the tension. Louis's lips trailed down his torso and attached his mouth to one of his nipples, tweaking the other with his fingers. Harry let out a gasp and gripped the bed sheets beneath him. Louis swished his tongue back and forth, swirling it around just to keep the sounds from Harry coming. It made him harder with each whimper and grunt Harry let out. He let off his skin and looked into Harry's eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

Harry nodded mutely, swallowing the apprehension.

Louis' eyes quivered before he got off the bed and walked into the bathroom. Harry propped himself up on his elbows, unfathomably horny, and palmed himself through his trousers to calm down. Louis was coming back, he wasn't walking away like all those other times. Harry was ready and he knew Louis was too; he just had to push past his inhibitions.

Louis appeared moments later with a bottle and package in hand. He set them on the other side of the bed, never taking his eyes off Harry, and slowly undid the top button of his jeans. He slid them down his thighs and kicked them to the ground. Harry did the same until they were both left in their briefs.

Louis dipped down to kiss Harry, more intimately and passionately rather than lustfully. Harry melted into the kiss and pressed his hands to Louis' cheeks. He there was the scent of alcohol and cologne emitting from him and it was the best thing Harry could ever smell. There was no better combination and with the soft bed sheets underneath his back he never wanted to be anywhere else.

"If you ever want me to stop just say so." Louis said. Harry nodded and pulled Louis' lips back down to his.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Louis said, and bent down to nip tantalizingly at his skin. Harry took in a sharp breath and pulled Louis closer. His heart was pounding in his chest but he knew Louis would never hurt him. The soft feeling of his fingertips glistening down Harry's sides sent shivers up his spine. It was so close, so intimate, and Harry could hardly believe they had finally gotten to this place. So many things that should've stopped them or made them break up but didn't. They were still here, stronger than ever and completely in love. There was no one else in the world they wanted but each other.

When their lips attached the kiss became more urgent – more needy, more desperate – and Harry pulled Louis' hips down to meet his own. He felt Louis finger the waistband of his briefs, teasingly bringing it up before letting it slap back down. Harry growled in annoyance.

"Louiiiis."

He looked up and grinned. "Yes love?"

Harry couldn't help but smile. "Don't be a tease."

Louis blinked and stared at him blankly for a moment before he shrugged. "Alright then."

He peeled Harry's briefs down and immediately kissed the tip before taking Harry's length in his mouth. Harry's back arched and he bucked his hips upward, his brain on overdrive. The way Louis' tongue swirled around the head and slowly dragged from the base to the tip had Harry in a daze. His fingers were pressed to the inside of Harry's thighs, occasionally helping the angle at which his cock slid down Louis' throat. He felt the tip hit the back of his throat and let out a moan. Louis pulled away and looked up at Harry through his long lashes.

"Louder."

Harry felt his toes curl as Louis went back down, rocking his head back and forth. He felt like he was going to explode and Louis pulled away right as he was about to release. He let out a strangled groan as Louis sat up and squirted lube onto his fingers. He looked at Harry.

"Ready?"

Harry nodded mutely and Louis slowly trailed his finger down Harry's throbbing cock past his balls and to his hole, circling around a few times. Harry squirmed.

"Sh-Shit, Louis."

Louis bit his lip and inserted a finger. Harry let out a breathless moan. The feeling was so foreign and intimate he felt his head spinning. He never thought there could ever be a feeling like this.

"Fuck, Harry." Louis gasped.

He moved his finger around before inserting another one, pushing past the second knuckle. Harry clenched his eyes shut, his cock bobbing against his stomach. He felt like every muscle in his body was about to burst as Louis inserted a third finger, scissoring and twisting until Harry was at his peak.

"So beautiful," Louis said quietly.

Harry didn't have time to respond when the feeling suddenly disappeared. He lifted his head to see Louis shakily readying the condom on his own leaking cock. He lifted Harry's hips onto his thighs and positioned his tip at Harry's hole.

"Is this okay?" He asked, and Harry nodded once more. Louis took a deep breath before pushing forward slowly. Harry felt his eyes bulge out of their sockets as Louis' cock filled him whole and completely. There was absolutely nothing that could compare. Louis let out a breath as Harry's walls closed around him. He dug his fingers into the dip of his hips and pulled out and pushed back in.

"F-Fuck, Louis," Harry fisted the sheets with one hand and covered his eyes with the other. "Faster."

They found a rhythm that had them both shaking with each thrust. Harry's breathing became erratic as he leaked onto his stomach. He pulled Louis closer with his legs, wanting to feel every inch inside of him. Their hips met with each push, and Harry felt the sheets beneath him become slick with sweat. He whimpered as Louis sucked on his collarbone again, breathing hot air onto each love bite.

In one last attempt to push all the way into Harry, he moaned loudly as he came on his chest, Louis shortly following suit. He pulled out of Harry and fell to the side of him, panting and resting a hand over Harry's chest.

After they caught their breath, Louis brushed away Harry's hair from his sweaty forehead. He smiled lopsided.

"Hi."

Louis grinned. "Hello Harry."

"That was fun." He said. "I liked it."

"Oh, you have no idea how much I liked it." Louis said, rolling off the bed and hopping to the bathroom, grabbing some toilet paper to wipe them off. "You're hot when you're underneath me, did you know that?"

Harry's face burned and he fixated his gaze on the ceiling. Louis laughed.

"Don't be embarrassed, that's a good thing."

Harry snorted, burying his nose into the crevice of Louis' neck. "I know. And I'm glad my first time was with you."

Louis smiled and quickly sat up, grabbing pillows and propping them under their heads. Harry chuckled at his antics.

"What are you doing? We can just sleep normally, you know."

"When do you ever sleep at the bottom of the bed?" Louis asked as he threw a blanket over them. At Harry's questionable expression, he gave him a look. "That's what I thought."

"So we're not going to get dressed?" Harry asked, and Louis raised his eyebrows.

"Do you want to get dressed?"

Harry bit his lip and rolled his eyes around the room before they landed back on Louis. "No."

"Uh-huh." Louis said teasingly, and Harry pushed him so hard he almost fell off the bed. They laughed as Harry caught his wrist and tugged Louis back into his arms, lightly caressing his brown fringe. It was always so soft Harry could run his hands through it all day.

"I'm tired." Louis whined, and Harry chuckled.

"You just had sex with me and now you're complaining."

Louis hit Harry's chest lightly. "You should be too, that was your first time ever."

"I know, I know. D'you think they heard us out there?" He gestured to the door and Louis sucked on his lip before letting it jut out.

"We'll find out in the morning." He crawled under the blankets and rolled so it encased him like a burrito. Harry tugged at the blanket.

"Louiiiiis now I'll be cold."

Louis grinned and held his arms up. Harry scooted in close to his body and Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's torso.

"I love you Harry."

Harry smiled. "I love you too, Louis."

XxX


	29. Chapter 29

XxX

Liam cracked the door open hesitantly. He had gone to sleep after Louis and Harry scurried to their bedroom before they slammed the door shut and proceeded to wake up the whole floor below and above them with their moans. It was all right though, Liam knew it was their first time and wasn't going to think about it. He was going to focus on this morning and the repercussions with Zayn and his failed proposal and Niall and his depressive state.

"Liam?" Sophia whispered behind him. He turned around and smiled.

"Stay in here, I want to check to make sure no one is naked."

She nodded and Liam shut the door behind him. He saw Zayn and Niall passed out on the floor, limbs tangled and cards and beer bottles scattered everywhere. Well, it looked like they got along great.

Liam padded towards them and bent down, lightly shaking Niall's shoulder. "Hey, Niall."

He took in a deep breath before his eyes slit open in a glare. "Whaaaat?"

"Are Harry and Louis in there?" He gestured to the bedroom directly in front of him. Niall lifted his head off of Zayn's chest then let it drop back down.

"I dunno." He slurred.

"Okay," Liam said, standing back up and looking around the suite. It was a mess, there were dishes in the sink from a few days ago and he was pretty sure there was a large stain on the carpet from where Harry knocked over a bottle with his foot last night. He went over to the bedroom and lifted his hand, but stopped and looked back at the two on the floor.

"Do you know if they're awake?"

Niall groaned. "I dunno."

"You're a lot of help." Liam muttered. He knocked tentatively and waited. Soon, he heard footsteps approach the door and it cracked open. Louis was glaring at him with one eye.

"Unless you're room service go away." The door slowly fell open and Liam realized Louis only had a blanket draped around his waist. He saw Harry on the bed, his bum splayed in the air and he immediately flushed.

"Oh, um, sorry." He quickly scuttled away from the door back into his own room where he forbid Sophia to leave until everyone was decent.

Louis peered out into the room and saw Zayn and Niall. He stared at them blankly before yawning and closing the door disinterestedly.

He sunk back on the bed next to Harry, throwing half of the blanket over him and curling next to his side. He petted his hair gently and watched as Harry's eyelids fluttered open. He smiled when Harry's bright green eyes looked at him so innocent and complacently.

"Hi," Louis said, and a grin bloomed on Harry's face.

"Hi. How'd you sleep?"

"Amazing. But it's probably because I was worn out from last night." He winked and Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and buried his head into the crevice of his hips.

"I still can't believe that happened and we actually remember."

"Well, we do tend to be drunk when things happen." Louis said. He tangled his fingers in Harry's curls and was lying there peacefully until his cell phone ringing broke the silence. He scowled and pulled Harry off of him, reaching for it and not bothering to check the caller ID. He yawned as he answered. "Hello?"

"Louis, you have a maximum of two minutes to explain yourself or you're in deep trouble."

Louis' eyes shot open. Oh shit, it was Mr. Walter. Shit, shit, shit. What time was it? Where were they again? Right, he and Harry went all the way, the New Years party was last night, Eleanor broke up with him and Nick almost strangled him. Right.

"Uh," Louis scrambled out of the bed to his suitcase to throw on his briefs from last night, knowing that he would just shower later. "uh, hold on." He kissed Harry's forehead and held up a finger before slamming the bathroom door shut and turning on the sink. "Okay, what?"

"Tell me why Eleanor broke up with you."

He sounded mad. Like, really mad, and Louis was afraid of what he might do. It's not like he could fire Louis though, he had his job through Louis so he couldn't do that or he'd lose his job too. Damn, Louis really needed some water and his medication. He slapped a hand to his forehead.

"Right, right, uh, you remember Nick from X Factor? Well, he was at the party and got ahold of Eleanor and told her random shit that made her mad and she broke up with me." It was the truth, he was just going to leave out the fact that Harry was there.

Mr. Walter sighed. "You have to fix this before the media catches wind of it. Where are you right now?"

"Erm, at my hotel?" He said more as a question because he didn't see how it was relevant at all to the situation.

"You need to call her."

Louis frowned. "But–"

"Now." Mr. Walter said, his tone leaving no room for arguments. He hung up and Louis let out an exasperated groan. Of course he had to deal with this after the best night of his life! He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up that his agent would let things slide, he was already in trouble from being pictured in London with Harry after their recording session. He just hoped Mr. Walter didn't catch on to the fact that Harry was still here.

He scrolled through his contacts begrudgingly before calling Eleanor. It rang a few times before she answered, though there wasn't an immediate "hello". Louis paused, wondering if she hung up.

"Hello?" He asked.

"What do you want, Louis?"

Eleanor sounded mad, not mad like Mr. Walter had been, but hurt mad, like she couldn't stand to hear his voice because he had been a dick mad. He let out an irritated sigh.

"Listen, will you give me a few minutes to explain? I'll keep it brief, I swear."

"What is there to explain, Louis? Nick told me everything."

"No, what he told you was his side of the story. You don't know mine."

"Then why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because I never found it relevant." Louis said, feeling like he was having this conversation with Harry all over again. It felt like ages ago when really it'd hardly been a week. "Just hear me out, alright?"

Eleanor paused on the other line, sighing. "Fine. Keep it short."

Louis went through the condensed version of his time at the X Factor, leaving out Hannah but explaining how he met Nick and what happened, then how he called it off because he didn't think they were good for each other, then he met Eleanor once he was signed and all was good. Of course, that wasn't the true story but Louis had a hard time remembering it since he'd altered it so many times to fit what people wanted to hear, not what actually happened.

After he was finished, Eleanor was quiet on the other line. "So nothing else happened?"

"Nothing else, I swear." Louis crossed his fingers, hoping she would believe him just this once then the next time could accuse him of lying. He had to save their relationship or Mr. Walter would throw him under the bus without any remorse. The real reason he'd gotten with Eleanor was to make rumors die down and now that they finally had he wasn't about to let them resurface.

"Okay, I'm sorry I overreacted." She said, and Louis did a little happy dance.

"So you forgive me?" He asked, keeping his tone even and hopeful to try and seem like he actually meant it.

He was positive Eleanor smiled. "Of course, I'll always forgive you."

Louis looked at himself in the mirror, making poses and screaming silent "fuck yeah's!" to himself. He always knew he had a way with words; it was part of his suave personality.

"Can I see you today?"

Louis suddenly wasn't dancing anymore. "I actually don't know, my agent had something set up for me so I need to call him." Lie.

"Oh, of course. I don't want to get in the way of your work."

Louis rolled his eyes. He was about to say goodbye but Eleanor stopped him.

"Wait, I have one more question."

"What's that?" He wondered what that could possibly be.

"Who's Harry?"

Louis stopped. He really didn't have an excuse for this one. Think, Louis, think. He had to stay as close to the truth as possible without giving everything away.

"Oh, him? He's just a lad I met. He has a nice voice so I figured I could do an EP with him, you know, help promote me a bit." Louis bit his lip. Harry didn't hear that, did he? Louis sure hoped he didn't; he would probably get offended. But now he had to remember Eleanor saw Harry as a promotion to his career while it was actually the opposite, they were doing this purely for fun and because they were in a secret relationship that only few people knew about. The irony.

"Oh, I don't remember meeting him. I just saw pictures of you two in London. Were you recording?"

"Yep! We flew to London–" Louis cleared his throat, "separately, of course, and got about half of them done. We have another session tomorrow."

He hoped and prayed Eleanor didn't ask more questions. They were back together and Nick hadn't quite ruined their relationship yet and Louis wanted to keep it that way. The minute Eleanor started reading more into his and Harry's relationship was the day they were doomed. He could never let that happen so therefore had to keep Eleanor and Harry strictly in two different parts of his life.

"Oh, okay. Well I hope you two have fun, I'd be really happy if I could see you today. I want to apologize in person."

"Understandable." Louis folded his arms. "Oh, I think my agent is calling. I have to go."

"Okay, I love you."

He hesitated. "Love you."

He hung up and cringed. As much as he wanted to break up with Eleanor that would be impossible right now. Him and Harry had already been papped together and if they broke up it would only cause new rumors to surface. Louis had to either wait until Harry was completely out of the picture or Eleanor died or something. Either or there was no way he could get out of it without consequences.

Louis sent a text to Mr. Walter saying he cleared things up before he splashed his face with water. He brushed his teeth and fixed his post-sex hair, grinning at himself. He was proud of himself; Harry was a real catch. Louis couldn't wait to see Harry in the light and how wrecked he was from last night.

He opened the door cheerfully but stopped when Harry glared up at him.

"Was Eleanor at the party last night?"

Louis blinked, thinking back to the party and if anyone had ever mentioned her. He didn't think so and he offered a smile. "Why do you ask?"

Harry's eyes quivered as he held his phone out to Louis. He took it, seeing his name typed in the search browser and numerous articles about him and Eleanor at the party last night. There were pictures of them walking up the carpet into the house and even the candid shots. Fucking hell, Harry never checked the news and Louis knew that for a fact, so why now? He hadn't thought the possibility of Harry searching his name since he never did in the first place.

"You know, I thought after the LA incident I could trust you." He said, his voice dripping with umbrage. "I thought I saw her last night but then remembered you would've told me if she was going to be there, which you didn't, so I believed you. But you were also the one who said eyes don't lie, so I just wanted to make sure I wasn't jumping to conclusions."

Louis didn't know what to do. He was frozen solid in place. He had no excuses, no lies, absolutely nothing. His brain was short-circuiting and all he could see was this ship was sinking quicker than it had sailed. Harry was now looking at him accusingly, his fists clenched in his lap.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

"What am I supposed to say, Harry?" He said, letting his hands drop to his sides. "I had to bring her but I also wanted to bring you!"

"That doesn't excuse the fact that you lied to me." Harry stood up, looming over Louis. His gaze was dark. "I'm not upset that she was there I'm more upset by the fact that you didn't tell me!"

"What was I supposed to do? You always get like this–" Louis gestured to him "–when Eleanor is brought up, it's not my fault I'm stuck with her!"

"Is that why I came later, is so you could show up with her and I wouldn't find out? Is that why you kept disappearing, was because of her?"

"No, Harry, that's not the reason at all." He reached out to touch Harry but he pushed passed him. He was about to shut the bathroom door but Louis grabbed his wrist and pulled him backwards. "Harry, let me explain!"

"What is there to explain, Louis?" Harry said, throwing his hands to his sides hopelessly. "You lied to me, again, and even after last night? What am I supposed to do now?"

"Stop overthinking, that's what." Louis growled.

"No, you know what, try being me for once, Louis. I'm always your 'second option' because you can't be seen with me in public. No matter what you'll always have to choose Eleanor over me because of the situation. How is that fair to me in the slightest?" Harry's eyes burned. "I saw the note Nick wrote you, you dumped him for Eleanor because you were bored with him. Is that all I am now to you, the 'next best thing', just because you're bored with Eleanor?" Harry shook his head and held his hands up. "No, you know what? I'm done. I'm done being your 'dirty little secret'." He put the words in quotation marks before slamming the bathroom door. He locked it and Louis felt fury bursting out of every pore.

"Harry, you have no reason to be mad if you'd just let me talk!"

"Just leave me alone!" He shouted.

Louis huffed and kicked the door, tearing the sheets off the bed and knocking over the nightstand lamp. It landed to the ground and shattered, and Louis fell against the wall, sliding to the ground with his hands fisted in his hair.

Why did he have to fuck everything up? Why did Harry have to find that note and why hadn't he said anything about it? He'd meant to throw it away the minute he got it but lost it in his closet; apparently Harry found it sometime when they were at his house. If he just stopped jumping to conclusions and let Louis explain the real story then this could all be avoided. All they ever did was fight and he was getting sick of it.

Fine, Harry wanted to break up? Then they were broken up.

XxX


	30. Chapter 30

XxX

Louis trudged out of his room, shirtless with sweatpants on. Niall was leaning across the counter from Zayn and their gazes immediately went to him. Judging by their nervous looks they had obviously heard the yelling. Niall forced a smile.

"Um, is everything alright?" He asked.

"No, everything is not alright you Irish cunt!" Louis snapped. Niall fixed his posture and Zayn cuffed the back of Louis' head.

"Don't be a dick. Why are you and Harry fighting?"

"Because Eleanor had to come to that fucking party and he found out! Now he's accusing me of being a pathological liar when he just needs to calm the fuck down and listen to me. I have reasons for the things I do!"

"Eleanor was there and you didn't tell him?" Niall asked incredulously. "The rest of us knew!"

"Because I knew that would happen!" Louis gestured to the bedroom. "The one time he googles my name to make sure he wasn't hallucinating is the one time I get papped to death."

"Well serves you right, this is exactly the reason I don't like you! You play with Harry as if he's some toy." Niall seethed.

"Shut up, I'm not an idiot." Louis retorted. "I care about Harry more than you ever will. I didn't want to tell him because I knew it'd make him upset!"

"Oh, so you keep secrets from the people you care about?" Niall sneered. "That's messed up."

"Will you two shut the fuck up? My headache is coming back." Zayn massaged his temples. "The point is, Louis, stop lying and being a dick to Harry, you're fucking him up and giving him trust issues. Niall, you need to let Louis handle this and not meddle in their problems."

Niall frowned. "But-"

"No." Zayn said. "Louis, go fix the damn problem. You two fight so much it's giving me an ulcer."

Louis sighed, exasperated. "He's locked himself in the bathroom. He takes really long showers when he's mad, I have no hope of seeing him until next century. I swear he's like a child."

"You or him?" Niall asked, and Zayn shot him a glare. Louis rolled his eyes.

"I swear he overreacts to everything. It's just like in a book when the main character walks away before they know the full story, that's exactly what Harry does!"

"But Louis, maybe this is the full story to him." Zayn said, surprisingly soft. "Have you really given him information about your past? Does he know about Hannah and why you started dating Eleanor or has he had to figure it out all by himself the whole time you've been together?"

Louis laced his fingers together, burning a hole in the marble counter with his gaze. He didn't know anymore, so much about their relationship was fucked up he didn't even think it was worth it anymore. Harry was an over-emotional wreck and Louis was biologically messed up, how would they ever find a compromise? He let out a disgruntled chuckle.

"I haven't bothered to tell him because it's not important."

Zayn lifted his hands up. "Ding, ding, ding, and right there is one major pitfall in your relationship. In order to be effective you have to communicate, Louis, you can't just bury secrets and hope they go away. They're still there even if they're six feet underground."

"Okay, so what do I do then?" Louis asked, honestly having no idea what to do.

Zayn sighed. "What's one thing Harry always brings up when you two fight? Even if it's small, just one thing."

Louis clenched his teeth together, thinking of all the times they ever fought. At this point, there had been too many, and he was almost ashamed to admit that. Of course not every relationship was perfect but at the rate his and Harry's was going there was nothing healthy about it. Louis tugged at his hair, going through their conversation and thinking back to what Harry said.

"I'm not upset that she was there I'm more upset by the fact you didn't tell me!"

It suddenly all made sense. Harry didn't give a damn about Eleanor, he gave a damn that Louis lied and said she wasn't going to be there. He was upset about being a 'second option' because they couldn't tell the truth to the public about their relationship. It had nothing to do with Eleanor being above him on the priority list, it was all trust.

"Do you know how to unlock a door from the outside?"

XxX

Harry felt himself convulsing with sobs. Every damn time they took a step forward there was a roadblock that pushed them fifty steps back. This was the exact same thing that had happened when Louis went to LA and said Eleanor wasn't going to be there but she was. Of course, that one wasn't exactly Louis' fault, but the fact that he hadn't told Harry immediately is what made him upset. And now that Harry was scrounging for any sort of information about Louis' past just to get a minuscule amount of knowledge on why he acted the way he did made Harry feel like he was aimlessly chasing his tail. If Louis was just honest with him all of their problems would be solved.

Everything was suddenly piecing together. Things such as why Louis had been so frenetic last night, he was so worried about Harry running into Eleanor that he used Zayn and all his friends as a distraction tactic. He didn't really want Niall and Liam to come, he was just using them like he was using everyone else. Harry was starting to see a pattern to the puzzle and realized that he was just another useless piece.

Harry let the water cascade down his face and body, washing away the feelings of last night. How stupid could he be to give someone his whole body only to have it thrown back in his face? He was always honest with Louis, he told him what he needed and made sure that if Louis wanted to know something then he told the truth. He had nothing to hide, so why did Louis act like he did? Harry had already found out everything at this point so there was no reason for him to be afraid of the consequences.

He leaned against the wall and felt the coldness from the wall seep into his skin. The numbing sensation almost felt good against his shattered insides. It somehow felt like it was mending the broken pieces back together. Harry stared at the floor, and the more he looked back on the past few months, the more he put together. Louis always avoided going too far at first in case Harry ever got curious and asked if he'd done that specific thing before. Louis hated Harry asking questions, and now he knew why. Louis was scared that he wouldn't be able to come up with an answer and it would drive Harry away. Louis lied to protect himself, he'd clearly stated that in the car on their way home from the restaurant back in Doncaster, but then he promptly changed the subject.

Harry stopped, his eyes fixated on the floor. He could just be overemotional, but more and more things were starting to make sense. Everything after that had been a distraction. The snogging in the car, the thigh touching in the restaurant, all of the sexual advances Louis had done on him were to simply distract him until he forgot his train of thought. Not only had Louis lied but he also used a form of sex to get away from a question he didn't want to answer. It all fit together, and Harry wasn't sure whether he was more relieved or broken at the fact that he now knew that. Louis had been doing it from the start.

A fresh batch of tears sprung to his eyes and he hugged himself. How did he ever get caught up with someone so terribly manipulative?

Flinching when a cold breeze rushed into the shower, Harry turned his head to the door and was met with Louis' stone gaze. Harry backed into the corner.

"What are you doing in here?" His voice cracked. He wasn't going to let Louis walk all over him anymore. From now on he was going to defend himself. He was done being used.

"I'm not here to explain, I'm not here to convince you of anything." Louis said carefully. "I just need you to listen."

Unsure what to do, Harry just stared.

Louis took a deep breath. "Okay...this is as hard for me as it probably is for you, but please bear with me. First off, I want to say I'm sorry I never tell you things. I-I told you before, it's not in my nature. I grew up not being allowed my own opinion or ever knowing my place, so it makes it hard for me to ever talk about things I find unimportant. Things like my birthday, I didn't find that relevant, so I didn't speak up about it, because I thought, why should you care? It's just a day, no one cares that much.

"I know that's hard for you because that's how you are, you like communicating and talking things through when I'm the complete opposite. I take out my anger and emotions through actions, as you've seen many times before. I-I'm not good at communicating, therefore I never do it." He took a deep breath. "But, that doesn't mean I can't try. I'd try for you, Harry, because even though I sure as hell don't deserve you and you deserve someone so much better than me, I'd go to the ends of the earth for you because you're that special to me. I selfishly asked you to be my boyfriend when I didn't even fully think through the consequences and expected you to just take it. Well, look where that's gotten us." He let out a half-hearted chuckle.

"Um, I'm just...sorry. I'm sorry that, that I dragged you into all of this and expected you to walk blindly in all of it. It was wrong of me to think that of you, and I'm sorry. You're big on being honest, which is something I'm complete shit at. I've always had to lie to protect myself and the people close to me so it's just hard. I don't expect you to understand or even forgive me, all I'm saying is I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never tell you things and I'm sorry I never take your feelings into consideration." Louis looked to the ground, seemingly out of words, then looked back up at him. "And I love you."

Harry was silent. All that was heard was the rushing water acting as a barrier between them. The sound of the crackling tension between them was deafening as they looked at each other, seeing love bites and bruise marks from the night previous and a look in their eyes they couldn't decipher. Harry was speechless and Louis was too.

"Wow," Louis breathed, and it looked like a ten-ton weight was lifted off his chest. He blinked and looked to the floor again, fiddling with his fingers. "Um, that's all I wanted to say. I-I guess I'll go now-"

Harry grabbed his wrist. Louis looked down at it then at Harry. Harry didn't know what he was feeling - he couldn't even begin to describe it. The only thing he did know was that he felt like crying; this time not tears of sadness or anguish, but out of pure relief and joy. He felt bad that he had overreacted, but Louis had forgiven him and spoken all of his worries over the past months. It was more than enough for Harry to know one thing for sure.

"I love you." Harry said, and Louis' mouth parted.

"Y-You do?"

Harry nodded, lips pursed. "I do."

Louis looked appalled. "Even, even after all of that? Harry, I'm a mess, and you're completely in over your head if you think this is going to work out in the long run-"

Harry cut him off by pressing their lips together firmly. They pulled apart and he looked into Louis' eyes unyieldingly.

"Then I'm willing to take that chance." He said.

His gaze was burning into Louis' blue irises. Frankly, he looked shocked, but relieved and slightly like a deer caught in headlights. Harry couldn't be more in love.

Louis was about to speak but Harry cut him off again, pushing Louis against the wall of the shower. Harry groped for something he could grab a hold of and ended up gripping the shower handle and slipping off, making the water turn scalding hot. It seared their skins and Harry pulled away from Louis' lips to attach to his neck, sucking and biting much like he'd done to Harry the night before. He writhed under Harry's touch as his hands skimmed up his sides, lips pressing against his skin zealously yet delicately.

Harry's hands trailed to Louis' back before they found his bum. He squeezed and Louis let out a gasp, giving Harry the opportunity to plunge his tongue into his mouth. Louis' hands flew to Harry's wet hair and tugged at it, the feeling of the hot water, cold wall, and Harry's hands all over his skin almost overwhelmingly excruciating. His whole body felt like it was in a state of frozen fire and his brain wasn't able to keep up.

Harry lifted Louis up and he wrapped his legs around Harry's hips, letting his body grind against Harry's torso and filthily dragging it down. Harry threw his head back and bit the side of Louis' shoulder.

"Bed," Louis said, and Harry shut off the steaming water before stumbling out of the shower.

Harry let Louis drop to the bed before climbing over him. Louis raised his hips to meet Harry's as his lips started from behind Louis' ear and trailed down. He went from his jawline down to his neck, sucking and biting and leaving Louis whimpering with each touch. He trailed down his chest and made sure every inch of Louis' wet, slick body got attention before moving on. He spread bruises along his torso and after each one blew on the abused flesh, sending shivers up Louis' spine. Harry's tongue dipped into Louis' naval and he continued down until he was hovering over his length. Louis' chest was heaving as Harry looked up at him through his lashes.

"Can I...?" He trailed off, and Louis nodded, fisting his fingers in Harry's wet hair. Harry licked his lips and took Louis in his mouth, slowly easing it down his throat until the hilt hit the back. Louis' toes curled each time Harry's wet curls brushed against his cold skin, only making him harder and push faster into Harry's mouth.

The way Harry's tongue curled around his cock was overwhelming. He obviously had picked that tidbit up from Louis, which made his ego rise above the clouds at the thought. He moaned as Harry rubbed his hands up and down Louis' sides, scraping his nails against his skin leaving red marks to trail behind.

"Sh-Shit, Harry," Louis breathed, clamping his eyes shut. For a beginner he was a champion at giving head. The way his eyelashes fluttered open and shut and the way his mouth looked wrapped around Louis' cock only made Louis come closer to his climax.

Harry's pace quickened as he tilted his head, sucking and lapping up each spurt of pre-cum that came from Louis' tip. Louis felt his climax coming closer and thrusted further into the back of Harry's throat with a loud moan. Harry winced as Louis spilled into his mouth, leaning over Louis with a flabbergasted expression. Louis had to regulate his breathing before he could even dream of clearing his vision, his mind was in pure post-coital mode.

Harry swallowed, much to Louis' chagrin, and the way Harry looked at him afterward was so erotic and carnal that Louis felt himself getting hard all over again. Dear lord, where did he ever find someone so astonishingly enamoring? There wasn't a day that went by where Louis wasn't surprised at Harry's ability to stupefy him. Louis held his head up, his chest still heaving.

"You didn't just..."

A sly smile graced Harry's supple, pink lips. "I did."

Louis bit his lower lip and sat up, capturing Harry's mouth in a fiery kiss. He responded as equally as needy and it was a battle for dominance. They grabbed, they pushed, they threw each other to the top of the bed, all in attempt to get impossibly closer and to feel as much as they could at once. Louis eventually won and took Harry from behind, thumb pressed in Harry's mouth as he pushed in and out. They both came violently all over the sheets and fell on top of each other. No words were exchanged; just a simple caress of a cheekbone sent them into another round of desperate thrusts and staining the sheets with their cum.

Meanwhile, outside the room, Zayn and Niall looked at each other grimly.

"Sounds like they made up." Zayn said, rather obstinately.

Niall slammed the door on his way out.

XxX


	31. Chapter 31

XxX

Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Sophia spent the rest of the day outside of the suite due to the two boyfriends who apparently had enough energy and sexual tension built up to last them three lifetimes. They retreated to Zayn's hotel and played some card games and when they got bored, Zayn showed them around London. He explained certain landmarks since he was more that sure none of the three had ever been out of their hometown; they all had that vibe that they were traveling virgins. Zayn, however, had been around most the world and therefore wasn't fazed by Big Ben or the bridge. When he came to how him and Louis became friends, Niall seemed miffed by the topic and Zayn took notice and quickly changed the subject, opting to talk about the city rather than his best friend who was currently doing Niall's best friend up the ass. They didn't need to think about that, though.

"So what do you do exactly?" Niall asked when they were seated at a fancy bistro for a late lunch. Liam and Sophia had chosen to sit at a different table for privacy, which left Zayn and Niall to themselves.

Zayn paused mid-bite. "Oh, I never really told you did I? I model."

Niall blinked, clearly surprised and took a spoonful of his soup. "Oh."

Zayn chuckled. "Is it that surprising?"

"Well, no," He said indignantly, "I mean, Harry said that only famous people got invited to that party so I knew you had to be special somehow."

Zayn snorted, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Harry never told you what I do?"

He shrugged.

Zayn sat back in his chair, staring at the blonde head in front of him. He seemed to be forcing his indifference on Zayn, which wasn't working because he could see right past the façade. It was obvious he loved Harry but despised Louis with every fiber of his being, and thus was trying to express his anger somehow – hence why he was being so short with Zayn. It was truly a wonder how he could handle it; Zayn knew for a fact he wouldn't be able to do it. He had to at least give Niall some credit.

"Tell you what," He took a sip of his water, "why don't I show you the studio I mainly go to for my shoots?"

Niall looked at him in bewilderment. "Why?"

Zayn set his cup down, a clear look of amusement on his face. So Niall was trying to play stubborn, okay, Zayn could deal with stubborn. Perrie had been one of the most uptight girls he had known yet they got along just fine. Speaking of Perrie, Zayn hadn't thought of her all morning, but somehow, he didn't feel like he had to. Of course the rejection still stung, but being with Niall yesterday and today had really taken his mind off of it. With everything going on ranging from Louis and Harry to Niall to Eleanor Zayn had his hands full already; he didn't have time to dwell on the breakup. What happened was meant to happen. He couldn't change that. All he could do was look forward.

"Because I want to." Zayn said, taking another drink. "And you look like you're about to be sick if you have to see one more couple do something cute."

Niall glanced at Liam and Sophia shamefully then down at his lap. He poked his chicken sandwich with his fork and Zayn folded his napkin and set it on the table before pushing his chair back.

"Ready?" He asked, and Niall looked at him weird.

"What about Liam and Sophia?"

"I'll call one of my drivers for them." When Niall's mouth dropped in surprise, Zayn chuckled. "Yes, I have those too. Now come on, I had a shoot today anyway and I don't want to be late."

Niall stood up adamantly and followed behind. Zayn informed Liam and Sophia that he would indeed call one of his drivers and he would take them anywhere that they'd like and would arrive in five minutes. They nodded and Liam gave Niall a look before they walked out of the bistro.

The ride was silent, and Niall was playing with his hands the whole time. They both had a massive hangover but luckily painkillers existed and Zayn had to suck it up anyway. He had a job and had to be professional; the photoshoot was already overdue two weeks since he had been so busy tending to Perrie. He scowled, now that he thought about it, he realized he always had put more effort into the relationship than Perrie ever had. He had been the one to first initiate their relationship, he had always taken her on nice dates, he had always bought her nice things, and he had always invested more of his emotional well being into her than he had with anyone. He blinked at the thought. Maybe Louis had been right, maybe she didn't deserve him.

"What's up?" Niall asked, and Zayn was brought out of his reverie.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about Perrie." He said, and the look on Niall's face said he disapproved. Zayn quickly added, "Like, about the breakup. I don't think it would've worked out in the long run."

"Even after all you two went through?"

Zayn shrugged. "Sometimes it's not meant to be. Sometimes we meet people and are meant to fall in love with them but not to end up together."

"Do you believe that about you and her then?"

Zayn leaned back against the seat. "I don't know, and I won't know until I find someone else." He smiled reassuringly.

Niall pursed his lips. "I mean, at least you had someone. I'm perfectly happy being single until I see a happy couple. Or a romantic movie. Or when I hear a love song. Then it sucks."

Zayn chuckled. "Don't worry, I know what you mean. You don't think I see Harry and Louis and already miss it? Of course I do, there's so much to a relationship that's exhilarating. Being in love makes you feel like you can do anything."

Niall scoffed. "Yeah, well, the only love I've felt has been one-sided. So I wouldn't know."

Zayn nudged his arm. "Don't be so pessimistic about it. Like I always tell my sisters, there's someone for everyone. And trust me, if Louis can find someone, you definitely can."

Niall gave him a crooked smile and sighed. "I just wish it was that simple."

Zayn shrugged. "Well maybe you're looking for love in all the wrong places."

Niall raised an eyebrow. "Where are the right places to look then?"

"Not where you've been looking." Zayn grinned, and the look was so infectious that Niall grinned, and then they both started laughing.

They got to the building and Niall was taken aback by the sheer size of it. He didn't know how tall it was but there were definitely more than forty floors. Zayn strolled through the front door and greeted the receptionist, pulling Niall into a nearby lift. They went up to the thirty-sixth floor and walked down a half. Zayn opened a door with a label Do Not Disturb taped to the front and immediately they were greeted with the sight of cameras and lights flashing against a white background. Niall swallowed shallowly as Zayn casually walked up to a man with a clipboard in hand and set his hand on his arm. The man's face lit up and he grinned, shaking Zayn's hand and pulling him in for a quick hug. Niall fumbled with the hem of his shirt and Zayn beckoned him over.

"Who's this?" The man asked.

"Niall Horan, sir." Niall said, outstretching his hand.

"Alfie Causer," He replied, shaking Niall's hand firmly. He let go and cast Zayn a questionable look.

"Where's your woman?"

Zayn averted his eyes. "Um, yeah, about that. It's a long story."

He kept switching his gaze back and forth to Zayn and Niall until they finally rested on Zayn. He grinned brightly, patting him on the shoulder.

"You've got quite a thing for blondes, haven't you?"

Zayn let out a strangled cough and scratched his nose, and Niall could've sworn Zayn was blushing. His eyebrows rose in amusement and Zayn refused to look at him. Niall folded his arms, feeling his ego dare to flaunt in the situation. Zayn was getting flustered because of him?

"Ehm, sure." Zayn tried to clear his throat nonchalantly but it came off forced, "Where do you want me?"

Alfie let out a hardy laugh and gave Zayn instructions. He scurried to the dressing room and Niall was left standing by himself awkwardly. So he definitely knew for sure now that Zayn modeled. And he was apparently attracted to Niall. That was a new one.

"So Niall," Alfie said, "how'd you meet Mr. Malik? He's been in the industry for years now and I'll say he's one of the most talented ones we have."

Niall chuckled nervously. "Ah, well, bit of a long story but my friends boyfriend is friends with Zayn. We met just last night, actually."

"Well you've hit it off quite well in such a short amount of time." He said, flipping through the papers on his clipboard. "What happened with him and Perrie? I could tell he didn't want to talk about it."

"Yeah, he proposed to her last night but she said no." Niall said, and then stopped. Was he allowed to tell that information to people? He assumed Zayn and Alfie knew each other well but because the wound was still so fresh he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe he should've let Zayn tell him instead. "Uhh, don't tell him I told you, though. I don't know if he wants anyone to know."

"Oh don't worry, his secret's safe with me." He said, flipping all the papers back down. His raised his voice and called people to their positions, startling Niall. Alfie turned to him.

"There's a chair over in that corner. You can sit and watch if you'd like, I presume that's why Zayn brought you here."

"Oh, yeah." Niall smiled, and quickly went to the corner of the room. He indeed found the chair and saw it had the last name Malik etched on the back. So this was Zayn's chair. Niall unfolded it and sat a distance away from the cameras and light fixtures but still had a clear view of the white backdrop.

He was playing games on his phone when Zayn returned from the dressing room, clad in a solid white shirt with the sleeves and breast pocket being a gray and black pattern. He had on dark denim jeans, dress shoes, and his hair was quiffed nicely. Niall licked his lips and Zayn looked over tentatively, giving him a small wave. Niall waved back.

They positioned Zayn behind a girl named Cara and Niall watched with mild interest. He totally wasn't in his realm, if he had his guitar he would feel more at ease but since he hadn't brought it with him he was out of luck. He mostly focused on the way Zayn would always start from the bottom and go up – he positioned his feet, then the angle of his legs, his pelvis and hips, his torso, his hands and arms, his neck, his head, and then his expression. It was a fascinating process Niall found endearing. He was in his zone, never breaking focus from the camera or where he was positioned to go.

"Okay Zayn, we're going to have the buttons undone and we want Cara behind you now." Alfie said. They did as he instructed and he pointed to Zayn. "Tilt your head up a bit. Cara, we want you to grab his body. Show your nails off girl, you just got them done!"

Niall watched as Cara dug her nails into Zayn's chest, staring straight ahead at the camera. Zayn had one hand back on her hips and the other resting on her cheek, his eyes closed and lips parted tantalizingly. If Niall were to just see a shot of Zayn he'd assume he was filming some type of porno; his expression was the epitome of corporeal attraction. Well, he always was, but Niall wasn't going to admit that out loud.

"Perfect!" Alfie said, and the photographer began snapping shots. "Zayn, tilt your head towards Cara, act like you're going to kiss her."

Their lips were dangerously close and Niall was sure they could feel the heat from each other's breath. How had Perrie ever been okay with this? Niall was just getting uncomfortable watching a half-dressed Zayn almost kiss another half-dressed model in a simple pullover. The spring fashion line definitely did speak volumes about the season, fresh and stimulating.

"Change!" Alfie called, and they were quickly brought new clothes. They stripped down to their underwear and Niall blocked his view to give them privacy. Judging by the way they did it without hesitation meant they were used to it. Zayn and Cara must've worked together before; their chemistry was outstandingly apparent.

This time Zayn wore a light gray bomber jacket with a matching fedora and a denim shirt underneath. Cara was given something similar and they were immediately posed afterward, this time standing side by side with serious faces. The way Zayn was posed looked so magnificent. His stone-hard expression along with a tiny bit of stubble and hints of a slight hangover added to his appearance. He looked rugged yet clean and Niall never knew someone could pull off both looks at the same time. He slowly took his phone out and snapped a quick picture. He scowled at it and cropped Cara out of it, smiling afterward. Much better.

It went like that for another hour; Niall had lost count how many times they had a wardrobe change. Surprisingly a lot of the colors were neutral and not very bright given the recent trend of the color salmon, which Niall found strange since it was the spring fashion line. Zayn shook everyone's hands after he'd gotten dressed in his normal clothes and chatted with Cara a bit before giving her a hug. He walked over to Niall with a slight bounce in his step, looking brighter than ever.

"How'd I do?" He asked.

"Awesome. Definitely better than I could've done!" Niall laughed and Zayn joined in.

"It's really not that hard."

"Yeah, but you've been doing it for years. I'm not photogenic like you are." Niall smiled, and subconsciously checked for his phone in his back pocket. He was going to keep that picture of Zayn a secret for now.

Zayn shrugged. "Like anything it just takes practice really. You must be tired, I hope you didn't get too bored."

Niall shook his head. "No, not at all actually. I liked watching you."

Zayn smiled. "Well good. At least my job isn't too boring to outsiders."

Niall hopped off the chair and refolded it, putting it back in the corner. Alfie beckoned both of them to come over where the pictures were displayed on a computer monitor. In each picture Zayn looked so elegant and stylish; something Niall could never hope to accomplish even if he tried. The man in charge of scrolling through the pictures stopped on a picture where Zayn and Cara's lips were inches away. Their eyes were half-lidded and their hands were holding on tightly. Niall felt something inside of him swirl and Zayn glanced at him.

"Wonderful job, you two." Alfie said to Zayn and Cara. "And Niall, it was nice meeting you. Be sure to come back soon!"

Niall nodded and Zayn grabbed his coat before they headed back down the hall to the lift. They rode it down in silence all while Niall was staring at the picture of Zayn he took and Zayn leaned over his shoulder.

"Niiiialll," He sang, and Niall quickly shut his phone off.

"What?" He said, and when he turned to Zayn realized how close they were. They couldn't be more than a few inches apart, and Niall scolded himself for letting his thoughts take over. Zayn just got out of a relationship for fucks sake, just last night too! Niall was simply lonely and desperate because Harry was taken and he hadn't found a girl worth looking twice at. There was no reason he liked Zayn other than the fact that he was giving him attention. That was it.

"You're awfully quiet." He said, and Niall noticed how he hadn't backed away. Their proximity was still dangerously close and Niall swallowed nervously.

"Just a bit tired. It was exhausting watching you do all the work, you know?" He cracked a grin and Zayn chuckled, pretending to flip his hair behind his shoulder.

"I know what you mean. It's not easy being me."

Niall pushed Zayn away, intending for it to be a light nudge but accidentally adding a bit more force than necessary. Zayn laughed.

"Okay, okay, sorry. I'll stop being conceited."

Niall gave him a cheeky look. "I don't think it's possible for you to be conceited."

"Oh trust me, I can be." He said, and they were both quiet after that. The lift was still going down, down, down, and Niall almost felt like he was suffocating in the air they were sharing. He couldn't name what was there but knew something was. When he looked over at Zayn it seemed like he felt it too.

Maybe Niall was just overthinking. He was trying to create something that wasn't there out of his own self-pity. Zayn would never like him; Niall had nothing that was likeable about him. Compared to Zayn, Niall was just washed up news who was hopelessly in love with his best friend and desperate for someone to give him attention and has no sense of style. He wore supras, t-shirts, and jeans every day, and if he compared that to Zayn? He looked homeless standing next to Zayn's 'casual wear'.

The lift finally got to the bottom floor and right before the doors slid open, Zayn slammed his hand on the button that held the doors closed. Niall paused and looked back. The expression in his eyes were unreadable

"Niall," He said evenly, his tone not giving away a single indication of what he was thinking, "I know this is inappropriate considering I just got out of a relationship yesterday, but would you–"

Niall held a hand up, immediately silencing him.

"You don't want me, Zayn." He said. "That's that side of you talking. The side that gets up and walks out of the room when you hear a love song, the one that shuts off the TV when a romantic movie comes on, the one we were talking about earlier. You need time to move on."

Niall couldn't leave since Zayn's hand was still pressed firmly on the button. They were both stuck in the small, encased area, just staring and letting their gazes burn impressions into the other's retinas. It was a sweltering tension that Niall was aching to relieve but was resisting with every ounce of self-control he had. He didn't want Zayn and Zayn didn't want him, they were just both lonely and desperate. It would never work out.

But maybe, Niall regretted to think, it just might. They were both lonely, so what did they have to lose?

Zayn slowly let his hand drop from the button, his eyes trailing to the floor.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

Niall watched Zayn slowly tread to the lift doors, waiting for them to slide open. Once they did, he took a step forward, but on impulse Niall grabbed his wrist, inhibiting him from walking any further. Zayn glanced at his hand then up at Niall's face. His eyes were swirling.

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it." He said, and Zayn blinked slowly. His hand in Niall's grip tightened in a fist, and all at once he pressed the button to the top floor and pushed Niall against the wall, pining his one arm to his side. The doors slid shut as Zayn looked at Niall carefully as if he'd damage him if handled too roughly.

"This is going to be a long fifty-six floors." He said slowly, and then closed the gap.

XxX


	32. Chapter 32

XxX

Louis and Harry stumbled out of the bedroom sore, marked, and stained all over. It was late at night – they hadn't looked at the clock all day – and they were both starving. They looked like complete wrecks and were surprised to see no one was in the suite. In their naked glory they roamed around the large abode, checking in Liam's room and Harry paused when he heard music coming from Niall's. He jiggled the door handle and beckoned Louis to come over and they pressed their ears to the door. There were the distinguishable sounds of sheets moving and lots of groaning, and Harry's mouth dropped as he looked at Louis.

"Is that Niall?" He mouthed silently.

"Mother fucker," Louis mouthed back, slapping a hand to his mouth. He blinked rapidly and paced in a circle before pressing his ear back to the door. His eyes bulged. "Holy shit I think that's Zayn."

Harry's eyes widened and he slowly backed away from the door, looking as if he'd witnessed death itself.

They made some dinner – still naked of course – which ended up being reheated pizza from a few nights prior, and they sat one barstool away from each other, trying to ignore the loud bass and occasional moans they heard from the bedroom. Harry flicked the pepperonis off awkwardly and Louis bit into the crust a bit too loudly.

"So, um, is this doing the same to you as it is to me?" Harry asked. Louis nodded meekly and the two stared at each other for a long drawn out moment before scrambling off the barstools and into each other's embrace, lips locked and hands desperately touching every part of their bodies. Harry pushed Louis towards the bed but he pulled away and shook his head.

"'S too far away. Couch."

Harry nodded and rolled over the top of the couch. Louis landed on top of him, immediately dipping down and pressing their hips together, his lips attaching to the juncture of Harry's neck. He moaned and raked his nails down Louis' back, leaving a trail of red streaks along with all the other bruises and bite marks he made earlier in the day.

A few minutes later after Harry and Louis had finished and were in the shower, Liam and Sophia walked in, shopping bags in hand, and Liam paused in the doorway. He took in the situation: Niall's door was closed with loud music playing on the other end, Harry and Louis' bedroom door was opened, the shower was running, and the place reeked of sexual tension and intercourse. Liam blinked and turned back to Sophia.

"We're staying at Zayn's tonight."

XxX

In the morning, the four emerged from the bedrooms completely exhausted. A hangover and all-day sex marathon for Louis was just about enough to put him in a coma for the entire length of his life. Both him and Harry had sore throats and were bruised and sore absolutely everywhere. Their lips were raw along with any sort of feeling in their bodies. Both Zayn and Niall didn't look much better when they slid onto the barstools and rested their heads on their arms.

"Looks like someone got a bit frisky last night." Louis jived, and Zayn punched him lightly, his face squished against the marble.

"Shut up. It's more than you got."

Louis snorted. "You sure you want to play this game with me?"

Zayn groaned. "No details, please. Are we getting room service? I'm way too tired to cook."

"Hazza," Louis called weakly, "will you order breakfast please?"

"Yeah," His voice carried through the bedroom. They heard him pressing the buttons before he started to talk. Moments later he appeared in the doorframe. "Lou, do you want scrambled or sunny-side up?"

"Which one is where the egg is all yolky?" He asked.

"Sunny-side up."

"Then that one."

Harry turned back to the phone and put in the order. He hung up and sat next to Louis, absentmindedly stroking the top of his hand with his fingers. They all sat there completely exhausted with their heads resting on the counters. They heard the door open and raised their heads.

"Hello," Liam said, "is it safe for Sophia to come in?"

They all looked at each other dully then back at Liam and spoke in unison. "No."

He sighed and shut the door behind him, grimacing at the mess. The dishes were definitely piled up more than they had been before, the couches were pushed in a weird formation and there was a strange stain on the coffee table that didn't look like it came from the bottom of a cup. The place was musty and almost smelled like some high-driven sex animal was decomposing. Liam drew the curtains back, making all of them groan, and opened the windows. They all whined.

"Liam, it's cold as balls outside." Louis said, hugging his arms to his body.

"Then put some clothes on. This place needs to air out." He said, going to Niall's room and rummaging through his suitcase. He provided a shirt for both Niall and Zayn and did the same for Harry and Louis. He allowed Sophia to come in once all of them were decent and had stopped making crude jokes.

Their food arrived and before Liam and Sophia sat down on the couch Louis and Harry warned them about their previous endeavors. They awkwardly stood back up and went back to the kitchen, opting to stand instead. It seemed like the safest option.

"You know, you really need to get this place cleaned. Why don't we spend the day at Zayn's hotel?" Liam asked. "It'll take ages for the maids to clean it."

"Hazza and I have a recording session today." Louis said. "So we'll be gone anyway."

Harry let his fork clatter to his plate. He groaned. "That was today? But I'm so tired!"

"I told you the day after New Years was our last session." Louis took a defiant bite of his egg white. "After this there are no other available times until after February, Mr. Irvine is a busy man and my agent wants to get this EP released as soon as possible."

Harry made a noise of protest and Louis cuffed his head.

"Well if you two are gone then that leaves us four by ourselves again." Niall said, looking at Zayn.

"Actually, Sophia wanted to tour around a bit more before we leave tomorrow morning, so it'll just be you two." Liam said. Niall and Zayn looked to each other before blinking, simultaneously getting off the barstool and quickly grabbing their things.

"We're going to my place." Zayn called, waving as he disappeared out the door. Niall trailed behind him and shut the door, leaving the other four in a stupor. Louis looked at his plate disgusted though the emotion was geared towards his friends.

"Since when did they start shagging?"

Harry shrugged. "He must've gotten over it already."

Louis took a sip of his lemon tea. "Good hell."

Louis and Harry retired to their room for a power nap before they had to leave. Nicholas and Phil were scheduled to pick them up at two PM, and so far Harry was up fifteen minutes beforehand prying Louis out of bed.

"Louuiiiiiis come onnnn." He said, pulling Louis' arm and rocking back and forth like a seesaw. "We're going to be late."

"I'd much rather have another sex marathon than go and do actual work." Louis said, his voice muffled by the pillow he was currently lying facedown on. "That's at least fun. In the booth I'm stuck by myself wallowing in my own self-pity."

Harry scowled, slipping the pillow out from under Louis' face. He slapped it on his head a few times making Louis groan in irritation.

After lots of bribing for rough sex and a fan-fucking-tastic blowjob, Louis finally got out bed and threw on a pair of joggers and a hoodie, too tired to even function. Harry dragged him out to the car where they were driven to the studio. They were hand-in-hand as they walked in the room. Andrew lowered the papers in his hand and turned to them.

"Welcome back!" He greeted and stood up to shake their hands. Harry smiled.

"It's good to be back." He said.

"You look like you had quite the party." Andrew said, looking over Louis. He stared at Andrew blankly.

"Let's just get this over with."

Andrew watched as Louis made his way to the studio. Harry stood by Phil and Nicholas with his arms folded. Louis was in one of those moods again, meaning he was extra sensitive and very irritable. Harry had to watch what he said or he'd get the wrath of un-sober Louis. He'd gotten it before and he didn't want to get it again.

"How many songs do we have left?" Andrew asked through the microphone.

"Three," Louis replied, covering one ear with the headphones.

Andrew pulled them up and Louis cleared his throat. It really looked like he was struggling to stay awake, Harry felt bad. They couldn't cancel though since it was like Louis had said, Andrew was a busy man and if they didn't do it now they couldn't until after February.

"This EP of yours will bring in the pounds," Andrew said, downloading a file from an email attachment. "Mr. Styles over there has the voice of an angel, I wouldn't be surprised if he passed you Louis!"

Louis glared through the glass and Harry covered his chuckle. He sent Louis a sympathetic look and Louis simply rolled his eyes. Harry frowned, Louis had to know Andrew was joking; he was the one who was signed and famous whereas Harry was just along for the ride. He couldn't possibly believe Harry was a better vocalist than him.

After Louis was finished, he threw the headphones over the microphone a bit too roughly, making it clatter as he walked out of the studio. Harry intercepted his beeline to the door and pulled him aside, pressing his hands to his cheeks, forcing him their gazes to meet.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

Louis looked to the side. "I'm just tired."

Harry looked at him a moment longer before pressing a delicate kiss to his forehead. He caressed the soft skin right below Louis' eye.

"When we get back we don't have to do anything, we can just sleep. It'll just be a little longer. Can you make it until then?"

Louis nodded, and Harry had to tear himself away from Louis. He ignored the looks Phil and Nicholas were giving him and walked into the booth, setting the headphones over his ear. They did a quick sound check and Harry lightly patted his hand on his leg to the beat, hearing Louis' voice through the headphones. Since he was tired, his voice sounded a bit more rugged as opposite to his usual light and frilly tone. Harry frowned, glancing at Louis through the glass. Devry had provided him a chair and Phil was giving him a glass of water. Something else was wrong, it wasn't just exhaustion.

Harry had to push the thought to the back of his mind. Right now he had to focus and then he could attend to Louis.

The session went smoothly and Harry had to only redo a few parts. His throat was sore making it a bit pitchy, so he stayed and watched Andrew level out his tone before they were allowed to leave.

"Have you ever thought of making your own songs?" Andrew asked once they were done doing some of the major editing. Harry shook his head.

"No, I think I'm better singing with other people. I leave the songwriting to my friend. It's more his thing."

Andrew nodded musing. "Well if you ever change your mind don't hesitate to give me a call."

Harry nodded, and before they left Andrew gave them thumbs up and promised to have the songs done as soon as possible. Mr. Walter had apparently called him and planned to release the EP at the end of the second week of January. Louis started tour for his own album the following week, meaning Harry wouldn't see him for a while. Harry hadn't ever heard Louis mention anything about an actual tour being planned, but assumed he'd just forgotten.

On the ride back Louis fell asleep on Harry's shoulder. Harry lightly caressed his arm, staring out the window to the snowy trees and sidewalks. Flurries were coming from the sky and Harry watched as each individual one dropped to the ground and disappeared. When they stepped out of the car the crisp air singed his nose. He held his hand out for Louis but he shook his head, wanting to stay and sleep. Phil beckoned him to come forward and Louis did so stubbornly, crawling on his back. Nicholas shut the car door and they made their way into the hotel, Louis fast asleep on Phil's back as they rode up the lift and went into their room.

Phil set Louis on the bed and shut the door. Harry watched from the barstool, concerned.

"Is he okay?" He asked.

"Just exhausted." Phil said. "Give him time to sleep, these past few days have been stressful."

Harry nodded, and Nicholas hung up from his phone call. He put the device in his pocket.

"Do you want one of us to stay here?" Nicholas asked. Harry shook his head.

"No, I think we'll be fine. The others won't get back until later but I'll tell them we're here."

Nicholas nodded. "If you need anything just call." He and Phil left the room and Harry sat back. Sure, he was tired, but not nearly as much as Louis to where he couldn't stay awake. He drummed his fingers on the marble counter, not quite sure what to do with himself. Louis was always his source of entertainment but now that he was asleep Harry was bored.

He pulled out his phone.

To: Nialler

Lou and I are back at the hotel. When are you getting back?

Harry sighed and paced around the room, waiting for a response. He didn't remember the last time he'd actually texted Niall, it had to have been since before Christmas. His phone buzzed and he opened it.

From: Nialler

Dont know im with Zayn right now

Harry scowled. Was Niall trying to indirectly make him jealous over the fact that he was spending so much time with Zayn, not to mention shagging him? Was this Niall's way of getting back at Harry for always rubbing Louis in his face? It was never intentional; it's just how they were together. Harry never wanted Louis and Niall to become mortal enemies but he guessed that's what happened when the best friend met the boyfriend. Whatever the case, Harry definitely was not jealous and was actually irked that Niall was being so insensitive.

To: Nialler

Okay take your time

He was about to shut his phone off but it rang, making him jump. He paused when he saw the caller ID. He thought back to the past few days, had he done something wrong?

"Hey, mum."

"Hi Harry," She said. She didn't sound mad but she didn't sound pleased either. Harry felt like he was forgetting something but couldn't place it. It was starting to drive him insane.

"What's up?"

"Well, before we get to that, how are you?"

Harry sighed. There was definitely something wrong; he didn't want mindless chitchat. "I'm good. Now what's up?"

Anne chuckled. "Okay, okay. Did you forget you worked today?"

Harry froze. That's what he'd forgotten. He looked at the date on his phone. It was the day after New Years, he'd specifically been scheduled that day because everyone else was out of town. Being in London was definitely something he hadn't thought would ever happened back when he made his schedule in August. He slowly sank to the debauched couch and put a hand on his head.

"Fuck, I'm sorry."

"Harry, language." She said. Harry slapped his face. Being around Louis really had brought out his garbage mouth. His mum was in for a real surprised when Harry came home no longer a virgin and swearing like a sailor. When he went home he'd have to keep that habit in check.

"Shi–er, uh, I mean, sorry." He shook his head. Yep. He was dead.

Anne snorted on the other end. "Are you doing okay? You sound tired."

"It's been a long week." He said, and he wasn't lying.

"Do you want to come home?"

"Mum, I'm coming home tomorrow." He smiled. "You don't miss me that bad do you?"

"I'm your mother, of course I miss you. Gemma has been with her friends all week and hasn't come home."

Harry stopped. The realization of that statement clicked in his brain. His mum had been left alone all week; of course she was lonely. Harry had never felt worse about himself than he had at that moment. First, he skipped out on Christmas with his own family then missed New Years too, leaving his mum all by herself? He let out an exasperated sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm...I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Harry. I knew this day would come, I just thought it wouldn't be so soon." She sounded somber but like she was smiling. "The most important thing is that you're safe and having fun. How's Louis?"

"He's great, mum." He said, smiling at the thought of his sleeping boyfriend in the other room. "He's really great."

She asked him some more questions, such as how Niall was doing and so on, and Harry told her about the New Years party and how Eleanor had been there. His mum was quiet when he told her that story but then he quickly moved onto the EP, explaining how it was going to be released the second week of January.

"That's amazing Harry, I'm so proud of you." She said.

He smiled. "Thanks, mum."

She was silent for a moment then took a breath. "Harry, can I ask you something?"

His brows furrowed. "Of course."

"Are you sure this is something you really want to do?" She asked. "Like, I understand it's fun, but you know this is a big commitment, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

She sighed. "Okay. Just know some kids might treat you differently at school. They might want to use you just to get to Louis, it's not uncommon for that to happen. Once your name gets out there the media will try to create their own twist on stories that might be the complete opposite of what actually happened. Are you prepared for that?"

Harry nodded though she couldn't see him. "Yeah, as long as I'm with Louis everything will be fine."

There was a pause. "Okay. I love you, I'll see you when you get home."

"Love you. Bye." Harry heard the line disconnect and he let his phone drop on the couch next to him. He sighed, running a hand over his face.

XxX


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank all the people who are reading/commenting as well as the silent readers! :) you are all amazing! <3

XxX

"I'm sorry I called you an Irish cunt. And yelled at you. And threatened to kill you in my head." Louis said.

Niall raised his eyebrows but Harry nudged him. He sighed. "It's okay. I'm sorry I hate you."

Louis shrugged. "Happens when you're in love with your best friend."

Niall's eyes narrowed and Zayn pressed his hand over Louis' face, chuckling.

"You always have to have the last word, don't you? Just be humble for once."

Louis spluttered and swatted Zayn's hand away. "Says the one shagging him. How many times have you two done it?"

"More than you and Harry." Zayn mocked, throwing his jacket over Niall's shoulder. "Take that, it's cold outside."

A shy smile bloomed on his face and Louis rolled his eyes.

"You two are disgusting."

"Now just imagine what you and Harry look like." Zayn lifted a suggestive eyebrow at Harry and he grinned.

He, Niall, Liam, and Sophia were headed home today. Yesterday, Louis had woken up a few hours later and crawled onto the barstool and Harry made a hot dinner for him, still in an insanely bad mood but after retiring to the bathroom for a solid ten minutes he came back more energetic and cheerful than ever. Liam and Sophia got back an hour later, soon followed by Zayn and Niall. Apparently they had gone out for a fancy dinner at some over-priced restaurant then spent the rest of the night at the suite making Jell-O shots just for the hell of it. Niall, being Niall, hid multiple shots on Louis' side of the bed so when he crawled under his covers ready to sleep and felt something cold and jiggly smear cross his chest, a full-blown fight broke out. Of course, it was all lighthearted and only consisted of smashing boiled powder in each other's hair. The suite was a mess and Harry felt bad for the maids who had to clean it once they left.

After last night's shower and peaceful sleep, they were all packed and ready to go, thus bringing them to now. Harry was forcing Louis and Niall to apologize to each other, and Zayn and Niall were being disgustingly clingy. Harry and Louis almost felt bad for all the times they had done the exact same thing. It was the sickening fond looks they sent each other across the room and how they immediately did trivial tasks just from the sake of infatuation.

Harry had also sat Niall down post-Jell-O fight and shower and asked him if he was mad about the Louis situation. He wasn't, and told Harry how him and Zayn both agreed that they were both lonely and needed someone right now so that's all they were. Friends with benefits. There weren't any strings attached; they had both decided that after this they would forget about it and move on. Zayn would find a nice girl to date and eventually marry and Niall would start looking for love in the right places. Harry simply nodded but knew there was more to it than that, though once Niall was done talking about it he didn't dare coddle him over it.

Louis brought his hand up to Harry's cheek. He was in a considerably better mood today and there was hardly a trace of exhaustion in his system. He had been jumping around all morning and almost snuck out to go buy a karaoke set so he could sing and dance nude on the coffee table, but Harry had to hold him back. All this energy was coming out of nowhere and Harry felt his head spinning as Louis shot back retorts left and right, occasionally stopping to kiss Harry then going the full ninety miles once more. He even knocked over the lamp in the living room in the middle of his hyper mode, which he'd have to probably pay for later.

"Harry, while I'm gone, I'm going to send you lots of presents, okay?" Louis spoke quickly, tapping his fingers on the counter. "I can send you flowers, chocolates, souvenirs, shoes, hell, I can even buy you a new house. Do you want a new house?"

"Louis," Harry chuckled, restraining his hands from their rapid movements. "it's okay, you don't have to get me anything."

Louis jutted his bottom lip out. "But I'm going to miss you! I won't see you for a while. Can you come on tour with me?"

Harry shrugged. "I dunno, Lou. I still have school to go back to."

Louis groaned dramatically and let his head drop to the counter. "Why is life so unfair?" He fake cried, and Harry rubbed his back.

"My exams are the end of June, I'll be done before you know it."

Louis snorted, and Harry pressed a kiss to his hair. Niall, Liam, and Sophia were waiting at the door and Harry grabbed his suitcase and coat. Nicholas had been instructed to drive them back to the private jet where they would be flown home, and Harry wasn't looking forward to getting back into his usual, boring routine where he would be away from Louis. They'd spent a whole two weeks together and he didn't know how he'd be able to function without Louis by his side.

As Harry was buttoning up his coat, Louis pulled him in by his lapels and kissed him hard. Harry responded as equally fierce and Louis pulled apart, his eyes flickering back and forth.

"I'll miss you." He said.

"I'll miss you too." Harry said, and kissed him again. He pulled away so their lips were ghosting against each other, their eyelids still shut. "I love you."

Louis hummed contently. "I love you more." They kissed one last time before Harry followed his friends and Nicholas out the door, casting one last glance to Louis before shutting the door. Louis sighed and sat on the barstool, leaning his elbows on the counter. Zayn was picking up the aftermath of the scattered pillows and miscellaneous garbage.

"So. Niall, huh?"

Zayn paused and looked at Louis. He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah. It just kind of happened."

"Tell me. I'm quite curious." Louis sat forward on his knees. Zayn threw the trash away and sat on the barstool next to Louis. He sighed.

"Well, I had a shoot the day after the party since it got canceled once and I had to reschedule twice. Obviously I wasn't expecting Perrie to breakup with me so I thought the shoot was going to be a lot harder than usual." His eyes shimmered. "I was with Niall and I asked him to come with me. I don't know why, I just knew I didn't want to be alone surrounded by people just strictly business who don't really care about my personal life. Yeah, they've known me for years, but there's just something about Niall. He's always so cheerful and always wants everyone to be happy, especially Harry."

Louis scoffed. "Yeah, I've gotten that much."

Zayn cast him a look. "I mean, Perrie broke up with me and I invested so much time into her that it was like my world had ended. I didn't really know what to do with myself because without Perrie who am I?" He pursed his lips and shook his head. "But having Niall with me made me forget for a while. He knows I'm still not over it and we were just using each other as a distraction. There's no attachment."

Louis blinked. "You sure about that? Last time I checked giving an article of clothing was a sign of a budding relationship."

Zayn nudged him. "He's just a friend."

Louis scoffed. "Yeah, a friend you've shagged and given one of your most prized jackets to. You don't even let me borrow them!"

"Yeah, well that's because you lose them!" Zayn laughed. "I trust him. I know he wouldn't do anything intentionally harmful."

"That's debatable." Louis picked at his nails. Zayn frowned.

"He hates you only because you haven't allowed him to like you. You flaunt Harry in his face purposely and he doesn't really appreciate it."

Louis shrugged. "His fault for not telling him sooner. As they say, the early bird gets the worm."

Zayn scoffed. "Anyway, we both agreed to forget about it."

Louis raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

"What else are we supposed to do? It would never work out. I'm always in London or France and he's up in Cheshire."

Louis shrugged. "You could always buy him a plane ticket to come visit, that's what I do with Harry. You know you have more than enough money."

Zayn chuckled. "I know. I just don't think it would be fair. He loves Harry and I still love Perrie. It would end badly."

"I see your point." Louis said, getting out the kettle and making himself some tea. Zayn toyed with the ends of his long-sleeve shirt.

"What do you think I should do?"

Louis blinked and looked up from the sink. "Are you, Zayn Malik, the one who was in a relationship for years and got laid the night after you broke up, asking me for relationship advice?"

"Shut up." Zayn chided, wanting to wipe the smirk off of Louis' face. "Just answer the question."

Louis laughed. "Well you are Zayn, and you can do whatever the hell you want. I found Harry interesting enough that I went back, you could always do that with Niall."

"Yeah, but I run the risk of being rejected." He sighed. "He loves Harry."

"So? I still love my dead dog but that doesn't stop me from loving Harry."

Zayn stared at him. "Are you comparing me and Niall to your dead dog?"

Louis let out a strangled cackle and Zayn threw a decorative pillow at him.

XxX

Later that night after they had gotten home, Liam and Sophia had gone home while Harry was settling back in his room. Niall knocked on his door and Harry looked up and smiled.

"You don't have to knock, Ni. You can just come in."

"I know," He smiled, "it just feels so weird now."

He sat on the end of Harry's bed and played with the covers as Harry unpacked. He threw most of his things into a laundry pile since he'd been re-wearing the same clothes for two weeks. The moment he'd gotten home, there had been a present from Louis on his bed. It was a stack of Polaroid's of the pictures they had gotten in their photo shoot for the EP. It came with a small magnetic rope so each picture could be hung up on display. Harry had a feeling he'd be getting a lot of presents within the next month and especially for his birthday. He was turning eighteen in less than a month and it almost seemed surreal to him. He just hoped Louis' schedule didn't get in the way, leaving them unable to see each other. Even if they had to call over the phone or Skype it would be better than nothing.

Niall was looking to the floor, much like he had been the night after Christmas. Harry had a slight déjà vu and sat next to Niall.

"What's up?"

Niall crinkled his nose and shrugged. "I dunno. We both went to London virgins and came back not." He grinned at Harry and they just stared before both bursting into laughter. It seemed like minutes before the sound finally died down and even then they kept having fits of giggles.

"What happened to us," Harry chuckled, "we used to be so innocent."

"I know right." Niall leaned on the end of Harry's bedframe. "I don't even think Liam and Sophia have done it yet and they've been together longer than we've been alive."

Harry smiled and looked at his fingers. His hands already felt so empty without Louis' fingers filling the space. He tried to swallow the disheartened feeling in his chest. The past two weeks had been fun but now he had to come back to reality. He still had to graduate and Louis had a tour to go on. Harry had to keep reminding himself to keep his perspective of their two completely different lifestyles. He was still a student and Louis was in the adult world.

"Are you and Zayn like a thing now?" He asked, wanting to not think about himself for a while. It'd been ages since he actually had a heart-to-heart talk with Niall and not just to skirt around the actual question. His talk with Niall the other day had been cut short because Louis had been rampaging about something and Harry was the only known person - alive - who could calm him down. Niall shrugged.

"I mean, I dunno. I told you we both agreed to let it go, but it's kind of hard now that we're apart." He looked at Harry. "He took something special from me that I can't ever get back. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it's just I don't really know what to do now."

Harry nodded. "I know what you mean. It's kind of like a part of you is missing."

"Yeah." Niall said quietly, and they were left in silence. Neither of them really knew what to talk about next, so Niall just helped Harry unpack and take his laundry downstairs.

The rest of the night they watched television until they passed out on the couch from exhaustion. Anne walked past and smiled, draping a blanket over both of them and turned off the television.

XxX

Harry was engrossed in a quiz when he felt his phone buzz. He scowled and shut it off. He needed to focus. It was the third week of January, meaning Louis had started his tour and the EP had only been released last weekend. Harry's name was spreading around the media like a wildfire and many kids at his school brought their hardcopy to school the next week for him to sign. He felt like a celebrity with all the attention he was getting but it also got annoying, because whenever he was with Niall, Liam, or any of his friends he was always interrupted with classmates asking tons of questions. He eventually had to start telling people he didn't give out autographs, which they would walk away sulking.

Adjusting back to his normal life had been hard. Not as much for Niall, but Harry could tell when he was having off days by the way he stared off into space. He was probably still thinking about Zayn and wondering if it was still worth it to pursue anything. Harry honestly empathized with him. He didn't want to keep bringing the topic back up but knew inside Niall was dying for an answer. It seemed like he was waiting for Zayn to reach out but at the same time was just trying to get over him. Harry couldn't really tell. At the same time, Harry was glad Niall had seemed to move on from his small crush. It made life a lot easier not having that elephant hiding in the corner of the room each time they were together. Harry felt like he could finally relax knowing Niall didn't like him in that way anymore.

There were days when Harry just wanted to go back to the break when him and Louis fell asleep tangled together under the sheets and would wake up and eat breakfast together. He felt rather lonely waking up in his bed that seemed a little bit bigger with the loss of presence and hearing his fork clatter against the plate with no echo to follow it. In the morning he got dressed alone and either walked to school or had Niall pick him up. Either way, his life felt void of any excitement and he almost felt like he was going insane. He didn't know how he ever lived before Louis came into his life.

When Niall glanced at him from the side he pressed a little too hard on his pencil and made the lead break. He scowled and Harry had to conceal his laughter as he slid out of his desk to go sharpen it.

By the end of class they walked to Harry's locker and he finally checked his phone. He had two messages.

From: Lou

Call me as soon as you get this

From: Lou

P.S. I love you :) x

"Who is it?" Niall asked, and Harry grinned.

"It's Louis. He wants me to call him."

"Can't it wait? He probably just wants to gush about how good your arse looks in those trousers." Niall said, folding his arms. Harry turned around to look.

"Do they really?"

Niall rolled his eyes playfully. "Go call him, I'm sure it'll be quick."

Harry bit his lip gleefully and called him. He heard the dial tone and pressed a finger to his ear so he could hear. The line connected and Harry smiled.

"Hi."

"Hi Harry." Louis said, sounding better than ever. There was a slight singsong tone to his voice and it sounded light and feathery. He must be having fun. "So you'll never guess what!"

"Uh, you made number one in the charts?"

"No, but close!"

"Okay, I'm out of ideas."

Louis paused and Harry waited in anticipation. "My agent said you can come on tour with me!"

Harry's mouth dropped. "You're kidding?"

"Nope, he said since the EP was released it wouldn't make sense to have another mini tour lined up for the fall and it would cost more money than would be earned. So," He took a breath, "he gave me permission to cordially invite you to join me on tour and perform with me on stage."

Harry grinned, and if Louis were in front of him he'd kiss him. "I can't believe it. So are you still in London?"

"Yeah, I've had my first two shows already. They've gone great, they really have." Harry could hear the way Louis was practically beaming. "I'm not lip singing anymore. It's so nerve-racking but every time I get up it gets easier. I can't even tell you how happy I am that this tour is working out, I might honestly have a chance, Harry."

"Well of course you have a chance, Lou!" Harry said, turning away from the crowd. "You're brilliant, don't ever forget that."

He knew Louis was smiling. "Thanks. So are you going to fly to London?"

"Today?" Harry faltered.

"Well of course today! It's Friday, right?"

His brows furrowed. "Yeah, but I still have school-"

"Harry," Louis interjected, "would you rather be with me or miss a few weeks of school? You'll just stay in the country; it'll probably be some type of exclusive concert, I don't think my agent would let you come with us outside of the UK. I miss you, and besides, I can't sing those songs without you."

Harry sighed, hearing the bell for class ring. He'd deal with the teacher in a minute; he had to sort this out first. "I mean, I'll ask, but I don't know how my mum will feel about me missing school."

"She loves you and she loves me, so it'll be alright." Louis said. "Just let me know so we can send a private jet your way."

"Okay," Harry said, feeling more somber about the situation than he should. He should be excited; Louis' tour was so far successful and their EP sales were doing great, so why did he feel like it was a really bad idea?

"Hey, curly." Louis said, and Harry was brought out of his stupor. He smiled at the old nickname.

"What?"

"I love you."

Harry grinned. "Forever and ever."

Louis hung up and Harry was left alone in the halls. He lowered his phone and put it in his pocket. He stood there for a while, thinking through the whole situation. So Louis was inviting him on the UK leg of his tour, huh? Well, Harry definitely wouldn't complain if he got to see Louis again since it'd felt like ages since they'd last touched, but he still felt wrong about it. The EP was mostly for fun, he hadn't expected to gain anything from it. It was his and Louis' way of solidifying their relationship and showing their loyalty to the other.

Harry slowly put in the combination to his locker and opened it. An envelope fluttered to the ground and he picked it up. When he opened it, he saw there was a picture inside of him and Louis on the bridge back in Prague. Harry's head was pressed next to Louis' pointing out to the distance. Louis' hands were set neatly on the edge of the bridge as he looked across the view, a grin set on his lips. Harry blinked, wondering who could've possibly taken it. He flipped over the picture to see neatly scrawled handwriting on the back.

Always in my heart, Harry Styles.

Sincerely, Louis.

He smiled and slipped the picture back into the envelope. He set it in the top section of his locker and closed it, heading to class. Yeah, being with Louis definitely wasn't a bad idea.

XxX


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Smut, usual swearing

XxX

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles on tour!

Louis Tomlinson starts tour for new album, brings potential popstar with him.

Louis Tomlinson takes apprentice under his wing – Harry Styles!

Harry Styles, the new Louis Tomlinson?

Lights flashed brightly outside the windows. Screams filled the air as Louis and Harry stepped out of the black car, accompanied by Nicholas and Phil. Cameras lenses shuttered as they were led down a narrow path carved out by security. Louis glanced back to make sure Harry was still with him. Nicholas had a secure hold on Harry's shoulder as they avoided the outstretched hands and notepads. They came to a clearing where a lady and a cameraman were waiting and Harry felt his blood pounding as the camera zoomed in on their faces.

"Louis, it's good to see such a new face traveling around, you're quite the talk in the media!" The lady said. Louis smiled.

"Yes, thank you."

The lady turned to Harry. "And you're his little apprentice, Harry Styles?"

Harry nodded stiffly and Louis had to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing his hand to squeeze it reassuringly.

"What made you want to tour with Louis?" She held the microphone out to him.

Harry blinked, and Louis bit the inside of his cheek. Harry hardly had any media training from the time he flew to London to now. He'd been told things not to say, one of them mentioning any sort of relationship between him and Louis and another being Eleanor. His agent wanted them to avoid as many questions as possible about that. Other than the minimum Harry had to think on his feet and Louis didn't know how he would answer under stress.

"Ehm, I think it was so we could get our names out there," Harry clenched his fists nervously. "Releasing a new album is always difficult because you never know the outcome."

The lady nodded and Louis let out a sigh of relief.

"Alright, well thank you!" She turned back to the camera. "That was Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, everyone."

Phil and Nicholas pulled them through the entrance of the building where Mr. Walter was waiting patiently.

"There you are! Now, Louis," Mr. Walter began rattling off a list of things to do and Harry was struggling to even walk fast enough to keep up. Thankfully, Nicholas seemed to take pity and stayed right by his side. Just hopefully Harry didn't have to know any of the information Mr. Walter was spouting, he'd leave all the details to Louis.

After a curt goodbye, Louis and Harry were led to the dressing room. Their designers handed them their outfits and they were quickly dressed and they were moved over to get their hair done. Lou plopped Louis into the seat first before combing through his hair, adding a small swirl to the tip. Harry remembered her from the photo shoot a few weeks ago and her daughter came carousing up to him. Her name was Lux, and Harry played with her until Lou tugged him onto the chair. She styled his hair nicely before the two were ushered out to backstage.

Harry felt his knees collapsing underneath him. He'd never performed in front of this many people; even in their sound check yesterday it had still been nerve-racking. Louis squeezed his hand tightly and Harry looked at him.

"You don't have to say anything, just smile and wave." He said, and Harry nodded.

They heard the intro video start and Harry breathed in and out deeply. He didn't know the exact technique to calm his erratic heart rate but he knew just looking at Louis made it better. Not ever in his life had he experienced something like this.

The stage crew pushed Harry and Louis to the curtains, and Louis pressed a quick kiss to Harry's knuckles before they were drawn. The lights instantly blinded Harry and he resisted the urge to cover his eyes. Screams filled the surrounding area and lights flashed all around them. The intro to the music started and Louis strolled forward, raising his hand.

"How is everyone tonight?" He shouted, earning a chorus of screams. "Yeah, well I'd like to introduce you to someone." He beckoned Harry to come forward and snaked his arm around his waist behind his blazer. "This is my good pal Harry Styles, he'll be joining me for this leg of the tour!"

There were screams again and Harry waved sheepishly. Louis broke the hold on his waist and walked forward, bending down to touch fans hands. Harry stood back and watched Louis do his thing, patting his hand on his leg to the beat.

Louis sang the first song, and then the light fixtures changed. Harry jumped at the loud noises coming from the speakers and looked out to the crowd. The girls were watching him with an amused face and he smiled. Louis interacted with the crowd for a bit before turning back to Harry.

"My dear Harold, I believe it is time for you to show off that voice of yours." He winked and Harry had to bit his lip. The music started and Harry gripped the microphone in his hand, closing his eyes then opening when he part came.

As he sang, he stayed put all while Louis ran around, picking up things fans had thrown on the stage and either playing with them for a bit or throwing them back out. When it came to the chorus, Louis rejoined Harry at the top of the stage, and then walked forward when his solo came.

"Better than words, drive ya crazy," He turned around and got on one knee and pointed to Harry, "someone like you, always be my baby."

Harry grinned and stalked forward as Louis pretended to pull him in by a rope. "Best I ever had, hips don't lie, you make me wanna–" He rubbed a hand down his body, making the girls in the crowd scream, "one more night. Irreplaceable." Harry held the microphone away from his lips as Louis stood up. "Crazy," Louis echoed him with a "crazy," and they went into the chorus.

After the concert was over, Harry and Louis waved to the crowd before retreating back stage. They gripped each other in a tight hug and Louis pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

"You did brilliant!" He said, snuggling into Harry's neck. "Absolutely brilliant!"

Harry picked him up and Louis wrapped his legs around his waist. He carried Louis to a dressing room and made sure it was vacant before letting him drop to the couch. Louis fumbled to get his trousers off while Harry locked the door and shut off the light. The moon illuminated the room through the windows as Harry straddled Louis, peeling off his shirt and threw it to the floor. Louis sat up and pressed their lips together, making haste to remove Harry's trousers and underwear.

Louis pushed Harry down to the couch so now he was on top and slid his jeans to his ankles. Harry still had his shoes on and Louis' shirt was still clinging to his torso but they were too impatient to take them off. The longer Louis pressed his body against Harry's the harder they became. He sucked on Harry's neck, making him squirm and moan. Louis detached his lips and slid his fingers in to prep Harry but suddenly stopped.

"We don't have a condom."

"Fuck it, just go." Harry panted, moving his hips to feel as much as he could. Louis grunted as he pushed in past the knuckles, scissoring and twisting his fingers around. Harry grabbed his cock and began pumping but Louis swatted it away.

"Stop it," He said, "I want you to come with me inside of you."

Harry swallowed as his gaze fixated on the ceiling. Louis propped Harry's hips up and pushed in him slowly, his mouth dropping open in a silent gasp. Harry pulled Louis' hips closer to his body until his balls hit the base of Louis' legs. He moaned as Louis moved his hips slow and tantalizing, until he increased the speed. He squeezed Harry's ribs as they both found a rhythm that hit Harry's prostate with each thrust.

"F-Fuck, Louis," Harry said, squinting his eyes shut. He wrapped his hand around his cock and began pumping, Louis too occupied angling his hips upward to send a ripple of pleasure up Harry's spine each time. He stroked faster and faster until he came violently on his stomach, Louis following suit moments later. He pulled out halfway through and some spilled onto the couch. Harry rolled onto the floor, arse raw and muscles contracting. Louis sat back on the far left cushion, his dick hanging limp and he let out a winded laugh.

"What are you doing?"

Harry didn't reply immediately. He stood up and pulled his briefs and trousers back up his legs, shimmying into them. His chest was still heaving and his cock was sore from yanking too hard. His eyes froze on the couch and Louis' gaze travelled in that direction. His face went stoic.

"Louis..."

Louis blinked, slapping a hand over his mouth. "Shit."

There was a clear stain of cum on the couch cushion. Louis stuffed his cock back in his pants and tripped over the dragging fabric of his trousers as he scrambled to find some tissue. He found a towel and threw it to Harry, who wiped it off but to no avail. There was a dark smudge that definitely didn't look like water. They stared at it, utterly stumped.

"Um..." Harry and Louis looked at each other sheepishly then bolted out of the room, shirts and hair disheveled and cheeks flushed.

They composed themselves before entering their actual dressing room. They were then led back to the car where Mr. Walter was waiting in the back seat. They surely hoped neither of them smelled like sex or that would definitely raise some questions.

Mr. Walter was flipping through his clipboard on the ride home. Harry and Louis' hands were intertwined, sending each other glances that only insinuated what was to come. They were broke out of their reverie in each other's eyes when Mr. Walter cleared his throat.

"I'm very proud of you, Louis. You've come a long way since your first charity concert."

Louis' fingers danced on Harry's leg. "Thank you."

"And Harry," Mr. Walter leaned forward to look at him, "you have a natural talent for performing. I know you were nervous since it was your first time but you shine on stage. It really shows."

Harry beamed. "Thanks."

Louis squeezed his leg and Harry felt a frisson run up his spine. He was almost half-asleep when Louis' breathed tingled against his ear, fully awaking every part of his body.

"Hey, when we get back, we can celebrate by taking a bath..."

Harry slowly backed away, seeing the deviously lustrous gleam in his eye. He forced himself to swallow and blinked slowly.

"You're up for another round?"

The smirk on Louis' face answered his question. He began teasing Harry by trailing his fingers up his leg, then stopping right at the crevice of his hip and thigh, then would start over. Harry huffed in agitation. He hated when Louis did that to him, it made him horny all over again and pressed his cock against his briefs. It was uncomfortable and begged for attention, which Harry fully intended Louis to give him a full body treatment tonight.

When they arrived at their hotel they wasted no time going to their bedroom. Phil and Nicholas seemed to understand what they were doing, and held Mr. Walter back by asking him questions about the upcoming tour schedule. Harry grabbed his iPod and locked the bathroom door behind him, turning on a Moby playlist and slowly turning up the volume. Louis smirked and sauntered towards Harry, pressing a sultry kiss to his lips and sliding the iPod from his hand. He adjusted the bass volume so the tub filled with water trembled with each note.

They slid into the hot, bubbly pine-scented water, and Harry felt his muscles relax just at the touch. They were facing each other, Louis legs pressed to the inside of Harry's thighs, letting the water seep into their skin. Eventually, Louis scooted over to Harry's side of the tub and squirted soap into his hand, beckoning Harry to turn around. He slathered on the substance onto Harry's back and massaged his scalp with shampoo. Harry leaned into the touch, letting out a sigh of contentment.

"I love you." He said sweetly. Louis smiled.

The bubbly water kept rippling with each bass line. Louis washed the soap off of Harry's back and pressed tender kisses to the side of his neck. Harry craned his neck so Louis would have better access, and he felt Louis' hands slid down his arms and ghost his teeth along his flesh, pressing wet kisses to his skin. Harry felt a shudder run through his system and turned around, capturing Louis in a heated kiss. Louis wrapped his legs around Harry's torso, their cocks pressed against each other. They rubbed their slick bodies together and before they knew it had fallen into a rough motion, spilling bubbly water over the side of the tub.

Louis pushed Harry towards the head of the tub where the drain was located. The protruding metal rubbed against Harry's hole and he let out an aroused squeal. Louis took this as his chance to push his tongue into his mouth, completely filling the space. Louis fingered his way down to Harry's arse, pushing one finger in while the metal continually rubbed against him. He let out a moan and Louis pulled away breathless.

"I'm going to make you feel good." His pitch was low. Harry swallowed and nodded compliantly, apprehension swirling in his eyes.

Louis pressed their flushed bodies together, their cocks stuck between their torsos, and pushed in a second finger. Harry took in a sharp breath as Louis moved his finger in and out deliberately. Harry bit the juncture of Louis' neck to silence his groans as Louis' persistent movements continued.

Louis loved the control he had over Harry. He was in the palm of his hand and submissive to his every touch. Whenever Louis would simply move the pad of his finger Harry would react accordingly; whether it be his sinful lips parting in a breathy moan or writhing underneath Louis until he was a whimpering mess. Their gazes became foggy from the steam rising around them, circulating to the ceiling and into their skin.

Louis easily lifted Harry up by his thighs and positioned his cock at his entrance. Water splashed over the sides of the tub and Harry urged him ton continue. Louis pushed Harry's hips down, letting his large cock fill Harry entirely.

"Are you alright?" He asked, water beads rolling down his face. Harry nodded and Louis pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "Move."

Harry did as he said, moving up, down, forward and back so tantalizingly slow that Louis' pressed bruises into the dip of Harry's hips. In water everything felt lighter – the way Harry's cock bobbed against his stomach, the way he so easily moved up and down, the way their pruned fingers pressed against skin and cheeks flushed from the steam. The pine scent was intoxicating and they both felt a rush of adrenaline run through their systems. Harry took his hold off of Louis' shoulder to grip the side of the tub. He pushed Louis' cock into him until he felt his thighs beneath him. Louis let out a moan.

The ambient music pulsed through the water and tickled their skin. Harry gasped and got off of Louis, picking him up by his thighs, their lips still attached, and stepped over the side of the tub. He laid Louis on the waterlogged rug and he cringed at the cold touch. Harry wiped away the damp hair from his forehead.

"I want to come in your mouth." Harry said. Louis' eyes flashed mysteriously and he nodded.

He sat up and Harry laid back on the drenched rug, panting and palming his cock. Louis smacked his hand away and stroked from the base to tip before taking Harry in his mouth. Harry squirmed and tangled his fingers in Louis' wet hair. He tugged and pulled on his head to push his cock further into his throat and swore Louis' throat was endless. He simply took his length with ease, swirling his tongue around and fondling his balls. Harry let out a ragged gasp as his cock leaked more and more until he finally came in a violent burst. Louis came shortly after and cum dribbled down his lip. Harry smirked and kissed him.

"We're all dirty again."

Louis breathed heavily before smiling slyly. "What can I say? I'm a filthy boy." He wiped Harry's cum off his lip with his thumb and licked the rest of it off. Harry forced himself to swallow the knot in his throat.

After the initial calming, they both took time to actually look at the bathroom. The tub had been empty, but now it was only half filled while the rest of the water and bubbles were on the floor. It had seeped across the whole bathroom tile and out into the carpet in the other room. Oops.

"I think we, uh," Harry chuckled, looking around the whole bathroom. The mirror was fogged up and there was probably going to be some water damage in the corner of the wall. "clean this up."

Louis giggled. "You think?"

Harry nudged him and stood up, getting a view to fully examine the damage they caused. Well, they had fun, so that was all that mattered.

"You don't think they'll notice, do you?" Louis asked, and he was obviously being rhetorical by the way he couldn't stop laughing. Harry grinned.

"Nope."

XxX


	35. Chapter 35

XxX

It was the eighth day of the tour. They had traveled all around the UK and up to Scotland, and now they were headed to Wales and Ireland. Harry informed Niall that he was going to his home country, and Niall jabbered on the phone to him for hours, catching Harry up with every detail about his relatives. He wanted Harry to go visit and say hi for him, but after Harry hung up he rolled his eyes. Why would he want to go visit Niall's relatives when he was with Louis?

They finished their concert and met in the dressing room, lips locked and clothes immediately discarded. After having a moment there, they went to a nearby club, clothing stained and disheveled and high off of love. They both grabbed drinks and went to the middle of the mosh pit, lazily grinding against each other, spilling their drinks on random people and dancing without a care in the world. Harry didn't remember a time not having fun with Louis – it was always a party.

Harry watched Louis dance in the middle, clapping his hands and doing a tango with strangers. Louis eventually caroused up to Harry, bobbing his head to the beat and pulled him to the center. They danced and when Louis went to spin him around, Harry went the opposite direction making his arm bend the wrong way. Everyone laughed and clapped and Louis raised his drinks, pulling Harry to his chest and kissing him hard. The crowd cheered louder and Harry dropped his drink to the floor, digging his thumbs into the corners of Louis' mouth.

Phil and Nicholas had to come and drag them out of the club – since they had snuck out to go there in the first place; they were in a bit of trouble – and took them to the airport where they had a flight in twenty minutes. Throughout the whole ride they were giggling, teasing each other and flicking invisible lint off of their clothing. They stared at each other stupidly and caressed each others cheeks, singing whatever songs came to their mind. At one point they were pretending to nip at each other until Harry actually licked Louis' collar bone, then he pounced on him and snogged Harry right there, seatbelts still on and everything. Nicholas wasn't met with a very lovely sight when he glanced in the rearview mirror.

They were completely smashed by the time they arrived at the airport. They were on the upward high before they completely crashed, and they were more boisterous than Phil and Nicholas had ever heard before. They kept dancing and at one point, Harry pulled out his iPod and put it on shuffle, forgetting to put his ear buds in and disturbing everyone around them. Louis giggled and held up the end of the earbuds.

"Haarryyy you forgot to plug it in."

"What?" He looked down at his phone. He a dopey smile came on his face. "Oh."

"Is this Chandelier?" Louis asked, hooking his chin over Harry's shoulder. "I love this song."

Harry laughed as Louis struck a pose. He immediately began reenacting the music video and was attracting attention left and right. Phil pushed Louis forward and Nicholas and Harry followed suit.

"IIIII'm gonna swiiiiiing from the chandelierrrr!" Louis belted, throwing his hands out and twirling in circles. "From the chandelieeerrrrr!"

"Louis, you're in an airport." Phil scolded, and Louis promptly flipped him off.

"IIIIII'm gonna liiiiiiive like tomorrow doesn't exiiiiist!" He was still spinning until he ran into a security guard, immediately backing away. "Well hello sir, top of the morning." He saluted and Phil immediately yanked Louis back.

"He's contained." Phil said, and the security guard sent him a suspicious nod. As he turned and walked away Louis stuck his tongue out. Phil set his hand on top of his head. "Louis, stop. You're making a scene."

"Well what scene is it?" Louis asked petulantly. "Emo or skater?"

Phil sighed and led Louis forward by keeping his hand on his shoulder. Harry followed behind, the speakers on his phone still blaring. Occasionally Louis would break out into song again but was quickly hushed with the promise if he was quiet now he could be as loud as he wanted on the plane. That definitely seemed to work as he stumbled through the airport. Their private plane was waiting for them and Phil and Nicholas had to help the two get up the steps and take another trip to grab their luggage. Once they were seated, Louis immediately began to chatter nonstop.

"Your taste in music sucks!"

"Yeah well at least I'm better at it than you!"

Louis glared at Harry then at the package of peanuts that was set on his tray. "Peanuts? I want raisins!"

"Raisins are gross." Harry scrunched his nose.

Louis sneered. "You're gross."

"Your mom's gross!"

Phil and Nicholas sighed. Nicholas sent a quick text to Mr. Walter to let them know they were headed back to London, and suddenly Louis let out a loud screech.

"Harry they have craisins! We're getting craisins!"

"But I hate craisins." Harry whined.

"But you love me." Louis jutted his bottom lip out.

Harry smiled dumbly. "Okay, then I love craisins."

The seatbelt light turned on and they buckled up, and Louis squealed in protest when Harry pulled his seatbelt too tight.

"Ow! That hurt you curly haired cunt!"

Harry shouted a retort and Nicholas chuckled in amusement.

"Quite the boisterous couple, aren't they?" He said. Phil nodded.

"They compliment each other."

Louis screeched something about spilled water and it looked like he weed himself, and Harry proceeded to hammer him with more insults. Nicholas pulled out a book, smiling.

"Indeed they do."

XxX

They arrived in London with a killer hangover. They both trudged out of the plane, and Louis got a piggyback from Phil half of the time through the airport much to his chagrin. Once they were set in the black range rover and headed back to a hotel, the two quickly fell asleep as the snowy scenery passed them by. The streetlights flashed past their car in a blur.

When they were at the hotel, Louis and Harry collapsed on the couch, too exhausted to make it to the room. Nicholas covered them with a blanket and went to bed.

In the morning, Harry woke up to the sound of his phone ringing in his pocket. He lifted his head and groaned, falling back down on the couch. Louis took in a deep breath as he flipped on his back.

"Harry," He croaked, "shut up."

Harry moaned and fisted his phone out of his pocket, squinting his eyes at the caller ID. It was Anne. This couldn't be good.

"Mmm hello?"

"Hi Harry," She said, her tone sounding disapproving once again. Harry felt like he was going to have to get used to that. "how's the tour?"

"It's fine," He said as he sat up. Louis tugged the blanket from Harry's legs and curled up, the bottom of his toes peeking out. Harry smiled fondly at him.

"Where are you?"

Harry yawned, keeping his exhausted eyes closed. "We just landed in London last night."

"Okay. You were coming home today right?"

Harry snorted. "I dunno."

"You've already missed a lot of school, and his agent just said he needed you for this part of the tour, right? So why don't you just come home?"

He scowled. "I don't know, mum. I need to ask him, I've only just woken up."

Anne was quiet on the other end. Harry should've seen this coming; of course his mother was going to get on his case about missing so much school. He didn't see the big deal about it, he was learning just as much touring around as he was at school, it was just more fun this way plus he got to be with Louis. He found being on tour more beneficial so didn't see why his mum was fussing about it.

"Harry–"

"I'll call you later, okay? After I've talked to Louis and Mr. Walter." He said, his patience running thin. He hung up without waiting for a response and dropped his phone to the floor. He laid back down next to Louis, pulling him closer by the waist. Louis hummed in contentment and Harry pressed a soft kiss behind his ear.

"Who was that?" He asked.

"My mum. She wants me to come home today."

Louis scowled. "Why?"

Harry shrugged. "Dunno. I'm missing too much school for her liking."

Louis scoffed. "What's another week? You're smart, you'll catch up just fine."

"That's what I'm saying but she doesn't think so." Harry said. He felt peevish now, not exactly the way he wanted to spend his last day with Louis, if he went home at all. He'd missed a week, so what? Back when he used to get sick often he missed way more school and still passed. His mum was overreacting.

The rest of the morning was relaxing. The next show didn't start for three more days, which started in Vienna, Austria. Louis had a plane to leave tomorrow, so the plan was Harry would go home today and his mum would pick him up. But frankly, Harry didn't want to go home, so he kept pushing the thought to the back of his mind.

Later that day, after ignoring as many calls from Niall, Gemma, and his mother as possible, Harry's phone rang in his pocket, cutting his laughter short. They had gone out for bowling and Louis even got Phil to participate. So far Louis was winning, then Phil, then Harry, then Nicholas. Nicholas threw the ball and it rolled straight into the gutter and he walked back dejectedly. Louis patted him on the shoulder, chuckling.

Harry excused himself irritably and went outside, wrapping one arm around his body while the other held up the phone to his ear. It was his mum again, and Harry's mood immediately plummeted.

"What?"

"You're going to be in a lot of trouble when you get home."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Okay, so?"

"We agreed that you would come home today. You've been ignoring my calls all day."

"Yeah, well what if I don't want to come home?"

"Harry," His mother snapped, and Harry knew he was in deep shit now, "you're a student, Louis is not. This is his career, not yours. You have a responsibility to your education and your family."

"Well I don't want to anymore! Mum, I'm almost eighteen years old, when are you going to stop treating me like a child?" Harry fumed.

"A child? Harry, being an adult means having responsibility and working, not dropping your entire life just for your boyfriend's sake."

"Well then our definition of 'adult' is much different." Harry's eyes quivered. "I'm not coming home."

"Harry Edward Styles, if you so much as–"

"What? What'll you do? I'm not five years old, it's not like you can force me to do anything! I can make my own decisions, mum, and I'm going with Louis whether you like it or not."

Anne was silent for a very long time. Harry didn't care, he was absolutely livid. As much as he didn't want to he was still going to go home, but now that his mother was chiding him for wanting to just be with Louis he wasn't going to comply. He felt guilty by the way he was so blatantly rebelling just despite her but he didn't care. His warm breaths came out in bursts in the cold air as he began to shiver. Who did she think she was? She couldn't tell him how to live his life anymore, he wasn't a child. He didn't need her anymore to make choices for him.

"Fine." She said, her voice eerily quiet. "But when you get home there will be major consequences."

"Like I care." Harry said, and hung up. He clenched his phone in his hand and raised it to throw it to the ground, then stopped. He let out an agitated sigh and ran his hands through his hair, pressing his palms to his eyelids. He really fucked up this time.

Harry walked back into the bowling alley feeling angry and tired. He just wanted to be with Louis but apparently that was too much to ask. As he sat down, Louis furrowed his eyebrows and plopping on Harry's lap and asked him what was wrong, but Harry brushed him off. Apparently Louis wasn't feeling up for playing the interrogational therapist role and scowled, saying something Harry didn't recall and ignored him the rest of the night, glaring at him each time they came in contact. 

The ride home wasn't much better; it was deathly silent and laced with awkward tension, and Nicholas tried to lighten the mood by showing them shadow tricks with his fingers. Louis sneered at him and Nicholas promptly turned around and stayed quiet the rest of the ride.

Louis and Harry spent the rest of the night in different rooms. All night Harry had been expecting a call from Gemma, or Niall, or even Liam, calling him to berate him for being such an idiot and convince him to come home and apologize, but when he didn't get one, he found himself crying as he fell asleep alone in the large bed.

XxX

Harry woke up the next morning shivering. His eyes were puffy and he felt like complete shit. His mum hated him and Louis was completely ignoring him and he probably ruined things with Niall for lying to him saying he visited his relatives in Ireland when he really didn't.

Harry sat up and looked to the side. The bed was still as empty as it had been when he crawled in it last night. Louis hadn't snuck in and apologized, he hadn't woken Harry up happily and bouncily like he usually did, and he was probably still going to treat him like a yellow starburst. Harry was too exhausted to deal with all this.

After a quick shower and running his fingers through his hair, he walked out to the kitchen in a badly matched outfit because he didn't have enough motivation to dig through his suitcase and find his white v-neck. Knowing Louis, he probably stole it. Harry scowled as he sat at the counter. Louis was already there waiting for Phil to finish cooking the eggs.

Harry glanced at Louis. He was glaring at the counter as if it had offended him, but Harry knew Louis was aware of his presence by the way his body slightly turned towards him. Harry tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently.

"Are you going to keep ignoring me?" He asked. Louis spared him a glare.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Harry's eyebrows furrowed. "Nothing's wrong."

"Then yes." Louis retorted, lifting his eyebrows and turning his attention back to Phil. Harry mouthed what the fuck as plates were set in front of both of them. Louis began eating immediately and Phil retreated to Louis' bedroom. Harry took a cautious bite and Phil returned with a small white bottle and set it in front of Louis. He gasped and snatched it before Harry got a chance to see what it was.

"What the fuck?" He shouted.

Phil gave him a look and Harry couldn't see the look Louis gave him back.

"I don't want to!"

"Louis, you have to."

Louis huffed and hopped off the barstool, yelling a "fuck you!" before slamming his bedroom door. Harry watched incredulously as Phil went back to cooking as if nothing were wrong. He sat there awkwardly, torn between feeling angry that Louis was being an utter asshole or concerned about what just took place in front of him. Louis took medication, Harry already knew that, he just didn't know specifically what for.

Almost half and hour later, Harry was reading on his phone when Louis came prancing out of the bedroom. He immediately saw Harry and tightly hugged him from behind, pressing kisses to his spine.

"I'm so sorry, Harry."

Harry blinked. There were many questions running through his mind, but he wasn't about to send Louis into another round of "Ignore Harry as Much as I Possibly Can", so he turned around and held Louis' shoulders. He gazed into his blue irises evenly.

"It's okay, Lou. Honest."

Louis averted his eyes. "I just," He sighed, "I don't know. Sometimes I wake up on the wrong side of the bed? It was one of those days."

Harry nodded. "Of course, I understand."

Louis looked up at him innocently. Harry leaned forward and pressed a tentative kiss to his lips. Louis immediately melted into it and fisted the front of Harry's shirt. Nicholas walked out into the kitchen, saw them, then promptly turned around and went back into his room.

The rest of the day was strange. Louis was clingier than usual but at least he was happy and not shouting profanities at Phil. When he was angry it scared Harry, and Harry wanted to avoid that as much as possible. He did everything in his ability to not make Louis mad, and even let Louis buy him an overly expensive outfit from Burberry. It cost well over what Harry would've ever spent on clothes in his entire life, but he wanted to make Louis happy, so he let him do it albeit regretfully.

Louis then dragged him into a sex shop and made Harry pick out a few things. He didn't have the first clue about role-play or any stimulating toys, so he let Louis buy whatever was put into his hands. Of course Harry could only see the inevitable sexy times coming in the future. He swore he saw a pair of braces and a French maid costume in the pile but simply turned the other cheek as Louis laid his money on the counter.

Phil had to eventually restrict Louis' budget and take away his card privileges, which Louis was left whining the rest of the day but at least he was still content. Him and Harry curled up on the couch that night and watched movies until they fell asleep in each other's arms. Phil walked out and spotted them both fast asleep with the television on mute. He draped a blanket over them before shutting off the TV and going to bed.

XxX

"Thank you all for coming! Have a great night!" Louis shouted as he pulled Harry backstage.

They had just finished their concert in Vienna, Austria and were both thrilled at the outcome. Louis and Harry's names were spreading like wildfire and soon they were officially booked in the US and Canada. That was a ways away, though, so the two were just enjoying the time they were able to spend together on tour. It had taken them a few a while to get used to constantly being around each other, but soon it was all right. They made fun out of everything and Harry was beginning to interact with more of the fans on stage. 

Harry's popularity was skyrocketing and Louis started to notice the way the screams were a little bit louder when Harry came out on stage, and the way he suddenly was getting more and more press, and when the paparazzi started chasing after Harry instead. Harry thought nothing of it, though, so kept doing what he was doing with a smile. 

In their next performance in a different country, Louis' voice cracked during his solo. He quickly covered it up with a raspy tone and Harry did his best not to giggle because he knew Louis would take it personally. Of course, the crowd found it endearing, but after the concert was over Louis locked himself in his room the rest of the night. For the next few hours until they went to sleep Harry wasted time surfing channels that were in a different language, wondering why Louis was always so sensitive. Nicholas noticed Harry's boredom, and taught him a few card tricks to pass the time. Once Phil went in and talked to Louis for a bit then walked back out, Harry was able to see him again. Louis still seemed a little downtrodden but didn't bring any more attention to it.

When Harry showed Louis his newfound card tricks, Louis simply smiled and tackled him in a mass of kisses. They spent the rest of the night in each other's arms until they fell asleep.

XxX


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Lots of smut

XxX

Their next destination was Germany where things escalated to another level. The first day they had most of the day off which was good for them since they had to recuperate from the past two weeks. Most nights they had gotten drunk and disappeared into their room while Phil and Nicholas took care of everything else. Since Mr. Walter had come with them this time, they had been more cautious at first, but then they turned it into a game. It was a contest to see who could do the most utterly ridiculous thing without being caught.

The first thing that happened was during an interview. Phil and Nicholas were standing in front on each side of the cloth-clad table watching for anyone suspicious that might be lurking around. Mr. Walter was standing next to them writing things on his clipboard while Louis and Harry sat at the table and answered questions. It was simple, really, until Louis' hand creeped over to Harry's thigh and started caressing it gently. Harry kept a complacent look on his face as he attentively listened to the interviewer. He began to trail higher up this thigh and Harry set his hand on top of Louis' to stop it. Harry made the grave mistake of putting both of his elbows up on the table to describe something and Louis put his hand flat on Harry's growing bulge. His throat hitched into the microphone and he took a second to compose himself before continuing to speak.

He glanced over at Louis to see him completely normal. He had no expression on his face and Harry was appalled. Louis undid his top button and zipper and felt his way around in his trousers. Harry shifted uncomfortably and reached both of his hands down to halt Louis' roaming fingers. He paused momentarily just long enough to gain Harry's trust back that he would stop. Harry rested his arms back up on the table and his face dropped when Louis slipped his hand down his briefs. Harry gripped the microphone stand in front of him tightly and bit his lip. Louis could not be doing this right now, especially with cameras filming and four interviewers in front of them.

"So Harry, who do you attribute most of your success to?" A lady asked. Harry's fingers curled as Louis' fingers lightly brushed at the base of his cock. He took in a deep, shaky breath. He didn't trust himself to speak but there was no avoiding the question.

"Uhm," He cleared his throat, "I would say, uh–" Louis' hand wrapped around his cock and he choked. "My mum, she was definitely, uh, a–" He pursed his lips as Louis began rocking his hand back and forth. The pressure was building in his trousers and he shifted uncomfortably. "M-My mum, she supported me in singing when I was–" He blocked the whimper in the back of his throat that almost escaped. He glanced at Louis and saw he still had the same expression. Damn him. "–little. I also have, uh, Louis, to thank here because he–" Louis stroked harder and faster and Harry's mouth opened in a silent gasp. The tightness of Louis' hand his cock both shoved in his briefs was going to make him come soon. He blinked and stared at the tablecloth, attempting horribly to compose himself. Louis' pace increased and Harry felt himself gasping for air. "H-He's the reason I'm here, s-so I'd like to thank Louis–!" Louis gave one last final stroke before Harry came and slammed his head on the table. The interviewers looked up in shock and Louis licked his lips, a very smug expression on his face. Mr. Walter, Nicholas and Phil glanced up and Louis simply shrugged at them.

"You'll have to excuse him, he's a bit of an emotional lad." He said.

After the interview was over, Harry was positive he had a bruise on his head and the words "Louis gave me a public hand job" tattooed on his forehead. He thanked the interviewers in a daze and Louis' hands were crossed in front of his body, still smirking to himself. Harry was left to stand there with his cum-stained briefs and still uncomfortably large erection. Louis was so going to rue that moment.

The next day before Louis came home from a solo interview, Harry came up with a devious plan. He had set up everything perfectly. There were rose petals lined in the doorway and scattered on the floor all across the room. He lit a coconut cranberry scented candle; throughout his time spending with Louis he found out that he preferred candle scents that were related to food. Louis had no idea but Harry definitely did. He dug through Louis' bag and found some trousers that were too tight to be considered legal. Harry had worn them once before when he spilled water all over his front making it look like he wet himself. The trousers were the only extra pair Louis had on hand but Louis ended up taking them off of Harry ten minutes later in the public bathroom after watching him strut around in them with his bum sticking out like a superstar. Harry grinned at the memory. It felt empowering to know he turned Louis on just like he turned on Harry with something as simple as a hair flip or a side glance.

Harry continued to rummage through Louis' bag and found his red pair braces. He frowned and tried to recall how to put them on. Louis had demonstrated once but Harry had been too busy focusing on his perfectly tapered hair and slender cheekbones that he no longer remembered. He took his shirt off and clipped them in the back, putting his arms through. He checked himself in the mirror before deeming it good enough. Louis had to be home any moment now and Harry was anticipating every moment.

To set the mood, he dimmed the lights a bit and put on a quiet eighties rock playlist. If he was going to do something this absurd he was going to go all out. He pulled out his phone and typed out a text.

To: Lou

Cant wait until you get back, I have a surprise for you ;)

He threw his phone to the side and mused over what he should be doing when Louis walked through the door. Should he be casually watching the telly? He wouldn't understand anything anyway since it was all in German so that was a no. Should he be cooking? No, because then that would run the risk of burning something and it would ruin the mood. Should he jump out and assault Louis from behind, leaving him no time to prepare himself? Nah, he wanted Louis to dominate him so hard that he was salivating. Harry bounced on the couch at the thought. He was going to get wrecked tonight and was fully looking forward to it.

His phone buzzed and he read the message. A smirk covered the entire length of his face.

From: Lou

Should I be scared ?

To: Lou

No, just a bit surprised when I take all of you in and suck so hard you cant walk for weeks .x

Harry set down his phone triumphantly. That would get Louis started, no doubt. He grinned largely when his phone buzzed again.

From: Lou

Oh.

He giggled like a maniac. Yep, Louis was prepared.

Harry opted for casually lying on the bed. That way, Louis would have the whole display of the rose petals and the coconut cranberry candle would take over his senses as he walked through the perimeter of the room. This was all too great to anticipate so Harry had to distract himself before he got too horny thinking about it.

He found a book in the nightstand drawer. He had never heard of it before but turned to the back to read the summary. It sounded pretty good, so he absentmindedly skimmed through the pages. He started reading around the middle of chapter two, and soon found himself engrossed in it. He was about in chapter five when he finally heard footsteps approach the door and a key insert the lock. Harry groaned since he wanted to keep reading but now that Louis was back his priorities had to change. The struggle.

He chucked the book back in the drawer and restarted the playlist. He felt his pulse race as the door opened and grinned when he heard the footsteps stop dead center in the doorway.

"Phil, Nicholas, please go get us some dinner." He heard Louis squeak. Yes! This was turning into every fantasy Harry had ever dreamed of and he was getting hard just by the reality of it. He had to contain himself from bouncing on the bed as his excitement was getting the best of him. He laid nonchalantly on his side as Louis set his bag on the counter then followed the trail of rose petals into the bedroom. He stopped dead center and stared at the shirtless boy with braces clinging to his toned pectorals and abdomen, trailing down to the trousers that were too tight for comfort. He visibly gulped and Harry licked his lips.

"Welcome back babe."

Louis blinked slowly, taking everything in. He glanced around the room and saw the candle burning in the corner with the iPod plugged into the doc on the nightstand. Petals were scattered all around the bed and on the comforter. Harry was posed like a character from some contemporary French painting and Louis didn't know what to think. The emotions that were passing on his face were priceless – Harry wanted to laugh until his sides hurt.

"You," Louis swallowed again, his fingers twitching. "weren't kidding."

Harry raised his eyebrows suggestively and moved off the bed as smoothly as he could. Petals fell to the ground as he slid off the sheets and moved closer to Louis, towering over him and letting his breath respire evenly. Louis looked completely and utterly taken off guard and it was great. Harry loved seeing the lust and anticipation course through his glittering blue eyes as he trailed this finger along his jaw.

"Does this strike your fancy?" Harry smirked. Louis nodded mutely and his eyes raked down Harry's torso. His cock was creating a large bulge in his pants and Louis could only stare at it. His mouth opened and the wanton was so heavy in the room that it was almost suffocating. Harry was waiting for Louis to make the first move to see how he wanted this scenario to play out. Harry was standing here in front of Louis half naked with his face completely blank so his satisfaction level was fulfilled in that aspect.

Harry slowly slid off Louis' jacket and dropped it to the floor right by his feet. He massaged his shoulders and Louis closed his eyes, caught in the sensation. Harry led him to the bed and slid off his shirt pushing him onto the bed. They crawled to the middle and Harry let his fingers delicately run down his spine, sending shivers through his body. Louis responded to Harry rubbing the sore spots with a moan. Harry took in a deep breath and pushed his hips into Louis behind. He stiffed and Harry leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"Relax, baby." He said sweetly. Louis was doing the completely opposite and Harry couldn't keep the grin off of his face.

He continued to let his hands trail down Louis' slender frame, getting the knots loosened in his shoulders. His skin was so soft and Harry bent down to trail kisses along his spine. He felt Louis writhe underneath him and Harry smiled against his skin. He let out a hot breath and nipped at the flesh; the response he was getting from Louis was enamoring. Soon before long a switch would flip inside of Louis and they would both have the experience of their life. Harry was just waiting until his teasing sent him completely over the edge.

Much to his dismay, the switch flipped much quicker than he anticipated. Before he even got to the bottom of his spine, Louis arched his back and slid out from under Harry's legs. He roughly pushed Harry to his back and scowled at the smirk Harry was harboring.

"What's that look for?" Louis growled. Harry leaned up and nipped his nose.

"I was waiting for you to get all hot and bothered." He said, unable to contain the amusement in his voice. Louis' eyes narrowed and he smashed their lips together. Now Harry knew what type of sex Louis wanted. They had done this so many times that he could tell which things would please or piss him off the most depending on the mood. He fully intended to make the most out of this situation regardless if Louis turned into an angry troll trying to make Harry come before him.

Louis roughly pressed their hips together and fell into a motion. Harry was suddenly the one with his breath taken away as Louis took control. Smirking, Louis dipped down to press a kiss to the corner of Harry's mouth before trailing down his jaw to his neck and collarbones. He sucked harshly and Harry raked his nails across Louis' bare back. Louis teethed the braces resting on Harry's shoulders and sat up. He snapped them a few times against his skin, making the flesh turn a light pink.

"You got into my braces, eh?" He ran his fingers down the stretchy accessory. "I'll have to punish you for that."

"I fully intended you to." Harry's eyes glimmered deviously. Louis raised an eyebrow and snapped the braces against his chest one more time.

"You're going to ride me, Harry. And I want you to keep your eyes open." Louis tongue slithered down his torso, sending heat to Harry's already flushed face. He cupped Harry's arse before pinching it and then undoing his top button. He slowly slid the trousers down his thighs and smirked at the delicious sight in front of him. Harry's briefs were damp in front and Louis ghosted his mouth over the fabric. Harry swallowed and watched Louis as he nipped at the tip of his cock, looking up through his long lashes.

"Are you okay with that?" He questioned. Harry nodded, deeply inhaling the coconut cranberry scent as he did so. It added a fresh sense of ardor to the scenario and Harry could say he was completely content.

Louis wasted no time peeling down his briefs in one fluid motion. The braces were now lodged in the crevices of his elbows and his upper body was completely exposed. His curly hair was stuck to his damp forehead and his lips were pink and plump. Louis bit his lip at the sight and undid his own trousers.

"If only you could see yourself right now..." He said, tracing the faint outline of Harry's abs. "You're so beautiful."

Harry flushed at his words and kept his hands stationary at his hipbones. If he tried to touch himself Louis wouldn't let him live it down – he would feel more pain and pleasure than he ever thought possible if he did that.

Louis met Harry's lips once more, pressing their tongues together desperately. He slowly stroked Harry's cock until it was bouncing against the base of his stomach, full and ready. Louis detached their lips with a smirk and stuck three fingers in Harry's mouth.

"Suck," He ordered. Harry choked on his own spit in the back of his throat before proceeding to do so. Louis let out a muffled moan at the sensation of Harry's tongue swirling around his digits. He let his head drop back as Harry bit and teased his fingers. Louis took them out and lifted Harry up onto his thighs. Louis spread his legs and slowly inserted his fingers inside of Harry. Groaning, Harry shut his eyes and reached for his cock, only to be hindered by Louis.

"Don't do that, love. We don't want you coming too soon." He pulled out of Harry and pressed a tantalizing kiss to his neck. "Now, where's the damn lube?"

Louis' eyes scanned the room until his eyes set on a tube sitting on the nightstand. Leaning over, he grabbed it and flipped open the cap. Harry looked confounded.

"I've never used lotion before."

Louis squirted the moisturizer into his hand. "Well now you have." He wrapped his hand around his cock, fully lubricating it. Harry's muscles in his bum tensed as he could already feel the impending soreness. Louis was feeling cheeky and quite frankly loved foreplay, so Harry was really going to get it. A flowery entered his senses and he crinkled his nose and picked up the bottle of lotion. He held it up to show Louis.

"Sweet Pea?"

Louis shrugged. "Just imagine we're running through a field of flowers. Now," Louis stroked the head of Harry's erection, which quickly silenced him. Louis pressed a kiss to his collarbone.

"I love you."

Harry was taken aback, but he smiled. "I love you too."

Louis gave him a cheeky grin before lifting Harry up by his thighs. Slowly lowering him down, Louis sucked in a deep breath as his entire length encompassed Harry's hole. Harry stabilized himself by clutching onto Louis' shoulders and squinting his eyes shut as his entire body seared with heat.

"Good hell," Louis said through clenched teeth, "move, or do something!"

Harry let out a giggle and moved forward experimentally. Louis inhaled deeply and set his hands on Harry's lower back, guiding his hips forward and backwards in a fluid motion. After letting Harry adjust, he loosened his grip and let Harry take the lead. He lifted himself halfway up Louis' erection then unexpectedly slammed back down. Louis let out a squeak as Harry continued to repeat the action. He rolled his hips and Louis felt like he was going to combust. He pressed love bites and nipped at Harry's flesh, tweaking his nipples. The two were both a moaning mess as Harry's cock bobbed between them, leaking and protesting against it's own weight.

Grabbing the tube of lotion, Louis squirted some in his hands and slapped it on Harry's shoulders. It dripped down and Louis raked his nails down Harry's back as he continued pulling and pushing himself onto Louis. The flowery smell intoxicated their senses and Harry dropped his head onto Louis' shoulder.

The feeling of Harry hitting the top of Louis' thighs each time he dropped down made Louis feel like a libertine. It was so arousing each time he came down it brought a bright red color to his skin; Louis dug his nails into the bottom of Harry's spine.

"I-I'm going to cum..." Harry panted.

"Do it for me, baby," Louis whispered in his ear, gently licking the cuff, "make it loud."

Harry gave one last push before he burst between their stomachs. Louis came inside of Harry with a loud moan, and some leaked out onto his legs. Harry pulled out and laid backwards on the pillow. Louis' chest heaved as he stared the boy splayed out in front of him. Somewhere in the mix the braces had snapped off of his jeans and stayed loosely draped in the crevices of his elbows. Louis smiled and crawled over Harry.

"You okay there?" He wiped away the sweat on Harry's damp forehead.

"I never want to move again."

Louis chuckled. "We should shower and clean up before Phil and Nicholas get back. I don't want them walking in on this."

Harry lifted his head before dropping it back to the pillow. He groaned as Louis pressed a teasing kiss on his sternum, and Harry shuddered.

"Don't do that I'll get hard again."

"The come on!" Louis hopped off the bed. He sashayed to the bathroom, making sure to cast a scandalous glance back at Harry before shutting the door. The shower turned on moments later and Harry stared up at the ceiling and laughed. Loving Louis was the most painful, intense, and wonderful thing in his entire life. He didn't even care about the mixed liquids sticking to his skin or that the playlist had ended long ago or that the petals beneath them were wilted from lack of oxygen, he only cared that he was happier than he had ever been and could only laugh and laugh until his sides hurt from how ridiculously in love he was with him.

"Harry! This hair isn't going to wash itself!" Louis's voice echoed from inside the shower.

Harry couldn't stop smiling and jumped up, the braces falling to the floor as he dashed to the bathroom. Jumping inside the cascading water, his and Louis' bodies snapped together like gravity. They wrapped their arms around each other, and Harry suddenly pulled away and dropped to his knees, taking Louis' length in his mouth all at once. Louis let out a gasp and tugged at Harry's hair, not holding back a single sound. Even when Louis tugged his mouth away and pinned Harry against the wall, thrusting into him until he was raw and he lined the dripping, humid walls with his cum, Harry couldn't stop smiling even though he knew he was going to be more than just sore tomorrow.

Yeah. He definitely loved Louis.

XxX

Their contest of ridiculous public actions had momentarily come to a halt. They were in Spain now, and Harry had his own solo interview. Apparently many fans and the press were requesting it, so he had no choice but to agree. Louis bid him with a passionate farewell kiss and reassured him it wasn't as scary as it was made out to be. Harry smiled and was sent with Phil and Nicholas, leaving Louis back at the hotel room by himself, which seemed like a really bad idea, but Phil and Nicholas didn't think to seem so. Harry wasn't so trustful of their judgment.

During the interview Harry was assaulted with mass amounts of texts. It was really distracting, so he had to inconspicuously reach in his pocket and turn his phone off before he could turn back to the interview. Once it was finished, he turned it back on and his phone froze before being bombarded with a mass amount of texts. He had forty-six messages all from Louis. What the fuck.

Harry buckled his seatbelt before opening his phone, which kept freezing even to this moment. When he opened the message thread, he saw most of them were pictures. How Louis can take that many pictures of his cock and not have one be the same is beyond Harry. There was one particular one that was of Louis, obviously, and he was grasping his hard, leaking cock in one hand and biting his lip that made Harry really horny. Apparently Louis had fun at the hotel, and Harry's face burned red as he saved them to his camera roll – no shame on his part – before deleting all the texts. It seemed that Louis was still taking this contest very seriously and probably had been hoping Harry would've open them in public. Harry scoffed at that. As of recent when Louis texted him there was no telling what it could be.

To: Lou

Have fun while I was gone? x

From: Lou

It was so lonely here without your sexy body next to mine. I want to feel your hands run up my thighs while I tangle my fingers in your hair. I want to moan your name as you suck on my neck until I'm begging for mercy. I want you to eat me out until I'm numb and can't walk the next day. I want to feel your cum inside me while I fuck your mouth with my tongue. I want you to punish me until there's handprint welts and bruises all over my skin. I want to feel you deep inside of me as you fuck me slow and hard.

From: Lou

And no I did not have fun :(

Harry stared at the message for a really, really long time.

To: Lou

Oh.

There was a long string of messages that came after that – no doubt Louis typed them in his notes for later – all full of filthy and lewd sentences, making Harry shift uncomfortably in his seat. All he could do was stare at the little dots that indicated Louis was typing, then the message that would come in, and they would reappear again. This happened about eleven times before there was a pause, and Harry wondered if he was going to leave him with his half-hard cock stuck in his trousers and a loss of what to say.

The next message that came in almost made Harry groan out loud.

From: Lou

I miss you :) x

Harry slammed his face against the cold window, making Nicholas look through the rearview mirror.

"Everything okay back there?"

"Fine," Harry squeaked. He felt his erection pressing against his pants hard, so hard he couldn't wait to jump of that car that was suddenly too hot and either wreck or get wrecked, both to or by Louis. There were no more messages that came in after that, and Harry slowly locked his phone and let it drop to the seat. He pressed his forehead to the palms of his hands to regulate his breathing. Louis was so fucking dead when Harry got back.

The drive was excruciatingly long, or at least it seemed like it. Finally they arrived, and Harry's pants were so stiff that he cringed as him, Phil, and Nicholas rode up the lift. His pulse throbbed in his veins as the door swung open. They walked down the hall and with each step Harry could hear his heart thudding in his chest. Apprehensively, the approached the door and took his hotel key out. He waved to Phil and Nicholas as they left to their own separate room – because Louis had requested it, probably for this reason – and paused when he smelled a delicious aroma. There was no way that was coming from his and Louis' room, it had to be from somewhere else.

Harry slowly unlocked the door. Well, it definitely was coming from their room, and Harry peeked his head in only to see Louis on his tiptoes leaning over a steaming pot on the stove. Harry shut the door and was able to take in the sight of Louis. He was in the French Maid costume with a little frilly headband in his hair stirring something in the pot; Harry recalled they had bought that while back. There was soft music coming from the iPod in the corner and Harry's coat dropped to the floor when he accidentally missed the hanger.

Louis turned and smiled at him. "Oh, hey babe. How was it?" He asked. It was too innocent and sweet to be authentic, so Harry immediately knew this was roleplay. He swallowed harshly and stood there dumbfounded.

"It was good," His voice was weak, it felt like his lungs were in his throat. He looked around the room unsurely; everything seemed normal. There were no rose petals, fancy candles, or things like that, it was just Louis cooking in a French Maid costume. There was a bottle of wine sticking out of a bucket of ice but that was it. Harry smiled at it despite his nerves. He was trying his best not to grab his crotch and slam himself into the nearest wall. "What are you making?"

Louis settles onto the balls of his feet and wipes his hands off with a towel. "Just some soup. It's my first time cooking, so I hope you like it." He flutters his long eyelashes and Harry can only stare. Louis was such a tease and Harry loved him to death.

Louis walked to the fridge and Harry followed him without purpose. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Louis' figure. His round bum was sticking out from the lacy frill at the end of the skirt and it was fully displayed when Louis opened the fridge purposely bent down to check. He cocked his head to the side and put a finger to his lips, turning around and looking at Harry with doe eyes.

"Harry, I don't think we have any celery."

Harry's dick throbbed in his pants. He shifted uncomfortably and shrugged halfhearted. "That's okay, the soup will be fine without it."

Louis pursed his lips in a frown, still keeping his ass out on display. "Are you sure? I want it to taste good."

Harry couldn't stop himself from licking his lips. At this point he'd skip dinner and just go straight for dessert. He was curious as to why Louis was being so innocent and submissive, maybe this was him giving a chance for Harry to top? He suddenly grabbed his crotch as his throbbed in his pants. Louis stood back up and looked at it.

"Oh no, not yet. You need to eat first." Louis said so pure and innocent that Harry felt his climax coming early. Leading Harry to the table, Louis set a napkin on his lap, purposely pressing his hands flat against it to smooth it out until there were no crinkles left. He dished up some soup in a bowl and came back and set it on the table in front of Harry. He grabbed the wine and poured him a glass, afterwards backing away and interlacing his fingers in front of his body.

"Tell me how it tastes." Louis blinked again, making his long lashes flutter against his cheeks. Was he wearing mascara? There was no way his eyelashes were that long, Harry had been very close and personal with Louis so he definitely knew the length of them.

"Are you wearing makeup?" Harry asked, genuinely curious. He picked up the spoon and dipped it in the soup.

"Will it please you if I do?" Louis asked. Harry felt like having a stroke at the thought of him wearing eyeliner.

"It's not necessary." Harry said, clearing his throat afterward. He was already going to combust; he didn't want to wait any longer. With Louis standing less than two feet away from him in nothing but a lacy piece of lingerie and headband tucked behind his ears, dick hard and ass out in the open, Harry had never wanted to skip dinner more.

He took a tentative sip. It was a simple vegetable soup, Harry was at least proud Louis didn't catch the kitchen on fire. He couldn't imagine how much trouble Louis went through just to look up a recipe, find all the ingredients and put them in a big pot without spilling anything. That must've been where all the nudes came from, Louis had gotten annoyed with cooking and figured he could send dick pictures to his boyfriend instead. Harry definitely wasn't opposed.

"How is it?" Louis asked, his fingers still interlaced in front of him.

"It's amazing." Harry picked up the napkin from his lap and wiped his mouth, trying to keep his eyes on Louis' face and nothing else but failing. He was hungrily drinking in his beautiful, delicate legs along with the frilly socks that went right above his ankles. God, who knew he had a roleplay kink, he guessed he wasn't the only conniving one in this relationship.

Harry's stomach was swirling, so he downed the half-cup of wine. Louis grabbed the bottle from the ice bucket.

"Would you like some more?" Louis asked, and Harry nodded. Louis bent over farther than necessary and poured the liquid into the glass. When he was pulling away, he stumbled, making some drip onto Harry's lap. Louis gasped and immediately set the bottle down and fell to his knees, grabbing the napkin from the table and dabbing at the wet spot.

"I'm so sorry! I'll clean it up immediately." Louis said. Harry felt a shiver run up his spine when wiping the wet spot with the napkin proved futile, so Louis leaned forward to suck on it. Harry immediately went rigid and bit the inside of his cheek. The image of Louis' petite frame down by his leaking cock was more than enough to take him right here on the table. He was trying to contain himself but soon he wouldn't have any control.

"If you take these off I can get you some new trousers." Louis said, staring up at Harry with his bright blue eyes. Harry felt himself swallow and his mouth dropped open.

"Go ahead."

Louis smiled and turned to Harry's shoes. Tantalizingly slow, he undid the shoe laces and slid them off, next peeling off his socks, gently caressing the back of his ankles as he did so, and then came to Harry's top button. He undid them, alleviating a bit of pressure, and Harry lifted his thighs as Louis slowly slid them down his legs. The bulge in his underwear was blatantly visible, and Harry swore he saw Louis break character and smirk. Louis took Harry's trousers all the way off and threw them off to the side, his patience slowly slipping.

"These are wet too, do you mind if I take them off as well?" Louis asked. He was pitching his voice a tone higher giving it a smooth, angelic sound. Harry nodded and Louis fastened his thumbs in the waistband before pulling them off in one fluid motion. Harry's cock sprung free and he took in a sharp breath as his bum touched the cold wooden chair. Louis brushed his cheek along the inside of Harry's thigh, smiling lightly.

"What a surprise," He said, more smug and cheeky than ever and Harry knew he was completely satisfied. He looked up at Harry sensually. "May I?"

Harry wasn't able to respond before Louis' took the entire length into his mouth, completely catching Harry off guard. He hissed and let out a gasp. Louis' tongue swirled around the head and slid from the base to the tip. It was already driving Harry insane.

Louis pulled away with a light smile still on his face. "Shall I continue?"

Harry had to contain a glare and pushed his cock back in Louis' mouth before he could ask any more rhetorical questions. Louis choked for a second before gaining his composure and squinting, determined to push Harry as far into the back of his throat as he could. He added one hand on the base and Harry threw his head back, completely and utterly overtaken by the sensation.

The tip hit the back of Louis' throat, and Harry saw tears spring to the corner of his eyes. He was enjoying this greatly, but he didn't want to hurt Louis, so he pulled away.

"Hey, hey, don't hurt yourself."

Louis looked offended. "Do you want me to suck your dick or not?"

And the regular Louis was back. He was so small yet that the sass level of a feline and retorts as sharp as knives. Harry laughed and fixed his headband that had gone askew in the process.

"Yes, but not if it's hurting you."

Louis glared and was about to open his mouth, but Harry pressed a finger to his lips. He pushed Louis onto his back and dipped down to kiss him tenderly. Louis leaned his head to the side to break the kiss.

"I just gave you a half-assed blow job and you're kissing me?"

"Shh," Harry pressed quick kisses all around the side of his face. "I love you too much not too."

Louis wasn't amused. "Now don't turn this into something romantic, this is straight business here."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Since when was this straight?"

Louis paused. "Good point."

Harry smiled. "You look great in that, by the way."

Louis lifted his head to look at himself. The only thing he saw was Harry's cock dangling over his stomach – which, he definitely wasn't complaining – and shrugged.

"Found out your kink even before you did. How about that?"

"I'm quite surprised." Harry smiled. "But don't forget I found yours too."

Louis gave him a cheeky look. He suddenly shifted uncomfortably and Harry frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Ehm, the lace...it's kind of digging into my skin." Louis admitted. Harry grinned slyly and trailed a finger down Louis' torso.

"Where?"

Louis narrowed his eyes. "You wanna find out?"

Harry grinned eagerly and Louis slid out from under him. When he stood up he brushed himself off and turned around, bending over on the table so his legs were locked. Harry's eyes were in direct line with everything so there was no need for his imagination. It was all right there.

"I want you to fuck me until I can see stars. Fuck me as hard as you can." Louis said. His voice was deep, breathy sensual, and Harry felt every vein in his blood pumping erratically. He was completely frozen. Louis wanted to do it right here on the table? He definitely wasn't opposed, it was just everything was coming so suddenly – both literally and metaphorically – and Harry's cock was so full it was hurting. He was going to burst any second now if Louis did even a small lick of the lips.

"I won't stay bent over forever, Styles." Louis snipped, and Harry finally broke out of his stupor. He crawled forward and tore his shirt off and threw it on the pile of all his other discarded clothes, standing up in haste. He quickly dashed to their bedroom and grabbed the lube from the top drawer and came back to Louis who was resting his chin on his palm.

"Always be prepared, Harry." He said smugly. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Shut up. This is my first time."

Louis smiled fondly and stood back up. As Harry was fumbling to open the cap of the lube, Louis slowly lowered Harry's hands. Harry looked at Louis quizzically, and Louis pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't need to rush, just take your time." Louis said sweetly. Harry looked at him deeply and they kissed again. Harry felt much more relaxed in the sense he could actually pop open the cap without his hands shaking, and Louis backed against the corner of the table. His hole was positioned right in the corner and he pressed against it, letting out a soft moan. He couldn't begin to explain his giddiness, he knew Harry had been looking forward to topping for a while now, but Louis wanted it to be just perfect. Now that he was standing here in front of Louis completely naked and squirting cherry flavored lube onto his hands, it all seemed that much more real. Louis loved Harry deeply, more than he had anyone ever before, and it scared him.

Harry looked up at Louis with such tenderness that he pressed further into the table. He let out a small grunt as he moved his hips around to stimulate his hole. Harry watched with lust in his eyes before crashing their lips together. He pulled Louis away from the table and promptly flipped him over so Louis' cheek was pressed flat against the table. He could smell the soup from Harry's bowl had gone cold, and the wine in the glass had been spilled long ago. It was dripping off the table onto the floor but they could worry about that later.

Louis could tell Harry was hesitating, but didn't dare infringe on his thought process, so kept his body still. His cock was already aching just seeing Harry react the way he did. Slowly, Harry inserted one finger, and Louis immediately flinched. Harry hesitated.

"No, keep going, it's okay," Louis said. He took a deep breath to compose himself. Harry never knew, but Louis never bottomed. It was a huge step for him and frankly he was scared out of his wits, but he trusted Harry enough to not hurt him. Even with every guy he hooked up with he never bottomed – being dominant meant he had control, and that's what Louis liked. Louis hated when things were unpredictable; things like Harry, things like falling in love.

Harry nodded and pushed his finger in further. Louis shut his eyes to hopefully damper his anxiety. He trusted Harry, and because of that, he wasn't going to be afraid. The mood was different, before it had been desperate, wanton, and sensual, but now it was only out of pure love and care. Harry didn't want to hurt Louis, Louis only wanted to make Harry happy, so they found a compromise in the middle. Even after everything they've been through, Louis could only think, this might actually work.

Harry inserted another finger, and instead of flinching, Louis let himself melt into the feeling. To have something inside of him so foreign was so stimulating; no wonder Harry was a mess after they were done having sex. Taking Louis' grunts as a positive response, Harry twisted his fingers around, experimentally scissoring and pulling them out and pushing them back in. Louis writhed underneath him, the back of his knees locking as the movement took place inside of him. Harry inserted another finger, and when Louis was deemed prepped enough, he pulled him out.

Louis was panting as Harry squirted lube into his hand and rubbed it on his cock. He lifted the lace from Louis' outfit and positioned himself right behind Louis, rubbing comforting circles on his lower back. Louis took a deep breath and gave Harry a nod to continue, and slowly he pushed in. Louis felt his eyes bulge with each inch of his hole that was filled.

"You alright?" Harry asked, and Louis nodded as he clutched the kitchen table. When Louis had adjusted, Harry pulled out and slowly pushed back in, making Louis bite his lip. He moved in and out of Louis slowly until they found a rhythm. The lace began to bunch uncomfortably between his legs but it only added to the pressure. His mouth dropped open in a silent moan as Harry picked up his speed, digging his fingers into the dips of Louis' hipbones.

The front of Harry's thighs were hitting Louis' ass, and it was pure euphoria. Right before Harry came, there was a loud gasp that elicited from his lips, making Louis spurt all over the table as Harry came inside of him. They both crumpled to the floor in a sweaty mess and laid there panting.

Harry took in short breaths as he lifted his head. Louis' eyes were closed and his bum was raw with redness. Harry grinned as he fixed Louis' headband that had fallen to one side of his face.

"Hey," Harry said, and Louis slowly opened his eyes. "are you okay?"

Louis smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Are you?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah."

Harry stood up slowly, bracing himself on the chair he had been sitting on previously. Louis was still on the floor and Harry bent down to pick him up bridal style. Louis yelped as he was heaved upwards and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck. Louis averted his pouting expression to Harry while his green eyes glittered with amusement.

"Put me down." Louis said petulantly.

"No." Harry said, letting a sly smile grace his lips. Louis scowled and craned his head to look at his surroundings. When he saw he couldn't escape, he huffed.

"Fine. No more topping for you."

Harry's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You serious?"

Louis gave him a look.

Harry nuzzled into his hair. "Come on, Lou, don't be like that."

Louis squirmed when Harry started pressing kisses to his cheek. He swatted him away. "Fine, fine! Just put me down."

"Nope, I'm not going to." Harry swung him around for good measure, and Louis glared.

"Harry Edward Styles, I swear to God if you don't–"

"La la la la, I can't hear you." Harry sang as he pranced to the bathroom, Louis still in his arms. Louis glared as hard as he could.

"You fucking suck, I hope you know that!"

Harry shut the bathroom door with his foot and set Louis on the counter. Before Louis could start spitting profanities at him, he pressed their lips together. Louis threw his arms around Harry's neck and pulled him closer. Harry began tugging on the outfit and Louis immediately started helping him. Soon, it was thrown to the floor and their lips met under the steaming water of the shower, Louis' back pressed against the wall while trapped between Harry's arms. His Paris necklace he'd received from Christmas glistened as water droplets rolled down his chest, and bounced when Harry dropped to his knees and took Louis' length in his mouth.

Louis may have been in a post-coital state and not thinking clearly, he may have been scared, and he may have been anxious as to what will come in the future, but if there was one thing he knew for sure, it was that he loved the curly-headed dolt more than anyone had ever loved him.

XxX


	37. Chapter 37

XxX

The next two weeks consisted of the same thing. They would perform, fly to a different country, and perform again. Occasionally in interviews, Louis would be asked about Eleanor; questions like why was she not touring with him, where has she been recently, is she going to be modeling for any big agencies, how is their relationship, etcetera and etcetera. Each time Louis would glance at Harry and they would both conceal a smile all while Louis came up with some bullshit excuse as to why she could never come. Things like she got sunburned and didn't want to be seen in public, or she had a traumatic flying experience back in London, or she went to the zoo and a bird pooped on her. Harry had to slap a hand to his mouth each time and the interviewers would stare at them blankly, not understanding their inside joke. It became sort of a running gag for the two – come up with the most outrageous lie to see if they could get away with it. They only hoped Mr. Walter didn't catch on.

After they performed in France – and relived some very fond memories, much to Harry's pleasure – they flew to Belgium. The first thing Louis did was drag him to the nearest store with chocolate and buy as much as they could, regardless that Harry was still in his pajamas and they were papped the moment they stepped foot out of the airport. Harry was still half asleep when Louis shoved chocolate in his mouth as hundreds of fans and camera men lined up at the doors – that now had to be locked due to the overwhelming population suddenly growing – and the store owners were getting flustered. Harry simply scowled as he let the delicious chocolate melt over his tongue and Louis laughed as he ate his chocolate jovially. Phil and Nicholas weren't happy when they had to drag them out of the store and push through the crowds to get to the black range rover.

Louis and Harry were hyped up on sugar the rest of the night, bouncing off the walls, having pillow fights with the expensive decorative couch cushions, grabbing wooden spoons from the suite kitchen and pretending they were ninjas, and Louis may have accidentally broken the living room lamp when he tripped over Nicholas' laptop cord. Mr. Walter was going to make an appearance and explain Louis and Harry's duties for tomorrow, but Phil prohibited it and said for him to come back tomorrow. Mr. Walter simply blinked at him then went back to his own room.

Fortunately – so far – no fans or reporters had found their room, and the three adults were finally asleep peacefully. Unfortunately, Louis and Harry were bored. And because they were bored and Phil and Nicholas left the keys to the range rover on the counter, they snuck out the window through the fire escape and giggled the entire way to the car. They jumped in and their breaths were visible in the cold night, and Harry looked at Louis.

"Do you even have your license?"

Louis gave Harry a look as he threw a blanket and a basket into the back seat. "My dear Harold, of course I do. The real question is, do you?"

Harry was about to ask what those were for but Louis peeled out of the parking lot, throwing him back into his seat. They rolled down the windows and let the icy weather blow through the car with the heaters blasting. It was close to one in the morning but neither of them was tired. They were too jetlagged to even consider sleeping.

Louis put a location in his phone maps and when he saw the route, but it back between his legs and let the voice guide him. Louis grasped Harry's hand and pressed kisses to his knuckles. Harry smiled and pulled Louis' hand to his lips and did the same. As payback, Louis tugged Harry into an actual kiss and veered into the other lane as he did so, but Harry quickly pulled away and scolded him lightly to pay attention to the road. Louis simply laughed and intertwined their fingers together.

"Louis, where are we going?" Harry asked. Louis couldn't stop touching him.

"Just wait, love. You'll see."

When Louis pulled his phone out to look at the screen, Harry tried to snatch it away. The last thing he wanted to do was get in a crash in Belgium where they would not only be in a ton of trouble with Mr. Walter, Phil, and Nicholas, but Anne would be pissed as well as Johannah and probably the Belgian Highway Patrol. Louis held his phone away and tsked as he stabilized the steering wheel with his knee.

"Nu-uh, darling, it's a surprise."

"Louiiiiiiis," Harry whined, "pleaaaaassee."

Louis let his phone drop in his lap and slapped a hand over Harry's mouth. Harry stuck his tongue out and circled it around Louis' palm but he had no reaction. He simply smiled expectantly.

Harry swatted Louis' saliva-covered hand in disgust. "Gross. At least try not to kill us, I don't appreciate you driving with your knee."

Louis chuckled. "Fine, fine. You get cranky when you haven't been laid, it's been what, six hours?"

"Shut up." Harry said lightheartedly.

They arrived at a park and Harry raised his eyebrows. Louis rolled up the windows and popped the trunk, grabbing the blanket and basket from the back seat. Harry followed Louis as he laid the blanket out in the perimeter of the trunk and jumped in, beckoning Harry to join.

"Lou, are we allowed to be here this late?"

"Yep." He replied, taking items out the basket.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Nope."

Harry snorted and got in next to Louis. The car was still warm, but the cold air was now seeping inside. The moon was shining brightly through the overcast clouds and illuminating the melting snow below. The ice crystals glittered as a gust of wind rushed past, and Harry stuck his nose out to take a deep breath. It smelled fresh and new, just like the beginning of winter and New Years. Memories came rushing back to him and he reminisced until Louis held out a juice box.

"Here," He said, and Harry looked at him skeptically. What were they doing?

Then it dawned on him. They were having a picnic. 

Except this picnic was in the middle of the night in a parking lot in Belgium with juice boxes and animal crackers. Harry blinked and stared blankly at Louis before bursting out into laughter. How did he ever fall in love with such a dork?

Louis' shoulders tensed. "If you don't like it we can go back."

Harry stopped laughing. "No, no, that's not why I'm laughing. I'm laughing because first of all I love you," Louis visibly relaxed, "and second of all this is the cheesiest thing someone's ever done for me, and I love it."

"Oh," Louis said, still sounding somewhat miffed at Harry's amusement. Harry leaned forward and kissed his cheek, taking the juice box from him.

"You're wonderful. Thank you."

Louis finally smiled. "You're welcome. I figured since our relationship isn't exactly "normal" by regular standards I'd try and make it so."

Harry couldn't contain the smile that bloomed on his face. He was so fond of this boy he fell in love with the day he first walked into the bakery. They'd been through so much together and experienced so many things, and now here they were in the middle of a worldwide tour in the back of a stolen car having a picnic. Harry couldn't be more content with his life.

Louis popped open the bag of animal crackers.

"This is a deluxe starlight dinner right here." He said proudly, his breath frosting into the air. Harry covered his mouth.

"This is..." Harry bit his lower lip to stop his laughter, "of utmost extravagance. How did I ever end up with such a posh, fancy boyfriend?"

Louis pretended to flip his hair over his shoulder then ripped the straw off the side of the juice box. Harry let out a chuckle and did the same, and they soon fell into a contest to see who could drink theirs the quickest. Louis won much to Harry's dismay, and Harry tackled Louis in a kiss. They lazily made out in the back of the car in the frosty January air, fingers intertwined, and noses turning red from the cold. Harry eventually rolled off of Louis and moved the animal crackers before he smashed them with his arse. He knew Louis would be devastated if they were to end up in small bits and crumbs simply because of his bum.

Harry trailed his finger along Louis' face, drawing circles and patters into his cheeks and on his forehead, swirling his finger into his ear and making him giggle, and lightly tapping his button nose. Louis sat in complete silence as he let Harry's touch feather against his skin. He sighed in content.

"So when did you have time to plan all this?" Harry asked. Louis opened one eye.

"That's a secret, my dear. Let's just say your definition of 'taking a wee' means reading an entire novel on the toilet." Louis stuck his tongue out playfully and Harry flicked it.

"That's not fair. You take showers that lost longer than your attention span." Harry pretended to frown, and Louis sat up. He grinned; his cheeks flushed red from the cold and hair wisped from the wind. Harry was sent into a trance as he stared at Louis, just admiring all his features and everything about him. He didn't remember what he just said, all Harry knew was that the most beautiful person in the world was sitting right in front of him and he wasn't in his arms. Harry scooted forward and hugged Louis tightly.

"I love you. So much." Harry said, burying his face into Louis' burly coat. "I feel like I don't tell you that enough so you don't know."

Louis ran a hand through Harry's hair. "Oh believe me, I know. Sometimes you don't have to say it for someone to know." Harry pulled away to look at Louis and Louis smiled at him. The look was so gentle on his features; Harry had never seen him so relaxed before.

"I just..." Harry trailed off, turning around so he was facing the same way as Louis. Their legs were set flat on the bottom of the car, and Harry's legs stretched further than Louis'. Louis craned his toes and Harry chuckled. "I just feel like this is all going to end though, you know? Like it's too good to be true, so it has to end, because not everything is always perfect."

Louis shrugged. "Maybe, but you can't ever worry about that or you'll miss what you have right now. Because if you spend all your time worrying about the future, what will become of your present?"

Harry smiled and nudged Louis. "Okay John Green, thanks for that insight."

Louis reached over Harry for the bag of animal crackers. He popped one in his mouth. "No problem." He dug one out of the bag and held it up to Harry's face. "Animal cracker, my cupcake?"

Harry grinned. "Of course, my sunshine." Harry kissed Louis. When he went to grab the cracker, Louis fastened his hand behind Harry's head and pulled him closer, making him squeak. The bag of crackers rolled out of Louis' lap and they scattered all over the blanket. Louis pushed Harry's back to the floor and he slowly let his lips trail from Harry's mouth to his neck, gently teething the skin. Harry felt a shiver run up his spine, and not just from the cold gust of wind. When Louis reached the top of Harry's coat he frowned and tugged at it.

"Can I take this off?"

"No, I'll be cold." Harry said. Louis huffed.

"But I want to see you."

"Then let's go back to the hotel. You're starting to shiver anyway." Harry said. As if on cue, Louis violently shivered as a particularly cold breeze rolled through the car, and Louis hugged his arms to his body. Harry sat up and pulled him close.

"Hey, lets go back. I don't want you freezing to death."

Louis nodded. Harry let him go turn on the car and sit in the front where it was heated while he picked up the crackers and put them back in the bag. He swept the ones that were smashed out onto the ground and shook the blanket out before rolling it back up and shutting the trunk. He set the basket and blanket in the backseat and hopped in the front where the car was already warm. He leaned over the middle console to press a kiss to Louis' cheek.

"You good?"

Louis nodded and put the car into drive. They drove silently with the heater blasting, some foreign station playing on the radio. Harry swayed to the beat as Louis drove with one hand draped over the steering wheel as the spokes of the wheels reflected the moon.

When they got to the hotel, on the lift ride up they snogged in the corner until it stopped at the second floor and the doors swung open. Harry and Louis pulled apart as a stranger walked in and stood silently in the middle. Louis and Harry were deathly quiet, they didn't want to draw any attention to themselves in case it was a potential fan or someone who would recognize them. Fortunately, the stranger got off only two floors later, so Louis and Harry went back to snogging. Louis had Harry pressed into the corner completely compliant to his lips as they trailed down his neck into the thick winter coat. Louis began unzipping it but the lift dinged, signaling they arrived to their floor. Harry and Louis cleared their throats as they walked out, making sure the coast was clear, before darting to their room. Louis pulled out the keycard and attempted to enter as quickly and quietly as possible. The door shut loudly and they both cringed, dashing to their rooms before stripping just to their boxers and jumping in bed, pretending to be asleep.

On cue, they heard the other door open and Phil hastily walked around the room, double-checking to make sure the door was locked. He peered inside Louis and Harry's room and since they appeared to be asleep, Phil left them alone. When their door was shut Louis let out a small giggle and kicked Harry's legs.

"Jeez Lou, you're freezing." Harry whispered, wanting to keep his voice quiet until Phil returned to his room.

"I know," He said. "Keep me warm with that insanely hot body you have."

Harry raised a devious eyebrow and pulled Louis closer to him so their torsos were touching. They stared into each other's eyes before Harry leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Louis' lips.

"I love you." Harry said. Louis' eyes glimmered under his dark eyelashes as he blinked.

"I love you too." Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. Harry turned so his back was facing Louis and tangled their legs together. He winced when Louis' cold feet touched his but he didn't move.

"Goodnight curly." Louis ghosted his lips over his ear. It sent shivers down Harry's spine and went straight to his crotch, but he willed it away.

"Goodnight."

XxX


	38. Chapter 38

XxX

Their next destination was Sweden. There, they toured around a bit and had quite the romantic dinner, only for it to be ruined when they were mobbed by hoards of fans outside the restaurant. Phil and Nicholas had to call in a security team and Harry and Louis were hastily escorted to their hotel where they weren't permitted to leave the rest of the night. Louis spewed profanities that he found it unfair that the fans treated them like shit and stormed to his bedroom and locked the door. Harry stood in the living room puzzled, looking between the two bodyguards and the door. Neither Phil nor Nicholas seemed fazed by his mood swings, and Harry knocked on the door tentatively. When Louis yelled at him to go away, Harry sat on the couch twiddling his thumbs until Louis came out half an hour later a completely new person.

After their performance the next night, they were curled up in their cozy bed, holding each other as Louis' fingers brushed through Harry's curls. Harry had a paper and pen in hand, claiming earlier that day he had an epiphany for a song. Louis was simply spectating and occasionally pressing kisses to Harry's temple as he jotted down notes.

"Okay, this is going to sound really cliché, but we're in Stockholm. What's the first thing that comes to mind?"

"Stockholm syndrome." Louis said.

Harry made a noise. "Exactly. So, what's the definition of Stockholm syndrome?"

Louis slid his phone out of his pocket. "Well, according to Siri," He held the home button and asked for the definition. Siri read aloud, "Stockholm syndrome means: feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor."

Harry nodded. "Mhm. So if we apply that to us," Harry drew a line from his and Louis' name to the title "Stockholm Syndrome", "you kidnapped my heart."

Louis rolled his eyes playfully. "Haven't we already been through this except with pronoun changes? 'Maybe it's the way she walked straight into my heart and stole it, through the doors and past the guards, just like she already owned it'?"

Harry nudged Louis. "That's a song on our EP. This is a new song, one we can release as a random single or something."

Louis chuckled. "Okay, Harry."

"I'm serious!" Harry circled the title Stockholm syndrome and drew a small line. Underneath, he jotted, "kidnapping."

Louis poked Harry's side. "You're so methodical with song writing, I just write random shit until it makes sense. Hence Girl Almighty."

Harry snorted. "Yeah, I know." He sat up straighter as he began writing. "Okay, lets see, um, what reminds you of kidnapping?"

Louis shrugged. "Bondage, stalking, shadows, hostages, chloroform, this is quite a dark subject, Harry. Are you sure you want to write about this?"

Harry dismissed him with a wave. "We're not writing about the actual thing, it's a metaphor."

"Please tell me you didn't just quote The Fault In Our Stars."

Harry gave him a nervous glance.

Louis shoved Harry to the side. "I love you so much that I hate you."

"Jeez, love you too!" The paper crumbled under Harry as he laughed. Louis threw his leg over Harry's hip to straddle him, pressing his fingers into his sides. Harry giggled as Louis continued to tickle him. Harry's laughter echoed through the room out into the living room where it would probably wake Phil and Nicholas, but neither of them cared. They were too engrossed and having too much fun to stop.

"Okay, okay, Louis! I got an idea." Harry promptly threw Louis off and picked his pen and paper back up. "Usually you don't know the kidnapper, right? So they're like a figure lurking in the shadows. And they're holding you hostage, so who's that shadow holding me hostage."

"Clever boy." Louis patted his head mockingly. "Except I don't ever remember tying you up and keeping you segregated from society."

"I said it's a metaphor!" Harry huffed. He scribbled something on the paper to add to his mess he called "brainstorming", and Louis watched amused. Harry definitely was a special one.

"Hey, Harry."

Harry ignored him until he was finished writing his sentence. After he was done he attentively popped his head up. "What?"

"Are you in the mood?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "The 'mood'?"

Louis brushed his hair away from his forehead. "Go take a shower really quick, make sure to shave too."

Harry gave Louis a very strange and questionable look. "Okay..." He set the paper and pen on the desk before crawling off the bed. Before he retreated into the bathroom he cast Louis one last glance. Louis sighed and sunk back down into the bed, propping his hands behind his head. If Harry wasn't in the mood he soon would be.

Minutes later Harry opened the door. There was a towel draped around his waist while he was drying his hair with another.

"Should I get dressed or would that be pointless?" He asked.

"Pointless. Now come lie down."

Harry dropped the towels to the ground and slid onto the soft bed sheets. Louis slowly tapped his side and Harry rolled to his stomach. Louis straddled Harry right at the bottom of his spine and started massaging his shoulders. Harry let out a content sigh as Louis worked the knots under his skin, pressing gently with his fingers.

"You should become a massage therapist." Harry muttered.

"No thanks, I'll stick to singing." Louis said lightly. He slowly let his hands trail down Harry's newly washed back. He smelled like guavas or some other weird fruit Harry's shampoos always consist of. The one time they went domestic shopping Harry almost bought some weird brand that was banana scented and Louis flat out refused. Instead, he redirected him to an orange or mango scent, and Harry chose guavas. Louis didn't know why, but he was glad every time he caught a whiff of Harry he didn't have to smell bananas.

Louis pressed a kiss between Harry's shoulder blades, slowly making his way down. He moved to press his fingers to Harry's sides, not to tickle him, but more to let Harry know which direction he was headed. Harry hadn't seemed to pick up on his clues yet as to where Louis was going with this, but that was okay, because he would probably go into cardiac arrest if he knew.

Tugging a pillow from the top of the bed, Louis tapped the side of Harry's hips and he lifted up. They had so much experience with each other that they had simple cues, such as tapping their sides when they wanted them to turn over, or lift up or press down, or go faster or slower. It was amazing to Louis to think that they knew each other that well; he'd never gotten to that point with someone before. Louis stuffed the pillow underneath so now his hips were propped up. He had much better access this way and pursed his lips smugly. He was going to enjoy this.

Louis continued pressing kisses down Harry's spine until his hands came to the side of Harry's arse. He felt Harry's muscles tense and his entire aura changed as it suddenly clicked in his brain.

"Louis...what are you doing?"

"Shh," Louis whispered, "just trust me." He rubbed circles with his thumbs over the soft, round skin and Louis could feel Harry's toes curling already. The anticipation was making blood course through his veins and Louis grinned in amusement. Harry's reactions were always the best.

Louis pushed Harry's legs apart and spread his cheeks with his thumbs. Harry's mouth dropped open when Louis' tongue darted over his hole. Eyes bulging, he resisted the urge to cry out when his brain was sent into overdrive and crumpled into a writhing mess. Everything felt like it was happening so fast.

"Holy hell Lou–fuck!"

Louis smirked and stuck his tongue flat, running it across the skin. Harry let out a squeak and bit his thumb as hard as he could to not make noise. Louis was licking his asshole; never in a million years did he ever think it'd come to this. Not only was he using his tongue, but his teeth and lips as well, nipping and brushing against his backside, Louis' fingerprints pressing into his thighs. The prickles from his mustache rubbed his skin raw and Harry felt his breathing increase as Louis dipped his tongue inside his hole, pushing in and out.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit–" Harry couldn't stop squirming. He buried his face into the sheets and tried to grind his increasingly hardening dick into the pillow, but it proved futile for any sort of friction. Louis pulled away and wet his lips before going back down, making Harry mewl in pleasure.

Louis slowly moved down to the inside of Harry's thigh and bit gently before he sucked, leaving a mark that was sure to stay. He left a trail of red bites up to the top of Harry's arse, then dove his tongue back in, nipping on the inside and pulling at the skin. Harry's forehead was clad with sweat and he was tugging at his hair so viciously he thought he was going to pull it all out. Louis felt his own dick harden at Harry's moans and whines as Louis continually swiped his tongue up and down, pressing in and out of the hole. Louis snaked a hand to the front of Harry's hips and found his suppressed cock leaking onto the sheets. He grabbed the base of it and Harry immediately bucked upwards. Louis smirked and pressed a soft kiss to the round of his bum.

"Easy now," He said, sliding up so he had a better grip on Harry. Starting out slow, Louis pumped until he felt Harry shaking desperately then increased his speed. Harry could no longer muffle the sounds coming from his mouth and there was no doubt other people would hear. Louis loved it, and kept going harder and faster until Harry came yelling Louis' name. Louis came shortly after and rolled off to the side, peeling off his sweaty clothes until he was naked. Harry was left lying pitifully with his arse still propped in the air. Louis couldn't contain his chuckle.

"Well?"

Harry's eyes were hazy. He slowly lifted his head and narrowed his eyes.

"Fuck you."

Louis grinned. "I love you too."

Harry groaned as he sat up, shifting uncomfortably and opting to lay on his side instead. He looked at his thumb marked with his own teeth bites.

"I mean you could've told me," He said, dropping his head back to the bed. "I would've been prepared."

"Ah, but Harry, that's the best part. You didn't see it coming so it was that much better."

Despite Harry's glazed eyes and foggy brain, he smiled. He reached out to pathetically hit Louis' face, except it more like touched it gently then slid back down to the bed.

"Now I need another shower." Harry said. Louis snorted.

"Fine. Come on."

Louis dragged Harry to the bathroom. He stepped in the shower for the second time that hour and let the steaming water relax his muscles. Louis was brushing his teeth and could clearly see Harry in the reflection of the mirror. When a brilliant idea struck Harry, he grinned and wrote a message on the foggy glass door that said, I love you. Of course, he had to write it backwards, so it took longer and looked sloppy, but Louis smiled fondly and turned around, toothbrush sticking halfway out of his mouth and white foam resting at the corners of his lips. He bent down and wrote back, forever and ever :)

Harry bit his tongue through his smile, and him and Louis stared at each other through the glass. Louis eventually went to rinse his mouth and Harry hugged himself. He'd never felt like this before; he didn't know if it was the adrenaline still coursing through his veins or the fact that Louis actually loved him. Louis Tomlinson loved him, Harry Styles, and even said it out loud and through his actions. Unconditionally, Harry wasn't quite sure yet, but what he did know was that he would give anything for them to stay together forever. This was the first time it had ever crossed his mind, but he found himself staring at his left hand where a particular item would look rather fitting on his finger. He looked back to Louis who was shaving off his small, prickly mustache that had grown, and his expression burst into a smile at the sight of him.

After his shower he felt considerably better. As great as that had felt, Harry still didn't know how he felt about it, but if Louis ever wanted to do it again Harry wouldn't protest. He brushed it teeth and pressed a minty kiss to Louis' lips as they pulled off the top sheet that was stained from their cum and curled into bed in only their underwear. Louis held him close as he turned on the television that was poised on the other side of the room on a small brown desk. He surfed channels until he found a foreign movie and kept it on that channel since there was nothing else to watch. Harry traced circles on Louis' abdomen absentmindedly.

"My birthday is on the first."

"Oh yeah?" Louis didn't look at him. "How old will you be?"

"Eighteen."

"The big one-eight." Louis said. "You'll be an oldie."

Harry frowned. "I'm not that old."

"I know, I'm older than you anyway." Louis laughed. "I'll give you the best birthday present ever, don't worry."

Harry lifted an eyebrow. "What could you possibly arrange in six days?"

Louis shrugged, but when he looked down at Harry he was smirking. "A few things. I could always get back in that French maid costume for you."

Harry snorted. "Mhm, I'd like to see you lower your dignity to that level again."

"Hey, what happens in Germany stays in Germany, kind of like Vegas but European version." Louis said. He pressed a kiss to Harry's temple. "Don't worry about it. I'll plan something great, you won't even see it coming."

Harry smiled. "Okay, I believe you."

He soon drifted into a sleep he didn't know he needed until now. Louis kept his fingers laced in Harry's hair, gently caressing as he watched the foreign movie disinterestedly. Harry was more fun to look at anyway, the way his eyelashes casted shadows on his cheeks, the way his mouth slightly parted as he fell asleep, the way his fingers occasionally twitched on top of Louis' stomach, the way his eyes fluttered as he fell into a deeper realm of sleep. Louis smiled and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's temple. He wanted things to stay like this forever. Because that was their mantra, forever and ever.

Louis soon fell asleep after, letting the sounds of the telly drown out the silence and the crescent moon shine slivers of light through the windows.

XxX


	39. Chapter 39

XxX

The next morning Harry and Louis flew to Finland. The flight was short and simple and they hadn't gotten too bored. They had a livestream today, and since neither of them wanted to do it, Phil and Nicholas had to bribe them with total privacy for twenty-four hours as well as no limits on Louis' debit card. That was enough for Louis to jump right up and get dressed while Harry was left cackling on the hotel bed.

Harry and Louis felt like kings as they walked down the long stretch of carpet on their way to the room. They were dressed in white dress shirts and black trousers – Louis had black polka-dot braces on while Harry opted for a suit coat instead – and Nicholas opened the door for them. Immediately, the paparazzi began to chatter and their cameras shuttered rapidly. The cameras were turned to them as Harry waved and they sat down on the couch. The interviewer smiled at them kindly.

"Hello Louis, Harry, how are you two today?" She asked.

"We're fine, thank you." Louis replied, and glanced at Harry. He was staring the interviewer, mouth slightly parted, and Louis narrowed his eyes. He elbowed Harry and he broke out of his trance, throwing a glare at Louis. Louis raised his eyebrows to show his acrimony and Harry immediately cowered under his gaze, lacing his fingers together and letting his head drop. Louis gave him a pleasing smile and turned back to the interviewer.

She went through the basic questions, which Louis found rather daunting. He yawned a few times, checking his watch and looking at Mr. Walter. He was writing on his clipboard as usual and was having no mercy on Louis' boredom. Phil and Nicholas were watching from the sidelines but seemingly had no intention to intervene. Maybe if Louis called a threat on the interviewer they could end this early. He was bored and he just wanted to have sex with Harry.

"So Louis, how is Eleanor doing?" The lady asked. Louis laughed a bit too quickly and leaned to Harry and whispered something in his ear. He snickered and nodded, and the interviewer watched them curiously.

"She's good." Louis said smugly, making Harry break out into a fit of giggles. Louis saw Mr. Walter lower his clipboard in the corner of his eye and decided to take it a step further. "Or, from the last time I was able to contact her. It's been a while since we've spoken."

The lady raised her eyebrows. "Oh really? Why's that?"

Louis shrugged noncommittally, but Harry was totally getting a kick out of it. He was biting his fist trying not to burst into inappropriate laughter – though it was inevitable at this point, Louis and Harry had come up with so many inside jokes about Eleanor it was ridiculous – and Louis' grin kept growing bigger and bigger. He sucked on his teeth before responding.

"Well, it's kind of rough to be on tour and your own girlfriend isn't supportive. She never returns my calls, and she could've drowned but I wouldn't know!"

Everyone reacted at once. The lady's eyes widened horrified, Phil and Nicholas' mouths dropped, Mr. Walter's clipboard clattered to the ground, the paparazzi broke out into gasps, and Harry burst into hysterical laughter. Louis licked his smirking lips as the entire studio was under a trance just because of him. He felt in control and arrogance was radiating from his skin.

Mr. Walter's knuckles turned white and he began storming towards them. The lady squeaked and fumbled to straighten her notecards.

"U-Um, looks like we're out of time. Thank you all for watching!" She stammered, and the camera was barely shut off before Mr. Walter grabbed Louis by the back of his collar and yanked him off the couch. Harry tripped when he stood up from the couch and ran after them all while Nicholas and Phil were hot on their heels.

The hour drive back to the hotel was menacingly quiet. Louis knew for a fact he was in huge trouble, he just didn't know what his consequence would be. Mr. Walter had never seemed that angry before and he couldn't even imagine what he was going to say. There was a big awkward silence the whole way and Louis just wanted it to end.

They got to the hotel and immediately Mr. Walter pulled Louis out of the car. Harry and Nicholas got out and followed them into the lobby while Phil went to park the car. Mr. Walter stopped right in front of the lift and pressed the up button.

"Stay here." He commanded Harry and Nicholas then shoved Louis inside the lift once the doors opened. He kept a hand on his shoulder at all times, then led him swiftly to their hotel room before pushing him inside, making Louis fall to the ground with a grunt. He turned his head as Mr. Walter locked the door.

"What the fuck–"

"What kind of stunt are you trying to pull?" Mr. Walter seethed. "Eleanor drowned?"

"I thought it'd be funny!" Louis retorted. "If you didn't think that was sarcastic then obviously there's something wrong with you."

"Louis, you can't just say things like that. Do you know how much damage control we'll have to do because of that?"

"I don't give a shit about damage control, I'm with Harry. Eleanor can fuck off!"

"And that's the problem." Mr. Walter said as Louis stood up and brushed himself off. "Have you seen the way you two are acting? Like small children, you're not taking this seriously. Don't think I know what happened in Germany."

Louis' face burned with mortification and he clenched his fists until his knuckles were white. When he spoke his voice was deathly low. "What Harry and I do is our business."

Mr. Walter folded his arms. "Really? Giving a public hand job is considered your 'business'?"

"Shut up!" Louis threw his hands out and paced in a circle. "Just shut up! I finally found someone and you're trying to ruin it! I'm happy why can't you accept that?"

"Louis, I'm your agent, I'm looking out for you and your career needs, not Harry's. He's a simple addition that's easy to throw away yet you're treating him like he's permanent."

"Well what if he is?" Louis' eyes were raging with emotions. "What if I've changed?"

"Louis, someone like you could never change." Mr. Walter said slowly, and Louis felt his throat constrict. "You know yourself better than anyone else. You can't change."

"Yes I can! I can change for Harry, you don't know how much he means to me!"

"Enough to drag him into this mess?" Mr. Walter raised his eyebrows. "Even after everything with Hannah, Nick, and Eleanor, you still have the audacity to say he means more to you than your career?"

"I never said that." Louis gazed at Mr. Walter through his watery irises.

There was a long pause and Louis could just feel the tension radiating through the room. It was suffocating and Louis wanted to cry. He wanted to go jump into Harry's arms and have kisses pressed to his temple and his tears wiped away by the soft caress of his thumb. He wanted to make love under the covers and whisper sweet nothing's into Harry's ear as he ran his fingers down Harry's spine, pressing kisses where his fingerprints left marks. But he couldn't, not now, and he didn't know if he ever could again after this.

"Louis, I want you to listen to me." Mr. Walter said softly. "Being with Harry is okay, there's nothing wrong with that. What's not okay is your recent behavior and lack of caliber in performance and character. Don't think for one second I'm ignorant to what goes on behind closed doors, I'm a lot smarter than you think." Louis looked to the floor as a tear slipped down his cheek. "All I'm saying is you're putting Harry over your career, which you're at a pivotal peak that needs all your time and attention. You've wanted this for years now, remember?"

"I know." Louis muttered.

"And the fact that Harry came into the picture and suddenly your entire attention is focused on him isn't good. You're in the real world, Louis, you need to start acting like it."

Louis scoffed. "Okay, so how do I do that then?"

"You need to breakup with Harry."

Time stopped. A chill washed from the tip of Louis' hair to the bottom of his toes as he stared at Mr. Walter unblinking. His mind was completely blank, there were no words to comprehend his thoughts. He opened his mouth a few times to speak but the letters were lost on the tip of his tongue. A long moment passed before he let out an amused snort.

"You're joking, right?"

Mr. Walter gave him a look and spoke sternly. "No, Louis, I'm not."

Louis narrowed his eyes as his arms dropped to his sides. There was a boiling pit of anger festering inside his stomach and he felt it rise higher and higher until every muscle in his body was straining.

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Louis, who was here first, Harry, or your career?"

"He has nothing to do with that!" Louis shouted. There was no going back, his last string of patience had been severed. "If you think I'm going to breakup with Harry then fuck you!"

Mr. Walter flared his nostrils and folded his arms. "I'm only doing what's best for you, Louis. This is why I'm your agent, to help your career flourish. You're not getting anywhere with Harry on tour with you, I didn't want him to come with you in the first place. You never focus when he's with you."

"Well then why the hell did you let him come?" Louis held his hands out.

"Because I thought it'd be good for you when in reality it was the opposite." Mr. Walter said. "Now which one is more important?"

"This isn't fair," Louis cried, "this isn't fair to me or Harry! There's no way I'm choosing between them."

Mr. Walter shrugged. "This is what it's come down to. I warned you, Louis. I gave you one too many chances and tonight was the last straw. I'm not putting up with you and him together any longer, I've made too many excuses and the media is starting to catch on, for God's sake!"

"I don't care about the media, just give me another chance, please!" Louis grabbed the lapels of his suit coat. "I swear we won't fuck it up!"

"Harry is no longer part of this," Mr. Walter swatted Louis' hands away, "it's all on you now. Either breakup with Harry or your career is over."

"You can't do that to me," Louis seethed, his entire body shaking with adrenaline, "I'm under contract with your management too. I'll just find another agent!"

"And will they have been as patient with you and successful getting you to where you are today?" Mr. Walter raised his eyebrows challengingly. When Louis' expression dropped Mr. Walter pursed his lips. "Thought so."

He went for the doorknob but Louis yanked him back by his wrist. "I'm not breaking up with Harry and my career isn't ending! You can't make me!"

Mr. Walter stared at Louis for a long time. He held out his hand and Louis scrunched his eyebrows together.

"What?"

"Give me your phone." He said. Louis gave him a weird look before pulling out his phone, unlocking it, then setting it in Mr. Walter's hand. Louis saw his fingers typing and tapping around his screen before he handed it back to Louis.

"Read that and let me know how much longer your career will last if you keep this up." Mr. Walter said, and then walked out of the room without another word. Louis glared at him then turned back to his phone. It was an article titled, Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles Secretly Together?

Louis' eyes were frozen on the headline. He quickly checked the search results, then clicked back on the article. He tried to swallow the lump that was permanently stuck in his throat but to no avail. Louis fell against the door and slowly sank lower to the floor with each word he read.

Recently, twenty-year-old popstar Louis Tomlinson took an apprentice under his wing. Harry Styles, seventeen, has risen to fame. Fans call them 'Larry Stylinson', but is there more to their relationship than meets the eye?

Tomlinson and Styles were first spotted together back in October of last year. Styles was reportedly at his radio interview at a local station in Cheshire. There have been other reports and photos of them being together in Paris, France, and Prague, Czech Republic in late October and November, as well as Tomlinson's home in Doncaster and the big New Year's celebrity party. Their relationship is unknown to the public, though Tomlinson has stated, "We are simply good friends. I met [him] whilst in Cheshire and we got along quite well. When I found out the lad could sing, I instantly knew he was meant for the spotlight! I had previously been planning an EP as promo for my own album, but immediately knew I wanted Harry's voice as a backup. I rung him up and worked out a deal with my agent and here we are now, touring for it. It's been such a great opportunity for both of us and I couldn't have done it without him."

Sounds heartwarming, correct? Styles has reportedly comforted fans while having panic attacks, donated to countless charities, kindly told paparazzi to leave him and Tomlinson alone, and among other goodly deeds only a simple boy of his stature could bring to the table. This seems fitting as Tomlinson seems to be hiding something from the public eye. Fans say they never leave each other's side, even on a day off and have reportedly been holding hands.

Tomlinson has been dating Eleanor Calder, nineteen, for almost two years. After Tomlinson's success on the X Factor, he met Calder at a signing when she was having a nearby shoot. Things automatically clicked and from there everything seemed perfect until recently. Their relationship has seemed to be on standstill as Tomlinson claims she's been out modeling and unable to contact him due to other incidents. Earlier today during a livestream in Helsinki, Finland with Styles, Tomlinson said, "It's kind of rough to be on tour and your own girlfriend isn't supportive. She never returns my calls, and she could've drowned but I wouldn't know!" Many have speculated this is only the beginning of a breakup since Tomlinson has been spending all his time with Styles. Fans have said when they see Tomlinson and Styles together they act like a couple. Some people are even calling Calder "fake" and hers and Tomlinson's relationship "dysfunctional".

A few weeks ago an inside source has come to light and confessed about Tomlinson: "Louis has always been one to date someone then breakup with them a week later. He is not very considerate of others' feelings and, having been in a relationship with him, I know how screwed up he is. He lies to protect himself and uses people for a good ****. He is cocky, arrogant, selfish, self-centered, and that's never going to change. Having known him for as long as I have, I know this as a fact. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. I feel bad for Harry since he's caught in the middle of it. I just hope Eleanor doesn't mind a bit of drama."

Is what this insider says is true? Where is Calder in all of this madness? Is Tomlinson lying to his fans and the press? Who really is Harry Styles? Are they in a secret relationship they're keeping from the world? Although these are only speculations, these insider's words have struck a chord with us.

Until then, go buy Tomlinson's album here ---> link.co/download/Louis_Tomlinson/album_no_control-2819367

Louis threw his phone across the room, hearing the screen shatter and fall to the floor with a loud thump. He sobbed loudly as he pulled his knees up to his chest weakly and his head throbbed. He was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. He would've never thought things would get this out of hand; he hadn't thought people would look into their relationship and scrutinize and dissect every single move they made. It was madness, truly madness.

If Harry ever found out who Louis really was he'd hate him. He'd leave Louis in a heartbeat and there would be no chance of getting him back. If Louis were to lose his career his family would hate him, his fans would hate him, his entire existence would be claimed a mockery of an artist until he was buried six feet underground. There was no possible way he could have both Harry and his career – he'd finally reached to the fork in the road where he'd have to choose one or the other. He didn't know how he ever survived without Harry, but on the same hand he didn't know how he'd end up without his career driving him forward.

Louis' chest rose and fell rapidly, tears streaming down his cheeks and his breathing increased. He was having a panic attack, yet right now it was the least of his worries. He didn't know what to do. No matter what he picked there would be consequences; consequences he couldn't even begin to fathom.

He just had to figure out which ones were worth suffering through.

XxX


	40. Chapter 40

XxX

Harry frowned at himself in the mirror, torn between the two suits he had with him – the one Louis gave to him all the way back from their first trip to France together and the other he was given after a photo shoot. Nicholas sat on the bed behind him with a smile on his face.

"The big one-eight, am I right?"

"Yeah," Harry vaguely recalled Louis saying the same thing back in Stockholm. He smiled at the memory and held up the pinstripe suit. "I'll finally be treated like an adult. Not that I wasn't in the first place, but, you know."

Nicholas simply smiled and looked down at his phone and Harry turned back to the mirror. It was finally his birthday and Louis was taking him out to dinner and apparently had a surprise. He had an inkling of what it might be, but he wasn't too sure and didn't want to jinx it.

Louis had been severely on edge the past week and a half and Harry had done everything in his ability not to set him off in any way. Louis might act strong but he was actually very delicate, Harry came to find out. The night of their livestream Harry was met with a sobbing Louis in their bedroom, phone screen cracked and brain unable to form any words, only to find out Johannah had been put into the hospital due to pneumonia. Louis was a wreck the entire night and Harry spent a good amount into the early hours just holding Louis, rocking back and forth, kissing his temple and telling him everything would be okay. Since then Harry had learned to be very gentle with him, not pressuring him into anything or asking too much. Harry loved Johannah dearly and wished with all his heart that she would get better. Louis could only do so much while he was on tour, and Mr. Walter was kind enough to reschedule their next performance until Louis knew she was okay.

Harry had a suspicion that something else was going on and Louis simply wasn't telling him, but there was nothing unusual in that, so Harry tried to brush it off. But every time he went to kiss Louis or hold his hand, Louis pulled away and Harry had a feeling it wasn't just because of his mother.

"So have you heard from him?" Harry asked, lowering the suit in hand. Nicholas looked up from his phone and tsked.

"Now Mr. Styles, I've been given strict instructions not to give you any information on Mr. Tomlinson's plans for tonight. All I can tell you is he's with Mr. Walter and Mr. Connors."

Harry snorted. "I told you just call me Harry." He turned back to the mirror and sighed. He really wanted tonight to go well. If things went how he imagined, he'd have a ring on his finger and his life would be perfect. He might be a little young and his mum might be sad, but he felt ready. Louis was the one, he knew for sure. The feeling swelled in his chest and made an uncontainable smile bloom on his face. Maybe after tonight Louis would finally be his forever and ever.

"Do you think it'd be corny if I wore the pinstripe?" Harry turned to Nicholas. He laughed.

"Stop worrying so much! I'm sure Mr. Tomlinson will love anything you wear. And if I'm being honest I don't think it'll make a difference at the end of the day."

Harry gave him a cheeky look then set the other suit on the bed. He held the pinstripe suit back up to his body, running his hands through his hair a few times before sighing.

"I just want to look good, you know?" He sighed again and let his arm drop. "I don't want to get my hopes up about tonight...but I feel ready, you know?"

Nicholas nodded. "That's a good thing. Just don't be disappointed if nothing happens, though, I'm sure Mr. Tomlinson wouldn't want you sad on your eighteenth birthday."

Harry smiled fondly. "Yeah."

There was a silence after that. Harry kept fretting over his hair, not sure whether to quiff it or leave it be, and he asked Nicholas for insight multiple times but all he kept responding with was, "I'm sure Mr. Tomlinson will love you no matter what you choose." Harry simply responded with an eye roll.

Harry was in the middle of undoing his top buttons after lounging around for an hour trying to waste time and not think about tonight when he hesitated. His fingers stopped on the third button down.

"Hey, Nicholas?"

Nicholas looked up from his laptop. "Hm?"

Harry bit his lip. "Um, are you sure you don't know what Louis is planning tonight? Like...do you know where we're going or–"

Nicholas was clearly amused. "Harry, it was like I said. Mr. Tomlinson is with Mr. Walter and Mr. Connors and he's taking you out to dinner at seven. My only job is to get you there on time."

Harry huffed and grabbed the pinstripe suit from the bed. Shrugging off his button up plaid shirt, he replaced it with his nice white dress shirt that Louis had also gotten him a while ago. As he started from the bottom buttons and made his way up, he reminisced on all the memories he and Louis had.

Until Louis walked into the bakery, Harry had never known what love had felt like. It had always been a skewed misconception for him; having to see his father leave his mother at a young age claiming he still loved her very much, watching Gemma go through all the pain with her pointless boyfriends, and witnessing Niall fall in love with him more every day then go off and discharge his feelings through a one night stand. Liam and Sophia were really the only examples of a real relationship Harry had ever seen in his life, yet he still didn't get it, at least not until Louis showed up.

In the beginning, Harry had been wary to fall in love. He didn't want to get hurt like his mum, or Gemma, or Niall, but now he realized that loving someone was always risky. It was risky even to love someone as simple as his best friend, because even then they could hurt him with either their words or their actions. So really, Harry shouldn't have been worried to fall in love at all, because he already loved many people in his life. With Louis, it was just a different type of love; a love that consumed his entire being and made him feel whole compared to his entire life that had always felt half-empty.

The first time Harry realized he had the ability to fall in love with Louis was the moment he walked through the door in France, after having been given spur of the moment plane tickets in his locker and flying all by himself, and Louis was there. It hadn't been a prank, he hadn't gotten mugged, he'd just been taken straight to Louis' arms and held tightly until all his inhibitions disappeared. That was the moment Harry had thought, hey, I could actually fall in love with you.

It was up on the Eiffel Tower Harry's realization had really kicked in. He was standing on a giant tower with a boy he already was infatuated with beyond all compare, hand in hand and fingertips tingling from the contact of their shivering skins, hundreds of feet above ground, yet he hadn't felt scared. That was the moment Harry knew he was in love with Louis, even though his subconscious tried to reason with him and tell him it was too early, that they'd just met only weeks ago, that it would never work out.

Harry thought those kinds of things only happened to lovesick fools. Well, it turned out he was wrong. Love could happen to everyone, they just had to take a chance.

"Mr. Styles, are you ready to go?" Nicholas cut into Harry's reverie. He shook his head to gather his composure and nodded.

"Yeah, let me button my shirt."

"I'll bring the car to the front." Nicholas said, gathering his laptop and phone, then walked out the door. Harry was left alone to his thoughts once more and he made a face in the mirror.

"Mr. Harry Styles-Tomlinson..." He pursed his lips together and narrowed his eyes. "Mr. Harry Tomlinson-Styles...Mr. Harry Tomlinson."

Harry stared at himself in the mirror for a long moment until he decided.

"Mr. Harry Tomlinson-Styles. Has a nice ring to it."

XxX

Louis hadn't told Harry any details except they were going out to dinner. He didn't even specify where, but Harry supposed it was because their cellular connection had been nothing but static and Louis was definitely not in the mood to call his phone company and complain. Louis had abruptly ended the call and sent a text that had said, Im taking you out to dinner. No more questions x

Harry was now sitting in the back of the car humming the happy birthday song. Nicholas didn't seem to mind, so he kept humming absentmindedly. Back in primary school he'd learned how to sing it in different languages, but now his newly developed eighteen-year-old brain didn't remember that far back since most of his memories were blocked up until the age of seven, so that was rather unfortunate but Harry didn't necessarily care at that moment in time.

To distract his festering nerves and wandering mind creating scenarios that were beyond far-fetched – such as Louis and him riding off into the sunset as newly-weds in a Cinderella carriage – Harry surfed his social media. He posted a picture on Instagram of the lyrics to Stockholm Syndrome, which him and Louis had finished writing last week. Louis had fallen into the bedroom half-drunk off of cheap whisky, paper and pencil in hand and handed Harry the lyrics. The only thing Harry had been able to decipher was a line about Stockholm syndrome being in the room, and from there they continued writing the next day when Louis wasn't drunk. It definitely made an interesting conversation to hear Louis be so verbose about bondage kinks.

They were planning to fly back to London sometime later that month to record it and release it later in the year. Louis had been driven to write and compose more and more songs, somehow sending a message to Harry that he was trying to prove he was a capable artist that didn't need auto-tune or people to write his music for him. Harry didn't care about that though, he just loved the look in Louis' eye when a new topic came up and was challenged to make a song out of it. Whenever they wrote together, though, it didn't last long due to Louis' attention span that lasted hardly seven minutes before he was pressing kisses up and down Harry's neck and suddenly flipping him onto his stomach.

Harry smiled. That was a good night.

The car pulled up in front of the restaurant and Harry gazed out the window and saw Verjus. He had to contain the giddy bubble of joy that spread through his body. Louis was such a sap and he didn't even know it.

Nicholas opened the door for Harry and he nodded at him in acknowledgement. Once he stepped out, it felt like he was stepping onto the red carpet. Everyone's heads turned to stare and he felt a burst of confident. A small smirk came to his lips as the reality around him finally sunk in. After tonight, nothing would be the same, and he was okay with that.

His red carpet moment was short lived once he saw Louis. He was leaning up against the side of the restaurant, arms folded and one leg propped up on the wall. For a moment, Harry was taken aback by his attire – a simple blue button up shirt with slacks and dress shoes; not as formal as Harry but still high-class enough to get into the restaurant. His hair was spiked up and Harry rather liked the change of look. When Harry approached Louis, he smiled but it failed to reach his eyes.

"Hey, glad you could make it." Louis said. Harry nodded and resisted every tempting thought in his body to grab his hand or kiss him. There were people around and they were in public. Harry had to keep reminding himself that.

"Glad I could come." Harry said, wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch him. He hadn't seen Louis all day – which was unusual because it was his birthday and Louis promised he'd make it the best day ever – but maybe he had been setting up all day for something and Harry just didn't know. Mr. Walter and Phil had been with him too so it would make sense.

"Shall we go inside?" Louis gestured his hand out, and Harry nodded, trying to push the nagging thought to the back of his mind that something was terribly wrong. Louis was acting strange, okay, it wasn't such a big deal. His mother was in the hospital and he couldn't exactly go and visit her right now and he'd been planning Harry's birthday surprise for who knows how long, not to mention they were in the middle of a tour. A little bit of stress was to be expected. Harry's shoulders relaxed. Nothing was wrong, it was his mind trying to counter all the happy possible outcomes to tonight.

The nostalgic scent washed over Harry as they cut to the front of the line just like they had last time. It earned them the same and it made Harry chuckle, and Louis cleared his throat.

"Tomlinson, table for two."

The host nodded and checked the reservation list before grabbing two menus. Harry and Louis were led to a private section of tables, and as they walked through, Harry remembered it exactly how it was a few months ago. A wave of melancholy overcame Harry as his eyes swept across all the same light fixtures and simple layout of the restaurant and took in the scent of the food. It was inconceivable to think that six months ago he didn't know of Louis' existence. His life had changed so much since then, he was no longer the innocent boy he used to be, but that was okay.

Louis gazed at him carefully and played with his fingers. Harry wasn't paying attention though, he was too busy admiring the interior.

"So, eighteen, huh? How does it feel?" Louis interlaced his fingers together after taking a sip of water. Harry grinned.

"I mean, not much different, but great at the same time." He copied Louis' actions and took a drink of water. The cool liquid ran down his throat and sent a shiver up his spine. His adrenaline was running high and he couldn't stop glancing at his ring finger. He was probably getting in over his head thinking Louis was going to propose tonight, but he was allowed to daydream.

There was a long, obscure pause, and Harry faltered setting his glass of water back down. Louis was never quiet, it just wasn't in his nature. Even when he was in an insanely bad mood he still managed to be loud. Harry tried to think of all the plausible reasons why Louis was quiet but he could come up with nothing other than the obvious. He was nervous.

"So what have you been doing all day? I've missed you." Harry said.

Louis shrugged and stared at his napkin. Harry was afraid if he looked at it any longer he'd burn a hole into it. "Just been with Phil and Mr. Walter, nothing too exciting."

Harry blinked. "Doing what?"

Again, Louis shrugged. "Just stuff."

Harry was interrupted when their waiter came by and asked for their order. Louis ordered something strange and totally unlike him, and Harry definitely knew now that it was nerves. He tried to calm his erratically beating heart and bouncing legs. He wanted to jump and scream his excitement to the world. He was getting married to Louis Tomlinson. There would be no more secrets, no more hiding. Everyone would know and they would be an inspiration to all sorts of people in the world. That's all Harry ever wanted to do – to inspire kids to be themselves and go after their dreams, even if they think they're getting nowhere in life just working at a simple bakery. Fate definitely had a plan by bringing Louis to Cheshire, and Harry couldn't help but think that this was the reason why.

"Did you see the article they wrote about me dating that fan?" Harry took another sip of his water. He was very tempted to order wine but didn't want to get too tipsy to the point where his memory was skewed. He wanted to vividly remember tonight down to every last detail, it would be a shame if he got drunk on the night of his engagement.

"No, but that's unfortunate." Louis said. The waiter brought his wine glass and Harry casted a glanced at the bottom of the cup. There was no ring, damn.

They engaged in casual conversation until their food arrived. Harry craned his neck to peek at Louis' plate and he raised his eyebrows, seemingly amused by Harry's antics.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Harry said quickly, then realized that was a shit excuse and said the first thing that came to mind. "I'm just seeing if it's thoroughly cooked. You can't trust the French."

Louis snorted and cut his food into small sections before daintily picking up his fork and taking a bite.

At first they ate in silence. Harry felt the air around them grow more and more strained the more seconds that ticked by. He vigorously tapped his foot against his chair, too anxious to even think of having an appetite but he had to act nonchalant. If Louis were to find out Harry caught on to the surprise even before it happened he would be devastated. He always prided himself in his ability to catch Harry off guard, so Harry wanted this night to be special for him.

They were both almost done with their food when Louis finally set his utensils down. Harry pretended not to notice.

"Harry." Louis said, and Harry immediately froze and looked up from his food. He forced a smile.

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk."

Harry had to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from grinning. He was about to burst into happy tears just at the mere thought of Louis getting down on one knee and proposing. Now that the moment of truth was here he had never felt more ready in his life. He had to contain his legs from bouncing up and down too frantically.

"Okay, what about?" Harry's voice cracked, and he internally cursed himself. He'd always been a bad actor, especially for cases like this. The only thing that was capable of circulating through his mind was, Louis is proposing Louis is proposing Louis is proposing Louis is proposing Louis is proposing Louis is proposing.

Louis' hands dropped to his lap and he deadpanned at his half-eaten food. Harry watched apprehensively, etching every single inch of Louis' expressions into his retinas. He wanted this moment to last forever to the point where his future grandkids got sick of listening him ramble on about how Louis proposed to him in the most romantic and nostalgic way ever. Harry's fondness was literally gushing out at this point there was no way he could possibly hold it back any longer.

Louis' shoulders aligned with his body and his Adam's apple moved up and down as he swallowed. Harry was patiently waiting yet simultaneously dying a thousand deaths just in the few seconds he was gazing at Louis, simply anticipating the words about to be put into the air.

With one last final breath, Louis looked up at Harry, his eyes dark and unreadable.

"We need to break up."

Harry froze. Wait, what? Had he heard him correctly? There was no way, Louis wouldn't ever say that. He was kidding, he had to be. Harry let out an amused scoff.

"That's a good one, Louis."

"No, Harry," Louis said, and the way his expression stayed the same stern and stoic demeanor made a wave of cold blooded dread rush through Harry's veins, "I'm being serious."

Harry blinked. This was a joke, it had to be. Louis had no reason to break up with Harry, especially on his birthday. That would be downright cruel, and Louis wasn't like that.

"I can't do this anymore." Louis continued. "This isn't good for either of us."

"Wh-What..." Harry was completely stumped. "What do you mean, Lou? Where is all of this coming from?"

"I'm breaking up with you Harry. That's it."

Something inside of Harry shattered, and he wasn't sure if it was his heart beating against his chest so powerfully to the point where it hurt or it was his mind keeping him in this terrible dream. Wake up Harry, he told himself, but for some reason he wasn't waking up. He tried pinching himself but he still wasn't jolting awake in bed and seeing Louis lying next to him then cuddling closer and falling back asleep. It just wasn't happening and Harry didn't know why.

"But...but why?" Harry stammered. His brain was short-circuiting and his words were all crashing together "I thought we, I thought you–"

"You thought what, that we were going to last?" Louis flared his nostrils. "I'm sorry, Harry, but I needed you for publicity. Because of you I'm now known worldwide." He clenched his fists until they were white then relaxed, letting a smirk come to his face. "Besides, do you really think I'd stoop that low and cheat on Eleanor? You're not that special."

Harry was completely immobilized. His mind was fuzzy, his hands were shaking, the air in the room was cold, and suddenly the warm, nostalgic smells of the restaurant seemed barren and desolate. Louis had to be lying, there was no way what he was saying was true. Harry knew Louis wasn't like this, it was all a joke.

"Is it still not getting through that thick skull of yours?" Louis narrowed his eyes. Harry felt tears spring to his eyes.

"Y-You're lying...you said you loved me, you said you wanted to be with me the rest of your life, you said–"

"I said a lot of things, Harry, that doesn't mean I meant them!" Louis snapped. He laughed. "Do you know how easy it was to make you fall in love? You were so naïve that you completely ignored what everyone was telling you!"

Harry's chest constricted. "You–"

"Wanna know why Niall hates me so much? Well guess what, he has a little secret you don't know about." A malicious grin came on Louis' face as he laced his fingers together. "Should I tell you, or do you want to ask him yourself?"

Harry's eyes quivered. "I–"

"Oh, too late. I'm going to tell you anyway." Louis took a dramatic sip of his wine then slammed the glass back down on the table, making Harry flinch. "Your little blond buddy has been a fan of mine since the beginning of my X Factor days, bet you didn't see that one coming, eh? He's always known who I was, we've actually met before on several occasions. He was really annoying, now that I think about it. He still is, but back then he stalked me all the time and it got old really fast. Of course I didn't have many fans back then so I felt special that at least someone liked me. But there was this one time he followed me into a café and we started talking. He told me all about his best friend who he was madly in love with but knew never reciprocated the feelings." Louis' lips twitched up into a smirk. "Wanna guess who that person was?"

Harry closed his eyes, wishing and praying that the indescribable pain in his chest would go away. He fisted the front of his shirt, clenching as hard as he could but no matter how much pressure he put on it the feeling kept spreading until it felt like a gigantic hole in the place where his heart was placed.

"Funny how fate works that way." Louis said, wiping the precipitation off of his water cup. "Of course, I didn't know it was you he was talking about until you sent me that picture of you two. I recognized the name Niall but I didn't think it was the same person. Kind of a bonus, really. I started dating my ex-fans best friend. He was also a big fan of Zayn too back in the day, so that's kind of ironic that they ended up shagging."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Harry asked feebly.

Louis stared at him blankly. "Because you're really stupid for not listening. Niall knows everything about me all the way from my birth dads name all the way to my cousins aunt who lives in Belgium. He's really creepy, Harry, honestly."

Harry let out a choked sob.

Louis pursed his lips in a fake frown. "I'm sorry, did I upset you? I'm just trying to help. Oh wait, didn't Hannah tell you stuff too? Oh boy, that's a story of it's own."

"Just stop..." Harry pleaded, "please."

Narrowing his eyes, Louis dropped his hand to the table. His tone suddenly turned threatening. "She was telling the truth. I cheated on her because I got sick of how clingy she was. So, while at the X Factor, I met a lovely man by the name of Nick Grimshaw who just so happened to be at the New Years party and the one strangling me. Both were quite an easy fuck if I do say so myself."

Harry wiped the tears away. "N-None of that matters. You love me, don't lie to yourself Louis."

"If I was lying would you be here right now? Would I have spent shit loads of money on you just to buy your love? Would either of us be in this stupid fucking restaurant eating shit food we don't even like?" Louis threw his napkin onto his plate. "You're an idiot, Harry. You jump in before you look. You're just a useless boy with a talent that will go to waste. No one will want to sign you after all the shitty rumors that have been spread about you. You've already tainted my reputation, no need to taint the entire industry."

"L-Louis...stop it," Harry cried, tears streaming down his face, "why are you doing this?"

"Because I don't love you." Louis' gaze burned into Harry. "I never loved you."

There were a few profound moments in Harry's life that truly changed his outlook on life. One of them was when his father left, another was when he met Louis, and another was when Niall confessed his feelings. Each of those moments were only the foundation and proof of Harry's naivety and innocence. From a young age, Harry's father taught him to be afraid of love. Louis had taught him how to love. Niall had taught him that sometimes love is unexpected, but that it was okay. And now sitting across a table from the only person who mattered in his life hearing words he didn't want to be true, it was teaching him that love was a false conception created by the human mind to trick people into thinking they're happy. Harry had never truly been in love, he'd simply been pretending that it was love.

His entire world was crashing down around him. Harry was still waiting for all of this to be a terrible nightmare and he'd wake up in Louis' arms with the sun shining through the windows and lips pressed to his temple, lazily kissing and brushing their teeth together and going out to experience another adventure. They would snog in the dressing room before a concert and embrace each other lovingly at night as they fell asleep to the sound of the cars outside with the distinct smell of pollution and melting snow, and in the morning they would wake up and do it all over again until Louis got on one knee and proposed, but in the back of his mind he knew that wasn't reality. Reality was like the sharp winter breeze that nipped at his skin and rubbed it raw unless he protected it. Harry hadn't protected himself and was just now facing the consequence.

Harry gripped the side of the table. "T-Tell me you're lying. Tell me this is a joke!"

"It's not a joke, Harry! I love Eleanor and I always have. If you think I'd trade her away for some stupid daydreamer like you then you're wrong." He seethed.

"No you don't!" Harry stood up and knocked his chair back, attracting the attention of nearby people. He didn't care if they got kicked out, he wasn't about to take Louis' shit. He'd done enough of that their entire relationship and wasn't about to let Louis blame this on him. "What was it all for then? Why'd you come to my house in the freezing cold just to apologize? Why'd you invite me to meet your family? Why'd you buy me those plane tickets? Why'd you come back to the bakery just to see me again? You don't just do that if you don't love someone, Louis! Don't lie to yourself because I sure as hell know you're just being prideful!"

Louis defiantly avoided Harry's gaze. "Just shut up already." He slowly trailed his eyes to Harry's burning impression. "Stop looking at me like I'm going to take you back. We're over." His chair scraped against the ground as he stood up and Harry grabbed his wrist before he could leave.

"You can't just walk away after everything we've been through!"

"I sure as hell can! What makes you think I want to deal with your clingy ass?" Louis yanked his wrist out of Harry's grip. "You're so selfish, thinking everything always has to be about you. I bet you thought something good was going to happen tonight, am I right?"

Harry's shoulders and expression dropped in defeat. Tears sprung to his eyes once more and Louis scoffed.

"That's what I thought. Go back home to Niall, he'll gladly take whatever he can get left of you." Louis threw money on the table and walked away. Harry felt his knees shaking until they collapsed beneath him. He stared straight ahead at nothing; he didn't even notice the tears falling out of his eyes dripping onto his suit.

"L-Louis..." He cried, another round of tears pooling on the rims of his eyes. "Louis...Louis, come back!" He stood up and stumbled out of the restaurant, tripping out of the front entrance to the curb. He caught a glimpse of Louis stepping into a black car, and before he had a chance to reach forward the door shut and he heard the tires screech away.

Harry fell to his knees as sobs wracked his entire body. He was vaguely aware that Nicholas was running up to him yelling his name, but Harry shoved him away when he tried to touch him. Harry pitifully crawled forward, desperately clawing the air and calling out Louis' name. Nicholas held him back and Harry protested against his grip. He cried harder the more reality sunk in and fell pliant in Nicholas' grasp.

Louis had left him.

XxX


	41. Chapter 41

XxX

Gemma was washing her dish in the sink when the phone rang. She narrowed her eyes and looked at the clock hanging from the wall. It was close to eleven PM, strange time for someone to be calling. It was probably a telemarketer.

She wiped her hands then threw the dishtowel on the counter. She slid over to the phone and looked at the caller ID. The number wasn't recognized and Gemma didn't want to answer but had a nagging feeling she should. She sighed and picked up the phone. Oh well, if it was an automated message she could just hang up. "Hello, Styles residence."

"Hello, I'm looking for a Ms. Anne Styles. Is she available?"

Gemma furrowed her eyebrows. The person was speaking rapidly and there was lots of chatter in the background. "Who is this?"

"My name is Nicholas Maynard, I am the bodyguard for Mr. Louis Tomlinson. I have Harry with me right now in the London airport. Things may have gone...a bit awry and he had to come home early."

"What? Is Harry okay?" Gemma exclaimed, clutching the phone with both hands. It was suddenly yanked from her grip and she jumped in surprise when she saw Anne standing right behind her.

"What happened to Harry?" She demanded, and Gemma took a step back at the fierce tone.

"Is this Ms. Styles?"

"Yes."

"O-Oh, hello, my name is Nicholas Maynard, bodyguard of Mr. Tomlinson. Mr. Styles is fine, I have him with me now. We're just headed back to your house where I can explain everything. He is perfectly safe with me."

Anne let out a stiff huff. Gemma watched her mother apprehensively.

"What did Louis do?"

"I'm afraid I can't disclose that information at this time. I promise when we arrive I will explain everything."

"Thank you." Anne said, then hung up. She put the phone back on the charger base and grabbed the dishtowel and began viciously scrubbing the dishes in the sink. Gemma fiddled with her thumbs.

"Umm...is there anything I can do?"

"When your brother gets home I don't know who will be in more trouble. Him or Louis." She said, and Gemma pursed her lips and swiftly exited the kitchen. Harry still hadn't apologized for the phone call a few weeks ago, so that added onto whatever was happening now was bound to get him grounded for more than a few weeks. He was definitely in deep shit now and Gemma couldn't help but feel bad.

Gemma glanced at her mother in the kitchen one last time before scurrying up the stairs. She entered her room and grabbed her phone on the nightstand and surfed through her contacts until she got to the N's. She clicked on Niall's name and put the phone to her ear, letting it ring. For some reason she had all of Harry's friends numbers and never thought she'd ever use them. Well she was proven wrong, and she sighed as the noise droned on until finally Niall picked up.

"Mmm whad'ya want?"

He sounded like he just woke up from the dead. "Harry's coming home." She said, knowing that would be the quickest thing to get his attention. "Something happened and he's with Louis' bodyguard."

"What?" He exclaimed on the other end, and there was lots of rustling and a thud before Niall pressed the phone to his ear again. "What happened?"

"I don't know, but if you want to find out get your ass over here."

Niall growled. "I swear, if that bastard did anything to him I'm going to–"

"Spare the details, please." Gemma pinched the bridge of her nose. "Just get over here."

She hung up and slumped on her bed. Her mind was running through different scenarios; what could've possibly happened that made Harry have to come home early? It wouldn't make sense if he was injured, and if they were coming home to record Nicholas wouldn't have sounded so urgent. Gemma let out an exasperated sigh. The only way to know was when they got here.

If Louis so much as laid a finger on Harry Gemma was going to kick his balls into next century. There had always been something fishy about him, no matter how attractive or successful he was. He treated Harry like a possession and isolated him from his friends. Now Gemma wasn't a psychologist, but she'd been through her fair share of relationships, and she definitely knew Louis was hiding something. It was written on his face the moment he looked someone in the eyes. She just didn't know what.

Niall had managed to scramble over to the Styles household in a record of three minutes and twenty-six seconds when it usually took a little over five minutes. Gemma was thoroughly impressed when he tripped through the front door after having done a shitty parking job – his car was halfway on the sidewalk but details – fretting and asking all sorts of questions about Harry. Gemma had to answer because clearly Anne was angry and most likely planning Harry's consequences starting all the way from cleaning the toilet bowl to taking away all his media, which included his phone and his gaming consoles.

The three were all sitting on the couch in a dead, tense silence when there was a knock on the door. Gemma and Niall jumped up simultaneously and raced to the door, Anne following behind at a slower pace. Niall yanked the door open and they all stopped at once.

Harry was on Nicholas' back, head buried into his neck, eyes puffy and red and tears streaming down his face. Anne suddenly forgot all of her anger and pushed between Niall and Gemma, concerned etched on her face. Nicholas let Harry slide down his back and he fell into Anne's arms, staining her shirt with tears.

"Harry, what happened?" She asked, gently petting his hair and hugging him tightly. Harry sniffed and wiped his runny nose.

"He-He doesn't love me, mum." He cried into her shoulder. "Louis doesn't love me."

Anne cast an incredulous look to Nicholas. He gave her a sympathetic look then returned to the taxi to get their luggage. Gemma went to assist while Niall and Anne helped Harry walk to the couch. He collapsed on the black leather and pulled his knees to his chest, hugging his arms around his waist. Niall set his hand on Harry's arm and rubbed it soothingly while Anne held him tightly.

Nicholas and Gemma came back with the luggage and shut the door. They joined them on the couch, all at a loss of what to say.

"Gemma, go make some tea." Anne said. Gemma nodded and quickly jumped up after glancing at Harry.

"Harry, sweetie, tell me what happened." Anne stroked his hair and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Harry's entire body quivered with hysteria.

"H-He doesn't love me. He broke up with me." He fisted the sides of his jumper Nicholas had forced him to put on before they got on the plane. "He doesn't love me."

Everyone's faces were incredulous. Niall looked absolutely livid while Gemma looked more horrified.

"That's all he said?" Gemma asked.

Harry sniffed and nodded. "He lied about everything. And he wasn't even sorry!"

Gemma scowled. "What an asshole."

Harry glared at her through his tearful eyes. "Shut up!"

"Harry," Anne said softly, "Harry, it's okay. Niall, will you take him upstairs? I need to speak with Nicholas for a moment."

"Yeah, course." Niall said, then looped Harry's arm around his shoulders. Harry immediately fell into his touch and limped upstairs while Niall held his weight. The kettle began to screech and Gemma dashed to the kitchen to turn it off. Anne pressed her fingers to her temples. Gemma came back with two mugs of tea and the adults thanked her.

"So, you were going to explain?" Anne said, still keenly aware of Harry and Niall's footsteps upstairs and the echoing sniffles.

Nicholas cleared his throat and glanced at Gemma then back at Anne. "Yes, well, you see, under usual circumstances this is confidential information, but considering the situation I find it appropriate to tell." Nicholas glanced at Gemma once more and Anne finally got the hint.

"Gemma, take your brother and Niall some tea."

Gemma frowned. "But–"

"Now." Anne said, leaving no room for arguments. Gemma's eyes widened and she hurried upstairs with two mugs in her hands, tripping on her way up. Anne leaned back on the couch.

"Okay, you were saying?"

Nicholas nodded. "Um, yes, so this isn't the first case in Mr. Tomlinson's family, it started with his birth fathers side of the family and has been passed down. He's been able to hide it as long as he takes his medication, but now it's getting to a point where he either needs a higher dosage or therapy to learn how to control it more effectively."

Anne raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly are you talking about?"

Nicholas looked up from his steaming cup with trepidation.

"Mr. Tomlinson has bipolar disorder."

XxX

Harry crawled onto the bed and immediately curled into a ball. His nose was dripping and his eyes were puffy and red. Niall grabbed a tissue box from the bathroom and set it next to his head. Harry pitifully reached for one and blew his nose.

"I'm completely worthless." Harry cried as Niall sat next to him. "If Louis doesn't want me, does anyone?"

"Shh, Harry, don't say that." Niall gently brushed the matted hair off his sweaty forehead, "It's okay. Everything will be okay."

Harry turned to face the wall and Niall laid down next to him, lightly brushing his fingers against Harry's arm. Occasionally, Harry would let out a sniffle, but for the most part he was starting to calm down. Niall just kept his touch light and gentle hoping to ease Harry's turmoil.

There was a small knock on the door and Gemma walked in, mugs in hand, and Niall sat up.

"My mum wanted me to bring you these." She said. "She's talking with that guy."

"What about?" Niall asked softly, taking one of the mugs from Gemma. She glanced at Harry and saw he was making no movements to sit up to set the other cup on his nightstand. She shrugged.

"I don't know." She said. Niall exhaled slowly then looked at Harry. He set his hand on his arm gently.

"Hey, Haz, there's tea here for you."

"I don't want it." He replied. Niall's brows furrowed.

"Why not?"

"Because Louis liked tea."

A pang of empathy jabbed Gemma while Niall refrained from rolling his eyes.

"Harry, please don't start with this whole "Louis this" and "Louis that" thing. You liked tea before him so you're going to drink it."

There was a moment of silence before Harry stirred. He slowly sat up, his eyes settled in a permanent glare, and Niall handed him a cup. Harry held it delicately and took a sip, letting his eyes flutter shut at the warm liquid. Niall took a sip of his too and noticed it was a sleepy time tea. Harry would be calm and asleep within an hour.

Gemma left the two to their tea. It was quiet in the room except for the sound of the distant cars outside and flashing greens to yellows to reds. Harry simply stared at his bed sheets, eyes unblinking and the only movement was moving the cup to his lips then back down.

Niall didn't know what to say, in all honesty. He knew from the very beginning who Louis truly was, he just didn't want to drive Harry away. At the time Harry was happy and that's all Niall wanted even if it was painful for him. To Niall, watching Harry be happy with someone else was better than losing him altogether, so that's why Niall hadn't said anything. He'd simply been a spectator throughout the madness, but now that he was staring at his broken-hearted best friend at one in the morning, he suddenly felt terrible, like he could've prevented this whole thing entirely. If he'd just spoken up and told Harry up front what happened a few years prior, then maybe Harry would've understood and backed off.

There had been a point, through, in Harry and Louis' relationship where Niall knew he no longer privilege to speak up. The moment Harry decided to take a risk and fly to France was when Niall knew he was no longer Harry's best friend, but rather someone to keep him company while Louis was away. It honestly made Niall's heart every time he thought about it but there was nothing he could've done to change how Harry felt.

I should've told him the truth, Niall thought with a pained grimace, I could've stopped this whole thing. I could've kept Harry to myself. He would've never gotten into this mess if Louis hadn't showed up for that radio interview. If I hadn't pretended not to know how much of a shitty person Louis actually is none of this would've happened. All of this is my fault. I should've ripped up that plane ticket to Prague while I had the chance, I was so close then stopped at the last second. Why? Why did I stop? Harry would've never known.

"Niall?" Harry said, and Niall was immediately brought out of his thoughts. Harry must've known something was wrong when Niall's fingers stopped tickling his arm and the way he spaced out into nothing.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay the night?" Harry asked, and Niall nodded.

"Of course."

Harry was quiet for a moment longer before he spoke again.

"Niall?"

Niall smiled softly. "Yes Haz?"

"Can you hold me?"

Niall's fingers halted on Harry's arm. Apprehension flooded through his body as he swallowed but he nodded albeit his nerves racing.

"Of course."

Harry sat up while Niall adjusted the pillow their heads would lie on, then grabbed Harry's waist and drew him closer. His back met Niall's torso and their bodies aligned perfectly once they laid down. Niall felt the arm draped over Harry shaking as he closed his eyes to take in a deep breath and take in Harry's scent. It was fruity with a hint of cologne, obviously something he recently started wearing. He bit his lip and leaned his head in further to the crook of Harry's neck, gently rubbing his thumb over the fabric of Harry's jumper.

"Louis always used to hold me like this." Harry said slowly, his voice laced with fatigue and breaking with each word. Niall listened with apprehension. "The first time we slept next to each other was in France. It just...it felt so right, everything with him, everything about him." He let out a choked sob. "I don't know what to do. Without him, what am I even doing here?"

Niall tried not to let the words sink past his skull into his brain. He smiled to ward off the feeling. "Shh, just go to sleep, Haz. I promise everything will be okay."

It seemed like hours before the silence finally calmed Harry's breathing. Right before Niall was about to relax himself, he felt Harry's breath hitch and he whispered,

"Happy birthday to me."

XxX


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Trigger warning towards the end of the chapter

XxX

"Louis is bipolar?"

Nicholas nodded solemnly, gripping the warm cup in his hands. "It's biological, as I've said."

Anne slumped back on the couch with a sigh. Her mind was spinning all while trying to wrap her head around that fact. Her son was upstairs crying because his boyfriend he didn't know was bipolar broke up with. On his birthday, no less. Okay. This was going to be a long recovery process.

"Does his mother know?"

Nicholas nodded. "Yes, she's the only one. None of his siblings know, it's something they wanted to keep private."

Anne took a long drink of her tea. She knew she'd need more than just sleepy time tea to cure this heartache. "And I'm assuming Harry knew nothing about it."

Nicholas' eyes quivered. "I'm sure Mr. Styles had an inkling. Mr. Tomlinson was rather careless taking his medication, after all. Mr. Connors had to force him a few times."

Anne sighed again since that was the only appropriate response she was able to muster. "So why do you know all of this?"

"It's mandatory. As Mr. Tomlinson's body guard I am to ensure his safety at all times, which includes while during travels with both public and private affairs."

Anne rubbed her forehead. "So what was Louis' deal then? He just decided to break up with Harry because his other personality decided to kick in?"

Nicholas hesitated. "I...wouldn't exactly say that specifically. Mr. Tomlinson and Mr. Styles were getting too – how should I put this? – too touchy in public. His agent wasn't happy since Mr. Tomlinson already has a girlfriend that were there to ward off all the cheating rumors."

"Cheating rumors?" Anne's eyes bulged. Nicholas stuttered over his words.

"E-Erm...shall I just start from the beginning?"

Anne held her hand out in defeat. "Keep it short."

Nicholas nodded and started from when Louis applied for the X Factor. He explained how Louis was with Hannah, and at the same time going to therapy to learn how to control his anger and mood swings. He had recently been having troubles with his dosages of medication and was acting out which only led to him getting in trouble on the show. He was almost kicked off multiple times, and with that additional stress, he cheated on Hannah with another contestant. It had caused all sorts of havoc and before the producers could ban him, he was signed to a contract stating he was to clean up his image before they went public with his record deal.

"That's where Ms. Eleanor Calder comes in. She was a set up as Mr. Tomlinson's girlfriend to show that he was a "loyal and dedicated boyfriend" to clear up all the rumors of him cheating and sleeping with fans. Fast-forward a year and a half when he met Mr. Styles and you know the story from there."

Anne stared at him for a really long time.

"I always knew there was something he wasn't telling us. I thought it was anxiety."

Nicholas pursed his lips. "Well, he does have that too, just not as severely."

Anne glanced to the stairs. "How am I supposed to tell Harry all of this?"

Nicholas gave her a feeble look. "I think the best option would be to just tell him, maybe shed some light on why Mr. Tomlinson broke up with him."

"So Louis chose his career over Harry?" Anne asked, and it was a rhetorical question, but it still was accusatory nonetheless. "There wasn't any compromises he could've made?"

Nicholas shrugged. "None that I'm aware of. I'm sure if there had been one Mr. Tomlinson would've taken it. He really loved your son, after all, but I think he just got scared. It's an emotion he wasn't able to comprehend or fully understand so he chose the more familiar route. I don't think this had anything to do with staying famous or not, he would've gladly taken the consequences that came with choosing your son over his career."

Anne was glaring at Nicholas but it wasn't directed towards him. She was stuck in her thoughts as seconds ticked away on the clock.

"I just honestly don't know what to say." Anne let out a breath. "What am I supposed to do? I can't go talk to his mother, I can't ring him up to tell him how heartbroken Harry is; I've never been a good role model for my own children when it comes to relationships. Their dad left when Harry was seven, he doesn't know what real love looks like." She shook her head and pressed two fingers to her temple. "I'm the one who should take the blame. I didn't pay close enough attention, I got too careless. I've just been so busy trying to pay the bills on time and make sure there's food on the table at the end of the day, not once did I stop to talk to Harry."

Nicholas frowned. "I'm sure it's not your fault, and Mr. Styles won't blame you either. You are a wonderful mother who is just doing what she feels is right for her kids."

Anne smiled bitterly. "I just hope Harry sees it that way."

Nicholas looked at the floor, not quite sure what to say or how to comfort Anne. Before the air got awkward, Anne rubbed her hands together and stood up.

"Tell you what, you can stay in the guest room tonight. It's the least I could do for your troubles."

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly do that." He shook his hands. "I don't want to intrude, Mr. Styles is more important and it's late–"

"Nicholas, I insist." Anne walked away into the guest bedroom without another word. Nicholas blinked and slowly stood up from the couch to follow her.

XxX

Niall felt Harry's breathing slow significantly. His chest was rising up and down gently and his eyes had long ago fluttered shut. The tea finally seemed to have kicked in, Niall was grateful Harry was safe and in his arms where nothing could hurt him.

Niall laid there in the quiet, staring at the wall in front of him hearing in the back of his mind the silent room ring in his ears and the trees scratch against the siding of the house. There was a dog barking in the distance and the wind howled over the rooftops as the moon illuminated white lines through the window frame onto the floor. But Niall couldn't hear any of it; the only thing he heard was the large void of silence in the room. It was deafening to the point where he wanted to make some noise to drown it out. How ironic was that situation; he wanted to silence the silence.

The peace was suddenly broken when Harry's phone buzzed loudly on his nightstand. Niall scowled but fretted when Harry stirred. If he woke up now he'd never be able to go back to sleep and Niall didn't want to spend another hour trying to calm Harry down. He slowly reached over and picked up the phone, squinting as the bright light burned his eyes. Niall opened the message and immediately felt a swelling anger burn inside of him.

He had the audacity to send a text message to Harry to try and explain himself? He was more pathetic than Niall had originally thought. Niall couldn't believe at one point in his life Louis was his whole world and he loved him endlessly; now all he saw was an abusive bipolar maniac who ruined his best friend. If Louis thought Harry was going to take him back with just one message he was wrong.

Acting out of impulse, Niall clicked on Louis' name and scrolled to the bottom of his contact. His finger hovered on Delete, but then he got a better idea. Instead of deleting his number, he pressed Block Contact so that way Harry wouldn't suspect Niall had done anything and Louis wouldn't be able to directly reach him. It was for the best; Harry would thank him later when the heartache was gone.

After deleting the message thread of all the texts between Louis and Harry, Niall set Harry's phone back on the nightstand. He was unable to do so quietly due to his shaking hands writhing with anger. Harry twitched when Niall accidentally let his phone slip onto the nightstand with a thump, but Niall quickly stroked his hair gently and whispered into his ear.

Niall's heart fluttered in his chest as his lips lightly brushed against the cusp of Harry's ear. They were so close; Niall could see every small detail from the outline of Harry's nose all the way to his jawline. His eyes lingered on Harry's lips, but instead of it giving him hope it only made him melancholic, to know Louis had touched a part of Harry so special and sacred that he had given up to no one before.

Even as close as Niall and Harry had been they had never touched in that way, but it was something Niall had longed for his entire life. He didn't remember a time Harry didn't make him happy or want to strive for more; he always motivated Niall to push himself and try things he never had before. Harry's smile had always brightened his day and his laugh was so contagious Niall couldn't help but laugh every time Harry's dimples poked through his cheeks or his green eyes glittered with inspiration when he saw something he loved or understood something.

It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair that Louis got to experience Harry in ways Niall never had before, that he got to spend nights tangled up in his limbs in just more than a platonic way, that he got to kiss Harry freely under the covers or in the kitchen after a meal or in the morning when they were getting dressed, that he got to have such an intimate relationship with him and had seen sides of Harry no one in the passing eye saw. It physically hurt Niall to know he would never know those sides of Harry because Harry would never let him.

A tear slipped down Niall's cheek and he wiped it away, pushing away the burning hollowness in the place where his heart should be.

XxX

Crash.

"Louis–"

"He didn't fucking answer!" Louis cried, pressing his palms to his eyelids. He just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted everything to stop. If he didn't have Harry there was nothing left. His life was worthless. He was worthless. "He didn't fucking answer!"

Phil restrained Louis' wrists with his own hands. Louis sobbed and struggled against his grip, biting his lip to the point where it turned white. Phil had to let go to pull Louis' lip out from under his teeth; he wouldn't have Louis physically harming himself under his watch. Louis screamed and pulled away, hitting the wall then falling to the ground where the window glass had been shattered. He clenched his palms and the glass pressed into his skin, drawing blood and leaving stains across the pads of his fingers. He brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his bleeding hands around them, tears relentlessly streaming down his cheeks.

"He didn't answer."

"I know." Phil bent down on one knee. "I know."

Louis sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. He looked at the front of his palms and stared at the lines of blood. Glass was etched into his skin and instead of being in his hands he wished they were in his heart. If he were dead he wouldn't have to deal with this.

"Ph-Phil," Louis stuttered, wiping his nose and mouth with his sleeve. "I-I'm such an idiot. Why did I do that? I didn't want to do that!"

Phil blinked and sat down slowly so his back was propped against the bed. Louis was leaning limply against the wall, unable to tear his eyes away from his hands. Phil exhaled slowly and his eyes flickered to the glimmering glass shards on the carpet. Fractures of light from the moon reflected onto the glass to the walls, creating an illusion of sanctity and beauty. That was hardly the case in the ugly truth of reality Louis was facing and would have to deal with the rest of his life.

Phil let out a breath, and Louis finally looked at him. "Every single day we make decisions, Louis, sometimes they're good, and sometimes they're bad. When we choose make a decision, we usually pick the bad one, simply because we had the choice."

Louis rubbed his raw eyes. "You could've stopped me, anyone could've! People were there, they could've done something!"

Phil shrugged. "You made your choice and you have to accept it."

"But I don't want to," Louis cried, "I-I didn't want to break up with Harry, I just didn't know what to do, I was scared! I panicked because Mr. Walter said my career would be over if I didn't choose. I just–" He broke into another round of tears and Phil set his hand on Louis' knee comfortingly. Through his sobs and cracking voice, Louis quietly said, "If I didn't do something everyone would've hated me."

Phil stayed quiet as tears continued to fall. Phil stood up to retrieve a tissue box from the bathroom then sat back down against the bed and handed the box to Louis. He took one and blew his nose then threw it to the side.

"What do I do, Phil?" Louis dropped his head against the wall. "I-I can't take it back. Harry hates me. I don't even want to live anymore, this is all so pointless."

"Please don't say that, Louis. You're very important and I know you chose something that wasn't ideal but that doesn't mean everything is pointless." Phil said. "As for what you can do, well I can't tell you that. You need to decide for yourself what you want to do, how you want to react, that's the only way you'll know."

Half and hour later, Louis was placed in the hot shower to calm down his shaking body. No matter how hot he turned the water everything still felt cold. His body was numb all the way from his toes to his ears and he was seeing blue and purple stars everywhere he went.

When Louis stepped out of the shower, he caught a look of himself in the mirror. No longer was he the person he had seen with the reflection of Harry right behind him grinning and threatening to squirt toothpaste in his hair; he was now all alone with dark circles, puffy eyes, pale skin, cold feet, and an empty heart.

XxX


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading! I hope you enjoy :)

XxX

Harry woke up to a breath tingling the back of his neck. His heart immediately pounded and he flipped his head around, fully expecting brunette fringe, slender cheekbones, and sun kissed skin. Instead, he was met with frayed blonde hair and a musky scent. Harry felt his throat constrict with disappointment as he sat up, rubbing a hand over his throbbing forehead. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy and he didn't remember falling asleep last night. He didn't think he wanted to remember.

Niall stirred from his sleep and blinked groggily, blocking the sun from his eyes with his hand. He slit his eyes and turned to Harry, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

"How are you feeling?"

Harry made a noise in the back of his throat. "Just fine. What day is it?"

Niall raised an eyebrow and laid his head back on the pillow. "Thursday."

"We need to get to school." Harry threw the covers off of him and Niall shivered when his legs were exposed, then yanked Harry back into bed. Harry glared at him.

"What are you doing?"

"We're not going to school, Harry." Niall said, his tone showing no hints of sarcasm. "There's no way you're going back after what happened."

Harry's eyes began to water and he felt pathetic. Niall's gaze immediately softened and he sat up and pulled Harry into a hug.

"Sorry, that sounded mean. All I'm saying is take a few days off, you deserve it." Niall ran his fingers through Harry's matted curls, gently working out the tangles. Harry sniffed and relaxed onto his shoulder.

"But I've already missed so much school, I'm behind."

Niall dismissed him with a wave. "That's why you have me, Liam, and Sophia. Besides, you'll actually make the teachers work for their paycheck."

Harry didn't find humor in the joke. "Niall, you don't get it. I've missed an entire month of school, my attendance and grades are going to be shit. There's no way I'll be able to graduate in time–"

"Harry, Harry, it's okay." Niall pressed his hand over Harry's mouth. "You don't have to worry about that right now. You literally just got home last night, you need a break."

"Niall, I can't sit here and do nothing!" Harry ripped out of his grip and tripped out of bed, heading to his closet. He opened the doors and in a frenzy began throwing clothes to the ground in search of his uniform. "We have to get to school!"

Niall threw the covers off his body and stormed over to Harry and grabbed his wrist. He flipped him around and Harry struggled but then went pliant in his grip. He avoided Niall's gaze as tears slipped down his cheeks. Niall lifted a hand to wipe them away.

"Harry," He said, so fragile and delicately as if Harry were going to break any moment, "it's okay."

Harry fell to his knees in sobs.

After Harry had calmed down, Niall led him downstairs slowly. They were met with Anne, Nicholas, and Gemma all chatting in the kitchen. Their conversation halted when Gemma spotted the two boys on the steps. Anne immediately made her way to hug Harry.

"I love you so much," Anne said, holding Harry's head close to her heart. Harry chuckled and felt his eyes sore with tears again.

"Mum, I literally just stopped crying."

Anne smiled and Harry pulled away. She pressed her hands against Harry's cheeks and kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry."

Harry shook his head and Gemma made her way around the kitchen island to hug him. Unbeknownst to him, Anne had filled in Gemma on everything Nicholas had told her last night, so now Gemma fully understood why her gut had always been telling her Louis was hiding something. It only made the empathy for her little brother grow since he had no idea what he had gotten himself into. Harry smiled sadly at her.

"Not you too."

Gemma lightly punched his arm. "Of course me too. You're my little brother, Haz, and I've been through this more times than you know." She said, her eyes glimmering with the memories of her past. Harry simply smiled then looked at Nicholas. Harry was rather surprised to see him still here, but knowing his mother, she forced him to stay the night simply to repay him for getting Harry back to Cheshire in one piece. If Harry hadn't of had Nicholas last night he didn't know what he would've done.

A simple acknowledging nod seemed to be all Nicholas needed as a thanks. He simply smiled in response then grabbed his coat, called a taxi then bid them farewell. Before he disappeared out the door, he leaned to Harry's ear and whispered, "I'm only a call away," then shut the door. Anne sighed.

"What a shame he's married."

Harry and Niall's mouths dropped while Gemma rolled her eyes. Anne laughed and messed up Gemma's hair.

"Don't tell me you weren't looking."

"I wasn't because he's married." Gemma retorted lightheartedly as she made her way to the sink. "Besides, he's way too young for you."

Anne and Gemma bickered while Harry was too tired to walk to the counter so he sat on the stairs. Niall sat next to him, lightly rubbing his back. He knew Harry was trying not to think about it but it was inevitable. Less than twenty-four hours ago he was with Louis and everything was perfectly fine. To think that everything went downhill so quickly was only an alarming reminder to Niall how quickly things could change. If one day Harry decided he hated Niall he could simply tell him so and that would be the end of their friendship. Niall dreaded the day that ever happened.

"Harry, come eat breakfast." Anne said as she turned on the stove. "Niall, I assume you're staying with us today?"

"If that's alright." Niall glanced at Harry. He was picking at his nails trying to act like he wasn't thinking about Louis.

"As long as your mother knows." Anne said, pulling out a flapjack mix. Niall ushered Harry to the counter and sat in silence as Anne dished up the flapjacks then set them in front of Harry and Niall. Harry stared at them for a long time, his mouth dangling open like he was at a loss for words, then tears sprung to his eyes as he pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Louis and I always had flapjacks for breakfast." He choked out. He fled to the bathroom and Niall, Anne, and Gemma stared after him flabbergasted. Anne sucked her teeth and slowly set the spatula down on the counter.

"So...who wants to go out to eat?"

XxX

Niall managed to coax Harry out of the bathroom after half an hour then forced him to get dressed. The unfortunate thing was Harry had accumulated so many clothes from Louis the past few months that it was nearly impossible for Harry to even look through his closet without having another breakdown. Niall, having been Harry's friend for so long knowing which clothes he's always had, threw Louis' clothes into a pile out of Harry's eyesight then gave him an outfit and told him to go change in another room. Harry did so begrudgingly and Niall looked at the pile of Louis' clothes exasperated.

There were two hoodies – both Adidas brand, and Niall felt envious at the simple thought of Louis being a millionaire – along with three pairs of shoes, two sweaters, one pair of jeans, four shirts, joggers, three jacket, braces, and even a pair of socks Niall had never seen before. With all the clothes lying on the floor Harry's closet looked barren. Louis must've either left things here from Christmas or Harry had just accidentally taken them home. Niall spotted Harry's suitcase out of the corner of his eye and sighed. He definitely wasn't looking forward to going through that. If he thought this was a lot of Louis' clothes then he must surely be wrong.

Along with the clothes, Louis had also given Harry many small trinkets, such as the magnetic hanging polaroid's from their photo shoot, flowers from months ago that were now wilted, chocolates, letters, souvenirs from every country, that stupid laser cube Niall wanted to smash into the ground when Harry first pulled it out of his locker, and all the unspecified movie tickets. Those could be useful but since Louis got them for Harry they would have to be thrown away. Niall didn't want Harry associating anything with Louis anymore. It was for the best.

When time began to pass and Harry still hadn't come out of the bathroom, Niall groaned and threw the wilting flowers to the ground and walked down the hall. His knuckles rasped on the door and he folded his arms.

"Harry, you're taking forever."

There was no response. Niall rolled his eyes.

"Come on."

"I don't want to do."

"I know, but you need to."

The door unlocked and Harry came out scowling with his bloodshot eyes. The dark circles were more prominent and he looked a bit pale. It was concerning, and Niall just wanted Harry to eat a hardy meal, drink some water, then sleep for as long as possible.

Niall had to drag Harry to the car even though he complained the entire time. If Harry was going to act helpless, Niall was going to treat him like he was helpless, so he started to buckle Harry into his seatbelt but Harry quickly swished Niall's hands away. He glared at Niall and he simply shrugged in response. At least he got the message.

"So where do you kids want to eat?" Anne asked one they had gotten out of the neighborhood, looking out the windshield.

Niall glanced at Harry nervously. "There's this family-run restaurant I know of. It's right past the school, I heard it was really good."

"Oh yeah I heard about that place." Gemma spoke up. "I've never been there before though."

"What do you think, Harry?" Anne looked to him through the rear-view mirror.

He shrugged. "I don't care."

Anne pursed her lips. "Then we'll go there."

They arrived minutes later and waited inside to be seated. Harry was fiddling with the ends of his shirt the entire time, holding his beanie between two fingers rubbing the material back and forth. Eventually they were seated and Anne and Gemma sat across from the two boys. When their waiter arrived, Harry did a double take when a fringy brunette stood at the head of their table with a bright smile.

"Hi," He greeted cheerfully, "my name is Percy and I'll be your waiter this morning. Can I start you out with drinks?"

"Water." Gemma said. Percy nodded and turned to Anne and Niall and they said the same. When he turned to Harry, Harry could only stare at him blankly.

"And for you?" Percy asked, smiling.

After a long moment of silence, Niall put his hand on Harry's forearm and glared at Percy. "He'll have water." He said firmly.

Percy seemed taken aback but kept smiling. "Okay, I'll be right back." He left and Harry's eyes followed his every move. Niall noticed this and quickly averted Harry's attention by pointing to everything savory on the menu.

Percy came back with their waters and Harry's eyes never left his. Percy was obviously aware by the way he lingered at their table a little longer than necessary and Niall scooted closer Harry despite him. A small frown made it's way to Percy's expression and Niall smiled at him smugly. For good effect, he leaned so close to Harry's ear that the curls sticking out of his beanie were tickling his nose.

"What do you want?" He asked, flicking his eyes to Percy. He seemed displeased as he pulled out a notepad and a pen. Gemma and Anne were already ordering meanwhile Niall hadn't even skimmed over the menu.

"I'll just have the special." Harry muttered, flipping the menu closed with more force than intended. He threw it not-so-gracefully to the head of the table and slumped his chin on the palm of his hands. He didn't want to be here eating breakfast with three people who were only trying to distract him from the worst day of his life; he wanted to be in France with Louis having the time of his life cuddling and kissing and passionately making love under the covers until the morning light all while taking sappy pictures and writing sappy love songs about each other. He wanted to be a simple tourist travelling with his boyfriend and buy him pointless gifts and spend time with people he cares about. That's what he wanted to be doing, not sitting here wishing Percy's eyes were a little more blue and Niall's hair was just a little less blonde.

Percy took the menus and left. Harry watched him walk away and tried not to imagine the back of his head as Louis'. Their hair was different, only minimally, so if someone were to see both of them in public they would think it's the same person from behind. The fact that they looked so similar was making the ache in Harry's chest throb again and he wanted it to go away.

The three engaged in conversation while Harry sat there. A few times he let his mind wander too far and would feel tears pool on the rims of his eyes, but he would gulp down some water to repress the emotions. Neither Anne, Gemma, nor Niall seemed to notice.

About ten minutes later their food arrived steaming and smelling delicious. Harry went straight for the side of bacon since that's all he wanted and felt like he could stomach. A few times he stole some hashbrowns from Niall's plate, which he didn't seem to mind. No one ever dared eat Niall's food but Harry supposed this was a special case.

"How is it?" Niall asked, glaring at Percy as he walked past their table. Harry shrugged and took a small bite of his strip of bacon. Anne, Gemma, and Niall stared at him carefully. Harry scowled and looked up.

"Stop staring at me."

Anne frowned. "Harry, we just want you to be okay."

"Don't. I'm as great as I'll ever be." He pushed away his plate and crossed his arms on the table. "I'm done."

"But you hardly touched it." Gemma said, looking at his full plate of food.

"I'm not hungry."

They fell into a silence after that. They hardly spoke, and if they did, it was Anne asking Niall about school or Gemma talking about college and her friends. Harry had nothing to talk about since the last five months have been nothing but Louis, and before that they already knew everything. So he said nothing.

As they were leaving the restaurant, Niall gave Percy a dirty look and hooked Harry's arm through his own. Percy simply flared his nostrils and picked up menus before going to seat someone else. Harry didn't pay attention.

The minute they arrived home, Harry went straight to his room and crawled in bed. He just felt so tired, like the kind of tired that sleep couldn't cure. It was etched behind his eyelids and made his knees weak and his insides frail. His heart felt like paper torn in half one too many times then crumpled and thrown on the ground. It was a never-ending cycle.

Harry felt like he was trapped in a cage, even in his own room. Everything he did or saw reminded him of Louis. His nightstand, his phone, his clothing, the scent on his pillow, his bed, the window they had looked out over the snowy rooftops, fall, winter, Christmas, the moon at midnight, flapjacks, and even his own skin. Louis had invaded every single part of Harry's life and now that he was gone there was a huge gap left that Harry didn't know how to fill. He didn't even remember what his life was like before Louis came into it.

There was a small knock at his door and Harry lifted his head from his pillow. Niall was standing at the doorway, concerned apparent in his features.

"You okay, Haz?"

Harry turned to face the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest. "No." He sniffed and wiped the tear that had made its way down his cheek. "And I don't think I will be ever again."

"Hey, don't say that." Niall moved past his door and sat on the bed. He brushed Harry's curls away from his forehead. "You're one of the strongest people I know, and if you can get through your eighth birthday you can get through anything."

Harry closed his eyes at the memory. It was a few weeks after his dad had told him and Gemma he was leaving, Harry was turning eight and still had the hope in the back of his mind that his dad was going to watch him blow out the candles then take him to the park to play football. It was going to be the best day ever, until the day actually came.

Their dad hadn't shown up and so it was just Anne, Gemma, and Harry all huddled around a measly cupcake with an unlit candle because their mother couldn't afford a cake mix or matches. Harry remembered looking up at his mother through teary eyes seeing the space that was supposed to be filled by his father but was empty instead. Later that day the Horan's had come over for a small celebration with their family but it still hadn't changed the fact that Harry now had a huge gap in his life that he never knew could be empty.

Harry was brought back to the present when Niall kicked his shoes off and laid on the bed next to him.

"Do you remember the time you and I snuck into Liam's back yard? He hadn't talked to us for days and we didn't know why."

Harry sniffed and nodded.

Niall smiled. "I remember we were so worried something had happened. But when we got there it turned out he only got glasses and didn't want to show anyone. And when we hopped the fence we broke his mum's favorite flower pot because of your clumsiness."

Harry cracked a smile. "Yeah, I remember."

Niall looked at Harry fondly. "That day was so fun. We ended up sneaking Liam out and playing football in the park even though his parents wanted him home. Those were the good days before we got into high school. Everything just seems so different now."

Harry craned his head backwards. "What do you mean?"

Niall shrugged. "We kinda grew apart, y'know? Liam got a girlfriend, you were working, I was studying, our lives weren't on the same paths anymore but we were still friends."

Harry looked back to the wall. "Yeah."

"But I mean, look at us now." Niall snorted. "We all went to that crazy New Years party and made it back still in one piece, and if that doesn't say friendship then I don't know what does."

Harry smiled and rolled to his back. The New Years party was crazy, more than half the time Harry had no idea what was happening since Louis would come and go every two minutes, Zayn kept pulling him in different directions, he had been worried about Niall's knee, and he was worried that Sophia would get lost and Liam wouldn't be able to find her. Then to see that guy holding Louis by his neck had been unnerving, then only to find out later that it had been Nick. Harry's smile suddenly dropped as a wave of nausea washed over him. Nick and Eleanor had both been at the party without his knowledge. Louis had lied to him again and again simply to save himself; it had nothing to do with Harry. Louis was selfish and had only looking out for himself the entire time.

"Harry, why are you crying again?" Niall asked softly.

Harry hadn't even noticed the wetness on his cheeks. He brushed his fingers against the dark circles under his eyes only to feel the tears soak into the lines of his fingerprints. He let out a choked sob and curled into a ball, hoping with every fiber of his being that he could just disappear. Niall frowned and immediately pulled Harry to his chest, whispering softly into his ear and gently caressing his arm with his thumb. Harry didn't feel it, though. He couldn't, not because he was shaking, but because his entire body was numb.

XxX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts or comments? What do you think is going to happen? :) leave a comment!


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry I've been on vacation and haven't had Wi-fi. Here's another chapter!

XxX

The next week marked eight days since the breakup. Niall regretfully had to go back to school on Monday leaving Harry by himself. Niall had been a good support system when Anne or Gemma were gone, but Harry didn't want to rely so heavily on Niall, so acted like he didn't need it when really he was internally screaming for help.

There were days Anne couldn't get off work, Gemma stayed home from school to keep an eye on Harry. Eventually when she couldn't afford any more days off, Harry had the option to either go back to school or stay home, and he chose home. He wasn't ready to face the social rejection and torment he would face with his peers; Niall, Liam, and Sophia were really the only ones outside of his immediate family he trusted but still didn't expect them to protect him. He brought this upon himself and therefore had to face the consequences.

The days Harry was left in the house alone he mostly stayed in bed, rocking in and out of sleep until someone came home to drag him somewhere pointless like the grocery store or the bank regardless if he was dressed. He was never hungry and if he was it was at three in the morning when he would shuffle down to the kitchen and grab a box of cereal from the pantry then trudge back up the stairs. His mum had picked up on his eating habits and coaxed him to eat breakfast with her and Gemma in the morning but Harry was never hungry. His body had been on autopilot for a week and he wasn't sure he wanted the numbness to go away, because if it went away that meant he had to feel again.

He avoided going outside too, since there had been a few incidents where paparazzi had come to his house, pointing their cameras and shouting questions into the air. Anne called the police without hesitation and they were all escorted away firmly, but Harry had still been sitting in the corner with his knees pulled to his chest, stomach churning and fingers shaking at the reminder of what he used to have. After that he always kept his blinds shut.

Liam and Sophia had tried reaching out to him numerous times, but Harry simply declined their calls or ignored their texts. The only one he would let in the house was Niall, and only once had he scolded Harry for his lack of consideration. Harry didn't care, though, because the only thing he felt was the large hole in his chest that consumed him more and more each day. Even if he was in the middle of something it was still there nagging in the back of his mind.

To think that Harry was going through insufferable insanity and Louis was probably having the time of his life selling records and making millions was the thing that hurt the most. Louis had probably moved on to bigger and better things; including a new girlfriend that he would spoil rotten and do everything he and Harry used to when they were together. He would poke her dimples, compliment her curly hair, kiss her when she's frowning, tickle her when she's sad, cuddle her when they're happy, and be able to hold her hand in public unlike him and Harry. That was what hurt the most, knowing Louis had probably already moved on with no recollection of anything him and Harry went through. The mere thought made Harry want to drown.

From his fetal position on his bed, Harry heard the front door open downstairs. He closed his eyes and continued to lie in his pool of empty ramen packets, hoping whomever it was that they would just go away. He didn't know the last time he'd left his room or even took a shower, but he did know that his eyes felt like they were going to fall out of their sockets from how much he'd been crying. It was pathetic, honestly. Harry couldn't go half an hour without so much as a thought of Louis, whether it was a good memory or a bitter remark.

His door handle jiggled and he slit his eyes open. Just by the persist nature, he knew it was Niall. A fist banged on the door.

"Harry, let me in!" Yep, it was Niall.

Harry debated whether to hurry up and hide his mess or ignore him completely. Since Niall had made a point to come over every day after school and spend his entire night with Harry regardless if he had homework or not, it's not like he had a choice whether to let him in or send him away. Harry couldn't say he was too happy about Niall constantly being in his business but deep down he actually enjoyed the company; it made him feel validated for being such a loser. Because at least Niall was being a loser with him.

"Harry, don't make me kick the door down!"

Harry let out a big sigh and rolled out of his salty sheets. He unlocked the door and opened it, staring blankly at Niall.

"You couldn't kick a door down if you tried."

Niall's face broke into a grin. He pushed past Harry and dropped his knapsack on the floor but then stopped when he looked around the room. He turned back to Harry with a look of incredulity.

"Did something die in here?"

Harry rolled his eyes and plopped back down on his bed. He faced the wall since he wanted to go back asleep. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Niall.

"Haz," Niall said, picking up scattered ramen packets from the floor, "have you been living off of ramen?"

"And Lucky Charms." He added. He felt the bed dip behind him and turned his head. Niall look disgusted as the salty seasoning fell off the bed to the floor and onto his shoes.

"This is disgusting." Niall stood up and more salt fell from his trousers. Harry narrowed his eyes. "Where's Gemma and your mum?"

"Work and school."

"They left you here alone?"

"It doesn't matter."

Niall pursed his lips as his eyes fell on Harry's back. He was still wearing the same jumper from the night he arrived. He had changed into sweat pants the second day, but even now he was still wearing them. His hair was greasy and tangled and the roots were starting to look like dreadlocks. There was a foul odor emitting from the spill located on his pillowcase and Niall didn't even want to ask. He sighed.

"Okay, Harry, I don't want you to hate me but it's my job as your friend." Niall put his hands on his hips. "You need to move on. It's been a whole week and you've just been rotting away in your own filth."

Harry turned to glare at him. "Shut up. I don't want to."

Niall ignored him. "You can start out by taking a shower."

Harry let out a whine and Niall rolled his eyes. He shrugged off his blazer and threw it on top of his knapsack, readjusted his tie, rolled his shirt sleeves up, then bent down to fasten his arms underneath Harry's legs and back. He squeaked as Niall picked him up bridal style and Niall marched him out the door and into the bathroom. He dumped Harry on the counter and Harry folded his arms as a weak defense mechanism.

"When did you get so strong?" Harry asked petulantly. Niall grinned and flexed his muscles.

"You're not home as often as you think you are, Haz. Liam and I started going to the gym. Now," Niall turned on the water then turned back to Harry, "get in."

Harry gave him an irritated look. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

Niall gave him a look. "Harry."

"The last time I showered was with Louis." He blurted, wringing the sleeves of his jumper. He then shook his head. "Or, the last time I can remember we did. But, I just, I don't–I don't just want to let it go that easily. I love him."

Niall felt his heart sink to his stomach. He took in a deep breath and clenched a fist. He tried to think of things logically; Harry had been with Louis 24/7 the past month and they'd been together officially since October. It had only been a week since the breakup and Harry was recovering and still had crying fits here and there. Harry had given a part of himself to Louis that was deep and intimate and now he wouldn't ever get that back. Deep breaths, Niall had to remind himself, you can do this.

"So...you don't want to "wash away" those memories of you and him."

Harry shook his head and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"Okay," Niall said carefully, ignoring the pulsing in his chest, "so what if I help you?"

Harry head snapped up and he scowled. "What do you mean?"

Niall shrugged, trying to act like his heart wasn't beating as erratically as it actually was. "Well I mean you always showered with Louis so you're used to someone being in there with you, right?" Harry nodded slowly. Niall cleared his throat though his words still stuttered out in a jumbled mess. "So I could with you if you wanted."

Harry just stared and Niall felt every inch of his skin flame red. He was just waiting for Harry to say something, anything, to relieve him of the embarrassment he just brought upon himself. Eventually, Harry let his legs drop down and he scoffed.

"Don't treat me like a child. Don't look." He hopped off the counter and pulled the jumper over his head. Niall immediately swiveled around and bit the inside of his cheek to the point where it felt like it was going to draw blood. His heart was still racing and he tried to redirect his mind else ware.

Niall didn't really find it necessary to turn around since him and Harry had seen each other naked plenty of times, but if Niall were to guess anything it was because now Harry felt uncomfortable. For a long time he had only belonged to Louis and so for that intimacy with him to be gone Harry felt strange being exposed to anyone else. Niall tried not to let it hurt his feelings but it actually did. To think that he and Harry used to be so close, but now he'd been replaced by Louis.

Harry stepped in the shower and Niall heard the water spray against the wall. He sunk to the floor and scrolled through his phone to pass the time. He texted Liam back and forth until he felt the steam start to spread through the bathroom, making Niall's skin start to glisten. The humidity was making him hot so he undid his top buttons and wiped the precipitation off his forehead. When it became too much, he stood up and reached for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Niall stopped at Harry's voice. He sounded so desperate, so needy, and Niall tried not to let his heart break at the sound.

"It's hot in here, I'll just be in the hallway." Niall responded.

"Can you stay in here?" Harry asked, his voice raw and laced with exhaustion. Niall wouldn't be surprised if he was crying behind the curtain. "Please?"

Niall furrowed his eyebrows and his hold on the doorknob loosened. "Why?"

"Because I don't want you to leave."

There was a long silence after that. The only thing heard was the deafening water hitting the tile floor. Niall slowly closed the door and slid to the floor, leaning his head against the door. He closed his eyes and heard a soft rustling behind the curtain.

"Niall?"

"Yeah, Haz?"

"Just making sure you're still here." Harry said quietly. Niall blinked slowly, letting Harry's words settle in his mind. Harry had honestly felt like he'd lost everything. He was suffering on the inside and Niall didn't know how to help him other than to always be in his company. Harry had to heal on his own terms in his own time and there was nothing else Niall could do but wait.

Half an hour later the water shut off and Niall covered his eyes while Harry stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He shook out his hair and water droplets hit Niall, making him yelp.

"Aye keep your soggy mop to yourself!"

Harry cracked a smile. He looked better already – his skin was glowing and the natural vibrancy in his eyes was returning. The sadness was still there, but it was slowly fading. It didn't mean he was completely healed, though, it just meant he was moving forward.

"Can I go change now? I feel like I've been through a dry cleaning." Niall panted and fanned his shirt. Harry nodded.

Niall picked out some lounge clothes for the both of them. They were practically the same size so he never had to worry about getting his clothes dirty then having nothing to wear. When he walked back into the bathroom, he saw Harry drying his hair with another towel. It had grown longer since the beginning of the school year and Niall hadn't seen it that long since seventh year. His eyes trailed down Harry's body, seeing it still in it's fit glory. Harry still looked the same yet somehow looked different. His skin was unscathed and Niall felt like his eyes were gliding across a piece of artwork.

Niall continued to stare until Harry cast him a look through the mirror.

"What?" He asked.

Niall blinked out of his stupor. "Nothing." He handed Harry the clothes then went to change in another room.

After Harry got dressed, he went to retreat back into his room but Niall dragged him downstairs before he could go swimming in his sea of ramen salt again.

"Where are we going?" Harry whined.

"I'm ordering take away." Niall said, pushing Harry to the couch. He huffed and folded his arms like a child and Niall pursed his lips. "Unless you want pizza?"

Harry pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I'm not hungry."

"Pizza it is then." Niall took out his phone and dialed the number. Harry half-listened to the conversation as he kept tuning in and out until Niall held the phone away from his mouth. "Do you want meat on it?"

"Is that even a question?" Harry mumbled. Niall grinned and turned back to the phone, pacing around the living room until finally he was done ordering. He hung up and jumped over the back of the couch and plopped next to Harry eagerly, then grabbed the TV remote and turned on Netflix. Harry gave him a weird look.

"Are we turning into teenage girls?"

"Just trust me." Niall waited for the screen to load before picking Harry's account. "What do you want to watch?"

"I want to sleep." Harry sunk down horizontal so his head was on the armrest. He tried to curl his legs to his body but Niall threw them over his lap instead.

"Okay, we're watching Pokémon."

Harry groaned loudly. "Now I'll never sleep. You sing along to everything."

Niall grinned cheekily and surfed through Netflix before clicking on the show. He chose the first episode then set his legs up on the coffee table. Harry put one hand under his cheek and watched the intro play. He flinched when Niall burst into the chorus, doing the harmonies and everything. Niall was a great friend, but on days like these he was too much. Harry still loved him though.

By the time they were a little more than halfway through the first episode, the doorbell ran and Niall squealed, throwing Harry's legs to the floor then dashing to the door. He paid the delivery boy and brought the steaming pizza back to the coffee table. Harry caught a waft of the smell and scowled. Okay, so maybe he was hungry.

Niall grabbed two plates from the kitchen and handed one to Harry. He sat back down and immediately dived in for the biggest piece. A few times Niall yelled at the TV, telling Ash to run faster or at Pikachu to stop being a dick. Harry couldn't help but smile each time.

"What's your favorite Pokémon again?" Niall questioned through a mouthful of pizza.

"Sawk." He responded, closing his eyes.

"Mine's Oshawott."

Harry opened his eyes in a quizzical look. "Why?"

Niall pursed his lips. "Uh...well, Zayn and I talked about it once. He said I'm like Oshawott."

Harry gave him a suggestive look and Niall shoved Harry's legs off his lap again. Harry laughed and sat up.

"I still can't believe you two shagged."

"I still can't believe it's not butter." Niall retorted, and when Harry gave him a weird look, Niall narrowed his eyes. "That's how relevant your comment was. Now shut up and watch the show."

Harry burst into laughter. "Damn, someone's sensitive!"

"We don't talk anymore, okay?" Niall huffed and took a defiant bite of pizza. "I've been too scared to call or text him. And I don't even think it'd work out anyway 'cause he just broke up with Perrie."

Harry shrugged and turned back to the show. Apparently Niall still held bitter feelings towards those few nights spent in London and Harry didn't blame him.

After Ash stole Misty's bike and the Spearow were chasing after him, Harry thought back to when he used to think how emotional the scene used to make him. Pikachu showing his ultimate loyalty to Ash by protecting him from the angry birds – Harry remembered crying one time while re-watching the episode at three in the morning after a particularly long and exhausting day at school. Now sitting there with Niall watching it again after everything he'd been through he just thought it was stupid.

After the episode was over, Niall clicked onto the next episode. Harry looked at him confused and Niall returned the look with a piece of pizza halfway in his mouth.

"How many are we watching?" Harry asked.

Niall nodded in understanding then swallowed his pizza. "As many as we can fit in tonight. So if each episode is approximately twenty minutes long, we can get about three episodes in each hour. If I have to go home at nine, and it's only three-thirty, we can get to about episode sixteen–"

"Shut upppppp." Harry groaned, pressing his fingers to his temples. "You're making my head hurt."

Niall grinned and patted Harry's head sympathetically. "But think about it, if we can get fifteen episodes in a day we'll be done with the first season by Saturday!"

"No fucking way." Harry growled. He threw a couch cushion at Niall and he giggled, throwing one right back.

They kept watching until Harry dozed off with his legs draped across Niall's lap again, just leaving Niall to his own personal party singing along to the soundtrack. A few times Niall would exclaim an atrocious sound trying to imitate a Pokémon, and Harry only kicked him in response to get him to shut up. Niall threated to tickle his feet but Harry only returned the threat to kick him in the balls. That made Niall go quiet all the way until Gemma got home. She wasn't surprised to see Harry asleep and Niall quoting the entire episode and simply shook her head at the two. When Anne got home, she smiled at the sight of them.

"Hello Niall, nice to see you here." She eyed the pizza box on the coffee table and her sleeping son on the couch. Niall smiled.

"Just thought I'd spent some time with Harry, ya know?"

She nodded. "It's appreciated. How is he?"

Niall glanced at Harry. "Asleep finally, but he's good. He's just pissy all the time but I guess I can't blame him. I got him to shower today which was a miracle."

"That is." Anne set her purse on the counter.

"He's been living off of cereal and ramen, did you know that? His room looks terrible; you'll definitely want to wash his sheets. They're disgusting."

Anne blinked and then sighed. She walked over and kissed Harry on the temple then left him to sleep peacefully. Niall's eyes stayed glued onto Harry's features. His cheekbones were so sharp, his nose was so defined, his lips were so perfectly sculpted – everything about Harry was perfect. Niall didn't understand why someone like Louis was able to enjoy such a luxury for so long and then throw him away like he meant nothing. If Niall were to ever get that privilege he'd never take him for granted. Ever.

He continued to watch Pokémon until a few hours later Harry woke up to the smell of dinner. He twitched in his sleep before sucking in a deep breath, his eyes immediately popping open and fingers contracting. Niall paused the show and smiled at him.

"Sleep well?"

Harry simply flared his nostrils at him then got up to shuffle to the kitchen table. Niall watched amused. No response was better than any other option; Niall had consistently been worried about Harry running off and hurting himself or doing something he would regret later. He came over every day after school to make sure he was okay, because if Niall didn't have Harry he would have nothing left. Harry was his best friend he was utterly and regretfully in love with, but he wouldn't change a thing.

Over the course of the next few days, it was routine for Niall to walk through the front door of the Styles household and find Harry waiting for him on the couch so they could watch Pokémon. Niall would smile and order pizza – with meat, of course – then watch until nine-o'clock when Niall had to get home to finish homework. They got a good chunk of the show watched by Thursday night, and Niall bid Harry goodnight as he walked out the door to go back to his house.

Niall had hardly gotten any homework done the past two weeks, but he didn't care. Right now Harry's health and emotional needs were more important, and even if that only meant he fell asleep with his legs thrown over Niall's lap while they ate pizza and watched cartoons, it was still progress. Slow, but sure progress.

XxX


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Lots of swearing and severe triggers in this chapter. If you are uncomfortable with suicidal thoughts and self-harm then I highly advise you not to read this chapter.

XxX

It was Friday. Fifteen days after the breakup.

Not that Harry had been counting.

He'd woken up from and unexpected nightmare and felt rather vulnerable. He knew for a fact that Niall was still at school and his mum and Gemma were at work and college. He didn't want to bug any of them since all of them were already sacrificing so much. Niall was spending every day after school with him, Gemma took him places with her friends, and Anne had taken off some time at work just to stay home with him and make sure he was okay. Harry didn't want them to sacrifice their lives for him, he got what he deserved and had to deal with it.

The silence in his house was frightening. It was past noon so that meant Niall wouldn't be over for almost two hours. Harry wrapped the blankets around his back and held them close. There were voices whispering in the back of his mind text him, text him, but he couldn't find the courage to listen to them. He was afraid if he even tried to move something might happen. The monster was still lingering over his head taunting and mocking him, saying he was a fool for thinking he could move on. Harry glanced at his phone nervously, looking around his room for any signs of another presence. There was none, so with one breath of courage he swiped his phone from his nightstand then hid under the covers. He tensed every muscle in his body and waited, waited, waited, until nothing happened. He hesitantly opened his eyes, fearing the worst, and let his muscles relax.

It's all in your head, Harry, he reminded himself. There's nothing going to kill you. You're fine.

Harry slowly unlocked his phone. Louis hadn't texted him in the whole two weeks they'd been split, so that meant he didn't care. If he truly cared, he would've at least sent a message to Harry asking if he was okay. But since that wasn't the case, Harry knew Louis had moved on.

He hadn't wanted it to end this way, so abruptly and unexpected with every string severed in the most painful way. Harry didn't remember exactly what Louis had said to him, only that he'd never loved him and he was a waste of talent. Harry felt tears prick at the rims of his eyes and he wiped them away. How could Louis ever say that about him? It stung Harry in the deepest part of his mind to know that Louis actually felt that way; that the whole time he thought Harry was wasted talent and was impulsive and stupid. If Louis, someone Harry loved immensely and looked up to as both a role model and a business partner, thought that, then what did other people think of him?

The soreness in his eyes only got worse as he hit his phone against his head. He just wanted answers, an explanation as to why things ended the way they did. He had no closure whatsoever and didn't know how to handle the situation. The past two weeks he'd been floating in a subspace of confusion and disarray. He just wanted all of this to be a bad dream. He just wanted to wake up. He just wanted this to end.

Harry felt every inch of anticipation run through his body. No, he wasn't going to get answers. Not from Louis, at least, but he had another idea. Another idea that involved a certain girl he met in Doncaster and had given him her number with a surety that she would respond no matter what the topic.

His fingers moved across his screen so quickly he hardly registered what he typed before he sent it.

To: Hannah

Tell me why he did it.

Once it showed delivered, Harry immediately chided himself. He was so stupid, why would he go to the one person who knew Louis from the inside out; only to find answers he didn't want to accept?

That was just it. Hannah knew Louis better than anyone and could shed some reality on his fantasy-induced life. He wanted to get out of this rut he'd been placed in, and Hannah was the only person capable of bringing him out of it.

He flinched when his phone buzzed and was surprised to see Hannah had responded almost immediately.

From: Hannah

Is this Harry?

To: Hannah

Yes

From: Hannah

Oh hi Harry :) Are you talking about Louis?

Harry bit his lip at the name. Everything was suddenly becoming so real. He'd been in denial the past few weeks but had to come to terms with the outcome sooner or later. He rubbed his raw eyes, his heart sinking with each passing second on the clock.

To: Hannah

Yes.

From: Hannah

Well i don't know anymore than you do. I only saw the article my friends were talking about

To: Hannah

What did the article say?

From: Hannah

Like i'd remember. Why don't you go read it yourself? Im srry to hear about the breakup by the way, you deserve so much better

Harry's heart clenched. Maybe Louis wasn't wrong after all about him being stupid and impulsive; he texted Louis' ex to ask her why Louis broke up with him for fucks sake. Was he really going to go purposely search articles about their breakup when it's only been two weeks since it happened?

From: Hannah

To make it easier on you this is the one that's causing the most drama

http://link-article/381936/Louis_Tomlinson_and_Harry_Styles_16291.htm

Harry hesitantly clicked on the link. It brought him to the Internet and redirected him to the page. He honestly didn't know what to expect, but the instant he saw the headline Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles Secretly Together? he knew it was going to be absolute hell.

Recently, twenty-year-old popstar Louis Tomlinson took an apprentice under his wing. Harry Styles, seventeen, has risen to fame. Fans call them 'Larry Stylinson', but is there more to their relationship than meets the eye?

With each word, it felt like a dagger was being twisted through his heart. He remembered everything so vividly from the very beginning until the end, Louis walking into the bakery, the plane ticket to France, Prague, the LA incident, Louis coming to Harry's house, spending Christmas with Louis, the New Years Party, touring with Louis around Europe, then ending the exact same place they started, at a table for two in a restaurant that had created false hopes for their future.

There had always been something in the back of Harry's mind telling him this isn't going to work out, or this is too good to be true. He had just been too blinded by love to ever see past the monster Louis really was. The truth is Louis was selfish, arrogant, manipulative, and a cheater. A cold-hearted cheater who had no remorse or guilt for making people feel like shit about themselves; an egotistical bastard who treated Harry and other people like an item and simply used them for his own pleasure. Harry felt sick. Not sick because of the person Louis was, but because at one time Harry had loved him fully and unconditionally.

Everything in that moment was overwhelming. His emotions were clashing into each other, his eyes were running with tears, and his body was shaking. He didn't know what love was, it was a misconception created by humans to think they have something worthwhile in life when really they don't. Louis didn't need love, he already had money and fame. Harry? He had nothing. He was nothing compared to Louis, he was nothing compared to anyone in the whole world. He was simply a boy who worked in a bakery that tried to convince himself that he could find someone that would love him more than anyone in his life ever had.

But, no matter what realizations Harry came to, no matter how many people told him so, no matter how many signs flashed right in front of his eyes, or no matter how many epiphanies he had, he just couldn't stop loving Louis.

Tears dripped onto his phone screen and Harry's hands trembled as he replied.

To: Hannah

That article is bullshit

From: Hannah

Is it, Harry?

To: Hannah

I don't know. I honestly don't. I just want this to all be over

From: Hannah

Come on you already know all this. Louis is a liar, a cheater, a fake.

To: Hannah

But that's not the Louis I know, he's different Hannah I swear

From: Hannah

That's what he WANTS you to think. Was there ever a day you were with him that you questioned if he was the same person?

To: Hannah

What does that have to do with anything?

From: Hannah

Just ask Niall. He can tell you a little secret ;)

To: Hannah

I'm not dragging Niall into this he has nothing to do with me and Louis

From: Hannah

I'm just saying he might know more than he's letting on

To: Hannah

I don't believe you. I know Niall

From: Hannah

And I know Louis and I know you're in denial. Seriously Harry, who do you think that inside source was?

To: Hannah

In the article?

From: Hannah

Duh

To: Hannah

I don't know

From: Hannah

It was me.

Harry stared at the message for a long time. His phone buzzed again.

From: Hannah

You really should believe me

To: Hannah

Why should I?

From: Hannah

Because I grew up with the asshole and dated him for a year and a half. He decided to piss me off and go fuck around with contestants on the show and got caught shagging Nick Grimshaw in the boys bathroom. By the time his contract was signed and he was with Eleanor on a NDA I was completely forgotten. I was literally nothing but an ex who he'd cheated on and "was facing the heartbreak alone" while he was out being successful. Someone had to expose Louis and neither Nick or Niall were going to do it so I had to

Harry reread the message until it was engrained in his brain. Hannah was the inside source from the article. Louis really did cheat on Hannah with Nick. Eleanor was only there to make the cheating rumors die down so his career could flourish. So what did Niall have to do with any of this?

To: Hannah

Why do you keep bringing Niall into this he never even liked Louis

From: Hannah

Oh did Niall never tell you he was what sparked the whole cheating streak? Harry surely you know your best friend better than that

To: Hannah

Just fucking tell me already!

To: Hannah

God okay fine I was going to let Niall explain this one himself but I guess not. You knew Niall was a fan of Louis' back in the day right? Louis must've told you that at some point. Anyway, when Louis and I were together he got "bored" of me, and Niall was a serious stalker fan back in the day. So Louis decided one day to go find his biggest fan and take him to bed and that was the end of that. When I found out Louis loved the reaction he got and so he went and did it again and again until finally that's when he got caught with Nick, and you know the story from there.

What the actual fuck, Louis and Niall had sex? Harry didn't know whether to cry harder or slit Niall's throat. They'd both been lying this entire time? And they both knew?

From: Hannah

I'm really sorry to tell you all of this over text but you asked for it

Harry was too frozen in his state of denial to realize his phone had buzzed again.

From: Hannah

Oh you probably don't even know why this whole chain reaction thing happened hahaha. Louis is bipolar if you didn't know. It's hereditary

There was absolutely nothing Harry could do or say to express how he was feeling. His whole life had been a lie. Absolutely everything. All of the pieces to the puzzle had been found and put into place. Suddenly everything was making sense all the way back to that day two years ago when Niall asked if Harry knew who Louis Tomlinson was. He suddenly remembered that day, and Niall had simply shrugged it off as if it was nothing. Well it wasn't nothing, it had been something life-altering and he'd kept it a secret.

Harry was in a state of immobilization. He wasn't breathing, the world wasn't moving. Everything in that moment was still. It was silent. The wind wasn't rustling through the trees, the sun wasn't shining through the window, every atom in Harry's body was on fire and it felt like he was going to burst into flames.

Nothing Harry did could comprehend the knowledge he just obtained. Two of the most important people in his entire life lied to him and both knew about it. The whole time they had been taking Harry for a joke, silently mocking him behind his back and teasing him behind closed doors. Harry thought he knew Niall and Louis better than anyone but he was wrong. He was always wrong and always would be. He thought Louis loved him and thought Niall and him never kept secrets. He was wrong.

Harry clenched his head between his hands. There had been a consistent headache prodding at the back of his skull the past week and he was aching for it to go away. He wanted the pain to end, both in his head and in his heart. He didn't want to deal with this any longer. He'd been trying to push it away and accept what happened but now he was just tired. He wanted everything to end.

The movements were slow and forgotten and Harry didn't realize what he was doing until he was frantically searching for his mothers painkillers in the bottom drawer of the bathroom. He was clawing his way forward on the tile, tear streaks permanently etched on his cheeks and veins protruding from his bloodshot eyes. Tears burned on the rims of his eyes and he let out a choked sob when he opened the drawer to find it empty. He slammed it shut with a scream and curled his knees to his chest in a fetal position.

Rocking back and forth, Harry's brain racked for any other way possible to end the pain. There was a demon clawing at his back and the only way to kill it was to kill himself. He didn't want to deal with the voices at night or waking up to the sound of "you're worthless". The hole in his chest was continuously growing and Harry felt like he was going to be sucked into it. There was a dark, empty space where Louis had once filled with his radiant smile and shimmering eyes, but not anymore. If Louis didn't want Harry, Harry didn't want to live.

A thought suddenly struck. He slowly lifted his head and looked to the tub. He couldn't drown himself; his body would automatically try to save itself so that would do him no good. He needed something quick yet painful to know that in the last moments of his life he still had feeling. The past two weeks he had been numb and there was no cure for a broken heart. Only time, and Harry didn't have that. He couldn't afford it.

Harry lunged for the second drawer on the right where their extra razors were kept. The last time he'd checked the clock Gemma, Anne, nor Niall were due home for another hour, so that was more than enough time for him to do what he needed to.

As Harry pinched the razor in between his fingers, his hands shook and his eyes quivered. He could just imagine the look on their faces when they came home, fully expecting Harry to be on the couch in a peaceful sleep, only to run upstairs and find his lifeless body bathing in his own blood. The tiles, rugs, and towels would be stained, and each line and print in his body would be threaded with a small stream of red liquid, creating a pool where his hands touched the cold floor and razor lying next to him. Yet as Harry was staring at his wrist with the blade hovering right over it, he knew there would never be a physical cut deep enough to compare to the ones deep in his heart.

He looked between the metal in his fingers and his skin, contemplating if this was really it. If these eighteen years of his whole life had come to this, if this is all his life had been worth. Fake relationships and lies. There was no way Harry could stay and face the consequences, if he didn't go now he'd be more miserable than he had already felt. There was no hope for him in this life, so maybe he would find peace in the next chapter of his life, wherever that would take place.

With a burst of impulse, Harry lowered the blade to his wrist. He winced as the edge poked through his skin, and he slowly began to move it against his skin. Not even a centimeter down, he yanked it away and a violent cry racked his entire body. It hurt, it hurt so much and he couldn't do it, but he had to. He had to or else he would wake up tomorrow with nothing to look forward to. His life would continue in a downward spiral of disappointment and dealing with the fact that no one had ever loved him in his life. If no one loved him, there was no reason for his existence.

Harry bit back his choking sobs and picked the blade back up. His hand was shaking so bad and he didn't know if he'd be able to do it. He shouldn't be hesitating, he should just get it over with so he can move on and not have to deal with the repercussions. There was no one in this world that Harry hated more than himself.

It was now or never. Harry was going to do it in one long fluid movement. If he didn't die, he would keep cutting until there was nothing left to cut. This was it, Harry leaned his head back against the wall as a soft tear trickled down his cheek. He'd miss everyone terribly, but this was for the best.

Right as the blade was pressed to his skin, he heard loud footsteps clomping up the stairs.

"Harry!"

The door burst open to reveal Niall, panting and sweat covering his forehead. His knapsack strap was being held by the crevice of his elbow and he looked more frightened than Harry had ever seen him before. "Harry!" He looked down at Harry's wrists and he choked on his words.

Time stood still. It was as if him and Niall were staring at each other for centuries. There were too many emotions for Harry to comprehend. He was angry with Niall and everything he'd lied about and for miscalculating the time. He was sad, lonely, depressed, hopeless, and felt worthless. He probably was worthless, but now that Niall was here it didn't really seem that way anymore.

Harry felt his world crash down around him. This isn't want he wanted, he didn't want to die. What was he thinking? This was the last thing he wanted to do! Louis didn't get to dictate whether he was worth anything or not. He didn't get to determine whether Harry was a waste of talent or impulsive and unlovable. Fuck Louis, he did nothing but damage Harry in more ways than he can count. Fuck him.

Staring at Niall in the doorway only brought a wave of anger. Niall had taken Harry for a naïve fool and done it behind his back. He'd betrayed Harry and just expected him to be okay with it. He wasn't here for any other reason than pity.

"You," Harry said, his voice dripping with venom. He let the blade drop to the ground as he clambered to his feet all while Niall watched alarmed. "Do you take me for a fucking joke? Did you think I'd never find out?"

Niall looked like a deer in headlights. "Harry, what are you talking about?"

"You slept with Louis!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands out. A droplet of blood splashed onto the floor. "You slept with Louis and you never told me?"

"H-Harry, you're bleeding–" Niall said, but Harry cut him off.

"I don't care! Tell me why you lied!"

Niall's heart pounded in his chest as he reached his hands out carefully. Harry lashed out. "Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me!"

"Harry, if you'd just let me explain–" He cried.

"What is there to explain, Niall? Hannah told me you fucked Louis and you didn't even tell me?" Harry's voice cracked and he closed his eyes and let out distressful sobs. He sunk to the floor again in a heap of emotions. "My best friend didn't even tell me he fucked my boyfriend. What the fuck..."

"Harry, Harry, please." Niall reached out to touch him but Harry jerked his shoulder away. "I never did that, I don't even know Hannah! Yes I was a fan of Louis' back in the day but the only reason I didn't tell you is because I didn't want you to know I was gay, I was still confused back then and I didn't know how to tell you! I just wanted you to accept me, Haz, and I didn't know how you'd react. I never had sex with Louis, Hannah is making that up, I swear Harry I would never keep something like that from you."

"How can I believe you?" Harry cried. "How can I believe anything anyone says anymore? Everyone always knows something I don't and they're just making a fool out of me. Louis never loved me, Nick knew who I was, Eleanor didn't know I existed, Hannah knows everything about me and then suddenly you're connected to all of this?"

Niall set his hand on Harry's arm. His eyes burned into Harry's green irises. "Harry, I swear the only thing I ever kept from you was that I was a fan of his. I've never met Hannah, I don't know who she is, I don't know anything about this. All I know is I came home to you," Niall gestured to the blade lying on the floor, "trying to kill yourself!"

"What else was I supposed to do?" Harry exclaimed. "Everything I've ever known is a lie! I can't trust Louis, I can't trust you, I can't trust anyone!"

"Please believe me." Niall pleaded. "I would never lie to you about something like that. You need to believe me."

"I just want it to stop." Harry buried his face in his arms. His wrist smeared against his jeans. "I just want this pain to stop. There's this hole in my chest and it's not going away. Why isn't it going away Niall? It should be gone, Louis doesn't love me and I'm worthless. Someone as worthless as me shouldn't have to feel. I'm not supposed to feel anything because I don't deserve it."

"Harry, stop," Niall got to his knees and gripped Harry's shoulders tightly, "stop saying that. You're not worthless, you deserve the world, Harry, I wish I could show you how many people love and care about you, including me. I love you Harry, and killing yourself isn't the answer! Why would you try to do something like that? What were you even trying to do?"

Harry slowly shifted his gaze up to Niall's burning impression. He seemed to be telling the truth, but then again Harry no longer knew what truth was. Niall was here claiming he loved Harry and that he was worth something. Maybe not to Louis, but to other people.

There was a feeling that swelled inside of Harry's stomach. No, killing himself wasn't the answer. He had only been trying to mask the part Louis had stolen front him. There was a large hole in Harry's chest where Louis had once wedged his way into but now that he was gone it was empty. Harry just wanted to be loved again. Loved by someone who cared, loved by someone who meant something to him. Loved by someone who helped him fight the demons from his own mind. Loved by someone who cared.

Without thinking, Harry pressed his hands to Niall's cheeks and brought their lips together desperately. Niall gasped and tore away, falling against the cabinets behind him. Harry crawled after him and did it again until finally Niall shoved Harry away forcefully. He landed against the wall with a dejected thump.

"What the hell was that for?" Niall's cheeks were flushed red. Harry was offended.

"What the fuck do you think it was?"

Niall's eyes darted back and forth like a mad man. "Y-You kissed me!"

Harry looked at him like he was stupid. Was he not grasping this concept? Niall's love plus Harry equaled Harry feeling whole again. Niall was the replacement for Louis, it really wasn't that hard. "Yeah, so?"

"God–Harry," Niall pressed a palm to his forehead, "just, what the fuck?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Harry said, even though he felt no need to apologize, "I need someone right now and you're the only one that's here for me! I keep trying to act like everything's okay when it's not, and you're the only one who can make it go away." He looked up at Niall through his wet lashes. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Please."

"You're just saying that because Louis broke up with you." Niall seethed. "You don't have Louis so you think you can just use me to get over him? Seriously, Harry?"

"N-No! It's not like that at all!" Harry tugged at his hair. It seemed like lying was the only thing that could get Niall to believe him. This is what Niall wanted after all, wasn't it? So why was he being so stubborn? "I'm not using you, Niall, I've wanted to do that for a long time, I just didn't realize it!"

Niall stared at Harry. He looked perplexed, half angry that Harry assaulted him out of nowhere and half shocked that he actually did that. Maybe a bit of lust, but Harry would be giving himself the benefit of the doubt.

Eventually, Niall let out an exasperated sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. "Lets get that cleaned up." He eyed the bleeding cut from Harry's wrist and stood up, motioning for Harry to stand up as well.

After Harry's cut was finally clean and bandaged, Niall was fumbling with the end of the wrappings when Harry hesitantly spoke.

"Say something." He whispered.

Niall shot a glare at him, clearly agitated. "What do you expect me to say, Harry? First I walk in on you trying to kill yourself then you accuse me of having sex with Louis then you kiss me? If you want me to say something then don't expect it to be nice."

"Okay, then don't say anything then." Harry muttered. Why did Niall have to be such a pessimist about the situation? Harry kissed him, that's all Niall had ever wanted since he was younger, wasn't it? If Harry was in Niall's situation he would gladly take the opportunity and use it to it's fullest, yet that's coming from someone who just tried to kill themselves and is now using his best friend to fill the gaping hole his ex left. His views may be a little skewed.

"I'm telling Anne." Niall said, and Harry's heart dropped.

"Niall, you can't."

He narrowed his eyes. "Why shouldn't I? This has gotten out of hand, Harry. You went as far to injure yourself, you need to see a doctor or a therapist to check things out up there." Niall glanced at his forehead. "I don't think all Louis did was break your heart. You've gone mental."

"Fuck you." Harry spat.

"I'm just saying." Niall looked back at the bandages. "This is me talking as your harsh best friend. I don't like doing it, but I have to."

"No you don't." Harry retorted. Once Niall cast him a glare, Harry said, "Kiss me again."

Niall's mouth dropped incredulously. "Why should I?"

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Harry asked.

Niall rolled his eyes and pressed his hands to his temples. "You don't understand. I've loved you for years, Harry, and I'm not just going to be your replacement for Louis. You need time to heal and you can't take advantage of people like that, especially me!"

"But I'm not!" Harry insisted. Desperate times called for desperate measures. "I swear I'm not! I want this, I want to move on, you even said so yourself that I need to. Please Niall, this is the only way I know how. I'll go to a doctor, I'll go to a therapist, whatever you want, just please," His eyes glimmered with an ambiguous ray of hope. "I want you."

Niall stared at Harry for a really long time. What was he supposed to do? Harry was practically handing himself to Niall on a silver platter and he was just supposed to accept that? Niall knew for a fact both of them would regret it later, especially Harry. If he just jumped right into another relationship that would cause him to push all his feelings over Louis in the back of his mind and that would delve into a whole other bundle of problems. Niall wanted to keep their friendship no matter what the cost, but now they had gone past a place where it would be awkward to go back to anything but friends. He rubbed his eyelids and opted for the best option.

"What do you want to do?" He figured he'd ask, since he already knew Harry's answer anyway, hoping he'd change his mind yet hoping he wouldn't.

Harry didn't say anything. Instead, he leaned forward and gently pressed their lips together. This time it was more relaxed – more passionate, more tender – and if Niall were to be honest he was in heaven. The feeling of Harry's lips against his was pure bliss and he never thought he'd live to experience the day, although it being for all the wrong reasons.

Harry was nothing but a shell at this point trying to grasp onto any sort of hope he had left, and even though Niall was nothing but an object at that point in time, he'd willingly take it over leaving Harry by himself. He couldn't never bring himself to do that, so he just simply set his hands on the sides of Harry's legs and pressed as close as he could, cherishing each second that passed.

XxX

It was midnight. Niall was sleeping over at Harry's house after getting permission from his parents to stay the whole weekend. He had gotten up to grab a snack and stopped partway through the hall when he felt his phone vibrate in his hand. His eyebrows furrowed together and he pulled it out, opening the text.

From: Hannah

It all comes out in the wash

Niall shut his phone off and quietly slipped next to Harry in the bed.

XxX


	46. Chapter 46

XxX

A few weeks later, Niall walked through the door and scowled when he saw Harry lying shirtless, face-flat on his bed. He seemed to be asleep since he didn't stir when Niall slowly set his bag on the ground. Niall suddenly got an ingenious idea and smirked as he crept up to the side of the bed and flung himself over Harry. He let out a scream and Niall cackled maniacally on top of him.

"Good morning sunshine!"

"Ugh," Harry groaned dramatically, "you scared the hell out of me!"

"Now Harry, remember what your therapist said. You're supposed to be working on your good language." Niall rolled off the bed and went to Harry's window and opened the blinds. This made Harry slap the pillow over his head to block out the sun. It was around noon and Harry had absolutely no motivation to get out of bed. Niall, on the other hand, had plans. It was Saturday, it was sunny, and he had spring fever.

"Get up lazy! I'm hungry and I have stuff to do!" Niall stole the pillow covering Harry's head and hit him repeatedly with it. Harry tried to grab it but to no avail. He looked agitated yet was still smiling.

"Mmm who let you in this early?"

"I was literally here twelve hours ago. You've gotten enough sleep, now come on." Niall went into Harry's closet and picked out an outfit and threw it on top of his back. "You'll be glad I'm actually paying attention to you on a Saturday. I'm missing a derby game for this!"

"I feel so special." Harry rolled his eyes and sat up, looking at the outfit of choice. It was a white v-neck, black and white plaid shirt, black jeans, and black shoes. At least Niall understood the current color of his inner soul.

"When did you even get half of these clothes?" Niall said holding up a lavender sweater. He threw it back on the shelf and picked up another shirt.

Harry laid back down on the bed. "I dunno. My mum must've bought them for me at one point. You have to understand I haven't been home in forever."

Niall gave him a slightly remorseful look before shutting his closet door. "Oh well, that doesn't matter. Gemma and your mum are both gone so I'm taking you with me today."

Harry raised an eyebrow as he put on the v-neck. "Where are we going?"

"I have to wash the car." Niall gave him a cheeky grin as he sat on the end of the bed. "Greg needs it for the road trip him and Denise are going on next week."

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up to put his jeans on. He purposely ignored the way Niall was looking at him. "When are they going to get married?"

Niall shrugged. "I dunno, she's already pregnant so-" He suddenly slapped a hand over his mouth and Harry whipped his head around.

"She's pregnant?"

"Don't tell anyone! Shit, shit, shit..." Niall stood up and pressed his hands to his forehead. "Harry, you have to swear you won't tell anyone! Greg would kill me if he found out I told you!"

"I won't, I swear!" Harry held his hands up innocently. Niall was being super defensive and Harry didn't see what the big deal was. So what, Denise was pregnant, why was Niall yelling at Harry about it?

Niall sighed. "I'll talk to you about this later. I only found out once I got home last night. Greg had just gotten back from the hospital 'cause something went wrong."

Harry cocked an eyebrow. "How far along is she?"

"She's due in July." Niall sighed. "It's a boy."

"And how do your parents not know?"

"He hasn't brought her over in months." Niall pursed his lips then shook his head. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. It's complicated and you're not supposed to know anything. Promise me you'll stay quiet about this?"

"Well, yeah, of course." Harry furrowed his eyebrows. Apparently Niall was going through more than Harry had anticipated. Maybe that's why he was spending so much time at Harry's house - to get away from the secrecy of his family and make sure Harry was okay and surviving therapy. Well whatever the case, Harry was still pissed he had to get dressed and go outside. He didn't feel ready yet.

He was finished dressing and fixed his hair up in the bathroom. He eventually gave up and tied a bandana around it, deeming it good for now. Niall forced him to grab a piece of toast regardless if Harry was hungry or not and headed out to the car. Niall punched the power button to his radio and immediately turned the bass all the way up. Harry rolled his eyes at Niall's attempts at trying to be a gangster along with his red snapback and white supras he was sporting today. Liam had definitely rubbed off on him while Harry had been gone.

A rap song blared through the speakers of the car as Niall drove. He had the windows rolled down and Harry let the wind whip against his face and through his curls at the top of his neck. He had to admit it felt nice getting outside and breathing some fresh air. He'd been stuffed in his house for weeks and the only time he had gone out was to his therapy session. It was going good so far, and even though he'd only been to two sessions he found out most of his trauma was coming from Louis and his father leaving him when he was little. It wasn't really surprising, Harry would've expected as much, it was just strange to see how everything fell into place the way it did.

Harry glanced over at Niall to see him tapping his hand on the window to the beat of the song. He was in a cheerful mood wearing his bright wannabe gangster attire driving down the freeway blasting rap music. This must be what normal fun feels like, Harry thought to himself. Flying to a different country and touring around was fun but it wasn't normal, and Harry hadn't ever known the difference. Just within the past two weeks he learned to have fun wherever he went as long as he enjoyed the company, he didn't need fancy cars or lots of money or paparazzi following him everywhere. He had to create his own fun.

As of recent, Niall was really the only one attempting to keep any type of friendship with Harry besides his family. Liam and Sophia had drifted away, but Harry didn't blame them. He'd pushed them away long ago to save them the suffering through the post-breakup. He was honestly surprised Niall was still sticking around even after everything that happened, but he appreciated it as well. Harry frowned.

Niall slapped the side of Harry's arm. "What's up?"

Harry scowled. "What do you mean?"

"You have that look on your face again. What are you thinking about?"

Harry scoffed. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it."

Niall slit his eyes but then looked back at the road. He turned down the music as they pulled into the car wash. It was a do-it-yourself carwash so Niall jumped out and dug in his pocket for some change, sighing when he didn't find any.

"I'll be right back." Niall left the car running as he ran over to the money exchange machine. Harry sat back in his seat and took a deep breath. The crappy rap song ended and Harry was tuned out of the world until he heard the specific pronunciation of a certain name. His eyes snapped opened and he lunged for the volume to turn it up.

"We're here with an exclusive interview with Louis Tomlinson, live from London! So tell us, Louis, give us a brief synopsis of this year. What happened the lad you were touring with?"

Harry felt his brain go cold and his heart drop to his stomach.

"Oh, you know, he was having some things happen back at home. He wasn't able too finish the tour which is a downer, but family comes first, you know?"

"Understandable! So I hear that you and Eleanor are still going strong?" The interviewers voice was smug. Harry almost spat at the pure disdain he was harboring.

"Yeah," Harry could just picture Louis' expression; features relaxed, small smile gracing his lips, and a devious glimmer in his eyes, fond nonetheless. He would look at the floor to compose himself before looking back up. "We're engaged, actually."

The rest of the sound was playing upon deaf ears. Harry couldn't believe it. It had only been a few weeks and Louis and Eleanor were engaged. Harry couldn't believe he'd moved on so quickly, that's how little Harry meant to him? Louis really hadn't been lying; he never loved Harry. Why had Harry been such a fool? Why had he fallen so easily into Louis' web of lies?

"Harry?" Niall rounded the door just in time for the end of the interview. His eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"So you're not mad at Mr. Styles for ditching in the middle of the tour?" The interviewer asked.

Harry knew Louis shrugged. "It is what it is."

Niall slapped the power button to the radio and stared at Harry in disbelief. "I-I didn't know it would-"

"It's fine." He said. There was a sore lump in the back of his throat that made his voice crack. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. Niall's shoulders slumped in defeat and he squeezed Harry's hand reassuringly before washing and vacuuming the car quickly. He got back in the drivers seat and stared at Harry sympathetically. Harry could only stare at the floor.

"He's engaged, Niall." Harry said, his hands laced through his hair and his elbows propped up on his knees. "It hasn't even been a month and he already proposed to Eleanor. They're getting married."

"Oh Harry." Niall was at loss for what to say. There was nothing he could say that would possibly make Harry feel better. He leaned over and set his hand comfortingly on his shoulder but Harry had no reaction.

Niall started the car and got back on the freeway. The windows were only cracked this time and Harry felt the wind wisp against the top of his hair. He closed his eyes and heard Niall changing the channels on the radio. When he stopped on a station, they heard the chorus of No Control and Harry immediately slit his eyes open in a glare. Niall fumbled to change the channel again, only for them to be talking about Louis and his new album, so Niall gave up and shut the radio off in exasperation.

They drove the rest of the way in silence. The smell of the new car freshener Niall had bought was swirling through Harry's nose. It was a cinnamon pine scent, and Harry found it comforting.

They stopped by a café on the way home and Harry was silent the entire time. Niall didn't blame him.

When they got back to Harry's house, they were sat on Harry's bed when Niall noticed Harry's thumb hovering over Twitter and Instagram. This had been a pattern Niall had observed the past few weeks; Harry would mindlessly unlock his phone, stare at the app, and then shut his phone off and throw it in the drawer of his nightstand. The only reason Harry ever used his phone anymore was to call or text Niall and his family but that was it. Harry's life was still a living hell and with all the rumors and articles circulating about him and Louis must've been suffocating. Niall honestly had no idea what to do since he'd never been in that situation before.

"Do you want me to help you?"

Harry lifted his head from his pillow, eyebrows scrunched together. "What are you talking about?"

Niall gestured to Harry's phone cast to the side. "Clean up your Twitter and stuff. I know it has to be hard and you don't want to look at it just because everything on it is him." Harry averted his eyes and Niall knew he was right. "You don't have to look, I'll do it for you."

Harry bit his lip, contemplating the offer. It would definitely save him the heartache of having to look through all the photos and memories with Louis, but the main issue was what the public's response to his sudden disappearance would be. He already knew he was getting numerous amounts of hate and didn't want to damage his self-esteem even more by looking at it, so he had just shoved it in the back of his to-do-list for later down the road.

Harry sat up and hit his head against the wall a few times before handing Niall his phone with trepidation. Niall unlocked it with ease and went to his twitter. Immediately, he was bombarded with notifications consisting of mentions, groups, spam, tags, direct messages, and quotes. Niall made a face at the commotion then looked at Harry.

"Where do you want me to start?"

Harry shrugged. "Just block anyone that's being annoying."

Niall nodded and went through his notifications. There was half and half - some people were jiving at him about ditching the tour after only a month and for being inconsiderate and not tweeting since the night of the breakup but others were being kind saying they hoped everything was okay. Niall simply blocked the majority of the spam he saw on Harry's timeline and then went through his tweets and deleted the ones with Louis tagged in them. After a few minutes of surfing through his notifications, he started a new tweet and handed the phone to Harry. Harry took it slowly, frowning.

"You have to say something, Harry. They just want answers." Niall said. Harry blinked and looked back at his phone.

I'm sorry for the sudden cancellation, it will all be worked out. All the love. H

Harry sent the tweet and dumped his phone back in Niall's lap. Niall watched at his notifications blew up once more and many people wished all Harry was well while other's apologized and others said they were crying. Niall smiled and showed Harry the screen full of positive tweets.

"See? It's not as bad as you think it is. They like you, Harry."

Harry slowly looked at the screen and read through the tweets. He tapped the follow button in the corner then laid back down on his pillow. Niall observed Harry's Twitter for a bit longer before taking a sneaky picture of Harry and captioning it, Hes a bit tired but everything is okay !!! :) -Niall.

People started questioning who Niall was but he exited out of the app before he could get stuck surfing Harry's timeline more. "Do you want me to do your Instagram now?"

Harry only groaned as a response. Niall smiled and slapped his feet gently before opening the app. Again, there were thousands of likes, comments, and new followers but Niall went straight to Harry's profile. He only had about fifteen photos but more than half of them had Louis in the background or he was tagged in it. He frowned at the pictures of Harry and Louis and how happy they looked.

Niall scrolled through his pictures and read the captions. He stopped on a picture of Louis stuck in the studio that said, "He was recording and got stuck in the studio!! Teehee :) x". Before Niall had time to think he pressed the button in the bottom right and deleted the picture. He then suddenly realized what he did and bit his lip, cautiously looking at Harry.

"Is there any pictures you want to keep?" He asked, his voice wavering and he hoped Harry didn't notice.

"Just the ones without Louis in them." Harry said, and after a moment added, "Besides the one where he's locked in the studio."

Niall winced. Of course that was the one picture Harry wanted to keep. Maybe he could talk him out of it. "Are you sure? I would think you'd want to erase him completely."

"Wouldn't that be suspicious though? Then people would know something happened." Harry raised his head. Niall had to force his expression to be neutral.

"People already know something happened. I don't think deleting pictures will phase anyone." Niall said. It was terrible how easily he was coming up with lies. He figured since Harry was still in a vulnerable state he would cling to everything Niall said.

After a minute, Harry finally spoke. "I guess you're right."

Niall nodded and began to delete all the pictures that contained any remnants of Louis. It didn't take too long and eventually all Harry had pictures of were deer, lyrics, and scenery. Niall closed out of the app and rested his back against the wall. Harry had fallen asleep at this point and Niall was left with an unlocked phone and the power to do anything he wanted. He could easily unblock Louis' number and pretend to be Harry and text him, or he could post something on Harry's Twitter that multiple people would see before he deleted it and Harry would never know. His finger lingered over the Twitter app as the temptation kept growing.

After a moment of musing over the thought of sabotaging Louis' image, Niall stopped. No, he had to be a good friend. If he turned passive-aggressive then Harry would definitely be suspicious. Niall had already taken a huge risk blocking Louis' number and deleting all their messages without Harry's knowledge. He still hadn't noticed which was a miracle, but the day he found out it wouldn't be good for Niall. He'd almost been caught when Hannah exposed him for sleeping with Louis, which he was still pissed about. Niall had called her the next day in a rage, but she had said something interesting that made Niall stop and think.

"I hate Louis, you hate Louis, so why are you trying to protect Harry from him?"

When Niall tried to retort, Hannah interrupted.

"Niall, you know me and you know Louis. I got the short end of the stick here and it was originally your fault. You sparked Louis' cheating addiction and I got blamed for it. Remember how I hated you for the longest time? Well I learned later that it wasn't your fault, it was Louis'. So I don't hold that grudge against you anymore."

Niall rolled his eyes. "What are you even talking about?"

He knew Hannah was smirking on the other line. "Come on, you haven't figured it out already?" Her voice dropped to a threatening tone. "If I can't have Louis, no one can."

Niall sighed at the memory. He knew Hannah was a manipulative bitch by the way she had relentlessly stalked Niall and found his phone number. For the longest time she had sent him anonymous messages full of death threats, and Niall had ignored them until she started getting personal, revealing information that only Louis or Niall knew and it got concerning. It was only after Louis slept with Nick that Hannah revealed who she was, and since then she had wanted to start an "Anti-Louis Team". The sole purpose was to ruin Louis' image and make it impossible for his career to flourish, but Niall had declined. Hannah was bitter and held resentment towards Louis and that was the only reason she wanted to start that. Niall, on the other hand, just felt used but not to the point of wanting to destroy Louis' life.

Hannah was crazy, Niall had decided a long time ago, because anyone Louis came in contact with Hannah was sure to have a fifteen page essay full of facts, quotes, and their entire life story. She was notorious for blackmail and all for the sake of isolating Louis just because he cheated on her. To think she'd try to even ruin Niall and Harry's relationship by revealing a part of Niall's past he wanted to keep hidden said more about her than anything else.

She was getting what she wanted, though, since she was able to become the inside source of that article through Nick Grimshaw - Niall still couldn't believe she had done it, either - that had been released when Louis and Harry had been in Finland. That was a riot, Niall remembered, because Hannah called him in a manic frenzy saying she'd won and Louis' agent was sure to give Louis an ultimatum of keeping his career or break up with Harry. Niall didn't believe her at the time, but when Gemma called him that night saying Harry was coming home early, a burst of dread had settled in his stomach. Hannah knew what she was doing and was doing it well.

And to think she went crazy just because Louis cheated on her. Niall pursed his lips. He supposed these things happened to people in love; they would do anything to keep their heart from breaking in two. Hannah was just trying to protect herself by finding comfort in isolating Louis to have the slim hope that one day he'd become so lonely that he'd go back to her. It was sad, really, to see what desperate measures she had lowered herself to.

Niall sighed and puttered back and forth on Harry's phone until he let out a huff. He supposed he could snoop through Harry's phone a bit without harming anything.

The first thing he went to was Harry's notes. All he found there was lyrics, some song references, a small message Louis had probably typed to Harry when he was sleep, and even a shopping list from last year back in August. Niall looked through his messages, calendar, contacts, and found nothing worthy of being kept a secret. Niall clicked on photos and scrolled through the countless pictures and froze when he clicked on a folder labeled "flowers" and opened it only to see it definitely wasn't a folder full of flowers.

It was all of Louis' nudes.

He squeaked and quickly exited out of the app completely flustered. Nothing he hadn't seen before, but to actually think Harry was that dirty was surprising. He guessed he had no room to talk since he'd actually been in the same boat a few years ago. He just hadn't told Harry about it in fear of him rejecting the fact that Niall might like boys. Then to find out Louis and Harry met by a slim chance of fate in the bakery had sent Niall in a complete state of shock.

There was only one Louis Tomlinson Niall had ever known and it turned out to be the exact same one coming back to bring karma. Niall had known everything about Louis beforehand and only pretended like he didn't when Harry would talk to him.

Niall had been building the courage up to tell Harry about his and Louis' fling, but when Louis bought that plane ticket to France, that was when Niall had figured out what Louis was doing. He was very pattern-oriented and frankly very predicable; Niall knew from how much stalking and time he spent researching Louis. He was ashamed, really, but he couldn't change the past.

From what he had observed, Louis was the type to get into a relationship simply for one of two reasons; one, to make someone jealous, or two, because he was bored. In this instance with Harry, the moment Harry sent that picture of them to Louis, Louis became aware that Harry was "the Harry" Niall had always talked about. It was simply a stroke of fate that had played into this, but Niall knew Louis, and Louis knew Niall, so it was no coincidence that after Louis found out about Niall he had started using Harry to make Niall jealous.

Yes, in the very beginning Louis was bored with Eleanor, and then when he found out Harry was "that Harry", it suddenly became a game. It was obvious, too, since he always went to such great lengths to make Harry fall in love with him. By making Harry fall in love with Louis, that gave Louis bragging rights as well as the right to say, "I'm better than you". From the beginning Niall had tried to drop so many hints about Louis' true nature but they never came out the right way and now they were here. Confused, heartbroken, and angry.

Niall huffed. He should've just been upfront with Harry from the beginning, that way this entire mess could've been avoided altogether.

It honestly hurt Niall to see Harry now think of everyone as his enemy rather than wanting to help him. He had been burned so badly and Niall wanted to hold him until all his pain went away but he knew he couldn't do that. Harry had to heal on his own time in his own terms and Niall couldn't do anything else but be supportive and keep the deadly truths from him. It was for the best.

He gently set Harry's phone on his nightstand and plugged it in, switching his gaze back to Harry. It was only three in the afternoon and Harry was already passed out, he must've been going through so much inner turmoil that he wasn't saying out loud and it was draining him emotionally. It was painful for Niall to know that his best friend was hurting so badly to the point of wanting to end his own life. Niall will never forget that day he walked in and found Harry on the ground with a blade to his wrist. He shuddered just thinking about it.

Then afterwards...Harry had kissed Niall. Willingly? Niall wouldn't know unless he asked. Maybe out of pity or desperation, but Niall didn't blame him. Harry was clinging to the one thing he knew would never leave him since everyone else in the entirety of life always left.

Niall pressed his fingers to his lips gently, letting his eyes flutter shut and the craving for Harry's lips on his come back. He knew Harry had been in a vulnerable situation and would most likely never do that ever again, but Niall could only dream. It saddened him, but he had to get over it. Harry was here and alive; still weak, but recovering. That was all that mattered. Niall would rather have Harry alive than to kiss him one last time on his death bed.

Hesitantly, Niall leaned down and pressed his lips against Harry's temple. His face was so soft and peaceful, like he didn't have a care in the world. When Harry was asleep his world was content. He always had a small smile gracing his lips and never had to worry.

But in the back of Niall's mind, he still had the lingering fear that one day when Harry woke up he would be driven into a corner of insanity that would officially drive him to his end.

XxX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Do you hate or pity Hannah? Leave a comment! :)


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading/commenting and even all the silent readers! :) if you guys like this fic please recommend it to your friends! I'd love to get more feedback <3

XxX

The rest of the weekend Niall had stayed glued to Harry's hip like a leech. Harry seemed to recover from the unexpected assault from the radio interview, and he made Niall swear that he wouldn't tell Anne or Gemma. Niall reluctantly agreed, but not without making a pact that Harry would tell his therapist. He had appointments every Tuesday at three, and so far the sessions seemed to be helping.

Anne didn't question the sudden clinginess Niall or Harry were exhibiting, she just pegged it as the realization that they finally appreciate each other. Niall had simply nodded at the dinner table while Harry poked around the green olives on his plate. Niall had lightly hit his leg under the table to make him stop.

The next week Harry decided to return to school. Niall spent all Sunday with Harry talking through the material they had covered the past month and a half. Harry had gotten overwhelmed so Niall promptly stopped and they goofed around on the piano and guitar all night, making random songs and singing about miscellaneous topics. It helped lighten the mood and ease Harry's anxiety so Niall was able to go home around ten.

It was now Monday and the two were stood at the entrance of the school. It was Harry's first day back and he was clutching Niall's hand for dear life as if he were to be sucked away into a different dimension at any moment. Niall simply held his hand tighter and squeezed it with a calming reassurance. Before they had left the house, Anne warned Harry about how things might be different and if any trouble were to be caused he could be pulled out and be homeschooled. Niall tried to keep the fact that Harry had been the main topic of their school out of his list of "Things To Tell Harry".

"You ready?" Niall asked and Harry nodded silently. Niall let his hand slip out of Harry's and Harry was tempted to reach back for it, but then remembered it wasn't Louis. He recoiled his hand back to his body and followed behind Niall dejectedly.

Harry wasn't even sure why he was coming back. He was almost two months behind in schoolwork and most likely wouldn't remember any of the material he had learned last year regardless when Niall had skimmed through all the school work over the weekend. Harry already wanted to go back home; even being on stage performing in front of thousands was better than going back to school.

The moment they walked through the front doors the hallway fell deathly silent. Harry felt every pair of eyes on him and clung onto the sleeve of Niall's blazer. Niall kept walking forward without so much as a glance to any of their peers.

"Just ignore them." Niall said. "They're all looking for a reason to cause drama."

Harry wanted to cry. He was going to be treated differently until the day he died; there was no escaping the fame that was now attached to his name. He could never be normal again. He was getting ready to bolt back out the door but Liam and Sophia ran up to him, engulfing him in a large hug.

"Harry, welcome back!" Liam said. Harry smiled uncertainly.

"Hey, good to be back." They pulled away and Harry tried to ignore all the stares. "Has much changed around here? It seems different."

"Not one bit." Sophia said. "I mean, people know your name now and that you go to this school, I'm surprised you haven't been mobbed yet."

Liam rolled his eyes. "All I hear about in the halls is Louis so I don't think it'll take long."

Harry flinched. Niall glared at Liam and his eyes bulged. He didn't mean to say Louis' name, it just slipped out. Sophia pursed her lips awkwardly and they all followed Harry to his locker.

He looked up and down at it forlornly, remembering all the gifts Louis had snuck in it. To this day Harry still didn't know how he did it, but it was Louis, and when Louis Tomlinson wanted something he got it. Harry had indefinitely learned that first hand. He took a deep breath and slowly put in the combination before the locker swung open and a note fluttered to the ground. He bit his lip and picked it up with trepidation, seeing the neat handwriting scrawled on the front that said Harry.

"Get rid of it." Harry slapped the note on Niall's chest, got his books, and stormed away. Niall blinked then looked to the couple standing next to him then down at the note. It was Louis' handwriting, no doubt, he was just anxious as to what it said.

Niall slowly unfolded the note and let his eyes skim over the words.

I'm so sorry.

XxX

The rest of the day was hell. Everywhere Harry walked people would stare and murmur under their breath. He had to contain the outburst of anger that was just lingering on the tip of his tongue. What right did people have to scrutinize and talk about his life? It was his decision and his choices so why did people feel the need to judge his every single move?

Harry didn't know why he'd come back to school. It had been a terrible idea; people had been spewing condescending insults his way every minute saying how he was now rich and entitled and didn't need to come to school anymore because he was famous. Harry heard every word that echoed through the halls and frankly wanted to cry. This was all because of Louis. Louis was the one who gave him fame and now he was stuck with the consequences. His mother had been right; nothing would ever be the same.

The day was finally over when Harry was at his locker. He was putting his book on the top shelf when three boys approached him, obviously insecure and looking for a fight. Harry ignored them at first but when the tallest one pushed him, Harry glared at him. He was done with people's shit.

"What do you want?"

"Why'd you come back? Did the big celebrity not want you anymore?" The boy smirked, and Harry recalled his name being James. Harry let out an aggravated sigh and turned back to his locker. He shut it and began to walk away, but James yelled, "Hey, I'm not done talking to you!"

Harry turned around, fists balled at his sides. "If you have nothing better to do than to pick on someone who has more money, more friends, and more self-esteem than you then go somewhere else."

James and his friends looked flabbergasted, and with a newly found confidence Harry smirked and turned to strut down the hall. Unfortunately, feeling was short lived when he felt the back of his blazer being yanked and he was slammed into the locker, making him grunt. James was only centimeters from his face and Harry saw the rage burning ablaze in his eyes.

"You think you're all that now?" James was attracting more attention the louder his voice got. His grip on Harry's neck tightened and Harry tried to alleviate the pressure by pulling against James' wrist. "Shit like you doesn't deserve to walk these halls!"

"I'm all that?" Harry asked, clearly appalled and running out of air. He was five seconds away from snapping. "Who gave you the right to talk shit?"

James puffed his chest and pulled his fist back. Harry knew there was no way he could escape this and closed his eyes, expecting the worse, but the blow never came. Before Harry opened his eyes, he had a brief image of Louis yanking James back by his collar and kicking him in the groin before letting him crumple to the ground. Harry snapped his eyes open, adrenaline rushing through his system, but felt heart broken when instead he saw blond hair and blue eyes shining with rage.

"Stop trying to be relevant and go fuck yourself." Niall seethed.

James stumbled to his feet as his friends helped him up. "What, he's not strong enough to stand up for himself?" He flared his nostrils at Harry. "What a pussy." He walked away with his posse and Harry rubbed his arms soothingly. Niall's gaze burned into their backs until they were gone, then immediately turned back to Harry with tenderness.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Harry hesitantly looked up, the image of Louis with his brunette fringe and sea-blue eyes still flashing through his mind.

"I'm fine." He said and fixed his blazer. He began walking away and Niall followed after him persistently.

"Are you sure, Haz? That's never happened to you before-to anyone, really." Niall said.

"I just want to go home." Harry said curly, ducking his head under all the scrutinizing gazes. Niall nodded and led Harry out the front to his car.

They went to the Horan's house and sat on Niall's bed. Harry was trying to avert the events of today off his mind by doing homework but it wasn't working. He still felt shaky and weak; he couldn't believe what a coward he'd turned into. He was so used to Louis always protecting him and standing up for him that he couldn't even do it himself anymore. Harry's pencil quivered in his hand and Niall looked at him.

"What's wrong?"

Harry clenched the pencil. Louis. It was always Louis. He was everywhere all the time like a shadow in the day. There was no possible escape; no matter what Harry did or where he went something always reminded him of Louis. He had tainted parts of Harry's life that were permanently etched with the marks of his burning fingerprints. He was like a bell hanging over a tower, chiming every hour to remind him of their experiences. For God's sake Harry couldn't even look at his hands because it reminded him of how Louis' fingers used to fit in-between the spaces so perfectly.

"Nothing. I don't get this problem."

"Harry," Niall rested his hand on Harry's wrist, "please tell me."

Harry bit his lip. "It's just, it's just always Louis. No matter what." He leaned against the wall and closed his quivering eyes. "Everything I do there's something that reminds me of him. It's like a piece of him broke off and stayed with me and I can't get away from it." He clenched his fists then pressed them to his temples. "It fucking sucks and I feel pathetic! My entire life revolved around Louis and I don't even know who I am anymore. Without him who am I?"

Niall frowned and rubbed circles on Harry's skin. "I'm sorry."

Harry shook his head. "There's nothing I can do. You hate him, Gemma hates him, hell, my mum hates him." He sighed and stared at the ceiling crestfallen. "But I still love him, and I don't know how to stop."

Niall was again rendered speechless, and frankly anything he said would immediately be dismissed. A feeling of bitterness made it's way to Niall's tongue. He had nothing good to say about Louis, and to constantly hear Harry whine and moan about him wasn't helping either. Niall hated Louis and loved Harry, and now that they'd broken up, he wished Harry would just move on already. It had been a month, what more did he need? Niall was giving everything he had and Harry wasn't even appreciating it.

He was pulled out of his virulent thoughts when he saw Harry wipe his eyes. Niall immediately pulled Harry into a hug and rubbed his back soothingly. Tears kept falling relentlessly down his cheeks.

"I-I can't stop crying, and I feel so stupid!" Harry said, pressing his palms flat against his eyelids. "Why did I love him more than he loved me?"

Niall shrugged half-hearted. "They say in a relationship one person always loves the other more than the other loves them. I don't know why, it's just how it is."

That seemed to increase Harry's tears, and Niall let out an aggravated sigh. He had to change the topic somehow or get Harry's mind off of it. Obviously homework hadn't worked so he had to use another tactic.

"Hey, try and think of something that doesn't remind you of him." Niall said. When Harry gave him a doubtful look, he continued. "And I know that's a lot of things, but just try. What did you used to do before you met him?"

Harry blinked slowly. "I-I don't remember, that's the problem. All I know is I worked in a bakery, I went to school, and I played video games with you on the weekends. That's it."

Niall held back his vexed response. "Okay, well what about when we kissed in the bathroom? That definitely shouldn't remind you of him." Niall was making a conscious effort to not use Louis' name in order to disassociate everything Harry had made a schema of with him. It was a stretch, but Niall had no other options.

Harry slowly pulled away and wiped his sniffling nose. "That was one hell of a memory."

Niall let out a playful snort. "You're telling me."

They sat there in silence for a moment, the topic still stirring in the air. Niall sucked on the inside of his cheek and twirled his fingers while Harry stared at his ankles. Niall knew this day would come where the kiss would be brought back up and things would be awkward. They definitely were more than just friends but weren't exactly boyfriends. It was the transition period Niall absolutely despised in relationships.

"Say...Harry?"

Harry's eyes flickered to Niall's. "Hm?"

"Would you ever, er," Niall scratched his cheek. It had sounded better in his head, and now he felt like an idiot saying it out loud. "would you ever kiss me again?"

Harry cocked his head to the side and Niall anxiously awaited his answer. He seemed conflicted, if Niall was reading him right, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

"I, I really don't know, Ni." Harry said, and Niall's stomach did a flip. "I wasn't really in the right mindset, you know? It just doesn't seem...normal. Like, we're friends, but that's it."

Niall tried to push the disappointment back down his throat. "That's not what I'm saying. Without the "being weird because we're friends" part, would you still?"

Harry shrugged with an uncertain expression. "I mean, yeah, I guess?"

Niall's churning stomach sufficiently eased. That wasn't a no, but it wasn't a yes either. It would just take Harry some convincing and Niall could do that. He'd already convinced Harry he hadn't slept with Louis nor knew Hannah, so if Niall could make that believable then he was better at lying than he had originally thought.

"Is this your way of trying to get me to kiss you again?" Harry deadpanned at him, and Niall broke out into a cackle.

"Maybe, what's it to ya?"

Harry smiled, his eyes still glistening from the tears that stained them minutes before. "Niall, I've known you your whole life and I know you like me, it's not really a secret anymore. I'm sure the whole world knows at this point."

Niall tried to hide the flush that was making it's way up his cheeks. "Yeah, well, you don't have to rub it in! You can't blame me, can you?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't see what's so special about me, but if you see something then that's obviously saying something."

Niall lightly hit Harry's arm. "Yeah, it's saying that you've got low self esteem."

Harry grinned. "Do not."

Niall's mouth dropped then he folded his arms. "Might I repeat what you told me a few weeks ago?" He cleared his throat dramatically then put his hands on his hips and lowered his voice to imitate Harry's. "Hello, I'm Harry Styles and nobody loves me, I hate my life and everything in it!"

"I do not sound like that," Harry shoved Niall on his back. "You're just making fun of me."

Niall laughed and laid back on his pillow. "I'm your best friend, I'm allowed to."

Harry sighed and laid next to Niall. They stared at the ceiling trying to pick out shapes or words from the texturized plaster. Niall put his hands behind his back and let his eyes flutter shut. His heart was beating erratically in his chest and he felt Harry's breath hitch beside him.

"Why did you ask if I'd ever kiss you again?"

Niall opened his eyes. "Why?"

Harry shrugged. "You don't usually ask things like that."

Niall turned on his side. "I was just curious, that's all. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No." Harry responded, looking at Niall with an unreadable emotion in his eyes. Niall felt like Harry was trying to hint at something but he couldn't figure out what. Maybe he was just trying to fill the silence, maybe he was genuinely curious as to why Niall had asked.

They stared at each other for a moment and Niall felt the air between them change. Instead of being light and open, it felt more condensed and tight, like suddenly all the oxygen was being sucked out of the room. The lump in Niall's throat grew larger and he tried to swallow it, but with Harry looking at him like that it was nearly impossible. Niall slowly raised his hand to Harry's cheek and caressed his cheekbone lightly. Harry leaned into the soft touch and closed his eyes. His eyelashes cast shadows across his skin and Niall was in awe at the simple beauty of him. There was more to Harry than what he saw in himself, and Niall wanted to show him that side.

He leaned forward inch by inch, making the bed creak under them, and Harry's eyes fluttered open for a slight moment before closing again. Niall got so close to where their noses were touching and their breaths were tingling, and the lump in his throat was choking him. His heart was beating erratically along with the rhythm of the butterflies in his stomach, and with one last push their lips finally met once more.

A surge of chills made their way up Harry's spine. Kissing Niall was so different compared to Louis. His lips were fuller and held more passion and raw emotions whereas Louis' were always full of lust and zeal. A few times Harry let his eyes open, expecting to see chocolate colored fringe framing sharp cheekbones and sun-kissed skin but instead was met with blond hair and porcelain skin. The smell of roses and cologne was absent and instead replaced with a musky ice scent. It was different, but it was comforting.

And if Harry were to be honest, he liked it better that way.

XxX

It was a few hours later when Harry peered around the corner of the doorframe quietly, his eyes flickering back and forth in the hallway. Niall had gone downstairs to make some food and left Harry alone in his room. Harry honestly felt bad about being sneaky but he still had to find answers. There were things he still hadn't found closure with, and since going to Hannah hadn't turned out so well he was going to his next option.

Harry scrolled through his contacts before clicking on the name then putting the phone to his ear, hoping and praying they answered since they were the only hope Harry had left of staying sane.

"Harry?"

"Zayn," He let out a quiet breath of relief at the familiar voice. "you answered."

"Yeah, but," He hesitated, "now's a really bad time."

Harry scowled. "Why?"

Zayn paused. "Well-"

"Hey Zaynie, who's that on the phone?" Harry's heart dropped as the distinctive voice cut through the line. Zayn turned away from the phone.

"It's no one, Louis." Zayn turned back to the phone. "That's why."

"Where are you guys?" Harry questioned. He couldn't help it - he still wanted to know every detail about Louis; what was he doing, where he was, if he was sleeping okay, if he was going through the same pain as Harry, if he had really meant everything he'd said back in France - it took every ounce of self control for Harry not to ask. He had to not care because Louis didn't care.

"Amsterdam. Louis invited me to come so I did-Louis, don't burn yourself!"

"Um, what are you guys doing?"

"Well...Louis' been an uptight asshole recently so we're on a short vacation." Zayn turned to his friend who was lighting the end of the joint.

"'Appy days!" Louis exclaimed, taking a long puff. Zayn rolled his eyes. Louis was a complete wreck and Harry didn't need to know that. No one did, only Zayn.

"Weed?" He questioned emotionless. Zayn sighed. Whatever, he might as well tell Harry. They'd been together for centuries so they probably had that creepy sixth sense with each other.

"He's not coping well."

Zayn didn't hear Harry's response because Louis yelled at him to get off the phone. He waved the blunt in the air like a madman and Zayn shushed him then turned back to the phone

"What did you need, Harry?"

"I was just going to ask what you did to get over Perrie."

Zayn scowled. "Why?"

"Because," Harry hesitated. "I just...I don't know how to move on. It's been weeks and I've started going to therapy and everything but nothing's working."

Zayn paused. He was about to further interrogate but Louis was about to drown his blunt in the private swimming pool they had rented, so Zayn had to set the phone down and drag him back to the beach chair. Louis cried something incoherent and let his body flop around dramatically while Zayn picked the phone back up.

"What did I do? I honestly don't know, I just got busy, I guess. I got involved in things I used to do before I met her which was hard to find since everything reminded me of her." Zayn said, scowling when Louis flicked ashes towards him. "I started drawing again since I'd been doing that my entire life. It wasn't anything flawless or museum worthy, it was just to get my emotions out there and let myself feel validated. If you keep trying to push away what you had with Louis it's only going to backlash you later on. And yeah, it still hurts and I still wake up in the morning expecting her to be there right next to me but she's not and I just get over it. She didn't love me as much as I loved her and I just had to accept that."

"Zayn! What's for dinner tonight?" Louis asked.

Zayn glared at him then turned back to the phone. "That's it, really. Just do something you love. Or try something completely new, what's something you've never done before?"

Harry was silent on the other end. "I dunno, I've never drawn before, I guess."

Zayn shrugged. "Then try that. It can't hurt, you already have nothing to lose."

Louis started obnoxiously singing a random tune while bouncing up and down. Zayn rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, he's being an idiot right now."

"It's fine." Harry responded. He sounded downtrodden and Zayn wanted to wrap him in a blanket burrito and spoon feed him chicken soup or some sappy shit like that. It was the nicest thing he could think of doing besides having a movie night and watch Titanic while simultaneously eating greasy nachos and ignoring the entire movie to look up hot celebrities.

Zayn sighed. "Now, I can't speak for Louis, but I do know he's hurting just as much as you are. He just acts like he's not."

"But why?" Harry insisted. "Why would he say he doesn't love me when he still does?"

"People do and say crazy things when they're in love." Zayn said. "Even when everything is going against their logic, they do it anyway because they're in love."

"I guess." Harry muttered. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "D'you think you could keep this conversation between us? All of it."

Zayn's eyebrows furrowed and he nodded though Harry couldn't see him. "Yeah, course. If he does ask, though, what do you want me to tell him?"

"He won't ask." Harry's voice suddenly sounded as bright as the morning sun and Zayn could only imagine the fake grin plastered on his face. "Niall's coming back upstairs, I got to go."

Zayn frowned. "Harry-" The line disconnected. He sighed and turned around to look at Louis. He was flicking the butt of the joint to the ground, staring at it as if it were the answer to the measurement of gravity.

"Zayn, the sun doesn't shine anymore." Louis stared at the wispy clouds despondently. "It's just cloudy, do you know where the sun went? Why is he hiding behind the clouds? Is he shy?"

Zayn ignored him and went and to sit on his own beach chair. The sun was definitely shining but he had a feeling Louis wasn't talking about the actual sun. He'd always been a metaphorical lad whilst high - it had been a long time since they'd smoked together but when they did Louis always seemed to ask the most complex questions that had never been answered. He asked things such as if aging will someday be inevitable or if society will be able to predict fifty years into the future. Zayn often got high before Louis to avoid sending his own brain into a twirling mess of "what if's" then keeping him up for the next three nights just lost in his brain.

"My kitten is missing too. Is he hiding because the sun is hiding? Why won't one of them come out so the other will too?" Louis whined. Again, Zayn ignored him and inhaled a good amount of his joint before letting the smoke escape his lips. It felt good relaxing like this; just the two of them. The only thing that made it not enjoyable was Louis' persistent complaining. It was inevitable, though, so he just let him be.

Metaphorically speaking, Harry was both Louis' sunshine and kitten; both things brought light and comfort into Louis' life, and now that it was gone, Louis suddenly thought he had a cat named Mr. Whiskers and the sun was shy and it was driving Zayn insane. It had acted as his defense mechanism after the breakup although Zayn didn't know how long it would last before Louis finally accepted that he had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

XxX


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Demonic themes

XxX

Harry threw his phone to the other side of the bed when Niall walked through the door. He had a sandwich hanging out of his mouth and eyed Harry suspiciously as Harry smiled innocently. Niall slowly shut the door with his foot.

"What?"

"Nothing." Harry jumped up and walked over to the window. He couldn't tell Niall he just called Zayn; that would send Niall into a frenzy and he would scold Harry for being reckless or playing with fire. Harry didn't care, though, since he'd already been burned so badly he wouldn't be able to feel the fire. He didn't feel anything.

Harry peered out the window at the blustery evening. The sun was starting to dip down past the peaks of the rooftops and the leaves on the trees were reflecting oranges and reds. Harry mused over what Zayn had said, do something you love. He didn't know what that meant, exactly, but he was going to start somewhere. Anywhere was better than here.

"I'm going to paint a picture." Harry said, a newly found confidence bursting inside of his chest. Niall stopped mid-bite and stared at Harry strangely. Harry turned around to look at him expectantly. He wasn't saying anything, why wasn't he saying anything? He should be talking or at least jumping for joy, anything was better than the blank stare he was giving Harry.

Niall forced himself to swallow. "Why?"

Harry shrugged. "Because I can."

Niall simply blinked at him. "Okay..."

Harry scoffed and went to sit back on the bed. He crossed his legs and stole a few crisps from the bag in Niall's lap. He munched on them musingly. How did he even paint? What medium was he supposed to use? What was he supposed to paint on? His newly found confidence was slowly starting to wilt. He wasn't artistic worth shit, what was he thinking? Zayn's pep talk had been completely useless.

"Niall, how do you paint?"

Niall gave him a look. "You're asking me? Like I'd know. I'd ask Zayn but that would be a bad idea."

Harry cringed at the irony. "Yeah." He trailed off and sucked on his teeth. When an idea popped into his mind, his eyes lit up. "Hey, you knew Zayn pretty well, right?"

Niall gave him a cautious look. "Yeah..."

"He painted, right?"

Niall took a loud bite from a crisp. "Not necessarily paint, he mostly spray-painted and sketched and all that stuff. He was never out to sell a masterpiece, he just did it because he liked doing it."

Harry nodded. "Do you know where to buy spray-paint, or paint in general?"

Niall definitely looked opposed to the idea. "Harry, why are you-"

"I want to try something new." He said. "Just anything, I don't care what it is. We can go bungee jumping, dog-sitting, take a cooking class, hell, I could even go get my job back if I wanted."

"Harry, Harry, stop." Niall set his hand on Harry's leg. "Remember last time you wanted to do something impulsive? Remember how that turned out?"

Harry scrunched his nose. "Remember when you had a life and stopped making bitchy comments about mine?"

Niall gasped in offense and Harry stole the whole bag of crisps from his lap.

"Now c'mon, we're getting some damn spray-paint."

XxX

Niall begrudgingly followed Harry to the hardware store, murmuring under his breath as he let Harry drive down the freeway. When they got to the store, the employees heads immediately perked up and five at once made their way towards Harry as if it were a competition to see who could talk to him first. A girl that seemed a few years older than Harry won and greeted them with a smile.

"How are you doing today?" She asked, and it was obvious that she knew who Harry was by the way her knees were shaking and her voice was cracking. Harry licked his lips and stroked his chin, making Niall roll his eyes. Harry was such a damn flirt and it had only gotten worse since he'd been with Louis. He just used people for his enjoyment now and that was something Niall had noticed significantly. Harry never didn't anything for leisure anymore, there always had to be something in it for him.

"I'm looking for paint." He batted his eyelashes for good effect and Niall folded his arms. "Paint brushes, paint cans, spray paint..."

"Right this way!" The girl held her hand out and Harry followed after with a smug look on his face. Niall sighed and trailed behind. Either Harry was only doing this to have a good time or he really was full of himself. The mere thought truly made Niall downtrodden.

They were guided to the paint department where another girl took over. She knew who Harry was as well but was more discreet about it and was very polite. Harry went overboard and threw cans of paint into a basket along with different sized brushes and different accessories that definitely weren't needed. Niall simply stood back and watched Harry charm the poor girl into giving him a discount even though he had more than enough money to spare.

On any other day it would be amusing to watch Harry woo a girl but since Niall knew where Harry's motives were coming from it was just sad. He was manipulating other people as if it were nothing - albeit it being just to lower the price for a can of paint - it still ached to watch. Harry wasn't the same person Niall had fallen in love with and he wasn't ever going to be again. Louis had torn and twisted him in ways that could never be fixed and now Harry was trying to put all the pieces back together all by himself. The wrong way, too.

The rest of the night was spent at Harry's house taking apart his furniture and putting it into the spare bedroom. Niall was exhausted and wanted to go home but Harry kept insisting that they don't stop until his entire room was empty, including having all his carpet torn out and thrown out the bedroom window into the lawn below, and Niall could only stand in the doorway and watch Harry shove all of his clothing into a trash bag, stuffing it to the rim. His movements were so quick and subconsciously desperate it was only making Niall hurt more and more the longer he watched, so eventually he had to tear away and drive back home alone in the dark. He cried as he walked through the doorway and immediately locked his bedroom door.

Eventually around three AM Harry passed out on the floor with a lingering presence over him and the last thought he had was sapphire irises and chocolate colored fringe.

XxX

Harry woke up the next morning with his cheek in a pool of drool. The sun was shining on his face and he blinked groggily as he lifted his head. He had fallen asleep on the hard ground and hadn't so much as stirred the entire night. There was a digital clock still plugged into the corner of the wall and Harry glanced at it. It was nine AM. He was late to school. Not that it mattered anyway, he was already behind three months. What difference would one more day make?

Harry rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly. All of his limbs ached from the awkward position he had fallen asleep in. Last night seemed like a blur, he didn't remember anything besides chatting up ladies at the hardware store and pulling all his furniture out of his room without consent from his mother. She obviously was letting it slide by the way she hadn't protested to all the noise he had made last night and probably figured he needed a change. As Harry looked around the room, he suddenly remembered something. Niall had been with him the whole night and he hadn't even realized it. It was almost as if a presence had been following him but wasn't an actual being. To think that it had been Niall and not Louis or rather some supernatural being was skeptical. Harry must be slowly losing his mind.

He went downstairs to make himself some breakfast and scrolled through his phone. Things had significantly eased up though that didn't mean it was over. The media was still hounding him relentlessly and twisting his and Louis' words to make it seem like they hated each other. In fact, it was the complete opposite because Harry still loved Louis deeply. To be honest he didn't think he would ever stop loving Louis throughout his entire life even if the universe were to separate them for eternity.

After pushing away his melancholy thoughts, Harry stormed back upstairs with a purpose. He was going to paint something, no matter how terrible it turned out or random it was, it was going to be something.

This proved harder than Harry had anticipated. He simply sat in the middle of the barren room and stared at the wall. Just stared. He had the can of spray paint in his hand but that didn't mean he'd used it yet. The cap had rolled off to another part of the room while the soft light from the digital clock reflected off of the aluminum can. Okay, so Harry had no idea what to do. He wasn't artistic worth shit, what had given him this crazy idea?

"What did Zayn say?" Harry chewed on his bottom lip. "'Do something new'? Okay, well how do I do that when I don't even know where to start?"

Harry sat there for hours until he hear the front door click open. He immediately knew it was Niall and the pressure really began to build. He'd been sitting there since he woke up and it was past two o'clock and hadn't done anything at all. Niall was going to think he was pathetic.

Niall slowly made his way into the room and stood a few feet away behind Harry.

"Looks like you've made progress." He said. Harry scoffed.

"I'm thinking."

"I can see that." Niall eyed the large, blank wall wondrously. "So you're really going to paint over all of this?"

"Yep."

"Do you know what you're going to paint?"

"Nope."

Niall scratched his nose. "Okay, well, I have to go home so, just...don't inhale too much paint, okay?"

Harry nodded and Niall left with hesitation.

Harry continued to sit there for endless hours until an idea finally struck his brain. He jumped up in a haste then promptly fell over in a wave of nausea. He hadn't eaten since he woke up. He scowled at himself. He couldn't eat yet, he had to do this. There wasn't any time to waste eating food when it didn't last anyway.

He slowly stood back up and braced himself on the wall. It was a large surface area that he had to do whatever he wanted. It was a blank canvas; a metaphor of his life - Louis was no longer in it so he could start over however he wanted. He didn't have to comply with any rules or worry about things he had before. He was free.

All Harry ended up painting that night was a vertical black line two feet long.

XxX

It continued on for two more days. The second day Harry was sat in the dead center of his room all day and all night just staring at the wall. There were no creative juices flowing through his brain. He was stumped. Absolutely and utterly stumped.

Anne, Niall, and Gemma had occasionally checked up on him every few hours to give him food and water since he never left from his spot on the center of the floor. They would simply bring in a dish of food, stare at Harry, then at the wall, and then leave without a word.

Harry hardly remembered them ever coming in because his mind was swirling with thoughts, both good and bad. He was going through his entire relationship with Louis before and after, scrutinizing every detail and analyzing their every moves. What Harry came to realize is that the two were the ends of a polar rod, always in sync and rotating around an axis at a constant rate. Their contrasting personalities and attitudes fell into place with each other and complimented each other's abilities to strive towards success. Whenever one succeeded, the other did too - and vice versa - and they kept building each other up more and more until the other crashed then the other went with them. They were meant to be together and it was fate that had brought their points of axis together.

In the end, though, something went wrong in all of it, and it was because Louis had a disorder. Without that, everything would've ended perfectly. Maybe Harry was getting in over his head, or maybe he was wishing for something he knew could never happen, but one thing he knew for sure was he'd never want to change the person Louis is. Harry loved Louis inside and out and for all his flaws and imperfections. Harry loved the way Louis made him challenge his logic and strive to the very top. Harry loved Louis, and that would never change.

The unfortunate thing was, Louis would never be able to capacitate the same amount of love as Harry. And that was where it all went wrong.

XxX

The third day Harry was still slumped over with the can of spray paint in his hand. There were bags and dark circles under his eyes and a lingering presence hanging over his head. He didn't know what it was, he didn't care to know what it was; all he knew is that it was there. It wasn't happy, it wasn't pleasant; it just kept whispering into his ear all the things he ever did wrong in his and Louis' relationship. Everything he could've done differently, everything he could've done better. Everything Louis' could've said that would've made all the difference.

Eventually, Harry began to accept the presence as his friend rather than a stranger. He had no reason to be wary of it. His worst nightmare had already come true so befriending a demon was nothing new.

"Harry?" A few hours later Niall's voice echoed through the house as he walked through the front door. All the lights were off and he cautiously looked around before walking up the stairs. The hall was dark and eerie and there was a cold breeze coming from one of the open windows.

Niall scrunched his eyebrows together in worry. It was quiet; so quiet Niall was almost afraid Harry had gone and done something that could never be fixed. He tried to shake away the uneasy feeling and braced himself for the worst as he slowly pushed open Harry's door. The pungent smell of paint grew thicker as the door creaked open and the cool breeze only got stronger. Niall saw the curtains wisp against the window frame that led to the outdoors, and there were trails of lines, splatters, hand and footprints on the floor. Niall's eyes slowly widened as his eyes continued to sweep across the perimeter of the room.

Harry was sitting in the middle of the dimly lit room; head low with hands dropped by his side with empty cans of spray paint and dripping brushes full of color lying next to him. His hands were stained with red that had made handprints on the floor, closely relating to the image of a murder scene. On the wall there were miscellaneous sketches running up and down the sheetrock. Words, drawings, and letters painted were scrawled messily to where nothing was legible. There was a splatter of red lining the bottom of the wall that looked similar to splattered blood.

In the corner was a sketch of six stick figures; three had large X's through them and one was even completely scribbled out. Niall could only assume the two left untouched were him and Harry but he didn't know who the other one was supposed to represent. All through the middle and surrounding the border of the graffiti wall were skulls, swirls, lines, the alphabet, and sentences that cut off in the middle. Niall spotted words like not good enough, ruined, and sad and that was it. The rest of the words were blended together with the other paint and handprint marks that had clawed them into a scrambled mess.

There was only one sentence Niall was able to fully read in large words printed dead center of the wall; it was more fun in hell.

"Harry," Niall said quietly as he padded towards his friend slowly. The smell of paint still reeked and Niall had to scrunch his nose up to block out the smell. "what is all this?"

Harry's eyelids slowly fluttered open, letting his empty irises suck in the minimal light shining through the window. He flicked his gaze over to Niall and blinked slowly.

"Me." He said. "Everything I am."

Niall swallowed the spine-chilling thoughts that coursed through his brain. "Who are the stick figures?"

Harry slowly turned his uncanny attention to Niall. He then looked to the wall with an unreadable expression. "The one on the far left is Zayn. Then Liam, then Louis, then me, then you."

Niall clenched his shaky hands. He tried to keep his voice even. "Who's the one above you and Louis?"

Harry's smile was unnerving. "That's my friend. He's the one who told me what I should paint." His eyes slowly grazed across the wall. "He talks to me at night and tells me all his secrets. He's actually here right now, right above me." Harry pointed to the ceiling and Niall felt every part of his body go cold.

This wasn't over, it was far from over. This was only the tip of the iceberg. Harry had truly gone mental. Not only had Louis broken Harry's heart, he'd broken his sanity as well. He'd torn and ripped everything Harry had ever hoped for or known his entire life in a few simple sentences and left him to pick up the pieces.

"It's so pretty." Harry tilted his head to the side like a small innocent child. He then looked to Niall with lifeless, beady eyes. "Isn't it?"

Niall couldn't respond, so instead he let his gaze sweep across the dark handwriting on the wall.

XxX


	49. Chapter 49

XxX

"I don't take pictures anymore."

Niall looked up from his phone. "What?"

It was the beginning of May. Harry had started going back to school and both him and Niall were due to officially graduate in June. Things were finally going back to normal, Niall could say with full honesty. Harry was rekindling his relationship with old friends and was doing really well all around. He and Liam were starting to hang out again and Harry had even taken Sophia on a few complementary dates to thank her for putting up with his insanity.

After the wall incident, Anne had taken Harry to his therapist and they recommended Harry be put on medication. It was supposed to help his brain absorb the serotonin quicker and more efficiently so it made him happy, but at the same time it made him not care about anything. Not in the way like crossing the street without looking, but rather he just didn't care. He'd spend hours on his phone doing absolutely nothing with no remorse or overindulge on the strangest things like staying outside in the sun too long or watching endless shows on Netflix until three AM. He was almost like a walking zombie, but he was happy, so Niall didn't know whether to be relieved or worried.

He and Harry were growing closer, too. Not just as friends again, but they had started to become more intimate. Harry always let Niall sit close enough so their knees and hips were touching and Harry always made his hand unnecessarily brush against Niall's skin. It had been a while since they kissed, but Niall always noticed the way Harry's eyes lingered on his lips longer than normal before he looked away. It was nice to know Harry still cared and felt something even in this phase of his medically-induced brain.

Harry looked at Niall expectantly and Niall raised his eyebrows. "You want to take pictures? What brought this on?"

Harry shrugged. "I just haven't in a while. I miss it."

Niall rolled off the bed (he wasn't going to remind Harry that the only reason he stopped taking pictures was because of Louis) and sat next to Harry on the floor. "Do you have a camera?"

Harry shook his head and dropped to his knees to rummage through his closet. His wallet had been misplaced in a pair of his jeans and he just hadn't had the motivation to look for it. "I used to, but I don't know where it went. I think it'd just be better to buy a new one anyway, my other one was getting old."

Niall sat crisscross and watched Harry sift through the piles of clothes shoved in his closet. That was another thing about the medication; it made Harry very sloppy and he didn't care to hang up his clothes or make his bed or even take a shower, so often Niall, Anne, or Gemma had to remind him that hygiene was important. More often than not Harry had to be shoved into the shower but none of them minded. At least Harry was happy and complacent and no longer suicidal and talking to demons. Niall would rather have zombie-Harry than dead-Harry.

When Harry finally found his wallet, he fell back on his bum and scrounged through the big pocket. He frowned and dropped his wallet in his lap.

"I'm gonna have to save up money. I don't have enough."

A feeling of confused dread spread through Niall's fingers.

"Um, Haz."

Harry looked at him. "What?"

"You're rich."

Harry blinked until the realization settled in. "Oh," he said quietly, glancing back at his wallet. He then looked to his garbage can where all the souvenirs from Louis had been thrown away but not yet taken out to the dumpster. "I keep forgetting."

Niall felt awkward. It seemed as if Harry had completely blanked the last five months of his life and even some. How could anyone possibly forget they were rich?

"Anyway," Niall said, clearing his throat, "why don't we go get you a new camera today? That's a start."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. When can we go?"

Niall smiled. "Whenever you want."

"Then let's go right now!" Harry said, grabbing his phone and keys. Niall simply followed after him to the car and got in the passengers seat and turned up the music.

Apparently the medication was doing just more than easing Harry's anxiety. Niall didn't know whether it was because it had properties that made him forget or he simply didn't care anymore. It truly was strange to see Harry look so surprised at the fact that he could be as stingy as he wanted and swipe his debit card and call it a day. Niall knew Harry wasn't into the super fancy lavish life and didn't like spending money on worthless things like cars or five of the same shoe in different colors. He wasn't like that, but now it was becoming more obvious. He just didn't care.

Two hours and some pounds later Niall and Harry strolled around the park with his new camera in hand. Harry was testing it out by playing with the lighting filters and shutter effects. He took close-ups of flowers, bugs, grass, and even candid shots of Niall, but also started a time lapse photo of the sinking sun. Since he didn't have a tripod, he set it on a part of the playground while him and Niall kept an eye on it as they fooled around. They stood on the swings and saw who could swing the highest, they ran across the tanbark with bare feet, they raced up the slides and they might've pretended to pole dance on the fire pole.

It was nice to revert back to their childish ways and forget about everything for a while. This was truly the happiest and most relaxed Harry had ever felt. He was glad Niall was here with him. He was always supportive no matter what and Harry would always love that about Niall.

After another hour passed and the sun was setting behind the trees, Harry and Niall scared a few squirrels away before they ran back over to the camera. Harry turned the timer off and he looked through the pictures. He definitely had a ways to go before he learned all the ins and outs of the device, but he was satisfied enough to deem the pictures worthy enough to go into his Photography Hall of Fame. He wasn't going to let a pointless breakup come between him and his passion; he took pictures before Louis came into his life and wasn't going to let him ruin it. Harry was going to keep doing it because he wanted to, because if Louis didn't need him, Harry certainly didn't need him either.

XxX

The next day after a particularly long, hellish test, Harry was half asleep on his bed while Niall was running his hand through Harry's hair gently whilst reading a book. It was Wednesday, and the two were literally inseparable at this point. Harry still hadn't dropped any hints of being romantically interested other than his longer-than-necessary staring, but they were technically together. Everyone at school had accepted it at this point, and Niall definitely wasn't complaining. The only thing standing between him and Harry was "the official talk", which Niall wasn't looking forward to but it was inevitable.

The two were home alone, and Niall lowered his book to his lap. Well, it was now or never.

"Hey, Haz?"

"Hm?" Harry slowly stirred from his sleep.

"Um," Niall closed his book. "so...how are you feeling recently?"

Harry lifted his head and gave Niall a weird look as he laughed. "Good?"

Niall grinned and shoved his head away. "Shut up, I'm stalling."

Harry rolled on his stomach and leaned on his elbows. "Why?"

Niall sighed and leaned his head back on the headboard. "Well, I've been thinking..." He twirled his thumbs in a circle. "Everyone always says I'm your boyfriend, which I don't care, but I'm just wondering if you do? If that makes sense."

Harry tilted his head to the side. "Why would I?"

Niall shrugged. "I dunno, 'cause we're not."

"Well did you want to be?"

Niall was silent. Of course he did, and Harry knew that, he was just making Niall say it out loud. "Well, yeah, of course."

Harry shrugged. "Okay, then we are."

Niall stared at him. "Wait, what?"

Harry laughed. "Niall, come on."

"Well I didn't know if you liked me in that way!"

"I didn't but I do now." Harry smirked and Niall rolled his eyes.

"Jeez, thanks for making me feel good."

"My pleasure." Harry sunk flat against the mattress and closed his eyes. Niall's heart was pounding in his chest and he wringed his wrists.

"So...um, is that a yes?"

Harry let out a snort. "Do I need to spell it out for you?" He slowly sat up and sat right on top of Niall's lap. "I, Harry Edward Styles," He draped his arms around Niall's shoulders, "am the official boyfriend of Niall James Horan." He slowly leaned forward. "If anyone is opposed, please show by the uplift of a hand."

Niall grinned. "You're such a dork."

"Mmm, but I'm your dork now." Harry said and closed the gap. Niall felt his hands fist against the hem of Harry's shirt. It was still unbelievable to think that this was actually happening. Just at the mere thought of Harry being his boyfriend had Niall jumping out of his pants but now that it was real? He felt like he was going to faint.

A knock on the door cut their kiss short, and Harry's ears perked up. He made a move to get off Niall's lap but Niall pinned him on the bed instead.

"You stay here. You were in the middle of sleeping when I so rudely interrupted you." He said. Harry narrowed his eyes and went to sit up but Niall pushed him back down. "If it's anyone important I'll come get you."

"Fine." Harry scrunched his nose. Niall grinned and dipped down to kiss him. He hopped off the bed and ran down the stairs.

It was still surreal to him to think that only six months ago he had been hopelessly in love with his best friend and had absolutely no chance. He and Harry had gone through everything together, but watching Harry fall in love with him had definitely been the most painful. Since that day in Harry's bedroom when he told Niall him and Louis were together Niall had hoped and prayed that one day it would change. Now that Niall had all he ever wanted, it seemed so foreign to him. He could finally kiss Harry without it being weird and hold his hand in public and do everything Louis couldn't do. He was going to show Harry what a real relationship was like without any underlying motives.

The smile on Niall's face was as large as the moon until he opened the door. His entire blood ran cold and anger surged through his veins. He couldn't believe it.

"Louis?"

Louis looked rather surprised to see the blond standing in the doorway, but let out a breath of relief. "Niall, hi," Louis said, and it sounded like he had just run a marathon, "I need to-"

Niall stepped out onto the porch and quickly shut the door behind him, keeping his hands tight on the door handle. He hoped Harry hadn't heard Louis' voice or it would ruin everything. Things finally were working out and Niall wasn't going to let Louis ruin his life. Never again. Niall's gaze penetrated into him. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"To apologize." Louis said desperately. "Please, I need to talk to Harry."

Niall clutched the door handle. "You think you can just come back after what you did to him? I know what happened, Louis. You broke his heart and you can't ever take that back."

"I know that!" He exclaimed. "I didn't want to do it! If you'd just let me in I can explain-"

"No! I'm not letting you undo everything we've been through! He's finally in a good place and I'm not-"

"We?" Louis' said incredulously, his eyes narrowing. When the realization finally clicked, his eyes widened and his posture went lax. "We. You and Harry are together."

Niall took in a sharp breath. Louis let out a pained chuckle and ran a hand through his fringe, shaking his head. "You and Harry are together, wow. I didn't expect him to actually do it."

Niall's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I wouldn't say he told you everything, but I did say that if he came crawling back to you you'd take him in an instant." Louis' eyes shone deviously as he looked Niall up and down. Niall's body went numb. "I didn't think it'd actually happen."

The hair on the back of Niall's neck raised. "This has nothing to do with me. Point is Harry is finally happy and you're not going to ruin that!"

"Niall, you don't understand." Louis said, "He hasn't responded to my messages, I've tried calling him but he never answers-"

"Have you ever thought maybe he changed his number? Or maybe he's moved on?" Niall's hands were shaking with rage. He was lying straight through his teeth. Harry still didn't know Niall blocked Louis' number on his phone and he was terrified the day he found out. "Or maybe he was sick of being treated like shit!"

Louis looked hurt. "I need to explain what happened. My agent told me-"

"What? Your agent told you what? That you can't be with Harry anymore because you had to stay in a 'committed relationship'? That all you've ever done is lie? What about me? How am I supposed to act knowing Hannah told Harry about us? I have to live with that guilt forever all because of you." Niall hugged himself tightly. "Why did you do all of this?"

"If you'd shut up and let me finish!" Louis shouted enraged. "I didn't choose this, I didn't choose my management, they told me I had to breakup with him or my career would be over!"

"Oh, so you chose your career over Harry? That makes sense."

"Shut up!" Louis throws his hands out to the side. "From the beginning you've never understood how important this is to me! All my life I've felt like a complete failure and this is the one thing that gives me credibility!"

"And Harry doesn't? He has feelings too!"

"I know that!"

"Then why'd you break up with him?"

"Because I love him!" Louis exclaimed.

There was a long silence after that. Niall swallowed the sore lump in his throat and heard the distinct sound of chirping birds up in the trees. The sun was beginning to slope down over the tops of the houses and the gentle wind rolled by. Louis was panting and he squinted his eyes shut, heart beating erratically. He then pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes and shook his head.

"It's because I love him I did it. He deserves better than that. He deserves better than me." Louis' eyes were permanently focused on the ground. Niall puffed out his chest and took a few steps forward, towering over Louis.

"You're such a liar. You thought you were protecting Harry? Because of you he tried to kill himself!" At the words Louis' eyes widened. "I don't think you get it Louis, Harry hates you now. He doesn't love you anymore, it's time that you moved on." Niall went to turn away but Louis latched onto his arm.

"Niall, please, let me talk to him! I can't live with myself knowing what I've done, I just need to talk to him-!"

"No, Louis! You just can't stand the fact that Harry is happy with someone else besides you! He's happy, why can't you accept that?"

Louis' grip slowly loosened. He opened his mouth but then closed it, averting his eyes to the ground. He sniffed and wiped his teary eyes before looking back up at Niall with pain in his eyes.

"You had your chance, Louis." Niall said evenly, tearing his arm from Louis' grip. "Now leave before I call the cops!"

A tear slipped down Louis' cheek. "Niall-"

"Go!"

Louis flinched and fisted the hem of his shirt. Niall continued to glare at him. He wasn't going to take pity on Louis' small, shivering frame and watery eyes as he looked at Niall like a lost child. Louis had his chance, and he blew it with both Harry and Niall. He was a bad two-legged omen and Niall wanted him as far away as possible from here on out. He wasn't going to let Louis ruin their lives anymore.

Before Niall had the chance to walk back in the house, Louis spoke up.

"You used to love me like Harry loves me." He said quietly, and Niall's hand paused on the door handle. "Do you remember that? Back when you'd do anything for me?"

Niall looked at his hand on the door handle. "No, I don't."

He didn't have to turn around to know Louis' cheeks were stained with tears. "You did, and I remember. That day in the café, that was when I realized I first knew I loved you. You were just a fan, but to me you were so much more. You were my whole world." Louis' lip trembled. "I-I didn't mean all those things I did or said. Once you were gone, I realized what I had lost. I didn't know how much I'd miss you, I, I just want things back to the way they were, Niall."

Niall whipped around. "You missed me? What do you think I went through? I cried for days when I found out you'd only used me to get back at Hannah! What the fuck is your problem? Did you think I'd never find out?"

Louis shook his head. "No, Niall, no-I didn't mean for things to end the way they did, they just, just things got complicated!"

"Then what about Harry?" Niall flared his nostrils. "What'd you get with Harry for?"

"I didn't know it was your Harry," Louis retorted, "if I'd known I would've stayed away. You can't blame me for trying to get you back, Niall!"

When Louis reached for Niall, Niall smacked his hand away. "You're such a liar! Stop trying to make me believe things that were never true! You never loved me, Louis, you only deluded yourself into thinking you did to get rid of your guilt. You only got with Harry to get back at me for not sticking around to play your little games." He seethed, then straightened his back. "Then you dragged Harry into it and look what happened."

Louis' shoulders quivered. "Stop making this about Harry! We're not talking about him right now!"

"He's the reason you're here!" Niall threw his hands out. "Because I sure as hell know you didn't come here to apologize to me!"

Louis grabbed the front of Niall's shirt and slammed him against the door. He let out a gasp as his back hit the wood. He'd seen it coming, it was inevitable, but startling nonetheless. Louis leaned in until their faces were inches apart.

"You're right, I didn't. And I just want to fucking talk to Harry and tell him what a shitty life I've had since I broke up with him. Do you know how miserable I am knowing you're the one to make him smile now? It fucking sucks. So let me tell you something, one day Harry isn't going to love you anymore. One day he'll realize how much better I am than you and come crawling back to me, leaving you in the dust. When that day happens, you'll know I won and that I always will. And you're right, I never loved you." Louis let go of Niall's shirt and he crumpled against the door.

Louis sneered at him before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking down the steps. Niall grunted as he stood back up and fixed his shirt. Louis was mental. Harry wouldn't ever go back to him, he'd pick Niall over Louis in a heartbeat, and Niall knew that.

Slamming the door to his car, Louis drove away as Niall watched him turn the corner with no regard to the stop sign. Niall's sock-clad feet were freezing but he didn't dare go back in the house until he regained his composure. Louis was a control freak and knew how to manipulate people and invoke fear in them, none of that was new information. What was new was that Louis somehow had the schema that Harry would always come back to him. In all Niall's years of knowing Louis he'd never said anything like that before, and it was worrisome. Whenever Louis wanted something, he got it. So that meant he was determined to get Harry back no matter what it took.

Niall darted back into the house and fell against the door and slid to the floor. His chest was heaving and adrenaline was coursing through every part of his body. He hadn't expected Louis to show up so suddenly and then flat out attack him. Niall had to act like nothing was wrong and not utter a single word to Harry about it. If he did that, everything would be ruined. Niall was going to protect his and Harry's relationship no matter what the cost.

He slowly trudged up the stairs, each step higher giving him more and more anxiety. What was he supposed to say to Harry? He looked petrified and was still internally racking with fear. Louis was dead serious, and for him to admit that he'd never loved Niall after claiming he did only proved his will to get whatever he wanted.

Niall stopped at the top of the steps, peering into the mirror at the end of the hallway. His skin was pale and his eyes were permanently glued open. There was no way he'd get out of this one without countless questions or a mental breakdown from Harry. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath then exhaled, plastering a smile on his face. He could do this, like he'd said before; since Niall convinced Harry that he'd never slept with Louis then he could convince Harry of anything. He was too gullible that way, and Niall hated taking advantage of him like that but he had to only to protect him.

Pushing the door open, Niall saw Harry lift his head.

"Hey, who was it?" He smiled, and Niall immediately got into the bed and pulled Harry close to his chest. Niall kissed him fiercely, letting all of his emotions pour out.

"No one. Just a salesman." Niall said. "Did you hear anything?"

Harry shook his head, a lazy smile still gracing his lips. "Nope."

Niall let out a sigh of relief. He was sure when Louis slammed him against the door Harry would've at least gotten suspicious, but the medication was probably the reason for his apathy. It was both a blessing and a curse.

Niall readjusted himself and Harry rested on his chest. Niall picked his book back up from the nightstand and opened it on the bookmark, scanning the page to find his place. He was still shaking so he couldn't focus at all and each time he tried to read a page, his brain kept blanking it, so he ended up reading the same paragraph about five times. Eventually, Harry spoke up.

"Niall?"

He lowered his book. "Hm?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Being here." Harry said softly, smiling up at him. Niall pressed a shaky kiss to his forehead.

"Of course."

XxX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who's your favorite character? Least favorite? If anyone has questions let me know in the comments :)


	50. Chapter 50

XxX

Two weeks later and there hadn't been a word from Louis. Niall was terrified that one day Harry would walk through the door and point at him accusingly and shout, "Louis came here and you didn't even tell me!"

That would be the most unfortunate situation, but it never happened, much to Niall's relief.

They were at Harry's house snogging on the living room couch - quite and intense session, if he were to say - when Harry's phone placed on the coffee table buzzed loudly. They both shot up alarmed and Niall fell onto his back and sighed in exasperation. The bulges in both of their pants were very prominent and Harry laughed at the sight of Niall's flustered expression. Niall giggled when Harry leaned down to press multiple kisses to his cheek and craned to pick up his phone simultaneously.

"What mum?" He said. She was going to pay big time for interrupting them.

"Well hello to you too Mr. Grump. Can you go get the mail? I won't be home until later and I don't want it to get stolen."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Alright."

"Is Niall there?"

Harry scoffed. Was that even a question? Niall had been at their house every day since February, so yes, he was. "Yeah."

"Okay, be good you two."

Harry snickered as he hung up and dropped his phone to the floor. He sunk back down to Niall and kissed him tenderly, aligning their hips. Niall let out muffled groan.

"What did your mum want?" He asked between breaths.

"She wants me to get the mail." Harry said, slowly trailing down Niall's jaw. Niall sucked in a deep breath.

"You-You should go get it then."

Harry pulled away and looked at both of their bodies up and down. "Right now?"

Niall chuckled. "It'll take like what, thirty seconds? I'll still be here when you get back." He winked and Harry pursed his lips.

"Fine! Start counting." Harry hopped off of Niall - who slapped Harry's bum as he ran away - and dashed out the front door. The pavement was hot on his bare feet and he exclaimed small yips of pain as he hopped back into the house and shut the door. He shuffled through the letters and heard Niall lazily counting on the couch, his arms propped behind his head with one knee up. Harry went and plopped onto his stomach, making him let out an oof.

The sight of his name on the front of a letter made him pause. He threw all the other letters onto the coffee table and ripped open the top. Niall lifted his head in curiosity.

"What is it, Haz?" He asked. Harry shrugged and unfolded the letter.

Dear Mr. Harry E. Styles,

You have been chosen among many applicants to audition for our new featured artist. You will report to building 2819 S. London on June 15th at approximately 18:00. Please have an original medley prepared to perform in front of our judges; from there further decisions are to be determined. If you cannot attend arrangements will not be negotiated. We hope to see you there.

Sincerely,

Andrew Irvine

London Record Agency

Niall pushed Harry onto his legs and sat up, slinging his arm around Harry's shoulder. He quickly scanned over the letter and his eyes widened. "Is that what I think it is?"

"I...don't know." Harry was in shock. He had been chosen for the select auditions for the London Record Agency? That was insane, it was nearly impossible to get an audition and if someone did that meant they were really talented, but Harry? He hadn't even been associated with the Agency nor sent in an application, so how did they get his name?

Harry reread the letter over and over again until his eyes settled on the name. Andrew Irvine. He closed his eyes, his brows scrunched together tightly. Where the hell had he heard that name before?

It was as if a bullet train suddenly hit him. Winter break. Louis and him had gone and recorded their EP. Andrew owned the studio and Devry was his assistant. Wait, so Andrew was a part of the London Record Agency and Harry hadn't even known? Was he the one who sent in an application for Harry?

"This is great, Harry!" Niall exclaimed. "You're being recognized!"

"Yeah, but, but, I don't..." Harry couldn't believe it. People still wanted him in the industry? He wasn't useless, impulsive, and a waste of talent? They actually wanted him to come audition to see if he could be "the next big thing"?

"Niall...am I, is this real? Am I dreaming?" He was in a complete daze.

"No, you're not! This is amazing Harry!" Niall hugged him tightly, but Harry couldn't feel it. Was he supposed to be excited? It didn't seem like a big deal, but judging by Niall's reaction, it was. He blinked a few times before smiling.

"I...got chosen. I really got chosen."

Niall nodded eagerly. "You did, because you're the best out there. You're going to win it, I just know it!"

"But-But Niall, I don't even have a song," Harry whined, "and I don't know if I want to do this, I haven't even graduated yet!"

Niall shrugged. "Well, you already don't have it, so why not go try? There's nothing wrong with it!"

Harry sighed and shook his head. Something kept telling him that he should be ecstatic and jumping for joy and dancing on the table top naked, but he couldn't find it in himself. It seemed just like a normal letter that had been pure coincidence. It wasn't as exhilarating as Harry had dreamed it would be when he was a child. It could be from the fact that he'd already lived the celebrity life, or his medication was killing the excitement.

"I...guess I should call my mum?"

Niall nodded jovially.

After calling Anne and having to explain everything twice - because the first time Niall apparently had been "jabbering too much in the background" for her to hear properly - he called Gemma and she was equally as shocked. Harry honestly didn't see the excitement in it, he had just gotten an audition, so what? That didn't mean he was going to be signed, it just meant he was good enough for him to be considered. He didn't see how it was possible though, unless they had looked up his performances with Louis, and even then, they'd see Louis was a much better vocalist than Harry. He clenched his fists at the thought. It'd been forever since he let Louis invade his thoughts like this, but now that it was hitting so close to home, he couldn't help it.

"What if they don't like me?" Harry asked when he and Niall were sat on his bed. "I mean, Louis didn't like me, so why should they?"

Niall glared at him. "He's an idiot. Just forget about him, you need to worry about coming up with a song."

"A song!" Harry groaned. "Niall, how do I write a song?"

Niall wasn't going to bring up the fact that Harry had just written an entire EP with Louis - he had been having severe memory blockage lately which was good yet also bad - and pursed his lips. "I'll help you, it's not that hard."

Harry laid on his pillow for a moment longer, scowling, but then suddenly shot upright. "Wait, remember that song you wrote forever ago? The one you played on the guitar for me?"

Niall blinked. "Oh, uh, yeah. Why-?" He stopped mid-sentence when he understood what Harry was getting at. "Do you want me to finish it?"

Harry nodded furiously. "That would be incredible. I'd even give you credit for it."

Niall looked at him unsurely. "I mean, I dunno, that song is really old and doesn't matter anymore..."

"Pleeeeease?" Harry flipped onto Niall's lap and jutted his bottom lip out. "You'd be the best boyfriend ever."

Niall gave him a look and poked Harry's side. "That's not fair, you can't use that face on me." When Harry continued to give him a sad puppy-dog look, Niall caved. "Fine, fine, I'll finish it, but you have to help me!"

Harry grinned largely and tackled him in a kiss. They got caught in the moment and before they knew it, their clothes were thrown to the bedroom floor and they were completely engrossed in each other. They weren't going to go all the way, though, Harry wasn't positive he was ready for that yet.

Niall let out a gasp as he reached his climax and Harry pulled his hand back to his body. He smirked and pressed a sultry kiss to Niall's lips. Niall looked away in embarrassment.

"What?"

"Still not used to this yet." Niall choked on his words.

Harry waved his stained fingers in front of Niall threateningly and Niall swatted his hand away. They suddenly heard footsteps coming up the stairs and both fell to the floor in a scramble to pick up their clothes. Gemma burst through the door, a large smile on her face, completely unaware that they were trying to make it look like Harry did not just give Niall a hand job.

"I'm so proud of you!" Gemma hugged Harry tightly. He let out a strangled noise and Niall gave him a sympathetic look. Gemma pulled away and bounced up and down. "Do you have a song ready? Let me see the letter!"

"It's downstairs, and Niall is helping me write one." Harry said.

"Aww, cute boyfriend." She said and Niall flushed. "Mum called me and said she'd take us out to dinner tonight. Where do you guys want to go?"

"I don't care, just as long as there's food." Niall said. Harry and Gemma laughed.

XxX

After an amazing dinner, Harry and Niall immediately got to work on the song. Harry wanted to keep the beginning since Niall had worked so hard on it but also wanted to make the ending his own. It had been ages since he'd written a song and wasn't sure if he was still good at it but he would try.

They stayed up well past midnight, and soon all the notes and harmonies were blending into each other. They both fell asleep in the living room, crumpling the papers beneath them and smudging ink on their skin.

When they woke up, Harry was the first to move. He made breakfast for everyone - just flapjacks, nothing fancy - and Anne, Gemma, Harry, and Niall all ate in a comfortable silence.

Harry and Niall continued on writing the rest of the day. A few times they got distracted and dinked around on the piano and sang random theme songs from their favorite cartoons, but eventually got back on track. Harry couldn't believe how long it was taking to write just a simple song, he guessed it was the complex key they decided to put it in. Harry thought a minor key sounded better than a major key, but Niall thought the opposite. They argued over it for a good hour before Niall let Harry win.

"I get lost in your beauty and I can't see two feet in front of me." Niall sang softly, strumming the strings on his guitar.

"But I know in my heart, you're just a moving part." Harry finished. They moved onto the chorus and both practiced their harmonies. He had always loved hearing Niall sing, from the day they'd first become friends Harry always loved to hear Niall's voice. He sounded so lovely with his distinct Irish accent.

They finished the song and Harry smiled at all they accomplished. Niall sat closer to him and set his guitar down to the side.

"They're gonna love it, Haz."

Harry looked at him. "You really think so?"

Niall nodded. "I know so. You're more than what everyone's been saying about you. This is the start of something great!"

Harry chuckled. "Well I sure hope you're right. It won't be the same without you singing it with me."

Niall shrugged. "It's your turn. I'll be there playing guitar anyway so don't worry."

Harry frowned. "Yeah, but still. It sounds better with you in it."

Niall kissed Harry gently. "I said stop worrying. We'll work out that stuff later when you get signed." He stood up and Harry smacked his bum playfully, making Niall squeal. He scurried into his kitchen and slid to the fridge. Harry followed behind him and wrapped his arms around Niall.

"Did you ever think this would happen?" He questioned quietly into Niall's hair.

Niall took a moment before answering. "No," He let the coolness of the fridge seep into the open, relishing in the feeling of both the appliance and Harry, "once you met him I thought any chance I had was done for." He shut the fridge and Harry turned Niall around, holding his chin delicately between his fingers. They pressed against each other and Harry's curls fell in front of his face. Niall brushed his hair back.

"You need a haircut."

Harry frowned. "Do not."

Niall gave him a look.

"Okay fine, I'll get a haircut. But only because I'm doing that audition."

Niall gave him a sly smile. "Thought so." They kissed again, getting lost in the dim kitchen light and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees outside. The moon was shining through the windows reflecting off the counter tops and everything was perfect.

XxX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a mysterious audition. What do you think is going to happen? Leave a comment!


	51. Chapter 51

XxX

The audition was two days away. Harry, Niall, Anne, and Gemma had all taken the week off from school and work to go down to London. They arrived Thursday morning where Harry's nerves were supposed to be bursting through the seams but weren't. He didn't care about the audition; yet he knew he was supposed to, so he acted like he did. Niall seemed to see right through his façade and even asked him about it Friday night, but Harry simply brushed him off and continued to clean his camera lens.

Saturday morning they spent the day going around the area, going out for ice cream, eating fancy lunches at cafes, and letting Niall and Harry venture off so Harry could take pictures of the city. It was truly magnificent, and Harry remembered every detail from when he had been here a few months ago. The clouds were fluffy, the smells were strong, the cars were loud, but Harry didn't care. He was relaxed as he lifted his camera up and captured the dyed tips of Niall's hair in the corner of his frame. Niall turned around and tried to get him to delete it, but Harry used a diversion tactic and smacked a kiss to his lips before walking away.

Nostalgia seemed to be at every corner. He recognized the road Phil had driven him down on the night of the New Years party and even remembered the hotel him and Louis had shared so many memories in. In that very hotel room was the first time they had gone all the way so Harry felt what seemed like a pitiful attachment to the place. Luckily Niall didn't notice the longing gaze he sent to the building as they passed by in the taxi.

Later that night they arrived at the studio and Harry was suddenly overwhelmed by the flooding memories. He had walked these very halls with Louis unknown that it was such an infamous studio. He had taken everything for granted back then and was now realizing it. The only reason he was here was because of Louis. He owed all his worth and success to him, and Harry didn't know whether it made him feel less valuable or empowered.

"Harry Styles." His name was called and Harry took in a deep breath. Niall squeezed his hand reassuringly before they both walked in. Niall sat on a stool that had been provided and Harry looked at the people in front of him. He recognized Andrew on the far left side and his features softened at the sight of him. Andrew gave him a smile and Harry's fingers curled at his sides.

He cleared his throat and mentally went through the introduction he had practiced. "My name is Harry Styles, I'm eighteen, and I'm from Cheshire. I will sing Fools Gold, written by me and Niall Horan."

Niall gave Harry a smile before he started picking at the strings of his guitar. Harry wasn't provided a microphone, so he had to use his full-voice. This agency was serious - they wanted raw talent.

His voice shook when he started, and Niall glanced up before he had to look back down to his guitar. Harry eventually felt his tension ease as he came to the bridge, and in the corner of his eye he saw Andrew nodding proudly in the back. It gave him a boost of confidence and he smiled, pushing his voice out a bit harder. Emotions began to pool in the pit of his stomach. Everything he'd been through had led him to this moment. Everything starting from the day he met Louis up until now; the beginning, the ups and downs, the infatuation, the fights, the lust, the love making, the breakup, the aftermath - it was all starting to come out in bursts.

The song ended and there was a long silence. Harry's mouth was left gaping open until he closed it and nodded his head.

"Thank you." He said, and Niall followed him out of the room. Once they were out of sight in another room, Niall set his guitar on the ground and hugged Harry tightly.

"You did amazing!" He said into his curls. "That was the best I've ever heard you sing!"

"Really?" Harry asked. It made him feel good to know he did well, but he just hoped it had been enough.

Niall nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I looked up and the judges looked like they were about to cry. I'm not even kidding."

Harry gave him a look. "I doubt that."

Niall stuck his tongue out and grabbed his wrist. "Let's go find your mum and Gemma, I'm sure they'll want to hear all about it."

A few excruciatingly long hours later Harry was called back into the room. It was filled with at least twenty people, which didn't bother him at all. It should've, but it didn't.

"Thank you for coming. As you can see, we've taken into careful consideration every one of your talents, attributes, first impressions, and so on." He looked at them sternly. "This is a very serious job and is to not be taken lightly." Andrew's eyes flicked up for a slight moment until he looked down at the paper. "If I could have the following individual please step forward."

The intensity of the room peaked. People were holding their breaths and others started to cry. Harry could only stare straight ahead, completely immobile.

"Harry Styles."

All of the eyes turned to the right side of the room. Harry's eyes widened and took a shaky step forward. Did that mean he made it? His legs were so wobbly it felt like he was going to melt into the ground. There was a long pause as Andrew and Harry kept eye contact. Eventually, his stoic expression broke and a soft smile came on his features.

"Mr. Styles, you've made it through." Andrew said.

Harry let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. The people around him either congratulated him or left the room with tears. Harry pressed his hands to his cheeks with a large smile on his face. He couldn't believe it; out of all the amazing and talented people that had auditioned he had been chosen. It didn't even seem possible. This had to be a dream. Time was distorting all around him.

It seemed like forever until it was just Harry, Andrew, and the judges in the room. Andrew approached him and patted him on the back.

"Congratulation, Harry. You've earned it." He said. Harry beamed.

"This is incredible. I still don't know how it was possible."

Andrew's expression faltered and he opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped. He plastered a smile on his face.

"It's because you're talented, of course. We need people like you in the industry, I'm sure with your previous accomplishments and your presence on stage you'll be a big hit."

After Harry told Niall and his family, the next few hours were a blur. He was shoved into a room and handed a stack of papers and a pen and by the time he was finished signing every line after reading word-for-word he was exhausted. He hardly remembered what the contracts stated explicitly, but one thing had stuck in his mind; he could never talk about his past with Louis Tomlinson.

"Do you have any questions?" Andrew asked as the soles of their shoes clicked against the marble floor. Harry shook himself out of his thoughts.

"No, I think I got everything."

Andrew smiled but then stopped. Harry's footsteps paused and he looked back.

"This may be inappropriate, but I'm sorry about you and Louis." He frowned. "Devry told me when it happened."

Harry pursed his lips. He hadn't thought about the break up in so long that it no longer mattered. There wasn't that sting from the aftermath that swirled in his throat or sent a bitter chill down his spine anymore. It just felt like a piece of ice pressing against his heart but he couldn't feel it. He didn't feel anything; Louis Tomlinson was now just another name.

"It's alright. Things weren't meant to work out."

Andrew looked like he was going to say something, which Harry noticed had been happening quite often today, but kept his mouth shut. He simply smiled and gestured to a room, which Harry promptly stepped into.

The biggest thing Harry still couldn't wrap his head around was the opportunity he was being given. He was here in London now as the new and upcoming artist that could top the charts if he played his cards right. It would be hard work, but it would all be worth it in the end. He would be able to write music and express his loves and experiences through melodies and harmonies and share it with the world. He could touch people's life with just one simple word or note. He could finally make a difference to people who felt helpless; he could help people like himself.

"So, I've taken careful consideration as to which management you will be under. Basing it upon your personality, you're very easy to work with and you take directions well." Andrew said. "His name is Simon Cowell, he's head of the management company you'll be in contract with. You'll be meeting him on Monday of next week."

Harry paused. "But that's the day of my graduation."

Andrew gave him a look. "Harry."

Harry's shoulders slumped. "Can it be later in the day? I really don't want to miss it."

Andrew sighed. "Fine, I'll take that up with Mr. Cowell. You'll be discussing certain rules, which you have to follow. Many of them were stated in the contract, but it's always good to have it reiterated. This is all stressful in the very beginning but I can assure you, the more time you put into it now the less work it'll be later."

Harry nodded. "Okay."

"And knowing how Simon works, he loves fast business. He'll want you to start writing songs for an album to be released by November. For now, he'll have you release a single to get your name out there." Andrew picked up a clipboard and eyed Harry sternly. "I hope your know your biggest competition is Louis. He's been in the industry almost two years now so he has a head start." Harry nodded solemnly and Andrew gave him a cheeky look. "But as you know very well, names die quickly if you don't keep things interesting."

Harry tilted his head and was about to question him, but Andrew dramatically checked off a box on the paper.

"Any questions?" He asked.

Harry blinked, taken aback, and racked his brain for any possible questions. "Um, yeah, what about my family?"

"What about them?"

"Like, I want to give them half of my paycheck, because my mum needs it more than I do." Harry said. "And Gemma needs to pay for school. So I want them to have it."

Andrew stared at Harry with an unreadable expression until he finally nodded. "Duly noted. You can take that up with Simon when you meet with him."

Harry let a small smile grace his lips. So far, things didn't seem too bad. The only thing he had to worry about now is if Simon would like him. As long as he had reasonable freedom and his family benefited from this, he was sure everything would be fine.

XxX

"Mr. Styles, this is Paul Higgins and Anthony Stone. They've been hired under very specific provisions, so they're the best." Andrew looked up from his clipboard to Harry. "Mr. Higgins, Mr. Stone, Harry Styles."

"Nice to meet you," Harry shook their hands. He was currently in London. His graduation had been earlier that day then him and Niall had taken a road trip south. They were planning to spend their next their school-free weeks in London to let Harry get accommodated and start producing music. Everything seemed like it was already going by so quickly and Harry felt like his entire world was spinning faster than he could comprehend.

A man with short black hair walking in the room gained Harry's attention. He immediately held his hand out to Harry and shook it.

"I am Simon Cowell. It's nice to finally meet you, Harry."

Harry nodded. "Nice to meet you, too."

Simon moved to sit down at his desk. "I've seen some of your performances with Louis. You are a very talented young man."

Harry held back a grimace. "Thank you."

"But that's the thing," Simon interlaced his fingers together, "that's all you're known for, being associated with Louis. We don't want him getting all the credit for your success."

Harry tried to push away the unsettling feeling in his stomach. "Okay."

"Which means you need to release a single." Simon pulled a paper from one of his drawers. "Preferably within this month, then you can start working towards the release of an album."

"Oh, um..." Harry glanced at Andrew unsurely.

"He's always like this." Andrew whispered. "He's all business and hardly play but he'll warm up to you. He's been in this industry for a long time. He knows what he's doing."

With a newly found comfort, Harry nodded and Simon passed him a paper. He scanned over the information that needed to be filled in. Harry still felt apprehensive about this whole thing. He suddenly didn't know if he was making the right decision.

"Are you up to the job, Mr. Styles?" Simon eyed him seriously.

Their gazes slowly met. Yeah, it would be hard work, Harry would probably get frustrated, scorned against, fail, made fun of, and called names, but as long as he got to do what he loved then none of those other things mattered. He could continue his relationship with Niall and still take pictures whenever he wanted. He could still visit home for holidays and get engrossed in a pointless game of Candy Crush on his phone for hours and drink a cup of tea by the fire. He would still be completely normal; he'd just be making music full his deepest loves and passions and sharing it with the world. He could finally help people less fortunate than him and show the world that not all things in life have to be negative.

Harry gripped the paper lying between his fingers, and with one last burst of courage, he nodded.

"I am."

XxX


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, here we go...

**Time Skip – End of July**

"Louis, we have to get going."

Louis clenched his teeth. He threw the rest of his clothes in his suitcase with a huff of irritation. That was the seventh time – not that he'd been counting – Eleanor had nagged him for not being ready on time. They were supposed to leave ten minutes ago for the airport but Louis couldn't find the motivation to pack any faster. Mr. Walter was already waiting in the terminal and would more than ninety percent get angry that Louis was late, but Louis didn't care.

The official tour for his album was starting and he had his first concert in two days all the way in California. Louis sat back on his knees, staring at all the wrinkled clothing and cluttered items lying in his suitcase. This wasn't fun anymore. Traveling just wasn't the same with Eleanor. She was always worrying what she looked like and if the paps caught the bad side of her face, and she always complained about getting up early after staying up way later than necessary. Since him and Eleanor were now "engaged" (they weren't in reality, it had only been promotion for his tour and to get rid of the rumors with Harry), she was required to go with him everywhere, meaning she had to quit her modeling job which did not make her happy at all. She was hell to be around, and quite frankly, Louis constantly felt like shit.

He didn't want to admit the reason he hated traveling was because of Eleanor, but really, that was the reason. Back when Louis was with Harry, that had been the best time of his life. Time hadn't existed when they had been together and a concert seemed like a hobby rather than a job. But now with Eleanor, everything was the opposite.

"I'm coming." Louis growled, flipping the lid of his suitcase shut and zipping it up regardless if the clothes would turn out wrinkly. He dragged the suitcase behind him and into the lift. Eleanor fixed her lip-gloss in the reflection of her phone but Louis paid no attention. 

The past four months had been terrible without Harry. Louis tried not to think about it to avoid getting angry but some days he couldn't help it. On the days he absolutely couldn't take it anymore, he'd swallow more of his medication in hopes it would knock him out for a few hours so he didn't have to think. Phil had found out and had to restrict Louis' pill intake to avoid overdosing. It didn't matter to Louis if he did overdose, though, he hated everything about his life and it was the only way to take away the pain if only temporarily.

Nicholas helped Louis lift his suitcase in the back of the car, and Louis flinched when Nicholas gently touched his shoulder. Nicholas gave him a wary look before joining Phil in the front seat and Louis glared at his back.

It was no secret what Nicholas did, Louis wasn't an idiot; that night Nicholas had taken Harry back home and stayed in London for a few days before he met back up with them. No matter how many times Louis yelled and threw objects at him or threatened to fire him, Nicholas never revealed what actually happened, and it pissed Louis off. Not knowing everything about Harry made Louis anxious – he needed to know and control everything about Harry at all times because Harry belonged to  _him_. The fact that Nicholas, Niall, and even Hannah weren't allowing him to do that greatly angered him.

Louis slipped into the back seat with Eleanor and they sat on opposite sides. The air condition was on full blast and the radio was playing softly in the background. Louis shivered lightly as he glanced at Eleanor. It truly was a shame how their relationship actually was compared to the media. Whenever there weren't cameras, they stood twenty feet away from each other and completely ignored the others' presence. When there were cameras, they acted like a loved-up couple that had just come from the bedroom and it sickened Louis to no end. He didn't like Eleanor anymore; she gave him no satisfaction or even pleasure for that matter. She was boring and only cared about clothes and how her nails looked.

He would be lying if he said he didn't want Harry back – the curly haired boy always had something interesting to talk about and he had the attention span of a squirrel. That was one of the most endearing things about him though, is how he would be in the middle of his sentence then immediately stop because he wanted to take a picture of something. He hadn't grown up with a father just like Louis so they understood each other that way. He didn't care much for looks but rather what was on the inside, he was so inexperienced but willing to chug along with blinding trust, and Louis' heart hurt at the reminiscing.

Louis still loved Harry and he hated himself every moment for choosing his career over him. It had been a decision based upon impulse and fear of losing the one thing that ever made him feel worthwhile. But, the longer Louis and Harry were apart, the more Louis realized Harry had fulfilled more of a need and love than all the money in the world or fame could ever give him. Louis didn't want to live like this anymore, he wanted his one source of happiness back. Harry.

Louis was well aware he had royally screwed things up. Having a severe genetic disorder and trying to love someone in a healthy way had never been easy. The medication was supposed to even out his hormones and stop him from making impulsive decisions, but towards the end it just hadn't worked. Louis had become desensitized to it all; Harry had just been too easy and too fun to manipulate – he truly was the most naïve person Louis had ever come in contact with and he found it entertaining to watch Harry's expression whenever something unexpected happened. That, though, had been the changing pinpoint of their relationship.

Louis loved Harry, yes, but he also had too much fun knowing he could control every aspect of Harry's life. It gave him credibility, power; everything he never got to have as a child. Everything had always been out of balance so to finally have someone to control completely was enthralling.

Some days, Louis couldn't tell if he missed the control and power or the person more.

Sighing, Louis rested his elbow on the handle of the car. He stared blankly out the window, watching as cars and trees zoomed by. They always stayed the same, never moving no matter the weather conditions or how many people walked past them each day. Knowing Louis had once been happy and had met the person he thought he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with made a bile feeling tingle in Louis' throat. It was all gone now. Harry had Niall and would never come back to Louis.

_"Alright folks, we have a new artist on the rise, Harry Styles! He was just signed last month with the London Record Agency and his first single was released just this week."_

Louis' ears perked up at the radio. Huh, so Harry had gotten signed after all.  _What an interesting turn of events._

_"We have the privilege to be the first radio station to broadcast it! So here it is, Fools Gold by Harry Styles."_

Louis hid his eyes in the palms of his hands. Harry finally had his own career and was making his own music. They were going to be rivals in the industry.  _Just exactly as he'd planned._

Louis couldn't help the maniacal smirk that graced his lips. What else had he thought would happen, Harry would run back to him immediately asking to be taken back? Louis had approached everything all wrong the minute he texted Harry saying,  _Im coming to your house. If youre not the one to answer the door, then I know its over._  No, that wasn't how Harry played the game. He was more discreet, less obvious about his movements, yet at the same time, he was an open book. Harry was hurting just as much as Louis and by signing a contract and releasing a single was his passive-aggressive way of saying,  _who's useless now?_

A strangled giggle made its way out of Louis' mouth. Harry was such a riot! He was still wrapped around Louis' finger just like the very beginning. Louis knew Harry was fully aware the only reason he was in the industry was because of him, but Louis was greatly anticipating the day they'd meet again and Harry would admit it out loud. He always acted confident and prideful around other people, but when it came to Louis, he was completely submissive. He did anything Louis told him to and subconsciously sought out Louis' attention and approval. That was one thing Louis would always have over Niall – Harry's complete loyalty.

Little did Harry know, though, Louis had hired Simon and paid Andrew to host that audition just to sign Harry to a label. So, in technical terms, Harry signed a contract under Simon who was signed under Louis.

If Louis wasn't laughing before, he definitely was now.

_And yeah I let you use me from the day that we first met_

_But I'm not done yet_

_Falling for your fools gold_

_And I knew that you turned it on for everyone you met_

_But I don't regret_

_Falling for your_

_Fools gold_

**End**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! What did you think? I've loved getting feedback for this fic as much as writing it, and I'd like to thank everyone who has commented/left kudos/bookmarked! If you'd like you can either leave feedback here or on my twitter @velvetylwt :) any questions or comments are welcome!
> 
> If you'd like to check out my other fic in progress, it's right here: https://www.wattpad.com/172566173-jailbreak-%E2%9C%98-l-s-boyxboy-1. Once I have finished uploading all the chapters on Wattpad I will begin to upload them here.
> 
> Also, how would you feel about a sequel? 
> 
> Thank you all again, see you next time!
> 
> -Kir


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